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Love Means Love: Same-sex Relationships and the Bible

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Does the Bible really condemn same-sex relationships?

Many Christians wrestle with this question. Here, in his compassionate, cogent book, David Runcorn outlines how someone can support same-sex relationships on the basis of the Bible, not in spite of it.

The Church, in every time and place, finds itself working out the shock and surprise of God’s unfolding ways – often scandalized by where holiness, goodness and the life of God are to be found.

Runcorn’s insightful and moving reflections show how speaking in gospel friendship will help to dispel the anxiety and division that have tended to mark the Church’s response to homosexuality. Covering sexual abstinence and celibacy, sexuality and the sacred, he leads us to one powerful conclusion: love means love.

‘Brim-full of gentle and clear wisdom. Highly recommended!’
PAUL BAYES, Bishop of Liverpool

‘Joyful, truthful, scandalously inclusive . . . This book will literally save lives. It opens the door of grace and beckons you in.’
NICK BUNDOCK, Rector of St James and Emmanuel, Didsbury

‘Liberates us to read our beloved Bible with faithfulness, both to the text and to the fruit of Christ we often see in LGBT+ lives. For a good number of us, it will be met with a cry of “at last!”’.
JODY STOWELL, Vicar of St Michael’s Harrow and Chair of London Clergy

160 pages, Paperback

Published June 18, 2020

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David Runcorn

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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
Profile Image for Toby.
769 reviews29 followers
March 7, 2021
This is an important book, written just before the Church of England's Living in Love and Faith materials were published. David Runcorn, coming from an evangelical background, is at pains to engage with scripture throughout, and this is welcome in a debate where too often Scripture falls on one side of the argument and Experience/Reason on the other. It is a short book - made deceptively longer by SPCK's crafty decision to publish it in something resembling 16 point type. Good for those with poor eyesight.

Coming as it clearly does on the side of affirming same-sex relationships, this is not a book that seeks to balance arguments. It therefore needs to be read alongside the LLF materials as well as books that argue the contrary. I hope that evangelicals take the time to read this book just as I hope that liberals/revisionists read some arguments coming from the conservative stable.

Runcorn begins by asking us to acknowledge the anxieties and defensiveness that we all feel when dealing with controversial topics, particularly sex. Even those of us who may not feel that we have a particularly defined "identity" may still feel threatened when our positions are challenged. He then in a series of punchy chapters looks at the usual suspect of Biblical verses (Leviticus 18, Romans 1, Sodom and Gomorrah, 1 Corinthians 6) and argues very strongly for a contextual reading of them.

This is all fine as far as it goes, and some of it is now relatively uncontroversial (I haven't read for a long time anything that suggests that God smote Sodom because the rapists were same-sex attracted). He is, I am sure, right that the context of same-sex relationships in First Century Rome bore very little resemblance to such relationships today. Indeed other-sex relationships have changed markedly as well. It is very difficult to read any kind of sexual ethic straight off the pages of the Bible.

At times he shows some inconsistency. You can't on the one hand declare that Paul isn't discussing homosexuality because the term hadn't been invented only to then say that the objects of his condemnation in Romans 1 are heterosexuals choosing to have sex with men. Heterosexuality is as novel a term as homosexuality. In any case I'm not sure the extent to which the Roman and Greek world recognised exclusive same or other sex attraction. Bisexuality or pederasty as a form of sexual pleasure apart from marriage seems to be much more common, and presumably it is these that Paul is attacking.

I'm not wholly convinced by his exegesis of the notoriously difficult verse of 1 Corinthians 6:9. It seems to be that whereas arsenokoi and malekoi may not be specifically paired, they do come in the first half of a list of ten sins, the first five of which do seem to cluster around sexual excess. Malekoi therefore seems more likely to refer to a form of male effeminacy, possibly sexual, than wallowing in luxurious excess.

What I think is quite clear is that it is by no means straightforward taking Paul's condemnation of a particular form of male sexual activity and using it to condemn all same sex relationships. We simply don't know what Paul had mind although it's hard to imagine that it would have included life-long loving same sex partnerships. It is also hard to imagine that Paul would have approved of male on male sexual intercourse either. That is why it is a fruitless exercise to somehow conjure up the spirit of Paul and ask what he would make of contemporary sexual mores. After all, compared to what was going around him in Corinth and Rome he might consider how remarkably restrained we all are. The day I took my young son and nephew to a British Museum exhibition about Pompeii and had to explain to them as vaguely as I could what a cocksucker was is still burnished on my memory.... So much for Roman wallpaper.

Runcorn's exegesis is mostly good although still arguable. Reason and experience also, as you would imagine, get a good look in. Tradition is almost absent. He candidly argues that just because we have taught something for 2000 years doesn't mean it's right. Perhaps so, although that does rather put the creed up for grabs. The counter is that given that same-sex marriage was barely even thought of a generation ago perhaps a little bit more thought ought to be given before we scrap traditional teaching.

Augustine's three goods of marriage are not specifically mentioned. For Runcorn marriage essentially comes down to faithful loving companionship. Procreation is booted out as not all other-sex marriages have children (this argument frustrates me, but that's another story). He, I think, rather disingenuously argues that our doctrine of marriage would not change by opening up to same-sex couples, but of course the Anglican liturgy would have to be completely rewritten and so our doctrine would change. And if marriage is simply to be redefined as loving faithful companionship without consummation or procreation then I wonder why we should simply do away with the concept of marriage and call all such relationships loving and faithful ones.

Overall I preferred Robert Song's Covenant and Calling which goes with Runcorn most of the way but works more with tradition and historic theology rather than just the Biblical texts.

Profile Image for Louise Douglas.
487 reviews17 followers
August 31, 2020
An insightful and clear unpicking of the ‘issue’ of same-sex marriage that has caused (and continues to cause) friction in the church. It’s a divisive issue and one that is probably not talked about enough because of the potential for upset.

This book unpicks the common objections for same sex relationships and gay marriage and thoroughly and overwhelmingly shows you why these objections are not biblical in origin.

Evangelicals often use the phrase ‘authority of scripture’ when they mean the authority of the Evangelical, or Protestant theology, since the assumption is made that we (Evangelicals, or Protestants) are the ones who know and believe that the Bible is saying.


Unpicking the real meaning behind commonly cited Bible passages and trying to explain where some of the confusion has come from, I found this book so insightful. It’s written without judgement but with love and with the intention of opening eyes to a more inclusive world.

I remember the reaction of someone the first time they saw a woman wearing a clerical collar. ‘It’s not natural’, they muttered, with some anger. What they actually meant was ‘I have never seen this before. It is not part of my world and I am very uncomfortable with it’.


This book challenges us to move past things that might make us uncomfortable and challenge what we may think we know. I found it enlightening and I am personally so glad I read it.

Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for a review.
1 review
June 23, 2020
I want to commend this wonderful book by David Runcorn, which has just been published. Its hard to locate at the moment with the book launch scheduled for Wednesday, but I cheated and read on Kindle.
Knowing David well, I knew it would be good. But I hadn't realized the extent to which he would build the most powerful case for welcoming gay marriage in the church. I know my view will cause dismay to some of my more Conservative Evangelical friends, but take a look - only £6 on Kindle and it will give you every opportunity to stress test your certainties, as David examines every conceivable objection to Gay Marriage and builds an overwhelming case for accepting, even welcoming it.
This book deserves to be the defining moment for the Church of England that has tiptoed for far too long on this issue. All I can do is comment it to all of my Christian friends and to salute and thank David for his masterful, self sacrificial and courageous masterpiece.
Profile Image for Clicky Steve.
159 reviews1 follower
December 9, 2020
Having grown up in the church and thoroughly rejected the way I've seen people be treated for their sexuality by people who claim to be welcoming and to 'love', I wanted to have a better grasp of what the actual Biblical context of the passages which are often quoted is. This book does that, and also examines the church's position historically, laying out a theological position which explains (or supports) what many people feel is a contradiction within the church, but who are unable to necessarily articulate in the face of so-called 'traditionalist' views.
Profile Image for Thom Bilton.
6 reviews
April 23, 2021
This book, like many others of its kind, attempts to use our misreading of scripture to explain why homosexuality isn’t a sin.

I was somewhat in agreement until the author quoted Richard Rohr who, as a progressive Christian, throws out more than enough church history and understanding of who Christ is to be considered heretical.

Thus this books arguments are undermined by the potentially heretical underpinnings of the authors influences.
101 reviews
March 19, 2021
Many people emerging from an evangelical stable have come to the conclusion that same sex relationships should affirmed and celebrated but fear that they may be on shaky ground with scripture. David Runcorn does a wonderful job of taking us through scripture and showing that scripture is as affirming as we know God to be! Gentle, wise and beautifully written.
5 reviews
November 15, 2023
I struggled with this book, the author too often goes round the houses before finally coming to his point in each of the chapters. I’d struggle to recap what the points made in this book were if someone asked me - a tad convoluted. Onto the next book…
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