Psychovertical

by Andy Kirkpatrick

One of the world’s most accomplished mountaineers and big-wall climbers tells of his thirteen-day ascent of Reticent Wall on El Capitan in California. His account frames a challenging autobiography, by turns hilarious and gut-wrenching.

Genres: Climbing, Adventure, Mountaineering, Nonfiction, Biography, Travel, Outdoors

288 pages, Hardcover

First published October 7, 2008

About the author

Andrew Kirkpatrick is a British mountaineer, author, motivational speaker and monologist. He is best known as a big wall climber, having scaled Yosemite's El Capitan 30+ times, including five solo ascents, and two one day ascents, as well as climbing in Patagonia, Alaska, Antarctica and the Alps. He has also crossed Greenland by ski. In 2014 he guided Alex Jones up Moonlight Buttress, Zion National Park, raising £1.9 million for Sport Relief.

Kirkpatrick has worked in film and TV as a safety advisor and stunt rigger, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, as well as in programs for CBBC, ITN, BBC and BBC Scotland.

Reviews

[Damir · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book hiding in a tower of books on a shelf in the basement of Housmans, a “radical bookstore” in London. The shelf had a sign that said all the books that were there were priced at £1, but they charged me £2.

I was scared that I was going to suffer reading it after following the author in social media for a while, but this book is from before his public rants, if anyone is worried about that too. Also, the quote from a review that appears in the cover doesn’t represent at all why anybody should read this book.

I loved the style, the sincerity, how the author showed us the hidden world of his mind in such a naked way. Sometimes I didn’t get if some stories were intertwined for random reasons or because there was an artistic intention behind, and that confused me a bit. Also, there was a lot of exaggeration in the way the author presented risks, difficulty and other stuff, kind of what journalists write about climbing and mountaineering, but towards the half of the book this became more balanced and I felt the stories became more truthful.

Readers will judge a lot the behavior of the author. But that is mainly because he admits his mistakes and how his mind works, and how his behavior affects his loved ones, not like a lot of mountaineering writers that lie to themselves. I loved the sincere questioning, the constant reiteration of going back to the mountains looking for answers, and the motivation I got from the book to try new projects and write about them. And to love fully. Great book.

[Ignacio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved, loved LOVED this book. No mystical stories, just pure honesty. I felt identified with many things he mentioned about climbing. A great read!

[Alex Rogers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this again this week - and would give it 4 stars, if it werent for the irritating way the author has chopped the book up into a number of stories, done concurrently, in succeeding paragraphs. This is a device that can work - and does work for the main story of his climb of the Reticent Wall, interspersed with historical and biographical flashbacks. Buu then those flashbacks are in turn interspersed with other flashbacks, and them with more, and it all spirals out of control.

Apart from that - love his writing, his honesty, his mad Pom attitude to climbing, his ability to laugh at himself, and to be cruel to his climbing partners - all resonates strongly with my own Anglo-climber background.

[Carina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a spontaneous purchase but one that I for once did not regret. The book is written by Andrew Kirkpatrick, a climber and inspiration to many aspiring climbers out there.

Andrew Kirkpatrick writes about the perilous journey of soloing the Reticent Wall of the El Capitan in California, a task that seems impossible both for the reader, and himself. His book starts off as he is about to leave, the pleas of his wife heavy on his mind and the climb ahead rushing through his mind like a drug. As he leaves, sits down in the Taxi and gets a friendly warning of the driver to be careful out there, the book starts rolling the tape so to speak, and his life, his ambitions and journey is laid out in a "This is my Story" like fashion

This book progresses almost like a diary like step by step progress of his pitch climbs up the El Cap, intertwined with flash backs of his career in the climbing shop, and his near death encounters and tough climbs attempted with friends and colleagues. As we progress up each pitch in the "present" rocky surface of the El Capitan, Andrew retells the story of his childhood, explains his growing passion for climbing and how he came to start solo climbing.

His book is incredibly exhilarating, filled with tension, dreams and amazing recollections of hardships on walls, the technical aspects of climbers gears, partners and safety, intermingled with thoughts of his family. It is a book well worth reading if you are into climbing!

Check out his page on Amazon.

This is one of the hardest big wall climbs ever soloed by a British climber and Andrew Kirkpatrick made it to the top with all of his haul bags, a few dangerous steep falls and brutal determination

[Rory Armstrong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Climbing's MacBeth. In his books, Andy Kirkpatrick tells us about his many (mis-)adventures to the Alps, Patagonia, and Yosemite valley. He laces his climb of the Recient wall on El Capitan in Yosemite valley throughout the stories. Throughout the entire book, there is the recurring theme of his marriage and children, about whether he is doing the right thing or not. This is quite interesting as I'm sure any obsessive of anything (but climbers especially) would have to go through these thoughts if they are in a serious releationship. I deem him a cimbing MacBeth, as the book is effectively the story of how he murders his marriage and relationship, and the guilt he feels as he continues with his ambition.
A worthy read, but will be more enjoyed if you are already a some-what experienced climber (not necessarily alpanist) as it will aid with the visualisation. This was true for me as I read this book first when I had just begun climbing about 5 years ago, and again now, enjoying it more so now than then.

[Katya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Had to read it twice, because it's such an awesome book! Psychovertical is a collection of epics. None of the climbing books I've ever read had so many WTF moments; it’s a miracle that Andy is still alive. But aside from the mind-blowing stories of self-induced suffering and survival, what makes this book stand out is its wry humor and candidness. Andy's climbing goals are of grand scale, but he asks himself questions that are familiar to any small-scale climber. The book is truly endearing and captivating on many levels.

[L.M. Cooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this. It was honest and uncomplicated; the author isn't afraid to describe his flaws alongside - if not as a contributing factor to - his achievements. I am a bit mystified how he is still alive; it seems more by luck than judgement on occasion. There is humour and there is soul searching - even Andy doesn't seem to fully know why he is compelled to put himself through his near-impossible climbs, leaving his family behind.

Worth a read.

[Nicklas Karlsson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really insightful parts into a deeper aspects of climbing. Personally I don't feel like describing epics is easy, nor do I find reading them gripping (yet at least) which makes the book a bit repetitive for my liking. But other than that great!

"It was snowing" will always be in my mind when I write from now on!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this down. Andys writing style was very easy to read and kept me gripped all the way. A must if you're into climbing and mountaineering. Might just give you a taste for winter or big wall climbing!

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

The memoir-within-a-climb format worked quite well, and I mostly enjoyed the writing. But the story was a bit bland, and nothing grabbed me. The title is certainly appropriate, for Kirkpatrick's often unsafe approach to climbing.

> For most of the last few years I’d just felt more and more useless – the harder the route, the greater my apparent inadequacies. I didn’t see myself as a climber, yet climbing consumed me. Perhaps my problem was being married to someone who saw climbing only as a negative; there was no room for hero-worship or ego with Mandy. She saw through the bullshit. The greater the climb the greater the pain for her.

> All my confidence had left me, and now it was only blind fear of embarrassment that kept me going

[Michal Gajdos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn this was addictive!

[awesomatik.de · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,3 Sterne

Joah, nachdem ich Anfang des Jahres begeistert "The Push" von Tommy Caldwell gelesen habe, hatte ich hier etwas ähnliches spannendes erwartet.

Aber leider wurden diese Erwartungen enttäuscht. Ich fand es zum einen eher schlecht geschrieben. Und zum anderen fiel es mir schwer Sympathie für Andy Kirkpatrick zu entwickeln.

Obwohl er die krassesten Touren macht, war er für mich irgendwie uncharismatisch und noch egozentrischer als man es in diesem Business wohl ohnehin ist.

Viele Passagen wiederholen sich. Quasi jeden dritten Absatz erwähnt er, dass jede falsche Bewegung seinen sicheren Tod bedeuten würde. Danach müsste er eigentlich spätestens nach dem dritten Kapitel elendig verreckt sein.
Zudem gibt es viele technische Passagen. Hier habe ich diese Sicherung angebracht, da jene, blabla...

Die Beweggründe und Emotionen hinter seinem Wahnsinn werden dem Leser nicht so richtig klar (wobei ihm wohl auch nicht).

Die zweite Hälfte ist dann zum Glück etwas runder geschrieben und auch der Erzählrhythmus verbessert sich.

Aber insgesamt hatte ich mir mehr davon erhofft. Krasser Kletterer, mäßiges Buch. Schade

[Victor Germano · Rating 5 out of 5]

That's a letter I sent to Andy and a 1-on-1 feedback:


Thank you for your book!
Hello Andrew.
I came across PsychoVertical after looking for tips on rope soloing (only a crazy sexy idea at the time, but getting more and more my attention).
I'm brazilian, 30years old and I've been climbing for 2,5 years now.
What first started as a way to fight my big fear of heights, now has been a big part of my life, filling up my weekends away from work and gym hours during week.
I've become quite obsessive about climbing - reading all the books I could get my hands on, watching movies and training a lot. But somehow, being "indoors" has never got me satisfied as a climber. Living in Brazil, it was easy to go out and learn the pure magic of "real" outdoors climbing, and since last year I'm completely hooked. Totally afraid of this new world, but totally addicted: I love to struggle...
Then I bought your book. I can't tell you enough how it has influenced me as a climber and as a person. Specially when trying to describe the internal struggle you've been through on your life as a "normal" person and as a professional climber. I'm married and a fulltime entrepreneur (software company blablabla), trying hard to put it all together and enjoying life as an amateur climber.
Knowing that a super star athletes as you are real bone and flesh has led me on a road of self-knowledge and introspection on life, making me question a few assumptions and creating a better view of myself. Reading about your life has improved my own. Thank you
Nowadays, whenever heading to a difficult climb or trying to push my limits (attacking an A3+ route for me), my new mantra is "What would Andy do?" - and usually I get the same answer: "double check security and move on. Eventually it will get better"

[Tina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't deny that Andy Kirkpatrick is a very accomplished climber and I admire someone with dyslexia going through the effort of publishing a book.
However, having read my share of books written by sport climbers and mountaineers, I admit I was dissappointed by this one. The author comes across as self-obsessed and so hungry for attention that it borders on a psychological condition. He seems to boast with the fact that he talked less experienced climbers into life-threatening expeditions. Not few of his partners dropped climbing after their experience, so it is not surprising that he did never have a permanent climbing partner. To abandon his pregnant wife and daughter to go on a dangerous solo climb he didn't even train for is reckless at best and his representation of himself as "not so brilliant a climber" sounds just fake.
Being a climber myself, I understand the appeal of difficult climbs and the fascination that free climbing inhibites, but Andy Kirkpatrick is just driven and reckless, without any regard for reason and safety - be it his partner's or his own. I'm sorry to say I'm neither fond of the author nor his writing, but I certainly wish he finds another way to give meaning to his existence.

Nevertheless, I liked the chapters alternately dealing with his present climb and previous experiences and the detailed descriptions of his expeditions. If I could, I would give 1.5 stars.

[Alana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book.

What I don't understand is the cover design. I purchased the paperback 2012 edition published by Mountaineers Books .... but it isn't Andy on the cover. It's another climber doing a completely different climb. Especially since the main focus of the book is him climbing the Reticent in Yosemite.

Once I started reading the book I had to keep flipping to the front cover and trying to understand why it was there. But once I got past that, I liked the way the book was organized and jumped around between different climbs and parts of his life.

As a mom and a climber, I couldn't imagine leaving my young child behind while I pushed myself to my limit in extreme conditions... but that's why this book is so interesting to me. Everyone can relate to conflicting interests and I like how he stays very open minded.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy the odd climbing book, and I enjoyed this, as a climber reflects on his previous adventures while making a solo ascent of The Reticent Wall on El Capitain in Yosemite. There was quite a lot of the "Why do I put myself through this?" Bonetti type meanderings as the story progressed, with the author constantly bemoaning how he hates being away from the wife and kid while it seems he lives to be away from the wife and kid. He never manages. despite the introspection, to get anywhere near the answer to himself, and sometimes I felt he needed a Bill McMillan "Stop moaning!" phone call to keep him on track.

[Reko Ukko · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Each pitch had been at the very limit of what was possible, connecting up minute and fragile features, stretching the rope out in order to drill the least number of bolts. This meant that huge falls threatened on most pitches, with many other dangers lurking. It was said that if you fell, you died. It was 'Pringles' climbing: once you pop you don't stop."

Andy Kirkpatrick's seminal book is worthy of all the praise and awards. Masterfully written, combining a timeline of hair-raising climbs, multiple lucky escapes and the juggling between being a father and a professional alpinist; this is one cracking good read!

[Nicholas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of survival...the survival of a narrative that could easily have become a boring repetitive and technical account of an ascent of El Capitan's Reticent wall.
What you get is an interesting personal and professional biography interspersed with a pitch by pitch account of his 14 day solo attempt of a big wall climb.The author gives a penetrative insight into the mindset of a man and his struggle to comprehend and justify his addiction to suffering untold horrors for no obvious reason.
Well worth reading even if you have little interest in the subject matter at hand.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book. I read it in English, but coudln't find that version on Goodreads.
An inspiring story, a must for all climbing enthusiasts or people interested in what's possible with determination, drive and a little madness.

[Steven Tata · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has been climbing for years, including 10 ascents of El Capitan, I think Andy does a great job of capturing many subtle and significant aspects of the experience. Psychovertical is well written and captivating.

[Amar Pai · Rating 4 out of 5]

He makes alpine climbing sound so unpleasant! A lot of self inflicted misery. Oddly compelling. He knows he's crazy.

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

I now have a strong desire to go to the alps...
nicely written, easy read- recommended for any climbers!

[Michael Hilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are into climbing this is a must read!

[Josh Bradshaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a fascinating portrait of a troubled mind.

As the title suggests, Kirkpatrick is definitely not a neurotypical person. He's bizarrely honest about his dissociation from other people and society. The most striking scene in the book for me was when he watche's his wife's first pregnancy end in stillbirth. Kirkpatrick remarks on how distraught his wife and the midwifes were, but admits that he felt nothing.

Kirkpatrick also muses about his intellectual deficiencies at length. He self diagnoses himself with conditions like dyslexia, and he dedicates an entire chapter to his struggle to learn to write. The main problems he identifies are his tendency to ramble and to over emphasize irrelevant details. Despite his awareness of these faults, the book still has both these problems in spades.

The redeeming value of the book is in the climbing stories, and the stories of overcoming his impoverished upbringing. These tales of struggle and wild adventure were just compelling enough to make me finish the book.

[Miles Gould · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you only read one book about mountaineering, it should be Andy Kirkpatrick's Psychovertical, the story of how his impostor syndrome led him to attempt ever-more desperate routes on sun-baked and/or ice-clad mountains all around the world, often climbing solo (so he knew he wasn't taking credit for his partner's skill); of the terrible strain this placed on his marriage and his family life; and of how he eventually made a semblance of peace with his demons high on Yosemite's super-hard Reticent Wall. The structure (alternating between chapters about the Reticent Wall and chapters about his life to that date) is more complex than that of most climbing books, but still easy to follow; the writing is compelling; the portrayal of his inner turmoil is wrenching.

[Evan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A repetitive book that was exciting and engaging at first, but needed to spend more time interrogating the most interesting questions that the author experienced ("Why am I doing this?", "How do I balance my family and climbing?"). There felt like there was little growth in this area throughout. There are only so many times I can read "If I make a mistake, I die" before it loses it's impact. When we finally got to the A5 pitch of Reticent, I was disengaged as he'd described expanding cracks and flakes and visions of falling and hitting his ledge so many different times.

This was my first foray into a climbing book, and I enjoyed it, but was not as engaged as I had hoped. I did think the writing was excellent, especially given the early description of his struggles with writing.

[Aadesh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliantly written!
"Everything seemed the same. I hadn't done anything. I hadn't changed up there - or if I had, I had quickly reverted to who I had been."
When we climb hard routes, we feel like that we have changed a lot but in reality the changes are subtle and most of the time invisible. Not every one comes back with a zeal and happiness for being alive. I love how Andy learned to do it by himself and didn't hold back from opportunities to climb with his idols when he was not ready and didn't have the required technical expertise. We are never fully ready for the big turns in our life. Just take a chance and move forward.

[Jack Rego · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s a lot of technical climbing phrases that didn’t mean much to me. What is clear is the authors singleminded infatuation with climbing that you can’t understand. Why did he put himself in so many near death situations is not clear. It’s still an interesting book for reading about the hardcore nature of his adventures. There’s nothing glamorous about climbing, it’s sheer hard work, determination and luck against Mother Nature.

[Helen Kirkbright · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book having little knowledge of climbing but I like autobiographies so thought I'd give it a go. The index at the end was helpful to get to grips with some of the terms and equipment name. It was an enjoyable read, Andy Fitzpatrick certainly has balls of steel I just wished it had been written in chronological order. The too-ing and fro-ing between different periods in his life was a bit confusing

[leonardo nava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, such a good read

Everyone should read. I’m grateful he shared his stories. I’m learning more about climbing and the amount I know makes me appreciate the boldness and accomplishments these climbers have undertaken.