The Key To Your Child's Heart: Proven Steps That Will Help You Raise Motivated, Obedient, and Loving Children

by Gary Smalley

In this child-rearing classic, Gary Smalley cuts to the relational heart of parenting to show readers proven methods that can spell the difference between an angry, rebellious, distant child and a happy, cooperative one.

Genres: Parenting, Family, Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help, Christianity, Faith

192 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published November 30, 1983

About the author

Gary Smalley was one of the country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He was the award-winning, best-selling author or coauthor of sixteen books, as well as several popular films and videos. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won Gold Medallions, The Language of Love won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life, and his other titles have received Silver Medallions. His national infomercial Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships has been viewed by television audiences all over the world.

Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.

Reviews

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this 20 years ago; loved it. It planted an idea of how I'd want my family to be someday. (Never did get married or have kids though.)

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great book on disciplining your child with love. There were some parts that seemed kind of corny, but the author did say that you should come up with your own family "contract" or rules. It really stressed the importance of explaining that we obey and act certain ways because God has placed value on everyone and by obeying we are showing respect to God's creation.

[Catherine Gillespie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Key to Your Child’s Heart, by Gary Smalley, didn’t stick out to me as being particularly noteworthy in the sea of parenting books. Most of the topics covered are covered better elsewhere, and on a few topics (such as punishment) I found I disagreed strongly with Smalley’s conclusions.

{Read my full review here}

[Sean Harding · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I was young I would listen to these speakers at youth events and they would give these messages which were really self-esteem and other such psycho-babble, that if you took the Bible content out, would stand up as a coherent message.
If you take the Bible out of a message it should fall down in a mess - this book reminds me of this because there is no scriptural foundation undergirding the thesis, it is some Bible verses, and very few at that and mention of going to church.
Even the notion of asking who his daughter wanted to date was there any message about finding a man who lived for Jesus.
This was a book disguised as a Christian book that really was not, and his notion of physical punishment was frankly reprehensible and almost criminal.
I was going to give this book to friends who are having a child, but when gifting books like this I always read them first to ensure they are ok.
This will not be gifted but it will come in handy for something else as it goes into the recycle bin, to be turned into something useful.

[Melanie Mead · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm giving this book 3 stars as it's very dated, but I did really glean some helpful things from it. The first chapter is worth it's weight in gold and addresses how to open a closed spirit of a child. And what things we do that cause a child's spirit to close up. I also really appreciated chapter 3 which explains how to practically emotionally support a child. I needed those reminders!

[Lauren Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty solid. You can tell he and his wife put a ton of effort into forming a strong family culture and open communication with all their children. Definitely recommend his guidelines for spanking and chapters on motivating your kids.

[Kim Osterholzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wonderful book transformed me as a parent!

[Reem · Rating 4 out of 5]

استمتعت بقراءته
تجربته الشخصية مع بناء أسرة مترابطة متفاهمة

[Amie Barnett · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing parenting book. I have learned so much valuable information--now I just need to put it into practice. (-: This book specifically address two things: 1) establishing clearly defined and understood rules in the home, limits that the children know they cannot violate without some consequence and 2) establishing a commitment to love each child in a warm, affectionate and supportive way. The book goes into detail on how we as parents can do these two things. With setting limits it discusses step-by-step how you can put together a family contract. It gives ideas on expressing supportive love, doing fun things together as a family, motivating children, becoming a close-knit family, and sharing life together.

[Apryl Anderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a total mixed message! Yes, love God and love one another as you love yourself. I didn't have to read this book to learn that.

Okay, Mr Smalley loves his children, poor kids. I am sooo glad that my father wasn't an esteemed child psycho! How much respect would it take to NOT use your children for every example?

Love, encourage, correct with gentleness. Don't build walls!
...and they all lived happily-ever-after.

[Tammyribbey ribbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for all parents. This will improve any parent child relationship for the rest of your lives.

[Gary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although the book is a little old, circa 1992, it really has some great ideas about raising kids such as family nights and contracts. It is a good book just a little old.

[Isabel Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book so for. I love the family contract. My husband and I are working on drafting ours.

[Frans Kempe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book with some good advice about parenting with focus on the practical side. I was not so keen on the whole spanking side, but otherwise it was many good thoughts.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book before and it contains some great parenting advice. I'm sure I will read it again and again.

[Mandie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good!! So many great, practical ideas!

[Matt Carpenter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some good insights to the psychology of children.

[Vikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!