What do you think?
Rate this book
Embracing Uncomfortable: Facing Our Fears While Pursuing Our Purpose
The truth is—we’re hardwired to seek comfort, but comfort usually doesn't move us in the right direction.
Every day we face a thousand choices between what is best and what is easier. And most of the time, we’ll choose what’s easier, which is why we so often feel frustrated, anxious, and disconnected. But when you learn to embrace the uncomfortable as the gateway to better things, everything changes. Embracing Uncomfortable teaches you how to
Recognize what you need to do to find purpose and joyDevelop the courage to radically accept your situation as it isHave the courage to do what it takes to move forwardYou’ll learn practical skills to help you pursue and fulfill your purpose, like “practicing the pause” and “balancing your emotions.” Discover the freedom and joy that will fill your life when you begin to see discomfort as an important step toward reaching your goals.
Every day we face a thousand choices between what is best and what is easier. And most of the time, we’ll choose what’s easier, which is why we so often feel frustrated, anxious, and disconnected. But when you learn to embrace the uncomfortable as the gateway to better things, everything changes. Embracing Uncomfortable teaches you how to
Recognize what you need to do to find purpose and joyDevelop the courage to radically accept your situation as it isHave the courage to do what it takes to move forwardYou’ll learn practical skills to help you pursue and fulfill your purpose, like “practicing the pause” and “balancing your emotions.” Discover the freedom and joy that will fill your life when you begin to see discomfort as an important step toward reaching your goals.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
186 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 2, 2020
39 people are currently reading
161 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 23, 2020
This book had some decent things to say.
Its thesis is that most people have values and an identity that encompass great, important things like "family" and "community" and "kindness," but that throughout our daily lives most people find themselves acting in ways that are inconsistent with those values. (Neglecting relationships, making choices based on fear of what others will think, snapping at spouse or children.) In the moment, the choice that is instinctively comfortable will not make us comfortable in the long term.
Continuously choosing short-term validation (overeating for comfort, overbooking yourself) will only lead to increasing dissatisfaction and trouble in the long term, as we stray further and further from what our actual values (a healthy lifestyle, doing your best at every task you undertake) might be. The author advocates "Embracing Uncomfortable" and making the hard choices in the short term, to give yourself a long-term existence that is more peaceful and authentic.
This book is written by someone who is a Christian, though it took me several suspicious chapters to find actual proof of that, but in a broad enough way to encompass people of any (or no) faith. I was just kind of relieved that it wasn't based on Zen.
Aside from that, the author is one of the "type-A, always overbooked, struggles to say 'no' to anything" sort of people who often seem to write self-help books. This is not me at all. My favorite word is "no." So that's always a little interesting; I always have to apply everything the author says by reflecting it into the mirror of my mind's eye and understanding it backwards. She also uses the words authenticity and community ALL. THE. TIME. which is always a red flag. (Take meditative walks in the city!! Leave the door of your inner city apartment open to foster community feeling!!!)
Despite this, she has some big points. The primary strategies offered were:
These were all right, but I found her overall truths to be more helpful than the strategies.
Her points about having to "accept that fear will always be a part of your life" and "picture what moving forward in spite of your fear would look like" were call outs specifically to me. And, of course, her central point that mindless instinct seeks comfort like water flowing downhill, and leads away from the real goals we are trying to achieve. There was a lot in here that I took to apply to my constant battle with eating healthy, but anyone with an uncontrolled behavior that they want to change, but haven't been able to yet, would likely benefit from the clarity laid out in this book.
Its thesis is that most people have values and an identity that encompass great, important things like "family" and "community" and "kindness," but that throughout our daily lives most people find themselves acting in ways that are inconsistent with those values. (Neglecting relationships, making choices based on fear of what others will think, snapping at spouse or children.) In the moment, the choice that is instinctively comfortable will not make us comfortable in the long term.
Continuously choosing short-term validation (overeating for comfort, overbooking yourself) will only lead to increasing dissatisfaction and trouble in the long term, as we stray further and further from what our actual values (a healthy lifestyle, doing your best at every task you undertake) might be. The author advocates "Embracing Uncomfortable" and making the hard choices in the short term, to give yourself a long-term existence that is more peaceful and authentic.
This book is written by someone who is a Christian, though it took me several suspicious chapters to find actual proof of that, but in a broad enough way to encompass people of any (or no) faith. I was just kind of relieved that it wasn't based on Zen.
Aside from that, the author is one of the "type-A, always overbooked, struggles to say 'no' to anything" sort of people who often seem to write self-help books. This is not me at all. My favorite word is "no." So that's always a little interesting; I always have to apply everything the author says by reflecting it into the mirror of my mind's eye and understanding it backwards. She also uses the words authenticity and community ALL. THE. TIME. which is always a red flag. (Take meditative walks in the city!! Leave the door of your inner city apartment open to foster community feeling!!!)
Despite this, she has some big points. The primary strategies offered were:
• KNOWING YOUR VALUES AND KEEPING THEM OFTEN BEFORE YOU (A few chapters on the process of discovering your own values. Can't be true to them if you don't know what they are.)
• PAUSING (Taking "intentional" time to pause and reset yourself, making sure that you're not letting the power of instinct take you off the path you want to be on and towards corner-cutting short-term comfort. AKA meditation? AKA mindfulness?)
• RADICAL ACCEPTANCE (The process of accepting instead of fighting tooth and nail with your own emotions and circumstances, the first step in being able to make changes.)
These were all right, but I found her overall truths to be more helpful than the strategies.
Her points about having to "accept that fear will always be a part of your life" and "picture what moving forward in spite of your fear would look like" were call outs specifically to me. And, of course, her central point that mindless instinct seeks comfort like water flowing downhill, and leads away from the real goals we are trying to achieve. There was a lot in here that I took to apply to my constant battle with eating healthy, but anyone with an uncontrolled behavior that they want to change, but haven't been able to yet, would likely benefit from the clarity laid out in this book.
March 4, 2020
This has some excellent suggestions and ideas, and some parts I skimmed. Overall, a worthwhile read. Like any book, this doesn't have all the answers. but it does have a least a couple of techniques that will help most readers, depending on what they need at the time. Recommended.
Thanks very much for the ARC for review!!
Thanks very much for the ARC for review!!
June 26, 2021
There is a lot to unpack and process after reading through this book. Many of the points made merit pause and long-term processing and analysis, and it would be worthwhile to come back and re-read in other stages of life.
As her first book, I commend Gorton for the effort and deep thinking she put into these pages. She brought up many challenges, and encouraged readers to dig deep into themselves in the uncomfortable process of self reflection in an effort to help them define a fulfilling sense of purpose and direction for their lives.
While I believe many of the points were worth sitting on and deeply digging into, I wish the book was written so that point were presented, and allowed space to process them WHILE continuing the book and reading through the next point. There were numerous encouragements to pause the book and spend days, weeks, or even months thinking through an exercise and then come back to the book where the next exercise would build off the results of the first. I am sure I will continue to process through challenges made to the reader by Gorton, but many readers (myself included) may find that walking away from a book for months before coming back is not an enticing notion. If Gorton had laid the books out that presented and encouraged readers to complete these exercises and put the effort into the challenges while allowing them to move to the next chapter even as they continue to sit on the answers and develop results, this could have been a 4 star review.
As a Christian writer, I also wish Gorton had brought more biblically centered encouragements and truths into her writing. While finding your purpose and defining your values are critical to a fulfilling life, we will be unable to find or define these truths apart from Christ. I am a little disappointed that our core identity in Christ was not addressed, though I acknowledge the difficulties in making Biblical Truth know while still trying to appeal to larger audiences.
As her first book, I commend Gorton for the effort and deep thinking she put into these pages. She brought up many challenges, and encouraged readers to dig deep into themselves in the uncomfortable process of self reflection in an effort to help them define a fulfilling sense of purpose and direction for their lives.
While I believe many of the points were worth sitting on and deeply digging into, I wish the book was written so that point were presented, and allowed space to process them WHILE continuing the book and reading through the next point. There were numerous encouragements to pause the book and spend days, weeks, or even months thinking through an exercise and then come back to the book where the next exercise would build off the results of the first. I am sure I will continue to process through challenges made to the reader by Gorton, but many readers (myself included) may find that walking away from a book for months before coming back is not an enticing notion. If Gorton had laid the books out that presented and encouraged readers to complete these exercises and put the effort into the challenges while allowing them to move to the next chapter even as they continue to sit on the answers and develop results, this could have been a 4 star review.
As a Christian writer, I also wish Gorton had brought more biblically centered encouragements and truths into her writing. While finding your purpose and defining your values are critical to a fulfilling life, we will be unable to find or define these truths apart from Christ. I am a little disappointed that our core identity in Christ was not addressed, though I acknowledge the difficulties in making Biblical Truth know while still trying to appeal to larger audiences.
September 29, 2023
“What can we do to embrace the uncomfortable? And what might be the outcome if we are willing to step in to the space? And what is really the greatest barrier that prevents us from going there?”
“We have to commit to purposeful, thoughtful reflection on our daily decisions if we hope to align with our values and purposes. This is simply a non negotiable.”
“We have to commit to purposeful, thoughtful reflection on our daily decisions if we hope to align with our values and purposes. This is simply a non negotiable.”
June 5, 2020
The author made valid points about what is comfortable and considered the easy choice in situations usually doesn't offer long-term contentedness. By making difficult choices in the short term, we set ourselves up for a more authentic existence filled with inner peace.
July 10, 2022
Very helpful read. One I will try to come back to often as a reminder and support of what I am working on and ideas for more to work on.
Also, pretty entertaining with how she chose to humbly share her life experiences.
Also, pretty entertaining with how she chose to humbly share her life experiences.
March 30, 2025
Good read with my mentor on how to embrace uncomfortable situations and accomplish what God has designed me to do on this earth.
February 25, 2020
Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this arc in exchange for an honest review.
For someone who overthinks a lot, I was determined to read this book and hope to get something out of it. In all honesty, this book was okay. I definitely preferred the second half to the first Which is why I'm giving it three out of five stars.
I thought the first half was full of information and repetition on advice such as:
'Saying No',
the 'power of giving back to others', 'accepting people for who they are'
and 'asking for help when you need it'.
Personally, I believe it was all stretched out to fill this book. I had mostly skimmed this half of the section because I didn't see a point to repeating and reiterating the knowledge and advice already given in such a short span of reading it. Also knowing this information previously, I didn't think that much needed to be written for it however, that is more a personal problem than a fault of the book.
The second half I got more out of and was actually interested and curious to read more about 'Embracing the Uncomfortable'.
As mentioned, this half also had repeated information and the chapters didn't need to be as long as they were, but this time felt more like reflection rather than continuous repetition.
The chapters I enjoyed were:
Radical Acceptance,
Balancing Feeling vs Fact,
Justification, Minimization, and Denial,
and,
Conquering the "Failure" Lie... and Other Battles
With these chapters I really understood what the author meant by embracing the uncomfortable and, by doing so accepting yourself and your life so far.
There are definitely aspects to this book that I really enjoyed and I believe others will get some knowledge or understanding of themselves out of reading this book.
For someone who overthinks a lot, I was determined to read this book and hope to get something out of it. In all honesty, this book was okay. I definitely preferred the second half to the first Which is why I'm giving it three out of five stars.
I thought the first half was full of information and repetition on advice such as:
'Saying No',
the 'power of giving back to others', 'accepting people for who they are'
and 'asking for help when you need it'.
Personally, I believe it was all stretched out to fill this book. I had mostly skimmed this half of the section because I didn't see a point to repeating and reiterating the knowledge and advice already given in such a short span of reading it. Also knowing this information previously, I didn't think that much needed to be written for it however, that is more a personal problem than a fault of the book.
The second half I got more out of and was actually interested and curious to read more about 'Embracing the Uncomfortable'.
As mentioned, this half also had repeated information and the chapters didn't need to be as long as they were, but this time felt more like reflection rather than continuous repetition.
The chapters I enjoyed were:
Radical Acceptance,
Balancing Feeling vs Fact,
Justification, Minimization, and Denial,
and,
Conquering the "Failure" Lie... and Other Battles
With these chapters I really understood what the author meant by embracing the uncomfortable and, by doing so accepting yourself and your life so far.
There are definitely aspects to this book that I really enjoyed and I believe others will get some knowledge or understanding of themselves out of reading this book.
February 24, 2022
From a biblical perspective, most of my blog posts emphasize the importance of change; as it relates to maintaining your focus in finding and fulfilling your purpose/destiny. Which is why I requested EMBRACING Uncomfortable; hoping to find some spiritual substance that would help my readers along the way in finding the two points aforementioned—which are in the book.
However, upon reading this book, I could not help but feel I was reading a Psych-Sociology 101 textbook. With a compilation of personal case studies as the writer unfolds phases of self-analyzation as change relates to the negative thinking dictated by our innate mindsets. Which is usually set on auto-pilot from our deceptive thought patterns or placed upon us by other’s opinions. Referencing everything from feeling guilty of being single, as was one of the writer’s issues at the onset; to her constituents’ fear of failure and a plethora of emotion references in the outlay. One such, the fantasy of denial.
The reader can appreciate how transparent the writer is with her own personal experiences as it aids in the comparative analysis of one’s own life. Thereby, creating techniques challenging you to apply certain nuances, such as radical acceptance.
In these 179 pages, you will also find different workbook activities; which aid you in discovering the deeper reasons for why you prefer comfort instead of change. I felt as though some of the answers were commonsensical in nature. Such as choosing short-term validation. A choice that will take you down the path of increased dissatisfaction and trouble long term, as we further distance ourselves from what our actual values may or may not be. Or taking a station break in a world full of “go”.
If you like reading intellectual books with a clinically psychological spin; that has you pencil to papering your way heart first into your issues. EMBRACING Uncomfortable is definitely the book for you. By all means pick it up—it may serve you well. Some people have to take this route in order to get their breakthrough. Hands on sometimes serves as a better memory reinforcement method than memorization itself.
There are many disciplines in EMBRACING Uncomfortable that are good for the human spirit; such as Don’t look for the “right” answer, look for the “you” answer. (pg. 77) “Radical acceptance challenges us to willingly receive our present reality despite what put us there.” (pg. 105) “Stop allowing the excuses of things you’ve miscategorized as impossibilities prevent you from living out who you’ve been purposed to be.” (pg. 166) Perhaps you will find the ability to apply Dr.Gorton’s strategies in finding the right formula for placing your actions and true personality in the same positive spheres. The necessary tools launching the changes you really want in your life. Thereby, setting you on the right path to your purpose.
Whether radical or not, change is something we must all learn to adopt and accept if we truly desire to improve our lives spiritually, physically and mentally. None of us is perfect. We all have flaws to some degree. Maybe not on the outside—but surely on the inside. What routes we choose to take in improving or erasing these flaws; totally depend on how life’s circumstances have affected who we are, what we are, where we are, and where we’re heading. And by investigating these characterizations, creates an accountability for each of us to challenge ourselves by being the truth-based versions of ourselves; wherewith finding the whys or why nots of our choices to take the mythologically comfortable way out in life.
This book is provided to me courtesy of Moody Publishers in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
However, upon reading this book, I could not help but feel I was reading a Psych-Sociology 101 textbook. With a compilation of personal case studies as the writer unfolds phases of self-analyzation as change relates to the negative thinking dictated by our innate mindsets. Which is usually set on auto-pilot from our deceptive thought patterns or placed upon us by other’s opinions. Referencing everything from feeling guilty of being single, as was one of the writer’s issues at the onset; to her constituents’ fear of failure and a plethora of emotion references in the outlay. One such, the fantasy of denial.
The reader can appreciate how transparent the writer is with her own personal experiences as it aids in the comparative analysis of one’s own life. Thereby, creating techniques challenging you to apply certain nuances, such as radical acceptance.
In these 179 pages, you will also find different workbook activities; which aid you in discovering the deeper reasons for why you prefer comfort instead of change. I felt as though some of the answers were commonsensical in nature. Such as choosing short-term validation. A choice that will take you down the path of increased dissatisfaction and trouble long term, as we further distance ourselves from what our actual values may or may not be. Or taking a station break in a world full of “go”.
If you like reading intellectual books with a clinically psychological spin; that has you pencil to papering your way heart first into your issues. EMBRACING Uncomfortable is definitely the book for you. By all means pick it up—it may serve you well. Some people have to take this route in order to get their breakthrough. Hands on sometimes serves as a better memory reinforcement method than memorization itself.
There are many disciplines in EMBRACING Uncomfortable that are good for the human spirit; such as Don’t look for the “right” answer, look for the “you” answer. (pg. 77) “Radical acceptance challenges us to willingly receive our present reality despite what put us there.” (pg. 105) “Stop allowing the excuses of things you’ve miscategorized as impossibilities prevent you from living out who you’ve been purposed to be.” (pg. 166) Perhaps you will find the ability to apply Dr.Gorton’s strategies in finding the right formula for placing your actions and true personality in the same positive spheres. The necessary tools launching the changes you really want in your life. Thereby, setting you on the right path to your purpose.
Whether radical or not, change is something we must all learn to adopt and accept if we truly desire to improve our lives spiritually, physically and mentally. None of us is perfect. We all have flaws to some degree. Maybe not on the outside—but surely on the inside. What routes we choose to take in improving or erasing these flaws; totally depend on how life’s circumstances have affected who we are, what we are, where we are, and where we’re heading. And by investigating these characterizations, creates an accountability for each of us to challenge ourselves by being the truth-based versions of ourselves; wherewith finding the whys or why nots of our choices to take the mythologically comfortable way out in life.
This book is provided to me courtesy of Moody Publishers in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
February 5, 2020
This book was really hard to read. Just really slow. Boring. And what I felt gave no real tangible advise on what I can specifically do as someone who struggles with social anxiety and the ability to truly be uncomfortable. The only example that the author gave that I felt I even was entertained by or connected to was when she spoke of opening her apartment on accident in Chicago for the art walk. Maybe I missed the point or just didn’t connect.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews