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Nefarious
Before I was discarded for the final time on the doorstep of this place, I had been treated as a hand me down.A pushover that no one wanted and needed to get rid of, but I was happier then. The rules were never as strict, the punishments nowhere near as brutal, and no unkind word was ever spoken to me above a whisper.Things changed after I felt the cane for the first time.Spare the rod and spoil the child extends far greater than anyone can know inside the walls of Our Lady of Heavenly Hope—a place where no such thing exists, and if it does, it died inside of me such a long time ago that I can't remember what it feels like.The halls have gone silent lately and I like it best this way.I'll learn to be kind again and I'll bestow it on the person that needs it the most.And in the end, everything will be okay.
131 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 14, 2020
55 people are currently reading
634 people want to read
About the author
Yolanda Olson
222 books1,886 followersYolanda Olson is a USA Today Bestselling and award-winning author. Born and raised in Bridgeport, CT where she currently resides, she usually spends her time watching her favorite channel, Investigation Discovery.
Occasionally, she takes a break to write books and test the limits of her mind. Also an avid horror movie fan, she likes to incorporate dark elements into the majority of her books.
You can keep in touch with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Occasionally, she takes a break to write books and test the limits of her mind. Also an avid horror movie fan, she likes to incorporate dark elements into the majority of her books.
You can keep in touch with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 143 reviews
February 3, 2021
What the hell did I just read?!?! It was like when you see an accident, and you should look away, but you keep on looking because in my warped mind I needed to know what happens and push my boundaries. I liked it. I did cringe many, many times.
Here is your warning. Take it very seriously. The author states it’s the darkest book she has written, and it fucked. It is. More so than her inferno series. Minus incest in this book. But more f’d up content. Not for the faint of heart. There is no safety and some will find this book disgusting. I did at one point. After reading this I feel like I need to bathe in holy water to cleanse myself and go straight to therapy because I actually liked the book.
On my dark scale, it teeters between black to pitch black. Sr. Paloma Grace is no ordinary Nun as her story unfolds with each new chapter the story becomes more dark and twisted.
This book is well written. I just wish one disturbing part wasn’t in the book. And the ending seemed a little short. I never expect a HEA with Yolanda Olson. One reason I read her books. I just expect more of an epic ending.
Here is your warning. Take it very seriously. The author states it’s the darkest book she has written, and it fucked. It is. More so than her inferno series. Minus incest in this book. But more f’d up content. Not for the faint of heart. There is no safety and some will find this book disgusting. I did at one point. After reading this I feel like I need to bathe in holy water to cleanse myself and go straight to therapy because I actually liked the book.
On my dark scale, it teeters between black to pitch black. Sr. Paloma Grace is no ordinary Nun as her story unfolds with each new chapter the story becomes more dark and twisted.
This book is well written. I just wish one disturbing part wasn’t in the book. And the ending seemed a little short. I never expect a HEA with Yolanda Olson. One reason I read her books. I just expect more of an epic ending.
June 18, 2022
Genre: Horror
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person
Rating:
Life had not shown Sister Paloma Grace any mercy. Determined to cleanse her soul, she embarked on an unconventional journey to absolution.
I’m glad to finally meet Pally because I loved her. She managed to find a way to survive physically and mentally. I can’t help but feel protective of her. I did wish to have a little more of her background history to enrich my reading experience.
The storyline was captivating, especially with how the other character came to play. Also, I feel perfectly fine for enjoying the depravity in this book.
Nefarious is a story of a survival and redemption. It would appeal to readers who enjoy zero-limit dark read.
➕🙏🏼➕. . . (F)BR with Twinsie CC . . . ➕🙏🏼➕
For more reviews/interviews/book talk/promo visit:
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person
Rating:
Life had not shown Sister Paloma Grace any mercy. Determined to cleanse her soul, she embarked on an unconventional journey to absolution.
I’m glad to finally meet Pally because I loved her. She managed to find a way to survive physically and mentally. I can’t help but feel protective of her. I did wish to have a little more of her background history to enrich my reading experience.
They need to see all of the wonderfully ugly things that I’m capable of and they’ll keep coming back for more.
The storyline was captivating, especially with how the other character came to play. Also, I feel perfectly fine for enjoying the depravity in this book.
Nefarious is a story of a survival and redemption. It would appeal to readers who enjoy zero-limit dark read.
➕🙏🏼➕. . . (F)BR with Twinsie CC . . . ➕🙏🏼➕
For more reviews/interviews/book talk/promo visit:
August 19, 2020
20 minutes to read this book and now I need therapy. It's insane, depraved, and I love dark reads. This is a whole other level of fvcked up though. My brain needs a bleach/holy water concoction lol.
Read
August 18, 2021I wouldn’t recommend this book to literally any human on the planet. And I don’t mean that in a “this book is so bad” kind of way. Yolanda’s writing is truly captivating, but omfg the content in here. It was disgusting, depraved, every other synonym you can think of. I want to be clear that I’m not shooting this book down, quite frankly, I was glued to the page but omg how did she think some of this shit up.
I’m not even sure if I should rate it. I rate out of enjoyment and I don’t think I can say in good conscience that I enjoyed this. Anyway, I will be reading more of her work, so take with that what you will.
I’m not even sure if I should rate it. I rate out of enjoyment and I don’t think I can say in good conscience that I enjoyed this. Anyway, I will be reading more of her work, so take with that what you will.
March 26, 2022
A nightmare inducing book, really.
The only reason why I read is to compare this book and Iniquity.
My conclusion is this. Both are horrible and pitch black. I wish I never started this at all because now *that* scene will forever be engrained in my mind.
However, I know what to expect this time. Hence I have no one to blame except myself. There you go. That's my disclaimer. I still hate it.
P.S. Can't we all just universally agree that babies off limit?
The only reason why I read is to compare this book and Iniquity.
My conclusion is this. Both are horrible and pitch black. I wish I never started this at all because now *that* scene will forever be engrained in my mind.
However, I know what to expect this time. Hence I have no one to blame except myself. There you go. That's my disclaimer. I still hate it.
P.S. Can't we all just universally agree that babies off limit?
October 26, 2021
Sister Paloma and Reade
I'm say this.. because hands down I think Yolanda books are wayyyyy to dark for me.. this is my 2nd time reading one of her books.. and I think I am offically kinda done. (My friends hold me to that!!) Why I didn't dnf... you know when you see a car crash and you just nosey to see what happens??? Yup that was me.
I thought the most fucked up thing would be a cross in the ass.. but it got wayy worse... like animals and dead baby arms in places that shouldn't be.. yeah you read that right. Sister Paloma is a fucked up character and.. thats all I can say about this book.. just don't read it... unless that stuff (below) doesn't bother you and you can read this book...
Also glad Reade got what he got..
Drama, sexy times, no virgins
Recommend- NO!!!!
Cover-⭐⭐⭐
Heat level-🌶🌶.5
Necrophelia
Suicide
Cam girl
Verbal and physical abuse
Animal abuse
Anal sex/play
Dead kid abuse
Violence
Snuff
Violence
Non-con
Epilogue
I'm say this.. because hands down I think Yolanda books are wayyyyy to dark for me.. this is my 2nd time reading one of her books.. and I think I am offically kinda done. (My friends hold me to that!!) Why I didn't dnf... you know when you see a car crash and you just nosey to see what happens??? Yup that was me.
I thought the most fucked up thing would be a cross in the ass.. but it got wayy worse... like animals and dead baby arms in places that shouldn't be.. yeah you read that right. Sister Paloma is a fucked up character and.. thats all I can say about this book.. just don't read it... unless that stuff (below) doesn't bother you and you can read this book...
Also glad Reade got what he got..
Drama, sexy times, no virgins
Recommend- NO!!!!
Cover-⭐⭐⭐
Heat level-🌶🌶.5
Necrophelia
Suicide
Cam girl
Verbal and physical abuse
Animal abuse
Anal sex/play
Dead kid abuse
Violence
Snuff
Violence
Non-con
Epilogue
April 7, 2022
When the warning for the book starts with “...be advised this is the darkest story I’ve written to date” - from Yolanda - you know things are going to get interesting.
I was completely ensnared from beginning to end. Sister Paloma Grace is absolutely insane but I couldn’t stop following her story. And the redeemer she choose for the night thought he was as dark Pally but he was sorely mistaken in that belief. For no one is as dark and twisted as the dark web performer herself.
I figured from the authors warning this one may turn my stomach or become too much for me but in the end I found myself sad it ended. Yes there is disturbing content but i guess I haven’t found my definition of pitch black yet, not sure what will turn the tide for me. So until then I’ll keep reading and updating.
✨ The adventure continues with the newly republished KAROLINA: A Nefarious Story which was originally in the STALKERS anthology.
𝓋𝓍𝒽𝑒𝓍𝓃 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓈
Instagram | Facebook | Bookbub
I was completely ensnared from beginning to end. Sister Paloma Grace is absolutely insane but I couldn’t stop following her story. And the redeemer she choose for the night thought he was as dark Pally but he was sorely mistaken in that belief. For no one is as dark and twisted as the dark web performer herself.
I figured from the authors warning this one may turn my stomach or become too much for me but in the end I found myself sad it ended. Yes there is disturbing content but i guess I haven’t found my definition of pitch black yet, not sure what will turn the tide for me. So until then I’ll keep reading and updating.
✨ The adventure continues with the newly republished KAROLINA: A Nefarious Story which was originally in the STALKERS anthology.
𝓋𝓍𝒽𝑒𝓍𝓃 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓈
Instagram | Facebook | Bookbub
November 5, 2021
ETA: My re-read of this was done via Audio Book and it was amazing. Jessica Blackthorne could not have done a better job!!! She was totally in character. There were times I wondered if Jessica had multiple personalities...that's how good she was!!!!!!
Nefarious it certainly is
Look by now y'all should know what to expect. So stop crying like you werent warned.
Pally oh Pally, what has the world done to you?
Reade ugh Reade what was going through your head when you decided you could come out of this.
Listen read her warnings and just know if you love the way Yolanda weaves her world no matter how big or small then you know what your about to get.
Read responsibly my dears bc this one here, there's no coming back from it.
Nefarious it certainly is
Look by now y'all should know what to expect. So stop crying like you werent warned.
Pally oh Pally, what has the world done to you?
Reade ugh Reade what was going through your head when you decided you could come out of this.
Listen read her warnings and just know if you love the way Yolanda weaves her world no matter how big or small then you know what your about to get.
Read responsibly my dears bc this one here, there's no coming back from it.
April 30, 2020
Having read most of Yolanda’s books, I kinda knew what to expect, but “Nefarious” was just some new level of messed up! Sister Paloma Grace is certainly not your ordinary nun and the further her story progressed, the lower my jaw dropped - trust me, even if you think you’re used to twisted things, “Nefarious” will prove you wrong in a most messed up way possible! I don’t know how long it will take me to recover from the sparrow and whatever followed it (no spoilers!), but I’m officially traumatized and loved every second of it lol Fans of all things dark and twisted - grab it. You won’t be disappointed!
May 3, 2021
When the author warns you that this is her darkest book to date; then take that warning with a glass of holy water, because you're going to need it.
This book is heavy, twisted and pitch black dark. To the hundredth power dark!! So, proceed with caution. This short and wicked story will have you reciting a prayer in no time to what the unsaintly Sister Paloma Grace has in mind for her redemption.
I listened and read along to the audiobook of Nefarious. While the narrator wasn't my favorite, she still kept me entertained throughout the entirety of the story.
This book is heavy, twisted and pitch black dark. To the hundredth power dark!! So, proceed with caution. This short and wicked story will have you reciting a prayer in no time to what the unsaintly Sister Paloma Grace has in mind for her redemption.
I listened and read along to the audiobook of Nefarious. While the narrator wasn't my favorite, she still kept me entertained throughout the entirety of the story.
September 15, 2020
Hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
This right here, is a story not to be taken by face value. Though, I guess you can?
Oh, no
Here it is again
I need to know when I will fall in to decay
Something wrong with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here
Dolefully desired, destiny of a lie
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love, set me free
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
- Lacuna Coil
She dons on her shield while she prepares for what's to come. Her nun's habit. Carefully chosen. Indication of intent. A gleam in empty eyes.
The opponent, found among the lost. Unsure of what side each individual stands for. What battle to be fought. Remorse? Vengeance? Regret? Repentance?
Ends in a collaboration.
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
like a hero stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
and be my hero bless me darling and I will forgive you
eloquent and full of grace you speak in tongues
behind my back a dry lung vocal martyr
I will suffer for my lover
I will suffer for his sins
I will suffer for my lover
I am suffering for him
-My Ruin
Haunting voices. Slivers of hope. Silver linings amongst the darkest of nights. Eyes upon you. They're not there to save you but to drown you. Join you. Taunt you.
This hero among them. The tribute. It can only end the way it starts. He thought mercy would end it all.
It can only end the way it starts. Red.
Dare I see
The same in me
I never thought that I could be
So you just lick your wounds
But it's too late
Trust will lead you to your own fate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
WHAT YOU USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
BUT I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED FOR ME
Forgive me father for I'm not clean
I'd rather be Miss Magdalene
Your vaseline won't heal my demons
Cause I don't talk to god I'M SCREAMING
Dare I see
The same in me
Never thought
That I would be...
But now I bruise my knees
Rape my faith
Scar myself
With love and with hate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU'LL REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
AND WHAT YOU'LL USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED
- My Ruin
We're taken by surprise. But the shards of glass start to fall into place. The reflection of truth. A rose with thorns among the destruction and chaos.
When 2 was 1, and when 1 was 2. Simple equations that finally make sense. The clarity of broken glass glued back together. Bittersweet.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past
I witnessed the beauty of the beast
Where have all the feelings gone?
Why has all the laughter ceased?
Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?
- Nightwish
Face value isn't what it seems. Dried flowers left to rot where once was life. A decision leads to consequences unseen. 6 degrees of separation, yet we think we're so far removed and different from what we see.
But I tell you this: take another look. Because it's hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
Nefarious.
This right here, is a story not to be taken by face value. Though, I guess you can?
Oh, no
Here it is again
I need to know when I will fall in to decay
Something wrong with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here
Dolefully desired, destiny of a lie
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love, set me free
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
- Lacuna Coil
She dons on her shield while she prepares for what's to come. Her nun's habit. Carefully chosen. Indication of intent. A gleam in empty eyes.
The opponent, found among the lost. Unsure of what side each individual stands for. What battle to be fought. Remorse? Vengeance? Regret? Repentance?
Ends in a collaboration.
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
like a hero stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
and be my hero bless me darling and I will forgive you
eloquent and full of grace you speak in tongues
behind my back a dry lung vocal martyr
I will suffer for my lover
I will suffer for his sins
I will suffer for my lover
I am suffering for him
-My Ruin
Haunting voices. Slivers of hope. Silver linings amongst the darkest of nights. Eyes upon you. They're not there to save you but to drown you. Join you. Taunt you.
This hero among them. The tribute. It can only end the way it starts. He thought mercy would end it all.
It can only end the way it starts. Red.
Dare I see
The same in me
I never thought that I could be
So you just lick your wounds
But it's too late
Trust will lead you to your own fate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
WHAT YOU USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
BUT I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED FOR ME
Forgive me father for I'm not clean
I'd rather be Miss Magdalene
Your vaseline won't heal my demons
Cause I don't talk to god I'M SCREAMING
Dare I see
The same in me
Never thought
That I would be...
But now I bruise my knees
Rape my faith
Scar myself
With love and with hate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU'LL REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
AND WHAT YOU'LL USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED
- My Ruin
We're taken by surprise. But the shards of glass start to fall into place. The reflection of truth. A rose with thorns among the destruction and chaos.
When 2 was 1, and when 1 was 2. Simple equations that finally make sense. The clarity of broken glass glued back together. Bittersweet.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past
I witnessed the beauty of the beast
Where have all the feelings gone?
Why has all the laughter ceased?
Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?
- Nightwish
Face value isn't what it seems. Dried flowers left to rot where once was life. A decision leads to consequences unseen. 6 degrees of separation, yet we think we're so far removed and different from what we see.
But I tell you this: take another look. Because it's hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
June 17, 2022
4.5 ★
Believing she needs to repent, Sister Paloma Grace created her own niche at Our Lady of Heavenly Hope Convent. Though she cleanses herself regularly, the burden she carries won’t be purged until one night when the circumstances change.
This was a journey into extreme and unabashed blasphemy. Each time I read a book by this author, I know most limits are off the table and this book definitely exceeded my expectations in that arena. Though I would have liked to know a bit more about Paloma’s background, what she experiences is depraved, yet Paloma has her reasons for making such choices.
Nefarious is about the dark depths one will take to escape. This book would appeal to those seeking a cringeworthy read without any boundaries.
♨️ 🎚 ♨️ This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey ♨️ 🎚 ♨️
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
Believing she needs to repent, Sister Paloma Grace created her own niche at Our Lady of Heavenly Hope Convent. Though she cleanses herself regularly, the burden she carries won’t be purged until one night when the circumstances change.
"You’re so beautiful, Pally", he whispers as he rubs my clit faster. “So fucked up and godly in your own way.”
This was a journey into extreme and unabashed blasphemy. Each time I read a book by this author, I know most limits are off the table and this book definitely exceeded my expectations in that arena. Though I would have liked to know a bit more about Paloma’s background, what she experiences is depraved, yet Paloma has her reasons for making such choices.
Nefarious is about the dark depths one will take to escape. This book would appeal to those seeking a cringeworthy read without any boundaries.
♨️ 🎚 ♨️ This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey ♨️ 🎚 ♨️
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
June 13, 2024
5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I find his cruelty to be exquisite. His demeanor as he lashes me over and over is divinity on Earth. It makes me wonder if, really, he’s God finally come down from the heavens to cleanse me in a different way.”
“You’re so beautiful, Pally,” he whispers as he rubs my clit faster. “So fucked up and godly in your own way.”
i actually really liked this book i wish we could have gotten more background into grace and what broke her so deeply🖤 …. however i hate looking at small birds now and the fetus …?😭
came back bc i realize its a 5 star
“I find his cruelty to be exquisite. His demeanor as he lashes me over and over is divinity on Earth. It makes me wonder if, really, he’s God finally come down from the heavens to cleanse me in a different way.”
“You’re so beautiful, Pally,” he whispers as he rubs my clit faster. “So fucked up and godly in your own way.”
i actually really liked this book i wish we could have gotten more background into grace and what broke her so deeply🖤 …. however i hate looking at small birds now and the fetus …?😭
came back bc i realize its a 5 star
September 14, 2020
Hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
This right here, is a story not to be taken by face value. Though, I guess you can?
Oh, no
Here it is again
I need to know when I will fall in to decay
Something wrong with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here
Dolefully desired, destiny of a lie
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love, set me free
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
- Lacuna Coil
She dons on her shield while she prepares for what's to come. Her nun's habit. Carefully chosen. Indication of intent. A gleam in empty eyes.
The opponent, found among the lost. Unsure of what side each individual stands for. What battle to be fought. Remorse? Vengeance? Regret? Repentance?
Ends in a collaboration.
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
like a hero stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
and be my hero bless me darling and I will forgive you
eloquent and full of grace you speak in tongues
behind my back a dry lung vocal martyr
I will suffer for my lover
I will suffer for his sins
I will suffer for my lover
I am suffering for him
-My Ruin
Haunting voices. Slivers of hope. Silver linings amongst the darkest of nights. Eyes upon you. They're not there to save you but to drown you. Join you. Taunt you.
This hero among them. The tribute. It can only end the way it starts. He thought mercy would end it all.
It can only end the way it starts. Red.
Dare I see
The same in me
I never thought that I could be
So you just lick your wounds
But it's too late
Trust will lead you to your own fate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
WHAT YOU USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
BUT I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED FOR ME
Forgive me father for I'm not clean
I'd rather be Miss Magdalene
Your vaseline won't heal my demons
Cause I don't talk to god I'M SCREAMING
Dare I see
The same in me
Never thought
That I would be...
But now I bruise my knees
Rape my faith
Scar myself
With love and with hate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU'LL REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
AND WHAT YOU'LL USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED
- My Ruin
We're taken by surprise. But the shards of glass start to fall into place. The reflection of truth. A rose with thorns among the destruction and chaos.
When 2 was 1, and when 1 was 2. Simple equations that finally make sense. The clarity of broken glass glued back together. Bittersweet.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past
I witnessed the beauty of the beast
Where have all the feelings gone?
Why has all the laughter ceased?
Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?
- Nightwish
Face value isn't what it seems. Dried flowers left to rot where once was life. A decision leads to consequences unseen. 6 degrees of separation, yet we think we're so far removed and different from what we see.
But I tell you this: take another look. Because it's hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
Nefarious.
This right here, is a story not to be taken by face value. Though, I guess you can?
Oh, no
Here it is again
I need to know when I will fall in to decay
Something wrong with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here
Dolefully desired, destiny of a lie
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love, set me free
Set me free, your heaven's a lie
- Lacuna Coil
She dons on her shield while she prepares for what's to come. Her nun's habit. Carefully chosen. Indication of intent. A gleam in empty eyes.
The opponent, found among the lost. Unsure of what side each individual stands for. What battle to be fought. Remorse? Vengeance? Regret? Repentance?
Ends in a collaboration.
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
a blasphemous girl
I am...
stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
like a hero stab me...
like a stalker rape me...
and be my hero bless me darling and I will forgive you
eloquent and full of grace you speak in tongues
behind my back a dry lung vocal martyr
I will suffer for my lover
I will suffer for his sins
I will suffer for my lover
I am suffering for him
-My Ruin
Haunting voices. Slivers of hope. Silver linings amongst the darkest of nights. Eyes upon you. They're not there to save you but to drown you. Join you. Taunt you.
This hero among them. The tribute. It can only end the way it starts. He thought mercy would end it all.
It can only end the way it starts. Red.
Dare I see
The same in me
I never thought that I could be
So you just lick your wounds
But it's too late
Trust will lead you to your own fate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
WHAT YOU USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
BUT I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED FOR ME
Forgive me father for I'm not clean
I'd rather be Miss Magdalene
Your vaseline won't heal my demons
Cause I don't talk to god I'M SCREAMING
Dare I see
The same in me
Never thought
That I would be...
But now I bruise my knees
Rape my faith
Scar myself
With love and with hate
MASOCHRIST...
WHAT YOU SEW IS WHAT YOU'LL REAP
WE'RE ONLY SICK AS SECRETS THAT WE KEEP
AND WHAT YOU'LL USE IS WHAT YOU'LL NEED
I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH YOU BLEED
- My Ruin
We're taken by surprise. But the shards of glass start to fall into place. The reflection of truth. A rose with thorns among the destruction and chaos.
When 2 was 1, and when 1 was 2. Simple equations that finally make sense. The clarity of broken glass glued back together. Bittersweet.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past
I witnessed the beauty of the beast
Where have all the feelings gone?
Why has all the laughter ceased?
Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?
- Nightwish
Face value isn't what it seems. Dried flowers left to rot where once was life. A decision leads to consequences unseen. 6 degrees of separation, yet we think we're so far removed and different from what we see.
But I tell you this: take another look. Because it's hauntingly beautiful and bittersweet.
Nefarious.
May 8, 2021
I love taboo books. I have no triggers. I've read some, let's say, questionable stuff. This book was just trying too hard. It's like the author thought, "what else can I add to be more shocking"? It wasn't even shocking. It wasn't hot, it wasn't interesting, it was just meh. And that's too bad. I've heard great things about this author and I was so disappointed. A lot of times I look at one star reads that will say "it was too dirty" and I'll buy a book based on those. Trust me, this isn't one of those. Just skip this disappointing read.
June 12, 2020
What in the fuckity fuck did I just read?!
I like my books dark. But this was just... I don’t even know.
I think I found my new hard limit.
No mutilated babies and fucking with their body parts.
Nope. I nearly puked.
I like my books dark. But this was just... I don’t even know.
I think I found my new hard limit.
No mutilated babies and fucking with their body parts.
Nope. I nearly puked.
January 30, 2023
What can I say other than the name “Nefarious” was a perfect title. This was PITCH freaking BLACK on the dark scale in my opinion, so heed the TW/CW in the beginning if you don’t know your limits. Of course I choose the darkest book this author has written to start off with but what can I say I aim to shock myself. And oh shock myself I did. This is one of those books you cringe, & peek 🫣 like this while reading. It’s like a train wreck, so disturbing & horrible but you cannot look away. A nun with disturbing or shall I say nefarious extra curricular activities in the darkest recesses of the church she lives in. An epilogue that I didn’t see coming, plus I enjoyed the dual POV towards the end. I can’t say I loved this or disliked it, more like I can’t decide but in a good way?
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September 1, 2022Uhh. Y’all don’t get a rating for this one. It’s a wild ride to say the least. The author said what’s the most fucked up thing I can come up with and then threw it into this novella. Think dead animals and dismembered baby parts in places they shouldn’t be. Did I enjoy it? No. But it happened and now you know about it.
There’s an audio, so if you wanna read it without exposing your eyes to it you can do that. I recommend doing what did and half listening while doing chores.
⚠️Check trigger warnings, duh⚠️
There’s an audio, so if you wanna read it without exposing your eyes to it you can do that. I recommend doing what did and half listening while doing chores.
⚠️Check trigger warnings, duh⚠️
February 22, 2021
Fast paced short story
Its not my usual read but I gave it go as was recommended on a fb group.
Im glad i did, it sucks you in straight away, dark beyond dark, depraved and packed with taboo scenes.
Its DEFINITELY NOT for the light hearted. There is triggers from the start.
I love olsens writing and am going to read more x
Its not my usual read but I gave it go as was recommended on a fb group.
Im glad i did, it sucks you in straight away, dark beyond dark, depraved and packed with taboo scenes.
Its DEFINITELY NOT for the light hearted. There is triggers from the start.
I love olsens writing and am going to read more x
August 31, 2020
Awesome! This is a quick read that is, Twisted, Sick and Depraved! You have been warned now enjoy. 😉
February 26, 2021
Well... okay then. I read this to be prepared for the short story in the Stalkers anthology. Yes, there is some pretty fucked up shit in this story. Yes, there are ALL the trigger warnings. This is Yolanda’s darkest book yet, but I think maybe I’ve become desensitized to this shit now lol. I didn’t cringe or need to take a break for once. Maybe it’s because I recently read Iniquity:An Inferno World Novella and that was some cringe-y shit, let me tell you. I felt that this wasn’t quite as bad as that one on a relatively dark scale. But this is still like... woooo wee. DarkAF.
Not even gonna give any spoilers or more than what’s in the synopsis. Just read it for yourself.
Includes: dead animals, dead baby body parts, a fucked up live steam and one cray cray girl.
3.5⭐️
POV: Dual 1st person
Not even gonna give any spoilers or more than what’s in the synopsis. Just read it for yourself.
Includes: dead animals, dead baby body parts, a fucked up live steam and one cray cray girl.
3.5⭐️
POV: Dual 1st person
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December 27, 2020I don’t know how to rate this book.
It was a quick and disturbingly dark read that will leave you thinking of it for a while after reading.
It pushed my only personal limit when it comes to things that disturb me and I think that’s why I have trouble rating it. It made me- uncomfortable. [SPOILER] That limit being anything involving babies/young children. [END SPOILER]
The writing and plot was actually very interesting and intriguing. I almost wish it were longer so that we could see more in depth story of how she came to act like this and such and what her time was like before she became so dark. It fills it in just enough- but I’m always hungry for more when it comes to shorter stories like this.
It was a quick and disturbingly dark read that will leave you thinking of it for a while after reading.
It pushed my only personal limit when it comes to things that disturb me and I think that’s why I have trouble rating it. It made me- uncomfortable. [SPOILER] That limit being anything involving babies/young children. [END SPOILER]
The writing and plot was actually very interesting and intriguing. I almost wish it were longer so that we could see more in depth story of how she came to act like this and such and what her time was like before she became so dark. It fills it in just enough- but I’m always hungry for more when it comes to shorter stories like this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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June 4, 2020Okey wow - this book was so short and it was the most fucked up books I’ve read.
I need professional help after his, I need holy water, for fuck sakes I need to visit a priest or do I even wanna do that after this book?
I’m speechless, shocked and I cant get over what I just read - did I read right or was this a dream?
I need professional help after his, I need holy water, for fuck sakes I need to visit a priest or do I even wanna do that after this book?
I’m speechless, shocked and I cant get over what I just read - did I read right or was this a dream?
October 28, 2022
I received this book as part of my Dark and Disturbed Halloween box.
Okay so I first read Inferno by Yolanda and that was a dark, taboo and crazy journey so I knew to expect extreme for Nefarious but I DID NOT see this book coming.
This is a psychological horror about a nun who has a peculiar extra curricular activity. This book is absolutely messed up and i would put it in the same category of Chandler Morrisons Dead Inside. If you don’t know about that book then Nefarious is not going to be for you.
Nefarious will push your limits for the extreme, fucked up and disturbing but I loved it because of all that.
Okay so I first read Inferno by Yolanda and that was a dark, taboo and crazy journey so I knew to expect extreme for Nefarious but I DID NOT see this book coming.
This is a psychological horror about a nun who has a peculiar extra curricular activity. This book is absolutely messed up and i would put it in the same category of Chandler Morrisons Dead Inside. If you don’t know about that book then Nefarious is not going to be for you.
Nefarious will push your limits for the extreme, fucked up and disturbing but I loved it because of all that.
May 27, 2022
A dark and twisted ride!
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! This book was crazy, extremely dark and absolutely twisted and I couldn't get enough!
I thought Bones was sick and demented but I think Pally blows him out the water! I mad it took me this long to read this. BEWARE! If you have any triggers or a weak stomach, then I suggest you stay far away from Sister Paloma Grace. Otherwise, kick back and enjoy the cleansing. 😈
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! This book was crazy, extremely dark and absolutely twisted and I couldn't get enough!
I thought Bones was sick and demented but I think Pally blows him out the water! I mad it took me this long to read this. BEWARE! If you have any triggers or a weak stomach, then I suggest you stay far away from Sister Paloma Grace. Otherwise, kick back and enjoy the cleansing. 😈
August 26, 2023
This was the first book I’ve read by this author and I honestly don’t know whether to give it 2 stars or 5 stars. It was so twisted and fucked up. Which y’all already know I am here 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 some 👏🏻 fucked 👏🏻 up 👏🏻 shit!!! Ok?!
But this one was… whew. The mental picture in my head. I can’t decide if I need an exorcist or a psychiatrist 🫠
I’m gonna go look at some more stuff by Yolanda because if this is her vibe then sign me tf uppppp bitch 🤌🏻🙌🏻
👁️👄👁️
But this one was… whew. The mental picture in my head. I can’t decide if I need an exorcist or a psychiatrist 🫠
I’m gonna go look at some more stuff by Yolanda because if this is her vibe then sign me tf uppppp bitch 🤌🏻🙌🏻
👁️👄👁️
August 27, 2023
Trying to find the words to write a review for one of Yolanda's books is one of the hardest thing. Every one of her books leaves me sat think what the hell did I just read? This is absolutely no different. I thought I had already read Yolanda's darkest book, I was wrong... so wrong. The writing style is outstanding, I felt so bad for Pally even though I shouldn't have! This book is absolutely jaw dropping!
April 17, 2025
The one with the frozen toys.
Uhm. 😶 👀 what…happened? This is what I get for asking for “dark book recs”. Shame on me. Totally surprised this short read wasn’t banned on Amazon—and here we are.
A nun has a side gig online shoving frozen dead animals into her hooha. When she needs to cleanse herself she searches the street for bloodshed. She comes across a man whom she brings back to her room.
Every thing that happens after that is heinous. I have no triggers. None. But this was wild.
Uhm. 😶 👀 what…happened? This is what I get for asking for “dark book recs”. Shame on me. Totally surprised this short read wasn’t banned on Amazon—and here we are.
A nun has a side gig online shoving frozen dead animals into her hooha. When she needs to cleanse herself she searches the street for bloodshed. She comes across a man whom she brings back to her room.
Every thing that happens after that is heinous. I have no triggers. None. But this was wild.
January 27, 2022
Holy mother of fuck this book is twisted as hell. I don’t even know if that’s enough of a word to describe how fucked up this book is. But when I say fucked up please don’t miss interpret that this book was fucking amazing but it was dark and it took me to places I never thought I would go.
Read the trigger warnings and take them seriously this book is definitely not for the faint of heart the things that she does to herself and the object she uses are crazy as hell and extremely demented.
It’s a fast read me so well written. I seriously would love to take a trip through Yolanda Adams mind and just see what goes on in there because the things that this woman writes shocked me every time. Definitely recommend if you can handle the triggers.
Read the trigger warnings and take them seriously this book is definitely not for the faint of heart the things that she does to herself and the object she uses are crazy as hell and extremely demented.
It’s a fast read me so well written. I seriously would love to take a trip through Yolanda Adams mind and just see what goes on in there because the things that this woman writes shocked me every time. Definitely recommend if you can handle the triggers.
Read
January 8, 2021Idk how to rate this. 61 pages of fucked up 😂 It is one of the darkest books out there but I wasn’t shocked 🥴 what does that say about me? 🙈😂 I did cringe though. Lots of triggers.
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