The Enneagram in Love: A Roadmap for Building and Strengthening Romantic Relationships

by Stephanie Barron Hall

Discover deeper bonds and more intimate connections with the power of the Enneagram

The Enneagram is a popular tool for self-discovery, but it can also help enhance romantic relationships. With The Enneagram in Love as your guide, you will learn how to use insights from this motivation-based personality system to improve loving partnerships and create a more fulfilling connection with your significant other.

This comprehensive exploration of the Enneagram offers an in-depth examination of the ways each of the nine types behaves in how they handle intimacy, express themselves, and deal with conflict. Discover the opportunities and challenges that you and your partner will face while also getting realistic, actionable advice for navigating and overcoming tough spots you might encounter.

The Enneagram in Love

Romance and the Enneagram—Get a guide focused on improving your love life through the reasoned approach of the Enneagram. Love for everyone—Examine the interplay between the nine types with chapters devoted to the strengths and weaknesses of all 45 possible couplings. A road map for success—Explore potential problem spots in your relationship and what you can do to address them.Love like you’ve never loved before—with a little help from the Enneagram.

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Love, Self Help, Audiobook, Marriage

211 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 26, 2020

Reviews

[Jody · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a fine little book if you want a basic overview on the Enneagram types and how they might pair (strengths/weaknesses) in a relationship. You could also skim through the Enneagram Institute's website and gain as much if not more info. Still, a good guide for beginners. :)

[Gretchen · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are an enneagram enthusiast, this is the perfect book for you! Stephanie provides an overview of each enneagram type, a breakdown of how to use the enneagram model, a description of each personality type in love, and the interplay for the 45 possible enneagram combinations.

If you are new to enneagram, I think other books offer more information on wings/each type specifically, but a brief description is each type IS given in this book! Stephanie also provides a list of great enneagram resources and tools! I love the structure of this book and enjoyed reading about how the enneagram plays out in relationships!

Copyright line: The Enneagram in Love: A Roadmap for Building and Strengthening Romantic Relationships, by Stephanie Barron Hall, published by Rockridge Press. Copyright © 2020 by Callisto Media. All rights reserved.

[Sav · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not very in-depth at all—overly simple and short.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting to only skim this book, because I was primarily interested in reading about my type and relationship combinations, giving special attention to the 2-5 relationship, since I am a 2 and many of my closest friends are 5s.

But then, because I am a 2 and I care a lot about the people in my life and relationships in general, I ended up reading the whole thing, and just imagining various combinations of various people I knew to provide interest.

And I did enjoy it! It's an easy read. I've done a lot of independent enneagram research, so I was worried the enneagram background might be boring or a little basic, but the author keeps it brief, so it mostly works. The relationship combinations, because all 45 are listed, are not super in-depth; a little more so than the author's Instagram account content, but not that much. I also do think it'd be interesting to dig into wings and subtypes for the double type combinations, but I understand why the author chose not to. I also appreciate that the author emphasizes that healthy adults of any combination can make it work. I know some typology experts prefer to avoid commenting on the interplay at all because it can make people so weird about what the "ideal" match is, but I like that the author strikes a middle ground of commenting on these different dynamics (because they ARE interesting), but also emphasizing that a relationship is between two individuals and that matters.

I will add, though, that because the descriptions are generally pretty short, when you read it straight through the way I did, it can get a little repetitive. A lot of "like any double type pairing," repeated emphasis on the health of the individuals mattering, etc. I mean--it's important, so it's fine. Also, where I found this book most useful and interesting was when the author actually commented on which type pairings seemed to be common based on her informal data collection via Instagram. More up-to-date and likely more accurate than the only other data I had found from some vague obscure old website.

Overall, not revolutionary, but probably mostly because I do so much of my own research. Still a quick, interesting read--and the first full enneagram book I decided to just read from start to finish, so there's that, too. :)

[Alicia Robben · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this Enneagram book! I follow the author on Instagram and was excited to see a summary of her Instagram posts. Most of my friends and family do not know their Ennegram type, so I found the last half of the book about how different types work together on relationships long. Not all of the different combinations related to me. This first half of the book was very helpful and I enjoyed learning more about the psychology behind the enneagram!

Thanks to Callisto Media/Rockridge Press & NetGalley!

[wellreadtraveler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had taken the test and new my Enneagram number a few months ago. I picked up a few books on the subject and was really interested to read everything I could, see if it was really like me, and also to improve on myself. Then I thought it would be interesting to see what my husband is and find a book that tells us how we click, butt heads, or ways we can understand each other. I really enjoyed this book and it’s small description of each number, and then a section of how we can work together.

[Ansunette Pelser · Rating 2 out of 5]

Probably best at the beginning of the Enneagram journey

This book is well-intentioned and offers some helpful insights, however I would rather recommend this to someone at the beginning of their Enneagram journey. I follow the author on Instagram and enjoy her insights there. After reading some other Enneagram books, such as Beatrice Chestnut’s “The Complete Enneagram”, I don’t think this really shed any new light on the subject. I was hoping the information about the interaction between different types would be a bit more in-depth and substantial. Sadly, this was not the case.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect book for enneagram enthusiasts. A very short audiobook that I was able to pick up through my library after Stephanie Barron Hall was on the Dear Shandy podcast. I enjoyed the information shared and how enneagrams show up in relationships. It gave me a lot to consider, and I would recommend it! The audiobook format is not great for this type of book, as there are sections about enneagrams interacting with each other in relationships, but ultimately I enjoyed listening about relationship enneagrams that were different from my own.

[Odie Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

picked this up to obviously pick myself out of the bunch and see how much the Enneagram differs from out zodiac signs. definitely want to read more into the enneagram but i really enjoyed learning about this and even more so connecting it to me and my partner to see where we connect and how we can strengthen that. this for me is one of those coffee table reads. so easy to just pick up and enjoy in the momment.

[Jacob Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stephanie uses the Enneagram as a guide to offer insight and wisdom in how to deal with the motivations and turmoil within one's self and how this plays out with those whom we love most. It's the kind of book that one will find themselves returning to for deeper understanding, both during the healthy moments of life and the dark cycles that we succumb to.

[Bridgit · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Stephanie Barron Hall's enneagram Instagram account, and I really enjoyed The Enneagram in Love. It was easy to read and I think it will be incredibly beneficial to reference the pairings at a later date. I do think you will need a base knowledge of the enneagram before reading this book.

Thank you to Rockridge Press and NetGalley for the free e-copy.

[Mandy Hazen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read. I love the education of the enneagram and love learning so much more about it. Sometimes it can be hard to read when you want to rush to “your” part but the author did a very good job of putting the book together and keeping the reader on track. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for learning more information about each enneagram type in a relationship. It is informative but easily readable. You could pick it up if you are unfamiliar with the enneagram, but I found it more useful since I already had a working knowledge of it. The author provides a list of other books to read too.

I received and ARC from NetGalley.

[Steven · Rating 2 out of 5]

Straightforward, but when you read the book start to finish, the various distinctions between types and pairings seem to blur and blend and all sound the same. The reading becomes tedious.

tldr?: relationships are hard and take work to be successful; mutual effort and attention to the relationship yields the greatest chances for love and fulfillment in relationships.

[Joy Matteson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great simple beginner Enneagram book on inter-relationships within the Enneagram personality types. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who's been influenced on the Enneagram for a long time as there's multiple other better resources out there, but it would be a great those new to the Enneagram.

[Jared · Rating 3 out of 5]

The individual break downs are nice for basics of healthy to unhealthy behavior but the romantic paring (the reason I bought the book) was only 2 pages and not much detail. With healthy and unhealthy examples or tips on better ways to communicate

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and concise

The Enneagram is so multi-faceted that it can be very hard to understand. The organization and conciseness helped me understand more but may have oversimplified the topic. I will still refer to this book again.

[Robyn]

I feel weird giving this book a rating, so I’m not going to. It has some great info if you’re new to the Enneagram and type interactions, but I knew most of this info from the EnneaApp. A good starting place, if that’s what you’re looking for! Not the right fit for me.

[Brittany Ohmer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just very basic information. Got a few pieces of new information but most was things I already knew. If you have already done a lot of research on enneagram in general, and dig into your own type and that of your partner, this book won’t give you any new information.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was hoping that this would be more in depth or just more informative about each type that I didn't already know from research online.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine but very surface level. It did not get deep into underlying motivations for behaviors.

[Ellie Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The Enneagram gives us a common language to discuss challenges and insights, and acts as a guide to a closer, more fulfilling relationship.”

[Kristin Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook. A practical Enneagram book, focusing on how each number relates to other numbers, especially in love relationships. Enlightening.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

a quick read. not very insightful but mildly informative.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really well done;) I'm a 5 and my husband's an 8, and I felt like the information for both our types-- separately, and together-- sounded right.

[Meghan Austin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was okay. It had some nice information about relationships. I felt like it didn’t go into much depth.

[Tommie Ives · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gives good basic intro to the enneagram. Wish there was more on couple pairings.

[Alexandria Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun resource for enneagram enthusiasts already familiar with the framework.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

insightful for people who love the enneagram!

[Kira · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love learning about the enneagram, I think it’s the most accurate personality tests that’s also very helpful in improving your life
- My husband is a 1w9 and I am a 8w7. This had a chapter on how those two personalities work together in a partnership and I thought it was spot on!