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With or Without You
New York Times bestselling author Caroline Leavitt writes novels that expertly explore the struggles and conflicts people face in their search for happiness. For the characters in With or Without You, it seems at first that such happiness can come only at someone else’s expense. Stella is a nurse who has long suppressed her own needs and desires to nurture the dreams of her partner, Simon, the bass player for a rock band that has started to lose its edge. But when Stella gets unexpectedly ill and falls into a coma just as Simon is preparing to fly with his band to Los Angeles for a gig that could revive his career, Simon must learn the meaning of sacrifice. Stella’s best friend, Libby, a doctor who treats Stella, must also make a difficult choice as the coma wears on.
When Stella at last awakes from her two-month sleep, she emerges into a striking new reality where Simon and Libby have formed an intense bond, and where she discovers that she has acquired a startling artistic talent of her own: the ability to draw portraits that capture the subjects' their innermost feelings and desires. Stella’s whole identity, but also her role in her relationships, has been scrambled, and she has the chance to form a new life, one she hadn’t even realized she wanted.
A story of love, loyalty, loss, and resilience, With or Without You is a page-turner that asks the question, What do we owe the other people in our lives, and when does the cost become too great?
When Stella at last awakes from her two-month sleep, she emerges into a striking new reality where Simon and Libby have formed an intense bond, and where she discovers that she has acquired a startling artistic talent of her own: the ability to draw portraits that capture the subjects' their innermost feelings and desires. Stella’s whole identity, but also her role in her relationships, has been scrambled, and she has the chance to form a new life, one she hadn’t even realized she wanted.
A story of love, loyalty, loss, and resilience, With or Without You is a page-turner that asks the question, What do we owe the other people in our lives, and when does the cost become too great?
304 pages, Paperback
First published August 4, 2020
273 people are currently reading
9670 people want to read
About the author
Caroline Leavitt
45 books826 followersCaroline Leavitt is the New York Times bestselling author of Cruel Beautiful World, Is This Tomorrow, With or Without You, Pictures of You (Algonquin Books), which. Pictures of You was on the Best Books of the Year lists from the San Francisco Chronicle, The Providence Journal, Bookmarks and Kirkus Reviews. It was also a Costco Pennie's Pick. Is This Tomorrow was long listed for the Main Readers Prize, a WNBA Reading group Choice, A San Francisco Chronicle Lit Pick/Editor's Choice, a Jewish Book Club Pic and the winner of an Audiofile Earphones Award.
Her 13th novel DAYS OF WONDER will be published by Algonquin/Hatchette in the spring of 2024.
The winner of a New York Foundation of the Arts Grant, a second prize winner in Goldenberg Fiction Prize, A Sundance Screenwriting Lab Finalist, a Nickelodeon Screenwriting Fellowship Finalist and a National Magazine Award Nominee, Leavitt is a senior writing instructor at UCLA and Stanford online and a freelance manuscript consultant. Her work has appeared in New York Magazine, Psychology Today, Salon,More, and more.
She has been featured on The Today Show and profiled in the New York Times.
You can reach her through www.carolineleavitt.com. On twitter @leavittnovelist. On Instagram @carolineleavitt and FB https://www.facebook.com/carolineleav... @carowriter99
Her 13th novel DAYS OF WONDER will be published by Algonquin/Hatchette in the spring of 2024.
The winner of a New York Foundation of the Arts Grant, a second prize winner in Goldenberg Fiction Prize, A Sundance Screenwriting Lab Finalist, a Nickelodeon Screenwriting Fellowship Finalist and a National Magazine Award Nominee, Leavitt is a senior writing instructor at UCLA and Stanford online and a freelance manuscript consultant. Her work has appeared in New York Magazine, Psychology Today, Salon,More, and more.
She has been featured on The Today Show and profiled in the New York Times.
You can reach her through www.carolineleavitt.com. On twitter @leavittnovelist. On Instagram @carolineleavitt and FB https://www.facebook.com/carolineleav... @carowriter99
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 492 reviews
December 3, 2020
This is sad, astonishing, intense and realistic story about life, death, choices we made, opportunities, paths we get to shape up our lives! This is about heartbreak, loneliness, self-discovery, insecurities, love, trust, friendship!
The characters are flawed, trapped in their lives because they’re stuck in wrong thought patterns prevent them make changing about their lives or seeing the things objectively. Three main characters cannot move on because they are both scared to take risks and know what to do if they face with their worst fears in their lives but a traumatic experience force them to discover nothing stays the same and change is mandatory.
Stella and Simon are in relationship for 2 decades, not married, barely making their ends meet, living college students’ lives even though they’re in their 40s, rejecting to grown up. Stella wants to settle down, moving to a bigger apartment, applying for mortgage, having a baby. She is already the responsible one, working at the hospital as a nurse, paying the bills, supporting her very-long time boyfriend’s career choices.
But Simon still rejects to act like a rock star of his underrated band, making his own music and waiting for the big opportunity that their band may get and finally his prayers are answered. His band got an offer which may kick-start their big come-back and bring the fame and popularity they have been looking for. He plans to go to LA with his gig and asks Stella accompany with him just like they did at the old days of their lives.
Stella doesn’t want to go or she wants changes in her life. She wants Simon listens to her. They argue and she wants things go back to normal as like old days. So she makes a mistake to ask Simon give her a pill. For one night, she doesn’t want to fight or suffer from their angsty unhealthy relationship. For one night she doesn’t want to feel heartbroken or think their relationship is falling apart.
She drinks too much when she is already showing symptoms of flu and as soon as she pops up the pill, she realizes something is wrong. Next day she cannot wake up.
Stella is in coma. Simon loses his opportunity to go to LA for his big start that he thought his life would change forever and maybe he moved there and left Stella behind for another beginning. But here he is now! Waiting for his longtime girlfriend’s waking up, meeting with Libby who is close friend of Stella emotionally supports him and reconnecting with Stella’s mother who came back from Spain as soon as she found out her daughter’s situation.
We learn more about Libby; who still blames for herself for her brother’s dying and chose to be a doctor because that was her brother’s dream and she wants to help and save people’s lives to compensate that she hasn’t brought her brother back from death. She already knows Simon’s selfishness throughout Stella’s confessions and she judges him from the beginning but after Stella wakes up from her coma and she doesn’t act like herself and builds barriers between her and her loved ones, both of them help each other to bring her back to her old self. But old Stella is already gone!
I loved the parts about Simon’s growing up and changing his life direction and I mostly enjoyed Stella’s self-discovery part and reconnecting with her new talent, her intense communication with people by drawing their pictures and bringing out their real emotions on the pages.
I think from the beginning I hate Libby and I didn’t want to read her story as a third part. This story should have been only about Stella and Simon: their mistakes, their life choices, their aches, their resentments, their fight to gather their broken pieces of their relationship and of course Libby affected their lives but I wish she may have stayed as a supporting character of the book. I wish I may have read more parts about Simon and Stella instead of reading detailed back story of her.
Overall: This is emotional, well-written, remarkable story and I loved the conclusion. That was not an ending but just now beginnings about the characters’ stories which I liked it most!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for sharing this unique Arc with me in exchange my honest review.
The characters are flawed, trapped in their lives because they’re stuck in wrong thought patterns prevent them make changing about their lives or seeing the things objectively. Three main characters cannot move on because they are both scared to take risks and know what to do if they face with their worst fears in their lives but a traumatic experience force them to discover nothing stays the same and change is mandatory.
Stella and Simon are in relationship for 2 decades, not married, barely making their ends meet, living college students’ lives even though they’re in their 40s, rejecting to grown up. Stella wants to settle down, moving to a bigger apartment, applying for mortgage, having a baby. She is already the responsible one, working at the hospital as a nurse, paying the bills, supporting her very-long time boyfriend’s career choices.
But Simon still rejects to act like a rock star of his underrated band, making his own music and waiting for the big opportunity that their band may get and finally his prayers are answered. His band got an offer which may kick-start their big come-back and bring the fame and popularity they have been looking for. He plans to go to LA with his gig and asks Stella accompany with him just like they did at the old days of their lives.
Stella doesn’t want to go or she wants changes in her life. She wants Simon listens to her. They argue and she wants things go back to normal as like old days. So she makes a mistake to ask Simon give her a pill. For one night, she doesn’t want to fight or suffer from their angsty unhealthy relationship. For one night she doesn’t want to feel heartbroken or think their relationship is falling apart.
She drinks too much when she is already showing symptoms of flu and as soon as she pops up the pill, she realizes something is wrong. Next day she cannot wake up.
Stella is in coma. Simon loses his opportunity to go to LA for his big start that he thought his life would change forever and maybe he moved there and left Stella behind for another beginning. But here he is now! Waiting for his longtime girlfriend’s waking up, meeting with Libby who is close friend of Stella emotionally supports him and reconnecting with Stella’s mother who came back from Spain as soon as she found out her daughter’s situation.
We learn more about Libby; who still blames for herself for her brother’s dying and chose to be a doctor because that was her brother’s dream and she wants to help and save people’s lives to compensate that she hasn’t brought her brother back from death. She already knows Simon’s selfishness throughout Stella’s confessions and she judges him from the beginning but after Stella wakes up from her coma and she doesn’t act like herself and builds barriers between her and her loved ones, both of them help each other to bring her back to her old self. But old Stella is already gone!
I loved the parts about Simon’s growing up and changing his life direction and I mostly enjoyed Stella’s self-discovery part and reconnecting with her new talent, her intense communication with people by drawing their pictures and bringing out their real emotions on the pages.
I think from the beginning I hate Libby and I didn’t want to read her story as a third part. This story should have been only about Stella and Simon: their mistakes, their life choices, their aches, their resentments, their fight to gather their broken pieces of their relationship and of course Libby affected their lives but I wish she may have stayed as a supporting character of the book. I wish I may have read more parts about Simon and Stella instead of reading detailed back story of her.
Overall: This is emotional, well-written, remarkable story and I loved the conclusion. That was not an ending but just now beginnings about the characters’ stories which I liked it most!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for sharing this unique Arc with me in exchange my honest review.
September 3, 2020
Caroline Leavitt's new novel,
With or Without You
, is gorgeous, emotional, and thought-provoking.
“Any moment, something amazing can happen.”
Stella and Simon have been together for years. Stella, a nurse, is the responsible one, while Simon, a musician, keeps dreaming of a future that will probably never happen.
Now in their early 40s, Stella wants to settle down—maybe buy their apartment, have a baby. The evening before Simon is scheduled to leave for a two-day gig that he and his fellow band members hope might finally break things open for them, he and Stella argue about their future. Then, after they both take a pill, Stella has an adverse reaction that causes her to fall into a coma.
Simon sacrifices his dreams to care for Stella, and remains vigilant throughout her two-month coma. He finds himself drawing closer to Libby, one of Stella’s doctors and best friends. Yet when Stella wakes things are so different—suddenly she has an immense talent to draw people’s portraits and see their innermost feelings.
Stella’s awakening also exposes old and new feelings for each of them, forcing them to examine their pasts and their futures.
I absolutely love the way Caroline Leavitt writes, but this book is fantastic. There’s such a poignancy to this story but it really makes you think, too, about how you might react if you were in the situations in which the characters find themselves. But beyond that, Leavitt makes insightful commentary on what love makes us do.
I’m grateful to be part of the blog tour for this book. NetGalley and Algonquin Books provided an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2019 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2019.html.
Check out my list of the best books of the decade at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/my-favorite-books-of-decade.html.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
“Any moment, something amazing can happen.”
Stella and Simon have been together for years. Stella, a nurse, is the responsible one, while Simon, a musician, keeps dreaming of a future that will probably never happen.
Now in their early 40s, Stella wants to settle down—maybe buy their apartment, have a baby. The evening before Simon is scheduled to leave for a two-day gig that he and his fellow band members hope might finally break things open for them, he and Stella argue about their future. Then, after they both take a pill, Stella has an adverse reaction that causes her to fall into a coma.
Simon sacrifices his dreams to care for Stella, and remains vigilant throughout her two-month coma. He finds himself drawing closer to Libby, one of Stella’s doctors and best friends. Yet when Stella wakes things are so different—suddenly she has an immense talent to draw people’s portraits and see their innermost feelings.
Stella’s awakening also exposes old and new feelings for each of them, forcing them to examine their pasts and their futures.
I absolutely love the way Caroline Leavitt writes, but this book is fantastic. There’s such a poignancy to this story but it really makes you think, too, about how you might react if you were in the situations in which the characters find themselves. But beyond that, Leavitt makes insightful commentary on what love makes us do.
I’m grateful to be part of the blog tour for this book. NetGalley and Algonquin Books provided an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!!
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2019 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2019.html.
Check out my list of the best books of the decade at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2020/01/my-favorite-books-of-decade.html.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
December 3, 2020
Audiobook...read by the long-time-gifted voice narrator, Julia Whealan
Between the seamlessly, provocative, and suspenseful written words and the prognosticating experience of how incredibly addicting ‘audiobook-listening’ can be —[when it is — and this is] —
the team-combination between Caroline Leavitt’s deliciously brilliant contemporary story.....and Julia Whealan’s invigorating -reading-aloud-skills.....
“With or Without Me”.....is deliciously messy-wrongfully seductive-freshly engrossing- and compellingly irresistible.
Stella, a nurse, was in relationship with Simon, a guy in a band.
I’ve got to share a little funny. Years ago, our younger daughter was living in Los Angeles. I knew she was seeing one particular guy exclusively. I asked, “how are things with you and ?” ... ( I forget his name)
My daughter responded....”Pretty good for a guy-in-a-band”.
I laughed.
I laughed much less when months later, I received a 2am phone call on New Years Eve. Ali called home crying....
Why? She fell asleep on his couch...( they had been drinking, it was late, she dropped off to slumberland). When she woke up she saw “guy-in-a-band” in his bed with another woman.
Yikes!!! She had been drinking and knew she couldn’t drive home either.
Somehow she made it through the night. Band-guy kept trying to call her for weeks and weeks and weeks ( sent flowers, dozen of phone call messages), begging forgiveness — that he didn’t know what he was doing that night —he was drunk and it was New Year’s eve he loved her and would do anything to get our daughter back.
Know what she told him?:
“Ok, buster.... you call my mom and dad and convince them that you’re not an asshole, and if you can do that I will take you back”.
I laughed.
“Should I expect a phone call from Band Guy, I asked Ali?”
“Hell no”....
And I never did.
I was proud of our daughter...SHE FELT THE HURT...IT FELT F#CKING AWFUL....but then she let it go. He wasn’t worth it.
I share the above little story.... because it’s an added treat when a thought-provoking book returns us to old memories ourselves....
don’t you think?
Besides....I don’t want to spoil anything.
.....The writing is marvelous....
.....The characters are multi dimensional....(worth spending time with them)
.....Betrayals, surprises, questions to contemplate....
I went in blind ( other than I had the opportunity to be on a Zoom call with the author) Caroline Leavitt is very likable ...smart too....
She talked about everything ‘but’ this story.
No spoilers from her either.
I figure I’d follow Leavitt’s lead....share next to nothing.
Other than to end this ( semi-review), by saying I enjoyed the cerebral aspects - the psychological developments - the human exploration of these human relationships.
Perfect fit for the times when often easily distracted.. This book has enough substance to be meaningful.....but not too top-heavy to add more mass to our every day pandemic & political concerns.
*A* rating from me 🎧📚🎸🍷💊🍷🎨🤷♀️
Between the seamlessly, provocative, and suspenseful written words and the prognosticating experience of how incredibly addicting ‘audiobook-listening’ can be —[when it is — and this is] —
the team-combination between Caroline Leavitt’s deliciously brilliant contemporary story.....and Julia Whealan’s invigorating -reading-aloud-skills.....
“With or Without Me”.....is deliciously messy-wrongfully seductive-freshly engrossing- and compellingly irresistible.
Stella, a nurse, was in relationship with Simon, a guy in a band.
I’ve got to share a little funny. Years ago, our younger daughter was living in Los Angeles. I knew she was seeing one particular guy exclusively. I asked, “how are things with you and ?” ... ( I forget his name)
My daughter responded....”Pretty good for a guy-in-a-band”.
I laughed.
I laughed much less when months later, I received a 2am phone call on New Years Eve. Ali called home crying....
Why? She fell asleep on his couch...( they had been drinking, it was late, she dropped off to slumberland). When she woke up she saw “guy-in-a-band” in his bed with another woman.
Yikes!!! She had been drinking and knew she couldn’t drive home either.
Somehow she made it through the night. Band-guy kept trying to call her for weeks and weeks and weeks ( sent flowers, dozen of phone call messages), begging forgiveness — that he didn’t know what he was doing that night —he was drunk and it was New Year’s eve he loved her and would do anything to get our daughter back.
Know what she told him?:
“Ok, buster.... you call my mom and dad and convince them that you’re not an asshole, and if you can do that I will take you back”.
I laughed.
“Should I expect a phone call from Band Guy, I asked Ali?”
“Hell no”....
And I never did.
I was proud of our daughter...SHE FELT THE HURT...IT FELT F#CKING AWFUL....but then she let it go. He wasn’t worth it.
I share the above little story.... because it’s an added treat when a thought-provoking book returns us to old memories ourselves....
don’t you think?
Besides....I don’t want to spoil anything.
.....The writing is marvelous....
.....The characters are multi dimensional....(worth spending time with them)
.....Betrayals, surprises, questions to contemplate....
I went in blind ( other than I had the opportunity to be on a Zoom call with the author) Caroline Leavitt is very likable ...smart too....
She talked about everything ‘but’ this story.
No spoilers from her either.
I figure I’d follow Leavitt’s lead....share next to nothing.
Other than to end this ( semi-review), by saying I enjoyed the cerebral aspects - the psychological developments - the human exploration of these human relationships.
Perfect fit for the times when often easily distracted.. This book has enough substance to be meaningful.....but not too top-heavy to add more mass to our every day pandemic & political concerns.
*A* rating from me 🎧📚🎸🍷💊🍷🎨🤷♀️
November 3, 2020
In With or Without You, Stella and Simon have been together for years — Simon, a musician about to go to LA for a shot at making it big with his band, Stella, a nurse who has supported Simon’s music dreams but now wants more: children, a house, a more stable life.
After an intense fight and a delayed flight from NY to LA, Simon convinces Stella to take a pill and drink with him, to have fun like the old days. She is hesitant but agrees and then doesn’t wake up the next morning, having fallen into a coma.
The story follows Simon and Stella as they grapple with wants, love, and a forced evaluation to decide the things that matter most to each of them.
I liked both characters and could relate to each of their perspectives. I also appreciated the realistic elements of the story — Life can be hard and we all have to make difficult decisions at points.
As usual, Julia Whelan was an outstanding narrator. With or Without You was my first book by Caroline Leavitt and I look forward to reading more of her work.
After an intense fight and a delayed flight from NY to LA, Simon convinces Stella to take a pill and drink with him, to have fun like the old days. She is hesitant but agrees and then doesn’t wake up the next morning, having fallen into a coma.
The story follows Simon and Stella as they grapple with wants, love, and a forced evaluation to decide the things that matter most to each of them.
I liked both characters and could relate to each of their perspectives. I also appreciated the realistic elements of the story — Life can be hard and we all have to make difficult decisions at points.
As usual, Julia Whelan was an outstanding narrator. With or Without You was my first book by Caroline Leavitt and I look forward to reading more of her work.
September 25, 2021
This book! Oh my heart!❤️It gave me all the feels. I went in thinking..well this sounds pretty good…umm the blurb doesn’t do it justice. I absolutely loved it !! ❤️
I connected with Stella immediately… She’s a nurse… 👩⚕️so she’s my people! Like so many people, Stella hits her 40s and starts to question her choices… then she makes her biggest mistake… and ends up in a coma 🤭
Her experience while in a coma was absolutely fascinating to me! I’ve always wondered what level of awareness the patient has during that time…🤔
I finished up the book marveled at all the changes the coma brought on…to not only Stella but those around her. Her new found desire and talent to paint blew me away. 🎨
As I got ready to close the book… I always try to learn a little bit about the author. Upon finding out she had been in a coma herself… I was rendered speechless. It made the book even that more special. The story of regret, change, finding the things that bring you pure joy in your life… I can’t recommend this book enough. ❤️
Thank you to SuzyApprovedTours, Caroline Leavitt and Algonquin Books for my gifted copy. 🥰❤️
I connected with Stella immediately… She’s a nurse… 👩⚕️so she’s my people! Like so many people, Stella hits her 40s and starts to question her choices… then she makes her biggest mistake… and ends up in a coma 🤭
Her experience while in a coma was absolutely fascinating to me! I’ve always wondered what level of awareness the patient has during that time…🤔
I finished up the book marveled at all the changes the coma brought on…to not only Stella but those around her. Her new found desire and talent to paint blew me away. 🎨
As I got ready to close the book… I always try to learn a little bit about the author. Upon finding out she had been in a coma herself… I was rendered speechless. It made the book even that more special. The story of regret, change, finding the things that bring you pure joy in your life… I can’t recommend this book enough. ❤️
Thank you to SuzyApprovedTours, Caroline Leavitt and Algonquin Books for my gifted copy. 🥰❤️
December 3, 2020
A solid and unique piece of fiction.
I requested With or Without You on Edelweiss because the description reminded me of Blue Valentine (2010), my favorite movie.
Stella and Simon have been together for almost 20 years. She's a nurse, he's a musician. They fell in love when they were young but, as time went by, their personal desires became different and started to threaten their relationship. An accident happens, and one of them end up in a coma (and that's the main focus of the story, which I wasn't expecting).
The first 30% of this book were incredible to me: the author managed to get me interested in every single character, the flashbacks were immersive and I couldn't predict what would happen. By the middle of it, I was kind of bored, because it focused a lot on the thoughts and feelings of the protagonists. The ending was very satisfying and everything came full circle.
I am very glad for the opportunity to read this one.
(Edelweiss ARC)
I requested With or Without You on Edelweiss because the description reminded me of Blue Valentine (2010), my favorite movie.
Stella and Simon have been together for almost 20 years. She's a nurse, he's a musician. They fell in love when they were young but, as time went by, their personal desires became different and started to threaten their relationship. An accident happens, and one of them end up in a coma (and that's the main focus of the story, which I wasn't expecting).
The first 30% of this book were incredible to me: the author managed to get me interested in every single character, the flashbacks were immersive and I couldn't predict what would happen. By the middle of it, I was kind of bored, because it focused a lot on the thoughts and feelings of the protagonists. The ending was very satisfying and everything came full circle.
I am very glad for the opportunity to read this one.
(Edelweiss ARC)
December 9, 2020
In search of a light novel, I picked up and abandoned three books before being drawn in to With or Without You, about Stella and Simon grappling with the the direction of their 20 year relationship. Within a few pages, Stella falls into a coma. So NOT a light read - but it was effortless. Although both characters frequently frustrated me, I felt entwined with them and needed to keep turning the pages to follow their rocky paths. This novel is really about self-discovery and change - hard, but achievable.
June 29, 2021
4.5 stars
This is the LAST kind of story that I would have pegged as hopeful. And joyful. And yet it was.
Writing: ★★★★★
Characters: ★★★★★
Pacing: ★★★★
This isn't the kind of love story that would make it into the romance section, but it's a love story all the same. It's about what it means to be you—a person in the world, existing as a separate unit from others—and what it means to discover how you can love the unit that is you.
Stella and Simon have been together for over 20 years. Their marriage has followed the track of Simon's desire to be famous, to be a rock star. Now they're in the forties, and Simon is still the same free-wheeling, "no responsibilities" guy and Stella is trying to make him look toward the future, their future.
And then, Stella falls into a coma.
Simon, now forced for the first time to be the adult in their relationship, has to have a reckoning within himself. He becomes more responsible. He starts thinking of Stella, and not just as someone who exists to support him. He starts thinking of his life, and if it is rolling in the direction it needs to go.
And then, Stella wakes up from the coma. But like many coma patients, Stella comes out different than she went in before.
Stella now has an aptitude for painting and drawing, and she's not like she used to be. Simon feels wrong, she feels wrong, and her best friend Libby treats her more like a patient than a friend. Finally looking at her life from an outsider's eyes, Stella realizes that...maybe she doesn't fit in this life anymore.
Libby is Stella's best friend, and she used to hate Simon. Simon was the man-child that never grew up, never paid Stella the attention and love that she was due. But when Stella goes into the coma, Simon changes. Libby can't help but notice that change, and they fall toward each other in their pain.
Stella, Simon, and Libby all have some growing to do—and they might not make it out to the other side as the same people that went in. But sometimes painful growth is good, and self-acceptance is no small element of happiness.
I absolutely adored this novel. To be honest with you, I didn't think I would. I've always struggled to pick up books that scream sadness, and With or Without You definitely gives off that vibe. And I'll be honest, there are some sad parts. That's no joke. But what I didn't expect—and maybe that's on me, for not trusting the author—was the shining hope and self-love. This is a novel that demands a internal reckoning, and it demands that its characters realize that other people cannot complete them. It's a lesson that resonates with its readers too. I know it resonated with me.
A beautiful story, and sharply real. These characters will stay with you when you leave them, and the writing lingers. Fantastic book.
Thank you to Algonquin Books for my copy in exchange for an honest review.
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This is the LAST kind of story that I would have pegged as hopeful. And joyful. And yet it was.
Writing: ★★★★★
Characters: ★★★★★
Pacing: ★★★★
This isn't the kind of love story that would make it into the romance section, but it's a love story all the same. It's about what it means to be you—a person in the world, existing as a separate unit from others—and what it means to discover how you can love the unit that is you.
Stella and Simon have been together for over 20 years. Their marriage has followed the track of Simon's desire to be famous, to be a rock star. Now they're in the forties, and Simon is still the same free-wheeling, "no responsibilities" guy and Stella is trying to make him look toward the future, their future.
And then, Stella falls into a coma.
Simon, now forced for the first time to be the adult in their relationship, has to have a reckoning within himself. He becomes more responsible. He starts thinking of Stella, and not just as someone who exists to support him. He starts thinking of his life, and if it is rolling in the direction it needs to go.
And then, Stella wakes up from the coma. But like many coma patients, Stella comes out different than she went in before.
Stella now has an aptitude for painting and drawing, and she's not like she used to be. Simon feels wrong, she feels wrong, and her best friend Libby treats her more like a patient than a friend. Finally looking at her life from an outsider's eyes, Stella realizes that...maybe she doesn't fit in this life anymore.
Libby is Stella's best friend, and she used to hate Simon. Simon was the man-child that never grew up, never paid Stella the attention and love that she was due. But when Stella goes into the coma, Simon changes. Libby can't help but notice that change, and they fall toward each other in their pain.
Stella, Simon, and Libby all have some growing to do—and they might not make it out to the other side as the same people that went in. But sometimes painful growth is good, and self-acceptance is no small element of happiness.
I absolutely adored this novel. To be honest with you, I didn't think I would. I've always struggled to pick up books that scream sadness, and With or Without You definitely gives off that vibe. And I'll be honest, there are some sad parts. That's no joke. But what I didn't expect—and maybe that's on me, for not trusting the author—was the shining hope and self-love. This is a novel that demands a internal reckoning, and it demands that its characters realize that other people cannot complete them. It's a lesson that resonates with its readers too. I know it resonated with me.
A beautiful story, and sharply real. These characters will stay with you when you leave them, and the writing lingers. Fantastic book.
Thank you to Algonquin Books for my copy in exchange for an honest review.
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July 20, 2021
I finally read my first Caroline Leavitt book!
With or Without You is the story of Stella’s search for happiness. From the very beginning it felt authentic. I loved how complex the characters are (my favorite).
Stella and Simon have been together for two decades, and they are kind of “stuck.” Stella is more responsible, ready for something different, something firm. Simon is less grounded and content with how things are. Just as they are on the precipice of change, Stella ends up in a coma, causing Simon to not be able to make a big trip he had planned. What will the future hold for Simon and Stella?
The writing sparkles here. With or Without You is such a thoughtful and thought-provoking, quiet story. I really loved it, and it left a mark on me.
I received a gifted copy from the publisher.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
With or Without You is the story of Stella’s search for happiness. From the very beginning it felt authentic. I loved how complex the characters are (my favorite).
Stella and Simon have been together for two decades, and they are kind of “stuck.” Stella is more responsible, ready for something different, something firm. Simon is less grounded and content with how things are. Just as they are on the precipice of change, Stella ends up in a coma, causing Simon to not be able to make a big trip he had planned. What will the future hold for Simon and Stella?
The writing sparkles here. With or Without You is such a thoughtful and thought-provoking, quiet story. I really loved it, and it left a mark on me.
I received a gifted copy from the publisher.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
September 4, 2020
This book was a breath of fresh air and nice break from my usual choices of dark thrillers and heavy historical fiction. I have been a huge fan of Caroline Leavitt after meeting her when she spoke on a panel with my husband a few years ago, and after which, she graciously sent me two of her books. After those two, I made it my mission to read all of her books, and I have rarely been disappointed! With or Without You is no different - beautiful, thought-provoking, and deeply poignant.
Stella and Simon have been a couple for nearly two decades, and is often the case, their relationship has grown a bit stale and predictable. When Simon, a somewhat has-been musician, gets an opportunity to open for a younger musician in LA, he jumps at the chance for a second chance at stardom and asks Stella to accompany him. Stella is not so sure that it is such a great idea. She is a nurse with a stable job and has dreams of finally buying a house and having babies, not being a road groupie to Simon's new gig. A winter storm delays the flight to LA, and they instead spend their evening drinking and reminiscing about "the good ole days." Eventually Simon offers Stella a pill that he had been given from one of his band mates, in hopes to spice up their evening, but Stella immediately becomes woozy and falls asleep. The next morning Simon wakes up with a hangover, but finds Stella unresponsive. Stella does not improve and slips into a coma, and Simon must choose whether to go on the road or stay with Stella. When Stella regains consciousness some two months later, her perception of the world is completely different. Her perception isn't the only thing that has changed - her relationship with Simon has also changed, but the past, guilt, and familiarity tethers their fragile bond - at least temporarily.
This was a gripping read for me. The first half of the book when Stella is in the coma is riveting, and I was interested to see how the other relationships mentioned in the blurb develop. The second half of the book deals with Stella's re-emergence and how she is deeply changed. I felt every raw emotion that Stella was experiencing not knowing who she was as a person any more and trying to find her way all over again. I liked both Simon and Stella's characters, and Libby (for the most part). I still find myself undecided if I was satisfied by the book's ending, but the more I have thought about it, I think it was fitting.
Overall, a compelling read about love and change and re-inventing oneself, even after momentous life changes. 4 thought-provoking stars!
Stella and Simon have been a couple for nearly two decades, and is often the case, their relationship has grown a bit stale and predictable. When Simon, a somewhat has-been musician, gets an opportunity to open for a younger musician in LA, he jumps at the chance for a second chance at stardom and asks Stella to accompany him. Stella is not so sure that it is such a great idea. She is a nurse with a stable job and has dreams of finally buying a house and having babies, not being a road groupie to Simon's new gig. A winter storm delays the flight to LA, and they instead spend their evening drinking and reminiscing about "the good ole days." Eventually Simon offers Stella a pill that he had been given from one of his band mates, in hopes to spice up their evening, but Stella immediately becomes woozy and falls asleep. The next morning Simon wakes up with a hangover, but finds Stella unresponsive. Stella does not improve and slips into a coma, and Simon must choose whether to go on the road or stay with Stella. When Stella regains consciousness some two months later, her perception of the world is completely different. Her perception isn't the only thing that has changed - her relationship with Simon has also changed, but the past, guilt, and familiarity tethers their fragile bond - at least temporarily.
This was a gripping read for me. The first half of the book when Stella is in the coma is riveting, and I was interested to see how the other relationships mentioned in the blurb develop. The second half of the book deals with Stella's re-emergence and how she is deeply changed. I felt every raw emotion that Stella was experiencing not knowing who she was as a person any more and trying to find her way all over again. I liked both Simon and Stella's characters, and Libby (for the most part). I still find myself undecided if I was satisfied by the book's ending, but the more I have thought about it, I think it was fitting.
Overall, a compelling read about love and change and re-inventing oneself, even after momentous life changes. 4 thought-provoking stars!
August 13, 2020
Caroline Leavitt's writing is so beautiful that I've always purchased her novels and With or Without you is no exception as I preordered it about ten percent in to the ARC. It's about a woman in Manhattan with a long term partner and what happens when she slips into a coma and her recovery.
Sounds simple, right? And it is--the plot is straightforward and everything you think will happen does--but what sets Caroline Leavitt's novels apart, what makes them extraordinary, is the dialogue. It's so rare to read an author who not only captures the rhythm and flow of people talking to each other, and even rarer still to read a novel where you come away thinking about what was said and what was hidden in and around and under the words. Leavitt does all of that, and she does it with such skill and better yet, such compassion. All of her characters are so well done, so human, and With or Without You truly illustrates what a gift real (and rare) unconditional love is. Definitely a must read for fans of literary or women's fiction, or for anyone who enjoys a graceful and elegant story about the human heart.
Sounds simple, right? And it is--the plot is straightforward and everything you think will happen does--but what sets Caroline Leavitt's novels apart, what makes them extraordinary, is the dialogue. It's so rare to read an author who not only captures the rhythm and flow of people talking to each other, and even rarer still to read a novel where you come away thinking about what was said and what was hidden in and around and under the words. Leavitt does all of that, and she does it with such skill and better yet, such compassion. All of her characters are so well done, so human, and With or Without You truly illustrates what a gift real (and rare) unconditional love is. Definitely a must read for fans of literary or women's fiction, or for anyone who enjoys a graceful and elegant story about the human heart.
August 27, 2020
Thoughts soon.
September 15, 2020
Eloquent and striking look at two people trying to find happiness
Stella and Simon have been together nearly twenty years. Simon, a rock musician, has spent most of those waiting for his one big break. He thinks he's found it now, but right before he and Stella are set to leave for California for the show that could change his life, she falls into a coma. Now Simon faces a choice: get on the plane with his band, or remain behind with his love. As for Stella, she's aware of the world around her while in the coma, and when she emerges, she's different, with a newfound artistic talent. Together, Simon and Stella must reexamine their relationship and figure out the path forward.
What a beautiful and striking novel. I discovered Caroline Leavitt through the power of ARCs in 2016, falling in love with her work through Cruel Beautiful World. She gives us another book filled with compelling characters here. I so enjoyed reading a book with a different plot, especially knowing that the coma story was somewhat based on Leavitt's own life. She's a remarkable writer in so many ways.
With or Without You is incredibly well-written--almost poetic at times. It's told from both Simon and Stella's perspectives, including while Stella's in her coma, and some of those moments are quite profound and touching. Both Stella's realizations as she struggles to realize where she is, and Simon's, as he tries to grapple with the idea of his partner being ill, as well as the awareness that he may be losing his last chance at fame and fortune as his band moves on without him.
"It's a kind of blankness. She's been erased for a while and then redrawn. When she comes back, she always feels a little bit better..."
Even worse for both Simon and Stella is the fact that they fought shortly before she fell into the coma. What kind of relationship, each wonders, would they come back into should Stella awake? In this way, Leavitt gives a beautiful character study: an in-depth observation into a flawed relationship. It just happens to be a relationship where a woman enters and exits a coma. It's an amazing look into love, loyalty, and loss. The novel makes you think, drawing you into the characters. What would you do in Simon's situation, you think? Or Stella's?
"Mostly she thought of all the things that she herself wanted, and like Simon's dreams, they had an expiration date she couldn't ignore."
Overall, I quite enjoyed this novel. It's so well-done and such a different and intriguing look at two people trying to find happiness. I love Leavitt's way with words. 4 stars.
I received a copy of this novel from Algonquin Books and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
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Stella and Simon have been together nearly twenty years. Simon, a rock musician, has spent most of those waiting for his one big break. He thinks he's found it now, but right before he and Stella are set to leave for California for the show that could change his life, she falls into a coma. Now Simon faces a choice: get on the plane with his band, or remain behind with his love. As for Stella, she's aware of the world around her while in the coma, and when she emerges, she's different, with a newfound artistic talent. Together, Simon and Stella must reexamine their relationship and figure out the path forward.
What a beautiful and striking novel. I discovered Caroline Leavitt through the power of ARCs in 2016, falling in love with her work through Cruel Beautiful World. She gives us another book filled with compelling characters here. I so enjoyed reading a book with a different plot, especially knowing that the coma story was somewhat based on Leavitt's own life. She's a remarkable writer in so many ways.
With or Without You is incredibly well-written--almost poetic at times. It's told from both Simon and Stella's perspectives, including while Stella's in her coma, and some of those moments are quite profound and touching. Both Stella's realizations as she struggles to realize where she is, and Simon's, as he tries to grapple with the idea of his partner being ill, as well as the awareness that he may be losing his last chance at fame and fortune as his band moves on without him.
"It's a kind of blankness. She's been erased for a while and then redrawn. When she comes back, she always feels a little bit better..."
Even worse for both Simon and Stella is the fact that they fought shortly before she fell into the coma. What kind of relationship, each wonders, would they come back into should Stella awake? In this way, Leavitt gives a beautiful character study: an in-depth observation into a flawed relationship. It just happens to be a relationship where a woman enters and exits a coma. It's an amazing look into love, loyalty, and loss. The novel makes you think, drawing you into the characters. What would you do in Simon's situation, you think? Or Stella's?
"Mostly she thought of all the things that she herself wanted, and like Simon's dreams, they had an expiration date she couldn't ignore."
Overall, I quite enjoyed this novel. It's so well-done and such a different and intriguing look at two people trying to find happiness. I love Leavitt's way with words. 4 stars.
I received a copy of this novel from Algonquin Books and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
Blog ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Instagram ~ PaperBackSwap ~ Smashbomb
February 14, 2021
Hi, on Wednesday, Feb 17 at 7 EST, I will be hosted by Waltham Public Library and talking about my life during and after coma, and how I came to write With Or Without You. Hope you will all come! https://youtu.be/84ZPZIB4EXQ
September 4, 2020
John Barth once said that a novel is a situation, of a certain length, that has something wrong with it. The opening pages of this book display all of the things that are wrong with a couple's relationship, and how they are stuck in their ways and lives.
But then the woman falls into a coma. The situation has much more wrong with it. And yet, it proves to be a creative disruption: the guy relinquishes old pipedreams and begins to grow up, the woman recovers to find new potential in herself, and a wonderful doctor character (bsaically a substitute for us) watches her allegiances between the two of them shift in an open and loving way.
The prose reads so smoothly, it implies that it was written effortlessly -- but actual signals immense care with every word. Likewise there are minor plot elements that turn out to be important later, placed there early for us to appreciate as the story proceeds. There is also a masterpiece of father/son reconciliation. Masterpiece.
Highly recommend. You will start out thinking these people have a long way to go, and you will wind up rooting for them all to make it.
But then the woman falls into a coma. The situation has much more wrong with it. And yet, it proves to be a creative disruption: the guy relinquishes old pipedreams and begins to grow up, the woman recovers to find new potential in herself, and a wonderful doctor character (bsaically a substitute for us) watches her allegiances between the two of them shift in an open and loving way.
The prose reads so smoothly, it implies that it was written effortlessly -- but actual signals immense care with every word. Likewise there are minor plot elements that turn out to be important later, placed there early for us to appreciate as the story proceeds. There is also a masterpiece of father/son reconciliation. Masterpiece.
Highly recommend. You will start out thinking these people have a long way to go, and you will wind up rooting for them all to make it.
September 24, 2020
September 23, 2020: With or Without You is average at best. A once famous rock musician has lost his fame and is ready for the second break during this desperate peak in his life but his long-time girlfriend is in a coma now and things are not the same anymore. Stella, the girlfriend, wasn't on the page for half the book but when she came to consciousness, she seemed a more authentic character than Simon, the main character, ever did. The writing is definitely the most applause worthy aspect but the purpose of the book itself is a little lost, especially when it tries to shine an unfiltered light on characters who do wrong. A large attention is paid to the mistakes the characters make, sometimes too hard to ignore like cheating on the partner, and while it can be considered as a way to let readers feel whatever they wish to, it does give an undertone of giving the wrongdoers a chance to put across their reasons and that's not something I personally prefer to read about.
July 11, 2020: Madeline Miller has praised this and I can never praise Circe enough so of course I'm excited to read this one. Received a digital copy via Netgalley.
July 11, 2020: Madeline Miller has praised this and I can never praise Circe enough so of course I'm excited to read this one. Received a digital copy via Netgalley.
July 6, 2021
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU by Caroline Leavitt is a phenomenal novel about people - people who get stuck in a rut letting the days go by, then realizing you are now in your 40's and what have you done with your life.
The writing and character development was brilliant. I loved that I was completely immersed into these characters' lives, and quickly developed that emotional attachment as we follow their journey through heartbreak, grief, and love.
This is an emotional story but it's not all sad at all, in fact I found it to be hopeful that each of the characters had a chance to make a change, find themselves, and lead a happier and more fulfilled life.
I really loved that Leavitt wrote about life that is a work in progress. To see the transformation of one's life after a traumatic event is truly spectacular.
What a beautiful book that I really enjoyed reading. I highly recommend!
The writing and character development was brilliant. I loved that I was completely immersed into these characters' lives, and quickly developed that emotional attachment as we follow their journey through heartbreak, grief, and love.
This is an emotional story but it's not all sad at all, in fact I found it to be hopeful that each of the characters had a chance to make a change, find themselves, and lead a happier and more fulfilled life.
I really loved that Leavitt wrote about life that is a work in progress. To see the transformation of one's life after a traumatic event is truly spectacular.
What a beautiful book that I really enjoyed reading. I highly recommend!
June 25, 2024
I think this may actually be my favorite of Caroline Leavitt’s many novels: Three main characters/narrators who are complicated people that I truly cared about and who change in believable ways, plus a realistic plot that kept surprising me. But best of all were the chapters told from unusual POV of Stella, a nurse, while she’s in a coma. Such fascinating descriptions!
Actually , “best” is tied with the spoiler alert below
.
The story in brief: Simon, a has-been rock guitarist, and his band finally have a chance for a comeback. But just as he’s about to head for a big gig in California, his longtime girlfriend Stella goes into the coma in part because of the drug Simon persuaded her to take, along with too much wine. Simon and Stella had both been having doubts about their future together, but now Simon devotes himself to her recovery.
SPOILER ALERT
Amazingly, Stella does emerge from the coma. And what I also really like about this book is that, as with the novel “Room,” the author wisely recognizes that the escape from a traumatic situation is not the end of the story. It’s only the beginning of new problems. Stella is a different person when she awakens, and therefore the people around her also change.
My main criticism is that the ending ties up too many strings too neatly.
Actually , “best” is tied with the spoiler alert below
.
The story in brief: Simon, a has-been rock guitarist, and his band finally have a chance for a comeback. But just as he’s about to head for a big gig in California, his longtime girlfriend Stella goes into the coma in part because of the drug Simon persuaded her to take, along with too much wine. Simon and Stella had both been having doubts about their future together, but now Simon devotes himself to her recovery.
SPOILER ALERT
Amazingly, Stella does emerge from the coma. And what I also really like about this book is that, as with the novel “Room,” the author wisely recognizes that the escape from a traumatic situation is not the end of the story. It’s only the beginning of new problems. Stella is a different person when she awakens, and therefore the people around her also change.
My main criticism is that the ending ties up too many strings too neatly.
July 25, 2020
“Nothing and no one stays still or stays the same. Everything and everyone changes. We all have multitudes inside of us, each of them young with hope.”
With or Without You is a compelling, messy, and raw look at relationships and the circumstances that bring us together or tear us apart. I was completely involved in the lives of the characters of this book, as they change and grow and hurt....dealing with both things that they can’t control, as well as those they can. There is regret, betrayal, hope, resilience, forgiveness, and a lifetime of possibilities.
With or Without You is a compelling, messy, and raw look at relationships and the circumstances that bring us together or tear us apart. I was completely involved in the lives of the characters of this book, as they change and grow and hurt....dealing with both things that they can’t control, as well as those they can. There is regret, betrayal, hope, resilience, forgiveness, and a lifetime of possibilities.
September 19, 2022
Forty-nine years into my relationship with my husband, I can attest that people change and grow and couples must learn to adapt to the changes.
Typically, personal growth evolves over time. But imagine waking up to find your partner in a coma, and when they recover they are a totally different person. Imagine that your connection is broken, your shared loves lost, that you are strangers that quickly.
With or Without You by Caroline Leavitt is the story of Simon, a one-hit-wonder still lusting after fame, and Stella, a practical nurse. They have been in love for decades even though their dreams don't mesh. Early in their relationship Stella gave up following Simon on tour and took up a career. Now in her early forties, she wants permanence and a family.
A new star in music recognizes Simon's band as his inspiration they are invited to open for him in Las Vegas. On the eve of Simon's leaving to reboot his career, Stella isn't sure she wants to give up her life to go on the road again.
Bad decisions leave Stella in a coma. Simon stays at her side while the band replaces him and moves on. Stella's work friend and doctor, Libby, had never liked Simon before, but in their mutual care for Stella, they become friends.
Stella comes out of the coma and recuperates. Foods she loved she now hates. She volunteers at the hospital and no longer enjoys being there. What does engross and calm her is drawing, demonstrating an amazing talent. For her drawings do not only show the outside of a person, they capture their inner being.
Simon, Stella, and Libby work out their ever more complex relationships, all on a journey into healing, personal growth, and an opportunity for full and productive lives.
Each character's childhood has impacted their self-image, and once confronted, they are able to become happy and healthy. This aspect of the story has universal appeal, affirming the possibility for wholeness and self-realization.
I loved the exploration of the quest for artistic success and the lure of fame against the pure love of doing art leading to success.
A thoughtful, deep novel with fully formed characters and a happy ending which I read in 24 hours.
I was given a free ebook by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
Typically, personal growth evolves over time. But imagine waking up to find your partner in a coma, and when they recover they are a totally different person. Imagine that your connection is broken, your shared loves lost, that you are strangers that quickly.
With or Without You by Caroline Leavitt is the story of Simon, a one-hit-wonder still lusting after fame, and Stella, a practical nurse. They have been in love for decades even though their dreams don't mesh. Early in their relationship Stella gave up following Simon on tour and took up a career. Now in her early forties, she wants permanence and a family.
A new star in music recognizes Simon's band as his inspiration they are invited to open for him in Las Vegas. On the eve of Simon's leaving to reboot his career, Stella isn't sure she wants to give up her life to go on the road again.
Bad decisions leave Stella in a coma. Simon stays at her side while the band replaces him and moves on. Stella's work friend and doctor, Libby, had never liked Simon before, but in their mutual care for Stella, they become friends.
Stella comes out of the coma and recuperates. Foods she loved she now hates. She volunteers at the hospital and no longer enjoys being there. What does engross and calm her is drawing, demonstrating an amazing talent. For her drawings do not only show the outside of a person, they capture their inner being.
Simon, Stella, and Libby work out their ever more complex relationships, all on a journey into healing, personal growth, and an opportunity for full and productive lives.
Each character's childhood has impacted their self-image, and once confronted, they are able to become happy and healthy. This aspect of the story has universal appeal, affirming the possibility for wholeness and self-realization.
I loved the exploration of the quest for artistic success and the lure of fame against the pure love of doing art leading to success.
A thoughtful, deep novel with fully formed characters and a happy ending which I read in 24 hours.
I was given a free ebook by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
August 30, 2020
With or Without You is a novel about how fragile life is and how an instant can change everything. The story follows Simon, Stella, and Libby who are all deeply flawed humans but you still manage to root for. I loved how all three characters had their own traumas but also were able to grow from it. They each seek out help in their own ways, even when many mistakes were made. Each one lacked communication with their family but also their other relationships. I went into this book without really knowing what it was about and it ended up being so heart breaking yet very captivating. I would recommend this book and look forward to Caroline Leavitt's future novels!
Thank you so much to the publisher and to Netgalley for a copy of this book.
Buddy read with Massiel <3
Thank you so much to the publisher and to Netgalley for a copy of this book.
Buddy read with Massiel <3
May 28, 2020
With or Without You revolves around Simon, Stella, and Stella's best friend Libby after Stella awakens from a coma. I usually enjoy novels with unlikable characters, but these characters weren't interesting enough for me to actually care about them. I particularly hated Simon, a 40-something man who never quite grew up. Additionally, the ending was way too convenient for my liking. Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of when I finished the book was, "What's the point?"
I received a free e-book from Algonquin Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I received a free e-book from Algonquin Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
September 3, 2020
Simon is a former quasi-famous rock musician, now older and less popular, but still desperate to feel fame again. Stella is his long-time girlfriend. She was his OG roadie back in the day, following him on every tour, but now she works as a full-time nurse and longs for a more stable life. Simon is about to get his second big break (so he says) opening for an up-and-coming band out in California. He wants Stella to come with him, but Stella isn’t feeling it. They get into a big fight, drink too much, and eventually take some pills to calm down. The next morning, Simon wakes up, and Stella doesn’t.
For the next few months, Stella is in a coma, and Simon is forced to step up for once to care for Stella and do all the little (but vital) household tasks he used to ignore. He’s desperate for Stella to come back to him, but when she finally emerges from her coma, she’s changed in ways neither one of them expected. They both need to decide who they are now and if they still belong together.
MY THOUGHTS
What an interesting and unique premise for a book, right? I was really drawn in by the description of With or Without You, and I wanted to love it. Unfortunately, the book fell flat for me in a number of ways. My biggest grievance is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. Simon, ugh, don’t get me started. Stella, for half the book, wasn’t much of a character at all, though I have to say I kind of loved post-coma-Stella. She may have been confused and a little lost, but at least she finally felt authentic. There’s a third main character, Libby, who is Stella’s friend and coworker, and I did enjoy her backstory and story arc, but I needed more. I never felt like I got a good grasp on who she was.
In the end, this was a drawn out half-story. The potential was there, but I needed spark—either a character I could relate to, a faster-paced story, more deeply-developed characters, more connection in the end. Just…something. I wouldn’t recommend reading this book, but I probably would give author Caroline Leavitt another chance.
Thank you Algonquin and Net Galley for the ARC!
See more of my reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
For the next few months, Stella is in a coma, and Simon is forced to step up for once to care for Stella and do all the little (but vital) household tasks he used to ignore. He’s desperate for Stella to come back to him, but when she finally emerges from her coma, she’s changed in ways neither one of them expected. They both need to decide who they are now and if they still belong together.
MY THOUGHTS
What an interesting and unique premise for a book, right? I was really drawn in by the description of With or Without You, and I wanted to love it. Unfortunately, the book fell flat for me in a number of ways. My biggest grievance is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. Simon, ugh, don’t get me started. Stella, for half the book, wasn’t much of a character at all, though I have to say I kind of loved post-coma-Stella. She may have been confused and a little lost, but at least she finally felt authentic. There’s a third main character, Libby, who is Stella’s friend and coworker, and I did enjoy her backstory and story arc, but I needed more. I never felt like I got a good grasp on who she was.
In the end, this was a drawn out half-story. The potential was there, but I needed spark—either a character I could relate to, a faster-paced story, more deeply-developed characters, more connection in the end. Just…something. I wouldn’t recommend reading this book, but I probably would give author Caroline Leavitt another chance.
Thank you Algonquin and Net Galley for the ARC!
See more of my reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
August 9, 2020
Thank you Algonquin for a complimentary copy. I voluntarily reviewed this book. All opinions expressed are my own.
With Or Without You
By: Caroline Leavitt
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆
With Or Without You by Caroline Leavitt is the type of story that slaps you across the face, for me at least. It's like a loud ringing bell that draws attention to something important. I'm in my early forties, married for twenty years and see parts of myself in this story. Simon and Stella were different people when they met twenty years ago, and change is inevitable. They are quietly unnoticed, these disparate dreams, until one day you wake up and think, "How did I end up here?". Dreams and goals morph into different things both expected and unexpected. We change as people, too, but it's easier to pretend everything is the same. Embracing change is scary, and some of us, if we're really honest, don't want the same spouse or house or job or lifestyle. But, being authentic seems impossible because it would mean hurting others and tearing apart all you have built together. Stella is different, not by choice, but wasn't she desperate for a change? Stella deserved better, and in an unconventional manner, the universe set her free from the patterns and mindset that tethered her to an unfulfilling life for so long. Simon is far behind her, but he has been for a while. I wish maturity for him, but it's too late for that. He is set free as well. Libby is a thorn, and I didn't care for her. She felt like a violation of some kind, like a piece that did not fit. This story is really beautiful but almost incomprehensible because of the truths no one wants to admit about dreams long gone and dreams held new and now. Do the recesses of the mind, the deeply buried doubts and hope, manifest in reality?I love this book, despite the heartache I felt at times, because it reminds me to remember who I was, who I am and where I'm going. Take some time out to read this gem.
With Or Without You
By: Caroline Leavitt
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆
With Or Without You by Caroline Leavitt is the type of story that slaps you across the face, for me at least. It's like a loud ringing bell that draws attention to something important. I'm in my early forties, married for twenty years and see parts of myself in this story. Simon and Stella were different people when they met twenty years ago, and change is inevitable. They are quietly unnoticed, these disparate dreams, until one day you wake up and think, "How did I end up here?". Dreams and goals morph into different things both expected and unexpected. We change as people, too, but it's easier to pretend everything is the same. Embracing change is scary, and some of us, if we're really honest, don't want the same spouse or house or job or lifestyle. But, being authentic seems impossible because it would mean hurting others and tearing apart all you have built together. Stella is different, not by choice, but wasn't she desperate for a change? Stella deserved better, and in an unconventional manner, the universe set her free from the patterns and mindset that tethered her to an unfulfilling life for so long. Simon is far behind her, but he has been for a while. I wish maturity for him, but it's too late for that. He is set free as well. Libby is a thorn, and I didn't care for her. She felt like a violation of some kind, like a piece that did not fit. This story is really beautiful but almost incomprehensible because of the truths no one wants to admit about dreams long gone and dreams held new and now. Do the recesses of the mind, the deeply buried doubts and hope, manifest in reality?I love this book, despite the heartache I felt at times, because it reminds me to remember who I was, who I am and where I'm going. Take some time out to read this gem.
August 4, 2020
Such a beautifully rendered, heartfelt story. There are many moments of aching loss--from the death of dreams and the death of what the characters thought their lives would be like.
Simon and Stella have been together a long time and their relationship works for the most part. Simon has dreams of being a rock star, but those dreams have just never manifested into reality. On the eve of a trip to California for what could be his big break, he and Stella take a pill as a last hurrah and Stella goes into a coma.
I don't want to spoil how things turn out, but I'll just say that as with Leavitt's previous novels, this one explores so many aspects of humanity and the realistic choices we all must make through our lives, from the mundane to the earth-shattering, and how they ultimately determine the types of people we become. I loved the ending because it just felt right. Usually I steer away from any sort of open ending, but this one is perfect due to the realistic nature of this story. I could feel that these characters just kept living their lives after the last page, growing and changing and loving.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
Simon and Stella have been together a long time and their relationship works for the most part. Simon has dreams of being a rock star, but those dreams have just never manifested into reality. On the eve of a trip to California for what could be his big break, he and Stella take a pill as a last hurrah and Stella goes into a coma.
I don't want to spoil how things turn out, but I'll just say that as with Leavitt's previous novels, this one explores so many aspects of humanity and the realistic choices we all must make through our lives, from the mundane to the earth-shattering, and how they ultimately determine the types of people we become. I loved the ending because it just felt right. Usually I steer away from any sort of open ending, but this one is perfect due to the realistic nature of this story. I could feel that these characters just kept living their lives after the last page, growing and changing and loving.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
September 2, 2020
With or Without You is a contemporary fiction novel that dives into a long term relationship and what happens when everything changes. I found it totally compelling and while it had parts of the storyline that were not relatable to me personally, I could very much connect with the nuances of long term partnerships and continuing to find our own identities along the way.
I didn't find it to be a totally enjoyable read, but I also felt like it was supposed to be that way. It was thought-provoking and had so much to unpack about how we understand ourselves and one another. Highly recommend!
Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the gifted copy in exchange for an honest view.
I didn't find it to be a totally enjoyable read, but I also felt like it was supposed to be that way. It was thought-provoking and had so much to unpack about how we understand ourselves and one another. Highly recommend!
Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the gifted copy in exchange for an honest view.
June 19, 2020
**ARC Review
There is a tragic kind of beauty in this novel that is hard to articulate into words. It almost must be experienced to be truly understood; it is ethereal, filmy. When reading the novel written by Ms. Leavitt, you may sometimes feel that you are watching the characters in a sort of film shot with soft lighting and edge blurring lenses. Even moments that are meant to be harsh turn out to be more gut wrenching on a very deep level as you ask yourself “what would I be like” or “what would I do here". Let this reviewer be clear: there are no traditional heroes in this story, none. There are only beautifully crafted (right down to their flaws) characters.
Our story opens with Simon and Stella and an argument. To go by this one sentence, you would think that Simon is purely at fault with all that happens afterwards but no, there is no real fault in this scene, just a sense of disquiet (and for this reader, some alarm at how weak willed Stella can be here). I don’t want to spoil the sequence of events but it is important to note that everything that happens later in the novel can be traced back to one decision in this scene and though at the time, the decision feels like a plot device, it will be what I like to call “the thing from which all twists and turns flow”. There are so many scenes that could be highlighted in this book, so many moments that perhaps are not supposed to shine but nonetheless do because of the level of dialogue between characters. It is no surprise to this reader that Ms. Leavitt has penned another great novel; she is in fact a great writer.
The narrative and plot are tight, the characters just aggravating enough to be barely likable – which I love, novels that rely too heavily on the likability of their characters are so flawed – and most importantly (and this is where the novel doesn’t just shine, it glows) the depiction of how Stella and those around her are transformed after the incident and how the relationships and lives are fractured and changed is absolutely stunning. The depiction of this situation is so critical to the flow of the novel that one misstep will bring the whole thing crashing down. Ms. Leavitt pulls it off and then some. One can’t imagine the number of hours of research put in to this particular part of the novel to make it flow so well.
This is another great novel from Ms. Leavitt and one that will be read and re-read for many years to come.
There is a tragic kind of beauty in this novel that is hard to articulate into words. It almost must be experienced to be truly understood; it is ethereal, filmy. When reading the novel written by Ms. Leavitt, you may sometimes feel that you are watching the characters in a sort of film shot with soft lighting and edge blurring lenses. Even moments that are meant to be harsh turn out to be more gut wrenching on a very deep level as you ask yourself “what would I be like” or “what would I do here". Let this reviewer be clear: there are no traditional heroes in this story, none. There are only beautifully crafted (right down to their flaws) characters.
Our story opens with Simon and Stella and an argument. To go by this one sentence, you would think that Simon is purely at fault with all that happens afterwards but no, there is no real fault in this scene, just a sense of disquiet (and for this reader, some alarm at how weak willed Stella can be here). I don’t want to spoil the sequence of events but it is important to note that everything that happens later in the novel can be traced back to one decision in this scene and though at the time, the decision feels like a plot device, it will be what I like to call “the thing from which all twists and turns flow”. There are so many scenes that could be highlighted in this book, so many moments that perhaps are not supposed to shine but nonetheless do because of the level of dialogue between characters. It is no surprise to this reader that Ms. Leavitt has penned another great novel; she is in fact a great writer.
The narrative and plot are tight, the characters just aggravating enough to be barely likable – which I love, novels that rely too heavily on the likability of their characters are so flawed – and most importantly (and this is where the novel doesn’t just shine, it glows) the depiction of how Stella and those around her are transformed after the incident and how the relationships and lives are fractured and changed is absolutely stunning. The depiction of this situation is so critical to the flow of the novel that one misstep will bring the whole thing crashing down. Ms. Leavitt pulls it off and then some. One can’t imagine the number of hours of research put in to this particular part of the novel to make it flow so well.
This is another great novel from Ms. Leavitt and one that will be read and re-read for many years to come.
August 8, 2020
This is a story that evolves around a relationship between 3 main characters. There is Stella, the trustworthy RN who is in a live-in relationship with her partner, Simon, who is a musician. Early in their relationship, everything revolved around Simon's career and touring with his band. As they have matured together, he is itching to go back out on tour and Stella is longing to have a baby. They are having a massive discussion around these topics when they decide to drink and party. The following morning, after having decided nothing, Simon finds Stella unresponsive. He rushes her to the hospital and her best friend is the doctor that takes care of her. As the story evolves, we get to hear the POV of each of these main characters and their interactions with each other and the world around them.
I enjoyed the POV from Stella the best because it seemed the most creative and insightful, as well as challenging to write. Her entire story arc is engaging. All three are unique and captivating in their own way.
I think my hesitation in giving this a full 5 stars was the essential problem that seemed to hold all the characters back in their lives, a lack of understanding and communication with their own families. Although it was interesting to see the backstory and how misunderstandings were a huge part of what shaped these characters, it was frustrating for them to make so many decisions through avoidance rather than engagement, but then the story is wrapped up a little too neatly anyway. It felt to me like the character traits that lead someone to make poor decisions throughout their lives are not the sort of thing that magically disappear as a behavior pattern once there are more facts out in the open. This did not feel completely realistic to me.
I do recommend this as a completely enjoyable and relationship based novel.
#WithOrWithoutYou #Netgalley #AlgonquinBooks
I enjoyed the POV from Stella the best because it seemed the most creative and insightful, as well as challenging to write. Her entire story arc is engaging. All three are unique and captivating in their own way.
I think my hesitation in giving this a full 5 stars was the essential problem that seemed to hold all the characters back in their lives, a lack of understanding and communication with their own families. Although it was interesting to see the backstory and how misunderstandings were a huge part of what shaped these characters, it was frustrating for them to make so many decisions through avoidance rather than engagement, but then the story is wrapped up a little too neatly anyway. It felt to me like the character traits that lead someone to make poor decisions throughout their lives are not the sort of thing that magically disappear as a behavior pattern once there are more facts out in the open. This did not feel completely realistic to me.
I do recommend this as a completely enjoyable and relationship based novel.
#WithOrWithoutYou #Netgalley #AlgonquinBooks
March 13, 2020
Stella and Simon are now 42 years old. They have lived together for 20 years. Once in a fairly popular rock band, Simon has the opportunity to go to California with his band and open for a very popular young new performer.
Not feeling well, Stella (the one who is STILL waiting for Simon to "grow up" and start a family - and marriage), tells Simon she doesn't want to leave NY now to fly to California. Stella is a nurse at a respected hospital (and most likely pays most of the bills). Simon is hell bent on going to this concert - possibly kick-starting his rock career again.
Arguing, Stella and Simon get drunk on wine. Also, Simon gives Stella a pill - although she was also taking Sudafed. Simon tells her it is Darvon. Since Stella loves Simon so much and feels that if they calm down and discuss things, they can work things out. She takes the pill.
The following day, Simon is hungover and realizes after he first takes care of himself, he cannot wakeup Stella. Their trip to California is on that evening. Still, he rushes Stella to the hospital where she works...
Kind of twisty - it was a fast read for me. The characters (like them or not) were well depicted and the plotline was good.
Many Thanks to Algonquin Books and NetGalley for a chance to read and review.
Not feeling well, Stella (the one who is STILL waiting for Simon to "grow up" and start a family - and marriage), tells Simon she doesn't want to leave NY now to fly to California. Stella is a nurse at a respected hospital (and most likely pays most of the bills). Simon is hell bent on going to this concert - possibly kick-starting his rock career again.
Arguing, Stella and Simon get drunk on wine. Also, Simon gives Stella a pill - although she was also taking Sudafed. Simon tells her it is Darvon. Since Stella loves Simon so much and feels that if they calm down and discuss things, they can work things out. She takes the pill.
The following day, Simon is hungover and realizes after he first takes care of himself, he cannot wakeup Stella. Their trip to California is on that evening. Still, he rushes Stella to the hospital where she works...
Kind of twisty - it was a fast read for me. The characters (like them or not) were well depicted and the plotline was good.
Many Thanks to Algonquin Books and NetGalley for a chance to read and review.
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