Natalie

by Keana Aguila Labra

Natalie is reflection & introspection after sudden loss. While this loss is sudden to the speaker, in reality, the subject, Natalie, has been dead for two years. Grappling with grief & the bitterness of not knowing, Natalie is overall an ode of love dedicated to a young, bright woman taken from the world way before her time. A portion of all profits from the sale of this microchapbook will be donated to Trans Lifeline. Published by Nightingale & Sparrow, 2020

Genres: Poetry

15 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 24, 2020

About the author

Keana Aguila Labra is a Cebuana Tagalog Pilipinx poet & writer in diaspora residing on stolen Ohlone Tamyen land, also known as San Jose, California. They work to provide a safe literary space for underserved & underrepresented communities as the Co-Founder & Co-Publisher of the BIPOC/LGBTQIA+ focused Sampaguita Press, & Co-Editor in Chief of Sampaguita Press’ magazine imprint, Marías at Sampaguitas.

Outside of Sampaguita Press, Keana served as the co-Assistant Director of the Santa Clara County Youth Poet Laureate Program alongside Director and 2020-2021 Santa Clara County Poet Laureate, Janice Lobo Sapigao from 2021-2024. In Oct 2021, Keana served as Honorary Santa Clara County Poet Laureate alongside poet Lorenz Mazon Dumuk.

Keana was formerly a book reviewer with City Book Review, and in 2021 was a fellow for the Kearny Street Interdisciplinary Writer's Lab.

In addition, Keana was formerly the Interview Lead for the Walang Hiya Project, an arts collective centering Filipinxaos of marginalized genders & LGBTQ+ folks, & a Barangay Tanod intern with the Bayanihan Center in San Francisco.

Reviews

[Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poetic interlude dwelling on a moment of nostalgia: "I envelope you in the honey of / fragmented past," while "thinking of you & how / old you would have been" ("Natalie"). In sitting with the grief, there is an opening to a fuller understanding: "It was never about what we / deserve" ("The Space Between You and I"). This lovely little microchap is donating a portion of profits to Trans Lifeline.

[Lynne Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This brilliant collection is an exploration in love, grief, and loss. It is learning to get out of bed again, how to continue again, how to allow yourself permission for time to go forward when you are not ready to leave a loved one behind.

My favorite line, “What could I have done/to convince you/to press forward/with/me.”

Beautiful collection.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a haunting of a lingering presence felt throughout these 2 poems: “the lack of you hovers, its staleness/ scraping my lungs.” Within this small amount of space, Keana Aguila Labra captures grief and loss through two lenses: “the honey of/ the fragmented past, but / this anchoring guilt will linger.” Beautifully written and heartfelt.

[Nikki Basas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not know how much I needed these words until I read them.

"Natalie" honors the memories and effects of loss. It is a mirror that reflects back a deep part of my soul in words so beautifully strung— a validation constantly and silently sought, finally found. I see myself reaching for these poems again when I seek validation & grounding in moments of unrest over life's what-could-have-beens.

In "Natalie," I felt the presence of a community of individuals who once thought themselves alone. "Natalie" is beautiful and Ate Keana Aguila Labra brings stunning visibility to the Filipinx-American literary community.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm no good at reviews but, Keana Aguila Labra's Natalie is hands down one of the best picks of poetry I’ve read this year! Keana does such a stunning job of capturing the endless grip of grief and nostalgia “this anchoring, this guilt will linger: what could I have done to convince you to press forward with me” I'm in awe at this small collection of poetry that packs quite the emotional punch, usually only in just a few words: “disbelief & truth seek to make a home out of me while I do the same with your memory." My heart feels so full after reading this and I can't stop rereading this, I can't wait to read more of her work, well done-- I truly loved this. 5/5

[Melissa Boles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Natalie is a stunning swallow of poems, easily devoured in a single breath that will leave you longing and desperate for more. Labra’s poems are crisp and engulfing. There are several stanzas that will leave you startled and reaching - one of my favorites is:

If I close my eyes,
you’re here with me.
I fight thoughts of which
you would not condone.
I exit elevators unsure of my place.

You’ll enjoy the regret and love stepped into the words of this gorgeous collection.

[Robin Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

My god, so beautiful and so heartbreaking.

Keana Aguila Labra captures and translates something raw and intangible in mourning and gives it a solidity that is comforting. This is an exceptional chapbook.

[Erin Kong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful, intimate work by Keana Aguila Labra. I am moved immensely by the author's vulnerabilities and sensitivities. It's such a intimate peek into intense, stunning imagery.

[Nashira de la Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

...okay you know that feeling of how you read a book by an author, and you're so enamoured by their prose that you feel like,, i can't go back to the real world not yet at least!!!

so I came back to Natalie after re-reading No Saints because, Keana is a literary icon, but also can we talk about how charming these little micro-chapbooks are?! Nightingale & Sparrow kinda went off a lil with them lol

anyway. these poems hit different in the pandemic. this was a really comforting read, petting those feelings of grief that are still fresh in my heart. I can feel the aching sense of love in these poems, and connecting this to the loss I've experienced in the last year and a half feels... cathartic, comforting.

I'll look for you in the leaves
& your laugher in the
wind. You never left.
Perfect and preserved ...

I don't know Natalie, but I want to love her after having read these poems.

daghang salamat, Keana. your poetry is healing 💗✊🏽

[*.✧ m i k h a ✧.* · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a bittersweet collection with lines that punch you in the chest when you least expect it. So beautiful :')