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Artemis Fowl #1
Artemis Fowl
Artemis Fowl, dvanáctiletý kluk pocházející z kdysi zámožné zločinecké rodiny, působí díky své chytrosti jako zázračné dítě. Tátu unesli, s mámou, která to těžce nese, jsou problémy, ale on se tím nenechá zdeptat. Má totiž geniální plán! Udělá vše pro to, aby získal nezměrné bohatství na záchranu otce a obnovení majetku Fowlů. A jak jinak, když žije v Irsku v 21. století, než prostřednictvím skřítků leprikónů a té nejmodernější techniky?
Audiokniha, 7 hodin, 33 minut
Audiokniha, 7 hodin, 33 minut
Audiobook
First published April 26, 2001
17584 people are currently reading
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About the author
Eoin Colfer
156 books11.8k followersEoin Colfer (pronounced Owen) was born in Wexford on the South-East coast of Ireland in 1965, where he and his four brothers were brought up by his father and mother, who were both educators.
He received his degree from Dublin University and began teaching primary school in Wexford. He has lived and worked all over the world, including Saudi Arabia, Tunisia and Italy. After the publication of the Artemis Fowl novels, Eoin retired from teaching and now writes full time. He lives in Ireland with his wife and two children.
He received his degree from Dublin University and began teaching primary school in Wexford. He has lived and worked all over the world, including Saudi Arabia, Tunisia and Italy. After the publication of the Artemis Fowl novels, Eoin retired from teaching and now writes full time. He lives in Ireland with his wife and two children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 14,401 reviews
October 17, 2007
i managed to decipher the code written below the book so for those who are interested...read on:
THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING:
I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING. BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM. FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN. MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE. I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS. BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR POT CLEANER CAN SEE WONDROUS THINGS. A VISION CAME TO ME TWO MOONS AGO, WHEN I WAS GAZING DEEP INTO HIS MAJESTY’S OWN PHLEGM POT. I WAS HEATING THE POT OVER A FLAME WHEN THE SIGN APPEARED. THIS VISION WAS MORE VIVID AND DETAILED THAN ANY I HAD PREVIOUSLY SEEN. BECAUSE OF ITS IMPORTANCE, I DECIDED TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR POSTERITY. AND SO I CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO. I SAW AN AGE WHEN THE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DRIVEN UNDERGROUND BY THE MUD MEN. THIS IS WHAT THE PHLEGM TOLD ME: IN THIS TIME, ONE SHALL COME AMONG US. FOWL BY NAME AND FOUL BY NATURE. A MUD MAN UNLIKE ANY OTHER. HE SHALL LEARN OUR SECRETS AND USE THEM AGAINST US. I SEE HIM NOW AS PLAIN AS DAY. HIS FACE IS PALE, HE HAS DARK EYES AND RAVEN HAIR. YET IT MUST BE A MISTAKE FOR HE SEEMS A MERE YOUTH. SURELY NO MUD BOY COULD OUTWIT THE PEOPLE. BUT NOW I SEE THAT THE BOY IS NOT ALONE. HE IS AIDED BY A FORMIDABLE WARRIOR SCARRED FROM A THOUSAND BATTLES. THIS FOWL SHALL HOLD THE PEOPLE TO RANSOM FOR THEIR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. GOLD. AND IN SPITE OF ALL OUR MAGIC, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT HE WILL PREVAIL. FOR HE HAS DISCOVERED HOW TO ESCAPE THE TIME FIELD, UNFORTUNATELY, HOW THE STORY ENDS I CANNOT SAY. BUT THERE WAS MORE TO SEE. THERE IS ANOTHER STORY TO COME, SOMEONE WILL BRING THE PEOPLE AND MUD MEN TOGETHER. THE WORST OF BOTH RACES. THIS: FAIRYS’ GOAL IS TO GRIND ALL THE CREATURES OF THE EARTH BENEATH HIS BOOT. AND WHO IS THIS TRAITOR, IT IS NOT CLEAR. BUT HE SHALL START A WAR UNLIKE ANYTHING THE PEOPLE HAVE EVER SEEN. THOSE WHO WERE ENEMIES SHALL BE UNITED AGAINST HIM. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE WILL BE MUD MEN BELOW GROUND. I HAVE ONE CLUE TO HIS IDENTITY, A RIDDLE: GOBLINS SHALL RISE AND HAVEN SHALL FALL, A VILLAINOUS ELF IS BEHIND IT ALL TO FIND THE ONE WHO SO DISAPPOINTS LOOK YE TO WHERE THE FINGER POINTS. INSTEAD OF ONE FACE THIS ELF HAS TWO. BOTH SPEAK FALSE AND NONE SPEAK TRUE. WHILE PUBLICLY HE LENDS A HELPING HAND, HIS TRUE AIM IS TO SEIZE COMMAND. I KNOW IT’S NOT VERY PLAIN IS IT I DON’T UNDERSTAND EITHER. BUT PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR. LOOK FOR A POWER HUNGRY ELF WHO HAS A FINGER POINTED TO HIM DURING OUR TALE. AND SO THIS IS OHM’S LEGACY. A WARNING THAT MAY SAVE THE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION. THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH I KNOW. THE DETAILS ARE A BIT SKETCHY. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO CONSULT THE PHLEGM. IT MAY BE THAT YOU ARE SENSITIVE. I HAVE BURIED THIS PROPHECY WITH MY PHLEGM POT. IF YOU ARE NOT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK AS A POT CLEANER, THEN THERE IS USUALLY A SUPPLY OF PHLEGM EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A COLD. HERE END ETH THE FIRST PROPHECIES OF OHM. BUT BECAUSE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF MY VISIONS, I SHALL REPEAT THE PROPHECIES ONCE MORE. IF YOU HAVE JUST BEGUN TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT THEN READ ON. IF YOU HAVE WORKED OUT THE ENTIRE MESSAGE THEN CONGRATULATIONS. NOW GO AND SAVE THE WORLD.
this was written in the book at least 3 times.
THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING:
I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING. BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM. FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN. MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE. I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS. BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR POT CLEANER CAN SEE WONDROUS THINGS. A VISION CAME TO ME TWO MOONS AGO, WHEN I WAS GAZING DEEP INTO HIS MAJESTY’S OWN PHLEGM POT. I WAS HEATING THE POT OVER A FLAME WHEN THE SIGN APPEARED. THIS VISION WAS MORE VIVID AND DETAILED THAN ANY I HAD PREVIOUSLY SEEN. BECAUSE OF ITS IMPORTANCE, I DECIDED TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR POSTERITY. AND SO I CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO. I SAW AN AGE WHEN THE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DRIVEN UNDERGROUND BY THE MUD MEN. THIS IS WHAT THE PHLEGM TOLD ME: IN THIS TIME, ONE SHALL COME AMONG US. FOWL BY NAME AND FOUL BY NATURE. A MUD MAN UNLIKE ANY OTHER. HE SHALL LEARN OUR SECRETS AND USE THEM AGAINST US. I SEE HIM NOW AS PLAIN AS DAY. HIS FACE IS PALE, HE HAS DARK EYES AND RAVEN HAIR. YET IT MUST BE A MISTAKE FOR HE SEEMS A MERE YOUTH. SURELY NO MUD BOY COULD OUTWIT THE PEOPLE. BUT NOW I SEE THAT THE BOY IS NOT ALONE. HE IS AIDED BY A FORMIDABLE WARRIOR SCARRED FROM A THOUSAND BATTLES. THIS FOWL SHALL HOLD THE PEOPLE TO RANSOM FOR THEIR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. GOLD. AND IN SPITE OF ALL OUR MAGIC, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT HE WILL PREVAIL. FOR HE HAS DISCOVERED HOW TO ESCAPE THE TIME FIELD, UNFORTUNATELY, HOW THE STORY ENDS I CANNOT SAY. BUT THERE WAS MORE TO SEE. THERE IS ANOTHER STORY TO COME, SOMEONE WILL BRING THE PEOPLE AND MUD MEN TOGETHER. THE WORST OF BOTH RACES. THIS: FAIRYS’ GOAL IS TO GRIND ALL THE CREATURES OF THE EARTH BENEATH HIS BOOT. AND WHO IS THIS TRAITOR, IT IS NOT CLEAR. BUT HE SHALL START A WAR UNLIKE ANYTHING THE PEOPLE HAVE EVER SEEN. THOSE WHO WERE ENEMIES SHALL BE UNITED AGAINST HIM. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE WILL BE MUD MEN BELOW GROUND. I HAVE ONE CLUE TO HIS IDENTITY, A RIDDLE: GOBLINS SHALL RISE AND HAVEN SHALL FALL, A VILLAINOUS ELF IS BEHIND IT ALL TO FIND THE ONE WHO SO DISAPPOINTS LOOK YE TO WHERE THE FINGER POINTS. INSTEAD OF ONE FACE THIS ELF HAS TWO. BOTH SPEAK FALSE AND NONE SPEAK TRUE. WHILE PUBLICLY HE LENDS A HELPING HAND, HIS TRUE AIM IS TO SEIZE COMMAND. I KNOW IT’S NOT VERY PLAIN IS IT I DON’T UNDERSTAND EITHER. BUT PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR. LOOK FOR A POWER HUNGRY ELF WHO HAS A FINGER POINTED TO HIM DURING OUR TALE. AND SO THIS IS OHM’S LEGACY. A WARNING THAT MAY SAVE THE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION. THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH I KNOW. THE DETAILS ARE A BIT SKETCHY. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO CONSULT THE PHLEGM. IT MAY BE THAT YOU ARE SENSITIVE. I HAVE BURIED THIS PROPHECY WITH MY PHLEGM POT. IF YOU ARE NOT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK AS A POT CLEANER, THEN THERE IS USUALLY A SUPPLY OF PHLEGM EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A COLD. HERE END ETH THE FIRST PROPHECIES OF OHM. BUT BECAUSE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF MY VISIONS, I SHALL REPEAT THE PROPHECIES ONCE MORE. IF YOU HAVE JUST BEGUN TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT THEN READ ON. IF YOU HAVE WORKED OUT THE ENTIRE MESSAGE THEN CONGRATULATIONS. NOW GO AND SAVE THE WORLD.
this was written in the book at least 3 times.
January 20, 2021
(A-) 81% | Very Good
Notes: Ironically, it's the supernatural characters that follow familiar archetypes, while the humans are strange and atypical.
Notes: Ironically, it's the supernatural characters that follow familiar archetypes, while the humans are strange and atypical.
July 15, 2025
(A-) 81% | Very Good
Notes: Wherein worlds collide, a raucous ride, droll distinctive players, quite juvenile but reconciled: a farce of many layers.
*Check out progress updates for detailed commentary:
Notes: Wherein worlds collide, a raucous ride, droll distinctive players, quite juvenile but reconciled: a farce of many layers.
*Check out progress updates for detailed commentary:
May 28, 2021
I had heard some mothers in a bookstore talking about Artemis Fowl and how good it was, so I finally gave in and bought the first book.
Summary: Artemis Fowl is a child genius/billionaire/criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies (and the like) are real and is seeking to exploit them. He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon (for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance). The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People (or humans).
I decided that the book was not good in the first few pages. The writing is not up to par. Some of the dialogue seems like it came from two six-year-olds arguing about whose laser gun was better, when in fact all they have are cheap squirt guns. A child’s imagination is an amazing thing, but the words they use to describe their imagination is quite another. In addition to the bad writing and dialogue, the plot is also poorly structured.
But what makes me really angry about this book is the attempt to brainwash kids through literature. I am not opposed to teaching children morals and values through stories, in fact that is the way it has been done for centuries, but this book goes above and beyond what is acceptable. The author, Eoin Colfer, is trying to teach children to take care of the environment by contrasting the ideal environmentally friendly fairy society with the evil polluting dirty dolphin and puppy killing human society. In attempting this, he appears to be repulsed by not just pollution but of the whole human race. Keep in mind that Mud People is the Fairy term for human being, a term that seems to come straight out of Nazi propaganda against Jews.
When characters in Harry Potter called Hermione a mudblood, it was clear those characters were evil. In Artemis, it is the most likeable, most good character that uses that term Mud People to describe humans.
Let me share some additional passages with you:
If the Mud People knew [about leprechauns] they’d probably take steps to stamp them out. Pg. 33
Mud People bred like rodents. Pg. 50
The Mud People destroyed everything they came in contact with. Pg. 50
The only good thing about going to the toilet was the minerals being returned to the earth, but the Mud People had even managed to botch that up by treating the …stuff…with bottles of blue chemicals. Pg. 50
She could see the pollution in [the dolphins], bleaching their skin white and giving them red sores on their backs. And although she smiled, her heart was breaking. Mud People had a lot to answer for. Pg. 68
The smell of death and pain lingered in the blood-swabbed decks. Many noble creatures had died here, died and been dissected for a few bars of soap and some heating oil. Humans were such barbarians. Pg. 105
The Mud People had greased the hinges [of the whaling boat] with whale blubber. Was there no end to their depravity. Pg. 106
Mud People have been stealing from us for millennia. Why do you think we live underground? Pg. 120
…unless the Mud People had learned to coexist with other species. And if history had taught any lessons it was that humans couldn’t get along with anyone, even themselves. Pg. 125
“…I’d say there was some human blood in you.” In describing a fairy who was a little trigger happy. Then later, he apologized because, "it had been a deeply offensive insult." Pg. 128
No one built weapons of cruelty like the Mud Men. Pg. 265
I recognize that the types of humans described in the above passages do in fact exist, but not all humans are like that, and we are getting better. But a 7 year old reading this book can't help but come away with a deep loathing for all the other humans who are killing dolphins and destroying the Earth. And again, I think that teaching kids to take good care of the other is a movie endeavor for a work of fiction. This book just appears to go way too far.
But you know what I would like to do now, I would like to debate Mr. Colfer’s accusations on humanity using the fairy world he created for her book.
First, a basic history of human-fairy relations, according to Colfer. Fairies descended from Pterodactyls, and lived peacefully on earth for many millennia until the humans evolved. The fairies called these humans, Mud People, because they lived in the mud. The humans apparently could not help but try and kill the fairies. Cuz humans are b evil by nature. Instead of fighting or teaching the humans, the fairies withdrew underground and ceded the surface to this new evil species that would spend the next thousands of years systematically destroyingand all that the Fairy folk love. The fairies live underground going deeper and deeper as we humans mine and drill more and more. The fairies only return to the surface to replenish their magic.
Now, answer me this, if you care about something, would you fight for it or would you run and hide? Me, I would fight for it, and it seems that the fairies would too. They don't want to see living creatures destroyed. That is the basis for the plot of the book, but for some reason, the fairies decided to hide, while the mud people destroy the earth that they care about so much.
I say fight, but there might be other options. Education, sharing of technology, etc. All we know is that they are not fighting or doing anything really. The fairies complain about our destruction and pollution of earth. However, the main fairy in the book at one point uses gasoline powered wings (they strap onto their backs). Now granted, they were an old pair of wings, all the newer wings are solar powered, but the fact that they had at one point used gasoline, and are still using gasoline in older modeled wings, indicates that they are partially responsible for the green house gases and other pollution associated with drilling and refining oil. They only switched to solar recently.
The main fairy also complains about the human's sewage treatment. What would the fairies propose that we do with our sewage besides treating it so it doesn't breed disease that isn't just harmful to humans. We create so much that the earth cannot biodegrade it quickly enough to keep disease from breeding in it. Now, if we had the magic power to heal, like the fairies, then maybe we could just let it return to earth naturally, and get healed from any adverse effects. However, the fairies won't share even healing magic with the mud people.
At one point, author says that no one builds weapons of cruelty like the humans, yet, throughout the book, Colfer describes fairy weapons like a “Neutrino 2000” which is a platinum nuclear handgun that has three settings, “scorched, well-done, and crisped to a cinder”. It seems like a pretty cruel weapon for just one person to weild. Not only that, but the gun will continue to work for well over a thousand years, so not only can you use it to kill many things, but should you die or lose it, it will continue to work in the hands of others for a millenium. But the worst weapon the fairies have invented which seems much more cruel than anything humans have yet created, is a “Blue Rinse”, which is a biological bomb that destroys only living tissue, leaving the landscape unchanged. Can you imagine? All the “benefits” of Hiroshima, without all the bad side effects like destroying a city. And what’s worse is that while we have used the nuclear bomb only twice, the fairies use the blue rinse “on rare occasions.” That sounds a lot more frequent than twice. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like the fairies are just as capable as humans in the production of weapons of cruelty.
But this whole review/argument is stupid. There are no fairies with magic powers, and if they do exist, they have decided not to help us. So, it is up to us humans to work things out on our own. While there have been some bad things in our past, what matters now is our present, and what we do from here on out, and I would like to say that in spite of it all, we are doing a pretty good job. Humans are good creatures, created in the image of God. We are imperfect, but on the whole, we are all striving for perfection every day. And that is all I have to say about that.
Summary: Artemis Fowl is a child genius/billionaire/criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies (and the like) are real and is seeking to exploit them. He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon (for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance). The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People (or humans).
I decided that the book was not good in the first few pages. The writing is not up to par. Some of the dialogue seems like it came from two six-year-olds arguing about whose laser gun was better, when in fact all they have are cheap squirt guns. A child’s imagination is an amazing thing, but the words they use to describe their imagination is quite another. In addition to the bad writing and dialogue, the plot is also poorly structured.
But what makes me really angry about this book is the attempt to brainwash kids through literature. I am not opposed to teaching children morals and values through stories, in fact that is the way it has been done for centuries, but this book goes above and beyond what is acceptable. The author, Eoin Colfer, is trying to teach children to take care of the environment by contrasting the ideal environmentally friendly fairy society with the evil polluting dirty dolphin and puppy killing human society. In attempting this, he appears to be repulsed by not just pollution but of the whole human race. Keep in mind that Mud People is the Fairy term for human being, a term that seems to come straight out of Nazi propaganda against Jews.
When characters in Harry Potter called Hermione a mudblood, it was clear those characters were evil. In Artemis, it is the most likeable, most good character that uses that term Mud People to describe humans.
Let me share some additional passages with you:
If the Mud People knew [about leprechauns] they’d probably take steps to stamp them out. Pg. 33
Mud People bred like rodents. Pg. 50
The Mud People destroyed everything they came in contact with. Pg. 50
The only good thing about going to the toilet was the minerals being returned to the earth, but the Mud People had even managed to botch that up by treating the …stuff…with bottles of blue chemicals. Pg. 50
She could see the pollution in [the dolphins], bleaching their skin white and giving them red sores on their backs. And although she smiled, her heart was breaking. Mud People had a lot to answer for. Pg. 68
The smell of death and pain lingered in the blood-swabbed decks. Many noble creatures had died here, died and been dissected for a few bars of soap and some heating oil. Humans were such barbarians. Pg. 105
The Mud People had greased the hinges [of the whaling boat] with whale blubber. Was there no end to their depravity. Pg. 106
Mud People have been stealing from us for millennia. Why do you think we live underground? Pg. 120
…unless the Mud People had learned to coexist with other species. And if history had taught any lessons it was that humans couldn’t get along with anyone, even themselves. Pg. 125
“…I’d say there was some human blood in you.” In describing a fairy who was a little trigger happy. Then later, he apologized because, "it had been a deeply offensive insult." Pg. 128
No one built weapons of cruelty like the Mud Men. Pg. 265
I recognize that the types of humans described in the above passages do in fact exist, but not all humans are like that, and we are getting better. But a 7 year old reading this book can't help but come away with a deep loathing for all the other humans who are killing dolphins and destroying the Earth. And again, I think that teaching kids to take good care of the other is a movie endeavor for a work of fiction. This book just appears to go way too far.
But you know what I would like to do now, I would like to debate Mr. Colfer’s accusations on humanity using the fairy world he created for her book.
First, a basic history of human-fairy relations, according to Colfer. Fairies descended from Pterodactyls, and lived peacefully on earth for many millennia until the humans evolved. The fairies called these humans, Mud People, because they lived in the mud. The humans apparently could not help but try and kill the fairies. Cuz humans are b evil by nature. Instead of fighting or teaching the humans, the fairies withdrew underground and ceded the surface to this new evil species that would spend the next thousands of years systematically destroyingand all that the Fairy folk love. The fairies live underground going deeper and deeper as we humans mine and drill more and more. The fairies only return to the surface to replenish their magic.
Now, answer me this, if you care about something, would you fight for it or would you run and hide? Me, I would fight for it, and it seems that the fairies would too. They don't want to see living creatures destroyed. That is the basis for the plot of the book, but for some reason, the fairies decided to hide, while the mud people destroy the earth that they care about so much.
I say fight, but there might be other options. Education, sharing of technology, etc. All we know is that they are not fighting or doing anything really. The fairies complain about our destruction and pollution of earth. However, the main fairy in the book at one point uses gasoline powered wings (they strap onto their backs). Now granted, they were an old pair of wings, all the newer wings are solar powered, but the fact that they had at one point used gasoline, and are still using gasoline in older modeled wings, indicates that they are partially responsible for the green house gases and other pollution associated with drilling and refining oil. They only switched to solar recently.
The main fairy also complains about the human's sewage treatment. What would the fairies propose that we do with our sewage besides treating it so it doesn't breed disease that isn't just harmful to humans. We create so much that the earth cannot biodegrade it quickly enough to keep disease from breeding in it. Now, if we had the magic power to heal, like the fairies, then maybe we could just let it return to earth naturally, and get healed from any adverse effects. However, the fairies won't share even healing magic with the mud people.
At one point, author says that no one builds weapons of cruelty like the humans, yet, throughout the book, Colfer describes fairy weapons like a “Neutrino 2000” which is a platinum nuclear handgun that has three settings, “scorched, well-done, and crisped to a cinder”. It seems like a pretty cruel weapon for just one person to weild. Not only that, but the gun will continue to work for well over a thousand years, so not only can you use it to kill many things, but should you die or lose it, it will continue to work in the hands of others for a millenium. But the worst weapon the fairies have invented which seems much more cruel than anything humans have yet created, is a “Blue Rinse”, which is a biological bomb that destroys only living tissue, leaving the landscape unchanged. Can you imagine? All the “benefits” of Hiroshima, without all the bad side effects like destroying a city. And what’s worse is that while we have used the nuclear bomb only twice, the fairies use the blue rinse “on rare occasions.” That sounds a lot more frequent than twice. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like the fairies are just as capable as humans in the production of weapons of cruelty.
But this whole review/argument is stupid. There are no fairies with magic powers, and if they do exist, they have decided not to help us. So, it is up to us humans to work things out on our own. While there have been some bad things in our past, what matters now is our present, and what we do from here on out, and I would like to say that in spite of it all, we are doing a pretty good job. Humans are good creatures, created in the image of God. We are imperfect, but on the whole, we are all striving for perfection every day. And that is all I have to say about that.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 21, 2020
It´s the setting, the fantasy sci-fi crossover mix, the humor and the good oldfashioned badass smartass character trope that make this series an entertaining read. I´ve so far read no children books author who made such a mix and I would, in general, like to see more tech and Sci-Fi there instead of just fantasy all the shelves up and down.
The tech is not broken down to ridiculous simplicity, but not too complex and perfect for speeding up and slowing down the plot, some character development problems, dialogues, and motivations could be hidden innuendos to grown-up readers, something Rick Riordan loves to do to and, most important, this is something that can really get kids into reading because it´s no standard fiction, but something with hearth and soul that dares to be defiant.
It unites reflection space for male and female readers, combines different genres, and, oh my gosh, has a message in it. From now on I am more reflecting on why people, some friends (just a joke, I don´t have social contacts), and great human beings (that´s really ridiculous), get bite reflexes when reading children's books, so it might get a bit controversial:
I don´t get it why people always tend to overreact if there is a harmless message in a book that doesn´t say anything racist, extreme, dangerous,… but criticizes human nature and is pro-environmental protection instead. It´s not as if it was recruiting and brainwashing for dangerous political or religious ideologies, it´s about saving the planet and being critical regarding other humans' intentions and society in general.
Adults bashing children books authors for having a positive agenda towards a better world should possibly debate with their real political opponents ( I don´t care about politics anymore, except everything progressive that doesn´t do harm from whoever it comes, just focus on the future in the form of the next generations, the environment, and science) instead of highly subjectively interpreting and seeing perfidious conspiracy theory stuff in books for 9 to 15-year-olds.
The funniest thing is that this is no metaphysical blah blah about any kind of not so important, not clear, philosophical faith stuff that doesn´t matter, it´s the only living space we have and the author is damn right to describe us as what we are and what we do.
Other critics seem to have problems with villain characters who aren´t honest and law-abiding because kids reading books will become criminals with such bad role models, not with such great ones as the kids watching political debates and TV in general and playing computer games.
Or, finally, the character design and credibility of a book that should be understandable to, I have to overemphasize and repeat myself, kids, small humans, not adults, is sooo bad that the book deserves just one star. Come on man, really? Rick Riordan, Derek Landy,… anything without too critical content is superb, but as soon as something one doesn´t like is integrated, the book is bad and the artificial error searching and cherry-picking begins? Probably time for a bit of self-reflection and priority setting.
Or do they wish to offend kids by doing as if they were stupid by just telling them that all is happy go lucky, unicorns, rainbows, glitter, lollypops, and stuff and that all humans are friendly, just as the adults do to avoid critical thinking? By breeding the next population of opportunistic no brainers all problems are worsening.
Tropes show how literature is conceptualized and created and which mixture of elements makes works and genres unique:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...
The tech is not broken down to ridiculous simplicity, but not too complex and perfect for speeding up and slowing down the plot, some character development problems, dialogues, and motivations could be hidden innuendos to grown-up readers, something Rick Riordan loves to do to and, most important, this is something that can really get kids into reading because it´s no standard fiction, but something with hearth and soul that dares to be defiant.
It unites reflection space for male and female readers, combines different genres, and, oh my gosh, has a message in it. From now on I am more reflecting on why people, some friends (just a joke, I don´t have social contacts), and great human beings (that´s really ridiculous), get bite reflexes when reading children's books, so it might get a bit controversial:
I don´t get it why people always tend to overreact if there is a harmless message in a book that doesn´t say anything racist, extreme, dangerous,… but criticizes human nature and is pro-environmental protection instead. It´s not as if it was recruiting and brainwashing for dangerous political or religious ideologies, it´s about saving the planet and being critical regarding other humans' intentions and society in general.
Adults bashing children books authors for having a positive agenda towards a better world should possibly debate with their real political opponents ( I don´t care about politics anymore, except everything progressive that doesn´t do harm from whoever it comes, just focus on the future in the form of the next generations, the environment, and science) instead of highly subjectively interpreting and seeing perfidious conspiracy theory stuff in books for 9 to 15-year-olds.
The funniest thing is that this is no metaphysical blah blah about any kind of not so important, not clear, philosophical faith stuff that doesn´t matter, it´s the only living space we have and the author is damn right to describe us as what we are and what we do.
Other critics seem to have problems with villain characters who aren´t honest and law-abiding because kids reading books will become criminals with such bad role models, not with such great ones as the kids watching political debates and TV in general and playing computer games.
Or, finally, the character design and credibility of a book that should be understandable to, I have to overemphasize and repeat myself, kids, small humans, not adults, is sooo bad that the book deserves just one star. Come on man, really? Rick Riordan, Derek Landy,… anything without too critical content is superb, but as soon as something one doesn´t like is integrated, the book is bad and the artificial error searching and cherry-picking begins? Probably time for a bit of self-reflection and priority setting.
Or do they wish to offend kids by doing as if they were stupid by just telling them that all is happy go lucky, unicorns, rainbows, glitter, lollypops, and stuff and that all humans are friendly, just as the adults do to avoid critical thinking? By breeding the next population of opportunistic no brainers all problems are worsening.
Tropes show how literature is conceptualized and created and which mixture of elements makes works and genres unique:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...
October 11, 2023
Shockingly and surprisingly for me, I found this a top drawer read both time I have now read this! 'The People' are Colfer's wonderful re-imagined take on the Fae, Sprites, Goblins, Trolls, Dwarves etc. Artemis Fowl, budding and unashamedly a super villain finds out that these fantastical humanoids exist, so what does he decide to do? Find a way to make a huge profit from them of course!
This is one of the best re-imagines of the magical fantastic reality since the True Blood Collection, in my opinion. This book and story came to me from left field - not only do we get a child super villain protagonist, we get a whole culture of magical creatures living in their own modern technological and digital reality! - I had to immediately go an order the entire series after reading this the first time. On top of all that, this it is wonderfully age appropriate for children, and yet, still quite darkly funny at times. Love this! 9.5 out of 12, strong Four Star read.
2023 and 2019 read
This is one of the best re-imagines of the magical fantastic reality since the True Blood Collection, in my opinion. This book and story came to me from left field - not only do we get a child super villain protagonist, we get a whole culture of magical creatures living in their own modern technological and digital reality! - I had to immediately go an order the entire series after reading this the first time. On top of all that, this it is wonderfully age appropriate for children, and yet, still quite darkly funny at times. Love this! 9.5 out of 12, strong Four Star read.
2023 and 2019 read
August 11, 2016
Colfer has described this series as “Die Hard, with fairies”, which is a reference to an old Hollywood joke. After the phenomenal success of that movie, a lot of writers started pitching their scripts as ‘Die Hard, with [blank]”, such as Speed: “Die Hard on a Bus”, or Air Force One: “Die Hard, on Air Force One”, or, as the joke goes, the unfortunate who wanted to make "Die Hard, in a building".
If you have actually seen Die Hard, you might recall Hans Gruber, the wealthy, cunning, erudite, European villain (played by Alan ‘Not-Just-Snape’ Rickman). But in this book, the European criminal is the main character, suggesting Colfer views the movie in the same light as Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother:
”Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.”
So, already, we have some interesting choices going on, but many’s the good idea buried by poor execution.
In some ways, telling a good story is like telling an effective lie: you have to know your limits. Like the old writer's adage from Faulker: you've got to kill your darlings. Those overly clever ideas and indulgences have to go, if they don't fit, which they usually don't.
If an author gives in to the urge over-explain or get too fancy, he's going to trip himself up, and Colfer often does. He throws around a lot of terminology, trying to seem knowledgeable to lend credibility to his little fantasy story, but he usually gets it wrong.
He talks about an impact hitting with ‘a ton of G force’, which is nonsense. ‘G Force’ already has a built-in unit of measurement, which is 'Gs', not mass. The process of acceleration can be described in mass, but it would have to be compared to the acceleration of gravity on Earth, or 'Gs', which Colfer fails to do. It would be like describing the speed of a car as ‘fourteen feet'.
He also describes a character as rocketing down a hallway at Mach 1, which is the speed of sound (768 mph). Moving at this speed for a tenth of a second—the amount of time it takes for our brain to react enough to blink—a person would travel 112’, more than the length of the hallway described. Yet he still has his character looking back, adjusting his visor, and fretting about whether he will make it through the door. Not to mention that someone accelerating to Mach 1 within the length of such a hallway would squash them like a bug (at 350 Gs).
He also describes a seasoned bodyguard who refers to the spin kick as pointless and flashy. While jumping spinning kicks may fall into this category, a simple spinning back kick is both an effective and basic tool for a martial artist, and one which is often used in competition in many full-contact disciplines.
Early in the book, he goes to great lengths to describe the computer translation of an unknown language. The entire process is extremely simplified, which is fine, but then, when the translation comes out, not only is it grammatically perfect, it’s all in rhyming couplets!
I always feel frustrated by authors who see the 'Young Adult' label as an excuse to write a thoughtless, cliche book full of simple mistakes. I don't think giving kids badly-researched misinformation is going to turn them into better readers.
And these are all details that could have been easily glossed over. Anyone who knew what the terms meant would have seen they were wrong, and anyone who didn't know them would find them meaningless. One of the benefits of writing Science Fiction or Fantasy is not having to explain yourself, not having to be an expert in everything you talk about. You can just wave your hand and give some mumbo-jumbo and that’s fine, we can suspend our disbelief as long as your story's good.
Which is why, when an author writing a fantastical story tries to inject realism, it's important for them to know what they are talking about, otherwise, they’ll just make themselves look foolish for no good reason. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Colfer tried to come off as well-informed and technical, and failed miserably. A good author doesn’t telegraph their ineptitude, they hide it--but that means a good author must be aware of their limits.
He also goes on a rather condescending diatribe about how Ireland is the most magical place, and Irish mythology is superior to all other myths, because Ireland is the birthplace of all magic. Not only is this a rather insensitive view, it’s also short-sighted, since the book is full of myths which have their basis not in Ireland, but in Scandinavia (dwarves, elves, and trolls). The original people of Ireland were short and dark-haired, with their own complex mythologies. All the redheads of Ireland are descendants of Scandinavian invaders, who brought their myths with them.
But even after this bit of out-of-place nationalism, Colfer never actually ends up using any Irish myth in the story. It’s all very generic stuff. Except for a few place-names, there is nothing uniquely Irish here. His depictions of fairy creatures do not demonstrate any Gaelic origin--indeed, the only thing mythic about them are their names and pointed ears.
I’m not saying Colfer should be tied to old traditions, or that he shouldn’t create his own versions of myth, but it hardly makes sense for him to go on and on about the greatness of Irish magic if he's not going to bother actually using any of it. The statement is also incongruous with the fact that his protagonist is named after a character of Greek myth--and a female one, at that, but my annoyance with the misappropriation of the name ‘Artemis’ is my own onus to bear.
There’s also some eco propaganda, mainly in the form of attacking human beings for ruining everything, which once again, is condescending, over-simplified, and adds nothing to the book.
The characters are unremarkable, just clichés taken from buddy cop movies and played straight: no surprising depth, no twists, no masterful strokes of characterization, just what you’d expect from a techno-spy thriller. Which is somewhat unusual, since this is nominally a fantastical book, but the fantasy elements are rarely touched upon. Mostly, the fairies operate with military commando squads and superior technology. There is nothing particularly magical about them.
When magic is used, it tends to be either to be a simple solution to patch over plot conflicts, or a macguffin to cause conflicts in the first place. As I’ve mentioned before, using a magic as a systematic problem-solver tends to make it feel a lot less magical and a lot more like an author’s crutch. This is especially apparent when the magic is portrayed aside equally fantastical technologies that serve roughly the same purpose.
If an author is going to use a lot of convenient bits of magic and technology so they don't have to think much about the plot, I’m going to expect them to provide some sparkling, unusual characters. If they act stupidly or out-of-character in order to move the plot move along conveniently, then that plot should at least be exciting and unpredictable. Colfer's plot is standard. We do get the villain’s point-of-view more often than in many stories, but that just reminds us how Fowl has little more depth than a James Bond villain.
And if I get convenient plot-solving, cliché characters, and a standard story, I need something else to make it worth reading. I had heard that, in this book, the special element was supposed to be humor, but I did not find this book humorous in any way. I’m not saying that it tried to be funny and failed, I’m not saying it was full of bad jokes which I rolled my eyes at. This book did not even attempt to be funny. There was no clever observation, and nothing surprising. Without the ability to surprise you, no author will be able to deliver any humor.
There is a quite long series of repeated descriptions of a dwarf pooping rock explosively, but this was not presented in a humorous or surprising way, it was rather matter-of-fact, but not wry enough to qualify as ‘deadpan’. The entire book is suffused with a tone of irreverence, but the tone never achieves anything. There are no moments of punctuation where the irreverence boils over, it is just a constant, even presence in every scene, description, and bit of dialogue.
It rather reminds me of a common problem of fan-fic authors: instead of being funny, or exciting, or having interesting characters, or surprising plot-twists, they will instead imply that they are doing those things through character reactions and overstated narration. Colfer constantly implies that eventually, he will just pop out and—Bam! Be funny!—but luckily, it proves to be an empty threat.
The problem is, if you spend all your time promising to be funny or exciting, it just makes it more clear that you aren't actually delivering on that promise. It was easy to see what Colfer wanted this book to be (or more delusionally, thought it was), but it was also to see how often and predictably it failed.
The cover is also ugly and cheap, and I came across some errors in the text, but I won’t blame those on the author.
All in all a straightforward, cliche little story. It's a fast read and not insultingly bad, just poorly-structured, predictable, and forgettable. There are some promising concepts there, but they all end up buried under pointless asides, misused jargon, and the constant promises of an interesting story that never arrives.
* * *
And as I wrote this review, I discovered something disturbing: Colfer has been hired to continue the Hitchhiker’s Guide series. I find this terribly confusing: Douglas Adams was one of the most insightful, clever, unpredictable, philosophically sound, satirically acerbic, and all-around-nice-guy writers that I have ever read. Yet here is Colfer: in no regard funny, with no insights to give, characters unremarkable, dialogue predictable, plot convenient, philosophical outlook insulting, unable to capitalize on an interesting concept, and enough of a self-absorbed jerk that he ruins even simple stories by trying to impress people with references to things he knows nothing about.
Mr. Gaiman,
I know you are a Goodreads author, and one of Adams’ fondest fans, so I must ask you: how could you let this happen to me? If there is anyone who should be continuing Adam’s series, it’s Stewart Lee—and if there were any two people who should continue it, it’s two Stewart Lees.
But you are also a great and talented author, and surprisingly enough, capable of being tremendously funny. No one appreciates more than I do the subtle and shocking wit of not writing a very funny book until six novels in, but I love the swerve of building up a career as a serious-minded, somewhat disturbing author of heavily-allusive horror and then suddenly kicking out something really funny.
But I’m losing my train of thought. Dear Mr. Gaiman, this year for Christmas, please use your magical authorial powers to remove Mr. Colfer from any relation to Mr. Adams’ lovely work. If he wants to write his own dull crime fiction with some fairies thrown in to snag people who are waiting for better fantasy books to be published, that’s his business, but the thought that someone would allow him to besmirch one of the great sci fi series of all time makes me want to snatch him up—along with L. Sprague deCamp and August Derleth—and make them all live in a world like the ones they created: a world which is a pale shadow of what it should be, where every conversation is stilted, every person dull, every jest flaccid—where fire is merely lukewarm, spattered blood pepto-pink, sunsets an overwrought cacophony by Thomas Kincaid, where food is ash in your mouth, where every story starts in a 'white room', and where loving a beautiful woman just feels like clutching your own calloused hand in the dark as you play out the long-faded fantasies of a false-nostalgic youth.
My List of Suggested Fantasy Books
If you have actually seen Die Hard, you might recall Hans Gruber, the wealthy, cunning, erudite, European villain (played by Alan ‘Not-Just-Snape’ Rickman). But in this book, the European criminal is the main character, suggesting Colfer views the movie in the same light as Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother:
”Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.”
So, already, we have some interesting choices going on, but many’s the good idea buried by poor execution.
In some ways, telling a good story is like telling an effective lie: you have to know your limits. Like the old writer's adage from Faulker: you've got to kill your darlings. Those overly clever ideas and indulgences have to go, if they don't fit, which they usually don't.
If an author gives in to the urge over-explain or get too fancy, he's going to trip himself up, and Colfer often does. He throws around a lot of terminology, trying to seem knowledgeable to lend credibility to his little fantasy story, but he usually gets it wrong.
He talks about an impact hitting with ‘a ton of G force’, which is nonsense. ‘G Force’ already has a built-in unit of measurement, which is 'Gs', not mass. The process of acceleration can be described in mass, but it would have to be compared to the acceleration of gravity on Earth, or 'Gs', which Colfer fails to do. It would be like describing the speed of a car as ‘fourteen feet'.
He also describes a character as rocketing down a hallway at Mach 1, which is the speed of sound (768 mph). Moving at this speed for a tenth of a second—the amount of time it takes for our brain to react enough to blink—a person would travel 112’, more than the length of the hallway described. Yet he still has his character looking back, adjusting his visor, and fretting about whether he will make it through the door. Not to mention that someone accelerating to Mach 1 within the length of such a hallway would squash them like a bug (at 350 Gs).
He also describes a seasoned bodyguard who refers to the spin kick as pointless and flashy. While jumping spinning kicks may fall into this category, a simple spinning back kick is both an effective and basic tool for a martial artist, and one which is often used in competition in many full-contact disciplines.
Early in the book, he goes to great lengths to describe the computer translation of an unknown language. The entire process is extremely simplified, which is fine, but then, when the translation comes out, not only is it grammatically perfect, it’s all in rhyming couplets!
I always feel frustrated by authors who see the 'Young Adult' label as an excuse to write a thoughtless, cliche book full of simple mistakes. I don't think giving kids badly-researched misinformation is going to turn them into better readers.
And these are all details that could have been easily glossed over. Anyone who knew what the terms meant would have seen they were wrong, and anyone who didn't know them would find them meaningless. One of the benefits of writing Science Fiction or Fantasy is not having to explain yourself, not having to be an expert in everything you talk about. You can just wave your hand and give some mumbo-jumbo and that’s fine, we can suspend our disbelief as long as your story's good.
Which is why, when an author writing a fantastical story tries to inject realism, it's important for them to know what they are talking about, otherwise, they’ll just make themselves look foolish for no good reason. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Colfer tried to come off as well-informed and technical, and failed miserably. A good author doesn’t telegraph their ineptitude, they hide it--but that means a good author must be aware of their limits.
He also goes on a rather condescending diatribe about how Ireland is the most magical place, and Irish mythology is superior to all other myths, because Ireland is the birthplace of all magic. Not only is this a rather insensitive view, it’s also short-sighted, since the book is full of myths which have their basis not in Ireland, but in Scandinavia (dwarves, elves, and trolls). The original people of Ireland were short and dark-haired, with their own complex mythologies. All the redheads of Ireland are descendants of Scandinavian invaders, who brought their myths with them.
But even after this bit of out-of-place nationalism, Colfer never actually ends up using any Irish myth in the story. It’s all very generic stuff. Except for a few place-names, there is nothing uniquely Irish here. His depictions of fairy creatures do not demonstrate any Gaelic origin--indeed, the only thing mythic about them are their names and pointed ears.
I’m not saying Colfer should be tied to old traditions, or that he shouldn’t create his own versions of myth, but it hardly makes sense for him to go on and on about the greatness of Irish magic if he's not going to bother actually using any of it. The statement is also incongruous with the fact that his protagonist is named after a character of Greek myth--and a female one, at that, but my annoyance with the misappropriation of the name ‘Artemis’ is my own onus to bear.
There’s also some eco propaganda, mainly in the form of attacking human beings for ruining everything, which once again, is condescending, over-simplified, and adds nothing to the book.
The characters are unremarkable, just clichés taken from buddy cop movies and played straight: no surprising depth, no twists, no masterful strokes of characterization, just what you’d expect from a techno-spy thriller. Which is somewhat unusual, since this is nominally a fantastical book, but the fantasy elements are rarely touched upon. Mostly, the fairies operate with military commando squads and superior technology. There is nothing particularly magical about them.
When magic is used, it tends to be either to be a simple solution to patch over plot conflicts, or a macguffin to cause conflicts in the first place. As I’ve mentioned before, using a magic as a systematic problem-solver tends to make it feel a lot less magical and a lot more like an author’s crutch. This is especially apparent when the magic is portrayed aside equally fantastical technologies that serve roughly the same purpose.
If an author is going to use a lot of convenient bits of magic and technology so they don't have to think much about the plot, I’m going to expect them to provide some sparkling, unusual characters. If they act stupidly or out-of-character in order to move the plot move along conveniently, then that plot should at least be exciting and unpredictable. Colfer's plot is standard. We do get the villain’s point-of-view more often than in many stories, but that just reminds us how Fowl has little more depth than a James Bond villain.
And if I get convenient plot-solving, cliché characters, and a standard story, I need something else to make it worth reading. I had heard that, in this book, the special element was supposed to be humor, but I did not find this book humorous in any way. I’m not saying that it tried to be funny and failed, I’m not saying it was full of bad jokes which I rolled my eyes at. This book did not even attempt to be funny. There was no clever observation, and nothing surprising. Without the ability to surprise you, no author will be able to deliver any humor.
There is a quite long series of repeated descriptions of a dwarf pooping rock explosively, but this was not presented in a humorous or surprising way, it was rather matter-of-fact, but not wry enough to qualify as ‘deadpan’. The entire book is suffused with a tone of irreverence, but the tone never achieves anything. There are no moments of punctuation where the irreverence boils over, it is just a constant, even presence in every scene, description, and bit of dialogue.
It rather reminds me of a common problem of fan-fic authors: instead of being funny, or exciting, or having interesting characters, or surprising plot-twists, they will instead imply that they are doing those things through character reactions and overstated narration. Colfer constantly implies that eventually, he will just pop out and—Bam! Be funny!—but luckily, it proves to be an empty threat.
The problem is, if you spend all your time promising to be funny or exciting, it just makes it more clear that you aren't actually delivering on that promise. It was easy to see what Colfer wanted this book to be (or more delusionally, thought it was), but it was also to see how often and predictably it failed.
The cover is also ugly and cheap, and I came across some errors in the text, but I won’t blame those on the author.
All in all a straightforward, cliche little story. It's a fast read and not insultingly bad, just poorly-structured, predictable, and forgettable. There are some promising concepts there, but they all end up buried under pointless asides, misused jargon, and the constant promises of an interesting story that never arrives.
* * *
And as I wrote this review, I discovered something disturbing: Colfer has been hired to continue the Hitchhiker’s Guide series. I find this terribly confusing: Douglas Adams was one of the most insightful, clever, unpredictable, philosophically sound, satirically acerbic, and all-around-nice-guy writers that I have ever read. Yet here is Colfer: in no regard funny, with no insights to give, characters unremarkable, dialogue predictable, plot convenient, philosophical outlook insulting, unable to capitalize on an interesting concept, and enough of a self-absorbed jerk that he ruins even simple stories by trying to impress people with references to things he knows nothing about.
Mr. Gaiman,
I know you are a Goodreads author, and one of Adams’ fondest fans, so I must ask you: how could you let this happen to me? If there is anyone who should be continuing Adam’s series, it’s Stewart Lee—and if there were any two people who should continue it, it’s two Stewart Lees.
But you are also a great and talented author, and surprisingly enough, capable of being tremendously funny. No one appreciates more than I do the subtle and shocking wit of not writing a very funny book until six novels in, but I love the swerve of building up a career as a serious-minded, somewhat disturbing author of heavily-allusive horror and then suddenly kicking out something really funny.
But I’m losing my train of thought. Dear Mr. Gaiman, this year for Christmas, please use your magical authorial powers to remove Mr. Colfer from any relation to Mr. Adams’ lovely work. If he wants to write his own dull crime fiction with some fairies thrown in to snag people who are waiting for better fantasy books to be published, that’s his business, but the thought that someone would allow him to besmirch one of the great sci fi series of all time makes me want to snatch him up—along with L. Sprague deCamp and August Derleth—and make them all live in a world like the ones they created: a world which is a pale shadow of what it should be, where every conversation is stilted, every person dull, every jest flaccid—where fire is merely lukewarm, spattered blood pepto-pink, sunsets an overwrought cacophony by Thomas Kincaid, where food is ash in your mouth, where every story starts in a 'white room', and where loving a beautiful woman just feels like clutching your own calloused hand in the dark as you play out the long-faded fantasies of a false-nostalgic youth.
My List of Suggested Fantasy Books
November 24, 2021
"I want to know everything there is to know about one Artemis Fowl"
It has been nearly a complete month of just Artemis Fowl! When I initially read this first book of the eight book series, I gave a 3-star rating, hoping to do a review later. I loved the story, but I didn't feel like giving a solid 4-star rating. But now, here I am again, after making it through the entire series, and bumping that original rating to 4.
Looking back at this first book, I think I evaluated the book too critically, while focusing a little too much on the over-powered characters and some shortcoming in their development. But after a couple of books down the line, I decided to imagine the story as kind of a cartoon, and it made all the difference! After all, this book was not intended for adults.
Despite continuous havoc and restless scheming, there was hardly a single page in Artemis Fowl that didn't make me laugh. To be honest, I loved Holly a lot more than Artemis, but the duo made a fascinating protagonist combination. Rest of the characters were equally hilarious as well.
A light, entertaining read that will keep you laughing through and through, no matter how old you are.
It has been nearly a complete month of just Artemis Fowl! When I initially read this first book of the eight book series, I gave a 3-star rating, hoping to do a review later. I loved the story, but I didn't feel like giving a solid 4-star rating. But now, here I am again, after making it through the entire series, and bumping that original rating to 4.
Looking back at this first book, I think I evaluated the book too critically, while focusing a little too much on the over-powered characters and some shortcoming in their development. But after a couple of books down the line, I decided to imagine the story as kind of a cartoon, and it made all the difference! After all, this book was not intended for adults.
Despite continuous havoc and restless scheming, there was hardly a single page in Artemis Fowl that didn't make me laugh. To be honest, I loved Holly a lot more than Artemis, but the duo made a fascinating protagonist combination. Rest of the characters were equally hilarious as well.
A light, entertaining read that will keep you laughing through and through, no matter how old you are.
May 7, 2012
Want to meet the guy who's smart enough to take over the world? Well he's twelve years old. And his name is Artemis Fowl. I have two words for this book: GREAT FUN.
If you are at all young at heart or you just want to read something different from your usual fare, then check out this book. Artemis will keep you entertained with his hijinks. At the age of 12, Artemis is keeping his family afloat as they suffer from grief at the disappearance of Artemis Fowl, Sr, his father. His mother has retreated into delusions and barely leaves her room. The family is on the brink of bankruptcy, but not for long, if Artemis has anything to do with it. Assisted by his faithful bodyguard, a very large, deadly, intimidating man would do anything for him, Artemis decides to steal his very own fairy to hold for ransom: his very own pot of gold. He doesn't realize that Holly is just as dangerous as he is.
When LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police reconnaisance), the covert Fairy organization policing the faery creatures that have retreated underground to get away from humans, comes looking for Holly, he has to fight off a siege on his house of supernatural creatures such as a troll (don't want to be in their way), a dwarf with flatulence from ingesting rocks and soil when he burrows his way through the earth, and a centaur genius who is LEPrecon's equivalent to MI6's Q, and a whole slew of highly-trained deadly fairies.
I picked this book up on a lark, looking for something different to read. And boy was I rewarded. This book will make you laugh and keep you enthralled for hours. Although this is perfectly suitable for a young teen or a pre-teen, it's also sophisticated for an adult to enjoy, and a must read for lovers of Faery.
If you are at all young at heart or you just want to read something different from your usual fare, then check out this book. Artemis will keep you entertained with his hijinks. At the age of 12, Artemis is keeping his family afloat as they suffer from grief at the disappearance of Artemis Fowl, Sr, his father. His mother has retreated into delusions and barely leaves her room. The family is on the brink of bankruptcy, but not for long, if Artemis has anything to do with it. Assisted by his faithful bodyguard, a very large, deadly, intimidating man would do anything for him, Artemis decides to steal his very own fairy to hold for ransom: his very own pot of gold. He doesn't realize that Holly is just as dangerous as he is.
When LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police reconnaisance), the covert Fairy organization policing the faery creatures that have retreated underground to get away from humans, comes looking for Holly, he has to fight off a siege on his house of supernatural creatures such as a troll (don't want to be in their way), a dwarf with flatulence from ingesting rocks and soil when he burrows his way through the earth, and a centaur genius who is LEPrecon's equivalent to MI6's Q, and a whole slew of highly-trained deadly fairies.
I picked this book up on a lark, looking for something different to read. And boy was I rewarded. This book will make you laugh and keep you enthralled for hours. Although this is perfectly suitable for a young teen or a pre-teen, it's also sophisticated for an adult to enjoy, and a must read for lovers of Faery.
August 13, 2017
Artemis Fowl: Artemis Fowl, Book 1
By Eoin Colfer
Narrated By Nathaniel Parker
I borrowed this book from the library. I figured everyone in the world has read this but me and thought I would catch up. What a hoot! Loved it! I don't know what I thought it was going to be but I didn't expect a 12 year old genius villain! My goodness, I thought it was great! The fairies, dwarves, trolls, and the silly things that happen, I giggled so much. It was so silly I can see why kids love this book. I am definitely going to read more. If my grandkids haven't read these I am going to tell them about it. Funny!!! The narrator was wonderful with all the variety of voices from the fairy girls to dwarves. Each different and interesting, wonderful job!
By Eoin Colfer
Narrated By Nathaniel Parker
I borrowed this book from the library. I figured everyone in the world has read this but me and thought I would catch up. What a hoot! Loved it! I don't know what I thought it was going to be but I didn't expect a 12 year old genius villain! My goodness, I thought it was great! The fairies, dwarves, trolls, and the silly things that happen, I giggled so much. It was so silly I can see why kids love this book. I am definitely going to read more. If my grandkids haven't read these I am going to tell them about it. Funny!!! The narrator was wonderful with all the variety of voices from the fairy girls to dwarves. Each different and interesting, wonderful job!
October 11, 2018
99c Kindle sale, Oct. 11, 2018. A solid, amusing start to this YA fantasy series, about a twelve-year-old millionaire evil genius. Okay, he's not really evil, but he is into criminal heists, especially since the family wealth is gone, his father has disappeared, and his mother is mentally ill, out of touch with reality. So Artemis, having used his brilliant mind to figure out that fairies are real, decides to restore the family fortune by kidnapping a fairy and holding him or her for for ransom. Fairy gold, that's the ticket!
Now Artemis and his assistants are up against the military and police forces of faerie. The resulting conflicts are both funny and tension-filled. It's kind of like Mission: Impossible with a magical element and a hidden society of magical folk.
Recommended! I've read the first four books (got them in a paperback set) and enjoyed all of them.
Now Artemis and his assistants are up against the military and police forces of faerie. The resulting conflicts are both funny and tension-filled. It's kind of like Mission: Impossible with a magical element and a hidden society of magical folk.
Recommended! I've read the first four books (got them in a paperback set) and enjoyed all of them.
January 16, 2014
From the get-go it appears Artemis Fowl is going to be about Artemis Fowl, a criminal boy genius with Sherlock Holmes-like powers of deduction, but then bomb squad-esque faeries take over the story and we end up spending just as much time, if not more, reading about them. That's fine since they're interesting and their story moves with a good dash of fun and excitement.
This is another of those books with a redeemable bad-guy protagonist. We shouldn't, but we do root for him, at least in some way, shape or form. In the natural (or "typical") way of things, that would mean the antagonists are good guys, who we're hoping won't succeed, at least not 100%. I haven't tired of this formula just yet, plus Colfer has handled it well and crafted a fast, short read that doesn't give you much downtime to reflect on any potential faults.
I found this book to be very similar to Jonathan Stroud's The Amulet of Samarkand with its snarky protagonist, its magic-in-a-modern-setting, its fantastical creatures and its infusion of light-hearted comedy (Things slowing down due to necessary exposition? Throw in a fart joke!).
You can tell Colfer did a bit of research into mythology and magical beings, as we see some creature attributes from the old traditions. For instance, I like his portrayal of a burrowing dwarf.
He also had fun with meshing the modern aspects with these old notions, technology with mythology. I've not always been a big fan of that genre (parts of the Ralph Bakshi movie "Wizards" annoyed me the first time I saw it), but Colfer balances and blends the two together pretty well, almost seamlessly.
Rating Note: This was such a strong 4 that I decided to go with 5 stars.
This is another of those books with a redeemable bad-guy protagonist. We shouldn't, but we do root for him, at least in some way, shape or form. In the natural (or "typical") way of things, that would mean the antagonists are good guys, who we're hoping won't succeed, at least not 100%. I haven't tired of this formula just yet, plus Colfer has handled it well and crafted a fast, short read that doesn't give you much downtime to reflect on any potential faults.
I found this book to be very similar to Jonathan Stroud's The Amulet of Samarkand with its snarky protagonist, its magic-in-a-modern-setting, its fantastical creatures and its infusion of light-hearted comedy (Things slowing down due to necessary exposition? Throw in a fart joke!).
You can tell Colfer did a bit of research into mythology and magical beings, as we see some creature attributes from the old traditions. For instance, I like his portrayal of a burrowing dwarf.
He also had fun with meshing the modern aspects with these old notions, technology with mythology. I've not always been a big fan of that genre (parts of the Ralph Bakshi movie "Wizards" annoyed me the first time I saw it), but Colfer balances and blends the two together pretty well, almost seamlessly.
Rating Note: This was such a strong 4 that I decided to go with 5 stars.
August 25, 2020
For some odd reason, I've been avoiding reading this book (or the whole series) despite it being well-beloved in general.
Why? I mean, I like a good heist novel and the cockier and the more headstrong the character, the more interesting I find it. So this should be right up my alley, right?
Well, it's YA. MG, even. Okay. So that's a big thing.
Even so, I thought I ought to finally GIVE IT A CHANCE. After all, wasn't there a big movie was made for it?
*crickets* *embarrassed shuffling over at Disney* *more crickets*
OKAY. So my desire to read this is no predicated only on sheer stubborn doggedness. I want to say I did it. That's it.
And so I read it and didn't think it was all that bad. Some fun bits. Fairly reasonable amounts of handwavium but that's okay even in the terms of plot because it's just meant to be FUN.
It wasn't bad. Flashy, genre-bending SF/Fantasy with interesting if simply-portrayed rules in a mythical book. And Action. Lots of action.
It's on par with that old movie Spy Kids. Just add spy tech to an Arsene Lupin kid, throw high-tech fae cops at him, and stir.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get my girl to read it past a few pages. This just had to be for me, this time.
Why? I mean, I like a good heist novel and the cockier and the more headstrong the character, the more interesting I find it. So this should be right up my alley, right?
Well, it's YA. MG, even. Okay. So that's a big thing.
Even so, I thought I ought to finally GIVE IT A CHANCE. After all, wasn't there a big movie was made for it?
*crickets* *embarrassed shuffling over at Disney* *more crickets*
OKAY. So my desire to read this is no predicated only on sheer stubborn doggedness. I want to say I did it. That's it.
And so I read it and didn't think it was all that bad. Some fun bits. Fairly reasonable amounts of handwavium but that's okay even in the terms of plot because it's just meant to be FUN.
It wasn't bad. Flashy, genre-bending SF/Fantasy with interesting if simply-portrayed rules in a mythical book. And Action. Lots of action.
It's on par with that old movie Spy Kids. Just add spy tech to an Arsene Lupin kid, throw high-tech fae cops at him, and stir.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get my girl to read it past a few pages. This just had to be for me, this time.
September 16, 2020
Okay, so this is my second re-read of this series. I think? I'm pretty sure I listened to the audiobook beforehand so diving into the KU ebook version was a bit of an eye opener. It was like this time around I just saw things I didn't hear or see before. Which makes re-reads all the more fun because things start clicking into place.
Now Artemis, he's an interesting guy who finds himself in trouble. I mean he's a genius so he probably knew all the outcomes before they even happened. Which for me, would be highly useful because I would never know what's going to come at me.
Besides him, you meet Butler and Juliet. They are brother and sister and sort of look after Artemis and his mom. Speaking of her, she's not doing too well and I was just intrigued as to what happened to her. I honestly felt bad for her and Artemis because she thought he was her dad and husband way before she mentioned his own name.
Back to the siblings, Butler is very handy when it comes to protecting Artemis. He's also kind of scary and I hope to never meet him. Then there's Juliet, and she was just simple adorable when Holly influenced her. Oh lord, the whole tv thing had me dying.
Ah, speaking of Holly. She was kidnapped by Artemis for some unknown reason but things start to click for her when he uses her own rules against her. Definitely made things a bit more interesting because of how he knew where to look for the book and how to get everything else.
Since it has been a while since I last read this series, I'm super excited to see what I remember will happen and what else I will see differently.
_____________________________________
Not going to lie.. this book has been on my radar for a while.. but once I saw that it was becoming a movie... well I jumped on this book quicker than a bottle of wine being uncorked!
Artemis Fowl was such an interesting and enjoyable book. Artemis is basically your best nemesis ever! He's brilliant, evil as fudge, and a ruthless bastard all wrapped into one! Oh, did I forget to mentions he's also en evil millionaire mastermind?!?! He's like the Doctor Evil and the Mini Me all combined into one person! I loved it!
Artemis, is bad, but soooooo freaking lovable. Sometimes you need a good villain to love - and boy did I love his character! I loved all of the magic too throughout this book. Maybe I'm on a magic high from the Children of Blood and Bone book but this book was such a nice followup!
Overall, the book was amazing! I loved Holly, even though she was captured by Artemis.. but damn those fairies can be sneaky af. I can't wait to dive into the second book because I NEED MORE FROM ARTEMIS! I can't accept that the book is over right now!!
Now Artemis, he's an interesting guy who finds himself in trouble. I mean he's a genius so he probably knew all the outcomes before they even happened. Which for me, would be highly useful because I would never know what's going to come at me.
Besides him, you meet Butler and Juliet. They are brother and sister and sort of look after Artemis and his mom. Speaking of her, she's not doing too well and I was just intrigued as to what happened to her. I honestly felt bad for her and Artemis because she thought he was her dad and husband way before she mentioned his own name.
Back to the siblings, Butler is very handy when it comes to protecting Artemis. He's also kind of scary and I hope to never meet him. Then there's Juliet, and she was just simple adorable when Holly influenced her. Oh lord, the whole tv thing had me dying.
Ah, speaking of Holly. She was kidnapped by Artemis for some unknown reason but things start to click for her when he uses her own rules against her. Definitely made things a bit more interesting because of how he knew where to look for the book and how to get everything else.
Since it has been a while since I last read this series, I'm super excited to see what I remember will happen and what else I will see differently.
_____________________________________
Not going to lie.. this book has been on my radar for a while.. but once I saw that it was becoming a movie... well I jumped on this book quicker than a bottle of wine being uncorked!
Artemis Fowl was such an interesting and enjoyable book. Artemis is basically your best nemesis ever! He's brilliant, evil as fudge, and a ruthless bastard all wrapped into one! Oh, did I forget to mentions he's also en evil millionaire mastermind?!?! He's like the Doctor Evil and the Mini Me all combined into one person! I loved it!
Artemis, is bad, but soooooo freaking lovable. Sometimes you need a good villain to love - and boy did I love his character! I loved all of the magic too throughout this book. Maybe I'm on a magic high from the Children of Blood and Bone book but this book was such a nice followup!
Overall, the book was amazing! I loved Holly, even though she was captured by Artemis.. but damn those fairies can be sneaky af. I can't wait to dive into the second book because I NEED MORE FROM ARTEMIS! I can't accept that the book is over right now!!
March 11, 2017
SPOILER FREE review if you will not open the spoiler tags
WORLD-BUILDING
All the fairies, elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls live in the underground world. This world has its own technology which is beyond our comprehension and have their own laws.
CHARACTERS
Artemis Fowl [ of course ]
(Doesn't this name sounds Awesome!!!)
No need to say, he is a super genius criminal. You know how old he is? Just 12 YEARS! Doesn't it sound odd. An adolescent, with such intelligence who is devoted to crime. But that's what makes this book different in my opinion.
I loved him. I loved how he is written. I loved his every move. I loved his thinking. OMG what should I say more that I loved him sooo much! Probably my most favourite male protagonist I have ever read.
Butler
His bodyguard. He is the most trusted and faithful guy of Artemis Fowl. And also his partner in crime. Loved him also.
Holly Short
She is an elf and a captain in LEP (police in the underground World)
Foaly
A centaur. He is an inventor. Almost the underground police uses his weapons and thinking.
He is written as a wise character. But sometimes he got on my nerves. Overall I liked him.
OVERVIEW
Fowls are the legendary criminals. They do every kind of illegal things for making money of course. But their fortune isn't for soo long. By the fault of Artemis Fowl 1, Protagonist's father, fortune of Fowl's Family gets away. He disappears in an attack. Due to this, Protagonist's Mother, becomes a mental patient.
Artemis Fowl 2 vows to regain the family's fortune. By a very unique way:
THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE
=>I couldn't like the writing style. I don't know why it seems to me that author was too hard to choose words. I didn't face wording problems while reading my recent books. But this was different. Anyways, different authors have different styles. Maybe I felt that because, this book is written by an Irish writer.
=>
Overall , I enjoyed this book! It is full of action and excitement. Author will not let you to take rest till the ending.
I hope I will enjoy this series as much as this one.
Thanks for your attention!
(^__^)
December 31, 2016
How does one describe Artemis Fowl? Various psychiatrists have tried and failed.
WORLD-BUILDING
All the fairies, elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls live in the underground world. This world has its own technology which is beyond our comprehension and have their own laws.
CHARACTERS
Artemis Fowl [ of course ]
(Doesn't this name sounds Awesome!!!)
No need to say, he is a super genius criminal. You know how old he is? Just 12 YEARS! Doesn't it sound odd. An adolescent, with such intelligence who is devoted to crime. But that's what makes this book different in my opinion.
I loved him. I loved how he is written. I loved his every move. I loved his thinking. OMG what should I say more that I loved him sooo much! Probably my most favourite male protagonist I have ever read.
Butler
His bodyguard. He is the most trusted and faithful guy of Artemis Fowl. And also his partner in crime. Loved him also.
Holly Short
She is an elf and a captain in LEP (police in the underground World)
Foaly
A centaur. He is an inventor. Almost the underground police uses his weapons and thinking.
He is written as a wise character. But sometimes he got on my nerves. Overall I liked him.
OVERVIEW
Fowls are the legendary criminals. They do every kind of illegal things for making money of course. But their fortune isn't for soo long. By the fault of Artemis Fowl 1, Protagonist's father, fortune of Fowl's Family gets away. He disappears in an attack. Due to this, Protagonist's Mother, becomes a mental patient.
Artemis Fowl 2 vows to regain the family's fortune. By a very unique way:
THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE
=>I couldn't like the writing style. I don't know why it seems to me that author was too hard to choose words. I didn't face wording problems while reading my recent books. But this was different. Anyways, different authors have different styles. Maybe I felt that because, this book is written by an Irish writer.
=>
Overall , I enjoyed this book! It is full of action and excitement. Author will not let you to take rest till the ending.
I hope I will enjoy this series as much as this one.
Thanks for your attention!
(^__^)
December 31, 2016
May 13, 2008
Artemis Fowl, though entertaining and often well told, is one of those books that has bound itself with the shackles of pandering to a perceived audience and thus will never rise above a certain level. For example, the dwarf character defeats his enemies with the help of his terribly powerful flatulence more than once. The whole race tunnels with the power of poop. The main faerie character, Holly, is a girl trying to break her way through a glass ceiling that no one seems to notice throughout the book except to note that she has broken it. The main character, although a bit shallowly described is likable and fun. However, he would be much more believable if the author had chosen to make him just a few years older. All of these come from the author's unnecessarily pandering to the children who will presumably comprise the majority of his audience. In addition, there is a pretty large amount of environmentalist agenda in this rather short book. I have no problem with saving the whales, but the many asides concerning pollution and extinction seemed completely out of place. In addition, although it sounds insane to ask for a rational and coherent system behind a hidden race of faeries, I believe this is one of the lines that separates good fantasy from run-of-the-mill fantasy. This is a test Colfer fails. His system of magic and faeries is incoherent and sometimes seems inconsistent. At the very least it is ill-explained. Despite all of these shortcomings, the world is very imaginative, and the story is fun. The characters are all likable for the most part, if often shallow. Colfer's storytelling method adds enjoyment to the book in that you can enjoy the small victories of both sides of the conflict. Overall I would recommend this book only to those looking for light, fun, but overall forgettable fantasy.
March 24, 2014
Well, looks like my 14-year-old was right--it was as bad as I remembered. The concept was nice, but terrible execution and the plot got too muddled in the middle. It tries to be funny but fails. Epically.
And Artemis struck as a wee sexist. He doesn't want to hurt a girl because she reminds him of his mother and his friend, Juliet. The author might be trying to show that Artemis is actually a nice guy, but the way I see it, there are only two options: Oedipus Complex or sexist jerk.
It's gotta be one of them.
If you want a fun middle-grade book with mythology elements, read Percy Jackson instead. At least you won't feel talked down to.
And Artemis struck as a wee sexist. He doesn't want to hurt a girl because she reminds him of his mother and his friend, Juliet. The author might be trying to show that Artemis is actually a nice guy, but the way I see it, there are only two options: Oedipus Complex or sexist jerk.
It's gotta be one of them.
If you want a fun middle-grade book with mythology elements, read Percy Jackson instead. At least you won't feel talked down to.
August 14, 2021
3 Silver Stars
with Golden Sparks
Warning:
it could be a Ranting review, slightly
so if you're a hardcore Fowl fan, don't continue.
It was interesting, funny, I liked it, but I couldn't exactly feel connected to this story for some reasons:
first & most important one; I had a problem with Artemis being a boy. (I only knew the character was a boy when I started, because of the cover, & yet I doubted a few times after that) I think you might say could be a unisex name though it's mostly used for girls, but can be used for boys (noble hunter), but as much as I agree to that, I've grown up with the myths of Artemis goddess of the moon,
also Artemis' more masculine name is Artemus.
so... yeah, I still had problem with it. (but going through the series & knowing them more, it's solved.)
(though, the author himself knew as he explained a few times. & I liked that fun)
2) I don't think about stories of fairies or leprechauns. in other word, it's not my favourite subject to read about in the books. I like to see them in a Magic stories, but not a novel completely about them. tho this series probably is the most interesting, realistic & funny one I've ever read about them
3) Artemis was annoying & arrogant. (but funny too, sometimes. & this side of him more revealed later, I started to like him in book 4 & 5.)
4) & he was kind of a criminal mastermind. I don't like criminal protagonists (or the ones with very dark secrets/flaws in general) I can't sympathize with them.
either way, I don't have any favourite character here. (Butler was interesting tho)
updated after book 3:
5) the jumpy narration telling what everyone's thinking (even for the not important characters) was confusing.
6) & it was just been dragged over not important events, which wasn't necessary if they weren't there or I just could tell.)
7) there are too many explaining about technologies & how elf techs actually works, as much as it's interesting, I mostly skip them after I got their general idea/performance.
I was probably a little old for this & also had high expectations because of the hype. maybe if I discovered this myself & in my teen years, I would enjoy it more.
I didn't like the first three books, but after 4, I really could find my interest toward the series. I like Artemis, Butler too, Mulch & Foli was fun, the story narrating fun in between was hilarious.
-
Plot: ★★★/5
World Building/Premises: ★★(★)/5
Characters: ★★★/5
Written style: ★★★(★)/5
General idea: ★★★/5
with Golden Sparks
Warning:
it could be a Ranting review, slightly
so if you're a hardcore Fowl fan, don't continue.
It was interesting, funny, I liked it, but I couldn't exactly feel connected to this story for some reasons:
first & most important one; I had a problem with Artemis being a boy. (I only knew the character was a boy when I started, because of the cover, & yet I doubted a few times after that) I think you might say could be a unisex name though it's mostly used for girls, but can be used for boys (noble hunter), but as much as I agree to that, I've grown up with the myths of Artemis goddess of the moon,
also Artemis' more masculine name is Artemus.
so... yeah, I still had problem with it. (but going through the series & knowing them more, it's solved.)
(though, the author himself knew as he explained a few times. & I liked that fun)
2) I don't think about stories of fairies or leprechauns. in other word, it's not my favourite subject to read about in the books. I like to see them in a Magic stories, but not a novel completely about them. tho this series probably is the most interesting, realistic & funny one I've ever read about them
3) Artemis was annoying & arrogant. (but funny too, sometimes. & this side of him more revealed later, I started to like him in book 4 & 5.)
4) & he was kind of a criminal mastermind. I don't like criminal protagonists (or the ones with very dark secrets/flaws in general) I can't sympathize with them.
either way, I don't have any favourite character here. (Butler was interesting tho)
updated after book 3:
5) the jumpy narration telling what everyone's thinking (even for the not important characters) was confusing.
6) & it was just been dragged over not important events, which wasn't necessary if they weren't there or I just could tell.)
7) there are too many explaining about technologies & how elf techs actually works, as much as it's interesting, I mostly skip them after I got their general idea/performance.
I was probably a little old for this & also had high expectations because of the hype. maybe if I discovered this myself & in my teen years, I would enjoy it more.
I didn't like the first three books, but after 4, I really could find my interest toward the series. I like Artemis, Butler too, Mulch & Foli was fun, the story narrating fun in between was hilarious.
-
Plot: ★★★/5
World Building/Premises: ★★(★)/5
Characters: ★★★/5
Written style: ★★★(★)/5
General idea: ★★★/5
July 12, 2020
Great fun – thoroughly enjoyable to reread.
September 11, 2022
Well what to say, This book definitely had a younger audience in mind, but I still really enjoyed Holly. I definitely found myself on the side AGAINST Artemis right away. Artemis' attitude and the way that he talks to and treats others made him really hard to like. I wasn't a big fan of his.. Any redemption was too little too late for me unfortunately.
The created world IS interesting, but it's not a series that I will rush to continue.
3 Stars
The created world IS interesting, but it's not a series that I will rush to continue.
3 Stars
February 26, 2023
"A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old."
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer is my favorite book ever. EVER! I read it for the first time when I was fourteen years old and have been reading the series ever since. I've re-read the book over and over again. I can't even remember how many times I have read it but by now this book feels like an old friend and it's just as amazing as when I read it the first time. Now that I've re-read it once again, I think it's time for a review!
When Holly Short gets abducted by Artemis Fowl II, a child prodigy from Ireland because he wants to ransom her for fairy gold, the book really gets going. The fairies are amazed by everything that Artemis knows about the People but they're definitely not giving up on Holly and are determined to rescue her and keep the gold in the meantime. But it seems that Artemis is always two steps ahead of them...
Artemis sort of is an antagonist. He's no hero, and as is stated in the book: you can't romanticize him. This is absolutely true. And yet, I can't help but root for him. But on the other hand I also end up rooting for the fairies, especially Holly. Because she's so badass. You kind of just want both Artemis and Holly to win, whatever they're fighting for. Artemis definitely is a one of a kind character. I have never read about any character like him. He's twelve years old and a prodigy. No matter how many times I read this book, I'm always blown away by his genius (of should I say Eoin Colfer's genius?). In any case, he's probably my favorite fictional character ever created and I'm pretty sure it will never ever change.
Holly is also one of my favorite characters. I love everything she stands for and even though there aren't that many female characters in his books, when there is, you can bet she'll end up having a very strong personality and being able to kick butt. So, yeah... that's Holly. She may be small but she can kick anyone's ass and is the first female on the LEPrecon squad + she has a feisty and reckless personality. Gotta love her!
Personally, I think that this book has the greatest set of characters ever. Artemis and Holly aside, we also have Butler, Juliet, Commander Root and Foaly. I just love Butler. He always has Artemis's back and to me, he feels more like a father to Artemis than anything else. Juliet is Butlers teenage sister and she's a riot! Commander Root is simply epic. You definitely don't want to get on his bad side and Foaly is just brilliance itself. He's a centaur, a bit crazy and I love his wit!
So do I have to say more? Artemis Fowl is a brilliant book. That's the way it just is. Eoin Colfer writes fast-paced, witty and sometimes even touching scenes. Is it any wonder he's my favorite author ever?
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer is my favorite book ever. EVER! I read it for the first time when I was fourteen years old and have been reading the series ever since. I've re-read the book over and over again. I can't even remember how many times I have read it but by now this book feels like an old friend and it's just as amazing as when I read it the first time. Now that I've re-read it once again, I think it's time for a review!
When Holly Short gets abducted by Artemis Fowl II, a child prodigy from Ireland because he wants to ransom her for fairy gold, the book really gets going. The fairies are amazed by everything that Artemis knows about the People but they're definitely not giving up on Holly and are determined to rescue her and keep the gold in the meantime. But it seems that Artemis is always two steps ahead of them...
Artemis sort of is an antagonist. He's no hero, and as is stated in the book: you can't romanticize him. This is absolutely true. And yet, I can't help but root for him. But on the other hand I also end up rooting for the fairies, especially Holly. Because she's so badass. You kind of just want both Artemis and Holly to win, whatever they're fighting for. Artemis definitely is a one of a kind character. I have never read about any character like him. He's twelve years old and a prodigy. No matter how many times I read this book, I'm always blown away by his genius (of should I say Eoin Colfer's genius?). In any case, he's probably my favorite fictional character ever created and I'm pretty sure it will never ever change.
Holly is also one of my favorite characters. I love everything she stands for and even though there aren't that many female characters in his books, when there is, you can bet she'll end up having a very strong personality and being able to kick butt. So, yeah... that's Holly. She may be small but she can kick anyone's ass and is the first female on the LEPrecon squad + she has a feisty and reckless personality. Gotta love her!
Personally, I think that this book has the greatest set of characters ever. Artemis and Holly aside, we also have Butler, Juliet, Commander Root and Foaly. I just love Butler. He always has Artemis's back and to me, he feels more like a father to Artemis than anything else. Juliet is Butlers teenage sister and she's a riot! Commander Root is simply epic. You definitely don't want to get on his bad side and Foaly is just brilliance itself. He's a centaur, a bit crazy and I love his wit!
So do I have to say more? Artemis Fowl is a brilliant book. That's the way it just is. Eoin Colfer writes fast-paced, witty and sometimes even touching scenes. Is it any wonder he's my favorite author ever?
February 19, 2020
Ok so my friend forced me to read this and, ummm... WHERE WAS THIS SERIES WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL bro I would've been obsessed with this shit. This was really fun, and that ending honestly made me smile. I now want to read the rest of the series and see this little bastard grow up :,)
December 13, 2020
I had to Dnf it. No offense if you like this it. This is not a bad book. It had a fairly interesting plot. Mind you, it had a very interesting plot that i could NOT READ. I tried, i honestly did. I loved some of the characters, and the world was intriguing. But my mind could not grasp it.
I asked myself "Why am i reading this book?" I had no answer. The writing style was not for me at all, and while the plot was well written, i did not understand it. And at one point, i was reading the words, and was not even taking in the information. I found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. No interest in reading this book or continuing on with the series. I know there are a lot of stans, and my friend (who has very good taste in books), is obsessed. I'm not.
Sorry Artemis. I'll stick to the Greek goddess.
I asked myself "Why am i reading this book?" I had no answer. The writing style was not for me at all, and while the plot was well written, i did not understand it. And at one point, i was reading the words, and was not even taking in the information. I found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. found myself reading the sentence over and over again. No interest in reading this book or continuing on with the series. I know there are a lot of stans, and my friend (who has very good taste in books), is obsessed. I'm not.
Sorry Artemis. I'll stick to the Greek goddess.
August 25, 2020
Reading this started out as a dare. *lol* I had heard about it when the movie came out, then discovered one of my colleagues and her partner are big fans, but somehow the idea of a child master-thief somehow involved with magical creatures such as goblins and faeries and dwarves just didn't appeal to me. I can't even remember if I ever even only saw the movie trailer. But then there was this bet and ... *sighs*
12-year-old Artemis Fowl II lives in a huge manor with his mentally unstable mother. His father has been "lost at sea" for a while now and the boy's gotten it into his head to "save the family". You see, having a manor isn't enough, the family was once almost obscenely rich so he wants to get everything back to those days. The problem? Well, amongst other things, the family got rich off stealing, smuggling and other various shady enterprises. They even had managed to become "legit" but didn't like it. So what is this supposed mastermind's plan? To catch a faerie, translate and read its book to learn of The People and eventually cash in on the famous gold of legends.
Maybe it's because of his youth, but he's often underestimated, and if he needs violence ... well, that's what Butler is for.
One has to hand it to him, he wasn't going about it willy-nilly and he had done his homework. Nevertheless, some things do go wrong regardless and the siege of Fowl Manor turns into a sort of war.
Will Artemis outsmart everyone or be outsmarted in turn? And what about his parents?
Within the first two chapters I was rolling my eyes HARD. You see, I know that many publishers and even authors seem to think that their audience consists of idiots. While that might often be the case, especially amongst adults, I have always held the belief that most kids can handle complicated plots, more than three characters in any given scene, and "normal" writing (which is to say anything that is not meant for the mentally challenged or toddlers). However, some (my buddy-reader even says "most") middle-grade books are deliberately kept simple because either the author or publisher or everyone involved just didn't believe in the audience. Frankly, I find it insulting. I also see a geographical difference.
Anyway, I'm addressing this problem because this book seemed to suffer from the same misguided / insulting assumption. The funny thing about it is that there were even some logic errors and plot holes that, yes, a kid would/could spot.
It did get better once the plot was often replaced by action so I am considering whether the author needed some time to get the ball rolling as it were. Not sure that really explains away logic errors and plot holes though.
Nevertheless, I was entertained enough and this wouldn't be the first series (no matter which age group it's aimed at) where the first volume is the least good. The world building was suggestive enough to have me muse about certain things though, such as . So that was good. And the writing wasn't BAD.
Nothing too impressive and certainly not original but despite the rocky start, it was fun enough, I guess, and at least the brat wasn't the cardboard cut-out good boy with an enormous IQ that can do no wrong.
12-year-old Artemis Fowl II lives in a huge manor with his mentally unstable mother. His father has been "lost at sea" for a while now and the boy's gotten it into his head to "save the family". You see, having a manor isn't enough, the family was once almost obscenely rich so he wants to get everything back to those days. The problem? Well, amongst other things, the family got rich off stealing, smuggling and other various shady enterprises. They even had managed to become "legit" but didn't like it. So what is this supposed mastermind's plan? To catch a faerie, translate and read its book to learn of The People and eventually cash in on the famous gold of legends.
Maybe it's because of his youth, but he's often underestimated, and if he needs violence ... well, that's what Butler is for.
One has to hand it to him, he wasn't going about it willy-nilly and he had done his homework. Nevertheless, some things do go wrong regardless and the siege of Fowl Manor turns into a sort of war.
Will Artemis outsmart everyone or be outsmarted in turn? And what about his parents?
Within the first two chapters I was rolling my eyes HARD. You see, I know that many publishers and even authors seem to think that their audience consists of idiots. While that might often be the case, especially amongst adults, I have always held the belief that most kids can handle complicated plots, more than three characters in any given scene, and "normal" writing (which is to say anything that is not meant for the mentally challenged or toddlers). However, some (my buddy-reader even says "most") middle-grade books are deliberately kept simple because either the author or publisher or everyone involved just didn't believe in the audience. Frankly, I find it insulting. I also see a geographical difference.
Anyway, I'm addressing this problem because this book seemed to suffer from the same misguided / insulting assumption. The funny thing about it is that there were even some logic errors and plot holes that, yes, a kid would/could spot.
It did get better once the plot was often replaced by action so I am considering whether the author needed some time to get the ball rolling as it were. Not sure that really explains away logic errors and plot holes though.
Nevertheless, I was entertained enough and this wouldn't be the first series (no matter which age group it's aimed at) where the first volume is the least good. The world building was suggestive enough to have me muse about certain things though, such as . So that was good. And the writing wasn't BAD.
Nothing too impressive and certainly not original but despite the rocky start, it was fun enough, I guess, and at least the brat wasn't the cardboard cut-out good boy with an enormous IQ that can do no wrong.
March 9, 2023
Just as the Harry Potter books helped me bond with my oldest son; Artemis Fowl helped me bond with my middle son, a brilliant, but infamous brooder. Early on, his pediatrician said that he was too smart for his own good, and that he would bear watching. I immediately began to worry because I was not gifted with any significant measure of intelligence and so in finding Artemis, there was a common ground. Artemis Fowl is a juvenile criminal who believes that he himself is heartless and diabolical, but in reality, he is a child with too much guile and almost non-existent adult supervision. Since his father is a criminal mastermind who was abducted by the Russian Mafiya (Colfer’s spelling), Artemis feels the responsibility to establish his own fortune in order to prove to his absent father that he is worthy of carrying on with the family business. Artemis has decided that by abducting a Leprechaun, it is the surest and quickest way to acquire the “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” Things do not go as expected and I enjoyed re-reading these adventures. 4 Grey Geeks or 4 stars for Goodreads.
February 19, 2019
Partially inspired by the scene where they translate the fairy book and it ends up rhyming (not how linguistics work at all) and because I felt this should get an unique review I've decided to write it as a collection of bad poetry.
Artemis Fowl
Artemis Fowl, more like Artemis Fail
I prefer Kaz Brekker and Victor Vale
He has two character traits, he's not very dimensional
Just a momma's boi and mastermind criminal
The Plot
They said this was clever
I don't think it was ever
It is an illusion, like a magician vanishing an apple
Just some deus ex machina and a whole lot of technibabble!
The Humor
I was told that this was supposed to be funny
Where was the humor? It was not even punny
Never once did I chuckle, never once did I laugh
I am confused, there are jokes? I've seen funnier business graphs
My Feminist Rant, part I
There are three female characters
Who have names and are major plot players
Holly short is a LEPrecon officer
The first woman one ever
She never stands up for the rights of other woman
She just thinks it's lucky that she even got in
Then there is Juliet, incompetent and pliable
I wish she was a lot more reliable
She gets captured and kidnapped, saved by her brother
He said "get ready to meet another male of the species" to the capture
Oh how I wish I could unread that line, it is very sexist
I need to go read something that's a little more feminist
Then there is Angelina Fowl, Artemis' mother
Did they say what her mental illness was, because it defined her
Do your research Mr. Colfer, don't just be dramatic
And did anyone else find her ending a wee bit problematic?
My Feminist Rant, part II
Stop constantly calling them 'females'
It doesn't make a good tale
Artemis felt guilty about capturing a girl
I wish he'd get mauled by a large rabid squirrel
There's a few more sexist problems, but I'll put this rant to rest
And end it by saying, it doesn't even pass the Bechdel Test
What I Liked
I liked the idea that Artemis used brain over brute strength
And that it was very short in length
I would have dnf'd, but it was only nine chapters
I won't finish the series, I'd rather train raptors
In Conclusion
I don't give one stars a lot, I think it's extreme
But the good idea was wasted, like a funny dead meme
Artemis Fowl
Artemis Fowl, more like Artemis Fail
I prefer Kaz Brekker and Victor Vale
He has two character traits, he's not very dimensional
Just a momma's boi and mastermind criminal
The Plot
They said this was clever
I don't think it was ever
It is an illusion, like a magician vanishing an apple
Just some deus ex machina and a whole lot of technibabble!
The Humor
I was told that this was supposed to be funny
Where was the humor? It was not even punny
Never once did I chuckle, never once did I laugh
I am confused, there are jokes? I've seen funnier business graphs
My Feminist Rant, part I
There are three female characters
Who have names and are major plot players
Holly short is a LEPrecon officer
The first woman one ever
She never stands up for the rights of other woman
She just thinks it's lucky that she even got in
Then there is Juliet, incompetent and pliable
I wish she was a lot more reliable
She gets captured and kidnapped, saved by her brother
He said "get ready to meet another male of the species" to the capture
Oh how I wish I could unread that line, it is very sexist
I need to go read something that's a little more feminist
Then there is Angelina Fowl, Artemis' mother
Did they say what her mental illness was, because it defined her
Do your research Mr. Colfer, don't just be dramatic
And did anyone else find her ending a wee bit problematic?
My Feminist Rant, part II
Stop constantly calling them 'females'
It doesn't make a good tale
Artemis felt guilty about capturing a girl
I wish he'd get mauled by a large rabid squirrel
There's a few more sexist problems, but I'll put this rant to rest
And end it by saying, it doesn't even pass the Bechdel Test
What I Liked
I liked the idea that Artemis used brain over brute strength
And that it was very short in length
I would have dnf'd, but it was only nine chapters
I won't finish the series, I'd rather train raptors
In Conclusion
I don't give one stars a lot, I think it's extreme
But the good idea was wasted, like a funny dead meme
August 3, 2020
Back in 2015 when I first read this these were my opinions.....
What a complete waste of time. I almost dnfed this, well I kind of did as I skimmed through the last pages.
I can't believe this was almost made into a movie and I can't believe this was given 5 stars by 2 of my friends. The only reason I didn't dnf this is cause it was leant to me by one of the 2 friends I mentioned so I felt I had to finish it well sort of.
The characters were really unrealistic and had no depth to them. plus I felt the fairies talked too much. Speaking of the fairies the way they were portrayed was so stupid I couldn't really believe it. I mean creatures of magic with more advanced technology than humans??!! That was just so far fetched but on saying that there is so much about this world humans don't know. It's just that in every other fairy book I've read the fairies have been portrayed as magical and more superior than humans and human technology having a different lifestyle. Also I felt the writing style and the way this was delivered was really dull and poorly done.
In my opinion this wasn't worth it and there are plenty of other fairy books out there that I enjoyed just check my shelf. I honestly don't know what everyone sees in this book.
.......
Update 3 Aug 2020
Second time I’ve read this and I honestly don’t know why I disliked this book so much when I tried it the first time because I just loved the characters and their dynamics not to mention all the wit and humour! Strange.... Will definitely be reading on in the series though.
What a complete waste of time. I almost dnfed this, well I kind of did as I skimmed through the last pages.
I can't believe this was almost made into a movie and I can't believe this was given 5 stars by 2 of my friends. The only reason I didn't dnf this is cause it was leant to me by one of the 2 friends I mentioned so I felt I had to finish it well sort of.
The characters were really unrealistic and had no depth to them. plus I felt the fairies talked too much. Speaking of the fairies the way they were portrayed was so stupid I couldn't really believe it. I mean creatures of magic with more advanced technology than humans??!! That was just so far fetched but on saying that there is so much about this world humans don't know. It's just that in every other fairy book I've read the fairies have been portrayed as magical and more superior than humans and human technology having a different lifestyle. Also I felt the writing style and the way this was delivered was really dull and poorly done.
In my opinion this wasn't worth it and there are plenty of other fairy books out there that I enjoyed just check my shelf. I honestly don't know what everyone sees in this book.
.......
Update 3 Aug 2020
Second time I’ve read this and I honestly don’t know why I disliked this book so much when I tried it the first time because I just loved the characters and their dynamics not to mention all the wit and humour! Strange.... Will definitely be reading on in the series though.
March 24, 2019
Done reading ARTEMIS FOWL - Book 1 in Artemis Fowl Octalogy. It's an easy-read. It contains 270-pages divided into nine chapters plus a prologue and an epilogue. Texts are in large size; therefore, anyone can read it with or without glasses.
Story-wise, I find it unique, pacy, and action-packed. Narrated in third-person perspective in past tenses, Artemis Fowl is nowhere close to other fiction protagonists such as Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and Jacob Portman. He is a 12-year-old criminal mastermind with a genius level IQ. He is a confident and articulate millionaire; therefore, he is followed by his loyal Butler whenever he goes and whatever he does. "... Butler had been guarding young Master Artemis for twelve years since the moment of his birth... they were much more than master and servant. Artemis was the closest thing Butler had to a friend, and Butler was the closest Artemis had to a father... (page 16).
Butler helps Artemis in his mission to kidnap a fairy - Holly Short. As the story climaxes, Artemis strikes a win-win deal. He proves to himself he's not an evil person after all. He's a kid and his adventure continues in Book 2 - THE ARCTIC INCIDENT.
Story-wise, I find it unique, pacy, and action-packed. Narrated in third-person perspective in past tenses, Artemis Fowl is nowhere close to other fiction protagonists such as Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and Jacob Portman. He is a 12-year-old criminal mastermind with a genius level IQ. He is a confident and articulate millionaire; therefore, he is followed by his loyal Butler whenever he goes and whatever he does. "... Butler had been guarding young Master Artemis for twelve years since the moment of his birth... they were much more than master and servant. Artemis was the closest thing Butler had to a friend, and Butler was the closest Artemis had to a father... (page 16).
Butler helps Artemis in his mission to kidnap a fairy - Holly Short. As the story climaxes, Artemis strikes a win-win deal. He proves to himself he's not an evil person after all. He's a kid and his adventure continues in Book 2 - THE ARCTIC INCIDENT.
December 2, 2025
I never expected farts to play such a big role 🤷🏻♂️💩
May 14, 2009
To be honest I haven't read the whole book, and there is a slim chance that I might try to continue and so I post this review.
The problem is that the onslaught of cheap jabs at the "barbarian humans" destroying the earth is becoming extremely irritating. And miraculously Ireland is still nice and green, but give those humans a few hundred years and it will be destroyed. Please. It completely distracts from the story. Why do we have to spoon feed children dogmatic propaganda? Don't get me wrong. I'm all for trying to take care of our surroundings, but our surroundings do not need to be worshiped. And frankly calling me a barbarian and trying to make me feel guilty about killing whales (in eco-destroying lead ships)I haven't killed, is NOT going to make me sympathetic to your causes.
The problem is that the onslaught of cheap jabs at the "barbarian humans" destroying the earth is becoming extremely irritating. And miraculously Ireland is still nice and green, but give those humans a few hundred years and it will be destroyed. Please. It completely distracts from the story. Why do we have to spoon feed children dogmatic propaganda? Don't get me wrong. I'm all for trying to take care of our surroundings, but our surroundings do not need to be worshiped. And frankly calling me a barbarian and trying to make me feel guilty about killing whales (in eco-destroying lead ships)I haven't killed, is NOT going to make me sympathetic to your causes.
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