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These Walls Can Talk #1

These Walls Can Talk: A New Play

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It's totally normal to fall in love with an audiobook narrator's voice, right?

Right. Just ask Vera, who listens to "her" guy whenever and wherever she can: while driving, working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, showering... you name it.

But now, she's bringing him into the bedroom. And her husband is less than pleased.

'THESE WALLS CAN TALK' is a raucous and heartfelt love letter to romance audiobooks: the authors who write them, the narrators and engineers who record them and the passionate fans who devour them.

82 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 20, 2020

10 people are currently reading
458 people want to read

About the author

Erin Mallon

593 books700 followers
Erin Mallon's debut romantic comedy novel, Flirtasaurus releases in July 2020. She is an award-winning narrator of over 450 books and an accomplished playwright and producer in New York City. She has written over 40 plays, which have been produced Off-Broadway and all over the country, including These Walls Can Talk, a raucous theatrical love letter to the romance audiobook community. She lives in a little yellow house on the outskirts of NYC with her husband and Three J's.

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5 stars
406 (49%)
4 stars
246 (29%)
3 stars
121 (14%)
2 stars
36 (4%)
1 star
12 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 224 reviews
Profile Image for Carol, She's so Novel ꧁꧂ .
970 reviews840 followers
October 3, 2025
4.5★

This book simply must be read as an audio!

The happily married Vera has a very active...errr...imagination which is ... err... stimulated by her fantasy world that she enters through audio reads.

& what would you do if you were able to meet your secret crush?

This book is wonderfully read by real audio actors. & no cliché writing is too bad for Mallon (who is also an audio actor.)

...a slippery throbbing rocket heading right for Pleasure Town


Chortle!

I don't know if I will continue with this series, but many thanks Ms Mallon for the much needed laughs! I'm not a natural audio reader, but this shorter length worked well for me!

Profile Image for Jacob Proffitt.
3,319 reviews2,164 followers
July 10, 2020
This is really short. And really fun. And do yourself a favor and get the audiobook version because not only did it get some of the big names in romance narration to perform it but they do an incredible job and change it from pastiche to homage with their performance, I think.

It's not serious and some of the on-page prose is pretty awful (deliberately, I'm sure) so it is definitely aimed at the insider lover-of-romance who will know that it exaggerates for effect. But that's probably why I ended up laughing out loud. A lot. I listened to this while doing my late-night walk and I seriously looked around to see if I had woken anybody in the surrounding houses with my snort-laugh. A cop passed at one point and I swear he was looking at me askance, like he was wondering if he should pull me aside and ask what the heck I thought was so funny.

Anyway, it isn't serious enough or grounded enough for me to feel right giving it five stars. Still, it's a lovely and very solid four and if you read lots of romance, and particularly if you consume romance books in audio form, I suspect you'll find this a lot of fun.

A note about Steamy: There are lots of bits from sex in romance so this is steamy, kind of. But it's not really connected to sex sex, if you know what I mean. So it's still on the low end of my steam tolerance.
Profile Image for Jo - •.★Reading Is My Bliss★.•.
2,430 reviews239 followers
June 15, 2020
If you are a fan of audio books then you probably have some favourite narrators that you enjoy listening to. Erin Mallon is one of mine and she has just released this hilarious audio book which gives you a bit of insight into the world of narrators.

It’s completely fictional but there are two main storylines, one is a woman who enjoys the escapism of listening to her favourite male narrator, in between being a mum and wife. The other story focuses on narrators, narrating a book. Eventually the stories cross over into each other with interesting results.

If you love audio books then you will surely enjoy listening to Erin Mallon, Joe Arden, Andi Arndt, Shane East, Tanya Eby, Teddy Hamilton, Emma Wilder as they narrate this fun audio listen.
Profile Image for Pam Nelson.
3,822 reviews124 followers
June 16, 2021
This was my first for this type of audio and I can tell you right now that I loved it. I was smiling and giggling the whole way through.

The parts of Teddy and Andi I couldn’t even so great. The way these narrators bring this story to life its nothing short of amazing. Great writing + Great narration = 1 hellofa book.

I can’t wait for more by Erin Mallon not only is she a great narrator we know now she has hidden talents I hope she keeps sharing with us all.
Profile Image for ☕️Kimberly  (Caffeinated Reviewer).
3,600 reviews785 followers
June 17, 2020
A funny, over-the top look at narrators and the fans who listen to the romance genre. A stellar cast of narrators combined with Mallon's wit delivered plenty of chuckles.
Profile Image for Melissa.
1,491 reviews80 followers
July 4, 2020
Simply adorable. This really is a love letter to the romance audio book reading experience and those talented authors and narrators and engineers who make our love of audio romances possible. It's a short little story, and usually that hurts my enjoyment of a book, but I really enjoyed this. This audio book is presented by an all-star cast of romance audio book narrators ... Andi Ardnt, Teddy Hamilton, Joe Arden, Erin Mallon, Shane East, Tanya Eby, and Emma Wilder. I am an Andi Ardnt mega-fan, and Shane East is probably my all-time favorite male narrator. I could listen to his smooth British accent narrate the phone book and be perfectly satisfied. Teddy Hamilton and Joe Arden also often appear as narrators in the romances I hear. Hearing these familiar voices in this story made it almost feel like coming home, and it helped to drive home the message of this book.

There were so many laugh out loud moments for me in this book, and that's not normal for me. It takes a lot to get me to laugh in a story, but this one made it happen. I loved that in this story the audio book obsession that Vera has and her love of her favorite male narrator's voice only served to enhance her real life love of her husband. I LOVED her husband, but I fully admit that it may be only because Shane East was the narrator for his voice. I loved the FUNNY scenes that illustrated the difficulties with finding ways to be intimate with little kids in the house. And I also loved the somewhat deeper scenes that showed the personalities and struggles of the people narrating these stories. It was also interesting to see an example of the type of people who write these steamy romances. And an added bonus was seeing the engineers who are behind the production of these stories but who rarely get any recognition. Simply said, this was a fun and lovely story that warmed my romance audio book loving heart.

An added bonus was the blooper chapter of mistakes made during the production of this book. LOVED IT! Seriously, they should include these with every audio book. So delightful, and it humanized the voices behind the audio book experience. I think I'll come back to this story every now and then when I want to feel like I'm not alone in this world when it comes to why I love these books. Four stars. I really liked this.
Profile Image for Thirstygirl.
355 reviews
March 7, 2025
As someone who listens to a lot of audiobooks, this short play about romance authors and audiobook narrators hit the spot. This was great to listen to while doing some boring work. It had me laughing out loud.
Profile Image for Emms-hiatus(ish).
1,195 reviews66 followers
May 10, 2024
Super short but absolutely hilarious if you enjoy audiobooks. Popular narrators, full cast.
Profile Image for Jess Brady.
Author 1 book167 followers
January 26, 2022
We all know and love Erin Mallon for her fantastic narrations, but with These Walls Can Talk we get to see her in a whole new way, as the writer. An audio play performed by some of the biggest names in narration you will not be disappointed at the laughs or sheer insanity that takes place.

Vera is seriously obsessed with one specific narrator *wink wink*

Cameron is Vera's husband and completely baffled at audiobooks.

Neil is the audio engineer who might feel a bit underappreciated at times.

Jennifer is new to narration but not what it means to be critiqued.

Atticus the seriously hot narrator who is lacking a bit in the personality department.

and Georgia our seriously spicy author who may or may not be slightly extra.

The narration was just *chefs kiss* seriously though with this cast of narrators would you expect anything else?

This is not supposed to be taken seriously. If you are an audiobook reader, narrator, writer or someone working in the industry then you will be entranced by everything this play has to offer.

On to book two, The Narwhal Strikes Back!!
Profile Image for Rachael.
668 reviews65 followers
August 24, 2023
This is one of the funniest audiobooks I have ever listened to. It’s a satire on how much we romance readers obsess over our favorite audiobook narrators, and it features some of our most loved narrators. Seriously, go give this a listen.

4.5 ⭐️
Profile Image for Aya.
101 reviews54 followers
July 17, 2020
2 stars because of the occasional laughs and because it was a buddy audiobook session, otherwise i didn't find it interesting at all 🤷‍♀️
Profile Image for Anas Attic  Book Blog.
1,600 reviews698 followers
June 23, 2020
These Walls Can Talk Audiobook Review
These Walls Can Talk by Erin Mallon
Narrated by Joe Arden, Andi Arndt, Shane East, Tanya Eby, Teddy Hamilton and Emma Wilder
A Comedy Audio Play
4.5 Stars


If you love romance audiobooks, These Walls Can Talk by Erin Mallon is one you can’t miss. Originally performed via zoom on Facebook, I missed the live show and then went away for the weekend and missed it for the short time it was up. Now I’m glad, because I hear this version was better.

These Walls Can Talk Bookstagram

WARNING: Don’t drink while listening. I spit water (luckily) all over my front windshield because I took a drink and then started laughing my face off. I had no idea what to expect from an audio play, but I didn’t expect it to be so over-the-top funny!

Written as sort of an ode to romance audiobooks, there were a lot of underlying themes that ran through this short (too short) little play. First, we have the wife who listens to audiobooks to spice up her life and her snooty husband, a scifi author who looks down his nose at her audiobook hobby. We have the nutty audio producer who is quite inappropriate in the studio but loves his job, and then there is the romance author who doesn’t believe in love. We also have the new narrator who doesn’t quite ‘get’ the romance genre yet, and last, we have “The Narwhal”, the gorgeous and sexy-voiced narrator that all the women want but nobody has ever seen.

Each of the characters were narrated by a different person and they were all phenomenal. Being that this is all about audiobooks, I can’t find any reason to read and not listen, because These Walls Can Talk was meant for audio, that’s for sure. The blooper reel at the end was just as funny as the book.

Likes:

•A short, fun read (listen).
•Completely unique, as I never listened to a play.
•A few different storylines were going on, but it was easy to follow.
•The whole cast was amazing.
•I literally laughed out loud. HARD. Hard enough to spit water everywhere.
•It was completely over-the-top and didn’t try not to be.
•It was like a love-letter to audiobooks. Well maybe more of a roast, but in a loving way.
•The bloopers. I want these in every book!
•The sneak peek at the end for Flirtasaurus by Erin Mallon. I am so excited for this! I cracked up at the preview.

Dislikes:

•Sometimes there were so many voices it was a little hard to keep track.
•I didn’t love the play format. It was fun for this one book, and I wouldn’t change it, but I wouldn’t seek out other audio plays.

The Narration:
Almost all of my favorite narrators in one little listen, and they played different characters than usual! I loved it. There was one scene with too many voices that lost me but I didn't mind listening to it again.
The Down & Dirty:
Any romance audiobook lover needs to listen to this. It is so freaking funny, and very clear that the author knows her way behind the scenes. While Erin is one of my favorite narrators, almost all of my other favorites were here and we really got to see their silly sides. Erin has a great sense of goofy humor that is right up my alley and I can’t wait to listen to her next book, Flirtasaurus , because the preview had me literally cracking up.

Rating: 4.5 Stars, 3 Heat, 5 Narration

Purchase These Walls Can Talk by Erin Mallon
Affiliate links:


If you enjoy These Walls Can Talk, you should absolutely check out Andi Arndt and Tara Sivec's book, Heidi's Guide to Four Letter Words .



Visit anasattic.com for daily sales, freebies, reviews and recommendations.

Profile Image for maggieandteddy.
1,230 reviews146 followers
October 31, 2022
Update 10/30/22 LIVE from Vegas: Multi cast. I watched this & also followed in the 3 pb books that I bought this summer. Holy batman! So good. Samantha Bretmore subbed for Emma Wilder & Erin Mallon subbed for Maxine Mitchell. I watched via Zoom. So envious of the Vegas audience. !! I'm so happy that I got to see this entire audio/visual play !!
****************
Brilliantly done Erin Mallon !!
This is so damn funny! I was worried that I'd get confused with the multicast. I did not get confused.
There is so much dry humor, so much irony, inside jokes about narrators and listeners AND authors.
Vera- (audiobook listener) married to Cameron (Syfy Time Travel book author),
Neil- audio book recording engineer/producer
Jennifer-successful stage actress and now a new audio book narrator
Atticus- STAR audiobook narrator, nicknamed "the Narwhal"
Georgia- the Romance book author.
Everyone played his/her part so well. I have to say that Vera fangirling scene, really hit home for me. (ha ha) . There was poking fun at narrators and authors too. Georgia really make a great case for Romance books. Then Georgia.... omg ;)
I'm so glad that I bought this. I will listen to this a lot.
Profile Image for Veronica Ticker.
901 reviews62 followers
June 10, 2020
I was there when the author first produced her play as a live Zoom meeting on Facebook, and it was good, but obviously technically limited. This time, it’s perfect!

Most of the original cast is back. They’re all talented narrators who genuinely love the genre, like their characters. Between the enthusiastic listener, the awarded narrator, and the dedicated engineer, you get a whole panel of the genre’s fanatics. On the opposite side, you have the ‘serious’ writer who doesn’t understand his wife’s passion for romance audiobooks, the newbie narrator who’s quite critical of the genre, and the romance writer who doesn’t believe in love. What an interesting bunch of characters! And what better way to explore the genre and the industry.

This audioplay is quite short–maybe even too short. It’s smart, hilarious, perfectly narrated and at times quite true and insightful, even emotional.

Some interesting bonuses are included: bloopers from the recording sessions, and the whole first chapter of the author’s first novel, releasing next month.

It’s a little gem that I highly recommend. Put your earphones on and enjoy!
Profile Image for Christina (Christina's Book Corner).
916 reviews180 followers
June 9, 2022
June 8-9
It's totally normal to fall in love with an audiobook narrator's voice, right?

Right. Just ask Vera, who listens to "her" guy whenever and wherever she can: while driving, working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, showering... you name it.

But now, she's bringing him into the bedroom. And her husband is less than pleased.

'THESE WALLS CAN TALK' is a raucous and heartfelt love letter to romance audiobooks: the authors who write them, the narrators and engineers who record them and the passionate fans who devour them.


Review : This was a hilarious book and highly recommend you have the audiobook for this . If you love audio books this is the book for you this is about audio narrators and a listener vera and her husband who isn't always a lovey but once she meets the audio voice of the one she's been lusting after. Atticus he's not really good with people and tries to kiss her . But vera and Cameron make up . Oh and I love nate and Georgia.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Kristine.
3,435 reviews52 followers
September 24, 2021
3.5 stars 🌟

I had absolutely NO idea what this was about when I hit play and I will admit to almost chocking on my drink in the first 10 minutes. As best as I can explain, it is an ironic play on the Audible actors/narrators, written and performed by those same actors/narrators. It did make me laugh with the examples of verbiage (and sound effects!) from romance books that some of our favorite narrators have to read. Maybe I've gotten used to it, but even to me, these were a bit out there!

It was fun and an easy listen. It will definitely make you smile.
Profile Image for xxBooksILovexx.
779 reviews42 followers
July 1, 2021
Another amazing play by Erin Mallon! Loved the story & the amazing cast of narrators. Thank you, Erin for this fun play. Hysterical narration by Teddy Hamilton, Andi Arndt, Shane East, Joe Arden, Emma Wilder & Tanya Eby.
Profile Image for Alex in Spades.
865 reviews37 followers
June 16, 2020
ALL THE STARS

This was brilliant. Erin Mallon has the inner workings and the knowledge of a narrator to come up with something that simple and yet genius. Add to that her talent for funny and quick one liners and truly amazing writing skill and *ding, ding, ding* you have a winner.

This was my first ever audio play, so I had no idea what to expect. But for sure I didn't expect to laugh so much. When Joe Arden bellowed his lines as a romance narrator in the first scene I cried
from laughing so hard. He did such an amazing job exaggerating his character that it was pure genius of his work as a comedian. The Narval stole the show for me.

But in all honesty the whole cast did a wonderful job. Andy and Shane brought chemistry to the next level, Emma Wilder and Teddy Hamilton created an amazing power duo of friends, Tanya Eby and her extravaganza made me laugh even harder. You can feel that these guys are professionals, but they also truly love their job and are great at it, having fun at the same time.

So big thank you to Erin Mallon for bringing me a few hours of crazy, hilarious and brilliant escape from reality.

As for the teaser of Erin's first romance novel - damn! I can't wait for it.
Profile Image for Emily Patricia Book Worm.
309 reviews13 followers
December 21, 2023
This was so funny. It is written like a screen play and follows 6 characters whose lives interconnect at the end. It focuses on the authors, narrators, and readers of books. It pokes fun at the industry, the stories, and the readers. If you are an audiobook fan, you have to listen to this. The narrators are so over the top, again, because it's poking fun!

I was laughing so hard I was tearing up 3.5 minutes into the audiobook. Here are a few quotes to give you an idea as to why. Keep in mind it helps to hear it, so just listen to it!
-papa's pogo
-fck me like a Beluga
- harder, harder, harder ( moaned in the style of a Beluga whale)
-well hung ladder company
Profile Image for Gloria.
412 reviews13 followers
June 11, 2020
If you are an audio romance fan, this audio play is pretty fun. It pokes fun at narrators, authors and readers. It's short (like really short). I think the bloopers were one of the best parts. You can definitely relate if you are an avid listener.
Profile Image for Jenny Houle.
894 reviews10 followers
February 21, 2021
All my favorites. Not sure what I was expecting, but this audio play was wonderful. I think it was relatable for so many of us who have come to love these narrators... romance books, audio reading versus eye reading, etc. And the bloopers made me giggle.
Profile Image for Amy Sutton.
419 reviews4 followers
May 18, 2022
novella that was a fun treat with some of my favorite audiobook narrators.
Profile Image for Robin.
1,176 reviews14 followers
January 7, 2024
🎧
I have never listened to something this funny in my life. I laughed so hard, tears were running down my face. I want to be witty and pick out pieces of this amazing audio, but I just can’t think right now.
I’m still laughing …..
Profile Image for Kaely Smith.
83 reviews3 followers
January 21, 2024
This was such a fun little romcom sketch that was a fun and easy listen. Can't wait to listen to the second one!
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