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Allowed 2 Cheat: When Marriage Takes a Wrong Turn
My story...
I loved my husband. Looking back, maybe I loved him a little too much. Definitely more than I loved myself. How do I know? Because six weeks before our wedding I found out that there was another woman.
Devastated, I called him crying, trying to understand why. He explained that she started off as a friend because I made him give up his best friend (another woman and as such, a different story entirely, but really the same situation) to comfort me.
He goes on to explain that it just turned into more than he expected and how he couldn't stop it since he didn't want to hurt her. He said that he did it to try and get it all (by all I assume "the cheating") out of his system so that he wouldn't cheat once we were married. I knew then, in my heart, that his cheating would continue for a lifetime. But I was determined to keep the love I thought I found. I was so eager to hold on to that love that I told him, "I forgive you and we will get past this."
Sadly, that wasn't the last time I spoke those words. Throughout the course of our marriage, that refrain was repeated if not openly, silently... over and over again.So, again... this is my story. To protect those I love the most, I've changed names (including mine, just because) and the locations of various events. I also did this because the names are not important, neither are the places.
What holds true, or at least the truth that I'm trying to convey is illustrated in the message of this allegory. A message that so many women need to hear. A message outlined in the following fact that, as you read, you will feel this in your very soul: BECAUSE I Was Aware of my husband's cheating during our engagement and set no boundaries or consequences; I gave him permission and consent to continue it during our marriage. I didn't walk away, and I should have. As a result, ten years later I'm still struggling with my sanity and choices.
Don't be me.
I loved my husband. Looking back, maybe I loved him a little too much. Definitely more than I loved myself. How do I know? Because six weeks before our wedding I found out that there was another woman.
Devastated, I called him crying, trying to understand why. He explained that she started off as a friend because I made him give up his best friend (another woman and as such, a different story entirely, but really the same situation) to comfort me.
He goes on to explain that it just turned into more than he expected and how he couldn't stop it since he didn't want to hurt her. He said that he did it to try and get it all (by all I assume "the cheating") out of his system so that he wouldn't cheat once we were married. I knew then, in my heart, that his cheating would continue for a lifetime. But I was determined to keep the love I thought I found. I was so eager to hold on to that love that I told him, "I forgive you and we will get past this."
Sadly, that wasn't the last time I spoke those words. Throughout the course of our marriage, that refrain was repeated if not openly, silently... over and over again.So, again... this is my story. To protect those I love the most, I've changed names (including mine, just because) and the locations of various events. I also did this because the names are not important, neither are the places.
What holds true, or at least the truth that I'm trying to convey is illustrated in the message of this allegory. A message that so many women need to hear. A message outlined in the following fact that, as you read, you will feel this in your very soul: BECAUSE I Was Aware of my husband's cheating during our engagement and set no boundaries or consequences; I gave him permission and consent to continue it during our marriage. I didn't walk away, and I should have. As a result, ten years later I'm still struggling with my sanity and choices.
Don't be me.
Kindle Edition
Published April 21, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
May 6, 2020
A very engaging story. This story walked us through the decisions that the main character Renea made, which had far reaching consequences. This was a great read. An emotional ride. Men should read this also, as they may recognize behaviors that mirror their own. This is an adaptation and thus, you are left wondering about the current state of life, and plans for the future.
August 14, 2020
Wow!
Nae accepted alot of hurt from Jaxon in their relationship. I often wondered if things could get any worse. Talk about picking up the pieces.
Nae accepted alot of hurt from Jaxon in their relationship. I often wondered if things could get any worse. Talk about picking up the pieces.
April 5, 2026
M. Renae delivers a raw, unflinching memoir that transforms personal tragedy into urgent cautionary tale. Opening with devastating clarity, she recounts discovering her fiancé's infidelity six weeks before their wedding, his manipulative explanation that he cheated to "get it out of his system," and her own fateful words of forgiveness that would echo across a decade of continued betrayal. The memoir's power lies in its refusal to sanitize: Renae names her own complicity in setting no boundaries, her determination to hold onto love she mistook for genuine, the sanity she continues struggling with ten years later. The allegorical structure, the changed names to protect those she still loves, the direct address to readers ("Don't be me"), all serve the central message that awareness without consequence becomes permission. The writing occasionally sacrifices polish for immediacy, and some readers may find the emotional intensity overwhelming. Still, for women navigating similar crossroads, for anyone who has forgiven too easily in the name of love, this offers rare and necessary honesty. A painful, purposeful testament to the cost of boundaries never drawn.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews