I Have Something to Tell You

by Chasten Glezman Buttigieg

A moving, hopeful, and refreshingly candid memoir by the husband of former Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg about growing up gay in his small Midwestern town, his relationship with Pete, and his hope for America's future."I Have Something to Tell You is an inspiring story about Chasten's journey of self discovery.  On the campaign trail, I saw the power of his voice to help reshape the political climate of America. While recounting his moments coming to terms with his true self, he inspires others to do the same. This must-read memoir is a refreshing voice that gives hope to a new generation of political leaders." - Dr. Jill BidenThroughout the past year, teacher Chasten Glezman Buttigieg has emerged on the national stage, having left his classroom in South Bend, Indiana, to travel cross-country in support of his husband, former mayor Pete Buttigieg, and Pete's groundbreaking presidential campaign. Through Chasten's joyful, witty social media posts, the public gained a behind-the-scenes look at his life with Pete on the trail--moments that might have ranged from the mundane to the surprising, but that were always heartfelt.Chasten has overcome a multitude of obstacles to get here. In this moving, uplifting memoir, he recounts his journey to finding acceptance as a gay man. He recalls his upbringing in rural Michigan, where he knew he was different, where indeed he felt different from his father and brothers. He recounts his coming out and how he's healed from revealing his secret to his family, friends, community, and the world. And he tells the story of meeting his boyfriend, whom he would marry and who would eventually become a major Democratic leader.With unflinching honesty, unflappable courage, and great warmth, Chasten Buttigieg relays his experience of growing up in America and embracing his true self, while inspiring others to do the same.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT, Politics, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

255 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 2020

About the author

Chasten Glezman Buttigieg grew up in Traverse City, Michigan. He is a teacher, advocate, and husband of former presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg. Chasten currently lives with Pete; their two children, Gus and Penelope; and their two rescue dogs, Buddy and Truman, in Northern Michigan. I Have Something to Tell You—For Young Adults is his second book.

Reviews

[Larry H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chasten Buttigieg's I Have Something to Tell You is a warm, engaging, and emotional memoir I really connected with.

Even before the 2020 campaign season officially kicked off, I was a huge fan of Pete Buttigieg, the then-mayor of South Bend, Indiana. I appreciated his immense intelligence and thoughtfulness, and really believed in his desire to bring this country together. I knew his candidacy was a long shot, but I still cried when it ended just before I’d have had the chance to vote for him in the primary.

Of course, never would I have imagined when I was growing up (or even well into my adulthood, TBH) that an openly gay man would be a credible candidate for president and that he would campaign with his husband at his side. I so enjoyed watching Chasten become such a visible part of the campaign—you could feel his warmth and empathy, as well as his love for his husband—and following him on social media, I got glimpses of his humor, his heart, and his occasional wonder at all that was happening.

All of those qualities make Chasten’s memoir so enjoyable. He’s tremendously self-deprecating and doesn’t take himself too seriously, and he’s more than happy to admit the missteps he’s taken in his life. But while we grew up in different areas of the country and he’s nearly 20(!) years younger than me, I really related to his story in so many ways.

In addition to talking about his relationship with Pete and what he learned from campaigning, Chasten shares what it was like to grow up feeling you have to hide your real self, the fear of coming out to those you love and worrying they’ll disown you, the struggles of finding someone to love you for who you are, not take advantage of you. He recognizes how fortunate he is, because many LGBTQIA+ people are shunned by family and friends, and are victims of violence and discrimination. He discusses his struggles with self-esteem, debt, and uncertainty about his future.

I so enjoyed learning more about Chasten and his experiences and thoughts. While only the future will know whether someday he might become the First Gentleman, I believe we’ll be lucky to have his contributions whatever form they take.

Check out my list of the best books I read in 2019 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2019.html.

Check out my list of the best books of the decade at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/my-favorite-books-of-decade.html.

See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.

Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chasten Glezman Buttigieg is simply an adorable- genuine, open, sensitive, guy.
He is so darn sweet and lovable ....he must brighten ‘everyone’s' spirit he comes into contact with. He sure did mine.

I loved listening to Chasten’s memoir. ( the audiobook)
We learn a lot about his LIFE!!!!!

Anyone who has ever been to Traverse City, in Michigan.... knows it’s not exactly the LGBTQ Capital of world. It’s the Cherry Capital of the world.....one of the most beautiful cities I’ve visited in the U.S.
...We learn about Chasten’s relationship with Traverse City...
...his family,
...his insecurities...
...his growth, his own pride...
...his ‘coming out’....
...dating....
...school and medical debts
...meeting Pete....
...Chasten’s & Pete’s life together....
...the campaign year....
and
...Chasten’s and Pete’s love: for each other and their commitment goodness in the world.

We learn about what it might have felt like to be the first gay ‘first man’ candidate for President.
Chasten became a very noticeable figure - next to Pete- as a viable politician spouse during the campaign.

Baring his soul — I couldn’t stop listening to Chasten read his own book.
He gets my vote for the most lovable guy-of-the-year award.

This book is a well written - told with humor - warmth and raw honestly.
It’s intimate and personal!!
Very refreshing to read about somebody soooo normal!!!!

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, so first off: I was a massive Pete supporter during the primaries. I serendipitously discovered him through a retweet about two weeks before he launched his exploratory committee in January of 2019, and I was immediately on board that day. I met Pete a couple weeks later on his book tour, and I was sold. I fundraised, I donated, I spammed by social media feeds, I went to rallies, I bought merch (and felt like the most popular kid in Provincetown the day I wore my Pete shirt, fielding cheers and back pats and nods and conversations). I loved Pete (still do), and I loved Chasten, by extension (still do).

But all of that is to say, I was always going to love this. But I LOVED this. Chasten has a warm, funny, authentic voice, and the stories he tells here reflect that. From the humble but kind beginnings on a farm in Michigan to the terrifying path between coming out and getting married and discovering his passion for teaching, it's like reading a friend's words. I felt so deeply for Chasten. Then once we get the story of his chance meeting with Pete, their courtship, and the explosion of both Chasten and his husband then being scrutinized (and criticized) on the national stage, we've built a kind of rapport with the book, making it all feel so intense and honest.

I don't know really how to explain, but I truly felt every word of this memoir. I felt Chasten's terror, his joy, his fear, his exhaustion, his protectiveness. Because at its heart, this memoir is a love story. It's a love story of Chasten's family; of his struggles, all of which led him to where he is now; of his husband; of his country; of the LGBTQ+ community; and of himself, the most important love story of all, and one that maybe he arrived at least expectedly.

Of course, it's also fun for behind-the-scenes stories about Pete (I'm sad this memoir wasn't titled Eat the F*cking Nuts: A Memoir), about the trail, about the formation and heartbreaking dissolution of the campaign, and about what it's like to be in the spotlight when you didn't anticipate or ask for it. It also has some great insight into the political news cycle and into how stories and information (and, more importantly, misinformation) is spread.

This review is a mess, but whatever. Bottom line is I loved this: it's fun, funny, heartwarming, sad, and sweet.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I get to be lucky enough to know Chasten in real life– and let me tell you, this book is HIM. These words are HIS. I loved reading my friend’s story, and seeing laid out so evidently the many reasons that the world loves him as much as we do. For only being 31, his story is vast and varied, an inspiration not just to young LGBT individuals everywhere, but anyone working to become who they are. He is vulnerable and open, allowing a peek at where he came from, the fascinating behind-the-scenes story of both supporting his husband’s political rise as well as his own journey to becoming an unintentional public figure. I’m so proud of my friend, and thrilled that the world gets to know him now the way we do behind the scenes. Put this at the top of your list and give it a big hug at the end (I know I did).

Thanks to Chast himself for the ARC, but I’m sure Atria had something to do with it, too. :)

[Melissa Laidman · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, full disclosure I have just adored Chasten and Pete and have been following them since early 2019, so I was SO excited to get the ARC! It did not disappoint. Chasten is even more “real” than I thought. I loved his stories of growing up and trying to fit in, and then his struggles through school and starting out as an adult. It echos so much of what people in our generation all face. And of course I loved his description of meeting and dating Pete!! I was actually surprised with his description of the campaign, as he said he didn’t know what he was doing, but he always came off as so naturally charismatic to me! This book was honest, touching and hilarious. I loved all of it! I just want to read more about Pete and Chasten now. More books please!

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not super into politics, but I did read this memoir.

"I just wanted someone to eat my casseroles!"

I was Elizabeth Warren most of the way in the last primary but was glad to see Mayor Pete out there campaigning. His husband Chasten, in his memoir, writes some about the campaign from his perspective but also about his own life - a Midwestern childhood, becoming a teacher, etc. How do you go from a new marriage to supporting your spouse in a presidential bid? What comes through most is a very loving relationship, balanced by each of their strengths. I hope they get to start a family before the next big push (because Chasten talks about wanting to.)

A few fun quotes:

"Peter sprang into action, or his version of action, which is to say he went to his computer and opened a blank spreadsheet."

"Though we’re very different people in some ways, we both have the same approach to each other’s problems: “I love you. How can I help?”"

"When folks would ask, “Just what prepared you for this?” I’d always joke that teaching middle school was the perfect preparation for a life in politics. Emotions are high; compromise is a crucial aspect of daily life. The biggest hurdle is trying to separate yourself from the drama in front of you in order to see the big picture. "

[Stuart Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will make you root for love

[Ulysses Dietz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Have Something to Tell You, a memoir
By Chasten Buttigieg
Atria Books, 2020
Five stars

“Because the fact is, my story isn’t rare. In fact, it’s pretty common.”

The first thing that strikes me is that Chasten Glezman Buttigieg is thirty-one. He could be my son, as could his more famous husband Pete. The second thing that strikes me is that Chasten’s story is painfully similar to the stories of my generation’s struggle to come out and find self-acceptance. It shouldn’t be similar, my mind tells me, because my husband and I have spent our forty-five years together fighting for Gay Rights, then Lesbian and Gay Rights, finally LGTBQ Rights, so that boys like Chasten and Pete wouldn’t have to struggle the way we did. Well, clearly that didn’t go as we planned, did it? The fact that Chasten’s story is both common and painfully familiar is a measure of how far we have to go for ‘liberty and justice for all’ in this country. A long way.

There is a fresh lack of affectation in Chasten’s story. He is not a complicated guy, which is part of why his story is important. He is just a regular, working class kid from fly-over territory, who struggled with his self-identity in a place where he felt completely alone and unsupported. He discovered, as many gay kids in conservative settings do, that there was more support than he thought—but how do you know that before you try?—and how terrifying is the fear of rejection and failure before you know what will happen? Oh, I remember that, all too well, and I’d been out for nearly twenty years when Chasten was born in Traverse City, Michigan.

Chasten Buttigieg is blessed with a clear voice and a good sense of humor. There is very little whining, because he knows that, in some very important ways, he’s been lucky. I mean, he met Pete Buttigieg, after all. This is not just a touching personal memoir, but also an insider’s peek at what it is to be a politician’s significant other. It is not a place I would ever want to be, but for all the stumbling he did in his life (I mean, jeez, he and Pete met when he was 25 or 26) Chasten seems to have his head on straight (as it were) and a clear-eyed view of the world—at last.

It doesn’t matter if we never hear from Chasten and Pete again—although I hope we do. I pray we do, because I think they represent the kind of hope this country needs. This is a book worth reading because it is a story that is true and specific and honest. In a country seething with what Robert Putnam has called “metastasizing self-centeredness,” Chasten Buttigieg’s memoir is a rebel yell of compassion and generosity.

After finishing this, I realized I need to read Chasten’s husband Pete’s memoir,” Shortest Way Home,” if I want to get the full story. It’s on my kindle now. I’ll be back with that review before too long.

[Debbie Zapata · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dec 29, 2020 ~~ 1031pm, Review asap.

Dec 30, 2020 ~~ Impressive for its honest tone and the easy-to-read style, this book relates Chasten's life from his early years through the 2020 presidential campaign. Just in case you do not know who Chasten is, his husband Pete Buttigieg, aka Mayor Pete, was one of the many Democratic candidates during the primaries this year.

I have to confess that while I found the book moving and inspiring, I had more inner monologues while reading than I expected to have.

For one thing, Chasten is quite fond of parentheses. I am guilty of that a lot myself, come to think of it, but in a review (or a personal letter) a few phrases here and there tucked into parentheses seems reasonable. I began to get distracted by them in the book very quickly, but at least I resisted the urge to count them all. Maybe it was just early author's nerves, because farther along in the book they seemed more like a few trees instead of a forest.

I admit that this next tiny gripe is probably more from my age than anything else, but I was still surprised at how immature Chasten seemed in his college years. I understand that he said he was raised in an atmosphere where he was expected to stay right where he was his entire life and so on, but I did wonder how many other young people today are so hopelessly unprepared for Life In The Real World as Chasten was. Being gay has nothing to do with this aspect of life. There are basic details that every young person should understand and be able to cope with before they leave the nest. Sorry, I know this feels like one of those 'I walked uphill barefoot in the snow five miles every day to get to school' type of details, but I was still shocked at the basic ignorance of the man at that phase in his life, and the trouble that got him into with debt and so many other things. If this is a normal way to raise children since I left the nest at age 18, I think it is very sad.

I loved the story of how the author met Pete, and wasn't it wonderful how they knew right away that they were Meant To Be. There is something so happily satisfying in reading about a couple finding each other and fulfilling their destiny. Congratulations for that, I know it made up for much pain in the past.

I also had a couple of womanly reactions to the later part of the book, which dealt with the campaign for president. Chasten worried about having to give up so much of himself to The Campaign, even while he wanted to help Pete and be an asset rather than a liability. But how to do that without losing Himself in the process?

All I could think was 'Welcome To Woman's World, Dude'. We have been dealing with the very same issues and expectations for hundreds of years, haven't we. And look, it is not easy, is it?!

One more silly gripe, and I am still not sure why this bothered me, but it did. Chasten was honest about not being thrilled about the campaign, not wanting to share Pete with anyone yet, and how hard the whole process was for him even after he adapted to it a little better. This is all easy to comprehend, and this book lets the everyday reader see just how truly crazy running for president can be.

But quite often Chasten says 'we' instead of 'Peter' when talking about the campaign. As in 'we were running for president'. Now I know that any spouse is considered a surrogate and a vital part of any campaign, but the spouse is not running for president, the candidate is. See, I told you it was silly, and yet every time Chasten did this, I was bothered by it. I suppose there are deep dark issues down inside my psyche that created the uneasiness I felt over this. Maybe one of these days I will drag it out and examine it closer.

But meanwhile, congratulations to both Chasten and Pete Buttigieg for the difference they made in our lives this year and the difference they may make in the world in the future. And remember, Chasten, whatever good things come your way, you do deserve them!!

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be honest, I didn't know much about Chasten Buttigieg before picking up this book other than, obviously, that he is Pete Buttigieg's husband. But I really like Pete Buttigieg, and so when I saw this while randomly browsing my library offerings, I placed a hold on it. Then it came in yesterday, and I inhaled it.

I, again, obviously, knew that Chasten would find his way to Pete, but man, the journey getting there was so nervewracking for me! I just wanted to reach through the book, and through time, and hold his hand and be a support to him when he was so anxious and scared about coming out, and dealing with his fears of familial rejection and his internalized homophobia - things that made him feel that he was broken and unloveable. I kept reminding myself that his story - at least so far - has a happy now. He found love, family, acceptance, meaning, and a way to give back support to those in need of it now.

I NEEDED this book right now. We are in the midst of a political campaign season that has my anxiety through the roof. The Republican candidate for Governor in my state, which will be decided in November, bussed people to the January 6th insurrection, wants to ban all abortion, purge 100% of registered voters off the rolls and make everyone re-register... with his hand-picked Secretary of State determining eligibility, of course. Despite the fact that this is illegal, he's campaigning on it. Who's up for a little voter disenfranchisement?? The Republican Senate candidate, also up in November, is a TV "celebrity" quack snake oil salesman who lives in, and is still registered to vote in, New Jersey. I live in Pennsylvania.

With the looming overturning of Roe v Wade, and all of the privacy precedents that will fall with it, this election is critical, and so it was really nice to listen to this book, and feel like there are some people who really just want to be forces of good in this world. I really like Pete Buttigieg, and though I didn't officially support him in his bid for President in 2020 (I rallied my resources behind more likely and better known at the time candidates) I was rooting for him to do well, and was sorry when he didn't. I am happy that he has a cabinet position in the Biden administration, and love listening to him give interviews... on ANY topic.

That being said, this is Chasten's book, and Chasten's memoir, and as such, I can say that I now adore him just as much as Pete clearly does. He is sweet, and honest, and funny, and if I wasn't aching for the struggle he had in finding himself, I was beaming at who he found when he did.

Definitely recommend. This is such an uplifting and charming memoir. I loved every minute of it.

[Sahitya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chasten was one of the few candidate spouses I loved following on social media through the campaign trail because there is genuine warmth in his words and he just seemed very normal. And that persona truly comes across in his memoir, especially while listening to him narrate his story. While he makes it seem a lot of fun to listen to, there is also a lot of pain that comes across especially when he is talking about his teenage years, grappling with his sexuality while living in an environment that seemed very antagonistic to his existence. But his meeting Mayor Pete and the story leading upto their marriage is really sweet, but very much contrasting to what happens next during the campaign. I liked his insights into how it all works because it feels like the account is coming from someone normal and outside of the political milieu, just like us everyday citizens and it was a fascinating insight. And I’m sure it can’t be easy for anyone to go from being a middle school teacher to getting death threats in the mail.

Overall, this was a very heartfelt look into his life until now, all the sad and happy parts put together, and I enjoyed getting to know him better. And I can only wish good luck for their future.

[Tinichix (nicole) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I for sure am not the first to say this but "I Have Something to Tell YOU!" It's ... "Chasten Buttigieg has done it!" I listened to this on audio, and once again I am purchasing a physical copy to have also. I carried my phone around the house with me from room to room listening to this. Even if I could only catch two minutes while brushing my teeth I did. There is something really special about memoirs and the author being so vulnerable and letting us into the most personal parts of not only their lives, but their hearts and minds. I am so glad the audio was released at the same time so I could get to it even sooner. I couldn't wait.

This is just one of those reviews, where I don't feel I can do it justice. Nothing I say will be able to encompass all that this book made me feel and all that it incorporates. If you aren't familiar with Chasten Buttigieg, he is the husband of former presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg. He is an author now, a husband, son, teacher, and the list goes on. He is classy and courageous, and I got all the feels from this book. You don't have to know or follow politics to enjoy this, while it includes his marriage and election topics, it includes so much more. Chasten grew up in Northern Michigan near where my own mother lives and to hear him reference places I was so familiar with was very neat. The book includes his experience on "coming out" and becoming an adult on his own. It includes him making career choices, relationship choices, financial choices, life choices. It is honest and realistic, and parts of it are very hard to hear. There were also parts that made me laugh and smile and have some hope.

I really enjoyed this and could have easily listened to another couple hours, I was kind of bummed when I was done with it. If you read the synopsis and it peeks your interest and you enjoy memoirs I would encourage you to pick this one up!

[Gustaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to review a non fiction, but I enjoyed this one very much.

[Leona · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting autobiographical account of growing up gay in a midwestern American town. This is a complex, yet heartfelt and compelling read. I enjoyed getting to know Chasten and of course, Pete Buttigieg.

I loved listening to Pete on the campaign trail. He was always authentic, compassionate and not afraid to tackle the most difficult questions. They make a stellar team!

[Avid · Rating 5 out of 5]

I doubt that “sweet” and “adorable” were the summary adjectives you were going for, chasten, but you hit them anyway. Among many others, which i’m sure you’ll see over and over in other reviews. I’m not gonna gush (but i could...)

I just loved listening to this on audio. The writing is honest and introspective, with a good balance between recognizing legitimate growth and being humble and grateful. The early years really struck me, both from a parent’s perspective (no matter how hard we try, we can’t succeed at making our kids be or think exactly what we want them to be/think), and from a former teen’s perspective (why does becoming who we are have to be so dang hard?).

I can easily recommend this to anyone who has ever been a parent or a teenager. And i really hope pete takes another shot at the presidency some day. He and chasten are exactly right for our country.

[Frank Almaraz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this book. I was sure I'd enjoy it, but that was about it. I absolutely love this book. It is so honest, funny, touching, and endearing. ❤️

[Aussie54 · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was fascinating watching Pete Buttigieg’s Presidential campaign, while discovering along the way his secret weapon, his husband Chasten. Chasten emerged in his own right as an empathetic, caring, valued member of the team. In his memoir he shares details of his time on the campaign trail, as well as relating stories of his upbringing, his feelings of not belonging, and how he met the man who helped change it all.

His memoir is very easy to read, but there are moments that must’ve been hard to share. By doing so, he’s aiming to help other young people who may be going through similar experiences. But this memoir can be read by anyone who enjoys a positive outcome from a not so promising beginning.

Chasten’s bright and bubbly personality shines through. He and Pete appear to be perfect for each other, as I discovered after reading Pete’s book, where the highlight for me was reading about him meeting Chasten. Now we get Chasten’s perspective, and get to know him as his own man, rather than “the candidate’s spouse”. He has so much to offer, and I hope we get to see much more of him in the future.

[Nev · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve kinda recently discovered that I really like reading about the behind the scenes of political campaigns. So I was interested to read Chasten Buttigieg’s book to hear his experiences of being on the campaign trail while his husband Pete was running for President. He has a bit of a different perspective since he’s not a politician himself and only ended up in this position through his relationship.

In addition to the information about the campaign there is more about his relationship with Pete. I did read Pete’s first book, Shortest Way Home: One Mayor's Challenge and a Model for America's Future, which at times felt more like a glorified resume than an actual memoir. So I really enjoyed how Chasten’s book was much more forthcoming with personal stories about growing up in a conservative small town, coming out, struggles with dating, and student/medical debt. While the book does touch on a lot of heavier topics there’s also a good deal of humor sprinkled throughout.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Very funny and warm, and profound in many ways. He uses a lot of humor to talk about very serious topics all while making the book come across as a conversation. I tend to have a difficult time reading/listening to nonfiction, but this was really a great listen. Engaging, intriguing, and something I could put on and actually enjoy listening to without my mind wandering.

His discussions about student loan debt really spoke to me, as well as his views on politics in general. I hope to see more of Chasten and Peter Buttigieg in the future, especially in the political arena. They actually seem like REAL people who actually want to serve others, not perfectly groomed examples of politicians who just want power. I think the country is way overdue for leaders who want to serve instead of one's who just want to exploit others for their own gain.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure I want to be his best friend.

[Megan Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up in Traverse City, where the author is from, I picked up this book and was so glad I did: clever, funny, heartfelt and breezed right through it! So good. It has two parts: authentic and vulnerable coming-of-age memoir plus a behind-the-scenes view of a political campaign. Highly recommend.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

If this book were an update by Pete Buttigieg of his memoir Shortest Way Home: One Mayor's Challenge and a Model for America's Future, the climax would likely be the night Pete won the Iowa caucus, or perhaps the moment after the South Carolina primary when he decided that, for the good of the party and the country, it was time for him to drop out and endorse the emerging frontrunner. But this isn't Pete's book, it's Chasten Buttigieg's, and Chasten is very much his own person with his own important story to tell.

Chasten is a Midwestern kid, the youngest child of a rock-solid Catholic marriage. Growing up the third boy in a conservative, blue-collar Michigan family, he helps with his father's small landscaping business, fishes, and raises prize-winning steers in 4-H. As he begins to realize he's gay, the homophobic remarks and bullying he experiences convinces him he's "broken," and Chasten wants nothing more than to fit in. Though he's not at all political, he even puts a George W. Bush sticker on his car because in his "sea of whiteness" that feels like a good way to conform. He's a homebody, a rule-follower who gets good grades and never breaks curfew, a good son who loves his parents and longs to have a family of his own. When he comes out to his parents at 18, he drives himself out of their home and onto the street because he's convinced his authentic self can only be a disappointment and a liability.

And Chasten continues to feel like a disappointment through much of his twenties. A first-generation college student, he has no one to mentor him on how expensive higher education can be. Despite taking job after job to pay the bills, he can't make ends meet. He falls deeply into debt and struggles to get his degree. A hospitalization adds to the problem. As his financial difficulties mushroom, he also has trouble navigating the dating scene, including a sexual assault that shakes his trust in others and his faith in his own worth. He's pushed around, ghosted and dumped, just trying to find someone who wants the same thing he does: a relationship that's committed, affirming, mutually supportive. Though Chasten is a good-looking, funny, warm-hearted people-person, every bill and every rejection chips away at his already shaky self-esteem. He keeps picking up the pieces and putting on a brave face, but inside he's feeling less and less like he'll ever belong.

Which brings me to the real climax of Chasten's book: not his eventual celebrity or his involvement in a national Presidential campaign, but the moment when, after finally meeting Mr. Right, after falling really and truly in love with a Wunderkind who promises the combination of stability and possibility that Chasten longs for, he can't conceal his vulnerability any more. He has no choice but to confess that he's been hiding letters from collection agencies and a massive, six-figure debt. He's tearful, he's terrified, and he's certain he's due for the ultimate judgmental brush-off.

Which is why the tear-jerking climax of this wonderful, refreshingly honest memoir can be summed up in one word: spreadsheets.

If you're gay or love someone who is, if you're struggling, if you're a Millennial who thinks no one understands what you've been going through, if you're a Boomer who wants to understand Millennials, if you wonder if you'll ever belong, or if you're just someone who enjoys a great read, this debut book is for you. Highly, highly recommended.

[Philip · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a sincere, joyous, thoughtful memoir from the man who dared to imagine a place in US Presidential history for LGBTQ folk. And I'm not talking about James Buchanan. I joked after starting this audiobook to colleagues that it was a bit too Mayberry, but after listening to the entire book, I realize Chasten's view of the world originates from a place of a simple, happy childhood. He also shared his trauma and dark times. I too grew up in an idyllic home, and yet as I grew and came into my identity as a gay man, realized I had to help my family grow too. Chasten's book is a true testament to the power of every day people who change their own lives and then go out and change the world, in small and sometimes very large ways. I teared up several times throughout the book and am proud of Chasten and Pete in a very paternal way. They are good people, smart people, intelligent people, and they are our future.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoy political (or politics-adjacent) memoirs. I really enjoy lgbt+ coming-of-age stories. And I really, really enjoy Montessori educators.

But this? This I did not enjoy.

Pete Buttigieg's wisdom and eloquence are not quite matched by the simplistic narrative and clunky writing his partner demonstrates here. Remember how our teachers told us to show instead of tell? Chasten repeatedly assures the reader that he's funny, rather than offering wit.

If you're curious about the other Buttigieg, I'd recommend skipping this read and just following him on instagram instead. You might learn more and might like him better, too.

[RobV · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though I'm European, I followed this year's Democratic primary with great interest and was very impressed by Pete Buttigieg, easily the most visionary and progressive in the race. This book seemed like a great opportunity to learn more about him and his husband Chasten, and get the most detailed behind-the-scenes look at the extraordinary campaign they ran.

Chasten did not disappoint. I was struck by how compelling his own story was, even before he met Pete. He writes beautifully and is very good at getting you to empathize with him. His life has not been easy, and the campaign wasn't easy, but he focuses on how the experiences shaped him or what he learned from them, rather than dwell on the negativity. It makes for a narrative that is both an emotional roller coaster yet also uplifting.

His story with Pete takes up about 60% of the book, so readers who don't care as much about Chasten's background still have plenty to get into. Those who were disappointed that Pete's excellent memoir Shortest Way Home was more about his relationship with his city than with his husband should find this a far more satisfying read. Chasten makes it very obvious how much he loves Pete, but also how much Pete loves him in return. They're one of those couples that just fit together perfectly.

While Buttigieg fans and LGBTQ people will no doubt get the most out of this memoir, I can easily recommend this to anyone.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Chasten did about as good a job as anyone could have to give the reader an overview of his life up through the presidential campaign. He balances the material quite well into a beginning section, which is his story entirely, with Pete appearing roughly halfway through the book. He manages to successfully transition through their early days together for the story of the national campaign where the couple is thrust front-and-center into international celebrity status. Towards the very end of the story, I felt he was a bit more... politically passionate (shall way say), but he had earned it.

He tries to respect Pete's privacy as much as possible (it's Chasten's book after all), but I could tell right away that Pete was totally smitten with love-at-first-sight. Interesting that just as I finished the book, it was announced Pete would get a cabinet position in the new administration! I am pleased that it's not one of the high-profile, "always on" departments, such as State, since Chasten made it clear in the book that he needs time alone with Pete on a regular, fairly uninterrupted, basis.

Narrating his own audio version worked well here I believe, especially since he has a background in theater. Definitely recommended!

[Nathalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I finished this in one sitting. I’m a fan of both Pete and Chasten and was looking forward to reading it, though I’m not much of a memoir person, typically.

It’s a quick read, and also just a really endearing and emotional one. I think Chasten is a great writer - we couldn’t come from more different backgrounds on paper, but the way he described the details of his childhood in Michigan, his love for his parents, how he struggled with his own identity, the pain he went through in his relationships - it felt like he was speaking directly to young me. I was pretty much in tears within the first few chapters all the while breaking out into laughter because he’s also just really funny.

By the time you get to the Pete/presidential campaign stuff, you’re already really engrossed in his story and all that he’s been through. What a whirlwind of a life - and he’s still so young.

This is a really worthwhile read and I’d encourage anyone looking for a touching and unique story to pick it up. It’s also really interesting to see another side of a presidential campaign/candidate if you’re into politics (though I found Chasten’s personal story to be the best part - which surprised me).

[Jessica Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written in a conversational style, reading this felt like reading a letter from a close friend. Chasten takes us through his life growing up in Michigan, realizing he was different, and trying to accept himself while navigating a confusing and painful world of adolescence. He shares his journey of trying to achieving his goal of graduating college, accumulating a mountain of debt, and all the woes of dating. The reader walks with Chasten and Pete on their first date, follows their budding romance and eventually marriage, and is then swept away by the hurried pace of campaign life. "I Have Something To Tell You" is touching, heartbreaking, funny, and poignant and the stories will keep you engaged from start to end. For anyone who has wanted to hear Chasten's story, in his own words, pull up a chair... He has something to tell you.

[Caipi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I greatly enjoyed reading/listening to this touching personal memoir. It felt very honest and straightforward to me, was sometimes heartbreaking and sometimes funny. It's written in a conversational style that made it a pleasant reading.
For me as an European it was not "only" the story of a political spouse but with this excellent book I also got a very interesting and detailed view of an American upbringing and the American culture.

4.5 stars

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest. Refreshing. Unpretentious. Humorous at times, and Chasten knows and admits to the sort of corny stuff. Definitely a fish-out-of-water story as this teacher/regular person on the street with debts and doubts finds himself in a political campaign. And on the final page, he writes, "...some things will never go back to normal, though, and while that can be uncomfortable, it's also exciting." So true, so basic, and very inspirational. Chasten is the kind of person I'd like to have as a neighbor: smart, kind, down to earth and you just know he'd be there for you in an emergency.

[Jennyokamoto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the opportunity to meet Chasten on the campaign trail while his husband was running in the Presidential Primary and was touched by his compassion and honestly. This book is relatable to anyone who when through those challenging years of finding ones place. Halfway through the book and I am not disappointed. I am so thankful Chasten is sharing his story with the world.