Emotional, psychological abuse and sexual coercion are difficult to recognize. For women in abusive relationships, figuring out exactly what is going on is the first step - especially when their abusive husband is telling everyone else that she's the problem. The simple pictures and infographics in the back help women sort through the lies, gaslighting, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and sexual coercion to take a step toward emotional, physical, and sexual safety in their homes. This book validates women in relationships with pornography addicts, who have experienced betrayal trauma, infidelity, and emotional abuse. It's useful to give to clergy, family, friends, or others who can't wrap their head around what's happening to the victim because it's such a short read, but it covers all the necessary concepts. The author, Anne Blythe, M.Ed. is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast.
The writer of this book is clearly suffering, but one gets the impression that she has shut herself off from any interpretation other than that the world is full of dangerous, abusive men. That this is written in child-like verse, for both adults and children, is mildly disturbing. The references to outside sources are pseudoscientific. I can’t recommend.
This is a fantastic book. Anne did a fabulous job of explaining such a heavy and complicated topic in short, easy to understand language. It’s a great reference book too, since it has the info graphics in the back.
This book is very informative and an extremely easy read. Im so grateful I found it. The most helpful was simple definitions that give me a voice and made me feel supported when using the terminology.
Such a simple yet informative book. I related to all the pictures as I'm going through my own betrayal trauma. Great book Anne!!! Thank you for all the podcasts and BTR.
This is an excellent summary of intimate partner abuse and betrayal. As another reviewer has mentioned, I also feel disappointed by the constant emphasis on sexual betrayal or infidelity. The focus on this, I feel, downplays or minimises the at least equal if not greater, seriousness of other forms of betrayal and abuse. It is almost as if, if your partner didn't have an affair (that you're aware of!), there was no abuse. I'd like to find a book where it doesn't play a primary part. I am also a bit confused by the chart that says that masturbation is a form of infidelity... Is this only when it is done while watching porn? The context of this should be clearer because it makes me feel like maybe the book was written by someone with very specific religious views which I don't relate to. Other than that, I especially found the charts enlightening and helpful. I also think it's important to understand that very few people understand what it is like to be a victim of this type of abuse. I have found that some of the people least likely to understand are therapists. Because we pay them and expect them to understand because it's actually their job, they tend to add to the trauma instead of alleviating it. It really is amazing how clueless they are. I am finding Anne Blythe's podcast far more helpful than I have ever found a therapist to be. I wish I could attend the group sessions but am in the wrong time zone and can't currently afford the required number of USD per month. I'd like to make a call out to the art work in this book. I can only imagine it was a challenge to come up with artwork for a topic such as this one. It is extremely well done. It does make the husband look a bit dopey though, almost as if he is innocent or oblivious to what he is doing - and I don't think abusers are clueless, dopey, innocent or oblivious. As this book points out, INTENT is key. Thought, intent, planning, strategising, even research and in some cases elaborate preparation all go into what they perpetrate. This is part of what is so frightening, disturbing and traumatising. I don't think the level of potential danger or fear has been captured here.
A great book for the drama that surrounds any kind of trauma, specifically betrayal types. It looks like a children's book, but is actually for adults. Even though it's just as short as a children's book, it contains impactful truths on each page. This book focuses on trauma caused by pornography, but the principles are applicable in many situations where betrayal is the issue.
It's not "just porn". It is twisting the reality of your partner. It is gaslighting and manipulation. It is leading a secret sexual life. It is exploitative.
The book is clear, concise and broken down in a way to be appropriate for all audiences.