Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk About: A Hopeful Christian Guide to Understanding and Discussing Mental Health

by Ryan Casey Waller

Mental illness loves to tell lies. One of those lies is that you should be able to manage what you're struggling with all by yourself, but in Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk About, pastor and psychotherapist Ryan Casey Waller reminds us that we don't have to suffer alone.

Mental health issues aren't a symptom of a spiritual failing or insufficient faith. In fact, suffering is the very thing our Savior seeks to heal as he leads us toward restoration. And yet, as Waller has experienced firsthand, the battle can be lonely and discouraging--but it doesn't have to be.

Combining practical theology, clinical insights, and deep empathy, Waller offers a rare mix of companionship and truth, inviting us

Have shame-free conversations about mental healthDiscover why self-knowledge is so important to a deep relationship with GodUnderstand the intersection of biology, psychology, and spiritualityExplore varying avenues of healing in community, therapy, and medicationBe equipped to support loved ones while practicing self-careWaller bridges the gap between the spiritual and the psychological in this empathetic, imminently helpful guidebook, reminding us all that we are not alone. Hope starts now.

Praise for Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk

"I work with Christian leaders from all over the country and have seen firsthand how desperately we need to be talking about depression and anxiety. What prior generations considered taboo, the leaders of today and tomorrow consider essential. Whether you're new to the conversation of mental health or intimately familiar with its complexities, Waller's book has something for you. I can't wait for you to read this."

--Grant Skeldon, author of The Passion Generation and Next Gen Director at Q

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Health, Christian, Mental Health, Christianity

254 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 5, 2021

Reviews

[Sheena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Going into this I had no idea it was so religious based which isn't my thing but I feel like it would be really helpful for someone in the christianity community struggling with mental illness.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for anyone that needs a pick me up or to read about someone struggling with depression/anxiety. I was not able to finish the book because it hit too close to home. I do think that this book is for people who need help with knowing that there are others like them out there.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Discusses about what it’s like to walk with mental health, if you have mental illness, or if you love someone who has been affected. Great connections to Christianity while acknowledging the gifts of medicine and therapy.

[Abdullah Thakur · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice introductory insight in depression, anxiety and suicide; addressing various other topics too.

[emily davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

“When mental illness strikes, it’s often the companionship of other Christians we lose first..
Break your leg in a snow skiing accident? A church staffer will call you. You might even get a card in the mail. Get diagnosed with breast cancer? The prayer warriors wil rally around you and your family. A meal train will get rolling toward you and your house before you even have a chance to tidy up. Need open heart surgery? Your small group is coming to the hospital. Any maybe your pastor too.

But what happens happens when your wife can’t get out of bed to dress your children for school and is eventually diagnosed with major depressive disorder? What about when you’re 22 year old son goes missing after a night of smoking weed and is discovered by the police the next day rambling incoherently in a grocery store parking lot and a few weeks later gets diagnosed with schizophrenia? The church gets quiet.

With mental illness there is a lot of secret, which can make the task of communal care very, very hard. But we can do better.

The single most helpful things we Christians can do to support those of us who struggle with depression or any other kind of mental illness is to simple be honest about its existence. If we can find the courage to face the reality of what is happening, then we can trust God will lead us from there and show us how each of us can individually and specifically minister to those who need our love and support.”

[Caryn Demaree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book! Or better yet, listen to the audio as the author reads to you , as I did. If you don’t have depression or anxiety, I am sure you know someone who does. The author has been a pastor, a lawyer and writes as a Christian. He’s very transparent about his own life struggles. He defines terms, has insights on how the church could help, how to find a counselor, and explains the different types of counseling. I finished the book and made my husband listen to it. Can I repeat- read this book!!

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan Casey Waller is a pastor and licensed psychotherapist, and in this new book, he shares his personal story, summarizes information related to mental health, medication, and therapy, and encourages his readers to talk about their experiences and get help. He writes in a casual, conversational style, and is bracingly honest about his own struggles with depression and alcohol abuse. He includes short narratives related to his experiences between some of the chapters, writing about himself in the second person as if he were observing himself from the outside during the darkest time in his life. Because he tells the truth about his own struggles and how they have affected his family, he gives the reader a sense of his credibility as a fellow sufferer.

Waller addresses common questions related to why God allows suffering, dispels various myths about mental health, and explains what a state of positive mental health should look like, helping readers measure their situation against a vision for what life can be like, instead of just cataloging their symptoms. This was eye-opening for me, because even though I have not dealt with severe depression or anxiety in years, I could see based on his description of a positive state just how much my mental health has degraded over the past year of dealing with the pandemic. Waller's approach helps someone conceptualize what holistic wellness looks like, and he then provides information about how people can pursue help. He also writes about suicide, shares compassionate stories about people he knows who have died this way, and addresses current statistics about how "epidemic" depression has become. My one significant critique of this book is that I wish he had written more about reasons why mental health issues have become so prevalent in our time.

During the second half of the book, Waller demystifies the process of finding care, provides detailed information about medication options, and helps de-stigmatize pharmaceutical medications, even though he also acknowledges that health and lifestyle changes can help alleviate mental struggles. Throughout the book, he is direct, balanced, and informative, and he provides lots of practical advice for how people can take incremental steps towards improving their mental health. This book is an excellent resource for people who are dealing with psychiatric, situational, or emotional issues, and I would strongly encourage friends and family members of sufferers to read this as well. This book has the power to break down barriers and start new conversations in Christian communities about mental health. It isn't perfect, since no book on such a sensitive subject could be, but it is an excellent resource.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Freedom · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW - a breath of fresh air. Having someone name and describe what I go through and how to live better with Depression and Anxiety. Has a great step by step and more!

[Kelsey Mahoney (The Reading Nook) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an important read! The author tackles topics such as medication & anxiety, to more difficult topics including suicide and addiction. I was completely invested in this book from start to finish. The author is a Pastor and Therapist, and ties his beliefs & faith into his writing. I was intrigued by the title and am so glad I picked this up. I would definitely recommend for anyone who lives with mental illness, or who believe that they may.

[Jordan Higginbotham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could’ve used this book about 10.5 years ago. Beautiful writing. Open, empathetic, sincere. I love how Waller brings faith into it, however, I don’t completely agree with some of the points he brings up regarding the Bible and faith. Regardless, mental health is a huge issue that should be taken seriously. I agree 1000% it needs to be a more open conversation in the church. I would recommend this book to those with a strong faith but struggling with mental health, have struggled with mental health, or have a loved one/friend that has struggled with mental health.

[Katie Flegal Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like everyone needs to read this book. My big takeaway: we are not meant to be alone in this life. We need a community to support and care about us

[Julianna M]

“What is so beautiful about the men and women who commit themselves to doing this kind of work is that they show up each day to not only to share their expertise but also the innermost chambers of their hearts, all in effort to do whatever it takes to help those who are sick become well again.”

Waller is touches on almost every component of mental heath ranging from medication to the theology of mental illness. A must-read for every person who wants an overview/introduction to all things mental health.

[Sierra Moran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan Casey Waller got real and personal about his ‘fall from grace.’ Depression, anxiety, suicide - they don’t discriminate. As Christians, we know we have an ever-present Father, a God who will hear our every need, who will walk through the trials and temptations with us. Knowing and believing these things often leaves individuals suffering from mental illness feeling that we are not strong, we aren’t living life right, or even that we deserve what is happening to us. Waller gives a new perspective on mental health and the role that our faith has in recovery.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book for Christians by a Christian who is a licensed therapist and “co-sufferer”. It does a phenomenal job at comprehensively covering mental health in a way that honors God AND accurately discusses the realities and proven treatments of mental health concerns. This is a book every Christian should read!

[Maci · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't realize this was a faith-based dive into mental health. While I love that, especially because mental health truly is stigmatized and sometimes even treated with a double standard in the Christian faith, but for the author to be a Christian pastor, a lot of his ideals seemed to be rooted in woke culture rather than the Bible.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book for those brand new to exploring anxiety and depression- it covers basic and crucial info like how to find a therapist, understanding mental health, etc. There should be a trigger warning though as suicide is discussed pretty explicitly. The author is also really open and vulnerable with his own struggles which is great! A good read to someone very new to the mental health world.

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic explanation of mental illness and its treatment, would be excellent for people in ministry to read

[jara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish there were something lower than one star

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book as I was working through some difficult times in my own life and I found it really helpful to read the perspective of someone knowledgeable in the field of mental health.

While I do think there is a growing cultural idolization of certain mental health identity issues, this book puts names and vocabulary to dealing with these issues within the church. Even though the author and I probably wouldn’t see eye to eye on specific issues, I was immensely encouraged reading these pages and being reminded that Jesus steps into even our own mental health to love and care for us.

At any rate, this would be an incredible starting point for Christians who feel totally ignorant or don’t know where to start with talking about mental health.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very honest book about his personal struggles. Minimal theology or science - definitely directed at intro level readers. Mostly focused on sufferers, but does have advice for people dealing with loved ones with mental illness.

Edit: I highly recommend The End of Mental Illness by Dr. Daniel Amen as a necessary companion to this book. Amen does a better job at looking at the physical causes of mental illness, talking about cutting edge science, providing a wide range of treatment options, and, most importantly, giving a sense that your mental health issues can be resolved.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book focuses on what the church should be more vocal about.
As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression this was a blessed reminder of that God doesn’t condemn me for my mental health. All Christians must read or even if you’re curious about depression/anxiety just know this is a great book to read to be more educated around mental health.

[Isabella · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of this book was very helpful to think about. Good holistic approach

[kholoud · Rating 2 out of 5]

idk what i expected from this book but there wasn’t much to it to begin with. everything was very superficial level that it didn’t really add anything to my knowledge or insight tbh.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who has personally dealt with depression and anxiety, I was very interested to read this book. The author does a really good job of explaining what potential causes and treatments are as well as working in how it relates to our lives as Christians. There were definitely things that I could relate to in this book and things that I found helpful. From the title, I expected the book to talk more about how to bring these issues more to the forefront and get people talking about them, but there wasn't a whole lot of that.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading the first few pages, I almost stopped reading. He tells of his experience coming to church, as a pastor, drunk, and I cannot relate to that at all and wondered if the whole book would relate mental illness to drug and alcohol abuse, which are non-applicable to myself and just wasn't what I expected.

Fortunately, the book did not just focus on that but began to apply more and more as I kept reading. Additionally, I found that I could also replace alcohol with other vices, such as food. While not exactly the same, the root of the addiction is similar enough to empathize with his situation, even if it was different than my own.

I really enjoyed this book overall! It looks at mental illness from a Christian viewpoint. I have read a lot of books on the subject since I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child, and a lot of books tend to either be completely agnostic and claim that therapy and drugs are the only remedy, while there are some religious ones that claim you can make it all go away by just praying or becoming closer to God. I don't agree with either of those stances, and thankfully, Waller doesn't either. He recognizes that mental illness, like physical illness, is a condition of life. It is not a punishment from God, a sign one is not close enough to Him, or anything of the sort. God recognizes our challenges and while they are not usually completely lifted, He does support us and is there with us so we are not alone. This is akin to what I have always been taught and felt, but different than the usual black or white I have read in other books.

He details the loneliness, exhaustion, and apathy that mental illness can cause quite well and points out how it doesn't discriminate and can affect anyone. He covers multiple paths to recover and getting help while also acknowledging the trajectory that is depression. Those with it understand that it never truly goes away, or is cured, but requires vigilance and constant self checks. I learned a lot of new tips and tricks in this book and really enjoyed reading from the perspective of someone who understands, in a way, how I feel.

I didn't necessarily agree with 100% of what he wrote, but I think it is a great book with tons of wonderful insight that can be gleaned.

[M. P. Behrens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Three words to describe Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk About would be hopeful, practical, and effectively written.

I added this book to my cart during my third or fourth round of depression. Medication as a treatment for mental illness is stigmatized in Christian culture. Searching for approval for why I was trying *another* antidepressant and feeling guilty, I bought Ryan’s book. Sadly, it fell victim to my mountainous “To Be Read” pile, and I didn’t read it until now.

Ryan Casey Waller tells the story of his struggle with addiction, depression, and anxiety which God used to spur Ryan into becoming a therapist. He begins the book by telling his own story of preaching while he was drunk one Sunday. Amidst slurred words, he denied being intoxicated to those who confronted him later that day. It was at that point he entered a rehabilitation program.

Honestly, there is no section I didn’t enjoy! I think I appreciated the practical nature of the second half most, from explaining the differences between counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists to how to approach talk therapy. Ryan makes a case for using medication to treat mental illness in the most simplistic terms.

I wish I would have had a guide like this before walking down my mental health roads, walking with my husband through his, and giving advice to friends or other family members. This book is, by far, the most accessible book I have read on this topic. Ryan welcomes everyone to sit with him, to hear his own story if the reader cannot relate.

Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk About will sit on my shelf for recommendations if you need anything referencing mental health; this is your baseline. Ryan Casey Waller’s book is available to purchase now!

“What the church needs to do at this moment is get more comfortable declaring this truth in the face of the crippling realities of mental illness.”

[Arun Verma · Rating 5 out of 5]

💊 𝑫𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆.

Depression is a common illness worldwide, with more than 264 million people affected. Sounds disastrous, right❓

Educating yourself on this topic, we can help those are in need and of course, to keep a check on our mental health, and more importantly we need to break this stigma associated with mental illness.

The author @ himself suffered from depression and shares his experience with the readers of how he felt during the time and overcame it. He is a licensed psychotherapist having an expertise in this arena. He explains how religious practices can help people who are facing these problems. Explaining how spirituality can help people overcome depression and anxiety.

The book explains what mental health and mental illness are (Biological, psychological and social factors that can lead to mental illness). Different shapes and sizes of depression are discussed.

Three methods of treating mental illness and it’s benefits:
1. Talk Therapy : how to choose the right therapist for you?
2. Medication : when should we turn to drugs? When can mental health medications detrimental?
3. People : Benefits of belonging, support, purpose and strategies to avoid isolation.

What else you’ll learn:

🔹 Identifying the type of care you need by following a comprehensive mental scan (biologically, spiritually, psychologically, socially).
🔹 Indicators that show a person is suicidal and what we can do to help and some myths related to suicide.
🔹 Psychological benefits of spirituality.
🔹 A comprehensive list for how depression manifests in each person and its symptoms.
🔹 A brief history on how long mental illness has been around and how difficult a problem it has posed.

The book will be useful to anyone who wants to educate himself on this topic or wants to help someone who struggle with depression or any other kind of mental illness.

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Instagram handle- @getsmarterwithbooks

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having first read the very scientific book on mental illness and depression, this book now offers a very different perspective from a writer who firstly suffers from depression himself, secondly is a therapist who helps people with depression and third was previously a pastor, and so also provides a bliblical perspective on depression and also how the church can help (or fails to help) those with depression. This provides multiple human perspectives on depression.

The first thing the book brings across is the frustration of mental illness, because unlike physical injury or disease the pain and suffering of mental illness is not visible to others. Where those with physical challenges often get support and encouragement as they face their disabilities, the mental patient overwhelmingly feels the pressure to hide their condition, because others will not understand nor empathise with them.

People with depression just want to hide at home by themselves, but the best way to help depression is to find good company. Referring to the creation account in Genesis, the authors notes that there is only one thing that God was was not good [that the man was alone]. And so, it is important that those with depression continue to socialise, and they will feel much better after, no matter how reluctant they may feel before.

In the author's experience, the church can be very harsh on people with depression. In addition to the above reason, depression could be attributed to a lack of faith, and lead to being ostracized, which further pressures a Christian to hide their condition rather than seek treatment.

Lastly, if you think that someone with mental illness is considering suicide, you should not avoid the topic but confront them directly with care and concern. Bringing up suicide will not make a person more likely to commit it, but you could instead save their life.

[Jacob Sabin · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were many things which I think Pastor Ryan did extremely well. I appreciate his honesty and his vulnerability regarding his own mental health struggles. He not only knows about this field from an educational stand point, but he knows about it from a personal standpoint as well. I do think it is things many times the church, as a whole, don't want to talk about it. It is hard enough for the person who is suffering through them, but then when or if the church wants to outcast the person, make the person feel less of a believer, whatever the case, the struggle only intensifies. Talking about anxiety, depression, suicide, and other topic, this could be a helpful resource for many. One piece of advice I have to give, and I don't say this to judge Pastor Ryan, demean him, vilify him, or anything because I do recommend this book, but if you struggle with alcohol like Pastor Ryan has and even went to rehab like Pastor Ryan did, then it is never a good idea to go back to drinking. Even if it is a little on occasion, it is just never a good thing to do. I have volunteered and worked in the rehabilitation area/ministry for 7 years, it is just never a good idea to go back down. In the grand scheme of things, it is a minor thing to point out and like I said, I wholeheartedly support and recommend this book, but that is just one of those few where I think Pastor Ryan was being irresponsible. But at the end of the day, people have to come to their own conclusions. This is a good book though, it is a helpful book and it is coming from someone who knows this area intimately. I will most likely read again some day, worth it.

[Leena Escobar · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are various communities that ignore or even demonize mental health issues, a standard problem that many people face. Christianity has long been a common group that typically diminishes and ignores mental health, but pastor and psychotherapist Ryan Casey Waller chooses to fight against this. Taking an in-depth approach to what struggles many people face, Waller investigates the common myths and harmful perspectives, and hopes to ultimately normalize these struggles that are found within many Christian settings. Taking experiences found in the media, his peers, or even his own struggles, Waller fights to provide his readers with a better understanding of mental health, especially in a religious setting.
I found that the authors transparent inclusion of his own struggles very inspiring. His approach to discussing mental health within Christianity strays from the common approach many find in most churches. It was refreshing to read about mental health from this perspective without feeling ashamed. I also thought his inclusion of mental health myths and tips on how to talk about mental health very helpful. Waller did an amazing job of discussing such a sensitive topic without shaming or belittling one's experience.