How Can Women Thrive in the Local Church?

Church Questions

by Keri Folmar

Experience the Fullness of God's Grace in the Local Church

Many new believers have questions about what it means to live as a Christian in the context of a local church, and pastors are looking for resources to pass along to their congregations to help them think biblically about the Christian life. Church Questions is a series by 9Marks that seeks to provide Christians with sound and accessible biblical teaching by answering common questions about church life. Each booklet offers biblical answers and practical applications with the goal of nurturing healthy church practice and commitment.

Women are constantly bombarded with advice related to self-empowerment. But in the midst of all of this advice, what does it look like for women to truly thrive as Christians? In this short booklet, Keri Folmar presents 8 essential principles to help women fully engage in the context of the local church, such as prioritizing church membership and involvement, investing in meaningful discipling relationships, and not allowing conflict or bitterness to fester. Through this resource, women will come away with helpful ideas on how to experience the fullness of God's grace as they seek out biblical community with other believers.

Genres: Christian, Church, Womens, Christian Living, Theology, Christianity, Ecclesiology

64 pages, Paperback

Published March 30, 2021

About the author

Keri Folmar is the wife of John Folmar, pastor of the United Christian Church of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, and the mother of three children. In a previous life, as chief counsel of House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution, she was staff writer of the Partial Birth Abortion Ban.

Reviews

[Emma Hackel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A comprehensive overview of how women can and should live their lives within the context of the local church, highlighting the many blessings and warning against common sin - something that is not spoken enough about between sisters in the church, in my opinion. Stories of women in many stages and situations make this book’s advice trustworthy for a diverse audience, and timeless as its principles are scripturally based.

I appreciated her discussion on serving - that we ought to “sit more than we serve” pointing to the centrality of the preaching of God’s Word as God’s people gather. She also talked about consumerism. I believe this is something worth assessing on both sides: do we consume at church or do we enable others to be?

[Olivia Hogan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of weird review, but I wanted to give the reasoning for my rating. The author does answer the question to the title of the pamphlet, and I believe she answers it rightly. That being said, I think the author fails to highlight or mention joy, which I think is pretty crucial! I attend an amazing complementarian church (it’s much more than that by God’s grace but for the sake of the argument, I’ll just say this) in which in my experience, my gifts and abilities from the Lord have been encouraged, spurred on, sharpened, and exercised! There are also many many amazing women in my church who I look up to, and whose gifts are exercised as well on which our whole church body benefits from! A common theme in all these ladies is a joy that comes from the Lord and a joy that comes from exercising their gifts in the local body and I think this is a point that cannot be missed!

[Allie Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the main things I’ve learned the past few months post-grad and working for a church is the simple joy it is to be a part of the local church. It’s God’s gift to us, and the means by which He makes the Gospel go forth on this earth. Highly recommend to all ladies who want to grow in their love for the local church, or church staff members who desire to show this great joy to others.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short (50 small pages), compelling, and clear, my heart was beating faster reading about the beauty of the church (that I miss so much!!)

If you ever hear people say you can be a Christian but not go to church this tiny book is coaching for us and an encouragement to them about WHY the church is actually the biggest benefit to us and why we need it so badly

[Shannon Evanko · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so thankful to be able to “amen” throughout this little book as a member of a church where women can thrive. This is a wonderful resource!

[Matthew McDougale · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book that I think can be encouraging to the sisters in the faith, and yet good for our fellow brothers to understand and be able to encourage our fellow sisters in the faith.

[Cheyenne Brunet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very simple but sweet and encouraging read! Would recommend to any woman!

[Eva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and sweet! To the point. Solid read.

[Renee Masterson Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a helpful little book. It took me only 30 minutes to read. “How Can Women Thrive in the Local Church?” is a legit question and this book delivers the answer through 8 heart-checking, soul-reviving points.

What a magnificent blessing the local church is, and I know she grew a little more imperfect the day I graced the doors, but in another perhaps more complete sense, the church looked more like it should once I did; and I have seen first hand the impact of what joining myself to a people where God is working can do in my own life. I would be malnourished (physically as well as spiritually, lol) and spiritually weak without my dear church family. “An arm or a leg won’t thrive if it’s disconnected from the body. So also you can’t thrive spiritually as a Christian if you’re not a committed member of a local church” (18). Folmar shows biblically the importance of committing to a people, joining in offered gathering times, serving each other, living life daily with one another, resolving bitterness, and joyfully sitting under your pastor’s teaching. *Folmar does acknowledge pastoral overreach and false teachings that can sometimes be present in the church and recommends leaving immediately; conversely, she also says how we are “not to approach our pastors with suspicion or critical spirits” (34) but reminds us to be a joy for our pastor to shepherd for our own advantage (35; Hebrews 13:17).
Folmar makes note of several relatable situations and people you can mentally picture or place in your own church, that is a strength of this tiny little book.

These 51 pages made me all the more grateful for the wonderful women who spur me on to look more like Jesus, and it encouraged me to walk as a Christ-exalting daughter, sister, mother for the building up of my church family to the glory of God.

[Jeremy Mueller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Splendid meditations on the beauty of the local church in establishing, stimulating, and sustaining spiritual growth in the lives of women. Keri’s little booklet stands on Scripture, is saturated with hope, and is substantively practical. Particularly helpful for women, obviously, but I think brothers in the church would be helped and encouraged by Keri’s insights as well. Knowing how to encourage women in the church and to esteem the glorious responsibilities that God gives them is a needed practice in the church. I love this “Church Questions” series from 9Marks. You don’t have to read a full-form book to glean biblical wisdom about the Christian life!

[Stuart Mckimm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scriptural, practical, & helpful for men too!

Found myself really helped in serving my brothers and sisters in Christ better, as well as how to help women in the church be at home and healthy in a congregation.

[Matt Gurtler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ușoară de citit, păstorală, și importantă. N-am știut că această carte este adresată anume femeilor, dar oricum am luat din ea un îndemn și o încurajare să-mi iubesc biserica locală mai mult. Folmar scrie cu experiența personală despre apatie fața de biserică, și cu claritate biblică despre motivele pentru care fiecare creștin trebuie să facă parte unei biserici locale. Deși sfaturile ei sunt pentru femei, sunt relevante pentru oricine, nu este o aplicație ingustă.

Unicul meu gând critic este că în vestul biserica este alcătuită mai ales de femei, deci se pare că este mai mare nevoie de a-i încuraja pe bărbați să prețuiască biserica locală. Totuși, sunt multe cărți adresate bărbaților, păstorilor, și slujitorilor, care nu sunt prea relevante pentru femei, și această carte scurtă restabilește puțin echilibriu!

O recomănd femeilor, și nu doar.

[Christian Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Folmar provides a biblical model for how women can serve and be served by the bride of Christ. This book doesn’t just lock women into cooking for potlucks or serving in children’s ministry, but shows how the Lord has given women a multitude of gifts to serve the church. Folmar also focuses on an aspect that is particularly prone to those who are married to pastors, namely that pastor wives can be isolated in only serving. Folmar walks through how women in these positions are also called to partake in being fed by the bride as a whole as well as serve it. This is a helpful and biblical call for the role of women in the church outside of leadership roles.

[Troy Nevitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, basic, primer on how to be involved and blessed the most in a local church. Much of this book is applicable for both men and women, though Folmar has a wonderful touch that writes in a way I would expect appeals to women well.

The only minor comment (not a critique though) is to make sure you don't read the part where she became a member, which led to her getting married, and assume it will happen for you too. It might, and I hope if you're looking, you find him, but I would feel horrible if someone read that and felt disappointed if it didn't work out.

[Kyle Pendley · Rating 4 out of 5]

8 Essentials for Thriving in the Local Church:

(by Keri Folmar)

1. You must be alive in Christ.
2. Join a local church.
3. Prioritize the weekly gathering.
4. Sit more than you serve.
5. Embrace the church as family.
6. Don’t let conflict or bitterness fester.
7. Look for needs and meet them.
8. Bring the church home.

[JonEllen Blanco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely practical ways to think about church as family. I think this is a great resource for all women. Thriving in the local church or struggling to do so. It’s also great for men to understand their sisters, wives, and mothers in the church.

[Joshua Boyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely written for women to read, but 7 of the 8 points are arguably applicable relatively equally to both genders. That was good for me as I benefitted from some solid Scriptural reminders. Not much for me to chew on though as I continue to think on and develop my beliefs on women in ministry

[Josh Loomis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read! Short, encouraging, scripture filled, acknowledges women’s unique challenges while also not shying too far from just a general encouragement to be part of the church which is what men need also!

[Sarah McComber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Should really be titled “how PEOPLE thrive in the church”. The Ideas presented are not limited to just women. A Great practical read!

[Audrey Hood · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, short and practical encouragement for women to be engaged (and genuinely thrive) in the local church.

[Cory Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read these booklets

[Natalia Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

great foundational truths for honestly anyone to know!! sweet to hear personal testimonies of the Lord using women in his church- book was different than i expected but still good!

[Emma S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and simple. A helpful summary of what it looks like for anyone - not just women - to be a church member, rather than a Sunday-attender.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short little booklet packed with simple, yet eternally, important truth I pray will be applied to all of us Christian women! 🙏

[Amber Thiessen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sister, do you feel like you are thriving in your local church?

Thriving.

Not just attending.

Not merely participating.

But truly thriving.

To thrive means to grow and develop well or vigorously. In this booklet, “How Can Women Thrive in the Local Church?” Keri Folmar encourages us to “enjoy the fullness of God’s grace available for you in the gospel and experience this joy in meaningful, life-giving relationships with the people of God in a local church.”

She provides eight essential elements that contribute to our thriving in the church that propel us toward intentional growth:

You must be alive in Christ. If we are attached to Jesus the vine, we are attached to the church.

Join a local church. Becoming a committed member to the community.

Prioritize the weekly gathering. Placing a high priority on worshiping together in
community.

Sit more than you serve. While this is likely more of a struggle before the pandemic, as women we can get caught up in serving, sometimes failing to sit in the service. Loving God’s people is particularly important and are also a part of thriving, yet we need to be aware of how much time we spend acts of service in contrast to the time we spend hearing the teaching of the Word.

Embrace the church as a family and be a mother, and a sister. Develop intentional relationships with other women, are we treating the church as a club we frequent on the weekends, or as a family?

Don’t let conflict and bitterness fester. The bride of Christ is not a collection of perfect, righteous people. There are hurts, offenses and disagreements that occur. The beauty of the bride is never found in her perfection, but in her forgiveness. We are a picture of the gospel as we confess our sins to each other and seek out reconciliation.

Look for needs and meet them. This requires us to pay attention to those around us with prayerful, searching eyes.

Bring the church home. Enjoy sharing the gift of hospitality, to continue getting to know the people you worship with. During the pandemic, this is obviously not going to happen a lot, but perhaps there are ways to become creative in sharing this gift.
“We simply can’t thrive spiritually apart from the church”
While in this season of lockdowns, social distancing and restrictions, there are aspects of our community life that are hindered. Less gathering means less serving. Invitations to enjoy each others’ hospitality are on hold, for now. It’s not ideal. It’s also not in our control.

With a deep breath, even in our present circumstances, we can take an honest look at our involvement within our local church and discover areas we can become creative and intentional in our participation and relationships. There are good examples of these connections, as women have continued to reach out, some by building small group meetings on Zoom, through group messaging for encouragement, or by checking in with individuals for prayer requests.

While living relationships only through screens can't substitute face-to-face, it can help us get through these times, establishing prayerful connections and Word-filled inspirations.

As life continues to shift around us, may we become women who thrive in our local churches, for the glory of God and the good of others.


*I received a complimentary copy of this book as part of the Crossway Blog Review Program. A big thanks to the publisher for the copy and the opportunity to post an honest review.

**Find the full blog post here: https://www.amberthiessen.com/post/ho...

[Lisa Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Concise booklet, easy to read, and provides Biblical support for the importance of the local church and how to thrive there

[Megan Triplett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful! Short, concise, biblical, helpful!

[Dianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice, fast read contains 8 essential elements for women to thrive in the local church.

Recognizing that each of these elements are accomplished in Christ, by the strength of the Spirit, the author explains how women ought to engage in the local church through learning and serving.

I really appreciate her admonition to join a church, to make it a life priority to attend weekly gatherings, and to “sit more that you serve”. How important it is to take every opportunity to sit under the preaching and teaching of God’s Word; to truly abide in it, meditate on it, and be transformed by it.

And, of course, a good, practical book will often come with some good old conviction too, and so I thank the author for that!!! Sharing sone of the examples and experiences of others, she hit on something that was my circumstance precisely, and it has definitely got me thinking and praying, as a curd as been struck.

I look forward to sharing this book with other women, in my own journey to encourage women to grow as serious students of God’s Word, to value the importance of the local church, and to more fully understand the opportunities that exist to serve, learn and grow in the Kingdom of God.

[Cassi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a super short volume meant to help women see that “the way for us [women] to truly thrive is to build our lives around Jesus and the local church” (p. 50). If a woman feels like she’s failing or struggling in her walk with the Lord, perhaps it isn’t because her church isn’t offering her the right programs or positions, but because she isn’t embracing the church for what God designed it to be. Join a local church if you haven’t already. Prioritize the weekly corporate gathering. Sit under the ministry of the Word. Embrace the church as your family, looking to meet their needs and allowing your life to intertwine with others’ lives. There is no category for a healthy, thriving Christian who isn’t connected to a local church. None of this was particularly new or revolutionary to me, but they were good reminders.

[Luke Seibert · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the heart behind the book, and I agree with the main points the author made. This is written for a female audience, but it can have benefit for a wider readership. Each of the eight elements can spark further reflection and study. The biggest drawback I saw with the pamphlet is the lack of nuance. Granted, a short work like this can’t develop thoughts in great depth, but I fear some parts could be misleading. For instance, a reader might unnecessarily doubt their salvation if they don’t have a strong desire to be part of a local church. I also take respectful issue with with the comments about Sunday evening service; I fear that part went beyond Scripture. Again, I appreciate the heart behind this book. If this is read and discussed in community, I see how it can be helpful. I would be cautious about giving it to someone to read without any follow up discussion.