CandiLand: Chapter 9

by Christian McLaughlin

The only thing scarier than children's TV? The people who make it. Television is the best, most glamorous, lucrative business in the world. That’s indisputable. But as anyone old enough to watch it knows, it’s also capricious, soul-crushing and rife with really creepy sexual exploitation. Here’s an industry the more wholesome the product, the more poisonous the process! With this long-awaited serialized third novel, Christian McLaughlin plunges his satiric skewer into the backstage drama of TV-G programming, where the right inoffensive, endlessly rerun sitcom can earn a network billions. Yet beneath the thin layer of cornball PC cheer bubbles a shocking, toxic stew of dysfunctional stage parents, pervy producers and the ear-splitting screams from a live audience of hysterical 6-year-olds. CandiLand is a scathing deep-dive into the Hollywood slime-pit, full of exquisitely damaged characters, blistering wit, and viciously keen observations that could only come from personal experience deep inside its disturbing and absurd twilight-world. Every two weeks, readers can look forward to a delectable fresh installment of this hilarious, provocative new work — which has already been optioned by Red Rover Films as an upcoming TV series, to be written and produced by the author. In Chapter Nine, Candi meets “her” new staff writer Ariel; CANDI’S COOKIE JAR creator Sunny is shocked by FUN-TV Sr VP Kip Whitman’s casting ideas; Ariel’s first day as a professional writer may be her last when she’s caught in excruciatingly uncomfortable crossfire between star, network and show-runner; and Candi has a sexy secret explosive enough to derail the entire series.

42 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 17, 2020