Ich bin doch dein Vater!

by Wang Shuo

Un père, Ma Linsheng, divorcé, modeste employé de librairie, tout à la fois autoritaire et timoré. Un fils, Ma Rui, surdoué et rebelle. Deux générations qui se heurtent et s'apprivoisent, deux êtres qui tentent de reconquérir la confiance perdue après le drame sanglant de Tian'anmen. Ma Linsheng, dérouté par tant de désillusions, cache son amertume. Mais comment freiner l'impétuosité de Ma Rui ? Au fil des jours, tandis que Pékin s'adonne aux Jeux panasiatiques, une complicité émouvante s'installe entre le père et le fils. A la fois réaliste, cruel et sensible, Je suis ton papa exprime avec force le désastre moral qui étreint la jeunesse chinoise. Usant de la dérision, Wang Shuo parodie la langue de bois, réinvente l'argot, confirmant l'époustouflante modernité de son style. Dans ce portrait à vif de son pays, l'insolent Pékinois se fait le porte-parole de la génération à venir.

Genres: China, Fiction

397 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Wang Shuo(王朔) is a Chinese author, director, actor, and cultural icon. He has written over 20 novels, television series and movies. His work has been translated into Japanese, French, English, Italian, and many other languages. He has enormous cultural status in China and has become a nationally celebrated author.

Reviews

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is always a child in any adult's heart. The father in this story wants to be his son's friend, seeing the conserved relationship with him and his son. He didn't want to act like a stranger to his son, he wants to be close, he wants them to tell each other secrets. He says that he did that to try to understand his son more, but it's ultimately just an excuse for his own desire to go back in time when he didn't have to care about everything. When people just hang out but are not in charge of each other. Yet in the end, he had to face the fact, whether he likes it or not, that he had to act more responsible, restrain himself. He had to accept the "new world" he's in. Seeing his son being so independent and distant, having fun without him, he was jealous and wanted to rejoin that world. The adult society is quite dull for him, and a lot of people. Work, and has to take care of his son. Yet he would be a monster if he didn't care for the son he "made" because the contract of a father to son obligation was signed the moment of one's birth. So the question to him was: To break the contract? Or to be stuck in this contract?
Yet this idea of being "stuck in" is precisely why he wasn't able to enjoy his current life. There are different enjoyments to people of every stage of their lives, to try to regain the same past joy as a child when there's now so much responsibility one needs to acknowledge is just an act of irresponsibility to himself and his child. No matter what he tries to tell himself, his age is a fact nobody can change. As one grows older, one has to be more selfless because it has become not just a matter of acknowledging others in the world, but also a matter of acting with this acknowledgment.

A parent's duty is to suppress freedom in many ways. The kids want freedom, yet they also know in their hearts there is a fire of youth in their hearts that can not be put out by themselves. Parents are experienced people, they lived the same age as their children and they know a lot that their children don't. They are the lighthouse operator for the sails who leaves for the dark sea. Their lives are confusing, and until it is the time they have to be at their lighthouse, they will finally realize the feelings of a father. There is nothing one can make a child do for him to fully appreciate his father unless he becomes one.

The book is centered around a father and son relationship. Father and son are so similar, they are like looking into a mirror of one's past, and this sight terrifies them because he sees the mistakes and wants to change them. Yet there are still certain things that can not be changed. It is natural, but it might be bad. The disgust is at themselves from the inability to change anything. Yet there is something that can still be changed. Like fighting or smoking, you can't drive them away from this inner rebellious desire to explore new things, but you can restrain their actions by changing their minds with the experience of someone who had been in the same situation.

Another interesting point is that when the father changed into a man on the same level as his son, his son pointed out his mistakes too. Which is just another example of the difference between the two worlds. There are different mistakes made at different times, some can be changed, some can not. Many dismiss the idea of changing because they wrongly assume that some things are naturally part of life and can not be changed.

We have to accept our defeat to the God of time sometimes because we will fall apart if we don't. Old man acting young and young man acting old? Just live now, as your own age, and when you grow older, you will understand your old man.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some time ago I watched a Kdrama, Mother, which was like a study of the relationship between a mother and daughter and what it really means to become a mother (it's a really great show, please watch it). I was wondering if there were any such 'relationship studies' of the father-son relationship and this book kind of scratches that itch.

Wang Shuo writes in a witty and humorous way about a lone father and son pair. I loved his writing. There were some really funny but lovely descriptions of the various characters (the scene with the father sitting in the living room smoking comes to mind). What elevates this book beyond a humorous story is the level of nuance and attention given to the psyches and relationships of the characters. We have a divorced father, but he is a child at heart, and in fact, sometimes the roles of father and son are reversed. He feels responsibility to be a good role model and father figure towards his son, but at the same time, wants to be the fun, young and free person he was when he was a son.

Much tragicomedy arises from this. For instance, he tells his son at one point to see him as a peer and a friend, not a father, and this attempt to equalize the relationship (and maybe free himself from responsibility) snowballs into a bunch of funny and disastrous consequences. There is a cast of colorful side characters, from the son's friends and classmates, to the father's friends and neighbors, and the school's teachers.

There's a warmth in Wang Shuo's descriptions of these characters day to day life and he creates very life-like and evocative images of life in Beijing's alleys in the 80s. The themes remind me of Go Ahead and The Time Never Back. Sadly I think this is not translated.

[V · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written in a humurous and pure Beijing dialect, this book depicted life in the crammed 'hutong' (alleyway) community of the 80s with admirable accuracy. Its analysis of a divorced father's dilemma between love and control towards his son in the context of a dysfunctional society where there was no space for individual freedom and dismal protection for the vulnerable was sharp and alarming. Despite the frequent derailment of some best-intended actions, the main characters found love and friendship, in sometimes unexpected places, which left the reader with hope shining like little sparks through the cinders of the post-cultural revolution era. I loved the combination of wit and Beijing language and bought another book by Wang Shuo immediately.

[Barack Liu · Rating 4 out of 5]

206-Wo Shi Ni Baba-Wang Shuo-Novel-1991
Barack
2019/02/06
2020/06/18


- Communication is a prerequisite for confidence-building.

"I Am Your Dad" was first published in China in 1991. It tells the story of a knowledgeable and intelligent bookstore salesperson Ma Linsheng living alone with his son Ma Rui after a divorce.

Wang Shuo was born in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province in 1958. He was born in a military compound, his father was an officer and instructor, and his mother was a doctor. Studied in Beijing No. 44 Middle School. He joined the army in 1977, began to write and publish literary works in 1978, and was discharged in 1980. Representative works: "Animal Fierce", "Half Sea and Half Flame", "Looks Beautiful", "I Am Your Dad", etc.

Part of the catalog
1. Chapter One
2. Chapter Two
3. Chapter Seventeen
4. Chapter Eighteen

Lu Xun once wrote in an article that a person should keep a diary when he is a son, such as: Today I want to go to the park to play, but my father did not allow me to go out. When he was a father, he took it out to read, so that when his son made this request, he could recall that he had such a need.

Unfortunately, when a person has been a father for too long, it is easy to forget what it is like to be a son. As early as around 2014, I started to imagine how I would communicate with my children in the future. I have not been with them for a long time, just 18 years, but for them, this will be the most important 18 years of their lives.

When a person falls to the ground, it is like a little beast that is beginning to grow. In the first few years of his life, you can hardly reason with him. And once the idea of "he is just a child and cannot explain the truth to him" arises, due to the inertia of thinking, parents often ignore the rapid growth of their children, thus neglecting to have equal dialogue and communication with their children. Even after their children have left home for many years, they may realize that their children are already sound adults.

Children actually have a very good memory. When they are young, they will see and hear many things they don't understand. Parents often deceive themselves and think, "Children, it doesn't matter what he understands." But a few years will not pass. They will understand what happened that year.

In fact, I think that parents are the most difficult responsibilities in the world. A person who is irritable, impatient and caring, I think it is difficult to become a competent parent. When a parent says something like, "You were born to me, so how?" It can be seen that in their hearts they did not regard their children as equal communication individuals.

I think that when a person falls to the ground, he should be regarded as an independent person, not someone's vassal, but he temporarily lacks the ability to take care of himself. Unfortunately, most people don't think so.

I do not blindly use violence against my children as one of the educational methods, but I firmly oppose violence as the most effective method. But for a parent who lacks love and patience for their children, this is definitely a very effective approach. Just like a dictator always tends to use the army as the first choice for governing the country.

I have some immature ideas about how to treat my children in the future. When they are of the right age, I will open personal accounts for them to provide them with some opportunities to earn money, such as: doing housework, completing homework on time, etc., and only advise them on how to spend their own money without interfering, so that children can grow up Have a correct understanding of money. When it comes to major family matters, I will organize a family meeting to discuss together, everyone has the same vote, so that children feel equal and respected.

No matter how busy I am, I hope that on average I can spend an hour with my child every day, so that he can feel what family affection is. I will ask them to share the most interesting things they have done this week or a book they read every week, so that they can learn to have fun from learning and the ability to speak. I also want to give them opportunities to be exposed to all kinds of new things, and strive to let them find the career they have pursued in their life before the age of 18.

I have so many things I hope to do with them, so I have to become better today. If a father can't do everything he uses to educate his children, then such education is meaningless .

" When I was a child, I always felt that being a dad for other kids was a decent and glorious advantage. When I was a dad, I missed the time of being a son ."

Being a father is not so much fun, it cannot be said to be a responsibility. Those who have become fathers can no longer just meet their own needs as they did when they were single . And to start all the time thinking about the children make a good example. In addition, we have to bear more economic pressure. If a person is not careful about marriage and raising children. It will mess up your own life , and it will also bring shadows to your child's childhood.

"The TV shows that there is ample supply of industrial production and agricultural harvest markets, followed by cadres from different industries in meetings. Well-dressed leaders of the country smiled and met foreign dignitaries, tycoons and other people of different skin colors. Qing' time passed, poor! It is a date. In the past, when there were famine years, the people didn’t eat anything, so they went to harvest jujubes--hoh, now they have a good harvest..." "Isn't this what? In the past, it was a vinegar factory, how did you change the winery now? Oh, probably the raw materials and crops have been changed, so they are simple because of their ugliness..." Ma Linsheng commented as he ate, introduced the background, and said to his son solemnly from time to time, pointing to a distinguished husband who appeared on the screen.

"This person has bought books in our bookstore. He is very knowledgeable and very kind. I recommend many books to him..." "Do you have an impression of this person? One of the texts you learned was written by him when he was a child. "Spring to Fenhe". I can’t compliment this old man’s writing style. Half a century has passed, as he did when he was a child. The books are out of books. Right now we have to put his books on the children’s counter for sale. I It's a book maker, I know him..." In the midst of talking and laughing, Ma Linsheng had finished his noodles, put his dishes aside, still staring at the TV screen with relish, talking to himself and making comments. "It's him again, it's him again, how come the longer it gets, the more like a panda..."

He turned and glanced at his son, "finished? Go eat a bowl brush, brush each we each bowl." Rui Ma sat still, "I'm so on." "What this and other? I had said too , Everyone’s bowl is cleaned, you should learn to take care of your own life." "I want to see if there are places on this TV that you don’t know and haven’t been to." Ma Linsheng stumbled and took a look. Son, don't say anything. "

Most men have the problem of losing face. Like to brag. If a person can frankly admit the flaws of his lack of knowledge. Perhaps he is more respected than his swollen face and fat man.

"The father and son had a heated discussion about the military strength of the United States and Iran. Once the exchange of fire occurred, the possible battle. The discussion later turned into a mutual understanding. Ma Lin sighed: "To say that in the world today, there are really a few United States like this. Yes, I take the world as my responsibility. Anything in the world is as anxious as my home is on fire. In more than one hundred countries, just like more than one hundred children, there must be a few mischievous people all the time..." "Yes, there must be a United States who volunteers to be the father of the people of the world. of. "

Ma Rui spoke in a serious manner, "But this dad is so old now, and he is a little unmoved when he meets an elder son with a strong body like Iraq. You have to greet all the older brothers to help..." "I say you How can I be so clear about international affairs at a young age—the wind changes? Ma Linsheng felt a little uncomfortable listening to it, so he coldly said, "Why are you so clear about these things? "I'm concerned, and the classmates have nothing to talk about." "Ma Rui was discouraged and said lazily. Ma Linsheng looked at his son, "I can't say these things at your age, right? "Ma Rui glanced at his father, his eyes seemed to be sympathetic. "

" Is it not good for me to use this time to learn some new knowledge?" Ma Rui begged. "You have learned a lot of miscellaneous knowledge---something you still use!" Ma Lin had a stern face, "It's useless if you don't fight anymore, just do as I said, otherwise, I'm afraid you have to do it after crying--you'd better recognize the situation. "Ma Rui looked at his father angrily. Ma Linsheng looked like a wind and rain hitting a motionless reef without blinking. Ma Rui obeyed, and went to get his schoolbag with humiliation in his eyes. "

The more a career loser, the more he likes to find satisfaction from his children. Because I can't find self-worth in my career, I like to bully people who are weaker than myself, and I tend to come to my children to dominate .

" He has been like a lonely night companion for almost ten years. His profession makes him instinctively choose writing as a way of leisure. At first, when he was a simple-minded young man, he could still take those simple thoughts Appeal to words. As his thoughts mature and his horizons widen, he can hardly write. Whenever he sits down in this quiet corner with a calm heart, his brain makes a pot boil like a coal fire, and the pot boiling is similar The century-old soup of those famous grilled chickens. This soup is so sticky, the flavors are so mixed that it can’t be refreshing to make a side dish unless the top of the pot is served quickly. Countless wonderful pieces like boiled fat constantly rolling up and heavy sediment down, the spark of inspiration as firecrackers in his mind Slap Slap Baba explosion and silent. he did not like the old masters a assistant, watched their valuable talents with birth and death as his helpless distress, anxiety Even secretly weeping, even the most trivial thought recorded is enough to shock the world!

He tried to suppress the splash of his talent, forcing himself to learn the patience and order of craftsmen, but he couldn't stop it! Who can control the eruption of a volcano to benefit mankind, such as heating and cooking? Later, he got used to it. For a while, he even wanted to be an editor, giving his talents free of charge to those mediocre people who can bear the temper and are good at writing thousands of people. This is like the combination of Japanese technology and Chinese resources. What a terrible force formed! Of course, this thought was the same as all his other thoughts. However, this made him realize the fact that the best articles only exist in the minds of some unknown people. He is proud of having such a mind. "

There is no thought of writing down. There is no plan to put it into practice. It's the same as an aborted baby who didn't come into this world . No matter how shocking he could have been. But as long as he didn't come to the material world from the virtual spiritual world. Then, it doesn't make much sense.

" Ma Rui in answer to his father's careful inquiry sentence had very serious answer hee hee, said he was afraid his father, a man can not take care of themselves, calendar and mother left to bear responsibility. Looks like they had the allegiance Ken said with tears : "I'm afraid you will forget me. Mom will never forget me. "Although Ma Rui said that it moved Ma Linsheng, common sense told him that this was by no means the real reason. Beautiful words can make people feel relieved as if they were drinking, but they can only numb naive people. Don’t want to be like Ma Linsheng. Such a well-informed veteran! No one has taught him, and I forgot when it started. It is entirely based on Ma Linsheng’s own cleverness. He has mastered rather than developed a biological instinct , like a cold skin. It's the same as getting goose bumps: Once someone fills you with rice soup sincerely, they must put their hands in their pockets.

The facts quickly proved that Ma Linsheng's caution was justified. From the day when his wife left, Ma Rui knew that his father lived alone, he has never experienced even the slightest bit of pain. He's not like a lonely kid without a mother. He was calm, divided the work with the father, and was busy with his own affairs every day. My father didn't take the initiative, he didn't even ask for advice on the smallest things, and completely took care of himself. Look at what he said to his father, he didn't care about it, like a quiet shop assistant. His own child made the feeling of that distant relative. "

When children need parents when they are young. Parents may be annoying. But when the children grow up. Able to be independent and no longer need parents . Parents may feel lost again.

"The two children murmured in the room, bursting into unfettered, heartfelt laughter from time to time, and occasionally heard the sound of teeth hitting the glass when drinking water and the gurgling of water flowing into their throats. Theirs The topic turned to the school gossip, talking about a classmate or teacher that they did not like. Through just a few words, you can find that their harshest evaluation of a person is "too fake." Those who are referred to by them as this evaluation They talk in the most contemptuous tone. Occasionally, they disagree on a certain person and something, but it is more of one person’s easygoing approach to another.

Obviously, they have spoken so closely together more than once, and the conversation is permeated with unreserved trust in each other. How pleasant it is to have a person who has the same opinion and oneself in private and scrupulously criticize others! It is almost a treat. There is no need to circumscribe the corners and words, although use the most rude and extreme words, even the most explicit personal attacks-this kind of outspokenness will not invite disaster but can cause admiration, admiration, and even the opportunity to cast the ground in Ma Linsheng It's a distant thing in his memory. He could even directly feel the excitement and pleasure that his son had when he made such an impassioned performance as if he was saying so. "

Malin Sheng probably will want to join the discussion lonely child , happy to experience this freedom of communication. But naturally between adults and children on separated by a Dao natural moat . It is difficult to cross this sky . So a more realistic approach , is to find an adult to do intimate friends.

[Zhuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

小品味道十足，妙语连珠，很有《围城》的行文风格。父子之间的感情很质朴，很真实，也很感人。父与子放佛有一种天然的冲突，儿子搞得老子都不知道怎么做人了。

[Poetry123 · Rating 4 out of 5]

父子两辈人是因为身份的关系，是无法完全理解对方的。但也因为这层关系，父子之间的感情总是割舍不断的。这是描述父子之间互相相处，以及互相揣摩相处之道的生活心理书。

不管总么说，有爸爸就是好的。爸爸也只有一个。
对爸爸来说，再怎么和孩子当朋友，终究难逃我是你爸爸这一称号所带来的责任和煎熬。

[Anran Sun · Rating 3 out of 5]

書名《我是你爸爸》聽起來霸氣十足，卻是典型的北京式倫理哏，特別常見於北京相聲裡的段子。在中國北方文化中，「當別人的爸爸」或哪怕是自稱伯伯、叔叔，通常只是為了在倫常秩序裡佔點口頭便宜，宣示一種虛虛的優越感，並不帶任何實際的社會或經濟責任。這句話用在北京街頭的互嗆最合適，用在小說標題上，卻立刻帶出一種荒誕又心酸的味道。

這是王朔作品中相對中庸的一本。早年的王朔銳利、玩世不恭，像一把刀子專戳社會虛偽；到了《我是你爸爸》，刀鋒已經被生活磨得沒那麼鋒了，取而代之的是一種疲憊的接受。書裡馬林生這個中年男人，面對青春期兒子馬銳的叛逆、對前妻的怨懟、對自身處境的無力，終於在某個時刻用孩子轉述的話說出：「愛誰誰吧那就！」這句話聽似灑脫，實則滿是認命的無奈，像一聲長嘆，把中年人的疲軟與妥協說得透徹。

小說裡的父子關係，在華人文化圈看來確實顯得另類：父親不威嚴、不負責，兒子不孝順、滿口頂撞，兩人像兩個互相看不順眼的室友，卻又不得不綁在一起。這種關係乍看叛逆，其實不過是中年男子在時代洪流與家庭壓力下，逐漸喪失主導權的寫照。他們的衝突與和解，都沒有驚天動地的戲劇性，只有一種日常的、無可奈何的磨合。

王朔這本書沒有早期作品那種咄咄逼人的鋒芒，卻多了幾分沉澱後的溫厚。那是一種對生活無能為力的共鳴，尤其對已步入中年的讀者來說，更容易產生「原來不只我一個人這樣」的感慨。平淡，卻真實；不激烈，卻有餘韻。

[Aki Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

看似和解團圓的結局其實很悽然，ㄧ個真正從不再年輕的夢醒來，ㄧ個被迫早熟而偽裝。父子倆回家的路在慘白冬陽下越走越荒涼。

[Rn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too much drama but in a bad way.

[Hualei · Rating 5 out of 5]

You feel this is not novel. This is as real as one's autobiography.
Another reason I like the book is the author only includes words that are absolutely necessary. There is no bullshit.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

写的实在是太好了，对人物内心活动的透彻理解和精彩描述简直佩服