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Nighttime Parenting : How to Get Your Baby & Child to Sleep
Providing parents with a thorough understanding of why and how babies sleep differently from the rest of us, Dr. Sears--an affiliate of La Leche League International--helps them find a personalized solution to getting a good night's sleep for their children and themselves. 16 photographs and 16 line drawings.
204 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1985
12 people are currently reading
315 people want to read
About the author
William Sears
159 books169 followersDr. Sears, or Dr. Bill as his "little patients" call him, is the father of eight children as well as the author of over 30 books on childcare. Dr. Bill is an Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine. Dr. Bill received his pediatric training at Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital in Boston and The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto -- the largest children’s hospital in the world, where he served as associate ward chief of the newborn nursery and associate professor of pediatrics. Dr. Sears is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and a fellow of the Royal College of Pediatricians (RCP).Dr. Bill is also a medical and parenting consultant for BabyTalk and Parenting magazines and the pediatrician on the website Parenting.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
May 2, 2008
here's the thing about this book: it's not very helpful, per se, in providing actual suggestions for getting your baby to sleep better. it just isn't. BUT. it is helpful for a specific set of people, of which i am a part.
if you have decided that you don't want to let your baby 'cry it out' and you believe that sleeping well is a milestone for a baby like sitting up or walking or whatever else, then this book will help you hang on to that decision and belief. (if you HAVE decided to let your baby cry it out, then you will not need to look very far for support or for a variety of books to help you do that. most baby sleep books advocate some version of crying it out.)
if you have a baby that does not sleep well, feel free to call me up. i will commiserate and tell you my own sad stories. if you don't know me or don't have my number, read this book.
and, i will say here that my baby just recently started sleeping one million times better and it's not because of anything i did or didn't do. i had decided to believe that she would sleep on her own when she was ready and felt safe and it seems like that has worked out to be true. my (awesome) pediatrician told me many months ago that he doesn't think babies have the ability to self-soothe until they are nine months old. my baby started sleeping, literally, the day she turned nine months old. no joke. she now goes to sleep on her own and takes a two hour afternoon nap, hence my lengthy book reviews. hallelujah jesus.
if you have decided that you don't want to let your baby 'cry it out' and you believe that sleeping well is a milestone for a baby like sitting up or walking or whatever else, then this book will help you hang on to that decision and belief. (if you HAVE decided to let your baby cry it out, then you will not need to look very far for support or for a variety of books to help you do that. most baby sleep books advocate some version of crying it out.)
if you have a baby that does not sleep well, feel free to call me up. i will commiserate and tell you my own sad stories. if you don't know me or don't have my number, read this book.
and, i will say here that my baby just recently started sleeping one million times better and it's not because of anything i did or didn't do. i had decided to believe that she would sleep on her own when she was ready and felt safe and it seems like that has worked out to be true. my (awesome) pediatrician told me many months ago that he doesn't think babies have the ability to self-soothe until they are nine months old. my baby started sleeping, literally, the day she turned nine months old. no joke. she now goes to sleep on her own and takes a two hour afternoon nap, hence my lengthy book reviews. hallelujah jesus.
June 30, 2008
Lines I loved:
It is better to lose sleep over your children when they are little, than to have to stay up worrying about them when they are older.
Sleep problems occur when your child’s night-waking exceeds your ability to cope.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your new baby is a home built on the foundation of a stable and fulfilled marriage.
Calendar parenting simply does not work, and it often produces a short-term gain for a long-term loss.
As you get used to being a unit you will feel right when you are together and not right when you are apart.
Mothers are givers and babies are takers – that is a realistic expectation of a mother-baby relationship.
The tiny infant does not begin this conditioning until around three months, when more wakefulness occurs during the day and more sleep during the night.
In a study of a large group of infants, 70 percent of infants settled (12-5) by three months.
Sleep sharing reflects an attitude of acceptance of your child as a little person with big needs.
To a tiny baby, when mother is out of sight she ceases to exist.
Nursing the baby while sharing naps and nighttime sleep releases prolactin which counteracts the stress of caring for the baby’s needs.
The extra touching that a baby receives by sleeping with his parents definitely has a beneficial effect on development.
The quantity and quality of mothering does effect the emotional and intellectual development of the child.
A need that is filled does go away. It may last a little longer than we expect, but eventually it will pass.
Studies have shown that children under three sleep better sharing a bedroom rather than alone in their own rooms.
It is important that when babies are presented with certain cues they know that sleep is expected of them. Bedtime rituals set the stage and convey the message that sleep is soon to follow.
Sleep is not a stage you can force your child into. Sleep must overtake the child. Parents’ role is to create a sleep-inducing environment.
The smooth continuum from a warm bath to warm arms to a warm breast to a warm bed will usually induce sleep to one (or both) of you.
Patting the baby’s bottom or back repeatedly at sixty beats per minute may add the finishing touches to the ritual of inducing sleep. Remove your hands gradually, first one, than the other, easing the pressure slowly, as not to startle the baby back to waking.
A study at the University of North Carolina showed that infants remembered what their mothers read to them while in the womb. Babies in this study responded more strongly after stories that they heard while in the womb than to others by the same author.
Your baby can talk. You just need to learn how to listen.
A restrained response to crying undermines the infants trust.
The quicker the cry is responded to, the easier it is to turn it off.
Remember, that it is a person that is crying.
Studies have shown that young babies whose cries are promptly responded to cries less as older infants.
Because of you mother’s love for her grandchild, she will naturally want to help and advise. However, for the sake of her grandchild, this help and advice should be on your own terms and not grandmother’s. Grandmother has had her shot at parenthood. Now it’s your turn.
Letting the dad take over might be necessary if the mother can no longer cope well during the day because of not sleeping at night. This solution may be difficult for a sensitive, attached mother to accept, but she should remember that having dad comfort the baby is not the same as letting him cry. Crying in the arms of a familiar, well loved parent is not the same as being left alone behind the bars of a crib to cry it out.
Sleep maturity tends to take longer to develop in high needs children. These children are very sensitive to environmental stimuli by day and carry this sensitivity into their sleep patterns at night. Parents of a high need child will often describe him as “exhausting but bright.” These children seem to be constantly awake and aware, by day and by night, as though they posses an internal light bulb that is always on. Their inner radar system is always tuned in and processing the stimuli around them. One of the problems is that these children never want to turn the light off or the radar down. They do not easily detach themselves from the delights of their environment. They do not give up easily and are therefore very difficult to get to sleep. A seven bedtime is usually an unrealistic expectation for these children. Some sleep researchers feel that it is the ability to stay awake that reflects the maturation of the brain, rather than the ability to go to sleep through the night.
A fussy baby can shake the confidence of a new mother, and this can destroy many of the rewarding aspects of parenting. This leads to a vicious cycle: the less confident you are, the less effective you become at comforting your baby and the more inconsolable he becomes.
Being held in tense arms can be very upsetting to a baby who is already sensitive to tension.
Babies who receive a prompt response to their cries eventually cry less.
A new mother does not exercise wisdom in knowing when she is exceeding her ability to cope.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to love her mother, and one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is to be an involved father.
The word nightmare arises from the Teutonic word “mar” meaning devil. During the middle ages it was believed that nightmares were caused by a demon pressing upon the sleeper’s chest.
Children who sleep with their parents have fewer nightmares.
Children are more likely to have problems with bed-wetting if their parents were also bed-wetters.
The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percent of sleep time in quiet sleep.
Breastfeeding protects infants from respiratory and gastrointestinal infections, and these have been shown to contribute to SIDS risk.
Anthropological studies that the rate of SIDS is approximately three to four times higher in countries where mothers do not sleep with their babies.
You will see definite signs of readiness for a nap later: more crankiness, droopy eyelids, slowly down, patting his head down, wanting to nurse.
Rocking of a cradle may lull him back to sleep.
Our modern swinging cradles are the counterpart of the hammocks used to soothe babies in other cultures.
As much as possible try to minimize the changes in your baby’s lifestyle: home, neighborhood, beds and babysitters.
Babies and children of all ages get used to routine in the family lifestyle.
Babies at nine months do not separate from their mothers easily by day or by night.
It is better to lose sleep over your children when they are little, than to have to stay up worrying about them when they are older.
Sleep problems occur when your child’s night-waking exceeds your ability to cope.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your new baby is a home built on the foundation of a stable and fulfilled marriage.
Calendar parenting simply does not work, and it often produces a short-term gain for a long-term loss.
As you get used to being a unit you will feel right when you are together and not right when you are apart.
Mothers are givers and babies are takers – that is a realistic expectation of a mother-baby relationship.
The tiny infant does not begin this conditioning until around three months, when more wakefulness occurs during the day and more sleep during the night.
In a study of a large group of infants, 70 percent of infants settled (12-5) by three months.
Sleep sharing reflects an attitude of acceptance of your child as a little person with big needs.
To a tiny baby, when mother is out of sight she ceases to exist.
Nursing the baby while sharing naps and nighttime sleep releases prolactin which counteracts the stress of caring for the baby’s needs.
The extra touching that a baby receives by sleeping with his parents definitely has a beneficial effect on development.
The quantity and quality of mothering does effect the emotional and intellectual development of the child.
A need that is filled does go away. It may last a little longer than we expect, but eventually it will pass.
Studies have shown that children under three sleep better sharing a bedroom rather than alone in their own rooms.
It is important that when babies are presented with certain cues they know that sleep is expected of them. Bedtime rituals set the stage and convey the message that sleep is soon to follow.
Sleep is not a stage you can force your child into. Sleep must overtake the child. Parents’ role is to create a sleep-inducing environment.
The smooth continuum from a warm bath to warm arms to a warm breast to a warm bed will usually induce sleep to one (or both) of you.
Patting the baby’s bottom or back repeatedly at sixty beats per minute may add the finishing touches to the ritual of inducing sleep. Remove your hands gradually, first one, than the other, easing the pressure slowly, as not to startle the baby back to waking.
A study at the University of North Carolina showed that infants remembered what their mothers read to them while in the womb. Babies in this study responded more strongly after stories that they heard while in the womb than to others by the same author.
Your baby can talk. You just need to learn how to listen.
A restrained response to crying undermines the infants trust.
The quicker the cry is responded to, the easier it is to turn it off.
Remember, that it is a person that is crying.
Studies have shown that young babies whose cries are promptly responded to cries less as older infants.
Because of you mother’s love for her grandchild, she will naturally want to help and advise. However, for the sake of her grandchild, this help and advice should be on your own terms and not grandmother’s. Grandmother has had her shot at parenthood. Now it’s your turn.
Letting the dad take over might be necessary if the mother can no longer cope well during the day because of not sleeping at night. This solution may be difficult for a sensitive, attached mother to accept, but she should remember that having dad comfort the baby is not the same as letting him cry. Crying in the arms of a familiar, well loved parent is not the same as being left alone behind the bars of a crib to cry it out.
Sleep maturity tends to take longer to develop in high needs children. These children are very sensitive to environmental stimuli by day and carry this sensitivity into their sleep patterns at night. Parents of a high need child will often describe him as “exhausting but bright.” These children seem to be constantly awake and aware, by day and by night, as though they posses an internal light bulb that is always on. Their inner radar system is always tuned in and processing the stimuli around them. One of the problems is that these children never want to turn the light off or the radar down. They do not easily detach themselves from the delights of their environment. They do not give up easily and are therefore very difficult to get to sleep. A seven bedtime is usually an unrealistic expectation for these children. Some sleep researchers feel that it is the ability to stay awake that reflects the maturation of the brain, rather than the ability to go to sleep through the night.
A fussy baby can shake the confidence of a new mother, and this can destroy many of the rewarding aspects of parenting. This leads to a vicious cycle: the less confident you are, the less effective you become at comforting your baby and the more inconsolable he becomes.
Being held in tense arms can be very upsetting to a baby who is already sensitive to tension.
Babies who receive a prompt response to their cries eventually cry less.
A new mother does not exercise wisdom in knowing when she is exceeding her ability to cope.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to love her mother, and one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is to be an involved father.
The word nightmare arises from the Teutonic word “mar” meaning devil. During the middle ages it was believed that nightmares were caused by a demon pressing upon the sleeper’s chest.
Children who sleep with their parents have fewer nightmares.
Children are more likely to have problems with bed-wetting if their parents were also bed-wetters.
The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percent of sleep time in quiet sleep.
Breastfeeding protects infants from respiratory and gastrointestinal infections, and these have been shown to contribute to SIDS risk.
Anthropological studies that the rate of SIDS is approximately three to four times higher in countries where mothers do not sleep with their babies.
You will see definite signs of readiness for a nap later: more crankiness, droopy eyelids, slowly down, patting his head down, wanting to nurse.
Rocking of a cradle may lull him back to sleep.
Our modern swinging cradles are the counterpart of the hammocks used to soothe babies in other cultures.
As much as possible try to minimize the changes in your baby’s lifestyle: home, neighborhood, beds and babysitters.
Babies and children of all ages get used to routine in the family lifestyle.
Babies at nine months do not separate from their mothers easily by day or by night.
December 23, 2007
I like Dr. Sears, and I liked this book. If you are totally opposed to co-sleeping (I thought I was until my son was a few months old, and then pragmatism set in....), be forewarned: this is heavy on the co-sleeping. But having been co-sleeping for a while now, I can honestly say I feel much better rested than I ever did before (and have NO idea how many times my son wakes at night--we just go with it and I hardly wake up to feed/nurse him...it is marvelously easy). My husband is the one who encouraged co-sleeping and I'm glad we've done it.
That said, I read this book AFTER I started and it just helps affirm the good reasons for co-sleeping (also points out that most of the world does this, there's nothing unusual about it, except that our culture just doesn't co-sleep much). Convenience is high on the list, but also the baby's breathing regularity/safety. The benefits, if you are a nursing mother, are tremendous, and he points this out as well. This book also does a nice job of explaining how a baby's sleep habits are different from an adult's--and how it may be unrealistic to expect all babies to sleep through the night (oh, this is so true, at least for some babies!). But rather than to say "accept that you're going to be exhausted" the solution is this: keep the nursing baby in bed.
Lo and behold, it is true. It really does work. And it's terribly cozy to boot. Sure, I'd LOVE it if my child would sleep through the night. But in the meantime, this is what allows me to get sleep when he doesn't!!!
That said, I read this book AFTER I started and it just helps affirm the good reasons for co-sleeping (also points out that most of the world does this, there's nothing unusual about it, except that our culture just doesn't co-sleep much). Convenience is high on the list, but also the baby's breathing regularity/safety. The benefits, if you are a nursing mother, are tremendous, and he points this out as well. This book also does a nice job of explaining how a baby's sleep habits are different from an adult's--and how it may be unrealistic to expect all babies to sleep through the night (oh, this is so true, at least for some babies!). But rather than to say "accept that you're going to be exhausted" the solution is this: keep the nursing baby in bed.
Lo and behold, it is true. It really does work. And it's terribly cozy to boot. Sure, I'd LOVE it if my child would sleep through the night. But in the meantime, this is what allows me to get sleep when he doesn't!!!
September 13, 2008
This book should have been titled: Cosleep to solve 90% of nighttime problems.
I learned a few useful things from this book. I enjoyed reading the different baby personality quiz. Aside from that, it was pretty much very cosleeping, attachment parenting, and cosleeping. Oh, and did I mention cosleeping? Yes, bring your baby to your bed and supposedly they will sleep more. Um, unfortunately my baby sleeps just as long next to me as he does in his own bassinet. The difference is that I don't sleep well next to him because he moves around so much, and I wake up stiff from sleeping perfectly still.
I do like sleeping in the same room - I have certainly noticed some of the benefits this book talks about, such as waking up at the same time, or just before, my baby does each time.
If you're looking for more good reasons to do attachment parenting, you will enjoy this book. Oh, and make sure you try cosleeping. LOL.
I learned a few useful things from this book. I enjoyed reading the different baby personality quiz. Aside from that, it was pretty much very cosleeping, attachment parenting, and cosleeping. Oh, and did I mention cosleeping? Yes, bring your baby to your bed and supposedly they will sleep more. Um, unfortunately my baby sleeps just as long next to me as he does in his own bassinet. The difference is that I don't sleep well next to him because he moves around so much, and I wake up stiff from sleeping perfectly still.
I do like sleeping in the same room - I have certainly noticed some of the benefits this book talks about, such as waking up at the same time, or just before, my baby does each time.
If you're looking for more good reasons to do attachment parenting, you will enjoy this book. Oh, and make sure you try cosleeping. LOL.
July 6, 2008
This book saved my life! I struggled with how to get my children to sleep and worried that I was doing it wrong, or was making a mistake by allowing my children to be in bed with me. This book confirmed that what I was doing was perfectly natural and taught me ways to make it the most enjoyable experience for all of us as well as how to make the transition to the crib. I highly recommend this book. Especially, if you have a colicky or high needs child.
December 1, 2008
Hmmm. Not a very helpful book. Here's what I learned: you have to be a good parent at night, too! Comfort your baby, nurse your baby, parent your baby to bed, and sleep with your baby. If you're looking for a book to argue the point for attachment parenting and co-sleeping, this is it. But I need to keep looking for a book that explores more options and ideas for sleep...
August 26, 2021
I started reading when I was expecting our first child and had some doubts about Dr Sears' methods - although I was sure I would not sleep train, I would definitely co-sleep and breastfeed if possible. Now that he is 6 months old and I am finally finished with this book it turns out I am naturally drawn to Dr Sears' methods. Recommended book, even if you just want to know about a parenting style different from your own.
September 4, 2023
This book is great if you need encouragement to do what’s “outside the norm” and trust your instincts, especially if you want to co-sleep, but if you’re wanting to explore other options, this book doesn’t offer much guidance.
January 19, 2016
This book is all about attachment parenting, and if that style's not for you, you'll hate it. Although I consider myself a very responsive parent (not letting my daughter "cry it out" and spending almost every waking hour of every day with her (and several "I should be sleeping" hours, too)), I don't think I need to have my daughter share a bed with me. Don't get me wrong, it'd be cute to have her crawl into our bed on a Saturday morning when she's 3, and not have to get up and go to her. I don't think that it's necessary for a parent to have their child sleep in bed with them all night every night.
The author does provide plenty of evidence for his beliefs, but it still seems a bit too extreme. I found this to be the least helpful of the baby books that I've read. All issues that are covered have the same singular solution: co-sleeping. Any information that the author provided about cribs is outdated. For example, it talks about the use of a drop rail, and those have been banned since 2011. This book was published before that, so it's not the author's fault, but it's important for the reader to know.
The author does provide plenty of evidence for his beliefs, but it still seems a bit too extreme. I found this to be the least helpful of the baby books that I've read. All issues that are covered have the same singular solution: co-sleeping. Any information that the author provided about cribs is outdated. For example, it talks about the use of a drop rail, and those have been banned since 2011. This book was published before that, so it's not the author's fault, but it's important for the reader to know.
September 23, 2007
Oh my goodness! Out of all of the Dr. Sears' books I own and have read, this is my utmost favorite! If you plan to nurse your baby (or even if you don't), knowing why and how children sleep differently than adults is SO helpful! This book (and Dr. Sears' research) is very educational and makes a lot of sense. If you think it's right to let your child cry it out (which, by the way, crying is their way of communicating), please read this book. Children are not designed to sleep through the night until the age of 2 for various reasons like teething, etc. I can tell you that Briscoe is 13 months at the time I'm reviewing this book on here, and nights that his teeth are bugging him... he nurses like a newborn! Other nights, he may have three to four or more hours in between nursings. Being a first-time parent, this book really helped me.
January 8, 2019
I liked this book in that a lot of what Dr. Sears writes came naturally to me. I also enjoyed the section on the states and stages of sleep in newborns and adults; it helped me better understand the science of sleep and what my baby is experiencing. On the other hand, I experienced difficulty getting my daughter to nap around 4 months; she no longer fell asleep while nursing and sometimes it could take well over an hour to get her to sleep (at which point she was beyond overtired and had become a “fussy baby”). Ultimately, I had to turn to other resources to solve this napping predicament. Now, at nearly 6 months, we are blending a few styles of nighttime/nap time parenting and have found what currently works for our daughter. I encourage others to read this book as well as other resources to find what works best for your child.
June 14, 2007
Read this book because 1) I got it from Goodwill, 2) I liked what I read in Sears' other books (with caveats) and 3) Boy wasn't sleeping.
There's little in this book that isn't in Sears' other books. There's a little more science about infant sleep cycles that might help you understand why your child awakens so often. There's a lot more sexism, including tips on natural family planning that made me wonder why they were there.
There's little in this book that isn't in Sears' other books. There's a little more science about infant sleep cycles that might help you understand why your child awakens so often. There's a lot more sexism, including tips on natural family planning that made me wonder why they were there.
July 30, 2011
It is refreshing to read a book unashamed in its support of co-sleeping. I've never heard of any method of nighttime parenting comparable in its convenience and its perfectly safe if the parents are not intoxicated, drugged or taking medication.
It is also nice to read a book unashamed in its support of attachment parenting. Forget Babywise.
My only caveat is the repetitiveness. This book could have had 1/3 of its pages removed without losing anything. I'm not stupid, I can take notes.
It is also nice to read a book unashamed in its support of attachment parenting. Forget Babywise.
My only caveat is the repetitiveness. This book could have had 1/3 of its pages removed without losing anything. I'm not stupid, I can take notes.
March 9, 2008
Seemed geared toward older children. feeling bad for the person who suffered longer than I did with no sleep was about the only thing I got out of this book.
It's hard to review any of the "sleep books", since none of them worked for us. I started out thinking they were all pretty good, but since I was unable to implement any of their suggestions I may not be the most objective reviewer.
It's hard to review any of the "sleep books", since none of them worked for us. I started out thinking they were all pretty good, but since I was unable to implement any of their suggestions I may not be the most objective reviewer.
Read
December 31, 2007This teaches you that parenting is a 24-hour job. It gives you a new perspective about sleeping and helps you cope with the adjustment to different sleep-awake patterns, rather than getting mad at yourself or family because someone won't sleep the way that YOU want.
January 28, 2009
I know this is completely against what most of the mommies say about this book but I just wasn't impressed.
January 27, 2008
Great if you want your kid in the bed with you! I did take home a couple of good idea's though.
May 24, 2020
Schlaf bei Babys. Ein Thema, das alle Eltern sehr belastet, deren Kind irgendwie Schlafprobleme hat. Wer das nicht selbst erlebt hat, kann sich nicht vorstellen wie das ist. Ich persönlich koche vor Wut, wenn in irgendeinem Forum jemand jammert, wie lästig es ist, dass das Baby dreimal nachts wach wird. Oder rumtönt, der Spross schliefe mit seinen vier Monaten ja längst durch.
Dr Sears ist Kinderarzt und Vater von acht Kindern und hat Eltern, die über mies schlafende Babys jammern auch immer etwas belächelt, denn ja, Babys sind anstrengend. Er erlebte sein blaues Wunder als sein viertes Kind plötzlich auch eines *dieser* Kinder war.
Sein Buch beschreibt den kindlichen Schlaf in allen Eigenheiten und im natürlichen Aufbau. Gleichzeitig endet für ihn Elternschaft nicht mit dem abendlichen zu Bett bringen, auch in der Nacht braucht Baby seine Eltern als verlässliche Ansprechpartner, wie tags. Daher der Titel des Buches. Sears ist dabei ein großer Freund des Co-Sleeping: Baby schläft im Familienbett. Was im WWW und von Ärzten eher abgelehnt wird weil angeblich zu unsicher, ist besonders bei Stillberaterinnen sehr empfohlen (daher die Kooperation mit der La Leche Liga). Empfohlen oder nicht, ohne Co-Sleeping wäre hier im Haus alles die Hölle. Das Baby wacht seit Monaten nachts mindestens alle zwei Stunden auf, häufig öfter. Tagsüber ist jedes Schläfchen ein Kampf mit viel Gebrüll. Müssten wir das Baby jedes Mal aus seinem Zimmer holen und zurück bringen... Ich mag es mir nicht ausmalen.
Dr Sears füllt sein Buch zu großen Teilen damit, das Co-Sleeping aus allen Winkeln zu beleuchten. Es ist die Basis des Erziehungsstils, den er am meisten befürwortet: Attachment Parenting (im Gegensatz zum schreienlassen "cio - cry it out"). Er beruft sich dabei viel auf die Natur und den Mutterinstinkt und gibt zahlreiche Hinweise und Anregungen für besseren Schlaf für die ganze Familie.
Stillen und das Familienbett sowie zwei involvierte Eltern stehen dabei im Hauptfokus. Als Alleinerziehende oder fläschelnde Mama käme ich mir weniger abgeholt vor.
Ein gutes Buch für jeden, der einen komplizierten Schläfer daheim hat und das Baby nicht pawlowmäßig in die Resignation weinen lassen will. Unser Baby ist durch dieses Buch kein besserer Schläfer geworden - aber wir verständnisvollere Eltern, die sich bestmöglich mit der aktuellen Bedürfnislage ihres abfinden. Und das ist manchmal hart genug.
Einen Punkt Abzug für die merkwürdige Befürwortung von Sex während das Baby daneben liegt oder womöglich zuguckt. Das Kapitel fand ich äußerst unangenehm.
Dr Sears ist Kinderarzt und Vater von acht Kindern und hat Eltern, die über mies schlafende Babys jammern auch immer etwas belächelt, denn ja, Babys sind anstrengend. Er erlebte sein blaues Wunder als sein viertes Kind plötzlich auch eines *dieser* Kinder war.
Sein Buch beschreibt den kindlichen Schlaf in allen Eigenheiten und im natürlichen Aufbau. Gleichzeitig endet für ihn Elternschaft nicht mit dem abendlichen zu Bett bringen, auch in der Nacht braucht Baby seine Eltern als verlässliche Ansprechpartner, wie tags. Daher der Titel des Buches. Sears ist dabei ein großer Freund des Co-Sleeping: Baby schläft im Familienbett. Was im WWW und von Ärzten eher abgelehnt wird weil angeblich zu unsicher, ist besonders bei Stillberaterinnen sehr empfohlen (daher die Kooperation mit der La Leche Liga). Empfohlen oder nicht, ohne Co-Sleeping wäre hier im Haus alles die Hölle. Das Baby wacht seit Monaten nachts mindestens alle zwei Stunden auf, häufig öfter. Tagsüber ist jedes Schläfchen ein Kampf mit viel Gebrüll. Müssten wir das Baby jedes Mal aus seinem Zimmer holen und zurück bringen... Ich mag es mir nicht ausmalen.
Dr Sears füllt sein Buch zu großen Teilen damit, das Co-Sleeping aus allen Winkeln zu beleuchten. Es ist die Basis des Erziehungsstils, den er am meisten befürwortet: Attachment Parenting (im Gegensatz zum schreienlassen "cio - cry it out"). Er beruft sich dabei viel auf die Natur und den Mutterinstinkt und gibt zahlreiche Hinweise und Anregungen für besseren Schlaf für die ganze Familie.
Stillen und das Familienbett sowie zwei involvierte Eltern stehen dabei im Hauptfokus. Als Alleinerziehende oder fläschelnde Mama käme ich mir weniger abgeholt vor.
Ein gutes Buch für jeden, der einen komplizierten Schläfer daheim hat und das Baby nicht pawlowmäßig in die Resignation weinen lassen will. Unser Baby ist durch dieses Buch kein besserer Schläfer geworden - aber wir verständnisvollere Eltern, die sich bestmöglich mit der aktuellen Bedürfnislage ihres abfinden. Und das ist manchmal hart genug.
Einen Punkt Abzug für die merkwürdige Befürwortung von Sex während das Baby daneben liegt oder womöglich zuguckt. Das Kapitel fand ich äußerst unangenehm.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 4, 2019
I read this book when I was co-sleeping with my 3-month old and it was working for us. It was nice to read a book that said it's nothing wrong to do so. However when the 4-month sleep regression hit and my baby started to wake up hourly at night I started to learn about sleep associations and how they affect your child's sleep. This book does not acknowledge this problem AT ALL. Based on advice in this book you should just forever co-sleep with your child and nurse him to sleep no matter how many times during the night no matter how old the child. It obviously doesn't say anything about the possible consequences such shattered sleep could have on you and more importantly - your child. It suggests you are abusing your child if you let him cry even just a little (using flawed science to scare you), but from my experience fussy babies who don't get a good night sleep do cry a lot during the day from being tired. This book is nice to read when your baby is really small and co-sleeping may still work, it also offers some good advice on safe co-sleeping. But if your child has a serious sleep problem latter on, this book is no solution for you.
February 12, 2022
Wer ein Ratgeber sucht, der erklärt, wie Kinder durchschlafen lernen, wird hier nicht fündig. Allerdings erklärt das Buch gut, wie und warum Kinder schlafen und hilft somit, die Situation zu verstehen und zu akzeptieren. Mir gefällt, dass sich das Buch an den Bedürfnissen der Kinder orientiert. Allerdings ist es mittlerweile ein bisschen veraltet - zum Einen, weil die zitierten Forschungen aus den 80er Jahren sind und zum Anderen weil es von einem einzigen möglichen Familienbild - Mama, Papa und ich, ausgeht.
January 17, 2025
I really enjoyed reading this book. I think it had a lot of good information, and it was refreshing to see a pediatrician endorsing bed sharing. That being said if you are a first time parent reading this book, use it as a loose guide. Some of the practices in this book are extremely unsafe and outdated practices. Do your due diligence and research anything more thoroughly before jumping in with both feet and doing it.
August 27, 2023
molto interessante capire dal punto di vista di un pediatra (e quindi scientificamente) come dormono i bimbi, la sids, ecc. però non si può far sentire in colpa un genitore che non può o non vuole far dormire i figli nel lettone, allattare ecc.... ho sempre molta paura di questi "estremismi" riportati nei libri...
November 22, 2017
A fine introduction to attachment style parenting and how it can help sleep schedules. In the end, you just have to find what sleeping arrangement works best for you (and your spouse/partner) and baby will eventually learn how to organize their own sleep.
May 21, 2021
Amazing book a must read for all parents . Very informative and puts you at ease that you do what feels right for you and baby not what people and western culture tries to pressure on you.
February 5, 2024
Interesting book, but left me feeling guilty because I couldn’t pull off the co-sleeping and we are combo feeding. Some worthwhile information though.
July 8, 2024
It was ok. Nothing special.
The message of the book can be summarized in two sentences:
1.) Sleep with your baby
2.) Breastfeed your baby
The message of the book can be summarized in two sentences:
1.) Sleep with your baby
2.) Breastfeed your baby
February 24, 2016
This book was part of a preloved bundle I bought with the "baby sleep book" I really wanted. I read it later on, to see whether anything could be taken from that renown author.
I didn't expect much, neither something very practical, considering Ms. Pantley wrote her book to provide tips and tricks to struggling and dead-tired parents. But the whole thing was even more theoretical and an accumulation of statements than what I would have expected. What would almost make it funny is that Dr. Sears wrote: "Let me say at the outset that wherever all three of you (mother, father, and baby) sleep best and whatever leaves all of you feeling right is the best sleeping arrangement for your family". There were a few other similar instances of topics on which he claimed an open-mindedness regards whatever choice a mother or family might make. However systematically after that introductory statement, only one principle / one way / one model will be developed because this is how he and his wife raised their kids and it has the be the best ever. Only on the topic of schedule, does he show a completely open-minded view, which goes against the grain of many other paediatricians, and because this is what they did for their latest kid for which the "usual" schedule conflicted with her siblings' activities. There almost never are any distinctions on what would work according to the child's age, because the one and only solution to get your child to sleep is to put him in your bed and sleep next to him. If you do not sleep 11 or 12 hours at night and if that arrangement does not work for you, that's because you didn't do it right from day 1.
There are also quite many pages regards the natural benefits of breastfeeding in terms of child spacing and birth control, which made me roll my eyes endlessly. And it's not because parents won't have sex while sharing their bed with the baby, because one can get answers to how to do that in the book. Frankly what does this have to do with the topic of getting the baby and child to sleep! It should be in a book regards baby feeding and not his sleep.
The only section which I found interesting and better developed than usual was that relating to bed-wetting in older children.
Put up for sale immediately after reading.
Honestly I feel sorry for the poor sleep-deprived mom who'll read this hoping to get a good night sleep. She'll only feel more guilty of not having the right mothering instincts that should allow her to understand better her baby's needs, and of being humane and not the paragon of virtue that is depicted as the perfect mother here.
By the way, if you're not exclusively breastfeeding, do not even think you can read one page without blaming yourself for failing your child so thoroughly.
I didn't expect much, neither something very practical, considering Ms. Pantley wrote her book to provide tips and tricks to struggling and dead-tired parents. But the whole thing was even more theoretical and an accumulation of statements than what I would have expected. What would almost make it funny is that Dr. Sears wrote: "Let me say at the outset that wherever all three of you (mother, father, and baby) sleep best and whatever leaves all of you feeling right is the best sleeping arrangement for your family". There were a few other similar instances of topics on which he claimed an open-mindedness regards whatever choice a mother or family might make. However systematically after that introductory statement, only one principle / one way / one model will be developed because this is how he and his wife raised their kids and it has the be the best ever. Only on the topic of schedule, does he show a completely open-minded view, which goes against the grain of many other paediatricians, and because this is what they did for their latest kid for which the "usual" schedule conflicted with her siblings' activities. There almost never are any distinctions on what would work according to the child's age, because the one and only solution to get your child to sleep is to put him in your bed and sleep next to him. If you do not sleep 11 or 12 hours at night and if that arrangement does not work for you, that's because you didn't do it right from day 1.
There are also quite many pages regards the natural benefits of breastfeeding in terms of child spacing and birth control, which made me roll my eyes endlessly. And it's not because parents won't have sex while sharing their bed with the baby, because one can get answers to how to do that in the book. Frankly what does this have to do with the topic of getting the baby and child to sleep! It should be in a book regards baby feeding and not his sleep.
The only section which I found interesting and better developed than usual was that relating to bed-wetting in older children.
Put up for sale immediately after reading.
Honestly I feel sorry for the poor sleep-deprived mom who'll read this hoping to get a good night sleep. She'll only feel more guilty of not having the right mothering instincts that should allow her to understand better her baby's needs, and of being humane and not the paragon of virtue that is depicted as the perfect mother here.
By the way, if you're not exclusively breastfeeding, do not even think you can read one page without blaming yourself for failing your child so thoroughly.
October 3, 2008
In Nighttime Parenting, Dr. Sears sets out to provide answers over the conflict of whether or not parents should a) trust their parental intuition and console their crying child, or b) allow their child to cry it out. His argument, throughout the book, is that “meeting [a child’s] nighttime needs pays off” (xv); however, Sears notes that there are no easy answers regarding any aspect of child rearing, including nighttime parenting, but that overall, implementing principles of attachment parenting is beneficial to the child for the short and long terms.
To begin Nighttime Parenting Dr. Sears explains how principles of attachment parenting are beneficial; they include: the child’s improved self-esteem and the feeling that he is special, the child’s developing intimacy with people and learning to value people versus material things, the development of nurturing and caring qualities within the child, and discipline. Dr. Sears explains that the child who feels right will act right, and that when a child’s parents understand him and are able to read his cues, the child learns to trust his parents and himself. Additionally, Dr. Sears encourages parents to approach child rearing with gentle parenting techniques in order to benefit generations to come because a child will become a husband, wife, and mother or father (10).
For more on my review of Nighttime Parenting, please e-mail me at greenmamma@greenmamma.org
Thanks!
Jessica
To begin Nighttime Parenting Dr. Sears explains how principles of attachment parenting are beneficial; they include: the child’s improved self-esteem and the feeling that he is special, the child’s developing intimacy with people and learning to value people versus material things, the development of nurturing and caring qualities within the child, and discipline. Dr. Sears explains that the child who feels right will act right, and that when a child’s parents understand him and are able to read his cues, the child learns to trust his parents and himself. Additionally, Dr. Sears encourages parents to approach child rearing with gentle parenting techniques in order to benefit generations to come because a child will become a husband, wife, and mother or father (10).
For more on my review of Nighttime Parenting, please e-mail me at greenmamma@greenmamma.org
Thanks!
Jessica
September 28, 2012
This book is a good introduction to attachment parenting, and treatise on the path of least resistance and pains-in-the-ass for nighttime parenting. It is a bit repetitive (as if Sears wrote each of the chapters separately, or assumed readers would, including bits of information over and over in each, to make sure no one misses a thing). I tend to agree with Dr. Sears' principles, but, as in all of his books, he is extremely hetero-centric. I have never read a statement by him on same-sex couples parenting, but he tends to throw the "the father is very important" line around quite freely. This is positive in that it encourages fathers who think they get time off when they get home from work to get off their asses and do their fair share of parenting, but it also tends to sound like he might be the type to say that a lesbian couple couldn't do it for a kid the way a man-woman couple could. He is devoutly Christian as well, though he tends to do a decent job of keeping his religion out of his book, and he is very keen on the sacredness of marriage. However, as a spokesperson for attachment parenting, he's a very fine mouthpiece.
August 12, 2011
I read this book after having read "Attachment Parenting" by the same authors. There is quite a lot of material, and some specifically written for this book, though many of the sections within the chapters are verbatim to sections within the Attachment Parenting book (I don't know which is borrowing from which book though!).
No matter, it's a good book to recommend, especially to parents who are scared off by the term "Attachment Parenting". It reminds readers that to be good nighttime parents, we also have to be good daytime parents and that to get the most sleep we should Parent our Kids to sleep not Put them down to sleep. Moreover, they remind us that we have to find the situation that is best for us and not that our culture or friends suggest. Sharing sleep is ok, as are more "mainstream" sleeping arrangements (what many of us THINK we should do), so long as baby is "parented to sleep".
No matter, it's a good book to recommend, especially to parents who are scared off by the term "Attachment Parenting". It reminds readers that to be good nighttime parents, we also have to be good daytime parents and that to get the most sleep we should Parent our Kids to sleep not Put them down to sleep. Moreover, they remind us that we have to find the situation that is best for us and not that our culture or friends suggest. Sharing sleep is ok, as are more "mainstream" sleeping arrangements (what many of us THINK we should do), so long as baby is "parented to sleep".
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