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One Minute Crying Time
This vivid memoir by well-known New Zealand actor and novelist Barbara Ewing covers her tumultuous childhood, adolescence, and young-adulthood in Wellington and Auckland in the 1950s and early 1960s—a very different time—and ends in 1962, when she boards a ship for London to study at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. It draws heavily on the diaries she kept from the age of twelve, which lead her to some surprising conclusions about memory and truth. Ewing struggled with what would now be diagnosed as anxiety; she had a difficult relationship with her brilliant but frustrated and angry mother, and her decision to somehow learn Maori drew her into a world to which few Pakeha had access. A love affair with a young Maori man destined for greatness was complicated by society's unease about such relationships, and changed them both. Evocative, candid, brave, bright, and darting, this entrancing book takes us to a long-ago New Zealand and to enduring truths about love.
- GenresMemoir
337 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 10, 2020
12 people are currently reading
88 people want to read
About the author
Barbara Ewing
26 books57 followersBarbara Ewing is a UK-based actress, playwright and novelist. Born in New Zealand, she graduated from Victoria University of Wellington with a BA in English and Maori before moving to Britain in 1965 to train as an actress at RADA (the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art) in London.
She made her film debut in the horror film 'Torture Garden' (1967) for Amicus Productions, followed by 'Dracula Has Risen from the Grave' (1968) with Christopher Lee for Hammer Films. Both movies were directed by Freddie Francis. Her other films included 'The Reckoning' (1969), 'Eye of the Needle' (1981), 'Haunters of the Deep' (1984) and 'When the Whales Came' (1989).
The television role for which she is best known is that of Bradley Hardacre's mistress Agnes Fairchild in the Granada Television comedy series 'Brass', alongside Timothy West (1982–84). In 1986, she played Treen Dudgeon in the short-lived BBC series 'Comrade Dad', alongside George Cole and Doris Hare. In 1978 she had appeared in an episode of Euston Films' The Sweeney (S4-E7 'Bait').
Her 1989 one-woman show, 'Alexandra Kollontai', about the only woman in Lenin's cabinet in 1917 was a great hit in London, and at the Edinburgh and Sydney Festivals.
More recent TV appearances have included episodes of 'Casualty', 'Doctors' and 'Holby City' on the BBC, and 'The Bill and Peak Practice' on ITV, as well as appearances in various adaptations of Ruth Rendell mysteries.
She made her film debut in the horror film 'Torture Garden' (1967) for Amicus Productions, followed by 'Dracula Has Risen from the Grave' (1968) with Christopher Lee for Hammer Films. Both movies were directed by Freddie Francis. Her other films included 'The Reckoning' (1969), 'Eye of the Needle' (1981), 'Haunters of the Deep' (1984) and 'When the Whales Came' (1989).
The television role for which she is best known is that of Bradley Hardacre's mistress Agnes Fairchild in the Granada Television comedy series 'Brass', alongside Timothy West (1982–84). In 1986, she played Treen Dudgeon in the short-lived BBC series 'Comrade Dad', alongside George Cole and Doris Hare. In 1978 she had appeared in an episode of Euston Films' The Sweeney (S4-E7 'Bait').
Her 1989 one-woman show, 'Alexandra Kollontai', about the only woman in Lenin's cabinet in 1917 was a great hit in London, and at the Edinburgh and Sydney Festivals.
More recent TV appearances have included episodes of 'Casualty', 'Doctors' and 'Holby City' on the BBC, and 'The Bill and Peak Practice' on ITV, as well as appearances in various adaptations of Ruth Rendell mysteries.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
December 24, 2020
Dithered and decided on a 3.
It's a fascinating 'take' on the 1950s - the decade in which I was born but the decade in which Barbara Ewing is a teenager: the shame about sex, the racism, the sexism and the conventionality.
It's brave of Ewing to explore and share her adolescent diaries. Some images stay with me and her mother is so typical of the time: frustrated, angry, worried about the dangers of boys and sex and lost opportunities.
The last chapters were for me the most interesting: the names of prominent Māori, trips to Northland schools, working for Maori Affairs and the proximity, still, to the war.
This book is the one we needed to fill in the gaps in the novel A Dangerous Vine, the novel that made me aware of Ewing's more interesting past.
It's a fascinating 'take' on the 1950s - the decade in which I was born but the decade in which Barbara Ewing is a teenager: the shame about sex, the racism, the sexism and the conventionality.
It's brave of Ewing to explore and share her adolescent diaries. Some images stay with me and her mother is so typical of the time: frustrated, angry, worried about the dangers of boys and sex and lost opportunities.
The last chapters were for me the most interesting: the names of prominent Māori, trips to Northland schools, working for Maori Affairs and the proximity, still, to the war.
This book is the one we needed to fill in the gaps in the novel A Dangerous Vine, the novel that made me aware of Ewing's more interesting past.
February 7, 2023
Set in NZ during 1951 to 1962, the Barbara of the future (now 84 years old) tells her coming of age story, based her old daily dairies then occasional journal entries. The diaries she then burns? Barbara (born in 1939) grows up in Wellington, with family holidays at Maungatapu, near Taranaki.
After school certificate, she enrols in an Art degree, falls (at the age of 18) in love with a Maori man, then (self generated drama), misses an exam. To repeat her final year, she is sent by her parents, or maybe by just her mother, to Dunedin.
Barbara works in a kitchen, bashing pots, then after graduating, in Wellington Maori Affairs then Auckland Maori Welfare. At the end she wins a bursary to a prestigious acting school in London.
The narrative is in a twee English voice, in contrast to the NZ diary/journal entries. Barbara searches for connecting threads to help her answer "who am I?". She decides these threads are Maungatapu, her Uncle Harry and much later, her grandmother.
These are the ghosts or feeling in the room or that bit of her that defines her resilience and extracts a splinter of concrete in her heart. A pakeha with a Maori heart?
However, it's her puritanical, genius mother who plays the drum beat of Barbara's life. Her mother, whose behaviour is the source of Barbara's anxiety and insomnia and lodges the concrete splinter that almost destroys her daughter's life. Her mother, with whom Barbara cannot resolve/untangle and whose relationship with each other remains a mess.
Uncle Harry fought in WW2, I think, and suffers from PTSD, which is not treated, poor man. He reminds me of my Uncle Bob, who lived alone in a Bach at Wananaki, reading his daily diary about the war. He was one of few in his regiment who were not killed.
Maungatapu is where she spent her holidays, by the beach, near Maori settlements.
Her grandmother lives in Timaru, but despite visiting often, Barbara learns little about her.
The book interested me as my mum is exactly the same age as Barbara and grew up in Hikurangi, Northland, surrounded by Maori, then in Auckland with similar cultural norms. My grandmother called Maori niggers and mum was not allowed a university education.
Barbara was able, to some extent, step through these racist and sexist barriers. Was it the 60's, with it's uninhibited (compared to the generation before) music? Music was a big part of Barbara's life and, I suspect, another thread that wove a personal is political sense of what is right, into her mind.
Then the people with whom her life occasionally brushed. Amazing, inspirational people. A fortunate woman indeed.
She becomes engaged to a Maori man, whose relationship is a central part of her life. That thread is described then the foundation smashed to concrete bits.
Barbara wants independence and the security of a stable relationship, which perhaps her acting career or cultural norms or her rebellious spark or concrete splinter prevent, and remains unmarried.
There are a few, small, unclear, black and white photos in the book which are not titled, and are difficult to interpret.
The writing is at times compelling, internally driven, self reflective and critical. There's a lot of forward and back additions as well as side thoughts, which interrupt the flow.
There's passing mention of the political upheaval of the Springbok tour, but no mention if when the public signs saying 'no children, no dogs, no Maori' were removed. Her life feels self absorbed, sheltered and oh so conservative.
Barbara no doubt found this book hard to write and the reading, at times, does not come easy.
How tricky it is, during our teenage years, to forge an identity, to decide which values your parents hold are also yours, to make your first adult decisions, to experience sex and living away from home, to embark on a career. Barbara shows this well.
How closely identity can be linked to the landscape and vice versa. But for all her study of Maori at University, and her love of Maungatapu, Barbara only briefly touches tarangawaewae, the source of whenua, wairua and identity. To her it seems New Zealand is the backstage, backdrop, behind the scenes, dismantled at the end of a play, and not really an integral part of her identity at all.
After school certificate, she enrols in an Art degree, falls (at the age of 18) in love with a Maori man, then (self generated drama), misses an exam. To repeat her final year, she is sent by her parents, or maybe by just her mother, to Dunedin.
Barbara works in a kitchen, bashing pots, then after graduating, in Wellington Maori Affairs then Auckland Maori Welfare. At the end she wins a bursary to a prestigious acting school in London.
The narrative is in a twee English voice, in contrast to the NZ diary/journal entries. Barbara searches for connecting threads to help her answer "who am I?". She decides these threads are Maungatapu, her Uncle Harry and much later, her grandmother.
These are the ghosts or feeling in the room or that bit of her that defines her resilience and extracts a splinter of concrete in her heart. A pakeha with a Maori heart?
However, it's her puritanical, genius mother who plays the drum beat of Barbara's life. Her mother, whose behaviour is the source of Barbara's anxiety and insomnia and lodges the concrete splinter that almost destroys her daughter's life. Her mother, with whom Barbara cannot resolve/untangle and whose relationship with each other remains a mess.
Uncle Harry fought in WW2, I think, and suffers from PTSD, which is not treated, poor man. He reminds me of my Uncle Bob, who lived alone in a Bach at Wananaki, reading his daily diary about the war. He was one of few in his regiment who were not killed.
Maungatapu is where she spent her holidays, by the beach, near Maori settlements.
Her grandmother lives in Timaru, but despite visiting often, Barbara learns little about her.
The book interested me as my mum is exactly the same age as Barbara and grew up in Hikurangi, Northland, surrounded by Maori, then in Auckland with similar cultural norms. My grandmother called Maori niggers and mum was not allowed a university education.
Barbara was able, to some extent, step through these racist and sexist barriers. Was it the 60's, with it's uninhibited (compared to the generation before) music? Music was a big part of Barbara's life and, I suspect, another thread that wove a personal is political sense of what is right, into her mind.
Then the people with whom her life occasionally brushed. Amazing, inspirational people. A fortunate woman indeed.
She becomes engaged to a Maori man, whose relationship is a central part of her life. That thread is described then the foundation smashed to concrete bits.
Barbara wants independence and the security of a stable relationship, which perhaps her acting career or cultural norms or her rebellious spark or concrete splinter prevent, and remains unmarried.
There are a few, small, unclear, black and white photos in the book which are not titled, and are difficult to interpret.
The writing is at times compelling, internally driven, self reflective and critical. There's a lot of forward and back additions as well as side thoughts, which interrupt the flow.
There's passing mention of the political upheaval of the Springbok tour, but no mention if when the public signs saying 'no children, no dogs, no Maori' were removed. Her life feels self absorbed, sheltered and oh so conservative.
Barbara no doubt found this book hard to write and the reading, at times, does not come easy.
How tricky it is, during our teenage years, to forge an identity, to decide which values your parents hold are also yours, to make your first adult decisions, to experience sex and living away from home, to embark on a career. Barbara shows this well.
How closely identity can be linked to the landscape and vice versa. But for all her study of Maori at University, and her love of Maungatapu, Barbara only briefly touches tarangawaewae, the source of whenua, wairua and identity. To her it seems New Zealand is the backstage, backdrop, behind the scenes, dismantled at the end of a play, and not really an integral part of her identity at all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 13, 2024
Enjoyable listen as an audiobook. Really lovely to learn more about growing up in the 50s and 60s. Want to ask Mum some things after listening to this. Lovely story of resilience and coping even when given difficulties.
Enjoyed these statements:
You can see from their faces that life was not funny.
Britexit – like contacting an old girlfriend again…Hello, how are you?
Our parents gave us the gift and privilege of basic material security which seems to stay with you even if you don’t have much money.
Floppy fish – relax
The red shoes – decided to give a performance of it for the family. Rehearsed in the sea in our bathing togs, the water helped us dance and leap so gracefully, we knew how enchanting we were. We both absolutely insisted on playing Moira Shearer, so we performed it twice so we both got to say in arm waving anguish “Take off the red shoes”.
Stand tall, imagine you are wearing beautiful, beautiful diamonds at my breastbone, diamonds that I want everybody to see.
My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night, but ah my foes and ah my friends, it gives a lovely light.
Teddy boys, widgies and bodgies (ask Mum)
In this great longing, is there no one who will share it. There is no one more melancholy that he who yearns for his native land.
Enjoyed these statements:
You can see from their faces that life was not funny.
Britexit – like contacting an old girlfriend again…Hello, how are you?
Our parents gave us the gift and privilege of basic material security which seems to stay with you even if you don’t have much money.
Floppy fish – relax
The red shoes – decided to give a performance of it for the family. Rehearsed in the sea in our bathing togs, the water helped us dance and leap so gracefully, we knew how enchanting we were. We both absolutely insisted on playing Moira Shearer, so we performed it twice so we both got to say in arm waving anguish “Take off the red shoes”.
Stand tall, imagine you are wearing beautiful, beautiful diamonds at my breastbone, diamonds that I want everybody to see.
My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night, but ah my foes and ah my friends, it gives a lovely light.
Teddy boys, widgies and bodgies (ask Mum)
In this great longing, is there no one who will share it. There is no one more melancholy that he who yearns for his native land.
July 6, 2020
This is such a fabulous book that I loved so much and couldn’t stop reading. Barbara Ewing goes back in time using her diaries as a prompt to cover her early years in New Zealand woven in with observations from her present life in London and her visits back to Aotearoa New Zealand. I never realised before reading this book of her interest and knowledge of the Maori language and the fact that she studied it as part of her degree at university. It was interesting to note that only Auckland University offered Maori as a paper back in the 1950’s. And the attitudes of her parents towards her Maori boyfriend and the fact that they sent her away to Otago University to get her away from him for a year! It was another age.
February 20, 2023
A fascinating insight into coming of age in 1950s New Zealand, by renowned actress Barbara Ewing. The social mores, friendships and connections between Maori and Pakeha, and her tiny group of the reo Maori students at Victoria University. Loved it, and my 70-something mother thought it was excellent too
February 26, 2023
DNF. Couldn't get past the teenage years, found the format of describing the diary entries them reproducing then repetitive. Enjoyed the bits reflecting on how society/Wellington has changed, but they were outweighed by too much of the author's personal teenage experience. Enjoyed the writing though so may check out her novels
July 3, 2020
I would have liked a stronger narrative. It felt like a collection of thoughts and reflections interspersed with diary entries. I liked some of the diary entries, but there were too many and it broke the flow of the story.
January 17, 2021
A lovely, easy read. Leant to me by my dear friend Pauline. I enjoyed the historical narrative and especially the diary entries. It reminds me of how far we have come and also how little progress we have made in some instances.
April 4, 2021
I didn’t finish this before it was due back at the library but tbh it was no loss. I was struggling. Back in lockdown I wanted to read this after watching Barbara Ewing excerpt in the Auckland Readers and Writers festival online. It sounded great, she interviewed well, the beautiful cover grabbed me and the subject matter appealing. Sadly it didn’t really meet my overblown expectations. The reflection was two dimensional and I didn’t find her life story intersection enough to want to pick it up often enough...... hence I let it go.
July 20, 2020
I enjoy Barbara Ewing's novels and work as an actress. This memoir was interesting to me having grown up in 1950's NZ but left me wanting to know more about her later life
March 4, 2022
4/5 v newzealand n interesting
October 16, 2022
Listened to audio book. Loved it.
August 7, 2023
[Read for Puke Ariki Book Club]
Review to follow!
Review to follow!
January 19, 2023
Loved it, couldn't put the book down, was totally immersed from the get go
July 10, 2024
Book is good cover is terrible
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews