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Ripiro Beach: A Memoir of Life After Near Death
Does DNA write our destinies? Or do the hands that nurture triumph over nature? What is it that determines who we really are? Caroline Barron’s father never found his birth mother. After he dies suddenly on her twentieth birthday, Caroline develops an insidious fear of her own untimely death. When she nearly bleeds out on an operating table during childbirth, it almost seems her greatest fear is justified. Emerging from the experience a changed woman, Caroline spends the next six years poring over her family history in an attempt to make sense of her inexplicable rage. The family secrets she unearths threaten to destabilise her identity and carefully built life, eventually leading her to Northland’s rugged Ripiro Beach, where past and present dramatically collide. Ripiro Beach is a beautifully written, relentlessly honest memoir about one woman’s determination to gather the threads of a life that has come undone.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
349 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2020
9 people are currently reading
122 people want to read
About the author
Caroline Barron
2 books51 followersCaroline Barron is an award-winning author and sought-after host of literary events. Her debut novel, Golden Days (Affirm Press, Australia / Hachette, New Zealand, 2023), was praised by Woman’s Day as ‘a riveting read that also acts as a nostalgic ode to growing up in Auckland in the ’90s’. Her memoir, Ripiro Beach (Bateman Books, 2020), won the New Zealand Heritage Literary Award for Best Non-fiction Book.
She holds a Masters in Creative Writing from University of Auckland (2015) plus a journalism degree and, in a previous life, owned and ran Nova—a leading model and talent agency.
She holds a Masters in Creative Writing from University of Auckland (2015) plus a journalism degree and, in a previous life, owned and ran Nova—a leading model and talent agency.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
December 31, 2021
I've just turned the last page and to say I enjoyed it is a complete understatement. I couldn't put it down. I read it surrounded by people, I read it sitting in a gas station queue, I read it while stirring pasta, I read it deep into the night, and I read it first thing at dawn. I cried into a cushion in the sun, and hid my eyes from others when I had to. It is validating, brave, poignant, and memorable; a river of emotion, a twist of currents, all perfectly placed. Beg, borrow, or buy this book and read it. That's all there is to say. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
March 19, 2020
A very moving, beautifully written and close-to-the-bone memoir by a woman grappling with motherhood, loss, trauma and her own identity. Highly recommended reading for any woman struggling to reconcile the version of herself - as woman and mother - that she sees in the mirror with the version she always imagined she would be.
May 27, 2020
Ripiro Beach is a brave and honest memoir. But it’s so much more. It’s a detective story that shakes skeletons from closets as it unravels a deeply personal family history. It’s a shared history too. It takes familiar places but moves those settings across decades, different characters and cultures. The story is narrated in what feels like real time as the reader is moved along with Caroline on her journey.
This memoir is a reminder that we all have our struggles, even those who seem the most ‘together’. It sets a new benchmark for talking about mental health by laying bare the author’s journey to wellness following a deeply traumatic near death experience.
Part of that journey also considers a shifting of New Zealand culture. From ‘Billy T era’ jokes about Maori to a resurgence in people learning Te Reo and embracing lost Maori culture in a truly immersive way. Caroline describes an awakening and her desire to understand more of her Maoriness.
Ripiro Beach is both a setting and a metaphor throughout the book. The sense of drowning, sinking and being overtaken by the tide is repeated in the author’s beautiful prose. I cannot recommend a more inspiring and moving read for 2020.
This memoir is a reminder that we all have our struggles, even those who seem the most ‘together’. It sets a new benchmark for talking about mental health by laying bare the author’s journey to wellness following a deeply traumatic near death experience.
Part of that journey also considers a shifting of New Zealand culture. From ‘Billy T era’ jokes about Maori to a resurgence in people learning Te Reo and embracing lost Maori culture in a truly immersive way. Caroline describes an awakening and her desire to understand more of her Maoriness.
Ripiro Beach is both a setting and a metaphor throughout the book. The sense of drowning, sinking and being overtaken by the tide is repeated in the author’s beautiful prose. I cannot recommend a more inspiring and moving read for 2020.
August 16, 2020
A brave, enlightening, beautifully written journey of self-discovery - and one that will help many who are facing similar battles. There were so many times where I went, 'yes, yes, yes,' and perhaps this is where the story has its greatest power - to hold a mirror up to its reader to say that they are not alone.
June 6, 2020
What's the meaning of life? What happens when we die? Who am I? Which is more powerful - nature or nurture? These universal and intriguing questions have been discussed since the beginning of time.
In her memoir Ripero Beach, Caroline Barron explores variations of these questions and more as she grapples with them in her own life. Caroline experiences a near death trauma - setting off a series of physical, emotional, and mental consequences - after the birth of her second daughter. Chance comments about a daughter’s birth mark and deliberate news about her father’s birth combine with Caroline’s awareness that she is not the same person she was before almost dying.
Caroline eloquently provides a deeply truthful account of her story, with a vulnerability that makes it inviting for the reader. Her memoir is not a navel-gazing exercise that excludes. I found myself simultaneously turning page after page to know what happens next for Caroline and playing a movie in my head scene by scene of my own life - comparing similarities and differences - smiling and tearful in concert.
In the beginning, Caroline describes her existence, snapshots of time, in her words “wishing I could erase myself”, knowing things were not right, searching for solutions, realizing deep seated anger, and her inability to find contentment. With authenticity and rich observations, Caroline digs into her past to obsessively learn about her roots and to regain her wellness back. She leaves no stone unturned as she relentlessly, yet patiently, pursues understanding. Her honesty about relational pain, her own human mistakes, and her thought life is refreshing and relatable. Caroline follows the path back focused on death, then forward knowing there is more to her story and becoming content to live. By connecting to her people and land, Caroline finds her ability to be present.
Caroline uses clear language and perfect imagery beginning on page one. The poetic language expands as Caroline’s own language and understanding of her identity blooms. Personal photos anchor readers to her story. Learning New Zealand history and culture is an added bonus.
Nothing in this memoir is without meaning. You will cherish every minute you spend with Ripero Beach. And after turning the last page, don’t be surprised to find yourself considering Caroline while having a cup of tea, googling words or locations, and possibly booking your New Zealand trip.
Note I reviewed ARC for this book from Reedsy.
Book released June 5, 2020
In her memoir Ripero Beach, Caroline Barron explores variations of these questions and more as she grapples with them in her own life. Caroline experiences a near death trauma - setting off a series of physical, emotional, and mental consequences - after the birth of her second daughter. Chance comments about a daughter’s birth mark and deliberate news about her father’s birth combine with Caroline’s awareness that she is not the same person she was before almost dying.
Caroline eloquently provides a deeply truthful account of her story, with a vulnerability that makes it inviting for the reader. Her memoir is not a navel-gazing exercise that excludes. I found myself simultaneously turning page after page to know what happens next for Caroline and playing a movie in my head scene by scene of my own life - comparing similarities and differences - smiling and tearful in concert.
In the beginning, Caroline describes her existence, snapshots of time, in her words “wishing I could erase myself”, knowing things were not right, searching for solutions, realizing deep seated anger, and her inability to find contentment. With authenticity and rich observations, Caroline digs into her past to obsessively learn about her roots and to regain her wellness back. She leaves no stone unturned as she relentlessly, yet patiently, pursues understanding. Her honesty about relational pain, her own human mistakes, and her thought life is refreshing and relatable. Caroline follows the path back focused on death, then forward knowing there is more to her story and becoming content to live. By connecting to her people and land, Caroline finds her ability to be present.
Caroline uses clear language and perfect imagery beginning on page one. The poetic language expands as Caroline’s own language and understanding of her identity blooms. Personal photos anchor readers to her story. Learning New Zealand history and culture is an added bonus.
Nothing in this memoir is without meaning. You will cherish every minute you spend with Ripero Beach. And after turning the last page, don’t be surprised to find yourself considering Caroline while having a cup of tea, googling words or locations, and possibly booking your New Zealand trip.
Note I reviewed ARC for this book from Reedsy.
Book released June 5, 2020
April 4, 2021
I enjoyed this book and it was a quick read. However, despite it supposedly being a profound and personal read, it really just skimmed the surface of things to me. Even the parts where she was showing her vulnerability and how she was falling apart seemed sanitised - she shouted at her children and a speeding car! I also found the sections on her grandfather particularly unsatisfying - I would have expected the author to have at least acknowledged, or been curious about, how his Māori identity and the effects of colonisation might have lead to his incarceration (that seems just as important as the role of WW2, arguably even more). The same goes for her father’s adoption - Māori children being adopted into Pākehā families and losing all cultural and whānau connection has long-term and inter-generational effects but the author doesn’t even mention this (even though she does go in-depth on the trauma reading she has done by Pākehā authors). Rather, she presents the adoption system as benign. Talking about one’s journey to discover your Māori identity without talking about the role of colonisation seems a half-journey at best. So I got to the end thinking this was an enjoyable but somewhat unsatisfying read.
June 27, 2020
Ripiro Beach hooked me right from the first terrifying chapter. Caroline has just given birth. Caroline is drifting in and out of consciousness. Something is wrong, very wrong. Blood runs off the bed and forms a puddle on the floor…
We know Caroline survives to tell her story, and what a story it is. Her journey through an inexplicable rage, a world that’s lost its golden tinge and her attempt to understand what’s happening to her through an exploration of her adopted father’s family history; a history full of secrets and scandal.
What struck me most about Caroline’s memoir, beyond the beautiful writing replete with imagery, is the honesty. There’s a certain bravery that comes with memoir — that exposure of self.
A beautiful book inside and out. Immensely readable, thought –provoking, and did I mention it has lots of gorgeous photos? Highly recommended.
We know Caroline survives to tell her story, and what a story it is. Her journey through an inexplicable rage, a world that’s lost its golden tinge and her attempt to understand what’s happening to her through an exploration of her adopted father’s family history; a history full of secrets and scandal.
What struck me most about Caroline’s memoir, beyond the beautiful writing replete with imagery, is the honesty. There’s a certain bravery that comes with memoir — that exposure of self.
A beautiful book inside and out. Immensely readable, thought –provoking, and did I mention it has lots of gorgeous photos? Highly recommended.
July 14, 2020
I devoured Ripiro Beach in two sittings. It's a beautiful read, diving into fearful issues of trauma, memory, loss, grief, anger and pain. Caroline's language and voice made me want to slow down and savour every page, yet also speed through the mystery story of uncovering the truth of her ancestors and recent family. The questions around DNA vs. nurture, destiny vs. choice, were compelling and really gave me pause for thought.
A book that will stay with me a long, long time, I highly recommend you grab a copy for yourself, or for your sister, mother, daughter, or best girlfriends!
A book that will stay with me a long, long time, I highly recommend you grab a copy for yourself, or for your sister, mother, daughter, or best girlfriends!
June 1, 2020
An extraordinary book of self-discovery Barron faces the potential effects of intergenerational trauma by investigating those familial bonds that are part of what makes us and what breaks us. There is no age limit for figuring out who we are. It's the story within us, and I am so glad this one is told directly and not buried within fiction. Well done.
June 17, 2020
I don't think I've read a lot of NZ non fiction. It was a novelty to read a book and know every location referred to. I grew up in the same suburb as the author and live one suburb away from where she lives now. Plenty of life parallels. As for the story, there are parts where I felt almost uncomfortable at how exposing it is. It felt almost intrusive to be reading something so personal.
June 23, 2020
I loved this book and raced through it in a few days, rushing to learn more page by page about the fascinating history that the author was herself unfolding. I found the book quite emotional as I contemplated the triggers for feeling sad and whether we are our genetics or our life experiences make us sad. It was a beautifully written memoir and a delicious read.
July 21, 2020
A brave, personal, honest, raw and inspiring memoir. It shows the reader that no matter how much a person looks like they have got it together on the outside they can be dealing with so much more on the inside. Would love to have Caroline come to my library in the Waikato for an author visit, my book club ladies would love this.
June 21, 2020
This is a beautifully written, intense story of the author's search and understanding for many things in her life. Living in Auckland, and being familiar with many of the places she mentions, added another element to the book. A brave book.
July 23, 2020
Caroline Barron writes with feelings so well expressed the reader stands with her through her harrowing journey into, at last, the light. Ripiro Beach is a masterpiece, encapturing emotions that simply rip into you. Highly recommended.
July 9, 2020
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Went straight to Whitcoulls and purchased it after listening to a radio interview with Caroline. Did not regret my decision at all. Great book!
September 29, 2020
Beautiful. Evokes the northern part of New Zealand. Very impressive debut.
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August 22, 2020A beautiful book. Utterly honest and relatable. A searching story that spoke to me on many levels. #ripirobeachthebook @carolinebarronauthor
July 22, 2023
Loved it, loved it, loved it! So many emotions! An honest reflection of what it means to be human navigating all of life's unexpected turns, both good and bad. This book has inspired me to explore my own family history. I'm really looking forward to reading Caroline's debut novel 'Golden Days' next ✨️
May 27, 2021
Beautifully crafted, memoir lovers don't miss this fabulous read — a memoir and detective story wrapped up in a whole lot of honesty. I read this over a long weekend during lockdown and couldn't put it down. The author's turn of phrase and descriptive language is powerful, and her skill is evident in this multi-layered story. Not only is it an honest portrayal of motherhood, of one woman's search for her true identity, but by digging deeper (and sometimes the findings aren't pretty) Ms Barron exposes truths that many will find synonymous with their own lives. Dealing with the aftermath of a life changing event — a near death experience when giving birth to her youngest daughter — is only the start. This is more than just a recollection, more than a blow by blow account of the facts, in my opinion this is what makes this memoir stand out. Bravo!
May 4, 2023
Felt some feelings reading this one - hit close to home in a few places, particularly around dead dads and motherhood.
September 28, 2020
I have really got to hand it to Caroline here.... she put it all on the line! She completely opened up and was so vulnerable throughout. This book explores a deeply personal journey which I admire her strength to tell her story and Caroline’s writing style definitely took you along for the ride!
The book is quite a wave of emotions from her near death experience during childbirth and subsequent post traumatic stress disorder, spinal surgery, therapy, dealing with grief and loss and unexpected finds in her family history (a new culture, illness, tragedy, crime).
The past is important in many ways and it’s sometimes easy to forget this and just think ‘the past is the past’ and leave it at that. What Caroline unearthed felt healing and like it was helping her move forward in the present and look to the future.
As she develops her knowledge on her newly discovered Māori culture she goes out of her way to find what this means to her.
Her search for her ancestors and whakapapa was relentless. It felt like she was leaving no stone unturned. You have got to admire a woman on a mission!
On a personal note: I really connected with chapter 5 where she is going through her spinal surgery (I have had two of these within the last 12months). The drugs, the physio, the surgery, the brain fade... it felt like I could have wrote this chapter myself! Seeing her thoughts and feelings written down in a book validated my own which can be hard to articulate at times.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story Caroline. Truly admirable!!
The book is quite a wave of emotions from her near death experience during childbirth and subsequent post traumatic stress disorder, spinal surgery, therapy, dealing with grief and loss and unexpected finds in her family history (a new culture, illness, tragedy, crime).
The past is important in many ways and it’s sometimes easy to forget this and just think ‘the past is the past’ and leave it at that. What Caroline unearthed felt healing and like it was helping her move forward in the present and look to the future.
As she develops her knowledge on her newly discovered Māori culture she goes out of her way to find what this means to her.
Her search for her ancestors and whakapapa was relentless. It felt like she was leaving no stone unturned. You have got to admire a woman on a mission!
On a personal note: I really connected with chapter 5 where she is going through her spinal surgery (I have had two of these within the last 12months). The drugs, the physio, the surgery, the brain fade... it felt like I could have wrote this chapter myself! Seeing her thoughts and feelings written down in a book validated my own which can be hard to articulate at times.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story Caroline. Truly admirable!!
April 28, 2020
Rapiro Beach could well be my book of the year. But its not for the faint hearted. Caroline Barron takes us on a journey that's often raw and intense. She tells us of a life that probably looks fairly ordinary from the outside looking in.
This is a memoir which puts us in a prime position to share Caroline's family secrets and bestows us with an emotional experience few writers would be prepared to deliver. Caroline's beloved father never found his birth father but she is determined to unravel her history after he died when she was just twenty.
Her commitment to this task is kicked off when she almost dies from a massive loss of blood following the birth of her second daughter Hazel. This near death experience brings ramifications physical and mental which stay with Caroline for years, but eventually she breaks through the other side and recaptures the spirit which she used to be recognised for.
On the way through this journey her husband Jez, her mother, friends and her daughters all play a pivotal role in her recovery.
I don't think I have ever been drawn into such brave and passionate story. As already mentioned you can't read Rapiro Beach without absorbing the mixed emotions Caroline Barron shares with us.
This is a memoir which puts us in a prime position to share Caroline's family secrets and bestows us with an emotional experience few writers would be prepared to deliver. Caroline's beloved father never found his birth father but she is determined to unravel her history after he died when she was just twenty.
Her commitment to this task is kicked off when she almost dies from a massive loss of blood following the birth of her second daughter Hazel. This near death experience brings ramifications physical and mental which stay with Caroline for years, but eventually she breaks through the other side and recaptures the spirit which she used to be recognised for.
On the way through this journey her husband Jez, her mother, friends and her daughters all play a pivotal role in her recovery.
I don't think I have ever been drawn into such brave and passionate story. As already mentioned you can't read Rapiro Beach without absorbing the mixed emotions Caroline Barron shares with us.
September 20, 2020
I am excited about reviewing Ripiro Beach. I read it over a weekend and couldn't put it down. It has taken almost as long for me to write the review. I wanted to be deliberate you might say.
Ripiro Beach is Caroline's first published book- from the outset her writing style is poised and her story completely engages.
The trauma Caroline experiences immediately after childbirth is the spur for this story.
Ripiro Beach is Caroline's first published book- from the outset her writing style is poised and her story completely engages.
The trauma Caroline experiences immediately after childbirth is the spur for this story.
November 29, 2020
I felt as though I had picked up someones diary and really shouldn't have been privy to such intimate information. Couldn't put it down. Such raw emotion and the photos complete this incredible personal kiwi story.
September 27, 2020
Really enjoyed this. It was quite the detective story and set in region of NZ where I live.
October 8, 2020
Very moving story bravely told
November 22, 2020
An internal examination of trauma, which was both emotionally honest and gripping. Had me hooked in the first few pages. A really good read.
September 26, 2020
📚📚📚📚📚REVIEW (Māori Author) 📚📚📚📚📚
🐈: I THOUGHT SUNDAY WAS A SLEEP IN DAY
👩🏽⚕️: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Ripiro Beach by Caroline Barron (Ngāpuhi/Ngāti Whātua)
•
This is a memoir about life after a near death experience. Caroline nearly dies giving brith to her second child. What follows is her search for her identity and the meaning of her life. The following are parts that stood out to me.
•
Her father was adopted and she found out in her thirties that she’s Māori. Thereafter she spends time trying to quantify her Māori whakapapa, reducing it to fractions, and wondering whether she belongs. Quite perplexing for me, who has only experienced the fractioning as something others have tried to do “to me.” Even though I consider myself a latecomer too. But I have been so caught up in the fact that I can trace my whakapapa directly to Papatuanuku (55ish generations) that I’ve overlooked the fact that the last 4-6 or so generations kind of lost their way - fuck colonisation, right? These stark differences between Caroline and I remind me of teachings I had from Mason Durie about Māori living in diverse realities. We are not homogenous and we all belong.
•
The fractioning of whakapapa wasn’t the only math in this book. The other math was this obsessive calculating of how many years people in her family lived and what that meant for her own life. I could really relate to this as I often wonder what the early death of my mother and other whānau means for me.
•
This book is essentially Carolines quest to find out more about her whakaapa - and I admire how she stuck at it. Sometimes, actually, many times, I was just thinking how unnecessarily tough it was though. It was such an individual journey - with the community needed to uncover such a rich history somewhat overlooked. Though there seemed to be insight at times into this, for example, when she drove past the man she’d met earlier on the beach because she was going to miss a ferry. I wanted to reach into the pages and encourage her to follow more tohu (signs) and seek out the help of her whānaunga (extended relations). The beauty of having whakaapa Māori is that there are experts out there dying to connect us to one another and aid us on our journey.
•
I loved the deep reflection on anger. I enjoyed reading about another Mum experiencing the “yelly afternoons”, and one of my favourite chapters was when she yelled in Fruit World. So normal.
•
At times it felt like Caroline was minimising her suffering. I found this confronting - why the heck do we do this? I liked the passages about how she nurtured herself through with EMDR, pills and pilates.
•
A really brave memoir - being so vulnerable and open - embracing that learning from Brene Brown. Absolutely exquisite writing style - it’s what kept the pages turning for me. A bit of a slump in the story after the beginning but picked up again about halfway through. I loved chapter 39 and how it started to all come together - as you drove through our home and whenua discovering more of yourself with each turn. But I have to say that I finished hoping that there’s another half of this memoir yet to come. It kind of just seemed like you arrived?!
•
Kia kaha e te whānaunga! What a journey.
.
.
#catsofbookstagram #bookstagram #maorireviews #ripirobeach #nzlit #readnz #nzbooks #carolinebarron #māoriauthors
🐈: I THOUGHT SUNDAY WAS A SLEEP IN DAY
👩🏽⚕️: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Ripiro Beach by Caroline Barron (Ngāpuhi/Ngāti Whātua)
•
This is a memoir about life after a near death experience. Caroline nearly dies giving brith to her second child. What follows is her search for her identity and the meaning of her life. The following are parts that stood out to me.
•
Her father was adopted and she found out in her thirties that she’s Māori. Thereafter she spends time trying to quantify her Māori whakapapa, reducing it to fractions, and wondering whether she belongs. Quite perplexing for me, who has only experienced the fractioning as something others have tried to do “to me.” Even though I consider myself a latecomer too. But I have been so caught up in the fact that I can trace my whakapapa directly to Papatuanuku (55ish generations) that I’ve overlooked the fact that the last 4-6 or so generations kind of lost their way - fuck colonisation, right? These stark differences between Caroline and I remind me of teachings I had from Mason Durie about Māori living in diverse realities. We are not homogenous and we all belong.
•
The fractioning of whakapapa wasn’t the only math in this book. The other math was this obsessive calculating of how many years people in her family lived and what that meant for her own life. I could really relate to this as I often wonder what the early death of my mother and other whānau means for me.
•
This book is essentially Carolines quest to find out more about her whakaapa - and I admire how she stuck at it. Sometimes, actually, many times, I was just thinking how unnecessarily tough it was though. It was such an individual journey - with the community needed to uncover such a rich history somewhat overlooked. Though there seemed to be insight at times into this, for example, when she drove past the man she’d met earlier on the beach because she was going to miss a ferry. I wanted to reach into the pages and encourage her to follow more tohu (signs) and seek out the help of her whānaunga (extended relations). The beauty of having whakaapa Māori is that there are experts out there dying to connect us to one another and aid us on our journey.
•
I loved the deep reflection on anger. I enjoyed reading about another Mum experiencing the “yelly afternoons”, and one of my favourite chapters was when she yelled in Fruit World. So normal.
•
At times it felt like Caroline was minimising her suffering. I found this confronting - why the heck do we do this? I liked the passages about how she nurtured herself through with EMDR, pills and pilates.
•
A really brave memoir - being so vulnerable and open - embracing that learning from Brene Brown. Absolutely exquisite writing style - it’s what kept the pages turning for me. A bit of a slump in the story after the beginning but picked up again about halfway through. I loved chapter 39 and how it started to all come together - as you drove through our home and whenua discovering more of yourself with each turn. But I have to say that I finished hoping that there’s another half of this memoir yet to come. It kind of just seemed like you arrived?!
•
Kia kaha e te whānaunga! What a journey.
.
.
#catsofbookstagram #bookstagram #maorireviews #ripirobeach #nzlit #readnz #nzbooks #carolinebarron #māoriauthors
Read
October 27, 2025A beautiful memoir, written with such honesty. The author’s willingness to share such intimate parts of her life feels so brave. The storytelling is vivid though the quotes at the start of each chapter felt distracting rather than adding to the flow. The writing itself is strong enough to stand alone without them. It’s a courageous book.
July 14, 2024
This writer has a way of having you being part of her journey. I really related to her connections with mental well-being, the earth, the sea and the sky and trying to find out were she belongs with her Ancestors. Such a beautiful read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews