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Why Are You Still Sending Your Kids to School?: the case for helping them leave, chart their own paths, and prepare for adulthood at their own pace
For some kids, school offers a positive and engaging experience. For others, it's a boring, stressful, and frustrating waste of time. If your child is in the second category, why keep tormenting them? Instead, why not help them find an educational environment where they feel genuinely motivated, excited, and empowered?
In this eye-opening book, Blake Boles makes the case for leaving conventional school and taking one of the many alternative paths through K-12 that exist today. He addresses parents' major concerns about unconventional education -- Can my kids still go to college? Will they still be employable? How will they learn to work hard? -- while highlighting the hidden benefits of self-directed learning, such as improved parent-child relationships, a more balanced decision-making process regarding college, and a heightened sense of autonomy and connection.
Drawing upon 15 years of work as a mentor and guide for adolescents in alternative and experiential learning environments -- as well as his own unconventional life path -- Boles weaves together narrative, theory, and research to build a powerful argument for granting children unusual levels of freedom and responsibility.
In this eye-opening book, Blake Boles makes the case for leaving conventional school and taking one of the many alternative paths through K-12 that exist today. He addresses parents' major concerns about unconventional education -- Can my kids still go to college? Will they still be employable? How will they learn to work hard? -- while highlighting the hidden benefits of self-directed learning, such as improved parent-child relationships, a more balanced decision-making process regarding college, and a heightened sense of autonomy and connection.
Drawing upon 15 years of work as a mentor and guide for adolescents in alternative and experiential learning environments -- as well as his own unconventional life path -- Boles weaves together narrative, theory, and research to build a powerful argument for granting children unusual levels of freedom and responsibility.
266 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 19, 2020
79 people are currently reading
544 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
July 25, 2020
This book felt like a soothing balm to the frustrations and impossibilities of the conventional schooling world. As a family therapist, parent, and recent "abandoner" of the conventional path, this read like a survival handbook for navigating the sometimes overwhelming universe now lying before me and countless other families currently reconsidering the conventional education model. The anecdotes are well-balanced by research, data and extensive source notes. My copy is full of highlights and notes on resources and other reading recommendations - it feels like a valuable tool.
This is not a radical, off-the-rails call to a sketchy, alternative path... but rather a sincere call for parents to honestly, deeply consider their own biases and expectations; to authentically investigate what their kids might be experiencing at the hands of a system that is deeply problematic for many - and be willing to do something different if that system proves to be harmful; to allow one's perspective as a parent to broaden and make space for the approach that our children primarily need us not as the captains of their ships, but rather as loving consultants to their unique journey.
I imagine that one day my grown sons will want to thank Blake Boles for writing just what their mother needed to read to bolster and support her instincts about how to best provide for their educational adventures.
This is not a radical, off-the-rails call to a sketchy, alternative path... but rather a sincere call for parents to honestly, deeply consider their own biases and expectations; to authentically investigate what their kids might be experiencing at the hands of a system that is deeply problematic for many - and be willing to do something different if that system proves to be harmful; to allow one's perspective as a parent to broaden and make space for the approach that our children primarily need us not as the captains of their ships, but rather as loving consultants to their unique journey.
I imagine that one day my grown sons will want to thank Blake Boles for writing just what their mother needed to read to bolster and support her instincts about how to best provide for their educational adventures.
May 29, 2020
Preaching to my education-counter-culture heart! If you’ve ever questioned conventional school on any level—especially now as we face the possibility of “school-at-home” (different from homeschool) on a national level—read this!! Boles synthesizes some of the best & most relevant thinkers on alternative education & self-directed learning & provides fabulous & practical resources.
March 14, 2021
I loved reading in this about all the cool options out there for high school-aged kids who aren't in school. So many homeschooling/unschooling websites and books and resources are geared toward young children and their parents. So it was nice to have a little bit of a vision for what homeschooling could look like for us in the future. He made some interesting arguments about the influence of your child's peer group, about building a relationship with your child instead of trying to shape their personality, and generally not stressing out so much as a parent. Also, a big point of the book was to calm fears about homeschooled/unschooled kids getting into college. In spite of the title, there was less public-school bashing (which gets old) in this book than in other unschool books I've read. I liked the author. He had some good ethos going for him.
February 6, 2021
I am unsure what I was hoping for, but this was not it. I have myself, when thinking back, come to find school insufficient, and so I was interested in books and arguments for- and against sending kids to school. This book is mostly about summer school and camps, why it is not too bad if you drop out of school, and in many ways how to find complacency in any discrepancies between you and school. I find no faults in learning most subjects taught at school, but I am worried that the current schooling scheme is not efficient. I did not find any clear answers in this book.
Also, I disapprove of the structure of the book; Boles have read a couple of other authors and pretty much rephrase their works using heavy quotation and then commenting. It felt like I should just go read the original work. And it makes for a bad presentation of arguments and clarity of the book's purpose.
Also, I disapprove of the structure of the book; Boles have read a couple of other authors and pretty much rephrase their works using heavy quotation and then commenting. It felt like I should just go read the original work. And it makes for a bad presentation of arguments and clarity of the book's purpose.
August 1, 2020
What do you do if school isn’t a good fit for your child?
The opening of Blake Boles’ new book, Why Are You Still Sending Your Kids to School? might seem a bit opportunistic given the current state of public education enacted by pandemic policies. However, not only has this book been in the works long before COVID became common vernacular (I can show you my receipt that I pre-ordered in January) but this is a topic near & dear to Boles for nearly two decades. Additionally, what the closing of local public schools has brought to light is something that many students and their parents* have been feeling for years, even decades. Conventional schooling is not the best option for every child or every family, and in some respects can be downright dangerous – mentally, physically, and educationally.
What I like best about this book is that Boles doesn’t spend a lot of time pointing out all the flaws in conventional schooling. This book’s primary audience is those who are seeking out what options might work best for their particular child and family dynamic. There are pros & cons to each and I think Boles does a fantastic job of acknowledging limitations and helping parents narrow down what might provide the best fit. He also addresses many of the misconceptions and concerns parents may have like:
*That doesn’t look like learning
*Are they happy
*Cost
*What about working parents
*How they go to college
*How they get a job
Boles provides anecdotes from current & “graduated” self-directed learners, studies, survey results, and abundant resource material. Even as a seasoned Unschooling family (our children are currently 15 & 17 and have never been to school), I still found myself gaining a new perspective on topics as well as additional confirmation that our personal observations/experiences hold true for other families. I’ve added new books to my wishlist and my highlighter is almost empty capturing the wisdom imparted. I know you’ll be seeing quotes from this book shared regularly.
What continually comes through is immense respect for children and young adults as humans worthy of respect, their identity, and ownership of their own goals.
*I use the term parents for simplicity – but please know that I acknowledge the myriad of adults that act as guardians & facilitators in young people’s lives.
** While I did receive an ARC of the ebook, I purchased the audio back in January through Kickstarter.
The opening of Blake Boles’ new book, Why Are You Still Sending Your Kids to School? might seem a bit opportunistic given the current state of public education enacted by pandemic policies. However, not only has this book been in the works long before COVID became common vernacular (I can show you my receipt that I pre-ordered in January) but this is a topic near & dear to Boles for nearly two decades. Additionally, what the closing of local public schools has brought to light is something that many students and their parents* have been feeling for years, even decades. Conventional schooling is not the best option for every child or every family, and in some respects can be downright dangerous – mentally, physically, and educationally.
What I like best about this book is that Boles doesn’t spend a lot of time pointing out all the flaws in conventional schooling. This book’s primary audience is those who are seeking out what options might work best for their particular child and family dynamic. There are pros & cons to each and I think Boles does a fantastic job of acknowledging limitations and helping parents narrow down what might provide the best fit. He also addresses many of the misconceptions and concerns parents may have like:
*That doesn’t look like learning
*Are they happy
*Cost
*What about working parents
*How they go to college
*How they get a job
Boles provides anecdotes from current & “graduated” self-directed learners, studies, survey results, and abundant resource material. Even as a seasoned Unschooling family (our children are currently 15 & 17 and have never been to school), I still found myself gaining a new perspective on topics as well as additional confirmation that our personal observations/experiences hold true for other families. I’ve added new books to my wishlist and my highlighter is almost empty capturing the wisdom imparted. I know you’ll be seeing quotes from this book shared regularly.
What continually comes through is immense respect for children and young adults as humans worthy of respect, their identity, and ownership of their own goals.
*I use the term parents for simplicity – but please know that I acknowledge the myriad of adults that act as guardians & facilitators in young people’s lives.
** While I did receive an ARC of the ebook, I purchased the audio back in January through Kickstarter.
April 25, 2024
We recently jumped into homeschooling because we are a neurodiverse family. My son was STRUGGLING, despite his intelligence, in public school. I have always been a public school advocate: it was my career for ten years. Pulling him was hard for me, and I cried. As is my nature, I immediately started researching how to make homeschool work for us. I stumbled upon this book. A lot of this speaks to my beliefs of education. I think children learn best when they drive their own curiosity and exploration. I believe children need to be outside in the dirt playing. My only issue was Boles is a lot more comfortable with kids on technology than I am, but that's a minor point. Worth reading if you are into this kind of thing.
March 28, 2022
I would give it 10 stars if I could, what an amazing book! Thank you! I just think the title is not completely descriptive of the content, it might make some people who has seen Montessori or IB schools that were worse in terms of structure and labor on kids defensive to start reading it.
July 15, 2020
A principled and thoughtful exposition and defense of alternative education (unschools, democratic schools, etc.). Combining personal experience and research in psychology and education, Blake Boles offers a hopeful view for charting a different path for our youths, one that gives them the freedom to choose, make their own mistakes, learn based on their own interests, grow and make genuine progress at their own pace. He discusses the challenges of taking this path and still "make it" in a society where the function of formal education is mostly reduced to job market signaling. He makes a compelling case, one that is made even more urgent as the threads of conventional schooling are left bare by closures and changes in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Read at your own risk!
July 4, 2020
Boles does a great job of laying out the benefits to trusting youth more, especially with less control.
The quote that stands out most to me was from referencing Alison Gopnick comparison to a carpenter vs a gardener. A carpenter has a plan to execute while a gardener tends the crops with the hope that a strong harvest will result. Just as parents we can lay a bounty but the results are our child(rens).
The quote that stands out most to me was from referencing Alison Gopnick comparison to a carpenter vs a gardener. A carpenter has a plan to execute while a gardener tends the crops with the hope that a strong harvest will result. Just as parents we can lay a bounty but the results are our child(rens).
July 1, 2020
Covid 19 changed so much in our lives. Schools failed our kids on many levels and we as parents had finally an opportunity to pause and see what our kids are learning and what is really important to them.
This book makes a case for unschooling. It is a scary idea since we have been brought up to believe in schools and their importance in kids lives. But what if kids do not need school to be successful? What if schools cause more bad than good?
If you want to get answers to those and many more similar questions grab the book.
It is an easy yet trully fascinating read.
This book makes a case for unschooling. It is a scary idea since we have been brought up to believe in schools and their importance in kids lives. But what if kids do not need school to be successful? What if schools cause more bad than good?
If you want to get answers to those and many more similar questions grab the book.
It is an easy yet trully fascinating read.
July 9, 2020
A fantastic book for parents of children of any age and walks of life! Blake has written a book that compiles well chosen research from across the spectrum and combines it with his own personal experience along with that of select kids to provide readers with a comprehensive picture of how it’s pretty much impossible to mess your kids up by letting them learn on their own. A must read!
March 31, 2022
I feel like this book essentially says to let your kids have some independence through camps and or travel activities because it can broaden the scope of what they feel is possible and spark some passion in their lives for something. I personally like that and it’s helped me to be more open to that moving forward. This had a ton of info on unschooling which is something I am not fully on board with but I am slowly implementing into my homeschool for my kids. I would say I try to be self directed as much as I can and I’m getting better at it. I think I do have a tendency to want tangible things or products to show work and I have to allow it to be more of a lesson that does not involve tangible things at times. He makes a very good argument on allowing your kids to do “nothing” and seeing where that finally leads them.
September 9, 2020
A great argument for homeschooling, but serves better as support to those who have decided to homeschool. Boles is pals with the author of the Teenage Liberation Handbook, Grace Llewellyn, and it shows.
The tone of this book flips back and forth from memoir to literature review to rant, and that’s probably its biggest detractor. The passages add up to more than the sum of the whole, and some chapters may not apply to your situation. However, the underlying argument is hard to look away from.
April 8, 2021
Why are my kids still in school?
Boles has written a very balanced review here around unconventional route for modern education. Hugely thought provoking on many levels.
Boles has written a very balanced review here around unconventional route for modern education. Hugely thought provoking on many levels.
September 21, 2021
The work mainly focuses on alternatives to K-12 education -- pros, cons, etc. Touches on the credentialing problem and the incentive structure surrounding modern education.
If your child is non-conformist or doesn't mesh well with the present-day absurdity that is K-12 education, Boles says that everything will probably be fine despite diverging from the herd.
Despite a non-traditional path, many 'unschoolers' receive high-school diplomas, typically go to college whether community at first or not and discover what they are truly interest in.
I personally am appalled at current day practices, especially as a current student, and believe that any real learning takes place during deep, individual thought.
This helped clarify some thoughts I've been having regarding modern education. Despite being targeted towards parents of younger children, I still feel like I got something out of this.
Oh, and here's a gem from JT the legend
If your child is non-conformist or doesn't mesh well with the present-day absurdity that is K-12 education, Boles says that everything will probably be fine despite diverging from the herd.
Despite a non-traditional path, many 'unschoolers' receive high-school diplomas, typically go to college whether community at first or not and discover what they are truly interest in.
I personally am appalled at current day practices, especially as a current student, and believe that any real learning takes place during deep, individual thought.
This helped clarify some thoughts I've been having regarding modern education. Despite being targeted towards parents of younger children, I still feel like I got something out of this.
Oh, and here's a gem from JT the legend
Whatever an education is, it should make you a unique individual, not a conformist; it should furnish you with an original spirit with which to tackle the big challenges; it should allow you to find values which will be your roadmap through life; it should make you spiritually rich, a person who loves whatever you are doing, wherever you are, whomever you are with; it should teach you what is important, how to live and how to die. - John Taylor Gatto
February 23, 2025
A book about how to prepare kids for reality
I’m not the target audience here because I don’t have kids and I kind of loved the traditional school/university experience. Still, there’s a ton of food for thought here. The world doesn’t work the way that it used to, and traditional institutions across the board are breaking down and outliving their usefulness for a lot of people. To me, the key contribution here is the book’s thoughtfulness about what kids actually need to accomplish in order to become healthy adults in our weird modern world. It’s not an anti-school book, it’s pro-kid in a way that’s thoroughly interesting, even for a non-parent.
I’m not the target audience here because I don’t have kids and I kind of loved the traditional school/university experience. Still, there’s a ton of food for thought here. The world doesn’t work the way that it used to, and traditional institutions across the board are breaking down and outliving their usefulness for a lot of people. To me, the key contribution here is the book’s thoughtfulness about what kids actually need to accomplish in order to become healthy adults in our weird modern world. It’s not an anti-school book, it’s pro-kid in a way that’s thoroughly interesting, even for a non-parent.
October 24, 2021
I admire the author’s mission to put his biases on the table throughout this book—some homeschooling advocates are as rigid in their ideas as those who believe traditional schooling is the only good option, but not this author. He wrote about a variety of non-traditional schooling options and also gave credit to traditional schooling as a viable path for some children. His perspective is fair. I was on the fence before about whether or not to homeschool, but am now leaning more towards homeschooling after reading this, considering my child’s individual needs.
July 5, 2021
Loved this. One chapter in particular was really good--he makes the case for video games for education and his is honestly the only argument I have heard in favor that is comprehensible and reasonable. He makes several good points especially in regards to homeschooling teens. I also really enjoyed the case he made for unschooling.
Definitely worth the read if you are interested in homeschooling teenagers preparing them for college.
Definitely worth the read if you are interested in homeschooling teenagers preparing them for college.
December 16, 2021
This book is cool, he seems like a bigger fan of unschooling than I think I would be, though he provides some compelling examples of unschooling "curriculum". I read about the Village home in Oregon which I hadn't heard of before, and he lays out the steps of starting your kids on homeschooling pretty well, and also has straight forward bullet points to detail many different ways you can get your child ready for college. Pretty cool book.
January 6, 2022
great overview of alternative schooling
Loved reading this book. Not too long but great for beginners and not necessarily anti-school but more PRO-choices and choosing what’s best for your student.
Loved reading this book. Not too long but great for beginners and not necessarily anti-school but more PRO-choices and choosing what’s best for your student.
April 20, 2022
3.5 stars. I believe that unconventional education is an amazing option for many kids, but unschooling is too extremist for me. The author makes some amazing points and has probably influenced me to give up even more control, but I think a moderate approach to alternate education is more appropriate for most kids.
December 13, 2021
Definitely challenged even my progressive take on education, but in a good way!
Skip the parenting chapter though.. He has no expertise in this area or children of his own, and it shows.
Skip the parenting chapter though.. He has no expertise in this area or children of his own, and it shows.
January 14, 2022
A great, easy read about the value of education outside the walls of a public school.
August 26, 2023
Practical and well-researched. A pivotal read in my education philosophy research.
September 13, 2023
Great book on homeschooling
January 29, 2025
Thoroughly researched, interesting and well written! I really enjoyed this book. Thought provoking, practical and inspiring!
February 12, 2025
This was a pretty quick audio listen. However, it didn't resonate with me as much as "The 5-Hour School Week." Yet he still brought up some good points that I'm pondering.
December 5, 2021
Great points and amazing list references and ideas.
1-3 chapters are mostly an intro to convince people about the idea of homeschooling.
Interesting background about the origin of schooling. It's way to US based, however the author talks about it if it's the same everywhere in the world. I've studied in different countries, continents too, and we can't generalise how schools, schooling and circumstances of studying.
I find these chapters very generic, with anecdotal evidence and ignores the environment kids are brought up as a key influence.
From chapter 4 starts to become more interesting as he resumes a few theories / books he read.
Yet, I find that the arguments are set without showing that the "opposite" isn't true.
1-3 chapters are mostly an intro to convince people about the idea of homeschooling.
Interesting background about the origin of schooling. It's way to US based, however the author talks about it if it's the same everywhere in the world. I've studied in different countries, continents too, and we can't generalise how schools, schooling and circumstances of studying.
I find these chapters very generic, with anecdotal evidence and ignores the environment kids are brought up as a key influence.
From chapter 4 starts to become more interesting as he resumes a few theories / books he read.
Yet, I find that the arguments are set without showing that the "opposite" isn't true.
February 18, 2025
A challenging read for the status quo. If the conventional path has lost its luster, I highly recommend this book to enlighten you to other options.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews