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The Sergeant’s Daughter
As a little girl, Teressa’s father dotes on her and little sister,
Karen, while mercilessly mocking her older sister, Debbie. Teressa
thinks its Debbie’s fault—until she gets a little older and he begins
tormenting her, too. Soon enough, his verbal abuse turns physical. Her
sergeant father brings his military life home, meeting each of his
daughters’ infractions with extreme punishment for them all. Meanwhile,
their mother watches silently, never defending her daughters and never
subjected to physical abuse herself. Terrified to be at home and
terrified to tell anyone, Teressa seeks solace in books, music, and the
family she can find outside of her a best friend, a kind neighbor,
and a doting grandfather. At first cowed by her father’s abuse and
desperate to believe that maybe, one day, things will change, Teressa
ultimately grows into a young woman who understands that if she wants a
better life, she’ll have to build it for herself—so she does.
Karen, while mercilessly mocking her older sister, Debbie. Teressa
thinks its Debbie’s fault—until she gets a little older and he begins
tormenting her, too. Soon enough, his verbal abuse turns physical. Her
sergeant father brings his military life home, meeting each of his
daughters’ infractions with extreme punishment for them all. Meanwhile,
their mother watches silently, never defending her daughters and never
subjected to physical abuse herself. Terrified to be at home and
terrified to tell anyone, Teressa seeks solace in books, music, and the
family she can find outside of her a best friend, a kind neighbor,
and a doting grandfather. At first cowed by her father’s abuse and
desperate to believe that maybe, one day, things will change, Teressa
ultimately grows into a young woman who understands that if she wants a
better life, she’ll have to build it for herself—so she does.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
320 pages, Paperback
Published August 11, 2020
7 people are currently reading
1469 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
September 30, 2022
"I knew that [our kindly next-door neighbor] was instructing me to tell someone that Dad was beating me. 'I promise,' I said. But it was a lie. I wouldn't tell anyone our family's secret." - on page 99
Shelton's The Sergeant's Daughter is a harrowing, often depressing, but then ultimately triumphant memoir about a family's two decades of mental and physical abuse via the mouth and hands of its patriarch. Ms. Shelton was the middle child of three girls, and their father was a career 'non-com' in the U.S. Army before/during/after the Vietnam Conflict of the 60's and 70's. In addition to the usual stress of occasional military re-assignments (the family frequently moved back and forth from Missouri and Alaska, along with a few other locations) - always meaning new houses and/or schools, sometimes more than once a year - the girls and their mom received unrelenting harsh mistreatment and punishment from the often angry and disturbed sergeant of the title. Ms. Shelton recalls her unstable childhood / teenage years in direct and punchy chapters, and her experiences sharply illustrate how someone is trapped or locked into an abusive situation without any sort of easy exit. While the book didn't quite have the explosively dramatic finale I came to be expecting - but this is 'real life' after all, not a scripted Hollywood production - Ms. Shelton was ultimately able to emerge on the other side of her unenviable life circumstances and provide us with this affecting narrative.
Shelton's The Sergeant's Daughter is a harrowing, often depressing, but then ultimately triumphant memoir about a family's two decades of mental and physical abuse via the mouth and hands of its patriarch. Ms. Shelton was the middle child of three girls, and their father was a career 'non-com' in the U.S. Army before/during/after the Vietnam Conflict of the 60's and 70's. In addition to the usual stress of occasional military re-assignments (the family frequently moved back and forth from Missouri and Alaska, along with a few other locations) - always meaning new houses and/or schools, sometimes more than once a year - the girls and their mom received unrelenting harsh mistreatment and punishment from the often angry and disturbed sergeant of the title. Ms. Shelton recalls her unstable childhood / teenage years in direct and punchy chapters, and her experiences sharply illustrate how someone is trapped or locked into an abusive situation without any sort of easy exit. While the book didn't quite have the explosively dramatic finale I came to be expecting - but this is 'real life' after all, not a scripted Hollywood production - Ms. Shelton was ultimately able to emerge on the other side of her unenviable life circumstances and provide us with this affecting narrative.
October 10, 2022
This book is so beautifully written. It is an inspirational read after she had a horrifying experience as a child. I always feel so bad for someone who has to or grew up in circumstances like this. There are so many heartbreaking things in the world, but I admire someone who takes something so horrible and turns it into something so beautiful.
June 16, 2020
This book was a highly personal read for me because I too was a sergeant’s daughter. My sergeant dad also had a violent temper and resorted to corporal punishment although not as frequent or brutal as the author’s father meted out to her and her sisters. So many things in The Sergeant’s Daughter were familiar to me. I lived in Anchorage as a child before it was even a state. One of my two sisters was born at Ft. Riley Kansas and the other in Wurzburg Germany where my father was stationed next. All of us military “brats” know what it means to live from house to house (some quarters better and some worse), to always be the new kid in school, and what the parental order to police up the yard means. After growing up this way you become adaptable. Home is nowhere and yet everywhere. This book was of course meaningful to me but I recommend it as a very readable story of one person’s childhood experience of growing up in the military life.
September 13, 2020
My Review of
THE SERGEANT’S DAUGHTER
By Teressa Shelton
Published by @SheWritesPress
************
This memoir had me in tears, literally shaking in fear for the Author as she shares her life from a child growing up into an adult having a family of her own. It triggered in me the abuse I suffered as a child. It resembled the trauma I felt and still feel so much that it could have been me voicing some of the stories about the abuse suffered at the hands of her father. How eerily similar some of the events were. Just hearing her pour little soul being so obedient and good knowing that no matter what; she would still end up being abused. The military background with the Author’s father and mine, I believe played a big part on having structure, routine and the need for the feeling of power. But instead of using it on grown men that could take it; they cowardly used it to beat on, punish and torture their daughters. So powerfully written to show how the effects of each person makes another person fall like a domino. Her mother wanting to not lose her husband and just wanting her daughters to try harder to not upset their father, leaves her daughters vulnerable & unsafe. Instead of stepping in and protecting her daughters, she does nothing but makes excuses for the father. This happens in many cases where one parents gives the abuse and the other makes the excuses. The courage when Teressa did stand up to her father usually came with a hefty beating or sick & twisted punishment as revenge. And with most daughters, the tender moments that came out of nowhere left Teressa forgetting about every bad thing her dad had ever done because for that time, she was receiving affection or love that was worth everything that she’d gone through. Unfortunately, these times always passed and the abuse would alway happen again, even as a teen, as an adult...but nothing would ever happen when Teressa had children of her own. You must read this book to see how a family comes together, how it’s torn apart, how it grows, how it breaks & then glued back together. It’s the cycle of abuse told with such fascinating stories and descriptive views of a family you just wish would have a happy ending.
THE SERGEANT’S DAUGHTER
By Teressa Shelton
Published by @SheWritesPress
************
This memoir had me in tears, literally shaking in fear for the Author as she shares her life from a child growing up into an adult having a family of her own. It triggered in me the abuse I suffered as a child. It resembled the trauma I felt and still feel so much that it could have been me voicing some of the stories about the abuse suffered at the hands of her father. How eerily similar some of the events were. Just hearing her pour little soul being so obedient and good knowing that no matter what; she would still end up being abused. The military background with the Author’s father and mine, I believe played a big part on having structure, routine and the need for the feeling of power. But instead of using it on grown men that could take it; they cowardly used it to beat on, punish and torture their daughters. So powerfully written to show how the effects of each person makes another person fall like a domino. Her mother wanting to not lose her husband and just wanting her daughters to try harder to not upset their father, leaves her daughters vulnerable & unsafe. Instead of stepping in and protecting her daughters, she does nothing but makes excuses for the father. This happens in many cases where one parents gives the abuse and the other makes the excuses. The courage when Teressa did stand up to her father usually came with a hefty beating or sick & twisted punishment as revenge. And with most daughters, the tender moments that came out of nowhere left Teressa forgetting about every bad thing her dad had ever done because for that time, she was receiving affection or love that was worth everything that she’d gone through. Unfortunately, these times always passed and the abuse would alway happen again, even as a teen, as an adult...but nothing would ever happen when Teressa had children of her own. You must read this book to see how a family comes together, how it’s torn apart, how it grows, how it breaks & then glued back together. It’s the cycle of abuse told with such fascinating stories and descriptive views of a family you just wish would have a happy ending.
July 3, 2020
As a little girl, Teressa knows that her father dotes on her, whilst her older sister Debbie is mocked & picked on. Teressa thinks that Debbie must have done something to deserve this treatment, until she gets older & he begins tormenting her too. Her father attempts to run his family like a military establishment, requiring absolute obedience, a spotless house & any misdemeanour resulting in punishment for all three girls.
Over time, Teressa realises that home life is not "normal" and she seeks places that she can escape - her beloved Grandpa, a kind neighbour, a best friends house (where the mother would invariably know there was something wrong but were powerless to do anything other than provide a safe haven) or a trusted teacher. She knows that she is considered the "clever one" and endeavours to make her father proud of her by gaining good marks in school but when her father bans books she realises that he just wants to control every aspect of her life. In many ways, Teressa's father's military life provided a cover for his abuse as they moved so often.
The discovery of family secrets and a realisation that her mother was under "Dad's" spell and would never put her children first, makes Teressa realise that the only way out of the life she has is to forge her own path. A marriage very young helps her to take the first steps towards achieving this, but she soon realises that her own happiness doesn't need to be dependent on others.
This is a difficult book to read, and as a memoir the writing style is quite choppy and doesn't flow well. It is a harrowing book at times but thank you to Teressa for being brave enough to share her story
Disclosure: I received an advance reader copy of this book free via NetGalley. All opinions are my own
Over time, Teressa realises that home life is not "normal" and she seeks places that she can escape - her beloved Grandpa, a kind neighbour, a best friends house (where the mother would invariably know there was something wrong but were powerless to do anything other than provide a safe haven) or a trusted teacher. She knows that she is considered the "clever one" and endeavours to make her father proud of her by gaining good marks in school but when her father bans books she realises that he just wants to control every aspect of her life. In many ways, Teressa's father's military life provided a cover for his abuse as they moved so often.
The discovery of family secrets and a realisation that her mother was under "Dad's" spell and would never put her children first, makes Teressa realise that the only way out of the life she has is to forge her own path. A marriage very young helps her to take the first steps towards achieving this, but she soon realises that her own happiness doesn't need to be dependent on others.
This is a difficult book to read, and as a memoir the writing style is quite choppy and doesn't flow well. It is a harrowing book at times but thank you to Teressa for being brave enough to share her story
Disclosure: I received an advance reader copy of this book free via NetGalley. All opinions are my own
Read
August 24, 2020This book proved to be just as powerful of a read as I expected it to be. More so, actually, when I really think about it. I was initially drawn to this story because I instantly knew I would relate. While I did not grow up in a military family, or with a father who was willing to go to the extremes seen in this book, I was instantly able to relate back to some of the things in this story with growing up.
This story is definitely a tough one to get through. It deals with really difficult topics and lays it all on the table, forcing you to take a glimpse into what some people must go through. It’s a very stark and in your face kind of book and Shelton refuse to relent. She tells you everything just how it was and truly shows that some things never leave us.
This memoir is one of those, perhaps brutally, honest looks into the psyche of growing up in both an emotionally and physically abusive household. But there is a light at the tunnel, as Shelton proves with how successful she has become in life. While what happens between these pages may haunt you, Shelton is right there with you sharing and baring a piece of her soul. You will feel anger, horror, and many other emotions but this is the type of story that must be told.
You can view my full review & giveaway on my blog! I also post about a lot of different types of books!
Reader | Bookstagrammer | Blogger | Reviewer
@ya.its.lit - https://www.instagram.com/ya.its.lit/
Blog - https://yaitslitblog.wordpress.com/
This story is definitely a tough one to get through. It deals with really difficult topics and lays it all on the table, forcing you to take a glimpse into what some people must go through. It’s a very stark and in your face kind of book and Shelton refuse to relent. She tells you everything just how it was and truly shows that some things never leave us.
This memoir is one of those, perhaps brutally, honest looks into the psyche of growing up in both an emotionally and physically abusive household. But there is a light at the tunnel, as Shelton proves with how successful she has become in life. While what happens between these pages may haunt you, Shelton is right there with you sharing and baring a piece of her soul. You will feel anger, horror, and many other emotions but this is the type of story that must be told.
You can view my full review & giveaway on my blog! I also post about a lot of different types of books!
Reader | Bookstagrammer | Blogger | Reviewer
@ya.its.lit - https://www.instagram.com/ya.its.lit/
Blog - https://yaitslitblog.wordpress.com/
November 17, 2020
My parents bought me this one because the author lives in our city. I’ve never run across her before in the local writing community,however. The author’s bio coyly states that her children all graduated from the “local public school” as though there was only one. I did a little Google research and found she lives in a huge house that was featured in the local society magazine, where the rich and idle get profiled. I wager that while she has a Springfield address, she sent her children to Chatham schools which is what folks of means do, to get their children out of the crummy, crumbling Springfield Public Schools. (This probably just demonstrates the chip I have on my shoulder, but it irritates me when people appear to obfuscate their privilege to seem more relatable.)
I found it to be a very easy read with very short chapters. She seemed forthright and I thought she earned the reader’s trust. A fine addition to the child abuse memoir genre which seems to be bursting at the seams these days. The back of the book advertises six more abuse memoirs if a reader wants to continue reading on the topic.
I wish the author had taken a bit more time at the end to tell us how she finished her education, and what kind of career she had. The memoir is framed by the men in her life that she is dependent on. We know she got remarried to a med student (who I assume became a doctor) so maybe doctor’s wife and volunteer work was her career. Her alma mater is listed, so presumably she finished more than just a few credits at the school she was attending in Missouri.
I found it to be a very easy read with very short chapters. She seemed forthright and I thought she earned the reader’s trust. A fine addition to the child abuse memoir genre which seems to be bursting at the seams these days. The back of the book advertises six more abuse memoirs if a reader wants to continue reading on the topic.
I wish the author had taken a bit more time at the end to tell us how she finished her education, and what kind of career she had. The memoir is framed by the men in her life that she is dependent on. We know she got remarried to a med student (who I assume became a doctor) so maybe doctor’s wife and volunteer work was her career. Her alma mater is listed, so presumably she finished more than just a few credits at the school she was attending in Missouri.
August 28, 2020
This memoir is brutally honest and raw. Reading this brought emotions to the surface and a pain in the gut.
Teressa tells her story about being raised by a military father. Not only does she deal with all the moving and having to start school and searching for friends she can connect with, she reveals her family secret of the verbal and physical abuse.
This is difficult to read, and will rip your heart apart. However, I feel this was probably pretty common with the time and stress of the Vietnam War.....but still, that should never be an excuse.
Her timeline of events are detailed and descriptive. This memoir is hard to put down and a fast read...and shows how courageous the author is to share her story with the world.
Teressa tells her story about being raised by a military father. Not only does she deal with all the moving and having to start school and searching for friends she can connect with, she reveals her family secret of the verbal and physical abuse.
This is difficult to read, and will rip your heart apart. However, I feel this was probably pretty common with the time and stress of the Vietnam War.....but still, that should never be an excuse.
Her timeline of events are detailed and descriptive. This memoir is hard to put down and a fast read...and shows how courageous the author is to share her story with the world.
August 24, 2020
Thought provoking, emotional and so well written, The Sergeant's Daughter will stay with me for a while. This book brought back memories of growing up a military brat and I really related to a lot of what the Author lived as a child. Thankfully, my family has always been firm but loving and I didn't experience that aspect of her story. Shelton did an amazing job of conveying not only her story, but telling it in such a way that I was drawn into her journey, felt her struggles, cried for her and eventually, applauded her strength and fortitude.
I highly recommend this read especially if you like gritty and emotional reads.
I highly recommend this read especially if you like gritty and emotional reads.
November 24, 2020
Tragic, tragic story-I had to put the book down multiple times during reading it. What would have happened if the mother had stepped in? Tessie was a favorite when she was little along with another little one, but as she got older her father would come home and abuse them.
Cringing while I read this-Proud to see that she found solace in books and music. Finally realizing nothing would change until she herself, removed herself from the situation.
I can only imagine how hard this was for her to put to print. She needed to know that she was not alone in this situation.
Cringing while I read this-Proud to see that she found solace in books and music. Finally realizing nothing would change until she herself, removed herself from the situation.
I can only imagine how hard this was for her to put to print. She needed to know that she was not alone in this situation.
July 9, 2020
I had to read this book in small doses, because the things Teressa tells of her childhood were difficult to imagine. I found myself very angry at her Mother for not standing up for her own children from the abuse of her husband. Her Mother was a woman who chose her husband over her children from the moment she met him. The way Teressa tells things you feel like your right there with her. I loved the book and thought she is so brave to finally tell her story.
August 20, 2020
This was a very hard story to get through and I would recommend that if you pick this one up. You should read this one in sections. The story is very powerful and very dark and very eye opening. I cant really say that I enjoyed it per say. This is more of a learning/teaching book about what goes on behind the curtin. It was one that you will not soon forget once you finish. And one that will rip out your heart.
September 2, 2023
From the beginning, I was hooked. Someone else had my life, I wasn’t crazy. The author tells a story of abuse during her life with her father and a mother that overlooks it. A mother that somehow didn’t think it was as bad as it was. She did a great job, just mostly facts and not too much rationale. I would definitely recommend this book for anyone who lived through a violent upbringing, to let them know they were not alone.
August 8, 2020
This moving memoir is a powerful account of the courage and grit of the author as she struggled, but ultimately succeeded, to escape family dysfunction. The heartbreaking facts are beautifully tempered with reminders of the fabulous music of the 1960s that helped Ms Shelton move on to the better life she knew she could find.
November 12, 2020
This was a difficult and harrowing book about physical abuse--a book I won't soon forget. It had me in tears more often than not, constantly questioning "how a parent could subject their sweet, innocent children to such cruel punishments?"
This is undeniably a story of survival, and I do recommend it to avid memoir readers.
This is undeniably a story of survival, and I do recommend it to avid memoir readers.
June 17, 2020
I read this in 2 days. It was a page turner, but so sad. The author is very honest about her feelings and tells a story of anger, guilt and resentment in an incredibly engaging way. The writing is excellent and I really wanted to know what happened to the family. I recommend it highly.
July 31, 2022
This book details the author's traumatic childhood. I was amazed at how many details she recalled and documented. The ending wasn't my favorite mostly because it summarizes so many years in one or two chapters - still a good read.
June 20, 2020
The Sergeant’s Daughter, an honest, unflinching look at life growing up with a father in the military. Quite a sad but eye opening read that is very well written.
February 5, 2021
4.1 - read via Hoopla - a harrowing memoir of survival
September 21, 2021
It was sad.
November 14, 2021
Straight to the point unapologetic writing. This book was a tough one, yet cathartic for me. A lot of connections. Never say never, if you want a better life bad enough you can have it.
June 8, 2023
A hard book to read. My heart goes out to her and her sisters and all the children that have to live this way. I'm glad she's living the life she was meant to life now.
November 6, 2023
I wish there was more discussion about the relationship with the sisters and more conversations between the people. Great story, though.
September 4, 2020
It's always difficult to describe the reading experience of a book about abuse. It's shocking and heartbreaking, just as you would expect, yet you can't stop reading. You want to understand how someone can treat their loved ones this way, how it goes unnoticed by those around them, and how the victim keeps silent for so long.
I definitely recommend this one. The writing is smooth and never feels slow or long-winded. Despite the upsetting content, I wanted to get back to it every day. I wanted to know more about Teressa and her family.
I received a free digital copy of this book via NetGalley.
I definitely recommend this one. The writing is smooth and never feels slow or long-winded. Despite the upsetting content, I wanted to get back to it every day. I wanted to know more about Teressa and her family.
I received a free digital copy of this book via NetGalley.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews