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Weep with Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation
Today, racial wounds from three hundred years of slavery and a history of Jim Crow laws continue to impact the church in America. Martin Luther King Jr. captured this reality when he “The most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday.” Equipped with the gospel, the evangelical church should be the catalyst for reconciliation, yet it continues to cultivate immense pain and division. Weep with Me by Mark Vroegop is a timely resource that presents lament as a bridge to racial reconciliation in the world today. In the Bible, lament is a prayer that leads to trust, which can be a starting point for the church to “weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). As Vroegop “Reconciliation in the church starts with tears and ends in trust.”
226 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 19, 2020
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881 people want to read
About the author
Mark Vroegop
7 books79 followersMark Vroegop (MDiv, Grand Rapids Theological Seminary) is the lead pastor of College Park Church in Indianapolis, Indiana. He is a conference speaker, a council member with the Gospel Coalition, a trustee of Cedarville University, and the author of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy. Mark blogs at markvroegop.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
August 11, 2020
Nobody will like everything in this book—it’s about race, after all—but I am grateful for this constructive contribution to an extremely fraught conversation. Vroegop has served us all and served us well.
Here were 20 of my favorite quotes: https://www.tgc.org/article/20-quotes...
Here were 20 of my favorite quotes: https://www.tgc.org/article/20-quotes...
July 17, 2020
Wow wow wow
This book was much needed. Such an important step for people who are resistant to massive societal change or skeptical about slipping into “liberal theology” etc etc
Nobody is asking you to be an activist right now...
CAN YOU JUST STOP AND HEAR THEIR PAIN?
This book was much needed. Such an important step for people who are resistant to massive societal change or skeptical about slipping into “liberal theology” etc etc
Nobody is asking you to be an activist right now...
CAN YOU JUST STOP AND HEAR THEIR PAIN?
July 13, 2020
Vroegop argues in this short book that lament is the gateway to racial reconciliation and making our churches look more like heaven now. He uses personal experiences from his own life and of the lives of others to talk about how lament has been used to heal the wounds of racism. In the current political climate this book may be needed now more than ever, especially in the church. My only complaint is that it’s not long enough! I’ll leave you with this, if Heaven is a place of diversity and unity, why can’t our churches be that now?
August 25, 2020
To my fellow minority Christians, I know there may be skepticism when approaching a book on racial reconciliation written by another white guy. Any hesitancy about this is understandable, especially if you are not familiar with the work of Mark Vroegop and College Park Church. But fear not, Vroegop handles this topic with great humility and pastoral care, knowing the touchiness and scars of racism in America and racial divide in God's church. Vroegop provides great guidance to the screaming question: What do we actually do in response to racism and divide in the church? Vroegop does this biblically, walking us through the practice of lament, as seen often throughout the Bible and especially in the Psalms. Walking both majority and minority Christians through lament, this book gives us the tools to truly empathize with those who are hurting, even if we don't understand the pain of our brothers and sisters and in this, we can "weep with those who weep" and open up a door for racial reconciliation. Additionally, the lament prayers by different pastors at the end of each chapter, and chapter questions, some of which guide us in actual lament practice and sharing with others, is one of the best parts of this book.
February 17, 2024
This book does a good job of talking about what lament is in worship. It actually inspired my plans for what my students will do for our school’s Black History Month assembly.
I don’t think it does a good job of addressing racism or prejudice. The author doesn’t seem to know the difference between ethnicity and nationality, for instance.
My main issue with the book is the author’s “main character energy” that keeps peaking through. It seems like he’s subtly bragging about being an “ally” or the only white person certain people of colour he knows can trust. It’s kind of cringeworthy despite his good intentions.
I don’t think it does a good job of addressing racism or prejudice. The author doesn’t seem to know the difference between ethnicity and nationality, for instance.
My main issue with the book is the author’s “main character energy” that keeps peaking through. It seems like he’s subtly bragging about being an “ally” or the only white person certain people of colour he knows can trust. It’s kind of cringeworthy despite his good intentions.
August 8, 2020
I am very grateful to have discovered this timely new gem, written from a humble and compassion pastor's heart, that speaks to a pressing (but often overlooked) issue in the American evangelical church. This book contains the biblical wisdom, insight and encouragement to move the church closer to the picture of racial harmony pictured in Revelation.
The issues are layered and thorny, and there's plenty of opportunity for majority-culture Christians like me to repent of indifference or worse, to grow in genuine empathy, and to better learn when and how to speak and when to listen. The example from the author's Indianapolis-area church offers practical insights and a hopeful outlook, even as the pastor repeatedly and humbly acknowledges the need for further personal and corporate growth in this matter.
I left the book with a more tender conscience, new eyes to read the psalms of lament through the lens of the experience facing so many African Americans in our culture today, a commitment to regularly pray over the need for racial healing in Christ's church, and a developing plan to more thoughtfully and caringly initiate relationships with minority brothers and sisters. There would be great benefit for many evangelicals to read this book and find hope, encouragement and a path forward to racial reconciliation through shared lament.
God, give me the graces of humility and courage to follow through, for the sake of your name.and your church. Amen.
The issues are layered and thorny, and there's plenty of opportunity for majority-culture Christians like me to repent of indifference or worse, to grow in genuine empathy, and to better learn when and how to speak and when to listen. The example from the author's Indianapolis-area church offers practical insights and a hopeful outlook, even as the pastor repeatedly and humbly acknowledges the need for further personal and corporate growth in this matter.
I left the book with a more tender conscience, new eyes to read the psalms of lament through the lens of the experience facing so many African Americans in our culture today, a commitment to regularly pray over the need for racial healing in Christ's church, and a developing plan to more thoughtfully and caringly initiate relationships with minority brothers and sisters. There would be great benefit for many evangelicals to read this book and find hope, encouragement and a path forward to racial reconciliation through shared lament.
God, give me the graces of humility and courage to follow through, for the sake of your name.and your church. Amen.
July 28, 2020
On June 4, North Central University hosted the funeral for George Floyd. NCU is an Assemblies of God school in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In the days that followed the funeral, my Facebook timeline was filled with Christian folk weighing in on whether this was a good idea. The vast majority thought it was, but a vocal few — all but one of them white — were angry about aspects of the school’s action.
While perusing the back-and-forth on Facebook, I received an out-of-the-blue call from a minister friend in the Church of God in Christ. COGIC is a historically black church and the nation’s largest Pentecostal denomination. My friend expressed incredible joy at NCU’s action, and he shared with me that other COGIC leaders also were happy at this unexpected action on NCU’s part.
The difference between the angry comments I read on Facebook and the joy in my friend’s phone call — anger and joy about the same event! — was (and is) jarring. Scripture enjoins believers, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). And yet, on June 4, the emotions of Christians I personally observed were out of sync.
In Weep with Me, Mark Vroegop shows “how lament opens a door for racial reconciliation.” A lament is “a prayer in pain that leads to trust.” It is a common form of prayer in the Bible, especially in the Psalms and Lamentations. It usually contains four elements: 1) turning to God, 2) complaining about one’s situation, 3) asking for relief, and 4) trusting in God for deliverance. Vroegop’s previous book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, discusses these four elements in greater detail.
Lament is largely absent from white Christian spirituality in America. It is the native tongue of black Christian spirituality, however, the essence of African American spirituals. “These songs of sorrow expressed the emotional trauma of slavery and segregation,” Vroegop writes. “They protested exile created by the sins of partiality and abuse.” Ironically, when white American Christians look for mournful songs to use in Good Friday services, for example, they often turn to spirituals such as “Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?”
So, how does lament open a door for racial reconciliation? To articulate the answer, Vroegop sketches out a path to reconciliation that consists of five movements.
First, love. “The church should be involved in racial reconciliation because of what we believe,” namely, that “Christ is all, and in all” (Colossians 3:11, ESV).
Second, listen. “Too often the tone of the conversation [about racial reconciliation] is marked by closed minds, hasty words, and angry attitudes.” Progress requires “a posture of listening.”
Third, lament. More on this in a moment, but for now, just keep in mind that lament “supplies a biblical voice that allows us to talk to God and one another about the pain we feel and see.”
Fourth, learn. “Our cultural backgrounds, understandings of history, and experiences create assumptions and blind spots. If we take the posture of learning from one another, we create a safe environment for asking questions and working through disagreements.”
Fifth, leverage. “The key is to understand that racial reconciliation requires action,” Vroegop concludes. “Love, listening, lamenting, and learning are designed to lead us here.”
So, again, how does lament open a door for racial reconciliation? It does so differently depending on whether a Christian belongs to his or her nation’s majority or one of its many minorities. In Part 2, Vroegop addresses America’s white majority; in Part 3, its black minority. (Though Vroegop draws on the history of America’s white-black divide, what he says could apply to white relations with other racial and ethnic minorities too.)
For majority Christians, lament engenders empathy, defined as “the ability or willingness to understand and care.” Empathy is the emotion behind Romans 12:15, which I quoted earlier, the ability to rejoice with or mourn with another. The incident I opened this review with is thus a failure of empathy. By contrast, “Weeping with those who weep emulates the heart of Jesus. It builds a bridge of grace over the chasm of division and injustice. It provides comfort to those who are hurting.”
Lament also offers majority Christians the language with which to speak up. “When it comes to racial injustice, the historical silence of most Christians has been deafening.” Lament both “acknowledges the brokenness of the world” and “refuses to remain silent.” A lament, merely by acknowledging that something is grievously wrong, breaks “the stronghold of the status quo.”
Finally, lament offers majority Christians the language of repentance and remorse. “Repentance is the change of mind, heart, and will that involves confession of specific sin and a change in our affections,” Vroegop writes. “Remorse is the heartfelt response when the weight of sin is understood.” We repent of our own sins. We express remorse for the sins of history that have shaped our present.
For minority Christians, lament offers the language of protest, triumph and faith. “Lament is an act of protest as the lamenter is allowed to express indignation and even outrage about the experience of suffering,” writes Soong-Chan Rah. In the Bible, such complaints were often found on the lips of exiles. “By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept” (Psalm 137:1, ESV). The Bible licenses the negative emotions associated with unjust suffering.
And yet, lament also gives minority Christians a language of triumph, as they acknowledge God’s power to redeem them out of their pain. Using Psalm 94, Vroegop draws three lessons about the power of lament. First, lament “validates the concern with injustice.” Second, it “shows us an appeal made not only because of personal wrongs but also because the divinely given system of justice was not working. And third, it “helps us see what to do with our frustrations and deep concern,” namely, turning to God and foreswearing vengeance.
Finally, lament gives minority Christians a language of hope about four things in particular: “God will help you,” “hardship can be transformative,” “people can change,” and “God will make it right.” Black Christians’ experience of suffering has often give them reservoirs of hope unavailable to those who live in comparative ease.
Weep with Me doesn’t claim to be the be-all, end-all of racial reconciliation. Much more has to be done than simply lamenting the current state of race relations in America, even among American Christians. And yet, the more I ponder the disparate responses to George Floyd’s funeral I mentioned at the top of this review, the more I wonder whether lament is a crucial missing step in contemporary reconciliation efforts.
Perhaps black and white Christians in America cannot move in step until our hearts are in sync, mourning together … and rejoicing too.
Book Reviewed
Mark Vroegop, Weep with Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com with permission.
While perusing the back-and-forth on Facebook, I received an out-of-the-blue call from a minister friend in the Church of God in Christ. COGIC is a historically black church and the nation’s largest Pentecostal denomination. My friend expressed incredible joy at NCU’s action, and he shared with me that other COGIC leaders also were happy at this unexpected action on NCU’s part.
The difference between the angry comments I read on Facebook and the joy in my friend’s phone call — anger and joy about the same event! — was (and is) jarring. Scripture enjoins believers, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). And yet, on June 4, the emotions of Christians I personally observed were out of sync.
In Weep with Me, Mark Vroegop shows “how lament opens a door for racial reconciliation.” A lament is “a prayer in pain that leads to trust.” It is a common form of prayer in the Bible, especially in the Psalms and Lamentations. It usually contains four elements: 1) turning to God, 2) complaining about one’s situation, 3) asking for relief, and 4) trusting in God for deliverance. Vroegop’s previous book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, discusses these four elements in greater detail.
Lament is largely absent from white Christian spirituality in America. It is the native tongue of black Christian spirituality, however, the essence of African American spirituals. “These songs of sorrow expressed the emotional trauma of slavery and segregation,” Vroegop writes. “They protested exile created by the sins of partiality and abuse.” Ironically, when white American Christians look for mournful songs to use in Good Friday services, for example, they often turn to spirituals such as “Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?”
So, how does lament open a door for racial reconciliation? To articulate the answer, Vroegop sketches out a path to reconciliation that consists of five movements.
First, love. “The church should be involved in racial reconciliation because of what we believe,” namely, that “Christ is all, and in all” (Colossians 3:11, ESV).
Second, listen. “Too often the tone of the conversation [about racial reconciliation] is marked by closed minds, hasty words, and angry attitudes.” Progress requires “a posture of listening.”
Third, lament. More on this in a moment, but for now, just keep in mind that lament “supplies a biblical voice that allows us to talk to God and one another about the pain we feel and see.”
Fourth, learn. “Our cultural backgrounds, understandings of history, and experiences create assumptions and blind spots. If we take the posture of learning from one another, we create a safe environment for asking questions and working through disagreements.”
Fifth, leverage. “The key is to understand that racial reconciliation requires action,” Vroegop concludes. “Love, listening, lamenting, and learning are designed to lead us here.”
So, again, how does lament open a door for racial reconciliation? It does so differently depending on whether a Christian belongs to his or her nation’s majority or one of its many minorities. In Part 2, Vroegop addresses America’s white majority; in Part 3, its black minority. (Though Vroegop draws on the history of America’s white-black divide, what he says could apply to white relations with other racial and ethnic minorities too.)
For majority Christians, lament engenders empathy, defined as “the ability or willingness to understand and care.” Empathy is the emotion behind Romans 12:15, which I quoted earlier, the ability to rejoice with or mourn with another. The incident I opened this review with is thus a failure of empathy. By contrast, “Weeping with those who weep emulates the heart of Jesus. It builds a bridge of grace over the chasm of division and injustice. It provides comfort to those who are hurting.”
Lament also offers majority Christians the language with which to speak up. “When it comes to racial injustice, the historical silence of most Christians has been deafening.” Lament both “acknowledges the brokenness of the world” and “refuses to remain silent.” A lament, merely by acknowledging that something is grievously wrong, breaks “the stronghold of the status quo.”
Finally, lament offers majority Christians the language of repentance and remorse. “Repentance is the change of mind, heart, and will that involves confession of specific sin and a change in our affections,” Vroegop writes. “Remorse is the heartfelt response when the weight of sin is understood.” We repent of our own sins. We express remorse for the sins of history that have shaped our present.
For minority Christians, lament offers the language of protest, triumph and faith. “Lament is an act of protest as the lamenter is allowed to express indignation and even outrage about the experience of suffering,” writes Soong-Chan Rah. In the Bible, such complaints were often found on the lips of exiles. “By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept” (Psalm 137:1, ESV). The Bible licenses the negative emotions associated with unjust suffering.
And yet, lament also gives minority Christians a language of triumph, as they acknowledge God’s power to redeem them out of their pain. Using Psalm 94, Vroegop draws three lessons about the power of lament. First, lament “validates the concern with injustice.” Second, it “shows us an appeal made not only because of personal wrongs but also because the divinely given system of justice was not working. And third, it “helps us see what to do with our frustrations and deep concern,” namely, turning to God and foreswearing vengeance.
Finally, lament gives minority Christians a language of hope about four things in particular: “God will help you,” “hardship can be transformative,” “people can change,” and “God will make it right.” Black Christians’ experience of suffering has often give them reservoirs of hope unavailable to those who live in comparative ease.
Weep with Me doesn’t claim to be the be-all, end-all of racial reconciliation. Much more has to be done than simply lamenting the current state of race relations in America, even among American Christians. And yet, the more I ponder the disparate responses to George Floyd’s funeral I mentioned at the top of this review, the more I wonder whether lament is a crucial missing step in contemporary reconciliation efforts.
Perhaps black and white Christians in America cannot move in step until our hearts are in sync, mourning together … and rejoicing too.
Book Reviewed
Mark Vroegop, Weep with Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com with permission.
December 29, 2020
"The Bible tells us to weep with those who weep. It doesn't tell us to judge whether they should be weeping." - H.B. Charles Jr. (from chapter 4)
Vroegop offers keys for the church to open the door to racial reconciliation using lament. As someone who is part of the "racial majority" (Vroegop's term), lament allows us to lead with empathy, encourages us speak when tempted to be silent and express repentance when necessary. I'm honestly overwhelmed how to begin reviewing this book except to beg and plead with you to read it. As Christian, I'm searching for answers to how the church can address the glaring problem of race issues in our country and especially our churches. Vroegop's insights, transparency and candor about his own experiences are not only rooted in Scripture, but offer a good and true word for the church today.
After reading so much on race and especially as it relates to the church, this was the first book that left me not only hopeful but with a clear path forward for the church. Most important book I've read this year.
Vroegop offers keys for the church to open the door to racial reconciliation using lament. As someone who is part of the "racial majority" (Vroegop's term), lament allows us to lead with empathy, encourages us speak when tempted to be silent and express repentance when necessary. I'm honestly overwhelmed how to begin reviewing this book except to beg and plead with you to read it. As Christian, I'm searching for answers to how the church can address the glaring problem of race issues in our country and especially our churches. Vroegop's insights, transparency and candor about his own experiences are not only rooted in Scripture, but offer a good and true word for the church today.
After reading so much on race and especially as it relates to the church, this was the first book that left me not only hopeful but with a clear path forward for the church. Most important book I've read this year.
May 10, 2021
This is a beautiful, powerful book on a difficult topic. A must read for pastors
March 6, 2021
The best Christian books teach me something about my faith and something about God. This one does both, and the use of lament as a framework for approaching issues of race within the church is a powerful and helpful motif with strong biblical structure. The only reason it doesn’t have 5 stars is because it’s meant to be read in community, an experience I missed out on. Read it.
February 17, 2021
I would give this book 10 out of 5 stars if I could. Vroegop writes with great humility as he addresses and models the overlooked role of lament as we seek racial reconciliation. Cannot recommend this book enough.
August 24, 2020
I am grieved, grieved by the deaths, unrest, and hatred running rampant across our world. Grief is not something I feel easily nor express well, yet it is a frequent idiom in the Bible. Lament is a word not commonly used by Evangelical Christians, yet the Psalms and the Prophets—not to mention Lamentations—are filled with the tears of the saints weeping over this sinful and broken world. I was pleased to receive a copy of Mark Vroegop’s Weep with Me as part of the Crossway Blog Review program because I need to learn how to lament better. I know many men and women in my life who would be greatly served by feeling free and equipped to lament to their God concerning their circumstances. I am also broken by the pain I hear in conservations and read about on social media and in blogs from my brothers and sisters who have been and are currently affected by racism in any of a dozen forms. I grieve that Jesus’ Church in North America, Australia, and across the world painfully reflects the world’s own struggles with identity and is not always the city shining on a hill that it is supposed to be, that the truth that Jesus has torn down the dividing wall of hostility separating people of all ethnicities and skin colours is not reflected in the way we love one another (Eph 2:14-21; cf. Gal 3:23-29; 1 Cor 12:13; Col 3:5-11). I have not done well in this regard; I can think of countless times where my insensitive words around issues of race have caused pain in brothers and sisters. I want to do better, and Weep with Me offers a compelling perspective on one way we can do so.
In Weep with Me, Mark Vroegop draws on his own experience as a pastor of a church seeking to live out racial and ethnic unity and on his study of laments in Scripture, (cf. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Recovering the Grace of Lament) arguing that lament gives us a grammar to discuss issues of racism and to grow in our fellowship with believers of other ethnicities. He does not claim that lament is the solution to racism in the Church but that it is a way that we can build community and empathy that will lead to other fruitful paths for racial reconciliation. In Part 1, Vroegop unpacks the concept of lament and draws parallels between Biblical laments and African-American Spirituals, arguing that lament gives us a language to bridge the gap of experience between those of in majority cultures and those from minority cultures. In Part 2, he addresses those of us from a majority culture, showing how we can use the language of lament to communicate with and empathize with our brothers and sisters from minority cultures. In Part 3, he then addresses those from minority cultures, showing that lament can be freeing for those who are suffering and offers a way to communicate with hope to Christians in the majority culture.
I do not agree with everything Vroegop says in the book, and some of the sources he cites are troubling, (he explicitly writes that he has read broadly and cited sources that he by no means endorses) yet that is part of his point: lament gives us a language to move past disagreement and debate towards empathy. We do not need to agree with every cause and every possible solution to acknowledge that our brother and sisters in Canada, the United States, and Australia wrestle with hurt and pain associated with being part of a minority culture. Lament, Vroegop argues, gives us the opportunity to empathize with that pain and to show that we desire to walk with, learn from, and be transformed as walk with one another.
Vroegop identifies a four-fold pattern of lamentation:
Turn—choosing to talk to God about our pain
Complain—candidly praying about the struggles, questions, and disappointments
Ask—boldly calling upon God to be true to his promises
Trust—reaffirming what we believe about God (150, cf. 38-40)
The Book of Lamentations is an obvious example of a lament, but others include the brutal lament in Job 3, and several psalms, such as Psalm 22 (quoted by Jesus on the Cross), Psalm 42, Psalm 88, etc. I commend Weep with Me not as a perfect resource but as one that points us back to the Word and a facet of its teaching often neglected in our day. We need to be a people who follow the words of our Lord through His apostle Paul, we must “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight” (Rom 12:15). In conclusion, I offer my own lament on the issue of racial reconciliation:
Father, in your mercy, hear my prayer. Forgive me for the times that I have aggravated the sufferings of my brothers and my sisters with insensitive and contentious words uttered when I ought to have been slow to speak, quick to listen, and to have wept with those who wept. Forgive me for all the times when my silence has magnified the pain of generations of silence towards the suffering and mistreatment of those despised and downtrodden in our churches and culture.
I am grieved that my fellow Christians for whom you have died need to encourage one another to love the way they have been made because they are told daily, in a myriad of ways, they are not the way they ought to be. I am grieved that your people fear those you have appointed to uphold righteousness and peace in society and that even a trip to the supermarket may be an opportunity for fear, even of death. I hate that we have to affirm what ought to be obvious to all, that each and every black life, those in the womb and those who have died unjustly, matter dearly to you and ought to be treated with the respect and dignity of those who bear your precious image. I hate the division and pain of racism in our past and the present, both in our cultures but, more significantly, in your Church. Your Church ought to be a beacon of light amid the darkness, where men and women of all ethnicities and ages feel welcome and safe. Break my heart more every day over the reality that this often not the case.
This world needs you, Jesus, a king who rules with justice and righteousness. A king who does not play favourites but upholds perfect justice and showers mercy and kindness upon the widow, the orphan, the oppressed and mistreated. Come Lord Jesus come, realize your perfect justice here and now. As we wait upon your return, give your Church wisdom and humility to live out the unity to which you have called us. Help us be a people who weep with one another, who feel the brokenness and sin of this world and refuse to turn a blind eye to the suffering of our sisters and brothers. May your Church be a beacon of hope in this dying world.
I know you will return one day soon, and on that day, we will see your perfect justice. Your steadfast love and sure kindness will be demonstrated. I trust now that you are faithful to your promises; blessed be the name of the Lord, now and forevermore.
Amen
In Weep with Me, Mark Vroegop draws on his own experience as a pastor of a church seeking to live out racial and ethnic unity and on his study of laments in Scripture, (cf. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Recovering the Grace of Lament) arguing that lament gives us a grammar to discuss issues of racism and to grow in our fellowship with believers of other ethnicities. He does not claim that lament is the solution to racism in the Church but that it is a way that we can build community and empathy that will lead to other fruitful paths for racial reconciliation. In Part 1, Vroegop unpacks the concept of lament and draws parallels between Biblical laments and African-American Spirituals, arguing that lament gives us a language to bridge the gap of experience between those of in majority cultures and those from minority cultures. In Part 2, he addresses those of us from a majority culture, showing how we can use the language of lament to communicate with and empathize with our brothers and sisters from minority cultures. In Part 3, he then addresses those from minority cultures, showing that lament can be freeing for those who are suffering and offers a way to communicate with hope to Christians in the majority culture.
I do not agree with everything Vroegop says in the book, and some of the sources he cites are troubling, (he explicitly writes that he has read broadly and cited sources that he by no means endorses) yet that is part of his point: lament gives us a language to move past disagreement and debate towards empathy. We do not need to agree with every cause and every possible solution to acknowledge that our brother and sisters in Canada, the United States, and Australia wrestle with hurt and pain associated with being part of a minority culture. Lament, Vroegop argues, gives us the opportunity to empathize with that pain and to show that we desire to walk with, learn from, and be transformed as walk with one another.
Vroegop identifies a four-fold pattern of lamentation:
Turn—choosing to talk to God about our pain
Complain—candidly praying about the struggles, questions, and disappointments
Ask—boldly calling upon God to be true to his promises
Trust—reaffirming what we believe about God (150, cf. 38-40)
The Book of Lamentations is an obvious example of a lament, but others include the brutal lament in Job 3, and several psalms, such as Psalm 22 (quoted by Jesus on the Cross), Psalm 42, Psalm 88, etc. I commend Weep with Me not as a perfect resource but as one that points us back to the Word and a facet of its teaching often neglected in our day. We need to be a people who follow the words of our Lord through His apostle Paul, we must “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight” (Rom 12:15). In conclusion, I offer my own lament on the issue of racial reconciliation:
Father, in your mercy, hear my prayer. Forgive me for the times that I have aggravated the sufferings of my brothers and my sisters with insensitive and contentious words uttered when I ought to have been slow to speak, quick to listen, and to have wept with those who wept. Forgive me for all the times when my silence has magnified the pain of generations of silence towards the suffering and mistreatment of those despised and downtrodden in our churches and culture.
I am grieved that my fellow Christians for whom you have died need to encourage one another to love the way they have been made because they are told daily, in a myriad of ways, they are not the way they ought to be. I am grieved that your people fear those you have appointed to uphold righteousness and peace in society and that even a trip to the supermarket may be an opportunity for fear, even of death. I hate that we have to affirm what ought to be obvious to all, that each and every black life, those in the womb and those who have died unjustly, matter dearly to you and ought to be treated with the respect and dignity of those who bear your precious image. I hate the division and pain of racism in our past and the present, both in our cultures but, more significantly, in your Church. Your Church ought to be a beacon of light amid the darkness, where men and women of all ethnicities and ages feel welcome and safe. Break my heart more every day over the reality that this often not the case.
This world needs you, Jesus, a king who rules with justice and righteousness. A king who does not play favourites but upholds perfect justice and showers mercy and kindness upon the widow, the orphan, the oppressed and mistreated. Come Lord Jesus come, realize your perfect justice here and now. As we wait upon your return, give your Church wisdom and humility to live out the unity to which you have called us. Help us be a people who weep with one another, who feel the brokenness and sin of this world and refuse to turn a blind eye to the suffering of our sisters and brothers. May your Church be a beacon of hope in this dying world.
I know you will return one day soon, and on that day, we will see your perfect justice. Your steadfast love and sure kindness will be demonstrated. I trust now that you are faithful to your promises; blessed be the name of the Lord, now and forevermore.
Amen
July 7, 2020
In Weep with Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation, white pastor Mark Vroegop shares what he has learned from his church about how to have conversations across lines of difference without suspicion or hostility. Even though he repeatedly reinforces that lamenting together is only a first step, and not where the journey towards justice should end, he explains that when Christians of different races are able to express corporate prayers of lament, brothers and sisters in Christ have new windows into each other's hearts and can better understand and feel the different shades of pain and confusion that people are walking through. Vroegop has previously written a general book about lament, and here, he specifically applies the concept to race. He explains what biblical lament looks like with reference to the psalms, and shares personal stories about how these heartfelt prayers can break down barriers.
The Power of Lament
He writes about a Civil Rights vision trip that his church took, expressing that despite all the tension and nervousness that members of both the majority and minority races felt, they were able to process their different responses through prayers of lament and found that this experience knit them together into closer relationships. Vroegop shares examples of some of these laments, and at the end of each chapter, he also shares a lament prayer written by another Christian leader. These prayers convey perspectives from both men and women of different races, and add to the texture of this book while also supporting its message. He also writes about the power of African-American spirituals as examples of lament.
Vroegop provides an encouraging picture of how Christians can engage with one another in brotherly love, express their different forms of grief or repentance, and begin to work together to seek justice. He writes several chapters directly to fellow white people, and I found his chapter on the differences between repentance and remorse particularly clear and helpful, since he made it clear that people do not have to "repent" for ancestral sins that they have never committed, but should and must express remorse over them, instead of being defensive. In another section, he writes about how white people can identify and overcome the different roadblocks that keep them from engaging about race, and he addresses this in a way that respects the nuance and variance of different people's backgrounds and experiences, instead of judging everyone's motives or assuming that everyone is the same.
Speaking Out Despite Hurt
He also writes chapters that are specifically addressed to minorities. This book primary focuses on white and black reconciliation, since that is where his pastoral experience lies, but he also acknowledges the experiences of other racial minorities and the challenges that they face within America and the racially and culturally white church. He writes about how, in most cases, minority church members are already lamenting, but should continue to "honestly express pain and loving protest the brokenness in the world." He encourages them to not give up, despite their wounds and frustrations, and grounds this in a biblical perspective on God's love and justice for the oppressed. He also shares stories about minority members in his church who have made a difference through faithfully speaking out, despite the hurt and dismissal that they sometimes experienced.
Although Vroegop emphasizes that empathy and lament are only first steps towards a longer, more complex journey, he provides a powerful picture of how Christians can grow in understanding and love by being vulnerable and honest in corporate prayer. He encourages both majority and minority race believers to pray for justice, weep with those who weep, and listen in ways that lead to growth and change, rather than engaging with others out of a posture of defensiveness and anger. Although this perspective might seem useless to someone outside of the church, Vroegop is confident from Scripture and experiences within his own church that lament and Christlike love can open the door to deep renewal and change.
Conclusion
This book is great for people who are just beginning to think and talk about race, and it is also helpful for those who have been wrestling with these issues long-term. Vroegop writes in an accessible and loving way, and unlike many other authors, he does not require a reader to swallow his entire political philosophy in order to engage with his work. Of course, issues of public policy are important, but Vroegop starts with the heart of the matter, helping people adopt habits of empathy, lament, and humble listening before they try to work through their disagreements about what holistic justice should look like in our political, economic, and social systems. This is a great book for people of different races who want to think through the power of lament to help bring understanding and healing, and Vroegop's approach does nothing to get in the way of that process.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
The Power of Lament
He writes about a Civil Rights vision trip that his church took, expressing that despite all the tension and nervousness that members of both the majority and minority races felt, they were able to process their different responses through prayers of lament and found that this experience knit them together into closer relationships. Vroegop shares examples of some of these laments, and at the end of each chapter, he also shares a lament prayer written by another Christian leader. These prayers convey perspectives from both men and women of different races, and add to the texture of this book while also supporting its message. He also writes about the power of African-American spirituals as examples of lament.
Vroegop provides an encouraging picture of how Christians can engage with one another in brotherly love, express their different forms of grief or repentance, and begin to work together to seek justice. He writes several chapters directly to fellow white people, and I found his chapter on the differences between repentance and remorse particularly clear and helpful, since he made it clear that people do not have to "repent" for ancestral sins that they have never committed, but should and must express remorse over them, instead of being defensive. In another section, he writes about how white people can identify and overcome the different roadblocks that keep them from engaging about race, and he addresses this in a way that respects the nuance and variance of different people's backgrounds and experiences, instead of judging everyone's motives or assuming that everyone is the same.
Speaking Out Despite Hurt
He also writes chapters that are specifically addressed to minorities. This book primary focuses on white and black reconciliation, since that is where his pastoral experience lies, but he also acknowledges the experiences of other racial minorities and the challenges that they face within America and the racially and culturally white church. He writes about how, in most cases, minority church members are already lamenting, but should continue to "honestly express pain and loving protest the brokenness in the world." He encourages them to not give up, despite their wounds and frustrations, and grounds this in a biblical perspective on God's love and justice for the oppressed. He also shares stories about minority members in his church who have made a difference through faithfully speaking out, despite the hurt and dismissal that they sometimes experienced.
Although Vroegop emphasizes that empathy and lament are only first steps towards a longer, more complex journey, he provides a powerful picture of how Christians can grow in understanding and love by being vulnerable and honest in corporate prayer. He encourages both majority and minority race believers to pray for justice, weep with those who weep, and listen in ways that lead to growth and change, rather than engaging with others out of a posture of defensiveness and anger. Although this perspective might seem useless to someone outside of the church, Vroegop is confident from Scripture and experiences within his own church that lament and Christlike love can open the door to deep renewal and change.
Conclusion
This book is great for people who are just beginning to think and talk about race, and it is also helpful for those who have been wrestling with these issues long-term. Vroegop writes in an accessible and loving way, and unlike many other authors, he does not require a reader to swallow his entire political philosophy in order to engage with his work. Of course, issues of public policy are important, but Vroegop starts with the heart of the matter, helping people adopt habits of empathy, lament, and humble listening before they try to work through their disagreements about what holistic justice should look like in our political, economic, and social systems. This is a great book for people of different races who want to think through the power of lament to help bring understanding and healing, and Vroegop's approach does nothing to get in the way of that process.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
July 10, 2020
In the forward of this fine book, Thabiti Anyabwile asks a question that I, too, have asked as I have tried to address the need for racial reconciliation in our country: “How do we talk about these things?” How do we talk about racial justice in our country without losing friends and dividing us even further? I have struggled with how to talk about this without saying the wrong thing, or causing more division in our already divided world. And when I do talk about it, I have struggled with how to keep the conversation going. Tell someone that “black lives matter,” for example, and you very well might get the quick and decisive response, “all lives matter!” Where do you go from there? I think of these as cul-de-sac conversations, because they just seem to go around and around without getting anywhere. We need a language, Anyabwile concludes in his forward, that we can use “to create empathy, and turn us together toward God in faith.”
The premise of this book is that lament offers just such a language - a language rooted in scripture that can open a door to these needed conversations. Vroegop, who authored an earlier book on lament, “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament,” makes a compelling case for lament serving as a way to engage in conversation around racial reconciliation that does not end up going in circles. Racial reconciliation, he writes, ultimately requires action, but lament opens a door that can lead us there.
What does Vroegop mean by lament? He describes lament as "a prayer in pain that leads to trust." He offers four steps to a traditional prayer of lament:
1. Turn - choosing to talk to God about our pain
2. Complain - candidly praying about the struggles, questions, and disappointments
3. Ask - boldly calling upon God to be true to his promises
4. Trust- reaffirming what we believe about God
Vroegop takes the reader through different psalms (and African American spirituals) to show how this process works and also features a prayer of lament at the end of every chapter. I really appreciated these lament prayers, offered by a great cloud of witnesses, which helped me to listen prayerfully to my minority brothers and sisters as they share their honest prayers of lament.
As important as lament is, Vroegop suggests that it is just one step in the fivefold path of racial reconciliation. Here are his five steps:
1. Love - Christians start with love because Jesus has commanded us to love one another.
2. Listen - In particular, to listen with empathy, seeking to better understand how another person feels, and to do so without judgment. “The Bible calls us to weep with those who weep; it doesn’t tell us to judge whether they should be weeping.” (H.B. Charles Jr.)
3. Lament - The subject of this book.
4. Learn - We make a commitment to learn from one another, and especially for white Christians like me (which he describes as the majority culture), to learn more about the history of racism in our country and to learn from the experience of my minority brothers and sisters.
5. Leverage - The final step involves action and change. Racial reconciliation ultimately requires action, but the previous steps are designed to lead us to this point.
The final step, to take action, is important, and one such action is simply to speak up. I must confess that I have not always spoken up about the need for racial reconciliation. I have been afraid of saying the wrong thing or creating more conflict in our church. Or I just didn’t want to go through the trouble of doing so. But silence, Vroegop reminds us, communicates a message to our minority brothers and sisters, and it is not the message that I want to communicate. But what do we do? "Lament,” Vroegop writes, "is the biblical way to express sorrow when we don't know what to say." Lament is a way to acknowledge the hurt our minority brothers and sisters feel even when we are not sure what else to say or to do. It "ends our silence and opens a door for reconciliation."
In the conclusion, Vroegop writes: "As I've lamented the history of racism, the complicity of the church, the division between believers, and the consequences of injustice for minority brothers and sisters, it birthed a compelling desire to advocate for racial harmony." This book has been a helpful step for me on my journey to advocating for racial reconciliation in our world, and I think that it can be for others, too.
I received a complimentary copy of this book through the Crossway Blog Review Program to facilitate my honest review of this book.
The premise of this book is that lament offers just such a language - a language rooted in scripture that can open a door to these needed conversations. Vroegop, who authored an earlier book on lament, “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament,” makes a compelling case for lament serving as a way to engage in conversation around racial reconciliation that does not end up going in circles. Racial reconciliation, he writes, ultimately requires action, but lament opens a door that can lead us there.
What does Vroegop mean by lament? He describes lament as "a prayer in pain that leads to trust." He offers four steps to a traditional prayer of lament:
1. Turn - choosing to talk to God about our pain
2. Complain - candidly praying about the struggles, questions, and disappointments
3. Ask - boldly calling upon God to be true to his promises
4. Trust- reaffirming what we believe about God
Vroegop takes the reader through different psalms (and African American spirituals) to show how this process works and also features a prayer of lament at the end of every chapter. I really appreciated these lament prayers, offered by a great cloud of witnesses, which helped me to listen prayerfully to my minority brothers and sisters as they share their honest prayers of lament.
As important as lament is, Vroegop suggests that it is just one step in the fivefold path of racial reconciliation. Here are his five steps:
1. Love - Christians start with love because Jesus has commanded us to love one another.
2. Listen - In particular, to listen with empathy, seeking to better understand how another person feels, and to do so without judgment. “The Bible calls us to weep with those who weep; it doesn’t tell us to judge whether they should be weeping.” (H.B. Charles Jr.)
3. Lament - The subject of this book.
4. Learn - We make a commitment to learn from one another, and especially for white Christians like me (which he describes as the majority culture), to learn more about the history of racism in our country and to learn from the experience of my minority brothers and sisters.
5. Leverage - The final step involves action and change. Racial reconciliation ultimately requires action, but the previous steps are designed to lead us to this point.
The final step, to take action, is important, and one such action is simply to speak up. I must confess that I have not always spoken up about the need for racial reconciliation. I have been afraid of saying the wrong thing or creating more conflict in our church. Or I just didn’t want to go through the trouble of doing so. But silence, Vroegop reminds us, communicates a message to our minority brothers and sisters, and it is not the message that I want to communicate. But what do we do? "Lament,” Vroegop writes, "is the biblical way to express sorrow when we don't know what to say." Lament is a way to acknowledge the hurt our minority brothers and sisters feel even when we are not sure what else to say or to do. It "ends our silence and opens a door for reconciliation."
In the conclusion, Vroegop writes: "As I've lamented the history of racism, the complicity of the church, the division between believers, and the consequences of injustice for minority brothers and sisters, it birthed a compelling desire to advocate for racial harmony." This book has been a helpful step for me on my journey to advocating for racial reconciliation in our world, and I think that it can be for others, too.
I received a complimentary copy of this book through the Crossway Blog Review Program to facilitate my honest review of this book.
March 9, 2022
It's really important to me that all the well meaning majority Christians who read this book understand that Vroegop is constantly prompting you to seek emotional labor from minority Christians, and he makes no comment / gives no guidance on how to do that well.
Please, read this book. Please, work through the questions listed. Please *do not* randomly dial up your minority Christian friends and info / trauma dump on them about what you are working through / reflecting on / thinking about.
Ask first if they have the capacity / are willing / feel comfortable and *do not* pressure them into making space for you. If they say no accept that with humility and move on.
With that being said,
This is an excellent resource for folks wanting to take steps toward racial reconciliation. Vroegop's understanding of racism, race relations, and theology make him a solid source of wisdom in this arena. I particularly enjoyed how action-oriented this book is, and the discussion questions after each chapter are a great launching point for some really powerful conversations (when and if handled appropriately.) His frank discussion of majority Christians attitudes and historical tendencies felt very on point for me, and he appeals us toward better with sound Biblical principals. As with Deep Clouds, Dark Mercies, the call toward lamenting is powerful & is a lost spiritual practice I hope more of us return to.
Part three is directed toward minority Christians & is the part I was most concerned about. While I can't say if it's useful guidance for minority Christians, I will give one more caution to my fellow majority folks; do not use this book or Vroegop's hopes for minority Christians to demonize, pressure, manipulate, or cajole minority Christians in your churches or spheres. If they have decided that a space isn't safe/worth their continued suffering accept that with humility, too. I strongly agree with Voegrop's theology so far as no heart/situation is beyond God's redeeming power, but I think as often as the right call is to stay and endure, it is to leave; both are powerful testimonies that can be the catalyst for change, and while it's not the scope of the book, I do wish Vroegop explored that a little more.
Please, read this book. Please, work through the questions listed. Please *do not* randomly dial up your minority Christian friends and info / trauma dump on them about what you are working through / reflecting on / thinking about.
Ask first if they have the capacity / are willing / feel comfortable and *do not* pressure them into making space for you. If they say no accept that with humility and move on.
With that being said,
This is an excellent resource for folks wanting to take steps toward racial reconciliation. Vroegop's understanding of racism, race relations, and theology make him a solid source of wisdom in this arena. I particularly enjoyed how action-oriented this book is, and the discussion questions after each chapter are a great launching point for some really powerful conversations (when and if handled appropriately.) His frank discussion of majority Christians attitudes and historical tendencies felt very on point for me, and he appeals us toward better with sound Biblical principals. As with Deep Clouds, Dark Mercies, the call toward lamenting is powerful & is a lost spiritual practice I hope more of us return to.
Part three is directed toward minority Christians & is the part I was most concerned about. While I can't say if it's useful guidance for minority Christians, I will give one more caution to my fellow majority folks; do not use this book or Vroegop's hopes for minority Christians to demonize, pressure, manipulate, or cajole minority Christians in your churches or spheres. If they have decided that a space isn't safe/worth their continued suffering accept that with humility, too. I strongly agree with Voegrop's theology so far as no heart/situation is beyond God's redeeming power, but I think as often as the right call is to stay and endure, it is to leave; both are powerful testimonies that can be the catalyst for change, and while it's not the scope of the book, I do wish Vroegop explored that a little more.
March 1, 2023
The subject of lament is very important and Vroegop helpfully shows how it can play a particularly useful part in moving toward racial reconciliation in the church.
“Simply stated, a lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. Laments are more than merely the expression of sorrow. The goal of a lament is to recommit oneself to hoping in God, believing his promises, and a godly response to pain, suffering, and injustice.
Lament is the historic biblical prayer language of Christians in pain. It's the voice of God's people while living in a broken world. Laments acknowledge the reality of pain while trusting in God's promises.
Over a third of the Psalms are laments.”
“Let's take this a step further. Consider what it would look like if white brothers and sisters prioritized lamenting for minority Christians.
What if lament prayers expressed our solidarity even when we don't fully understand? Imagine pastoral prayers or a brief lament on social media designed to communicate that we are weeping with those who weep. What if we led with lament even if we are not sure why some are weeping or even if they should be weeping? There's something attractive here. Again, Jason Meyer is helpful: ‘Do you see the beauty in the unity of a multiethnic church mourning together? Black inner-city mothers who fear their children may not make it home at night should be able to weep on the shoulders of those who don't look like them--those who join their tears instead of judge them.’”
“Simply stated, a lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. Laments are more than merely the expression of sorrow. The goal of a lament is to recommit oneself to hoping in God, believing his promises, and a godly response to pain, suffering, and injustice.
Lament is the historic biblical prayer language of Christians in pain. It's the voice of God's people while living in a broken world. Laments acknowledge the reality of pain while trusting in God's promises.
Over a third of the Psalms are laments.”
“Let's take this a step further. Consider what it would look like if white brothers and sisters prioritized lamenting for minority Christians.
What if lament prayers expressed our solidarity even when we don't fully understand? Imagine pastoral prayers or a brief lament on social media designed to communicate that we are weeping with those who weep. What if we led with lament even if we are not sure why some are weeping or even if they should be weeping? There's something attractive here. Again, Jason Meyer is helpful: ‘Do you see the beauty in the unity of a multiethnic church mourning together? Black inner-city mothers who fear their children may not make it home at night should be able to weep on the shoulders of those who don't look like them--those who join their tears instead of judge them.’”
December 15, 2020
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another." (Romans 12:15-16)
Mark Vroegop bases his book on those verses, emphasizing the value of empathy in the context of racial reconciliation. I found this book refreshing, as it wasn't about being "woke" or identifying/condemning "white privilege" -- terms I'll wager have led to even more division in the church. This book is about lamenting the depraved state of our world and expressing hope and trust in our Lord and Savior...and doing it both personally and corporately as fellow Image-bearers. This isn't intended to be a one-stop shop world peace solution, either. As Vroegop points out (many times), lament is a starting point. He utilizes several psalms (~1/3 of the psalms are laments) to show how they can be applied. [He even includes an appendix of those psalms for further study.]
If you're looking for a book addressing racial reconciliation and the church, this is a good place to start.
[Bonus: There's a benefit to learning and applying Biblical lament to other areas of our lives and culture, as well.]
Mark Vroegop bases his book on those verses, emphasizing the value of empathy in the context of racial reconciliation. I found this book refreshing, as it wasn't about being "woke" or identifying/condemning "white privilege" -- terms I'll wager have led to even more division in the church. This book is about lamenting the depraved state of our world and expressing hope and trust in our Lord and Savior...and doing it both personally and corporately as fellow Image-bearers. This isn't intended to be a one-stop shop world peace solution, either. As Vroegop points out (many times), lament is a starting point. He utilizes several psalms (~1/3 of the psalms are laments) to show how they can be applied. [He even includes an appendix of those psalms for further study.]
If you're looking for a book addressing racial reconciliation and the church, this is a good place to start.
[Bonus: There's a benefit to learning and applying Biblical lament to other areas of our lives and culture, as well.]
January 25, 2021
This book was excellent and one I plan to revisit. I also think this is a great resource that I would recommend to someone taking their first steps into the world of racial reconciliation. For someone who might find White Fragility to be too blunt and harsh, and The Color of Compromise to be too overwhelming. This helps people take the very first step necessary to make a difference - lament. To weep with those who weep, to empathize, before anything else. The author is humble in his approach, yet clearly experienced and knowledgeable.
January 19, 2022
Must read for all church members
This book is a must read. It help open my eyes to the pain of racism that I don't get. It also help me see how I can help lead healing in my own life. How racism should grieve us all. We should keep trying to bring an end to it. One way is by lamenting about it to the Lord.
This book is a must read. It help open my eyes to the pain of racism that I don't get. It also help me see how I can help lead healing in my own life. How racism should grieve us all. We should keep trying to bring an end to it. One way is by lamenting about it to the Lord.
December 15, 2020
I only gave this book 3 stars. Not because it’s bad, but just because of its simplicity and only scratching the surface. It’s a decent start/intro book for someone who has never read on or is suspicious of this topic.
December 7, 2022
Here I thought I’d heard of all the good Christian books on race- until this one! This book was wonderful. What an encouragement to lament and pray and ask God for Gospel unity and diversity. Thankful for this book.
October 5, 2021
I like what the author did here.
I've gleaned a few gold nuggets from it.
Thank you
I've gleaned a few gold nuggets from it.
Thank you
July 31, 2020
Excellent. Picked this up from Crossway+ - Well written; thought-provoking - solid, compassionate. Highly recommend.
January 24, 2022
I cannot recommend this highly enough. I love Vroegop's desire to go back to the Word to learn how to lament. I'll be reading this one again and again (and again).
February 13, 2022
Lament is the common language that can unify us before the Lord.
November 4, 2021
This book has sought to demonstrate how lament has the potential to move Christians of different ethnicities toward harmony. One of the most challenging aspects of this book for me has been to consider how quick my mind rushes toward political talking points and arguments about history, while the biblical category of lament is pretty absent from my thinking. I do believe in the vision that this book lays out in the beginning – the reality that Christianity looks most compelling to the world when our identity and unity in the gospel is more foundational than any other identity—including our ethnicity. There were aspects of Mark’s book that I disagreed with and found myself arguing about it in my mind, yet that is precisely what Mark wants us to do – to use the language of lament to move past disagreement and debate towards sympathy and understanding. Our broken world needs to see this vision lived out in our relationships in the church. May the Lord help us grow in this in the months and years together.
October 26, 2023
SUMMARY: College Park Church (Indianapolis, IN) pastor Mark Vroegop takes a broad look at lament through the Psalms with a focus on this "minor-key prayer" being the bridge that can lead to racial reconciliation.
"Lamenting together breaks down barriers, unites hearts, and creates new bonds," Vroegop writes.
Vroegop splits the book into three parts with the first third, lament in the Bible and history, focusing on the absence of lament in the white church and providing a five point framework towards racial reconciliation. The second third, lament and majority Christians, focuses on the majority body of the church and what its posture (weep, speak, repent) towards lament should be. The last third addresses minority Christians and what their posture (protest, triumph, believe) towards lament should be.
At times the book can be repetitive as lament is defined dozens of different times in slightly different ways, but the writing is extremely approachable. The excellent learning to lament worksheet (appendix 2) where Vroegop has a template and instructions on how to write a lament is highly recommended.
KEY QUOTE: "Lament vocalizes concern when life is hard and uncertain. This minor-key prayer keeps us talking to God and one another when pain and fear invade our lives. Instead of allowing silence to deepen divisions, we can join together in lament."
MORE: Visit SundaytoSaturday.com where we curate topics for a disillusioned church.
"Lamenting together breaks down barriers, unites hearts, and creates new bonds," Vroegop writes.
Vroegop splits the book into three parts with the first third, lament in the Bible and history, focusing on the absence of lament in the white church and providing a five point framework towards racial reconciliation. The second third, lament and majority Christians, focuses on the majority body of the church and what its posture (weep, speak, repent) towards lament should be. The last third addresses minority Christians and what their posture (protest, triumph, believe) towards lament should be.
At times the book can be repetitive as lament is defined dozens of different times in slightly different ways, but the writing is extremely approachable. The excellent learning to lament worksheet (appendix 2) where Vroegop has a template and instructions on how to write a lament is highly recommended.
KEY QUOTE: "Lament vocalizes concern when life is hard and uncertain. This minor-key prayer keeps us talking to God and one another when pain and fear invade our lives. Instead of allowing silence to deepen divisions, we can join together in lament."
MORE: Visit SundaytoSaturday.com where we curate topics for a disillusioned church.
June 17, 2020
First sentence: There is no institution more equipped and capable of bringing transformation to the cause of reconciliation than the church.
To say that Weep With Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation is timely would be a bit of an understatement. This is Mark Vroegop's second book on lament and the church's need to lament. His first book, which I loved, loved, loved, loved is Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering The Grace of Lament.
In his second book, he urges readers that lament very well could be the common language that helps bring about the first steps of racial reconciliation. In addition to advocating for learning how to lament in general--both as hurting individuals and as a church body or community--he makes the case for racial reconciliation, and it's a good one: because it's biblical. The idea of different peoples, tongues, tribes, nations, clans, etc. coming together to WORSHIP the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Believers find their reconciliation in Jesus Christ, and he has made us all one.
Vroegop does initially point out that the notion of race is not exactly biblical. God didn't create different races; he created just one, the human race. And that race was created in His Image and for His glory. But while he initially acknowledges that fact, Vroegop soon progresses to using terms and definitions as society does. Words are defined and explained. Race. Racism. Majority. Minority. Prejudice. He is engaging with a conversation with the world, with society, he talks using their terms.
To those who approach any and all books about race with their defense at high alert, this might be alarming and unsettling.
I would encourage you to read this one cover to cover even if you have hesitations here and there. Because even if you don't end up agreeing with him 100% of the time, he offers plenty to think about.
Since not everyone will have read the first book on how to lament and why it's so important to our emotional, mental, and spiritual health to know how to lament, he offers plenty of refreshers on the hows and the whys.
The book is divided into three parts. "In part 1 we’ll start with a basic definition of terms and learn what the biblical language of lament involves. Then we’ll discover the value of spirituals, a musical expression of lament in American culture. And I’ll also show you why I think lament opens a door for reconciliation. Parts 2 and 3 focus on the application of lament. In part 2 we’ll learn how lament can help white Christians weep, speak, and repent where needed. In part 3 we’ll explore lament for African American and other minority believers as they wrestle with exile, redeem their hurt, and dare to hope again. Finally, we’ll conclude by looking at the implications of what we’ve learned together."
Each chapter ends with a lament prayer contributed by a pastor or teacher. (As well as some discussion questions.)
His goal is to see a diverse set of believers worshiping side by side every Sunday on this side of eternity.
To say that Weep With Me: How Lament Opens a Door for Racial Reconciliation is timely would be a bit of an understatement. This is Mark Vroegop's second book on lament and the church's need to lament. His first book, which I loved, loved, loved, loved is Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering The Grace of Lament.
In his second book, he urges readers that lament very well could be the common language that helps bring about the first steps of racial reconciliation. In addition to advocating for learning how to lament in general--both as hurting individuals and as a church body or community--he makes the case for racial reconciliation, and it's a good one: because it's biblical. The idea of different peoples, tongues, tribes, nations, clans, etc. coming together to WORSHIP the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Believers find their reconciliation in Jesus Christ, and he has made us all one.
Vroegop does initially point out that the notion of race is not exactly biblical. God didn't create different races; he created just one, the human race. And that race was created in His Image and for His glory. But while he initially acknowledges that fact, Vroegop soon progresses to using terms and definitions as society does. Words are defined and explained. Race. Racism. Majority. Minority. Prejudice. He is engaging with a conversation with the world, with society, he talks using their terms.
To those who approach any and all books about race with their defense at high alert, this might be alarming and unsettling.
I would encourage you to read this one cover to cover even if you have hesitations here and there. Because even if you don't end up agreeing with him 100% of the time, he offers plenty to think about.
Since not everyone will have read the first book on how to lament and why it's so important to our emotional, mental, and spiritual health to know how to lament, he offers plenty of refreshers on the hows and the whys.
The book is divided into three parts. "In part 1 we’ll start with a basic definition of terms and learn what the biblical language of lament involves. Then we’ll discover the value of spirituals, a musical expression of lament in American culture. And I’ll also show you why I think lament opens a door for reconciliation. Parts 2 and 3 focus on the application of lament. In part 2 we’ll learn how lament can help white Christians weep, speak, and repent where needed. In part 3 we’ll explore lament for African American and other minority believers as they wrestle with exile, redeem their hurt, and dare to hope again. Finally, we’ll conclude by looking at the implications of what we’ve learned together."
Each chapter ends with a lament prayer contributed by a pastor or teacher. (As well as some discussion questions.)
His goal is to see a diverse set of believers worshiping side by side every Sunday on this side of eternity.
Prayers in pain lead to trust—together.
Christianity looks stunning to the world and most emulates Jesus when our identity and unity in the gospel are more foundational than any other identity—including our ethnicity.
When Christians from majority and minority cultures learn to grieve together, they reaffirm their common bond as brothers and sisters in Christ. Lament enters into the deep emotions of sorrow, hurt, misunderstanding, and injustice.
Lament starts with a humble posture. It communicates: “I’m here. I’m sad too. Let’s talk to Jesus, because we need his help.”
Simply stated, a lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. Laments are more than merely the expression of sorrow. The goal of a lament is to recommit oneself to hoping in God, believing his promises, and a godly response to pain, suffering, and injustice. Lament is the historic biblical prayer language of Christians in pain. It’s the voice of God’s people while living in a broken world. Laments acknowledge the reality of pain while trusting in God’s promises.
Godly lamenters keep asking even when the answer is delayed.
Laments help us through suffering by directing our hearts to make the choice—often daily—to trust in God’s purposes hidden behind the pain. In this way, a lament is one of the most theologically informed practices of the Christian life. Laments lead us through our sorrows so that we can trust God and praise him.
Lament creates a language to “weep with those who weep.” It helps us express sorrow with one another. Lament gives us a voice of empathy. It communicates that while we may not understand, we are willing to walk alongside a brother or sister in pain.
The Bible calls us to weep with those who weep; it doesn’t tell us to judge whether they should be weeping. H. B. Charles Jr.
We empathize not because we fully understand but because we have been freely loved by Christ. Entering the pain of another and lamenting with others demonstrates the heart of Christianity.
Lament candidly identifies the brokenness around us and in us. It acknowledges the gap between God’s design for the world and our experience. Lament is the way the Bible talks about life in a sinful world.
Even while the facts are unclear and emotions run high, lamenting the presence of racial tension is better than silence. We can acknowledge the hurt our minority brothers and sisters feel. Lament refuses to allow silence to rule our lives.
July 25, 2020
This is a very helpful book from Mark Vroegop. He writes with clarity about the needs for both majority and minority followers of Jesus to recognize, lament, and engage ethnic harmony with endurance. He gives really practical examples of how lament helps us do this. I highly recommend!
November 14, 2023
Timely and powerful
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