"Bad Medicine: Catching New York's Deadliest Pill Pusher" by Charlotte Bismuth was a tough book for me to read, I'd put it off for a long time and even then I was hesitant to open it and get started. It became a part of my ongoing therapy to be able to sit down and read/listen to it. I chose the audible version because reading the words myself would have been too much, I thought. You see the book is all about a "Pill Pusher" a legal drug dealer, an MD who was arrested and charged with homicide after two of his patients died after taking the drugs he overprescribed from the "Pill Mill" he ran in New York City.
I know what these patients went through prior to their death, in fact I've been in this exact situation and struggled with an opioid addiction for over 20 years. Like most of the patients Bismuth highlights in the book, I wasn't looking to get high I was hoping to relieve the endless and severe pain I was living with after an accident that broke my neck and back! The vulnerability you, as the patient find yourself in and the willingness to do whatever and I mean whatever to stop the pain is what drives these Dr. Deaths to do what they do. I always had a valid prescription and never thought of myself as a drug addict, hell I wasn't meeting strangers on the street corner or in a dark alley, but I had over 10 doctors and 8 pharmacies that I "worked" to get the amount of pills I needed. This was in the 80's and 90's when insurance wasn't paying attention and doing all this was easy. I believe it's no longer possible to play the game as I did, which is a good thing. I don't know why I'm still breathing and living my life, I really shouldn't be after several attempts on my own life and the accidental overdoses that didn't take me. I'm one of the lucky ones, but reading this book brought back so many memories of those I got to know through my experiences that are no longer here!
Dr. Stan Li an anesthesiologist and pain management doctor is a "Pill Pusher" in New York City and with the help of a whistleblower he's been investigated and arrested. The book follows the investigation and trial of this monster. He would write the prescription and put the $150 cash he charged each patient into his pocket, then bill Medicare. No matter how many pills or prescriptions he gave someone he always gave them more, if they could pay. These "Pill Mills" are very common and if you're a chronic pain sufferer you've most likely been to one. I ended up at one purely by mistake, since I had good insurance I didn't need to go to one of these places, but when trying to find a new pain management doctor in a new town I was directed to one of these house of horrors and instantly knew I was not where I belonged, but if you don't have insurance you don't have many choices and like I said you'll do whatever it takes to stop the pain.
The book digs deep into the backgrounds of some of these patients and how normal everyday people are taken advantage of by these doctors and the trial transcripts and documents are fascinating. I found the book heartbreaking, but I'm coming from a very different perspective than many. What the author does is highlight a constant and growing problem in the States, not only with the opioid crisis, but with the people we trust to treat us and how some are using those most vulnerable to make an extra dollar. This is the story of just one of these docs, but even with all he did to harm others had it not been for a single brave whistleblower this monster would most likely still be killing today. The whole US war on drugs and how it handles the opioid crisis infuriates me, but that's for another day.
I'm glad I finally got to this book. It was hard to listen to and it did bring back some tough memories, but it also highlighted the need to continue my fight for safe and adequate pain relief for chronic pain sufferers. I am a Pain Warrior and still live in constant, unrelenting, severe pain, but I now manage it with an implanted pain pump that my team of amazing pain mgmt. doctors monitor and fill regularly. I have no control anymore on how much I get or when I get it, it's all regulated for me. I only wish this were an option for everyone who suffers! The book is shocking and if you've never experienced having to use opiates or living in pain, this is a great wake up call to how pure greed has taken over sound, quality medical care, how the opioid manufacturers have made billions off the lives off the most vulnerable and what happens when a system fails the innocent. Happy Reading!