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The Chronicles of St Mary's #7.6
My Name Is Markham
Like a smaller and much scruffier Greta Garbo – finally – Markham speaks!
It’s Christmas and time for the first (and almost certainly last) St Mary’s Annual Children’s Christmas Party – attendance compulsory, by order of Dr Bairstow. Discovered practising his illegal reindeer dance and poo-dropping routine, our hero, along with fellow disaster-magnets Peterson and Maxwell, is despatched to Anglo-Saxon England to discover the truth about Alfred and the cakes.
In his own words, our hero reveals Major Guthrie’s six-point guide to a successful assignment and the Security Section’s true opinion of the History Department. And of historians in general. And of one historian in particular.
And, just to be clear, it is time travel, for God’s sake. Forget all that pretentious ‘investigating major historical events in contemporary time’ rubbish.
This is history without the capital ‘H’. Because this is the way the Security Section rolls!
It’s Christmas and time for the first (and almost certainly last) St Mary’s Annual Children’s Christmas Party – attendance compulsory, by order of Dr Bairstow. Discovered practising his illegal reindeer dance and poo-dropping routine, our hero, along with fellow disaster-magnets Peterson and Maxwell, is despatched to Anglo-Saxon England to discover the truth about Alfred and the cakes.
In his own words, our hero reveals Major Guthrie’s six-point guide to a successful assignment and the Security Section’s true opinion of the History Department. And of historians in general. And of one historian in particular.
And, just to be clear, it is time travel, for God’s sake. Forget all that pretentious ‘investigating major historical events in contemporary time’ rubbish.
This is history without the capital ‘H’. Because this is the way the Security Section rolls!
44 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 25, 2016
225 people are currently reading
2301 people want to read
About the author
Jodi Taylor
92 books5,489 followersJodi Taylor is the internationally bestselling author of the Chronicles of St Mary's series, the story of a bunch of disaster prone individuals who investigate major historical events in contemporary time. Do NOT call it time travel! She is also the author of the Time Police series - a St Mary's spinoff and gateway into the world of an all-powerful, international organisation who are NOTHING like St Mary's. Except, when they are.
Alongside these, Jodi is known for her gripping supernatural thrillers featuring Elizabeth Cage together with the enchanting Frogmorton Farm series - a fairy story for adults.
Born in Bristol and now living in Gloucester (facts both cities vigorously deny), she spent many years with her head somewhere else, much to the dismay of family, teachers and employers, before finally deciding to put all that daydreaming to good use and write a novel. Over twenty books later, she still has no idea what she wants to do when she grows up.
Alongside these, Jodi is known for her gripping supernatural thrillers featuring Elizabeth Cage together with the enchanting Frogmorton Farm series - a fairy story for adults.
Born in Bristol and now living in Gloucester (facts both cities vigorously deny), she spent many years with her head somewhere else, much to the dismay of family, teachers and employers, before finally deciding to put all that daydreaming to good use and write a novel. Over twenty books later, she still has no idea what she wants to do when she grows up.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 248 reviews
March 22, 2018
*** 3.75 ***
I love Markham! Anything with him in it is a fun read:) This time it is Christmas again and a quick jump to 9th century Anglo-Saxon England to discover the truth about Alfred and the burned cakes. Nothing impressive, just a taste of our favorite St. Mary's staff:)
I love Markham! Anything with him in it is a fun read:) This time it is Christmas again and a quick jump to 9th century Anglo-Saxon England to discover the truth about Alfred and the burned cakes. Nothing impressive, just a taste of our favorite St. Mary's staff:)
February 6, 2017
Friendly fire, indeed. I think this was one of the most charming of the Christmas stories that has come out of St. Mary's, and it's not just because I love the hell out of Markham. And as expected, there was plenty of pissing and pooping involved. My expectations are fulfilled. :)
Gotta love it. :) Never give up, even if the cakes are little pieces of char. :) The play's the thing! Just look at the pretty lights!
:)
Gotta love it. :) Never give up, even if the cakes are little pieces of char. :) The play's the thing! Just look at the pretty lights!
:)
October 3, 2017
Rating: irrelevant; you're on the bus or you're not.
Sheer Disaster Magnet heaven. Just what I needed.
Sheer Disaster Magnet heaven. Just what I needed.
February 6, 2017
4.5
"Hunter was dressed as Tinkerbell. I'm not sure what Tinkerbell has to do with Christmas, but you don't argue with her. Not unless you want a really, really clean colon."
As you probably know, I am addicted to Jodi Taylor and her brilliant writing style. Truly, I don't know how she does it but even before the end of the first page, I am hooked.
This festive short story is as we've come to expect full of humour and of course a pinch of history - this time king Alfred the Great and the 'Burning of the Cakes' episode. The difference is that we are given Markham's point of view (usually it is Maxwell) and what a view it is! I think Markham is one of the favourite characters (or are they all favourite?!). Anyway, to hear his voice and thus what goes in his head is hilarious, but also heartfelt, as we discover a little more about our security man and the way his department sees the 'historians'. Priceless!
More please!!!!
"Hunter was dressed as Tinkerbell. I'm not sure what Tinkerbell has to do with Christmas, but you don't argue with her. Not unless you want a really, really clean colon."
As you probably know, I am addicted to Jodi Taylor and her brilliant writing style. Truly, I don't know how she does it but even before the end of the first page, I am hooked.
This festive short story is as we've come to expect full of humour and of course a pinch of history - this time king Alfred the Great and the 'Burning of the Cakes' episode. The difference is that we are given Markham's point of view (usually it is Maxwell) and what a view it is! I think Markham is one of the favourite characters (or are they all favourite?!). Anyway, to hear his voice and thus what goes in his head is hilarious, but also heartfelt, as we discover a little more about our security man and the way his department sees the 'historians'. Priceless!
More please!!!!
December 15, 2024
I adore Markham. He's been bumbling around the periphery for a long time, but he always plays a crucial part in any St Mary's outing.
In this short story Markham has been tasked with being the back end of the Christmas donkey but before that he's got to make sure the historians don't get into too much bother in Anglo Saxon England as they settle a bet as to whether King Alfred really did burn the cakes or not.
Of course nothing goes smoothly including the panto but it's nice to see (and hear) Markham taking a starring role.
In this short story Markham has been tasked with being the back end of the Christmas donkey but before that he's got to make sure the historians don't get into too much bother in Anglo Saxon England as they settle a bet as to whether King Alfred really did burn the cakes or not.
Of course nothing goes smoothly including the panto but it's nice to see (and hear) Markham taking a starring role.
February 6, 2017
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
As people following my reviews know, I'm a huge fan of Jodi Taylor's The Chronicles of St. Mary's and the short stories we get every year are no exception.
Special about this one is that 100% of all proceeds go to Help for Heroes (a charity for British soldiers) and that this time Maxwell is NOT the narrator.
At first, I thought the latter would ruin it since I LOVE Zara Ramm's narration, but as it turns out, Piers Wehner as Markham (our favourite security officer) was bloody brilliant!
The story is about St. May's first (and probably only) Christmas party. Supposedly for charity but suspicions arise that Dr. Bairstow wanted some bonus pints for St. Mary's and was still on a godfatherly high. Anyway, as expected, the chaos magnets make a complete mess of the preparations so Max, Tim and Markham don't even mind too much that they are getting an assignment to check on Alfred the Great (before he was great) and to find out what really happened to the burning cakes.
It really was a great new perspective (Markham is a smart cookie playing it down and seems to have a very tragic/interesting background) and I was almost suffocating from laughter at all the mayhem and Markham's unique point of view.
As people following my reviews know, I'm a huge fan of Jodi Taylor's The Chronicles of St. Mary's and the short stories we get every year are no exception.
Special about this one is that 100% of all proceeds go to Help for Heroes (a charity for British soldiers) and that this time Maxwell is NOT the narrator.
At first, I thought the latter would ruin it since I LOVE Zara Ramm's narration, but as it turns out, Piers Wehner as Markham (our favourite security officer) was bloody brilliant!
The story is about St. May's first (and probably only) Christmas party. Supposedly for charity but suspicions arise that Dr. Bairstow wanted some bonus pints for St. Mary's and was still on a godfatherly high. Anyway, as expected, the chaos magnets make a complete mess of the preparations so Max, Tim and Markham don't even mind too much that they are getting an assignment to check on Alfred the Great (before he was great) and to find out what really happened to the burning cakes.
It really was a great new perspective (Markham is a smart cookie playing it down and seems to have a very tragic/interesting background) and I was almost suffocating from laughter at all the mayhem and Markham's unique point of view.
February 18, 2017
This was a really fun little story told from Markham's POV which was quite a change from Max (our usual main character for this series). Markham is on the security team for St Mary's and when the team sets up the Christmas party he gets into all sorts of crazy schemes! :)
December 27, 2016
3.5 stars really but only because it's a short story, I don't like giving short stories 5s because they are too short! :)
But oh it was great but it didn't answer the burning question from the end of the last one, so UGH!! I wanted answers! But good story and good to hear it from Marham.
Now I need the next book.
But oh it was great but it didn't answer the burning question from the end of the last one, so UGH!! I wanted answers! But good story and good to hear it from Marham.
Now I need the next book.
August 6, 2021
Another hilarious journey with St Mary's!
I love these short stories, it was cool to get one from Markham's perspective.
I love these short stories, it was cool to get one from Markham's perspective.
December 18, 2022
I love these short holiday Audibles from Jodi Taylor. Give me more!
February 4, 2017
Cute little story. Had a hard time trying to remember it was Markham narrating (and not Max, as per usual), but other than that, it was a fairly typical short little taste of St. Mary's. Fun for fans.
April 26, 2023
I laughed out loud more than once. A great way to start my day. A must read if you are feeling silly.
August 14, 2022
Entertaining short story seen from the POV of Markham - always fun!
April 3, 2021
Let’s start with no matter what happened in this books, Markham’s POV is such a great addition.
Incidentally the storyline is also amazing, while preparing for a kids Christmas party our usual team have a final task to be getting on with. Figuring out is Alfred the great actually burnt the cakes!!
Our usually disaster magnet behaviour as always follows to make probably my favourite Christmas story so far.
Incidentally the storyline is also amazing, while preparing for a kids Christmas party our usual team have a final task to be getting on with. Figuring out is Alfred the great actually burnt the cakes!!
Our usually disaster magnet behaviour as always follows to make probably my favourite Christmas story so far.
March 6, 2017
Another fun adventure from St. Mary's! This time from the P.O.V. of the wonderful Markham. Also profers some tantalising questions ahead of book 8
February 6, 2023
Gentiment barré, comme toujours
June 20, 2019
Anyone who loves The Chronicles of St. Mary's should not only read the mainly numbered tomes, but also these inbetween blow-bys. They are full of Jodi T's usual side-by, circuitous hilarity!
July 25, 2022
5 stars
Bloody brilliant. My favorite of the St. Mary's short stories thus far. Much as I love him, I was initially skeptical about our first experience from Markham's perspective. It obviously did not disappoint. My jaw hurts from smiling for an hour straight, and at a few points I even had to wipe away actual tears of laughter. Perfect way to end an evening.
I did accidentally get out of order and read the eighth novel before reading this short story, but it was probably for the best. After much to be desired in And the Rest Is History, this was a quick reminder of why this series is truly one of the best.
TL;DR
▌5.0 —One of the best I've ever read. Will be burned into my brain. Couldn't care less about weaknesses (if any). Would recommend to everyone and their mother.
4.5 —Loved this read. Will remember it fondly. Few weaknesses. Would recommend to anyone.
4.0 —Enjoyed this read. Will remember it fondly. Minor weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.5 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Might be memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.0 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Not very memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.5 —Neutral or Underwhelming read. Not very memorable. Significant weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.0 —Underwhelming or unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for the wrong reasons. Significant weaknesses. Might recommend to people who like similar books.
1.5 —Unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for bad reasons. Major weaknesses. Probably wouldn't recommend.
1.0 —I wish I never wasted minutes of my life on this trash. I would go out of my way to convince others not to read it.
Bloody brilliant. My favorite of the St. Mary's short stories thus far. Much as I love him, I was initially skeptical about our first experience from Markham's perspective. It obviously did not disappoint. My jaw hurts from smiling for an hour straight, and at a few points I even had to wipe away actual tears of laughter. Perfect way to end an evening.
I did accidentally get out of order and read the eighth novel before reading this short story, but it was probably for the best. After much to be desired in And the Rest Is History, this was a quick reminder of why this series is truly one of the best.
TL;DR
▌5.0 —One of the best I've ever read. Will be burned into my brain. Couldn't care less about weaknesses (if any). Would recommend to everyone and their mother.
4.5 —Loved this read. Will remember it fondly. Few weaknesses. Would recommend to anyone.
4.0 —Enjoyed this read. Will remember it fondly. Minor weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.5 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Might be memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.0 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Not very memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.5 —Neutral or Underwhelming read. Not very memorable. Significant weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.0 —Underwhelming or unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for the wrong reasons. Significant weaknesses. Might recommend to people who like similar books.
1.5 —Unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for bad reasons. Major weaknesses. Probably wouldn't recommend.
1.0 —I wish I never wasted minutes of my life on this trash. I would go out of my way to convince others not to read it.
March 22, 2018
[...]with the life expectancy of a frog in a blender."
Mr. Markham regarding historians.
Markham is one of the best support characters in this series! I've been looking forward to this story for quite some time because I really, really wanted to see the world, and St Mary's in particular, though his eyes :) He's just adorable and has the weirdest mind ever! And to know that the author almost killed him during book 1! Thank the God of Historians that there wasn't enough space for that scene. The world of St Mary's would have been a dimmer, duller place without him.
November 16, 2017
So much fun to have a book from Markham's perspective. And it's a nice story too - with the gang on a last minute trip before the Christmas party. And as always nice to have a story from these guys that is standalone and without too much peril!
December 25, 2022
Another hilarious installment of Christmas time at St Mary's!
This one can be read all in its own without any problems, no big spoilers to he found.
This time I enjoyed the Christmas party much more than the time travel bit, but boy did I have a good giggle or three!
This one can be read all in its own without any problems, no big spoilers to he found.
This time I enjoyed the Christmas party much more than the time travel bit, but boy did I have a good giggle or three!
October 22, 2017
So did Alfred really burn the cakes (or was it bread)? Better ask Mr Markham aka the back end of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
July 14, 2018
An amusing tale but overpriced for an ebook short story. Everyone comes off looking a bit less than heroic, and Mr. Markham isn’t as funny as usual. I enjoyed it because I am a super fan of the Chronicles of St. Mary’s.
December 16, 2022
Really starting to enjoy all these characters bur I must admit, Markham is a bit of a favourite! Highly entertaining short stories.
February 9, 2023
Fun short story.
September 26, 2024
It was interesting getting a Markham narrated work.
October 9, 2024
A fun Christmas story from the wackos at St. Mary's - this time told from Markham's POV.
March 2, 2026
Having Markham as the narrator was a fun twist, he has been a constant character for Taylor, but never featured, the only cast member shorter than Loveland, weird hair and indestructible. There were too story was fun, though lighter and less ominous than normal. I wasn’t familiar with the legend of Alfred and his cakes before, but I enjoyed learning more. As always, Max was wonderful. This was the first St. Mary’s story to recreate the humor I loved in the Time Police series.
February 22, 2017
Not as funny as I expected a book about Markham to be. Nevertheless, I loved to see a jump from a different perspective.
May 3, 2021
I loved that Jodi Taylor did a viewpoint from someone else and especially Markham's. This was such a fun story. I loved it
Displaying 1 - 30 of 248 reviews