Knockin’ Doorz Down is the inspirational story of one man’s heroic struggle against inner demons that nearly destroy him, though he ultimately recovers and finds a unique pathway to redemption and peace. The book has also been translated into Spanish and Portuguese (copy and paste below link to see either version): Successful entrepreneur Carlos Vieira was raised on his family’s sweet potato farm in Livingston, California. As a teenager, Vieira is popular and athletic, all set to join the family business, but the allure of recreational drug use leads to a party lifestyle that derails both his career and personal life. In this cautionary tale, we see how the isolation of addiction affects every aspect of Vieira’s existence. Here are the binges, the excesses, the relapses, the rehabs, the arrests, the nights in jail, and the multiple resolutions to recover. At age thirty-four, he finally stops once and for all. Through it all, he offers a timeless no matter what you may be struggling with—family challenges, addiction, financial issues, health troubles, or relationship problems—you can pull yourself from the brink, knock down a new door, and create a brand-new life, becoming the person you were always meant to be.
The synopsis hooked me: "Knockin' Doorz Down is the inspirational story of one man's heroic struggle against inner demons that nearly destroy him, though he ultimately recovers and finds a unique pathway to redemption and peace."
This spoke to me, as I actively seek to employ folks with felony convictions, and many of those have drug involved convictions and pasts. I regularly reach for stories of the lives others have led, because I have not ever been in this situation, although I do acknowledge that I have a personality that could easily go down that road. All that said, unfortunately, I found none of the synopsis to be true or valid in regard to this title.
First and foremost, this is a book about mental illness and extreme privilege. While Vieira claims to be from "working class potato farmers" he neglects to share that at the time most of his struggles are taking place, his dad is operating a billion dollar operation. A.V. Thomas Produce - which he name drops several times in the book - is the largest sweet potato and yam producer in California, and according to their site, they are the largest grower, packer, shipper in the US, Canada and Mexico. You'll see that come out clearer as the book progresses if you chose to read it, but the 'humble roots' take is just one of many ways the author is claiming to be a "victim of circumstance" that he doesn't seem to actually be (from everything I have seen after reading the book).
Vieira describes his life of luxury, multiple marriages, and brags about running the company so well that his dad gets 'jealous' and boots him from the sweet potato throne, causing Vieira to once again spiral into drugs because he's "bored" instead of getting the mental health help he needs to be a productive member of society and put all his privilege and claims of "genius" to use.
Never does he mention looking for coping strategies that are healthy or getting any sort of mental help. He says he loves the Scientology rehab, though, which is not only a whole different level of yikes, but also shows just how much financial backing he has. He name drops his families farm what felt like at least 15 times, with all his great ideas he's claiming as 100% his own with no help from anyone, and plugs his own brand several times. He seems to be uneducated about healthy ways to cope, and is continuing to double down on an unhealthy lifestyle that continues his cycle of mental illness.
Vieira mentions selling a very expensive car more than once to pay for drugs and going on month-long+ binges, being shot at, 'watching his own back', buying friends, etc. Never once does he seem to sit with the fact that his actions, regardless of the cause, put himself and those around him in serious danger. He seems to still think that he is immortal and incapable of being taken down or having anything actually bad happen that he can't buy himself out of.
I believe that his chain of mental illness begin with his dad based on what little was mentioned of him in the book. I do not believe that he has learned any real coping strategies, and his solution of "so then I started racing cars and making my own booze brand and selling merchandise" is a bandaid at the very best. I believe that it's a bit absurd to have this be marketed as a solution that is remotely in-touch with reality, and it's extremely offensive to folks who are actively struggling to overcome addiction and make positive changes in their lives.
To add insult to injury, he then speaks of a (barely noticeable) surgical scar on his nose as another terrible thing he's had to overcome, and uses it as a springboard to say if he can overcome a facial scar, then you can overcome anything!
I would not recommend this to anyone, and I'm a bit shocked it was ever pushed through to a published title, much less an audiobook. (That is not even read by the author!)
A much better option for a biography that covers struggles with both mental illness and drug addiction would be Nikki Sixx's book, The Heroin Diaries.
Thank you NetGalley and Deyan Audio for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
What an amazing memoir. It was laid out perfectly and is an exceptional read! I enjoy reading inspiring memoirs that can teach and inform at the same time. That is what you will find within this brave and courageous life story. Those of us who maintain a recovery lifestyle know that addiction does not discriminate on whom it will touch.
Carlos also shares that addiction can be patient as well. Through his mastery of the How and Why he turned to drugs, some people can come from good homes or not many underlying issues as to why we can become addicts. Addiction will always wait for a weak moment, peer pressure, or that on time when you say "OK," I try it.
As the author shares, it can be that easy. Before he knew it, he begins that slow spiral into the black abyss. You'll need to read "The Rest of Story"... Redemption can be sweet, and this book shares it and so much more! What else did I take away from this book?
Carlos gives "Recovery Warrior" a new meaning through his exceptional and powerful story. I highly recommend this book to everyone. (Especially to parents to share it with their late teens.)
Certainly an intriguing, very personal look at a life of a rich, drug user. The author is very lucky to have had such a supportive and financially-stable family and their support. The book starts in the middle of the "action" of the night and details of preparing and using drugs. He then goes back and tells his life story chronologically, but focusing mostly on the 13 years of his drug use. The last chapter and epilogue could have been shortened. I thought the end of the book was neigh several times before he'd launch into more recommendations for rehab, support, etc. There's also a minor section where he talks about the products his 5150 Company sells and the controversies around that. The audiobook was well done and easy to listen to - a couple minor sound glitches.
⚠️ Content: extremely detailed descriptions of drug preparation and use (cocaine, meth, weed), alcohol use, violence, mental instability, abandonment, sex is briefly mentioned in passing
🏳️🌈 Representation: autobiography of his experiences, race and ethnicity are not discussed in the context of his story
🎁 Gift to: anyone interested in what the recovery process looks like for a person using drugs
✍🏼 *I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.*
This was such an easy and great read. I was excited to see his outcome that I couldn’t put it down. He does such a great job at getting the readers to understand what an addict goes through. That’s one thing we tend to overlook. We can’t push an addict to get help until they are fully willing to devote everything they have into it but they will fall short us as friends, family, livers etc need to be as patient as we can be and understand addiction is an Illness and it affects everyone differently.
Absolutely recommend! I like how he tells his story. It's straightforward, uncomplicated. When I found this at my library, I was so excited because I live near the Atwater/Livingston area so this feels local and I love that. I wasn't familiar with the beautiful story behind 51FIFTY. I knew it was an energy drink but that's about it. Also, as a person in recovery, there's just so much I like about this book.
An honest and very open look at drug addiction, hitting rock bottom and moving towards a new life. Not only did the author explain how his addiction started, but how it continued even after multiple rehab attempts. A great read for anyone but repertory those who may have addiction in any form on their lives.
A very personal story, and it is interesting to hear the way his brain was working (or maybe not working). It was not always clear to me where the story was time wise, it jumped around a bit.
Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing me with a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!