letters to the person i was

by Sana Abuleil

Sana Abuleil presents a poetry collection of forgiveness, reflection, and self-love. 

Letters to My Younger Self is a poetry collection about the past, the present, and the future. It is a compilation of every word Sana wishes someone had said to her when she was a young girl. When she was struggling. Falling. Breaking. Bleeding. It is a reflection of the responsibility she feels to say these words to everyone waiting to hear them. Consisting of four chapters titled "the naivety," "the refusing," "the understanding," and "the growing," the collection is meant to take the reader on a journey of pain and hope, reinforcing the idea that life is still worth living. That life is always worth living. 

Genres: Poetry, Mental Health, Memoir, Nonfiction

146 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 15, 2021

Reviews

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to #NetGalley for the copy of this book. It means so much to me to read a heartfelt poetry collection by a new author and I am so glad I got a chance to get to read this book on time. I am currently going through some similar issues that are mentioned in this collection and I am somehow feeling humane that there are others who feel the same.
Even though I appreciate the themes tacked in this collection is important and need to be discussed and expressed, I felt like most of the lines kept me hanging. Maybe it's just the style of the author or maybe the lines needed to be complete like that.
However, I will be looking forward to more such collections by the author. I could relate so much with her.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of poetry was absolutely phenomenal from the time I placed this book in my hands and started reading it I fell in love! The writing really spoke to me in many volumes and I felt like I really could connect with the poet. I loved the bits of artwork that were inside of it as you read it. The writing as a whole inspired me during the time in my life that I’m going through right now. I feel like more people should read it!

[Siqahiqa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sana Abuleil blamed herself for the terrible thing that happened when she was a little girl. After 12 years, she finally realized that she was not responsible, she tried her best, and she needed to put herself first. This book is a book where she put all behind her. It is then the learning process for her about healing, means to forgive, to move on, and love. This is the author's letters to her younger self.

The book contains four chapters: The Innocence, The Refusing, The Understanding, and The Growing. I love how she can describe her emotions through poems, and I could connect to the author in some of the writings. However, poetry is not easy to read, and I found myself rereading some of the pages because it was not easy to follow and understand when the poems are long. I got confused with the book theme while reading these 222 pages of the poetry collection. And I think this is more like a journal expressing her own emotions in an unstructured way rather than a poetry book.

I was quite sorry because I want to entirely like this book. It was a decent read but didn’t work immensely well for me. Nevertheless, I will look forward to more collection by this author in the future.

Highly recommend this book to anyone who can be related to the idea of heartbreak and healing. You’ll learn to be okay with it all, but also realizing that not okay is okay, too. Please be reminded that this is not a poetry collection that you can read in one sitting.

I shared some of the excerpts that I liked from this book. Swipe next to read. instagram.com/siriusiqa

Rating: 3/5 ⭐️

📖: @scribd

[Shealea · Rating 4 out of 5]

my poems are all
starting to sound the same.
they blur into each other
the way the traffic lights do
when they reflect on the street
after a rainstorm
and the whole city
lights up at night
and it makes sense
because lately it's
been rainstorm after rainstorm
so why wouldn't these words
get washed into each other?
but i'm worried
that this isn't just happening here
on paper
i'm worried
that it's happening
inside me too
because it's getting a little hard
to tell the difference
between feeling too much
and not feeling at all
so it's kind of like these late-night rainstorms
except the only difference is
there are no coloured lights inside me
to ease the darkness
but i'm still writing these poems
even though they're all the same
because maybe you need to hear me tell you
it will be okay
in a hundred different ways
until you start believing it
so here's another poem

I have no particularly strong feelings about letters to the person i was, that is, I neither adored nor hated this poetry collection. Nonetheless, I found this little book to be quite refreshing: a much-appreciated breath of fresh air from all the romance-centered poetry found in most contemporary collections. A nice, warm hug even.

I really think that I read this collection at the perfect time. Some of the pieces really resonated with me, and I was able to connect with them in ways that truly surprised me. Many of them were centered on self-love and self-healing, and these are themes that are so, so important. I loved the ringing sincerity of Sana Abuleil's works, and I loved the hopefulness shining throughout this poetry book.

Although some of the poems in letters to the person i was fell flat, the collection still boasts some pretty thoughtful pieces that are perfect for self-reflection. letters to the person i was is not the best poetry I've come across, but I do think that it makes a great read if you're feeling blue, if you're feeling lonely, or if you generally just need some comfort.

Recommended!

* I received a digital ARC of this book from the publisher (via NetGalley) in exchange for an honest review.

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a poetry collection in the popular modern style of journal poetry, very self focused and not exceptionally poetic. The style of all of the poems was fairly similar, leading to a kind of run-on journal feel of it about the author's life. Little color sketches accompany some of the poems. Some readers may enjoy the poems because they relate to them, but it feels so personal that it doesn't feel relatable, yet it feels so impersonal that the reader doesn't feel much empathy either. Not a lot of poetic devices are used here, just free verse poetry about her life and unhappiness for the most part.

Trigger warning-- self harm. There are other minor triggers too, but this is a big one from the start.

I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.

[Roban · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book, not because I took the time to analyze every poem or understood every word she wrote, but because she told her story so beautifully and healed from it. I hope that I can write my story like this some day.

[Neriah · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I don't love you like
lungs love air because
I don't love you like necessity
I love you like privilege."

Andrews McMeel has done it again! NO ONE, absolutely, NO ONE gave this book the right to wrench my heart out! I have never read a poetry collection which is utterly raw and honest with the emotions each poem bleeds. This poetry collection explores wounds, healing, forgiveness, reflection, self-love and love. Consisting of four chapters titled "the innocence," "the refusing," "the understanding," and "the growing," the collection is meant to take the reader on a journey of pain and hope, reinforcing the idea that life is still worth living. That life is always worth living.

There were three aspects that I am always critical about in a poetry book: font, length and the metaphors used. I had little issues with font and found it in sync to the theme which is also the title of the poem, "letters to the person i was'. I usually do not enjoy long poems because there are only a few people who are talented enough in keeping the essence of the poem throughout the length instead of giving it a repetitive and incomplete vibe, that just doesn't work out well with me, but Sana has done an explicable job in penning long poems that flow in ease (not so easy mentally.) They feel complete which gives the reader a moment to take in the entirety of the poems and the thoughts firing away in your mind, to calm down. Maybe it is because of the metaphors used which are new in so many ways. There is a uniqueness in every poem in a way that I didn't expect. Each poem is unequivocally thought-provoking and heart-wrenching!

This isn't just the author's letters to her younger self, this is all our letters to our younger selves. The experiences behind each poem must've been different from our own experiences but it unites us with the emotions flowing through them. Sana has done an applaudable job with this collection! I loved this tear-jerking collection and it brought so many personal issues to the right perspective. I will be keeping an eye out for her future works! This book goes straight out to be the second-best read I had this year and the first-best poetry collection!

Recommended: C'mon, my review screams that I recommend it! What are you waiting for? Get this book already! This collection might be the one that you never thought you needed until you read it...

[Macarena (followed that rabbit) · Rating 3 out of 5]

may your sadness
be your north star
may it help you
find your way back
to tomorrow
may it act as your parachute
not your anchor.
feel it
but don't let it take you over.
learn to love it
accept it
but don't let it build a home
inside you.

~This ARC has been gently provided in exchange for an honest review~

This is a very personal compilation of poems, divided in four chapters representing different stages in the author's life. The poems are about difficult and very sad moments in her life, and how, through the years, she learns to live with the sadness, and finally, move on.

[Nicay · Rating 4 out of 5]

"...You are whole
and full
you are two sides of a coin
black and white
wood and fire
perfect
and imperfect
I want to tell you more than anything
that good people stay
but they don't
and you don't need them anyway."

[Narmeen · Rating 3 out of 5]

you'll turn to eveyone
who's hurt you
and say
“have you seen my blame
my guilt
my damage?
have you seen all the things
i found digging through dirt?
and would you call it treasure?”
no matter what they say
the answer is yes.
yes. yes. yes.
i would call it gold.

It is in our nature to crave love. To be in love, to love and be loved. It is in the seeking of this love where we give ourselves heartaches. You know we can tell our younger selves that there is a wrong way and a right way to love but our younger selves will still chose the path of pain. It’s like we want to make mistakes so we can grow with that pain and eventually turn it into hope. That turning it into hope part takes a while though, it comes easy to some and not so easy to others.

I would go as far as to say even those that are spared the heartbreak of loving the wrong person, go through the same learning process. It is not the person that’s wrong but our approach to the relationship and how we define our self worth. The constant thought of feeling validated by a human being in that manner is actually just dopamine playing games with us. Even the right kind of love is ample opportunity for heartmending lessons, so why go through multiple bad choices to finally land on the right answer?

These letters to me a few years ago, would have shattered my heart. I would have dug a deeper hole of depression for myself. Even when there was light at the end of the tunnel (this book), I would have only fallen into further despair. In retrospect, I feel quite detached with those emotions of my past self. Being loved the “right” way makes me see relationships as practical bussiness contracts. To someone on the outside this may seem dull and lacking in romance but the truth is there is more romance in compatibility and loyalty than there is in lust.

Approach this book with caution. It’s hopeful in a very depressing way.

[Hristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

This poetry collection had its relatable moments, emotional ones too, and though I empathized, I didn't feel connected to what was expressed on the page. I really wish I liked it more, especially because of how personal the collection seems to be. It was a decent read, but it didn't quite work for me.

*Copy received through NetGalley
*Rating: 2/5 stars

[Medeia Sharif · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solid poetry collection with reflections on experiences, emotions, relationships, and self. The poems varied in degrees of rawness. I appreciated my time inside the author’s head, heart, and words. I read this via NetGalley, courtesy of the publisher.

[Nico Nico Ni · Rating 2 out of 5]

Became too dramatic, i still have the same questions. 😒

[Janina Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this poetry collection. The way it is written is so refreshing. Would read again

[irene ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

three stars only because i've had bad days and i cried.


*Note: I received a copy via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Artep · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book is exactly what it says on the tin - letters/poems the author is writing to younger iterations of herself - and yet it's exactly this that confused me while reading it and makes me not really know how to review it now.

First off, I'm unsure about how I feel about
calling
chopped-off sentences
with no real rhyme
or structure
(yes, yes,
free verse)
poetry,
but I do sometimes find them effective, both in this book and in general.

It was more the content that made me unsure of who this was meant for and where it was all going. The letters are sorted chronologically, but some of the earlier ones seem a bit too heavy to be messages to a 12-year-old girl (or maybe I'm just insensitive and underestimating kids?). They were deeply personal but also frustratingly abstract (is this a cop-out? or is it art?). They were, after a while, slightly repetitive, and uniformly depressing.

And then, suddenly...

my poems are all
starting to sound the same
they blur into each other
...
but i'm still writing these poems
even though they're all the same
because maybe you need to hear me tell you
it will be okay
in a hundred different ways
until you start believing it

... extremely meta:

i'm sorry that everything
you've read thus far
has been heart-wrenching.
i don't think i'm being fair.
life hasn't been all that bad
even though i've painted it to be

And, somehow, that was what threw me off the most, that the author knew how she was coming across, supposedly to her younger self, but really to her readers, was aware of the weaknesses in her approach and chose to forge on without changing it.

It begs the question of who the book is for. There must be an audience for it, someone who, like the younger iterations of the author, really does need to hear that they are important in a hundred different varieties. I liked a handful of said varieties, but wasn't really the right audience for the rest.

[Andrea Pole · Rating 4 out of 5]

letters to the person i was by Sana Abuleil is a collection of poetry born of a responsibility to convey that whatever the circumstances we currently find ourselves in, life is, ultimately, always worth living.

The verses flowed through my consciousness and many resonated on a deeply profound level. This is a substantive collection that is worthy of the time invested in ruminating on each beautiful word.

Thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for this ARC.

[Ayah Elmallah · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Letters to the person I was” by Sana Abuleil was absolutely unexpected. I’ve read many poetry collections, but this one’s got to be in my top 3.  This collection was incredible, not only because of her powerful writing but the themes and the details put in the book.

The aspect of Sana’s poetry that makes it powerful and brilliant is her imagery. Her creative long metaphors separate her from most poets. How she can hold the reader’s attention for the whole poem, no matter how long, the way she makes the reader feel a certain way after reading her words, and how she can describe one human emotion so beautifully complicated. She easily connects with the reader through her writing, making it impossible to lose interest throughout the book.

The book’s theme was Sana’s letters to her younger self. She tells her younger self the advice she wished she had gotten at that age in the form of a poetry journal. The journal is separated into four sections: the innocence, the refusing, the understanding, and the growing. Sana is speaking to her younger self and the whole book is written in the second person. I enjoyed this because even though she’s speaking to her younger self, as a teen I feel like she’s talking to me and giving me the advice that she wished someone would have given her. This connection that she forms with the reader is rare and makes the collection a beautiful experience. She’s not only talking to her past, present, and future self but the readers too. This theme was executed so perfectly by Sana and that’s why I don’t believe she deserves anything less than 5 stars.

The last thing that completes this book is the amount of detail. On the stunning cover of the book, there is an illustrated photo of the author. On the cover, she seems silenced, but once you open the book, everything she has ever wanted to say is said. While reading the book, the first thing you notice is the font and illustrations. The font of the book is unique because it’s Sana’s own legible handwriting. It truly makes you feel like your reading a journal and the illustrations or doodles add on to that theme. All this extra detail completes the book and makes reading it an experience for the senses.

I recommend this book for teenagers to read because of the amount of advice that is given. I refuse to give this book less than 5 stars because of the brilliant writing and imagery, the perfectly executed themes, and the amount of detail put into the book. I can’t wait for Sana’s future books and expect nothing but greatness from the author. 

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Something about letters to the person i was gave me the feeling that I was going to love it. The cover, the title, the description all just gave me the same vibe that a lot of my other favourite poetry collections have given me. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite what I hoped for.

The poetry focuses intensely upon personal experiences, and many of those personal experiences were ones I could deeply relate to. I related to it in a way that was hard for me rather than cathartic. It gave me a lot of negative feelings and made me recollect bad memories in a way that isn't particularly helpful for me to recollect. While the journalistic style isn't my preference, it isn't a style I don't enjoy, but it did get rather repetitive here. At least, it made me feel repetitive reading it.

Some of the poems jumped out at me, some of the lines moved me, but mostly this was just hard for me to read in a way that I couldn't really appreciate. It feels more like something I might have appreciated a decade ago, but now it's just not something I fit into comfortably. I wouldn't recommend against it, because I recognise that my not enjoying it was for deeply personal readers and others may connect with it differently, but I will note that it deals with depression and self-harm, so it may be triggering for some readers.

[Rana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very short read and I am truly grateful that I got the chance to read.

As an overall view, the prose revolves around a girl whom spends her love and efforts in vain for her friend, a victim of self harm. Along with entries of different topics, as well. The book held short entries stretching from 2008 up until 2019, which I find was a rather smart approach in addressing how the author matured through the years. Especially the way she divided them into four categories; the innocence, the refusing, the understanding, the growing. As if it was a twisted parody of the stages of grieve.

In a literary sense, I would have rated this book 3.5 - 4 stars. However, it was a rather emotional read. It broke my heart and mended it multiple times, and its been a long while since I shed as much tears for a prose piece. Regardless of the literature, art that manages to reach its audience in such intensity, has succeeded in its purpose, and that’s what truly matters.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book didn't quite catch me until the second part, but once it did, it was excellent.

your heart keeps landing
in the hands of people
who have a bad habit of
taking it
whether you offer or not
chewing it up
until it's something
you no longer recognize
spitting it out
and telling you
it just wasn't quite what they were
looking for.

you always want to be the one
who leaves
but he's threatening that
because for the first time ever
you want to stay
and this vulnerability scares you
so you don't just look for a way out
you make one
with whatever it takes
and by any means necessary
and right now that looks like
an underground tunnel
you've dug with your nails
and he holds your hands and asks
where all the dirt comes from
and why you're always sore
and why you collect plastic spoons
but you just smile and shrug your shoulders.
"i'll tell you tonight" you say
knowing damn well
you'll be gone before
the sun even sets.

[Ava Orofino · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poetry is not something I’ve always connected with. However, after I started using it as a coping mechanism for my mental health and other events that happened in my life, I’ve been getting more of an appreciation for it.

This was one of the most beautiful books I think I’ve ever read in my entire life. It was letters in poetry, dated as titles, exactly like I do. It had so many moments that I connected with, and so many I didn’t, which was interesting to see how someone else’s feelings had affected them into writing.

I don’t even have the words to describe the heart, sole, and story, this beautiful book had given me.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of poetry was absolutely phenomenal from the time I placed this book in my hands and started reading it I fell in love! The writing really spoke to me in many volumes and I felt like I really could connect with the poet. I loved the bits of artwork that were inside of it as you read it. The writing as a whole inspired me during the time in my life that I’m going through right now. I feel like more people should read it!

[Tala · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Letters to the person I was" by Sana abuleil is a personal and touching book. The simplicity of the book attracts the reader and makes the book an easy read. While reading, the illustrations are one of the first things you see. They're not only pleasing to the eyes but also are a way to help the author explain her story. Her long metaphors are well thought out and were easy to understand, making the book a fun and enjoyable read. I recommend this book and i strongly think that it deserves 5 stars.

[Aafiya · Rating 4 out of 5]

The style of poems is not that of the typical POETRY but every page connected to me in a different level. I could relate with each page so much. Wondering if this was written by future me to the present me😅. Not everyone's cup of tea but it definitely was mine. Loved it

[Reina Luna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love her poetry and art. But I couldn't follow I think this wasn't my type of tea.

[Erika Sarutobi · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

RTC

[Stefani Messick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the book was healing for the author. While there were several powerful moments for me, I couldn't fully connect with the strings of enmeshed metaphors.

[Noninuna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely beautiful! Her writing is really up my alley. I really appreciate that she didn't touch topics like sex, woman's anatomy etc which are kind of a must in most famous poetry.

[lina · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I don't love you like necessity.
I love you like privilege.”

This will be ringing in my brain forever and then some.