Our existence is fragile. I learned that in many intricate ways, so I do not take today for granted. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not even know if tomorrow will come.
On the eve of Thanksgiving 2016, I received the diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer. Next to dying, I fear the spread of cancer to my brain and losing my ability to think, speak, or write. This loss would be devastating to me.
The fragility of our life made me want to be authentic. Therefore, I am writing this memoir to be authentic—we become our true selves when we author who we are.
I am afraid of being forgotten. Death does frighten me. But more than dying, I am scared of having no one remember me or, even worse, of being recognized differently from who I was. At the same time, I have never thought that I was entitled to ask others not to forget me. But, not to be forgotten is precisely what I yearn for.
While I am writing for the other, I am simultaneously writing for myself. I am one of the readers and will test the subject as it gets written. My criteria are stricter. I want to say, “This is my narrative.”
It's true we do not know what tomorrow lies ahead for us. I'm thankful that I have family that will remember me. I don't need to be remembered by anyone else. But this book is one man's memoir (with a lot of his history having been born in Syria) that has cancer and wants to be remembered for being authentic to himself. Having said that I think we all should reach a time in our life that being your authentic self counts highly. This author also delves into Covid 19 and how it has changed our lives not necessarily for the worst.
This is the autobiography of Al Ackhar, a Syrian who came to the United States to complete his medical training and stayed here. Being Authentic is not Al Ackhar’s first publication. He previously compiled stories about others’ experiences with cancer, Roads to Meaning and Resilience with Cancer, and as a doctor he has been consulted by media outlets.
The book has the feel of a self-published project that did not undergo a lot of proofing, but I don’t begrudge the author that. No real harm done, and what I appreciate is that the author was in such a rush to get his story out (one of his main personality traits is being in a hurry). After finding out that he only had so long to live, he decided he wanted to make sure he told his story before he died. The existence of COVID – as he wrote this just last year, in 2020 – only fueled his sense of urgency and his already extenuated sense of the fragility of life.
Being Authentic is for anyone wavering about telling his or her own story. It doesn’t matter if it comes out perfectly. It will be perfect because it’s your story. As Al Ackhar says in closing, “I will leave you with my demand; you should write your own memoir and be authentic.” The fact that neither your story (which means, your life) nor the way you tell it has to be perfect is freeing.
This book is for anyone fighting with self-forgiveness. In his efforts to be authentic, Al Ackhar explores incidents from childhood through adulthood. He admits when he did something wrong. Then he figures out if reparations are called for or not. He tracks his life from his youth, when he was not so authentic, and did not admit to or realize the ways in which he was compensating for things, such as his parents being gone or a strict upbringing about avoiding girls, to an adulthood when he can not only look at the past with clear eyes but also be genuine about his actions now.
The book ends rather suddenly with a conversation about how he felt being in quarantine due to COVID-19 and his own condition with cancer. His last words there, which feel like the last words of the “actual book” are “I missed the scent of another human’s body.” Perhaps he meant to finish his chronology-so-far with a bang, but what happens is we feel surprised at this admission and the subsequent backing off of it like a hot potato seems like a final example of his struggles with intimacy, which he admits throughout the book, rather than a symptom of pandemic lockdown. This could be totally unconscious. (Or maybe not, since Al Ackhar’s most recent endeavor is a new book in 2021 titled, A Love Attempt: Your Practical Guide to Love).
It's awful but presumably he is nearing the end. He wants to share whatever is in his heart and mind. He has a right to do that. If he did it without finesse, and largely on his own, without someone to organize for him, I don’t know and I don’t fault him; but it cannot be helped that these things impact the reader’s experience. Yet, if you take the author at his word, and judge the book on authenticity, it is perfect. I wish him the best. I hope he has many more days.
The quote that resonated most for me from this book was "I am afraid of being forgotten. Death does frighten me. But more than dying, I am scared of having no one remember me or, even worse, of being recognized differently from who I was."
Morhaf Al Achkar has written the story of his life, from a childhood in Aleppo Syria to his migration to the United States in 2006 as a practicing physician.
Filled with philosophical thinking borne of a Stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis in 2016 while still a young man, Achkar encourages us to look at our lives as not endless, but finite; to figure out what is really important.
In writing this book, he spoke to many people who are also facing a life threatening diagnosis. Included in this book are their feelings about being handed such a diagnosis and facing each day knowing their time may be up sooner rather than later.
This book was written to encourage each of us to be our authentic selves. As expected, the book runs the gamut of emotions, from regret to joy and happiness to depression. Through it all, there is the underlying current of culture, traditions, and faith.
Being Authentic was an interesting combination of memoir and lesson, long-held feelings brought to light, and how current events (political and COVID-19-related) make his personal medical situation more complicated. While I appreciated the author's honesty, it seemed to be written in bursts, since there would be pages of coherent, edited remembrances and sudden drops into rambling excuses for his decisions. The author's intent was to get his story out to the world, which he accomplished. His life has been an incredible one of courage and fortitude against obvious and often unfair obstacles. I would be more eager to recommend it if it had been more carefully edited.
I was given a copy of a digital version of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you!
Written by a man who developed lung cancer after taking an immunosuppressive drug for Crohn's disease. He is a physician himself, and extremely well educated, and enjoys learning for learning's sake.
He writes well of his musings on what his life is all about and trying to live an authentic life. However, his efforts are constrained by his inability to establish true intimacy in his life in some ways. That is, his ability to be true is flawed. He does acknowledge he has difficulties with intimacy, so--I suppose--he's as authentic as he knows how to be.
This isn’t so much a how to reach your potential and diversity in the world. He speaks from first account on facing life’s fears, career crash, and health scares. The authentic experience from him is how we can surpass our fears to our true authenticity.
A fascinating look at one persons journey through life, and the author’s willingness to be seen for who he is rather than what has been done or experienced. In “Being Authentic,” I saw myself so very clearly.
In these politically charged times we need to slow down and read stories from people from places like Syria. Forget the politics and remember the humans!
To be honest I skimmed a lot of this. I feel like it could have been half as long as it was. Still it had some good parts to it and was a pretty short read.