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Highland Ecstasy

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SHE HAUNTED HIM WITH PASSION

When his youngest brother fell on the field of battle --- and King George stripped him of his title and lands --- Ian Sinclair swore everlasting vengeance against the English crown. But first the enraged laird had to regain possession of his rightful home. So when Lady Myrtle Prescott showed up, the "Ghost of Kilmarock Castle" set out to scare the pampered heiress away. But nothing seemed to frighten the feisty lass . . . not even his spirited nightly visitations! Then Ian got his first captivating eyeful of her bonny charms, and it was he who was haunted --- by the fiery passion she aroused with just one soul-stirring kiss!

HE MADE HER SWOON WITH DESIRE

When her father died unexpectedly, Lady Myrtle journeyed to Scotland to claim her Highland inheritance. Yet from the moment she arrived at Kilmarock Castle, strange things began happening . . . like a late-night visit from a white-masked intruder with decidedly unghostlike ways! How else could the sensible beauty explain her all-too-real response to the apparition's amorous attentions? Seductive phantom or flesh-and-blood lover, Myrtle couldn't get enough of his clandestine caresses. Let him play the bold deceiver. She'd gladly join him in his midnight masquerade . . . for the promise of a lifetime spent in the unending ecstasy of his haunting embrace!

Swearing vengeance against the British crown for the death of his brother and the loss of his title, Ian Sinclair's first act of revenge lands him in the arms of the pampered Lady Myrtle Prescott.

384 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published April 1, 1993

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About the author

Mary Burkhardt

11 books5 followers

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
Profile Image for Róisín.
55 reviews5 followers
December 18, 2019
**Spoilers**

During an excursion to town with my friend, I found myself feeling a supernatural draw to my local bookshop. It was something I have felt a dozen times before. I was on a hunt - A hunt for a bodice ripper romance with a plot so ridiculous that it makes even the cheesiest Hallmark movies look like Golden Globe nominations. I searched high and low on crooked shelves for something that would sustain this need for chaos, and when I had given up hope I found this book at the counter, buried beneath a pile of abandoned Summer reads. I read the synopsis, and the hunt was over. I found my Prize at 50c.

This book is not a Pulitzer Prize winner. It wouldn't even reach the top ten reads in a book club that gave up after six meetings. It is, by no means, even a good book, and could have easily fallen into the same catagory as hundreds of other romance books left to die in second hand book shops.
However, it encompasses a special kind of chaotic mayhem that makes it an amazing book to me.

In short, the premise is that this Scottish laird, Ian, loses his land and castle, which goes to a family friend of his, Lord Prescott. So Prescott says he'll sort it out, no bother, to help Ian but Ian decides why would he take up a sensible offer like that when he can just fake his own death and pretend to be a ghost. And swear to take on the English. Amazing.

So Prescott's daughter, Myrtle, arrives as the new homeowner a bit later and Ian is just fully ready to fuck this girls life up. He makes her sleep in the dungeon, then haunts her, then gets his staff to bully her. But Myrtle takes no shit from anyone, and after a murder attempt just gets back on her horse and says sorry I've for work to finish here. Like the Queen she is.

Then Ian decides to get her moved to his old room, and nurses her back to health and talks to her through the walls and she's just okay with it. And THEN he has to throw the whole ghost milarky out the window and has to pretend to be a masked imbicile cause she catches him within a WEEK of her moving in, sneaking around the room when she's in the bath.

This book went into so many directions. I haven't even mentioned the fact Ian has a pet mouse or the English soldier that wants to marry her or the brain leaks or just any the rest of the madness that goes on in the book. You never even know the name of the area, just that it's for "The Sinclair Clan" in the Highlands.

The book is absolute insanity. The author had to be taking the mick when she was writing it, but it's so insane that it's god damn hilarious. Hell, I kept notes on parts that were meant to be sexy but came off as bizarre, really ridiculous scenes and murder attempts. The book is currently doing the rounds in my friend group because I needed someone else to read this god damn weird book.

That is, however, why I liked it. I loved how bat-shit insane it is, I loved how Myrtle stands up for herself and tells people to go fuck themselves when they try to kill her, and I loved how all the conflict is resolved in like three pages each. Her sleeping in the dungeon lasted ONE night, him being a ghost lasted a WEEK after months of planning, a fueding FAMILY decide to let their kids marry in an AFTERNOON and she just talks and falls in love with a painting, and doesn't question why some man walks about with a leather mask all day.

This book brought me to a better place after a hard few weeks of unemployment, loneliness, and no direction. Its not a sexy book, but its a funny book that releases a very chaotic sense of humour in all of us.

If not for that, read it for the weirdness.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
120 reviews1 follower
April 16, 2024
20 years ago, my idiot friends and I ran a romance novel exchange out of the trunks of our cars, often handing them off in our church parking lots and stashing them underneath our mattresses like drugs. Abstinence only sex education had left us with more questions than answers, and we breathlessly sought knowledge from these tomes. This was the book that started it all, the very first book that entered our circle. I had a recovered memory about it the other day, and, upon seeing that it was available on Amazon, promptly ordered it.

He's a 10, but he fakes his own death, makes you sleep in the basement, flaps around your bedroom pretending to be a ghost, peeps at you in the tub then fakes a mental handicap to get out of it, then bamboozles the king to force you to marry him. Still a 10, right? At least that's what this book will have you believe. This is book is absolutely nuts and yet the only time I could put it down was to wipe tears away from my eyes from laughing.

The madness begins with the cover. Myrtle is described, ad nauseum, as this giant elephant of a woman and the cover portrays her as objectively pretty thin. I could write this off as due the time period in which it takes place, except Myrtle is also beat for the gods in early 90s glam—grey eyeshadow, super dark, low blush, Brooke Shields eyebrows, heavily highlighted pompador. It's actually kind of amazing that I even noticed, given the insane anachronism of Ian's straight up mullet, his full body tan, and his enormous sausage patty nipples. Already off to a strong start and I haven't even read the first page.

The plot is absolutely nuts. Here are real things that happen:
- Ian, rather than entrusting his land to his best friend, fakes his own death
- Ian terrorizes Myrtle in the basement, pretending to be a ghost. Ghost Ian and Myrtle have full blown conversations, during which he plays the harpsichord for her, which Myrtle doesn't find weird AT ALL. These ghoul antics last for literally two nights, and are NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN.
- Ian tries to get something out of her room, and upon discovering that she's taking a bath, STAYS IN THE ROOM. He gets caught basically immediately and to get out of it and to explain the creepy mask he's wearing, a servant lies and says Ian had smallpox (a decent lie) and adds that he's a MENTALLY HANDICAPPED ORPHAN NAMED URISK (a completely unnecessary and pointless lie???).
- Ian has a pet mouse that only serves to function as a device for Myrtle, a virgin, to explain sex and consent to a person she thinks is a mentally handicapped 27 year old who has just been sexually assaulted.
- Myrtle gives """""Urisk""""" several custom handmade gifts including a jacket within 48 hours of meeting him, like literally how is that possible
- Myrtle's cartoonishly evil boyfriend openly bullies """"""Urisk"""""", calling him names like "looney", "clod pate", "moron", "bonehead", "moronic swine", "dimwit", "rattlebrain", and "son of a pox-ridden whore", TO HIS FACE. AND IN FRONT OF MYRTLE. It would have been a subtle piece of storytelling if he were kind to """"""Urisk""""""" when they were in front of Myrtle and horrible to him when they were alone, and for Ian to be unable to communicate to Myrtle about it because of the role he's playing, but nah, no subtlety, it's more fun this way
- Myrtle's boyfriend's cartoonishly ignorant family, including a sister who misspells "yellow"
- Myrtle falls in love with a painting
- home makeover, castle edition!
- multiple violent yet goofy murder attempts by the most incompetent hit men of all time
- ~ brain leaks~
- an unhinged picnic where Myrtle gets absolutely hammered and talks to """""Urisk""""""" about some erotica she found in the castle and sexy dreams she has and how sad she is that she never got a chance to bang Ian. Keep in mind, """"""Urisk""""""" is supposed to have been Ian's servant until Ian died. Great topics for a picnic, Myrtle!
- after nearly beating her to death because of a ~prophecy~ the clansmen suddenly pivot to suggesting that Myrtle marry Ian Sinclair, who turns out to be alive after all. She says no, and then he forces her to marry him. SO ROMANTIC.
- a couple of tacky sex scenes that made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to be sick. "Then do not wait, my pirate prince"? AWFUL. I'm not going to include any more quotes from those scenes because I genuinely think it'll land me on an FBI watch list.

At several points, I paused and wondered, "wait, if that's true... then why did this character just do everything they have been doing for the entire book so far?" Don't do that. Ours is not to reason why.

The dialog is simply the worst. It forces characters to discuss others' appearance in a way that is stilted, heavy handed, and frankly insane, because LITERALLY NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT. Here are my favorite examples:

"No doubt you will see many of his bastards running about these hills with the Sinclair reddish-blonde hair and those distinctive golden eyes the superstitious Scots talk about."

"Aye, but I gave the black-eyed lass my word we'd never tell her father on her."

"I don't mind the reddish-blond stubble on your face, thought it will probably singe my skin when I kiss you in a moment."

Honorable mention insane dialog:
"I thought you and Angus might enjoy having a little of the plaid for yourself. You undertand, of course, I could not openly have any of the clothes nor bolts of cloth coming later, in any tartan color. I know if any English soldier catches a Scot wearing the plaid, it means six months' imprisonment for the first offense and seven years' transportation to a colonial plantation for the second." Very cool and normal breakfast talk, Myrtle.

Look, I do love Myrtle. She's funny, determined, resilient, and proud, and yet still manages to be dignified and gracious. She prioritized teaching """""Urisk"""""" about consent even though she felt uncomfortable talking about it. She is the saving grace of this cornucopia of literary madness, even if she does fall in love WITH A PAINTING.
Profile Image for Caroline.
Author 3 books51 followers
November 3, 2018
Oh...what could have been and wasn't. So much potential and ended up a snooze fest.
Profile Image for Maggie.
67 reviews
January 19, 2023
Idk what I expected but it was pretty awful! Picked it up for the promised steamy scenes not the story, but somehow it had neither 🤷‍♀️
Profile Image for I_love_a_happily_ever_after.
195 reviews6 followers
July 8, 2009
Well, I picked this up at a used book sale,it is over ten years old. I thought it had promise, but I was disappointed. I do not like to give bad reviews because I do not want to hurt the author's feelings, but the head hopping in this book was the worst I have ever read. I muddled though it though, because I was so enticed and intrigued with the heroine's relationship with the ghost of Ian. Once Ian showed himself and became the simpleminded retarded boy, I lost all interest. I have much compassion for people with special needs, but I was appalled at how the heroine was in a way taking advantage of someone she thought was brain damaged (Even though the reader knew he was not.) The ending also seemed very contrived, and the evil girl flipped to being charming and in love so fast, it left me confused. Since she was in love with someone other than our hero, her motivation to hurt the heroine would not have existed. It was difficult to finish this book. This book is quite old, so I am sure the writer has improved on these technical and stylistic issues. I would be willing to try her writing again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jalen Waltman.
7 reviews
April 14, 2016
I own this book in paperback and have read it through at least three times over the years. It's an old-school historical romance featuring a BBW (way before its time!) and a funny, hot, strong hero. The story is sexy, hilarious, endearing, and just about perfect (to me.) I wish I could find more authors like Mary Burkhardt in today's day and time!
Profile Image for Andrea.
620 reviews9 followers
April 7, 2011
I got to tell you this one was funny but just a little tacky. I enjoyed it overall and did pass it on to someone else.
5 reviews1 follower
August 23, 2018
I liked this one a lot. The characters made me laugh. And it was good to see a heroine that was a capable woman.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews