Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

How to Make a Life

Rate this book
When Ida and her daughter Bessie flee a catastrophic pogrom in Ukraine for America in 1905, they believe their emigration will ensure that their children and grandchildren will be safe from harm. But choices and decisions made by one generation have ripple effects on those who come later—and in the decades that follow, family secrets, betrayals, and mistakes made in the name of love threaten the survival of the family: Bessie and Abe Weissman’s children struggle with the shattering effects of daughter Ruby’s mental illness, of Jenny’s love affair with her brother-in-law, of the disappearance of Ruby’s daughter as she flees her mother’s legacy, and of the accidental deaths of Irene’s husband and granddaughter.

A sweeping saga that follows three generations from the tenements of Brooklyn through WWII, from Woodstock to India, and from Spain to Israel, How to Make a Life is the story of a family who must learn to accept each other’s differences—or risk cutting ties with the very people who anchor their place in the world.

320 pages, Paperback

Published October 13, 2020

116 people are currently reading
2756 people want to read

About the author

Florence Reiss Kraut

4 books64 followers
Florence Reiss Kraut was raised and educated in New York City. With a BA in English and a Masters in Social Work she worked for over thirty years as a clinician, a family therapist and eventually CEO of a family service agency before retiring to write and travel. Her own close family of 26 aunts and uncles and 27 first cousins and listening to stories around the kitchen table, coffee klatches and family parties inspired her to write her fictional, multi-generational family drama, How to Make a Life.

She has published stories for children and teens, romance stories for national magazines, literary stories, and personal essays for the Westchester section of the New York Times. Her fiction has appeared in publications such as The Evening Street Press and SNReview.

Connect with Florence Reiss Kraut at FlorenceReissKraut.com, Facebook (@FlorenceReissKrautAuthor) and Goodreads.

How to Make a Life will be available October 2020 via Amazon, Bookshop.org and more.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
194 (39%)
4 stars
190 (39%)
3 stars
82 (16%)
2 stars
14 (2%)
1 star
7 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews
Profile Image for Kammy.
159 reviews8 followers
October 2, 2020
Thank you to the publisher for an advanve Copy of this book via netgalley!

You can’t help but get so intertwined with the hard and often at times sad life of this family. A glimpse into how familial past can impact future generations. You laugh, you cry and you are angry with them as they try to establish a new life while carrying the baggage of their old life. Can the two be separated or are they forever intertwined?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Karren  Sandercock .
1,322 reviews402 followers
March 12, 2022
How to Make a Life follows three generation of the Weissman’s family, their Grandmother Ida and mother Bessie left Ukraine for America in 1905. Ida was married, almost her entire family was killed in the Ukraine, including her husband Moshe, mother and three of her children. She believed by immigrating to America, she could save her two remaining daughters and it wasn’t the case.

A historical saga that takes you from the tenements of Orchard Street and to the battlefields of WW II and the hippie era of Woodstock and traveling to India and Israel. Bessie and Abe Weissman’s children and grandchildren have their struggles and Ida couldn’t protect them from life.

Like all family’s things happen, illness, accidents, infidelity, divorce, estrangement and aging. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and She Writes Press in exchange for an honest review. It was a long and involved story that started off with a very violent chapter in Ukraine, Ida was a strong and resilient woman, her determination to start again and support her daughters in a new country was admirable, and especially when she couldn’t speak English. How to Make a Life by Florence Reiss Kraut and for me it was far too long and I was overwhelmed by what happened to each character and three stars.
https://karrenreadsbooks.blogspot.com/
Profile Image for Veronica ⭐️.
1,333 reviews291 followers
October 10, 2020
How to Make a Life is an enthralling saga of a family both brought together and divided by the mental illness of one member.
Spanning four generations of the Amdur/Weissman family, the story is narrated through different members of the family over the years, highlighting their ever changing relationships with each other.

How to Make a Life begins with Ida fleeing a massacre on their land in Ukraine and taking her two surviving children to America to start a new life safe from persecution. Life is tough and there is more tragedy in store but Ida and daughter Bessie know to survive they must always look ahead.

How to Make a Life spans 106 years and to squeeze this amount into one book it quite often skips large spans of time, so you might suddenly find out a character’s husband had died some time ago and there was no previous mention. This made for a lot of telling the story and I would have liked the story to be longer to include all these momentous events in detail.

How to Make a Life is a fast-moving story filled with emotion and plenty of family drama. I became totally invested in all the characters lives and their hopes, fears and dreams.

Florence Reiss Kraut includes many themes in this generational drama including unplanned pregnancies, mental illness, unrequited love, loss, guilt, family responsibility, holding onto your faith and how the choices we make can have a ripple affect through the generations.
*I received a review copy of the book
Profile Image for Lolly K Dandeneau.
1,933 reviews254 followers
July 28, 2020
via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
𝐈𝐧 𝐊𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐯𝐤𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐚 𝐀𝐦𝐝𝐮𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, “𝐈𝐝𝐚. 𝐈𝐝𝐚 𝐀𝐦𝐝𝐮𝐫.” 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰.

Ida Amdur is fleeing a pogrom in Ukraine with her two daughters, Beilah and Feige in 1905. They will be Americans now, but to do so means closing the door on the abominable horrors her family suffered. It is also an end to her prosperous life, her very identity. Names may change, but it is more than tickets for the ship and a few personal belongings they bring with them to their new life. The memories are sealed tight in her eldest child’s brain, haunting even her dreams and keeps the pain Ida suffered fresh in her mind. It is the youngest, the beautiful Feige, nay Fanny, with her delicate beauty and mind untainted by the past who is her shining hope, her angel. Ida, however, doesn’t have the gift of leisure to spend her days and nights with her girls, she must toil to put food on the table and a roof over their heads in this new country. It is Bessie who must be a little mother to Fanny, feeding her in the evening and putting her to bed while Ida works. Life is coming together again but not seamlessly, and fate isn’t done with them. No matter how much she sacrifices, it never seems to be enough. The only thing she knows is, she must never look back if she is to survive. Naturally, Bessie is the daughter who carries the past into the roots of the future through her own children and everyone who follows.

The roots are stronger for growing in the darkest of years but survival comes at a cost. Bessie knows better than anyone that there is no escaping your origins. Taking on guilt, regret, shame that she didn’t ask for but must carry seems to be passed down to her children just like genes, one must wonder, does trauma, life experience travel through the blood too? What about someone’s namesake, can it too carry sorrow, joy? How else to explain her own eldest Ruby’s strange spells? The things she knows without understanding? Bessie is doing her best for her mother Ida, her husband Abe and their five children (Ruby, Morris, Irene, Jenny and Faye) but she feels so much older than her years. No matter how vigilant she is, she knows how quickly things can turn to tragedy and Ruby seems to be a catalyst for danger. As the years pass, the children come of age and find themselves tied in the knots of their family.

There is love and resentment when responsibility falls heavy on the shoulders of certain children. Despite the silence of the past, the choices they make as they fall in love and attempt to build their own futures, drudge up memories of Kotovka, Ukraine and the brutal murder of their people. Memories that Ida and Bessie have kept locked away from the delicate ears of her American children. It is as if the past is a poison, one that can vanquish any person or thing they hold dear. Yet, what people refuse to remember will always come to the surface.

The dynamics between the siblings is evidence that it isn’t only Ida and Bessie who have sacrificed. So much is out of our hands, and when mental struggles engulf one sibling, it is an undertow that takes everyone with them. In being the rock, one sister has buried her own desires, and when they awaken she can’t seem to steer them in the right direction. Sins seem to echo through time.

Once inside Ruby’s mind the reader can’t help but feel the chaos in her head and Florence Reiss Kraut’s incredible mastery of writing characters whose every emotion flows within the reader makes you feel they are your own. Each character has struggles, grudges, needs, wants, connections, and shame, so much shame- deserved or not. Sometimes we burn everything down around us through no fault of our own. Ruby and Jenny’s tangled lives evoke the bond of sisterhood but it’s not all glory and grace, anyone with a sibling knows this too well. How much should it cost to be a good sister, brother, mother, husband, wife, daughter or grandchild? What do we owe our ancestors and must history keep taking a pound of flesh for every child born?

Ruby and Jenny aren’t the only siblings struggling with each other. When Ruby’s adult son Michael decides to better understand his Jewish identity, embracing his religion it too creates waves of dissension between her and his sister Abby. Can you navigate faith when way those around you live their lives against your beliefs? Do you cut them free?

It’s not all doom and gloom, every family has it’s free spirits. There is Woodstock and detours, cross-country travel, Spain, India, Israel, faith, college, marriage, divorces, children, careers, love affairs… all the joyful and disastrous events in any life. Naturally mistakes are made, some unforgivable that push the family apart, sometimes with good intentions and at other times born out of old hurts and jealousies. This was not a light read, it will break your heart and hang you out to dry but I was riveted. A heavy read for the fall. Yes, add it to your list!

Publication Date: October 13, 2020

She Writes Press
Profile Image for Jan Rice.
586 reviews517 followers
June 14, 2021
This is the story of a woman who immigrates to the U.S. from Ukraine in 1905 after a pogrom that costs the life of her husband, mother, and three of her children. From the then eleven-year-old daughter who is left to her come three generations of a creative, boisterous family whose stories make up this book. Although I have been known to say I don't like multi-generational stories, what I mean is that I don't like are the books that stay with one branch of the family for 100 pages or so, then jettison those characters to take up the next branch. This book is not like that. The older characters remain as part of the emerging, intertwining story as the new ones issue forth. These are all fully fleshed-out, real characters in whose lives and living the reader becomes invested. Toward the end, I did need the family chart, but not until then.

The first character, the mother who survived the pogrom, would have been in my great grandparents' generation, her eleven-year-old who is eventually the mother of five, in my grandparents'. The five children and their spouses are in my parents' age group, and the next generation is mine. That made them more real. I'm happy when a book club selection works for me.

1905 was a year of social unrest in Russia and is sometimes called the first Russian revolution. Although only a small minority of Jews were radicals, and although most radicals weren't Jews, Jews sometimes were made scapegoats. Once the setting shifts to New York, though, the story unfolds as a family drama rather than a political event, despite the initial horror that sets the stage.

This is the kind of book that, after living with this family, you might find yourself more understanding, accepting, and forgiving of your own family. And yourself.

Beautiful, messed-up, heroic, surprising, loving people.

Profile Image for Joyce.
1,832 reviews40 followers
June 28, 2020
302 pages

5 stars

What a wonderful book.

Our story begins in the Ukraine in 1905. Ida and her two daughters are the only survivors of a pogrom. She decides to move to the United States. Ida is badly damaged by the murders of her entire family. She speaks only a few words of English when she arrives in New York, but she is determined to make do.

This book follows Ida's life and her subsequent family for about one hundred years. The lives, loves and losses of this extended family will make the reader smile and almost cry.

Ms. Kraut's characters are so very real. There are numerous people described in the book, but the author takes the time to imbue them all with unique personalities. The reader gets to know these individuals in just a few words.

I felt like I personally knew the women about which Ms. Kraut writes. They were so very real. We all have had family dramas – whether the issue was real or imagined did not matter. What mattered was the emotion behind the hurt.

This is a great book and I will treasure it and re-read it over again.

I want to thank NetGalley and She Writes Press for forwarding to me a copy of this most touching book for me to read, enjoy and review.
Profile Image for Cheryl Sokoloff.
760 reviews26 followers
September 11, 2020
Florence Reiss Kraut’s novel, How to Make a Life, is the saga of four generations of an immigrant family who begin by escaping the pogroms in Eastern Europe (in 1905) for a life in New York.

When that awful day started Chaya Amdur was a wife, and the mother of five children: a set of twin girls, a young boy, a toddler, Beiah, and her baby, precious Feige. In a matter of minutes, as Chaya ran for cover hiding below ground, The Russians slaughtered the rest of her family. When Chaya (and Beilah) saw their family dead, (Feige was too young to remember anything), that is when Chaya made the decision to go to New York. When they arrive Chaya becomes Ida, Beilah becomes Bessie and little Feige becomes Fanny. Life is not easy for Ida. They manage to find a small space to live (in the tenamants), Ida gets a job, and young Bessie lands up being responsible for Fanny ... At his point, which is extremely early in this sage of four generations of a family, I already could not put this book down.

Suffice it to say, that Bessie goes on to have five children, Ruby, Jenny, Irene, Morris and baby Faye, with her husband, Abe Weissman. The book continues on with their lives, and their children's lives; covering the gamut of the major events of the 50's. 60's (#Woodstock), 70's (Israel, Kibbutz, Yom Kippur War), 80's, 90's, and into the new millennium. This book is a trip through time with the Weissman family.

When the book ended I still wanted to read more. I loved Florence Weiss Kraut's writing style and I loved her incredible story! I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to read this book by @netgalley and @shewritespress in return for my honest review. #5stars
Profile Image for Alissa.
535 reviews20 followers
September 5, 2020
NOTE: I received an Advanced Reader's Copy from the author.

How to Make a Life begins as Ida and her daughter Bessie escape the pogroms of Eastern Europe in the early 1900s to start a new life in New York - and then follows four generations of the family for the next 100 years. A true family saga, each chapter is told from the perspective of a different family member, and through those many eyes we watch as siblings take care of one another, judge one another, resent one another and love one another, and then watch as family history and decisions impact the next generation. Don't worry - a family tree printed at the front of the book will help you keep track of the characters. The story takes us across the country and across the world as different family members seek to find themselves and their place in life in different ways. My only issue with the book is that it does start off with a violent and graphic prologue that might turn some readers off. While the incident sets the story in motion, the brutality of that scene is not indicative of the rest of the book, and I encourage people to keep reading past it and to get to know Ida, Bessie and the Weissman family. The book is very engrossing and an easy read (once you hit Chapter 1) and I read it in a day!
This would be a good choice for book clubs, as I always find family sagas spark deep discussions that allow book club members to bring incidents and memories from their own lives and family relationships into the conversation.
1 review1 follower
September 3, 2020
I could not put this book down. This novel was an incredible read; well-written with characters you feel like you know personally, exciting with every chapter having a story as engaging as the previous, and emotional, with many painful and joyous moments throughout the book.

Here is the official description of the novel:
“When Ida and her daughter Bessie flee a catastrophic pogrom in Ukraine for America in 1905, they believe their emigration will ensure that their children and grandchildren will be safe from harm. But choices and decisions made by one generation have ripple effects on those who come later--and in the decades that follow, family secrets, betrayals, and mistakes made in the name of love threaten the survival of the family: Bessie and Abe Weissman's children struggle with the shattering effects of daughter Ruby's mental illness, of Jenny's love affair with her brother-in-law, of the disappearance of Ruby's daughter as she flees her mother's legacy, and of the accidental deaths of Irene's husband and granddaughter.
A sweeping saga that follows four generations from the tenements of Brooklyn through WWII, from Woodstock to India, and from Spain to Israel, How to Make a Life is the story of a family who must either deal with their differences or cut ties with the people who anchor their place in the world.”

I am not really able to explain how fantastic this book is, so I really encourage you to find out yourself!!
Profile Image for Kayleigh 2babesandabookshelf.
559 reviews54 followers
October 10, 2020
// 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 / 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝗪 //⁣

Title: #HowToMakeALive⁣
Author: @florencekraut⁣
Publisher: @shewritespress
Pub Date: 10/13/2020⁣⁣
Type: #Paperback #FinishedCopy⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Total Pages: 320⁣
Genre: #HistoricalFiction ⁣⁣
On Tour: @smithpublicity⁣
Must Read Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⁣⭐⁣⁣

𝘚𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴:⁣

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘥𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘜𝘬𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢 𝘪𝘯 𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳—𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴, 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺: 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘣𝘦 𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘯’𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘙𝘶𝘣𝘺’𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘰𝘧 𝘑𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘺’𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳-𝘪𝘯-𝘭𝘢𝘸, 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘶𝘣𝘺’𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘤𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘐𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳.⁣

My Thoughts:⁣

I have another fantastic, heartbreaking and searing #WW2 novel to share with you. This one packs the punch right from chapter one (you've been warned: it's graphic and will make you cry) and does not relent until the book concludes. The reader is taken on a magnificent, yet heartbreaking journey all over the world as one family tries to bury their past, survive and ultimately decide how and when to forgive. This is an extremely honest look at how your past defines/shapes who you are and how your actions affect everyone you love. The characters are simply SUPERB in this book.
Profile Image for Susan Hampson.
1,521 reviews69 followers
October 7, 2020
From the very first sentence, everything around me just faded until all that was left was the book in my hand and the desperation of Chaya Amdur her terrified ten-year-old daughter Beilah and her sleeping 3-month-old baby, Feige. My heart was racing because it was obvious something unthinkable had happened. When they climbed out of the cellar what they found was horrific. They had lost their world. It was 1905 and they had to flee the pogrom that was sweeping through Ukraine. They gathered as much as they could, they had not been poor and left for America onboard a ship.

This incredible story continues through the generations until it concludes in 2012. One hundred and seven years of family tragedies and there were so many of them, the joys, the fallouts and the love. Chaya had changed their names when they arrived in America and they became Ida, Bessie and Fanny but tragedy was just waiting for them around the corner. For the second time tears blurred every word that I was reading.

Each chapter centres around one of the family members, either born into the family or married into it. In the front of the book is a family tree, which I found tremendously helpful to keep track of which line they were descending from. As in every family, each person is very different. Ruby is a colourful character that suffers from mental illness all of her life. I saw her through the eyes of others but also from inside her too.

Their stories took me from Brooklyn around the world. I laughed with them, cried so many times and saw some of them grow old, while others weren’t so lucky. Tragedies pulled them together and at times drove them apart. Religion was always there, stronger with some than with others. This is an outstanding story told with raw emotions. I didn’t want it to end but I loved how it ended.

Highly recommended. Unforgettable!! My top read of this year.

I wish to thank Andrea Thatcher for a copy of this book which I have reviewed honestly.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
Author 10 books57 followers
August 28, 2020
I received this book as an ARC from Smith Publicity, Inc., and am providing an honest review.
How to Make a Life is an engaging family saga covering five generations of a Jewish family whose beginnings trace back to Ukraine in the early 1900s.
As the story spans the generations living in New York City, I was ever grateful for the family tree at the beginning of the novel and referred to it constantly. As in any family, the interrelationships are complex and often need to be untangled like a skein of yarn.
The book begins with horrors of a pogrom in Ukraine in the early twentieth century, where nearly the entire family was murdered, to New York City, where as each generation passes, the family members move up in social and economic status. But old hurts and secrets remain.
Each chapter focuses on a family member, enabling us to see the family and their life through the lens of the individual, which is how we see life.
Blame and misunderstandings follow each character, as well as loyalties. From the mental illness of the oldest daughter Ruby, to the betrayal of sister Jenny.
No family is easy, and author Kraut does a masterful job portraying the interrelationships of brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and in-laws in a way that every reader will identify with.
She pulls us into the world of New York City covering the ever changing years of the twentieth century. The Jewish family and neighborhood provide a closeness rarely seen today, although the Weissmans aren’t particularly religious.
This is a novel that will keep you thinking long after you have put it down.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
1,473 reviews37 followers
October 6, 2020
In 1905, Ida escaped the pograms of Kotovka, Ukraine that killed her husband, parents and most of her children.  She escapes to America with her surviving ten-year old daughter Beilah and three month old daughter Feige only to have tragedy strike again.  Ida builds her life up again, growing her family and taking care of her grandkids. As Ida watches her daughter and grandkids grow up she sees the effect of her past through the generations and how they learn to triumph.
How to Make A Life follows a family through five generations of hardship and survival through the years.  The opening scene packed a strong punch and set a tone of struggle, loss and overcoming adversity as Ida's family was killed due to their religion.  The writing is straightforward and does not mince words when it comes to typically difficult topics.  Each chapter follows a different member of Ida's family through the years as they face different challenges in life and within their family.  Through the generations, many different themes arose such as mental illness, grief, faithfulness, religion, PTSD, suicide, pregnancy loss and aging.  Even though the story was told through so many different lenses, the family was always central to their thoughts and decisions.  As the generations passed, I did have some trouble keeping some of the characters straight, however, the family tree diagram at the beginning helped me sort everyone out.  Overall, an intriguing look at the complexity of familial relationships and the impact of a traumatic event on future generations.  


This book was received for free in return for an honest review.
Profile Image for Marizaan.
27 reviews4 followers
October 18, 2020
My first thought when I read the title I thought it was some sort of self help guide. It isn't. It is actually a wonderful read about the relationships that we from with our past, our family history, and how it impacts us. Especially, betrayal, mental illness, misunderstandings, blame and loyalty.

Each chapter focus on a family member giving us an unique perspective of each members. This how we often view life. The matters that are mentioned in the book is well written and dealt with care.

The only unfortunate things that throughout the novel there a huge time jumps which cause the reader to miss some information about character deaths etc. in the moment.
4 reviews1 follower
September 9, 2020
Florence Reiss Kraut has crafted a literary miracle. She took a century's worth of familial relationships and allowed the reader to enter into the emotional depths of her characters. Her experience as a family therapist is evident throughout the book, especially in her depiction of Ruby whose struggles with psychosis and the impact on family is as close a rendering of this particular challenge as any I have read - brilliant.
Profile Image for Crystal Zavala.
457 reviews47 followers
October 20, 2020
4.5 ⭐

Is there are genre that you are nervous about picking up? Historical Fiction can be that genre for me. I tend to love it or hate it. It tends to either read too slowly or it can fly by.
How to Make a Life falls into the categories of - I loved it and it flew by.

This novel starts with a family tree and weaves itself through the lives of the Weissman family from 1905-2012. It's 1905 and the first scene starts off with an horrifying pogrom in Ukraine. Ida Amdur's family is almost annihilated, so Ida and her remaining children flee to the United States.

The family struggles with a range of issues including - anti-Semitism, mental health, PTSD, marriage, aging, and family loyalty. When reading this book, I was impressed with how easily it flows from on character and generation so smoothly. I referred back to the family tree occasionally, but each of the characters were pretty memorable. There was a moment where I thought, Wow, this family has been through a lot. Puts it into perspective how much happens to one family over the course of 100 years and how different events can cause ripple effects throughout the family.

I flew through this multi-generational novel and I would highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Litzsiereads.
109 reviews12 followers
January 6, 2021
First book of 2021 and it gets 5 stars...what!?

This one caught me so off guard, in a good way. I never read a book like this, ever. I thought it was a historical fiction due to the mention of the 1905 Pogrom in Ukraine but, this was more general fiction. I'm not normally interested in family drama themed novels but this one just blew me away, especially at how well rounded it was.

How to Make a Life tells a story of a mother and her two daughters fleeing to America in an attempt to start a better life for themselves and the generations to come. And the generations did come...three! I loved following this huge family and each family member, reading about the secrets, betrayals, regrets and struggles to keep the family a family. Florence just keeps you on your toes at every chapter and for those reasons I ended up thoroughly enjoyed this one.

Thank you Florence for sending me an advance reading copy in exchange for an honest review. (please keep writing!)
Profile Image for Lauren.
91 reviews
September 14, 2025
What a amazing book.  After losing her husband and most of her children in a pogrom in Ukraine,1905, Bubbie Ida takes her surviving daughter and infant baby to America.
The book is a testament to Bubbie Ida and the generations that follow.
I suppose I felt close to the story as my own family left Ukraine under similar circumstances in 1904.
This is not historical fiction.  It is a family saga of generations and the growth of a family that had been desimated by antisemitism.
Profile Image for Story Circle Book Reviews.
636 reviews66 followers
December 1, 2020
How to Make a Life starts in 1905 in Kotovka, Ukraine and ends in 2012 in New York City. It’s a complex, layered story that follows four generations of a Jewish family. With so many characters to keep track of, the table of contents and the family tree are immensely helpful. Many threads are woven through this intense story, including mass murder, immigration, mental illness, neglect, poverty, wealth, adultery, family secrets, resilience, loyalty… and the list goes on.

I could not help but admire Ida, the matriarch of the family. Her determination to survive is astonishing after her husband, three of their children and her mother are murdered while tending their morning farm chores as Ida, baby Fannie and ten-year-old Bessie hide in the potato cellar beneath the kitchen of the farm house in Ukraine. By page seven, Ida and her two surviving children arrive on a cold gray January day in New York City, ready to start new lives in America--though the horrid memories of their family’s slaughter are never forgotten.

A cousin welcomes them into her already-crowded apartment and Ida finds a job in a restaurant bakery. Within a few weeks, she's moved herself and her two daughters into a two-room apartment. Bessie is in charge of baby Fannie while her mother works. Tragedy strikes again, but somehow Ida finds the strength to carry on.

Bessie grows up, falls in love and marries Abe. Ida lives the rest of her life with them, assisting in chores and raising her 5 grandchildren. We follow each of those grandchildren as they make choices that will determine the course of their lives.

The characters' diverse personalities are well developed. The years this author worked as an MSW social worker and clinician are particularly evident in the thought processes of Bessie’s oldest daughter Ruby, who suffers from schizophrenia. I worked for many years as a psychiatric nurse and I’ve never read a better character description of the trauma and tribulations that this disease of the mind can cause to individuals and families.

This novel will appeal to anyone interested in family epics with unexpected plot twists and unforgettable characters. It demonstrates the power of family love, forgiveness, and resiliency.

Story Circle Book Reviews thanks Ann McCauley for this review.
Profile Image for abdulia ortiz-perez.
634 reviews39 followers
October 21, 2020
I received this free book for honest review.

4.5 stars ⭐ ⭐⭐ ⭐🌠

What a beautiful wonderful amazing read.

This novel will keep you thinking and guessing. When you think you right, well let me just say that you might be wrong. This had me all over the place. My heart beatting so fast! I couldn't believe what I was reading. If had me in shock. Every page, every chapter was a page turner. I couldn't believe my eyes what I was reading. I highly recommend everybody get this book and read it. It will surprise you in every way.

What a great read! This had me hooked from the beginning. The sitting, theme, and the Characters had me pulled in. Everything was well put together and it was just perfect. This novel did just that to me.
Highly recommend everybody get this book and read it. Its so good!
Can't wait for her next book.
Profile Image for Ethel.
222 reviews4 followers
October 19, 2020
This book was near and dear to my heart in many ways, as my own family fled from Belarus and the pogroms that threatened their lives. Well written, truly, for me, understandable. As I read it, I remembered past stories that were handed down to me from my father. While I was too young to truly comprehend the horror he escaped and the subsequent life and scars he carried with him, this book was amazing. You read the book, you read about survival, you read about the toll it takes on the lives of this family, and in reality the lives of so many families. This book will be one I will re-read as I absorb once more what this family went through, and remember some of the stories told to me about my own family. My thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Janilyn Kocher.
5,112 reviews115 followers
October 3, 2020
Kraut writes an absorbing multigenerational family saga. The story begins in Russia and ends in New York City over a century later. Readers get acquainted with each generation"s family members and their trials and tribulations. I enjoyed reading this novel because the characters are so real and believable. Family dynamics are never easy and sometimes hurts and grudges do not fade with time. I was completely engrossed while reading, waiting to see what would happen next.
1 review1 follower
Read
November 19, 2020
This is such an engaging and realistic novel that takes the reader through four generations of a family that comes alive through the masterful writing from Florence Reiss Kraut an author that truly understands the dynamics and complexities of families. I could not put this book down and I am hoping that this first book by Ms. Kraut will be followed by many more.

Caryl Rudner Weinstein, L.C.S.W
1 review
September 22, 2020
This is an excellent read. I couldn't put it down as I became lost in the lives of this family. Florence Kraut painted the generations exquisitely. It is a timely piece as it celebrates how an immigrant family navigates the American life.
2 reviews
September 16, 2020
A wonderful read with engaging characters. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Gail Nelson.
570 reviews15 followers
March 7, 2021
I loved this book. I so wanted to give it 5 stars. Loved the writing. I loved all the characters, and wanted to follow each one, but because this saga lasted 106 years, so much detail was skipped over and then back to, many years later. This could have been done in 2 books! Still loved it though...
Profile Image for Kay.
40 reviews
November 8, 2023
I loved this book - I considered a 5 but there’s almost too many characters. It moves fast and threads so many stories and relationships. I think the reason I really liked it was because of all the strong women in this book. It starts out with such a harsh event and then spins off through four generations of the family.
Profile Image for Elisheva.
184 reviews1 follower
February 5, 2021
From the beginning of this book I was hooked. I kept reading to find out what happened to each family member. I was particularly drawn into the sisters relationships with each other. The book left me wanting to stay with the Weissman family a bit longer.
Profile Image for Ali.
146 reviews
May 1, 2022
So I’m not sure. Not my fav style of writing and the words were simple. I liked the differing point of views but there were so many characters it was difficult to keep track of who was who and I found myself repeatedly referring back to the family tree diagram at the beginning of the book. I liked the intimidate storylines though.
Profile Image for B..
2,587 reviews13 followers
November 2, 2020
I received a copy of this one in a Goodreads Giveaway. It absolutely blew me out of the water. The characters are so rich and so well-developed. The descriptions are as realistic as if you were right there, standing next to each of the characters. Once I started it, I simply couldn't put it down - I didn't want it to end. It's absolutely beautifully done and perfectly titled.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.