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黒騎士の愛しき銀珠【イラスト入り】 (ダリア文庫e)
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July 15, 2020
Super nice read, this is gonna be my 2nd personal favorite BL of the year.
This book is probably among the most misleading BLs I've come across these past few years. The reviews on chil-chil was mixed as hell, and the negative ones all pointed out things that I absolutely dislike, like tsundere character, or the suddenly becoming lovey-dovey af trope. Even the beginning of the book ticked me off quite a bit, but let me assure you that those negative reviews were unfair (at least to me), and the annoying beginning was just a part of a well-thought-out and nicely written relationship development between the two MCs.
Tsundere is definitely not the right word to describe our MC Ness. This kid has legit intimacy issue due to racism and traumatic events in the past. His awkward ways of showing his love and care for his comrades of the same race, or his resistence against cooperating with and rejection of the other MC Phiki's affection aren't just Ness being a typical tsundere who's too prideful to admit that they want attention. It's Ness being a traumatized person who'd rather remain in solitary for the rest of his life than to commit himself to any relationship at the risk of getting hurt once more. That's just his survival instinct, that's just him trying to protect his sanity as someone who has been and still is being heavily discriminated against and abused by human society. Oh and did I mention that his lifespan in normal condition is way longer than a human being, and he can die and be resurrected multiple times, which explain his needs to disconnect himself from others so as to avoid any potential of going through the experience of betrayal or losing a loved one? Ness is not a tsundere, he's a survivor who possesses a huge amount of inner strength and who's struggling with the scars racism and betrayals had done to him.
I respect, sympathize with, and adore Ness. I adore his philosophy in love, that is, loving someone is a completely personal choice that depends solely on the one who loves and requires no reciprocation as part of its foundation. Ness doesn't need Phiki to love him, in fact he even told Phiki that he doesn't want to be love by Phiki because it is unnecessary. Ness wants to love Phiki in his own way, to die for Phiki if necessary and not burden Phiki with the sense of obligation of returning the favor, or with the sense of devastation when Ness dies. An extreme view of love, so romantic and so heartbreaking, a view that I, as a hopeless romantics with intimacy issue, aspire to have and live by. And I'm truly glad that Ness was able to meet and to fall in love with Phiki, someone who absolutely is perfect for Ness and deserves all of Ness' love.
Phiki, who belongs to the majority human group and has a completely opposite background and social standing from Ness', pisses the hell out of me at first when he single-mindedly denies Ness' perspective and tries to force his view on Ness at the beginning. What a self-entitled privileged piece of shit, I thought. But as the story progresses and Phiki gets to understand Ness better and learns about the experiences that helped shape Ness into the person Ness is, Phiki changes his approach, and from then on we see the improvement in the two's relationship. Phiki still doesn't agree with some of Ness's views on life and death and so on, and that totally makes sense. They are two separate individuals who not only don't belong to the same socio-economic class but also don't even belong to the same racial group. Different experiences inform different worldview, and Phiki acknowledges that. And he tries his best to understand and respect Ness' way of life, as well as putting effort into creating an environment that is safe and comfortable for Ness. And he's a master at that too. A real strategist, who knows when to back down, and when to push forward. Phiki is definitely not a "soft" guy, but I guess it takes a carefully measured amount of forcefulness to persue and break the wall Ness has built around him. Phiki knows how to handle Ness damn well. Phiki isn't just all about thoughtfulness and compassion, he has his childish side, his arrogant side, and his annoying side as well. And that's also what makes Phiki an interesting and approachable character.
I adore Ness and Phiki. Truly happy for them. This book truly deserves more recognition.
This book is probably among the most misleading BLs I've come across these past few years. The reviews on chil-chil was mixed as hell, and the negative ones all pointed out things that I absolutely dislike, like tsundere character, or the suddenly becoming lovey-dovey af trope. Even the beginning of the book ticked me off quite a bit, but let me assure you that those negative reviews were unfair (at least to me), and the annoying beginning was just a part of a well-thought-out and nicely written relationship development between the two MCs.
Tsundere is definitely not the right word to describe our MC Ness. This kid has legit intimacy issue due to racism and traumatic events in the past. His awkward ways of showing his love and care for his comrades of the same race, or his resistence against cooperating with and rejection of the other MC Phiki's affection aren't just Ness being a typical tsundere who's too prideful to admit that they want attention. It's Ness being a traumatized person who'd rather remain in solitary for the rest of his life than to commit himself to any relationship at the risk of getting hurt once more. That's just his survival instinct, that's just him trying to protect his sanity as someone who has been and still is being heavily discriminated against and abused by human society. Oh and did I mention that his lifespan in normal condition is way longer than a human being, and he can die and be resurrected multiple times, which explain his needs to disconnect himself from others so as to avoid any potential of going through the experience of betrayal or losing a loved one? Ness is not a tsundere, he's a survivor who possesses a huge amount of inner strength and who's struggling with the scars racism and betrayals had done to him.
I respect, sympathize with, and adore Ness. I adore his philosophy in love, that is, loving someone is a completely personal choice that depends solely on the one who loves and requires no reciprocation as part of its foundation. Ness doesn't need Phiki to love him, in fact he even told Phiki that he doesn't want to be love by Phiki because it is unnecessary. Ness wants to love Phiki in his own way, to die for Phiki if necessary and not burden Phiki with the sense of obligation of returning the favor, or with the sense of devastation when Ness dies. An extreme view of love, so romantic and so heartbreaking, a view that I, as a hopeless romantics with intimacy issue, aspire to have and live by. And I'm truly glad that Ness was able to meet and to fall in love with Phiki, someone who absolutely is perfect for Ness and deserves all of Ness' love.
Phiki, who belongs to the majority human group and has a completely opposite background and social standing from Ness', pisses the hell out of me at first when he single-mindedly denies Ness' perspective and tries to force his view on Ness at the beginning. What a self-entitled privileged piece of shit, I thought. But as the story progresses and Phiki gets to understand Ness better and learns about the experiences that helped shape Ness into the person Ness is, Phiki changes his approach, and from then on we see the improvement in the two's relationship. Phiki still doesn't agree with some of Ness's views on life and death and so on, and that totally makes sense. They are two separate individuals who not only don't belong to the same socio-economic class but also don't even belong to the same racial group. Different experiences inform different worldview, and Phiki acknowledges that. And he tries his best to understand and respect Ness' way of life, as well as putting effort into creating an environment that is safe and comfortable for Ness. And he's a master at that too. A real strategist, who knows when to back down, and when to push forward. Phiki is definitely not a "soft" guy, but I guess it takes a carefully measured amount of forcefulness to persue and break the wall Ness has built around him. Phiki knows how to handle Ness damn well. Phiki isn't just all about thoughtfulness and compassion, he has his childish side, his arrogant side, and his annoying side as well. And that's also what makes Phiki an interesting and approachable character.
I adore Ness and Phiki. Truly happy for them. This book truly deserves more recognition.
Displaying 1 of 1 review