Between People: Communicating One to One

by John A. Sanford

The tens of thousands of persons who have read Sanford's books will welcome this book that examines the hidden agenda of everyday communications between people. †

Genres: Psychology, Relationships, Self Help

92 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1981

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dated at times, but I really liked many of his insights, such as waiting for the other person's agenda to be expressed, and real vs false guilt.

[Joyce L. Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the author reminds us, many relationship problems have at their root a failure to communicate. He cleverly draws an analogy between one-to-one communication and a game of catch. Perhaps the communication stops dead because one of the players gets mad and refuses to "throw the ball back". Or a very angry player may throw "the ball" so hard it hurts. The author, John Sanford, a Jungian analyst, speaks plainly and I'm sure you'll sheepishly recognize yourself, or perhaps your partner, in these pages. His advice, of course, is to keep the ball going back and forth gently using some very basic techniques like creative listening and watching for emotion explosions, indirect communication and shape-shifting.

I re-read this book after a decade and still found it helpful. I'd like to think I learned something the first time, but there were things I saw in a new light the second time around. This little book is worth space on your reference shelf.

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a 3.5. As a therapist, I'm always looking for books to recommend. This book has a lot of good concepts in it, and helpful information, though it is a little dense. It's a short read, but very heavy on material. He uses a lot of metaphors and pulls from the bible, greek mythology, and jungian psychology. If you aren't familiar, you might get lost. It ends abruptly, and I would have loved to see more suggestions on how to work on your communication. Overall, for someone who is struggling, this book could be a good starting point for understanding basic concepts of communication, and gaining insight on what may need to be addressed.

[Bri · Rating 3 out of 5]

i would agree with previous review in that this book is a little bit dated, i appreciate the length though

[Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I keep going back to this book. Written by a pastor, it nonethless contains some amazing insight into how communication can break down between people in all sorts of relationships. Highly recommended.

[Edward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sanford clearly shares his insights on communication. He's not too wordy and uses simple examples to illustrate his points. A great read for those who need are looking to shed light on a very fundamental area of life.