Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause: An Unexpected Spiritual Journey

by Cheryl Bridges Johns

Menopause is a dramatic but largely overlooked developmental window to the second half of life. Although today's women are more aware of and actively involved in mapping their menopausal journey than generations before, many still do not see menopause as a time of important psychological and spiritual transformation. This book goes far beyond hot flashes and gets to the very heart of the midlife journey, helping women find their unique voice and speak their truth in an era of #MeToo and #ChurchToo. Coming alongside readers as a wise spiritual guide, pastor and theologian Cheryl Bridges Johns identifies seven key developmental "tasks" of menopause and gives practical ways women can embrace each one. She encourages women to view these tasks as gifts as they experience the remarkable physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation that occurs in this stage of life.Written in a warm and conversational tone, this book helps women chart a course for the future, leading them to a renewed sense of identity, a more focused vision for life, and a deeper spirituality. Each chapter includes guided questions for personal reflection and study questions for group discussion.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Audiobook

230 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 17, 2020

Reviews

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have very little in common with the author of this book, an evangelical Christian college professor, but I found this book surprisingly encouraging, interesting, thought-provoking and inspirational. Another reviewer said that the author is too "new age" for her, but her only unconventional ideas center around her feminist ideals that question the traditional misogyny of many church traditions and revolutionary things like suggesting that God is as female as male. Anyway, that's an incredibly small portion of the book.

The book is slow to start but I'm so glad I kept reading. I particularly enjoyed the last chapter (courage) and the idea of no longer being princesses waiting for princes to rescue us from dragons, but to be the dragons we were meant to be. I also appreciated the way she showed that anger is a gift of menopause and why.

I have been reading Why We Can't Sleep as I read this book and by about halfway through this one, I wanted to write the author of that one and tell her to read this. Where that one whines about midlife angst, this one points out the many reasons we are who we are now and directs us into a vibrant future. Where this one focuses on money and worries, this one focuses on finding your authentic self again and using the gifts of midlife (vision, anger, courage, etc.) to become an even better, more fulfilled version of yourself.

Parts of this book are quite Christian. Even if you are not Christian, I would recommend this book. Johns' does an excellent job of using stories of women she's known from around the world to illustrate how early life shapes us into the women the world wants and how midlife can shape us into the women we truly want to be.

(Side note for the reviewer who complained it wasn't about the physical aspects of menopause -- no it's not but the "spiritual journey" in the title should be a good enough clue not to hold that against it).

I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it, and I recommend it to women of any age.

I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.

[C.C. Gilmore · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried really hard to like this book. However, the author's repeated statements that every woman who is going through menopause is married (to a man) and is on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) were too much to handle. I really respect one of the blurb writers for this book and so I gave it more of a chance than I really should have. I'm not one to not finish a book, but I gave up about halfway through. I couldn't handle the sick feeling in my stomach every time one of these 2 things was brought up.

[Judy Erickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first thought when I started reading was I wish I would’ve had this 20, even 10 years ago. It helped me understand what was going on during a very difficult season in my life. Having said that, it has given me fresh courage and energy in my current phase of life and I’m excited for the next 30 years, cuz I’m not done yet. The title lives up to its name. There are gifts to be found and new horizons to explore as we move through the chapters of our lives.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you say "Hot Flashes!" around anyone, their mind automatically heads to menopause. While not quite there yet, that time of life is certainly sneaking up on me, so the book Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause seemed like an appropriate title to read. Unfortunately, menopause or "the change" carries a lot of baggage and is often used to demean and put down women.

Author Cheryl Bridges Johns is Chair of Spiritual Renewal at Pentecostal Theological Seminary. For each chapter, she emphasizes that women may have been taught one thing, such as women should be quiet and not have a voice, but that the Bible doesn't teach that. Johns then shares how menopause is a wonderful time to transform that area or aspect of your life by embracing your true self or finding the voice that you may have hidden or not felt comfortable using. Cheryl Bridges Johns does marvelous job of combining spiritual teaching and stories from her own life and those of other women. Some of the stories such as that of a woman being asked to leave a women's retreat for asking questions and being disruptive rather than being quiet and simply a container to be filled will make you angry and wonder what would happen in your church setting. Johns pulls in other scholarly research as well to back up her points. She writes as an older, wiser friend who has already experienced these gifts and wishes to help others experience menopause as transforming gifts rather than closing the door on possibilities.

I would encourage any woman regardless of their age or their proximity to this time period to read Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause. If you are currently in this phase, it will be encouraging and help you to embrace your future years with gusto. If this phase is in your near future, reading this book will help you to begin thinking about these gifts and how you can embrace them fully. If either of these categories describe you, Johns also includes wonderful questions for both person reflection and group reflection which makes this perfect for a study or book group. If menopause is far in the future, you still might find this a useful book. Many of the gifts described, as the title suggests, focus on transforming a viewpoint or action that you may find useful to implement now. All in all, no matter your age, Johns helps you to become more comfortable with the life changes we all go through and with who you are and the unique gifts God has given to you.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause from Brazos Press/Baker Publishing Group via NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

[♏Vanessa♏ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whilst I like this was written in a positive and empowering way, I didn’t like the openly Christian aspect of the spirituality message. Admittedly, that is obviously her religion and she mentions other ones in passing, but I would have liked it way more if the message was not so linked to 1 kind of religion.
Still, it was good and the narration was really well done.

[Amy Jacobsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So glad I read this book. It already has been a good guide. Will be recommending to others!

[J.E. Kraft · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll be honest, the thought of going through menopause terrifies me. Watching women I love go through it has given me an expectation of physical suffering as well as complete emotional upheaval. It was surprising and refreshing to read Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause. Dr. Johns’ honest treatment of the subject not only gave me hope for getting through the experience, it gave me the expectations of a vibrant second half of life. Her chapter on the Gift of Courage is prophetic and moving. Be warned, you will want some tissues to go along with the sense of empowerment that comes with this read. This is definitely a book I’m going to be giving to my friends.

[Amy Bell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that because I was forced into a chemical menopause before the age of 40, I didn't really connect with the book like I had hoped I would. I thought this would be a book more about the physical symptoms of menopause, instead it was about finding your 2nd life basically after you and your kids are much older than I am. I'm mentally not where this author says most menopausal women are. This might be better for older ladies going through the natural menopause.
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book for my honest opinion.

[Mandy Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is so much more than a book for women going through menopause. It describes the spiritual development of women which is a great partner for the work of Richard Rohr on men's spiritual development.

[Traci Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause: An Unexpected Spiritual Journey” by Cheryl Bridges Johns is a book that I had the opportunity to read as an Advanced Reader Copy. This book is scheduled to be published on March 17, 2020. The author is an evangelical Christian college professor who weaves her words with a passion of writing from an academic perspective as well as personal reflection of her journey in this season of life. This is a book about menopause and helps the reader dive into the emotional aspect during the transition. I was able to relate and reflect as I was recently told, “Congratulations, you made it! You are in menopause!” (Please read that in the voice of Buddy the Elf.) I have felt that my previous experiences with menopause were negative, taboo and rarely discussed. Any discussion with woman in my family centered around how crazy someone else became or the horrible hot flashes or smug remarks. I think I began peri-menopause about five years ago and when I would talk about my symptoms responses would center around “oh my God, you are so young.” So, I kept my mouth shut and suppressed my words. I won’t say that I suffered in silence, but I knew who I could and could not talk to about this season of life. Ultimately, I have embraced the journey. This author describes seven gifts. I wish I had understood the emotional process of the journey with more clarity as this author describes especially related to anger. I have been a people pleaser most of my life and do not express anger. Then, along comes menopause anger. You know the anger. That moment when your child, teenager or spouse gives a side eye and your head spins around like the exorcist, but you have no idea why you are mad and neither do they. I learned to recognize when a moment was lurking and could warn my people who quickly learned to follow the command of “remove yourself from this space before the wrath of Traci arrives.” The author says, “It (Anger) is a cleansing fire; when used properly, it makes way for much of life’s dead wood to be cleared out so new growth can occur.” That is powerful for me. I am not saying to allow the wrath to explode on those around you, but to channel the anger into healing. Quiet yourself and dive deep into the pain to understand the root of the anger. I have a tendency to say “you don’t do this, etc” when I really need to say “I am stressed. I am tired. I am overwhelmed.” Then, you can open the door to establish boundaries as well as rules to help decrease those feelings as you carry the burdens of your day to day life. I hope to be able to learn to be more expressive, let go of the fiery and use that energy for peace within my soul. I will continue to control the things I can and let go of the things I cannot. In this season of life, I will continue to evolve and become who I am meant to be and chase my vision and dreams. As for those woman silently suffering in this season of life, I plead with you to talk with others and shout loudly from the mountain tops. You are not alone. I will lend a listening ear and support your journey through the season. (Pages 240)

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ah, I really wanted to love this book and be greatly helped and deeply moved, but it was not those things for me.

the early chapters were encouraging -- as I am already past menopause (so not 'quite' the target audience -- it is written for those in the throes of perimenopause, really) -- I can see that I've walked much of this path already; grieving either for what's been lost, or for what never was, just angry at the voicelessness of the past, etc... It would have been helpful to know that this path is common, but I've never lived an unexamined life, so I was fine without a book to tell me what to think and what to do during those years.

What I struggled with most about this book is that, it seems to me, much of this book is directed at women of privilege; women who can stay home, sitting in front of a picture window watching the seasons pass by until she is grown/healed ~~ NOT my life at all! How many women have jobs where they can sit at home for many months? How many have work schedules where they can "walk in nature" for 2 hours after work every day? Miss deadlines at work because they're tired and not be penalized?

I was really sad at how Cheryl dismissively characterized her grandmother's life lived in "cyclical time". After listing all the things her grandmother DIDN'T do (run for office, write a book, make a scientific discovery), she says, "Other than adding lines to our family's genealogical chart and passing down her legacy to her descendants, my grandmother's life is not written in history books". Oh, the horror of living a quiet life where God set her.

Maybe I'm just not the target for this book, or not the right type of woman -- the dragon woman narrative doesn't resonate with me or appeal to me. Of course, I'm no 'sweet princess' and I didn't marry an "ordinary, boring prince" to rescue me, or for any other reason. I guess this just isn't my box to be freed from.

[Lory Hess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Guides to negotiating the storms of menopause have become more available in recent years, but women can use much help in this under=reported area of life. Here is one offering made with great heart and earnestness.

Johns comes from an evangelical Christian background that is not mine, and many of her comments are directed specifically to this audience. Some of the stories of shaming and repression of women that she shared were shocking to me and I find it unbelievable that this behavior is called "Christian." However, it was also shocking to learn that not that long ago, women past the age of menopause were considered completely disposable, that menopause meant the "death of the woman within the woman." The fear of women and female power is still very great, even within our supposedly enlightened society, and we cannot try too hard to overcome this bias.

Johns quoted the work of Christiane Northrup frequently and her approach is very similar, though flavored by her place in the evangelical Christian world. Each section contains description of one area Johns has identified as an opportunity for self-development in midlife, narrative examples from women's lives, and questions for individual and group reflection. There is much to learn and to explore, much of which could fruitfully be gone into earlier in a woman's life than menopause -- but better late than never. Certainly there is great evidence that women who take up the challenge of this change can truly transform their lives for the better.

Johns used a great deal of flowery metaphorical language that I found unnecessary and sometimes distracting. I had a strong sense though of her passion for the topic and for her mission to help women embrace their authentic selves. I appreciate her work and hope it will reach the audience it is meant for.

[Havebooks Willread · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has been quite some time since I've had such mixed feelings regarding a book and thus such a difficult time choosing a rating. The author is much more feministic than I am, so there are multiple passages I flat-out disagree with and would caution others against reading and ingesting the ideas. Knowing this is her worldview overall gives me hesitation in embracing even the ideas that resonate with me while at the same time MUCH of the book resonates.

Parts of the book helped me to identify--or perhaps I should say "give words to"-- what is going on in my own thoughts and experience. There were moments that made me feel seen, not alone, and "normal" as in "this is a normal season and I am not alone in walking through it." The three ideas I will most sit with are:
1) that of not being willing to just accept things that at past times I have chosen to overlook as "not that big of a deal,"
2) paring down life and letting go of ideas, practices, and commitments that no longer matter so much to me, and
3) purposefully and intentionally cultivating a life of "deep gladness", purpose, and vision--that "sweet spot of living out a vision" where I have "carved out space and time for the things that bring me fulfillment and joy" (189) in whatever earthly life is remaining to me.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excellent book is a wonderful resource for women approaching or experiencing menopause. The author offers a brutally honest description of all the anger, hormonal fluctuations, and life changes women go through, especially in the years leading up to menopause. I wish I had been able to read a book like this years ago.

The book comes at the topic from a Christian standpoint, but the author does a very nice job of including women of all faiths (or no faith). While this book would be useful for any woman in her forties or fifties, the author does a particularly good job of addressing church-going women. She paints an honest and helpful portrait of patriarchy in the church and points out the "nice girl" roles many of us get shoved into as church members. While most Johns' examples come from conservative church settings, these examples and criticisms met me where I am as a member of a progressive church as well.

This book helped me a lot in going through this huge change of life and offered guidance for self-examination and reflection. Highly recommended.

[Phyllis · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a woman of Menopausal age seeking life advice and input on the next chapter of my life, I was intrigued by this book and excited to be invited to a class with the author. However, as a conservative Christian, I found this book and teaching to be equal parts alarming and disturbing.

The author seeks to help women find new meaning and "uncover gifts" that this new stage in life offers, but she does so by referencing the work of feminists, new age gurus, contemplative spiritual leaders and assorted other anti-biblical or extra biblical content.

I am not opposed to research or extra-biblical information, but scripture is the highest authority for any content or life advice I consume and apply and sadly, this book had very little biblical support.

Menopause and the empty nest years do bring great changes to a womans life, but there are other books, authors, teachers and podcasters with a perspective more in alignment with scripture. Be like the Bereans and search the scriptures as you listen and consume.

I do not recommend or endorse this message or author at all.

[Ginger Hudock · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought that this book would be about the physical changes that happen with menopause, but that was not really dealt with. Instead, the author talks about what she calls the seven gifts of menopause: uncovering, anger, the authentic self, expanded time, spiritual freedom and courage. I am in the intended age range for this book, but I just did not relate to most of this content. I dealt with some of these things at a much earlier age in my life and menopause just has not been an issue for me.
I am also a fairly conservative Christian and this author brought a lot of spiritual, new ageish feminism into her interpretation of Christianity, which I could not agree with. It was somewhat interesting to read her beliefs, but I could not apply any of this.
The author is a good writer, but this book was not for me. I give it three stars because it is well-written. I received a complementary copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Gena Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want women with little kids to read this, especially if they have daughters to better understand what happens in adolescence. I want men my age to read this, to better understand how they can support the women & girls in their lives wherever they are on the journey. I want women in the second half of life to read this, find permission or space or the kindness to seek their authentic selves (not just for their own flourishing but for the flourishing of their community). I want men in the second half of life to read this to better understand the changes of menopause & the ways in which their encouragement & support so deeply influences the women in their lives. I want Christians to read this to better understand what Cheryl calls "benevolent patriarchy" — and how damaging that can be to a woman's psyche.

[Sharla Fritz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Menopause is often seen as completely negative. This book helps women see that good things can come through this change. In the later years, we can experience the gifts of having more time to pursue our gifts and interests and devote to our spiritual life with God. However, I did not agree with everything in the book. I don't think we all need to go through an anger phase. I don't think we all need to go on a Native American vision quest. And I especially don't agree that the Holy Spirit should be addressed as she/her. Take the good from the book and leave the bad.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished the audio version of this book and am
still making my way through the print version. That’s how good it is. 🤯 I only give 5 stars to books that would go in the category of “favs ever, must reads, or life-changing.” This is all three… and I wouldn’t wait to be in menopause to read it. Having this knowledge would’ve been beneficial from a much younger age. The content has inspired how I relate to my teenage daughter.

[Carole Duff · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderfully wise book about becoming who we were meant to be, in the image of God. The second half of life is designed for making sense of the past so we can move forward, to grow in spirit, wisdom, and courage. I particularly resonated with the chapters on the gift of uncovering, the gift of the authentic self, and the gift of vision. Highly recommended for women, menopausal, pre and post.

[Jill · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star
I know this book is supposed to be an introspective, self help Christian book. However, it is beyond strange. Please avoid this book. It is awful
I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for a honest review.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was really good! Written from a broadly Christian viewpoint, but with a refreshingly expansive, liberal perspective. I found a lot of useful nuggets in this book, identified with all the gifts and found the metaphors of the “vision quest” and the “dragon” extremely good and relevant.

[Absigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book put to words feelings that I had been having on my own but was unable to identify until I read the book - menopause as power source! Awesome concepts. Thankful to find a book that deals with more than physical symptoms. 🙏🏼

[Elizabeth Sawczuk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reluctantly picked up this book bc I’m not THERE yet. I found it to be so wise about the stages of a woman’s life. You don’t have to be going through menopause to gain so much from this book. It challenged me on a physical, emotional and spiritual level towards growth.

[Little House · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't seen many books on this topic. Well worth reading.

[Jody Walsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting perspective on menopause. Great book for a book club. Includes lots of discussion questions at the end of each chapter.

[Keisha · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book for a course. The introduction through chapter five provided useful information. The low rating is based on two of the last three chapters of the book.

[Jenna Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t love the title, but this book was great. Would recommend for women at any age.

[Charlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

We need more good books on menopause. Though at times this one felt like it assumed the readers had a fair amount of economic privilege, it handled many of the concerns menopausal women face.

[Ashley Marlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book and lots to chew on. I wound up purchasing the paperback after the audiobook so I can go back and do the exercises. Highly recommended for women close to or in menopause.