From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers

by Bethany Dearborn Hiser

As a social worker, jail chaplain, and justice advocate, Bethany Dearborn Hiser pushed herself to the brink of burnout―and then kept going. Stress, despair, and compassion fatigue overwhelmed her ability to function. She was called to serve the abused, addicted, and homeless people in her community. Yet she was emotionally and spiritually exhausted. Something needed to change. Searching for answers, Hiser learned that trauma affects everyone who is exposed to it―not only those experiencing it firsthand. Psychologists call it "secondary trauma." She realized that she needed the very soul care that she was providing to others. From Burned Out to Beloved is Hiser's story of burnout, self-discovery, and spiritual renewal. But more than that, it's a trauma-informed soul care guide for all Christians working in high-stress, helping professions. Whether you're a social worker, therapist, pastor, teacher, or healthcare professional, From Burned Out to Beloved will equip you to confess your limitations, embrace your identity as a beloved child of God, and flourish in your vocation.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Leadership, Spirituality, Faith, Self Help, Theology

208 pages, Paperback

Published November 17, 2020

Reviews

[Janae Byler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated many of the practical steps Hiser gave in her book for intentional self care in the midst of a life full of giving to others. Most importantly though, she addressed that we need to uncover and work through the false beliefs and lies we believe when it comes to soul care, burnout, "saving" people, etc.

[Michelle O'Banion · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow...Wow .... WOW!!! I have not been able to put this book down, I have NOT been able to STOP Wonderfully thinking about her concepts. If you struggle with exhaustion or confusion in your giving of self THIS BOOK IS FOR Y♡U. We are conditioned by society (busy!) & sadly the church at times to serve no matter BUT we cannot truly love our neighbor until we truly learn how to love ourself as God sees, longs, hopes, for us. AND THIS IS NOT a self serving book, instead it will give us a new lens in which to view all the above. I cannot say enough good things about this book. And as a bonuses, Bethany references numerous sources to equip & encourage us towards balance. Take a deep sigh of relief, you'll be able to "breathe" better even after the very first chapter!!! How WE Thank You Bethany!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡" And the second commandment is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22:38‭-‬39 NIV

[Josh Samarco · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read For Spiritual and Soul Care

I’m grateful God uses the words of people and books to meet us at certain times in life but more specifically at times in the year. These words are so needed right now. Post pandemic crazy has my mind all over and the fatigued is real. I need these words to process and marinate on. If you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed and burned out, you need these words too.

[Tirza Kurtz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I will re-read and rave about many times!

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hiser's book is relevant and necessary right now. Much of what she offers in terms of soul care applies to wounded healers and those of us dealing with 2020 burn out. Covid, the election, family dynamics, and now winter have left many of us on empty and barely getting by. Hiser’s book is a call to lay down our heavy loads and rest.

Too often books like this fall flat on the practicals or make it sound like doing one thing will make it all better. Hiser gives tangible tips and practices for how to find rest and perspective. She also does a really brilliant job of putting the impetus for all of this back in its place.

Jesus took time to meditate and be still. He spent time with God first and even retreated from the crowds to recharge. Without God, it is on us to do it all. But when we rest, breathe, and reorientate the power structure, we are free to care for ourselves before we care for others.

I cannot highly recommend Hiser’s book enough. I have a feeling it will be one of the ones I return to again and again, I promise you, if you are willing to be still and let this book speak to you, you will find rest and recharge. If you are will to lay down the lies of busy and distraction you will be changed.

[Abbey Truslow · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this is a good book about burnout if you want a list of resources and every other book you should read to recover from burnout. Between that and all of the quotes and practices created by other authors, I don't really think there was much information the was genuinely hers, minus her story. If a list of resources and books to read is what you're looking for this is helpful, but I just kept listening to it thinking, "Why am I not reading that book when you're just quoting all of their ideas?"

[Kelly Hodgkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the brokenness of 2020, I picked up “ From Burned out to Beloved” by an author unknown to me, Bethany Dearborn Hiser. Within the first few chapters, she captured my heart and it felt like she’d been watching parts of my life, I related so well to her story. She tells it better than I could, so I won’t try and summarise it, but in essence, her work as a social worker, jail chaplain and justice advocate exposed her to a lot of vicarious trauma.

“It is the trauma that comes with repeatedly hearing the stories of and working with people in crisis.- From “From Burned Out to Beloved” by Bethany Dearhorn Hiser

This trauma, coupled with the need to help others, brought her to burn out. It is her journey from that low point through to beloved which she explores in this book with deep compassion and so much empathy for others like her, She explains the outline of the book as follows

“We will first look at the importance of living out of our identity as beloved children of God and of welcoming our woundedness. In part two, we’ll look at some barriers to caring for ourselves: the effects of secondary trauma, codependency, unmet needs, and personal beliefs. In part three, we’ll delve into ways of pursuing recovery. In part four, we’ll focus on learning to thrive in our work. Each chapter includes exercises to choose from in order to take small steps toward change. In the appendices you’ll find grounding practices and listening prayer exercises to aid in your work of recovery and healing. - From “From Burned Out to Beloved” by Bethany Dearhorn Hiser

Bethany delivers on each of these and more. Her life experience and training give her unique and poignant insights into the difficulties experienced in working through these symptoms. She explains the impact of continuing to work instead of heeding the warning signs

“When such patterns continue, they often lead to utter exhaustion and even symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Some feel so disillusioned and disheartened that they leave their work or ministry—and even their faith.” - From “From Burned Out to Beloved” by Bethany Dearhorn Hiser

Having built a rapport with the reader, once she has you nodding and saying “me too!”, she gently takes one’s hand and explains how to move forward. I loved these lines:

“Our own angst at seeing someone in pain may drive our actions, instead of us being led by God. We’re invited to grieve with and not try to fix others..” - From “From Burned Out to Beloved” by Bethany Dearhorn Hiser

It is far easier to try and fix than to weep with those who weep. This has been a year, now more than 2020, of not being able to fix anything or control much. COVID-19 has run roughshod over our desires to be with others and make their world better by doing something. We have been schooled in being. In the absence of doing, and in the pause, we’ve had to face the trauma of past and present.

“At times, we may experience rapid change and inner healing, but more often we grow through incremental change. We extend grace to ourselves day by day as new layers are revealed. We forget, make mistakes, and even relapse into old behavior. All of this is part of recovery.” - From “From Burned Out to Beloved” by Bethany Dearhorn Hiser

It is this incremental change that Bethany shares many practices and guidelines on. Meditations, reflections and books are offered as options. She invites us to choose one small thing to incorporate, that fits with us. I love the tailored and nuanced approach. Before I concluded reading the book, I started following Bethany on social media and have enjoyed her take on the ever more surreal news reel we have seen.

If you love the first 10% of this book, you’ll love all of it. It is challenging and caring in equal measure and I highly recommend it, it’s a five out of five on the enJOYment scale.

[Mechthild · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is Self-Care enough for you or would you prefer Soul Care?
In her book "From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers", published by InterVarsity Press, Bethany Dearborn Hiser, the director of soul care for Northwest Family Life, wants her readers to join her on a journey that weaves together trauma research, spiritual practices, addiction recovery, and inner healing. Although she has gained much from other's perspectives, her offerings largely stem from walking through the fire of her own burnout (p. 6). She states that soul care is not for the faint of heart, but it is essential. Hiser has divided her book into four parts: 1) Centering, 2) Unpacking, 3) Recovering, and 4) Thriving. This approach show already that recovering and thriving only can come when the centering and the unpacking is done. She covers topic such as "Wounded Healers", "Secondary Trauma", "False Beliefs", "Changing Beliefs and Behaviors", and "Discerning When to Say No and When to Say Yes".
Hiser is convinced that the path from Burned Out to Beloved is a journey. She states: "The practice of holistic, trauma-informed soul care tends to the whole self in order to be grounded in God, to thrive, and to love others as we love ourselves. It involves knowing who we are, how we're impacted by secondary trauma, and why we must be on an ongoing journey toward recovery and healing (p. 17)." She also considers soul care to be more than spiritual care. "It means tending to our inner psychospiritual life, which affects our whole self. The Hebrew understanding of self is holistic, with the body, soul, and spirit being interdependent. We are complex, intertwined beings, with our soul, body, mind, and emotions all amazingly interconnected."
Hiser supplements the chapters with quotes from the Bible or well-known personalities to emphasize her statements. She wants to get her readers engaged through reflection questions, exercises, and recommended resources at the end of each chapter. Furthermore, she offers Grounding Practices and Reflection and Prayer Exercises at the end of the book as challenge to take small steps toward change and as aid in the readers' work toward recovery and healing. The detailed notes at the end of the book are for reference and help to even deeper. I really appreciated Hiser's book because she is very open and honest in her approach to this topic. I recommend the book to all those who want to invest the needed work to move from being Burned Out to Beloved. It is a great book for social workers, therapists, pastors, other religious workers, teachers, healthcare professionals, and for those who have gone through burnout themselves.
The complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher free of charge. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
#FromBurnedOutToBeloved #InterVarsityPress #IVP

[MARIANNE · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a quiet brick of a book that, tossed through the window, can shatter the glass shielding us from deep, hard feelings. “From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers,” raises so many questions, there’s bound to be a few that sting. “What if we acknowledged our wounds instead of pretending they don’t affect us?” writes author Bethany Dearborn Hiser, a self-described “codependent social-justice workaholic.”

Secondary trauma in caregivers and providers can be a sinister undercurrent. “Extending grace to ourselves is essential as we face horrific realities and grapple with our own trauma and triggers. When I was in the midst of unhealthy workplace dynamics, I barely noticed them,” Dearborn Hiser explains. “Burnout can occur solely because of secondary trauma, and yet it’s often compounded by organizational culture and work-related stress.”

I enjoyed the many reflective resources and practices Dearborn Hiser offers, including ways these disciplines can be adapted. She recommends spiritual direction with psychological therapy since both are usually necessary for meaningful progress and burnout prevention. When paired with movement, joy, and real rest, individuals can reshape their self-perception and realign with healthy core beliefs.

“Taking care of ourselves is essential for our well-being as beloved children of God, allowing us to be effective and resilient, loving people instead of using those we serve to support or enhance our own sense of worth,” she comments. Denial can keep us from seeing and attending the wounds we ourselves suffer. “What if we reckoned with how we have experienced oppression or privilege and with how that has diminished our view of ourselves and others?”

Interspersed with biblical stories of desperation, healing, and reconciliation, “From Burned Out to Beloved” reads differently than other burnout prevention books. Her focus on the true goal sets aside the urge to strive harder. Jesus simply asked the broken people in front of him, “Do you want to be made well?” If you’re willing to make a fresh start, this understated book may be the companion you need. #BurnedOutToBeloved #BethanyDearbornHiser

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book comes at a time when many of my colleagues (I’m a pastor) are feeling more grief and exhaustion than I’ve ever seen. There are so many to care for, so many hurting people surrounding us, that it’s tempting to surrender ourselves for the sake of helping others. In today’s trauma and anger filled world, even the best of our intentions are often meet with rejection, too. As a result, pastors and other caregivers are burning out at record levels.

In From Burnout to Beloved, Ms. Hiser helps us caregivers to learn how to care for ourselves, see ourselves apart from our role, and rest into the things we often run from in order to heal.

I know my tendency toward a savior complex often leads me to try to “help” people when I ought to be teaching them to help themselves toward wholeness. The author helps caregivers in any field to spot their false thinking (for instance, I am only worth what I do and whom I help) and leads us toward a clear understanding of ourselves as beloved by God and gifted to serve, not required or burdened. I will be suggesting it to anyone I know in a field where care for others can overwhelm the giver.

[Matthew Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stop and pause.

I was intrigued by Bethanys book when I read the title as I have been reading many books with similar content recently. I was amazed at the content of the book that was able to connect with me. I am not like Bethany but do match as an Enneagram 2. As she mentioned that I started to see how our stories paralleled.

I enjoyed all the helpful resources, exercises and reflection questions at the end of each chapter. While sometimes I can get overwhelmed with all the other things in the book I found the suggestions freeing and welcomed adding things as I felt, rather than burdening myself with more and more.

As a pastor that cares for others this is a great reminder and warning for things to look for so that I don’t get burned out but need to always remember that I and you are a beloved child of God. Too often we can get wounded and not know how to heal, but Bethany takes a fresh look at an often crowded space of help books and allows freedom and God to move in my and your life!

Take a chance on this book if you are in the profession of helping out hers, because you too need care.

[Madi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not often that a book feels like it was written specifically for you but this one definitely felt like that. It is a book for people in helping professions to highlight secondary trauma, naming needs and desires, noticing behaviors, etc. to move from burnout to a place of recognizing our belovedness.

this book is also special because it was recommended by one of my favorite people and then another one of my favorite people bought it for me. So I feels like a book wrapped up in a lot of love!

I had realized that I was carrying some grief from my ministry but I would not of named it a secondary trauma. But this language is really helpful for me to notice what I am going through and how to better care for myself as a religious leader.

I also really love this book because of its appendices with practical resources to use. There are prayer walks, guided meditations, more books to look into, and a lot of great stuff. The only thing I didn’t love was this author tried to connect Rayce in ways that felt forced and performative.

But if you are in a helping profession, I highly recommend this!

[Brooke Eggen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this book 3 times so far since it came out. It's the kind of book I need to read once to get the lay of the land and then again to start to imagine what it could look like for me.

The 3rd time I led a group of my volunteers through the book.

I really appreciate Hiser's willingness to put herself out there and write about a rather taboo subject for believers. I also appreciate that she does a great job of giving little exercises to help with easing yourself into the practices of soulcare.

She also inspired me to look into the authors that inspired her.

Burnout is an epidemic in the church. People push and push themselves without stopping and then feel shame for their inability to keep going. Hiser encourages the reader to be aware of themselves and begin to allow their bodies and brains to inform them rather than be their slave. It is a partnership she wants the reader to cultivate that is ultimately meant to deepen and strengthen ones' relationship with Jesus.

So far, I continue to return to this book for reminders and pointers, for easy ways to help those around me get in touch with their inner-self and with God.

[Tehesha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book when I first read the title. After being in the field of Social Services for years, I experienced burn out and could have benefited from a resource such as this. I initially expected this book to be a run of the mill self-help book, but it was anything but. It was so much more. From Burned Out to Beloved taught me that soul care is not only okay, but it is necessary. Not only does it benefit me, but those around me as well. As a tool of self-discovery, this book allowed me to see that I was in need of healing just as much as the individuals I attempted to help. This does not take place independent of God, but with God. What I like about this book is the ability to go deeper. At the end of every chapter are reflections questions, exercises, and recommended resources to help you on your journey. There are also scripture references throughout the book. This book is a must read for individuals in various fields that have put their own care on the back burner as they care for others.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers is a gentle book, guiding the reader to rest in God's presence. The author writes from lived experience, drawing in the reader while creating awareness and healing space. I especially appreciated how each chapter contains relevant exercises, resources, and info on further reading so the reader can put each chapter's topics into practice. This book isn't one to set aside after reading but is a companion for spiritual growth, inner healing, and connection with God. It's relevant for both those in traditional helping professions, such as ministers, therapists, and social workers, as well as parents, teachers, and anyone who walks with others.

[Ryan King · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did this on audio and maybe it was the pacing because, despite wanting to like the narrator, it just felt like a drag and the narrator was a little too inflective. THAT SAID…

The book itself is a solid collection of Christian self-care approaches plus navigating ministry service burnout and trauma. The authors vulnerability weaves itself through the pages as they show how they navigated these spaces.

I can see this being a great book for someone new to this critical christian care space and I would even recommend it. It is a great collection of ideas to get someone to understand when they are on the track to burnout. Plus the author provides a lot of great resources beyond the pages.

For me it just didn’t punch home and maybe that’s because of listening to it rather than reading it.

[Sarah Sanchez · Rating 5 out of 5]

From Burned Out to Beloved came into my life at the perfect time. I read this book as part of a group with the author to put the methods laid out into practice. As a longtime Christian, faced with challenges that I couldn't handle alone, I found myself grappling with the concept that God's love was enough to sustain me. I BELIEVED it was, but I didn't KNOW it on a daily basis. I wasn't tangibly experiencing His love. I had never really explored the concept of soul care. This book helped give me hope and real life solutions to my circumstances. It is full of wisdom and excellent resources.

[Tim Dearborn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd read this book 20 years ago. As a burned out pastor, it has taken me decades to begin to acknowledge my addiction to my own "ministry." Hiser's book is an invitation and call to lean back into the arms of God and be renewed in the assurance of our belovedness in Christ. Through her own vulnerability, rich life experience, wide-ranging insights from other people, and wise sensitivity to the heart of God she opens up very practical pathways into deepening the movement of God's love from our heads to our hearts.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Working in Ministry I've experienced and seen others around me burnout. This book looks at the beliefs, needs, and behaviors of people in helping professions (social work, medicine, ministry, eduction, etc.) and builds a foundation for living out of an identity of God's Beloved. The author shares examples from her experience in Social work. I especially appreciated the reflection questions and daily/weekly practices in each chapter that gave me practical application for living out my identity as one God loves.

[Josiah Cedeño · Rating 4 out of 5]

To those who struggle with or aren’t familiar with a lot of these practices, this book will be groundbreaking.

Even as I’ve heard and begun to practice some of these rhythms, this book offered great reminders to prioritizing rest and rhythms that heal the soul as we embrace the love of Christ.

I would’ve loved more examples of her work, the ones she talked about were great but I do wish there was more space given to the stories of those she’s worked with especially in reference to rest and healing. Overall a fairly easy worthwhile read.

[Josh]

Excellent book. I feel like anyone who works directly with people... particularly as we come through this COVID season... should make time to read this book. It's a quick read... but it should not be read quickly. Hiser does an amazing job of providing great reflection questions... the content is excellent... but engaging with the questions would be icing on the cake. Will engage with and read again.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I needed this. It’s very easy to tell that Hiser knows what she’s talking about, and she does an amazing job walking through the material. The combination of story, research, Bible, theology, and practical application is spot on. If you are feeling burned out from a helping profession, get this book. It will be exactly what you need, and provide you with the further resources that you need to continue your healing.

[Rainer Erani · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did. Title is great and it might make you feel less alone if you’re experiencing the unique exhaustion that comes from working in a helping profession. But overall, I think I have found other books/resources on this topic better for me personally.

Not to sound flippy-floppy but, there is still a chance I’d recommend this to the right person. Overall, glad I read it, just didn’t feel like it was anything revolutionary.

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hiser writes insightfully and reflectively. Highly recommend to those in helping vocations, especially on the themes of secondary trauma and false beliefs--including neglecting self, setting boundaries, and internalizing certain notions.

While Hiser's personal account is powerful, it is but a singular and very specific perspective; a white, female author speaking much of privilege and feelings of guilt--thus not fully able to reach readers of diverse realities.

[Travis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really helpful book for Christians who work as pastors, chaplains, social workers, or any other care giving position. It provides a space to admit that we can’t do our work on our own and provides practical tools and resources to take care of ourselves. Well worth the read!

[Tina Mullener · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for caregivers. God created us just as we are. We are created to love and be loved. We are created to care for other and to be cared for. This book was a very grounded walk with a caregiver in her journey.

[Rebekah Gumm · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you don’t have much exposure to spiritual disciplines or an awareness of trauma, this would be an excellent place to start. She resources Curt Thompson, Aundi Kolber and Ruth Haley Barton throughout the book.

[Lori Neff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, helpful, and hopeful. I appreciate all of the practices that integrate body, mind, and spirit. This is such a timely book - so many people-helpers are hurting and exhausted.

[Benjamin Shurance · Rating 4 out of 5]

It bothered me that the Kindle edition didn't have foot- or endnotes.

[Brandon Howlett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recommend. Part 1 is stronger than parts 2 and 3. Felt repetitive after chapter 1. Most of the content seems to come from Nouwens works so it may be helpful to read those first.