Finding Freedom: How Death Row Broke and Opened My Heart

by Jarvis Jay Masters, Pema Chödrön (Foreword), Melody Ermachild Chavis (Introduction)

There are many forms of liberation—some that exist at the mercy of circumstance and others that can never be taken away. In this stirring and timely collection of stories, essays, poems, and letters, Jarvis Jay Masters explores the meaning of true freedom on his road to inner peace through Buddhist practice. He reveals his life as a young African American man surrounded by violence, his entanglement in the criminal justice system, and—following an encounter with Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche—an unfolding commitment to nonviolence and peacemaking. At turns joyful, heartbreaking, frightening, and soaring with profound insight, Masters’s story offers a vision of hope and the possibility of freedom in even the darkest of times.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Buddhism, Spirituality, Biography, Social Justice, Biography Memoir

176 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1997

About the author

An inmate at San Quentin since he was 19, JARVIS JAY MASTERS was moved to death row in 1990 (for alleged participation in the killing of a prison guard). Masters was converted to Buddhism several years later and has inspired the interest of leaders in the American Buddhist community. While in prison he wrote and published one book, Finding Freedom, as well as many articles which have appeared mostly in newspapers and Buddhist magazines. In 1992, Masters won a PEN Award for his poem, “Recipe for Prison Pruno.” Based on the lack of substantial evidence for Masters participation in the murder, in April 2008 the California Supreme Court ordered an evidentiary hearing, and Masters’ attorneys believe his conviction will be overturned within the year.

Reviews

[audled]

Jarvis’s story both “broke and opened“ MY heart. I cried so many times reading this book. But the words inside are just as much heartwarming as they are heartbreaking. Jarvis doesn’t go into detail whatsoever about how he got into prison/death row, or that he wants to get out. He simply shares with us his experience there and the experience of his fellow inmates.

[Karla Strand · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memorable quotes:

"There was no room for wonder in my life." page 66

"Night's bright stars,
celebrating life's dream;
while peace sits still." page 109

"For a long time I had been my own stranger, but everything I went through in learning how to accept myself brought me to the doorsteps of dharma, the Buddhist path." page 111

"He was a lama who ate beef jerky, got upset, and had jewels of compassion in him." page 113

"'There may just be a taste of Buddha in us all.'" page 129

"Meditation has become something I cannot do without. I see and hear more clearly, feel more relaxed and calm, and I actually find my experiences slowing down. I'm more appreciativeof each day as I observe how things constantly change and dissolve. I've realized that everything is in a continual process of coming and going. I don't hold happiness or anger for a long time. It just comes and goes." page 149

"I realized that what really matters isn't where we are or what's going on around us, but what's in our hearts while it's happening.

I used to feel I could hide inside my practice, that I could simply sit and contmeplate the raging anger of a place like this, seeking inner peace through prayers of compassion. But now I believe love and compassion are things to extend to others." page 158

[Nikko · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is unbelievably engaging. Imprisoned as a teenager for armed robbery, then put on death row for a crime he did not commit, Jarvis' story is heartbreaking. This is raw, intense, but extremely engaging, impossible to put down, and ultimately hopeful. Despite all the odds, this extraordinary man has found a way to grow and develop through Buddhist practice in an incredible way.

This book could not be more timely.

Note: I actually listned to the audiobook, read by Dion Graham.

Note: I am associated with Shambhala Publications, but this is an objective review!

[Carah · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite books I have ever read. So interesting to hear stories and how he changed his life around. I would love to sit and talk with him for hours.

[John Stepper · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book offers a glimpse into a world & an individual I could never imagine on my own, and one I usually avoid thinking about. The topics are so raw and complicated and depressing and ...

I came across the book from reading Pema Chödrön’s “Practicing Peace”. She called it one of her favorites and recounted some of the stories from it. It’s a wonderful companion to Thich Nhat Hanh’s “be free where you are” (about his visit your a prison) as it provides the prisoners’ perspective.

Whatever you think of the author and of prisons in general, the book is a chance to practice empathy of a kind I don’t normally practice, and I’m grateful for that. It makes the inhuman human. It made my world bigger while showing me how much more practice I need.

[Nathan Teft · Rating 5 out of 5]

“After eighteen months Bosshog was released from the grip of San Quentin and from dependence on me for tobacco and Being Peace. Before he walked off the tier, he stood in front of my cell and together we recited what had become Boss's mantra— something he'd learned to say whenever he was about to blow his top. We always started off chanting in unison with the words
“Man, man," and then, "If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society will benefit from our peace’” (121).

[Teri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jarvis Masters has been on death row at San Quentin State prison for thirty years, for a crime he did not commit. This is a book of stories of his life there and how he became a compassionate peacemaker . His story is heartbreaking. How Jarvis is living his life, despite his circumstances, is truly amazing.

[Nathan Reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories in Masters' book are compelling and complex in a way that completely had me smiling at times and sadden with in moments of simple turning a page. It's hard to believe that someone who's life has been surrounded with hatred and violence can find peace and lend out compassion to his fellow inmates and correctional officers. Truly inspiring!

Free Jarvis Jay Masters

[Sidni · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this, the stories of Jarvis (parts of his time on death row was told in just mercy). He is an incredible writer and these short stories from his time on death row were very humanizing and even funny at times for such a hard topic. I will definitely be reading his other stories. Some of them were really powerful

[Nik Maack · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a difficult book to review. I feel guilty for giving it three stars. It's one of those books you read and you're pretty much obligated to give it a five star review. A man is on death row! He converted to Buddhism! His struggle and so on! Have some compassion! Plus there's a campaign to prove his innocence!

The book felt flat to me. Which feels like a terrible thing to say, but it did. If this was a book about a man who had found Christ, I doubt it would even be on my radar. Or anyone's radar, for that matter.

There are no details about his crime that got him on death row, and the book says that's because he's fighting the charges. It seems insane that the conspiracy to kill a prison guard could result in a death sentence -- but without the details of the case, who knows what happened? I may have to research the details elsewhere.

Without these details in the book, the text feels a little hollow. It's a little like having a book about a coffee shop, but we can't talk about coffee.

Perhaps I am jaded. I've read many books about prison. I've listened to the San Quentin podcast. I know some facts and details about Buddhism. So, bizarrely, for me, there isn't anything new in this book. Which is also a weird thing to say.

Some of the stories are interesting, funny, heartbreaking. But the characters are never fully fleshed out. I know the author is trying to protect people's identity and is disguising certain features. But the people end up feeling oddly interchangeable.

Is it me? Have I become so jaded? I do feel agony over the American prison system and the death penalty is the most disgusting human creation. But this book didn't really hit me the way it wanted to.

There are forwards and afterwards by Buddhist teachers. Those feel like they are there to give the book some weight that it's missing.

I'm sorry. Clearly it's me. I'm a jerk. I'll see myself out.

[Roni Blanche · Rating 5 out of 5]

A unique blend of prison poetry and prose, Jarvis Jay Masters captures his San Quentin experiences with laser focus and raw honesty. No pretense of making sense of the senselessness of prison life, Masters relates his journey from in-your-face disbeliever to it's-worth-a-try to steadfast Buddhist, walking the fine line between having his own beliefs and trying to use them for good and getting shanked for being less (justifiably) hate-filled and hard-ass than his prison mates. I came to know of Masters' story through David Sheff's "The Buddhist on Death Row." I thought that telling was in-depth and real and gave me the sense that I knew Jarvis. But reading "Finding Freedom" felt like actually crawling inside his skin and living his reality.

If you are looking for a light, happy read, this ain't it. But for anyone that has the courage to explore what prison life is really like and how Buddhism can change a person to the core, get this book.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not a memoir or retelling of Masters' experience in prison, but rather a series of vignettes that chronicles his growth and change in perspective based on his beliefs in Buddhism. There is great value in seeing how he cultivated traits of compassion, non-permanence, and equanimity in an environment that seems to discourage this.

[Socket Klatzker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jarvis J Masters inspired me period. His ability to be grounded and graceful on death row, maintain hope, continue to grow internally AND get a book written and published are commendable.

[Camille Solo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this author's narrative. He is such a talented writer. Each story was surprisingly just as enjoyable as the previous.

[Shannon Fields · Rating 4 out of 5]

A glimpse of humanity within the prison system

[gustavo]

read it in one sitting. great book and jarvis is such a kind person

[Rodrigo Pereira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. Excellent for developing compassion toward criminals and moving away from viewing them as the personification of evil.

[Khushbu Patel · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much to say but don’t know how to form words regarding this book. Such a powerful read about someone who literally change their life inside a prison cell. I felt like I was in the cell with him. Even though this review is not very lengthy here’s one of the many quotes this book has that really meant something to me

“If I was an executed there will be someone who believe I deserved it But those who want to try to make sense of it will see through my writing a human being who made mistakes Maybe my writing will at least help them see me as someone who felt, loved, and cared. Someone who wanted to know for himself who he was. My writing will hopefully show those people that they could easily have been me”

[Martha Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not the best book I’ve ever read.

I work in a maximum security prison and a pile of these books were stacked on one of the social worker’s desks. I get two 15 minute breaks and can’t bring in a cell phone or any other reading material etc so I picked this up and read it in 15 min intervals over a few days LOL.

Very little of the book discussed his discovery of Buddhism. I would have enjoyed more detail about that.

[Shelby Fazzolare · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jarvis Masters combines stories to create the troublesome depiction of life on death row, while being a practicing Buddhist. Each small story he describes within this book should be looked at with a deeper meaning, in which life lessons can be found within each one. I first read "The Buddhist on Death Row," which is a autobiography of Jarvis Masters, and immediately picked up this book written by himself. This book is truly breathtaking and one that I think everyone should read.

[Kira · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deserves a lot more praise and recognition, it was such a beautiful book and one I cannot fault. I loved every moment of this book, it made me feel grounded and very grateful. It has already become one of my new favourite books and definitely one I will remember forever. I look forward to re-reading this in the future!

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Writings of an inmate on death row in San Quentin prison. Jarvis has become a Buddhist and tries to practice the dharma in a most challenging of settings. As the years drag on, he constantly faces the uncertainty of death in a system designed to be difficult to get through. His short essays tell a story of life in prison that is best left on paper.

[Leila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jarvis' story is incredibly moving. The wisdom he achieves through his disciplined practice is truly extraordinary. Each passage raised more questions for me about his life story, his appeals process, etc., but the book doesn't really touch on these. I do wish there was a little more context for the reader but I also understand that that's not really the point

[Joan Schmitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting. It's at once enlightening and sad. I applaud Mr. Masters for looking inside for answers on how he came to be where he is. We all can benefit from his example. One can never make sense of life from looking outside. Thank you for this book. Keep on writing.

[Litbitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

essays, poems, and observations from a man on death row who found Buddhism; terribly human and compassionate, and an excellent example of the opportunities and difficulties of trying to live a life in which you do not contribute to the suffering of others

[Ommiolgi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good book about a Buddhist who converted on death row. Stories and anecdotes about living in San Quentin as a Buddhist. A truly fantastic and inspiring book that i would recommend to anyone who could get past the course language, a great read.

[Sara Halvorsen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was neither here nor there. Quick read.

[Cassell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A harsh story, told with incredible authenticity and vulnerability. What will happen now?

[Deann Doolittle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

[Sheri Lisker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A remarkable story by an enlightened being. If he can do it - find compassion for others on death row, not just for prisoners but for guards - it gives me hope we all can.