Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home through Time, Moments, and Milestones

by Matt Chandler, Adam Griffin, Jen Wilkin (Foreword)

"Helps parents establish a discipleship plan to raise their children in the love of the Lord"--

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Family, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Discipleship, Faith

147 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 18, 2020

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Matt Chandler is the lead pastor of The Village Church, a multi-campus church in the Dallas metroplex of over 10,000 people. His sermons are among the topselling (free) podcasts on itunes and he speaks at conferences worldwide. Prior to accepting the pastorate at The Village, Matt had a vibrant itinerant ministry for over ten years where he spoke to hundreds of thousands of people in America and abroad about the glory of God and beauty of Jesus. He lives in Texas with his wife, Lauren, and their three children: Audrey, Reid and Norah.

Reviews

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my pride, I’ve generally avoided parenting books. Not because I consider myself a great parent (I’m not), but because I consider myself an educated one. I’ve simply thought, “What more is there to say on the topic?” I’ve heard the biblical truths, the creative ideas, the practical counsel. I don’t need more information or even encouragement; I just need resolve to *do* what I know, to practice what I preach.

Well, I was wrong. I badly needed this book. It is filled with fresh perspective and brilliant counsel. I’m so glad I read it. And if you’re a parent, you should too.

[Lance Crandall · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that tries to fill the gap in the lack of literature of actually constructing a family discipleship plan. If you are convinced you should be discipling your family, just jump to the 2nd half. INCREDIBLY practical and full of great ideas.

[Jennifer Squire]

A helpful framework for family discipleship. The authors encourage intentionality and flexibility, recognizing everyone’s life and resources look different. They provide a lot of practical helps and starts. A great first book if this concept is new to families.

[Bethany]

Audio.
I’m struggling to rate this book. It’s intensely practical and is a good read for any parent who wants to disciple their children at home (rather than relying on the Church to do that work). And yet (though it wasn’t the author’s intent) my takeaway was defeat that I’m just not able to do it all, or capably. And there is grace. But I guess I just wanted to feel like it’s possible.
Also I felt like there was mixed messaging: no parents are going to disciple perfectly, and you can do a good job and your kids may not accept salvation, but also, if you do it well your kids should accept salvation.
Maybe I just read this through my natural perfectionist lens...maybe the content was great and I need new glasses.

[Shelbie Withers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never write reviews, but feel compelled to for this book. I read it over the course of the past two days, and I’m convinced it is one of the most important books I’ll ever read. It is an instant treasure, and I know I will refer back to it for years to come. The framework presented in this book is simple and applicable to all family types and life stages. Most importantly, it isn’t something to add into your life, but rather takes everyday moments and pre-existing rhythms and shows you how to redeem those for gospel purposes. I cannot recommend this book enough.

[Noah Hosking · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 - listened to this and unfortunately I don’t think it helps my rating that I couldn’t stand the voice of the guy reading it. It felt like he was trying to sell me his road to 7 figure formula “times, moments and milestones”.

I think this is a great book for those who haven’t considered the earnest of family discipleship seriously prior to having kids. If you and your spouse are already convinced of the theological significance of family discipleship prior to children, you can probably skip this introductory book to something with a bit more meat. It was disappointing that the authors didn’t speak to male headship and the call to being a patriarchal father that seems to be littered throughout scripture.

That being said, it was full of great practical examples and advice for parents who are seeking to leverage as many opportunities as possible to disciple their children to the glory of Christ. I will be returning in years to come if I have children to revisit these examples.

[Justin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is okay, I guess (2 stars feels a little harsh, but it's literally the "it was okay" option). Most of the book seems to be introduction, which might read better for anyone new the topic but seemed like a long way to get started. The main portions -- on time, moments, and milestones -- feel useful, but sort of slim (and padded out with quotes and lists of scripture). This would probably be more convincing in a tighter format, which, of course, wouldn't be long enough to be a book.

I get why this one gets so many raves, but it's just not the book for me.

[Shannon Evanko · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will reference this one for a long time! It is filled with Biblical wisdom and encouragement. It has a host of practical suggestions for adding discipleship to your days.

I was struck by a line in the conclusion— “Only a fool plants an acorn in the evening and comes back in the morning looking for an oak.”

May we remember that discipleship is a daily call and will not happen overnight. What a worthy and high calling we have!

[Ivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Concrete and practical. Invaluable for families.

[Brandon Chan · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone looking for practical insight into parenting, the first half of this book was slow. The frequent mentioning of the importance of leveraging “time, moments, and milestones” without explaining what that means became more distracting than helpful. However, the second half of the book was filled with more tangible advice and purposeful examples that I would like to leverage in my future parenting style.

Cons: avoiding weaponized scripture use was mentioned but not further explored. Would’ve liked more thoughts on approaches to use scripture to gently correct within the context of the verse.

[Amy Hornbuckle · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extremely practical and encouraging read, particularly for believers who did not grow up with examples of discipleship in the home. Discipleship and pointing our households to Jesus is far more than reading a storybook Bible once a day, but truly making Jesus our everything, and seeing everything through him. This book is a great start on what that could look like.

[Christian Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book for the simple fact that it didn’t tell you how to parent. It gives a framework and ideas for what family discipleship can look like and what needs to be prioritized. I would recommend this book to book to anyone, maybe even especially those without kids, just as a way to help build a framework in your family before having kids.

[Rachel Segerstrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was an encouraging read as I consider the ways we lead and grow our family to be Christ-centered. Although I listened to the audio book, I would highly recommend a physical book. It’s packed with great discussion questions & applications that would beneficial to reference and revisit frequently 😌

[Angela Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredibly practical book on family discipleship for school age children specifically. Many times books will give a great perspective on parenting but lack in the practical “what does this look like in our home” or “here’s ideas to implement.” This has it all. Grace, scripture, practical application.”

[Jory Bayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a field guide for Christian parents seeking to disciple their children. It is visionary, gives examples, and provides plenty of practical ideas, tools, and worksheets. I plan to print out the worksheets and fill them out together with my wife.

[Hailey Holfelder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the thoughts, ideas and practical application of how discipling your children/family can look. Only 4 stars because I found the first couple chapters extremely long and repetitive and thought it could have been more condensed.

[Claire Johnson]

This is a great primer for those who are new to navigating the waters of discipleship within the home. It’s a quick, easy read and the guidance offered is not overwhelming. Parts of it felt very similar to the Family Teams mindset which I love.

If your home already has a culture of discipleship, or you already have a handful of Christian parenting books under your belt, I think you could skip it. But I would not hesitate to recommend to a new parent.

[Jason Deuman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will be very helpful to a lot of families. The authors provide good resources and guides for discipling families. Parents must be intentional in implementing these practices.

[Hannah Dietrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

The points in this book were well developed and support a key idea about discipling our children, that we must plan to spend significant time discipling our children at home because sending children to Sunday school or private Christian school Bible classes, or other children's programming options are insufficient to love and guide our children. I appreciated that it addressed that ultimately we cannot cause a love of Christ or a faith in Christ in our children's hearts and minds; however, we are responsible, as parents, to model for our children how we love Christ and have faith in Christ throughout positive and negative life experiences, large events, and mundane tasks. I know in my own experience, it is easy to think about big things I want to do in discipling my children, but to forget that while I work towards those big things, I am also discipling my children either toward or away from God based on how I handle those moments.

One of the key ideas that stood out to me was the importance of Milestones and Moments. They explained the benefits of creating experiences that are special, possibly traditions, and have mementos such as physical gifts, or sometimes include ceremonial Biblical practices like purposeful prayer. They bring up both the importance of planning for how we will disciple our children in the midst of existing traditions (what do we do in our existing cultural traditions that set them apart for Christ as well). And, what moments do we create purposefully for their discipleship qualities, such as a Coming-of-age tradition as a family, or a celebration and memorable gift around the practice of baptism.

Additionally, I really appreciated the significance of explaining `the importance of modeling apologies, confession, and being authentic with our children in relating our own growth and experiences in getting to know Christ more.

Overall, it was a good book. I ranked it at a 4 because I have read other parenting books that have shared the same or very similar ideas. Nothing was shocking to me, but it was good.

[sincerely · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard Adam Griffin speak about Family Discipleship on the Crossway podcast and I absolutely knew I wanted to read this book. Chandler and Griffin have co-authored a phenomenal book about leading our homes with a focus on glorifying God through the structure of time, moments, and milestones for the purpose of family discipleship. Wow, oh wow. I love this book. I love it all - the content, structure, guides, writing style, etc. The whole thing is perfection. This is absolutely my new parent gift from now on for all Christian mamas and daddies. Parents, get it now! Read it now! This is important and well worth your time, I promise ❤

"Since you cannot be sure when you will get the opportunity to speak life and love into your children, be committed to being available. When your children need a moment with you, you will want them to feel confident that your relationship with them makes you a safe person to be approached by....Make it a habit to have regular one-on-one interaction built around encouragement and checking in....If you want to be an effective disciple-maker, you have to be an effective relationship-builder." - Chandler, Griffin

"Most assuredly God will require an account of the children from your hands, for they are His, and only lent your care and keeping. The task assigned you is no easy one, especially in these superlatively evil days. Nevertheless, if trustfully and earnestly sought, the grace of God will be found sufficient in this responsibility as is others. The scriptures supply us with words to go by, with promises to lay hold of, and, we may add, with fearful warnings lest we treat the matter lightly." - Arthur W. Pink

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐+❤
I love this one and I plan on immediately rereading it!

[Emily Seaser · Rating 5 out of 5]

I see myself revisiting this book often in the coming years. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about imparting spiritual wisdom, knowledge, truth to my children. Beyond that, I want to show my children how to love God and others. I do not desire to leave the spiritual discipleship of my children solely in the hands of the church, but want to play an active, intentional, primary role in showing my children who Christ is.

A few key things I’m taking away from this book today are:
-modeling (show them what it looks like to seek Christ in your daily rhythms of life). Reliable (repentant integrity) and relatable (relational proximity).
-Scripture memory for me as a parent can be a way help foster discipleship moments in our daily lives. I want to memorize more scripture on specific topics to utilize as my kids grow up.
-how can you build milestones that celebrate and commemorate what God is doing in your life and family. We already celebrated birthdays, etc. how can we bring Christ into these events?

Chandler and Griffin do a great job driving home the important of discipling your children without making it feel overwhelming. I’m ending this book feeling encouraged and inspired to lead my children spiritually. I also see some applications in disciple relationships outside the “nuclear” family.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a parent. My church was reading this book for the summer and invited singles and people without children to join in. I decided to participate, because I was interested. I have read/listened to parenting resources for a multitude of reasons. Such as one of my calling is working with children and youths, both vocationally and in ministry.

This book has good thoughts and ideas. As a single and childless adult, I would recommend that any single and/or childless adult who reads this book may want to think about how they grew up. Whether the individual grew up in a Gospel-centered family or not, think about what your parents/guardians did that you liked and what you didn't like, what you wish they did more of. As well as think about how you can use the techniques or tips when you talk to children (even if you don't have children or don't want children!), such as nieces or nephews or friend's kids.

Overall, it seems to be Biblically sound. It discusses how modeling is a very important tool in teaching the Gospel.

[L.A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

My church gifted this book to us for Christmas this past year as a means of reaching out after a trying year of pandemic. Money well spent.

I’ve read many parenting books, but the great commandments are “To love the LORD your God…and your neighbor as yourself.” Rarely is there a parenting book that fleshes out a plan for discipleship. This book doesn’t attempt to dispel all the mysteries of parenting, and contrary to what you may think when you get started, they aren’t trying to offer some magic formula. I think most readers raised in any degree of a Christian home—and possibly any person from any home—will find the “framework” presented to be a logical course to follow for parenting. It’s just laid out so clearly and so well that I have actually been able to take what I’ve been pulling out of a hat on my own and fit it into a more over-arching, defined plan, which in turn has given me a stronger and more deliberate plan than I’d ever hoped for.

Took lots of notes to keep developing my game plan, but I’m sure I’ll come back to the book often. And this is definitely my new default baby shower gift!

[Anna McCleskey · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly wise and practical book sharing ways we can create distinct moments, habits & traditions that impart a culture of dependence, faith, and love for Jesus in our homes. My favorite quote to summarize what this book taught me: “There are a great many dangers to be faced in this world, and you must have the backbone to help your children face them with both tenacity and wisdom. Strive to trade self-centered fears and worries for God-centered trust and wisdom. Let courage and carefulness direct your steps as you labor to raise kids who will walk in the fear of the Lord.”

[Rachel Menke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wore out a highlighter on this book! As a children’s ministry director let me beg of any parents to read and work through this book on your own, with your spouse, and with other parents. There are wonderful practical ideas, theologically and biblically rich reasoning, and plenty of flexibility to be applicable to any home while also appropriately challenging to any family! I would also commend this book to anyone wanting a good book on discipleship (family or otherwise) as discipleship is so clearly defined and illustrated exceptionally well by Griffin and Chandler. This will definitely be at the top of my recommendation list for a long time!

[Nick Graeve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful + incredibly practical. Highly recommend this book!

“As for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” - 2 Tim. 3:14-15

Praying this verse would come to fruition in my children’s lives, with the aid of the Holy Spirit, the church, and helpful resources like this.

[Lauren Fee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in community with some fellow leaders at my church and we all really enjoyed it. It does a great job blending orthodoxy with orthopraxy. I especially enjoyed the quotes from writers and thinkers like Spurgeon and Elisabeth Elliot as well as the framework the book provided of discipling your children through time, moments, and milestones. My husband and I worked through several of the application questions together and plan to re-visit them in the coming months as our family undergoes a large life change. I would definitely recommend this resource to parents.

[Rohan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a simple book, but I think the reflection / discussion questions are where it's at (and I wished I had someone to discuss them with, maybe when Xavier is slightly older).

Some of the ideas are a bit random, e.g. give a knife to his teenage son as a "coming-of-age" present? but that's also what's good in that he just provides ideas, and you can pick and choose what works for you (and lots of ideas are provided!)

And I like his aim in making it a part of normal life, and even simple steps are going to be helpful. So someone read it, and let's discuss it together!

[Allison Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m really grateful for this book. A lot of authors claim to be gospel-centered, but realistically only apply the gospel to a couple sections of their work. This work is gospel-saturated, and is careful to walk parents through how to incorporate faith into what they are already doing, rather than adding grand burdens to their lives in an already too-busy world. In a time when many don’t realize their call to disciple their families (or are overwhelmed by it), this book is a needed blessing.

[Emma Vogel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book profoundly helpful and very accessible. There is a LOT of stress on the importance of family discipleship, which if you’re already buying into, may feel like overkill, but honestly, I think in the day and age we live in, it can’t be stressed enough. It’s a convicting and challenging read regardless of where you are on your parenting journey, but provides a lot of hope as well. I’m looking forward to my husband reading it so we can talk about it together!