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You Don't Have to Be Everything: Poems for Girls Becoming Themselves
Poems to Turn to Again and Again – from Amanda Gorman, Sharon Olds, Kate Baer, and More
Created and compiled just for young women, You Don’t Have to Be Everything is filled with works by a wide range of poets who are honest, unafraid, and skilled at addressing the complex feelings of coming-of-age, from loneliness to joy, longing to solace, attitude to humor. These unintimidating poems offer girls a message of self-acceptance and strength, giving them permission to let go of shame and perfectionism.
The cast of 68 poets is Amanda Gorman, the first National Youth Poet Laureate, who read at Joe Biden's inauguration; bestselling authors like Maya Angelou, Elizabeth Acevedo, Sharon Olds, Naomi Shihab Nye, and Mary Oliver; Instagram-famous poets including Kate Baer, Melody Lee, and Andrea Gibson; poets who are LGBTQ, poets of diverse racial and cultural backgrounds, poets who sing of human experience in ways that are free from conventional ideas of femininity. Illustrated in full color with work by three diverse artists, this book is an inspired gift for daughters and granddaughters—and anyone on the path to becoming themselves. No matter how old you are,
it helps to be young
when you're coming to life,
to be unfinished, a mysterious statement,
a journey from star to star.
—Joy Ladin, excerpt from "Survival Guide"
Created and compiled just for young women, You Don’t Have to Be Everything is filled with works by a wide range of poets who are honest, unafraid, and skilled at addressing the complex feelings of coming-of-age, from loneliness to joy, longing to solace, attitude to humor. These unintimidating poems offer girls a message of self-acceptance and strength, giving them permission to let go of shame and perfectionism.
The cast of 68 poets is Amanda Gorman, the first National Youth Poet Laureate, who read at Joe Biden's inauguration; bestselling authors like Maya Angelou, Elizabeth Acevedo, Sharon Olds, Naomi Shihab Nye, and Mary Oliver; Instagram-famous poets including Kate Baer, Melody Lee, and Andrea Gibson; poets who are LGBTQ, poets of diverse racial and cultural backgrounds, poets who sing of human experience in ways that are free from conventional ideas of femininity. Illustrated in full color with work by three diverse artists, this book is an inspired gift for daughters and granddaughters—and anyone on the path to becoming themselves. No matter how old you are,
it helps to be young
when you're coming to life,
to be unfinished, a mysterious statement,
a journey from star to star.
—Joy Ladin, excerpt from "Survival Guide"
176 pages, Paperback
First published March 30, 2021
82 people are currently reading
1094 people want to read
About the author
Diana Whitney
3 books5 followersDiana Whitney is a queer writer & educator embracing a fierce belief in the power of storytelling as a means of connection to self and others. She is the editor of the bestselling anthology YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE EVERYTHING: Poems for Girls Becoming Themselves, winner of the 2022 Claudia Lewis Award and a Nautilus award. Her essays, poems, and criticism have appeared in the New York Times, the Kenyon Review, the Washington Post, The Rumpus, and many more.
Diana's first book, WANTING IT, won the Rubery Book Award in poetry, and her second collection, DARK BEDS, was a finalist for the Poetry Society of Virginia’s North American Book Award. Her next book, GIRL TROUBLE, a wild ode to raising girls, surviving rape culture, and excavating female adolescence– is forthcoming from Cavankerry Press in 2026.
A feminist activist in her Vermont hometown and beyond, Diana advocates for survivors of sexual violence and works as a community organizer for a rural LGBTQ+ nonprofit.
Diana's first book, WANTING IT, won the Rubery Book Award in poetry, and her second collection, DARK BEDS, was a finalist for the Poetry Society of Virginia’s North American Book Award. Her next book, GIRL TROUBLE, a wild ode to raising girls, surviving rape culture, and excavating female adolescence– is forthcoming from Cavankerry Press in 2026.
A feminist activist in her Vermont hometown and beyond, Diana advocates for survivors of sexual violence and works as a community organizer for a rural LGBTQ+ nonprofit.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 176 reviews
February 25, 2021
An empowering concept for a book, but it fell a little flat.
This book of poetry was short, so I'll make it brief: I honestly couldn't grasp what some of the poets were trying to say in this anthology. There were only a handful of poems that I liked, one of them being Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman. That will always be a showstopper. Other than that, I just didn't vibe with it.
Thank you to Workman Publishing Company for gifting me with an ARC copy of this book!
This book of poetry was short, so I'll make it brief: I honestly couldn't grasp what some of the poets were trying to say in this anthology. There were only a handful of poems that I liked, one of them being Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman. That will always be a showstopper. Other than that, I just didn't vibe with it.
Thank you to Workman Publishing Company for gifting me with an ARC copy of this book!
February 21, 2024
This review and many more can be found on my blog: Feed Your Fiction Addiction
You Don’t Have to Be Everything is a collection of poems from a wonderfully diverse group of woman poets. The book both celebrates the joys of femininity and mourns the pains related to being female in this world. The poems are split into several categories: Seeking, Loneliness, Attitude, Rage, Longing, Shame, Sadness and Belonging. Some of the poems are deeply personal, while others are more universal. Some are written rather simply and in straightforward verse while others take more reflection and digestion to parse out their deeper meanings. Because the collection is written by so many different voices, almost all teen girls will find something to resonate with here. And every girl needs to feel seen.
You Don’t Have to Be Everything is a collection of poems from a wonderfully diverse group of woman poets. The book both celebrates the joys of femininity and mourns the pains related to being female in this world. The poems are split into several categories: Seeking, Loneliness, Attitude, Rage, Longing, Shame, Sadness and Belonging. Some of the poems are deeply personal, while others are more universal. Some are written rather simply and in straightforward verse while others take more reflection and digestion to parse out their deeper meanings. Because the collection is written by so many different voices, almost all teen girls will find something to resonate with here. And every girl needs to feel seen.
July 29, 2022
2.75 stars
I’m sad that I didn’t love more of the poems in this collection. There were only a few poets’ works that really moved me, and I’ll definitely be looking into more of their work. If I’m honest though, the title grabbed my attention more than most of the poems did. The graphics were also nice and frankly without them this book would have been far less interesting. The cover is stunning so I can see why so many people wanted to take pictures with it but then I heard NOTHING about it afterwards.
I wanted to read more poetry so I’m glad I’ve read this book for that reason. This might be a good place to try reading a list of poets to give a try IF you’re really interested in this book. I’ll be honest and say that I wouldn’t really recommend this book and probably won’t remember even picking this up except for the cover.
I’m sad that I didn’t love more of the poems in this collection. There were only a few poets’ works that really moved me, and I’ll definitely be looking into more of their work. If I’m honest though, the title grabbed my attention more than most of the poems did. The graphics were also nice and frankly without them this book would have been far less interesting. The cover is stunning so I can see why so many people wanted to take pictures with it but then I heard NOTHING about it afterwards.
I wanted to read more poetry so I’m glad I’ve read this book for that reason. This might be a good place to try reading a list of poets to give a try IF you’re really interested in this book. I’ll be honest and say that I wouldn’t really recommend this book and probably won’t remember even picking this up except for the cover.
October 25, 2020
Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of You Don't Have to be Everything in exchange for an honest review.
I love poetry collections with my whole heart, but oh my goodness are they difficult to rate and review. Especially when like You Don't Have to Be Everything, they draw from several different writers talking about several different topics in several different styles.
I'm not going to lie, I definitely didn't fully understand every poem in here, but not every poem is written for every person. I did love a lot of them and Whitney's grouped the poems around emotions and provides a brief description before each new emotional section that allows you to understand at least some part of all the poems even if they don't fully resonate with you personally.
Drawing from so many different voices also allowed for a stunning amount of intersectionality here. The poems are all so diverse in subject matter, writer, and speaker that there's almost certainly something here for any and every kind of girl.
I love poetry collections with my whole heart, but oh my goodness are they difficult to rate and review. Especially when like You Don't Have to Be Everything, they draw from several different writers talking about several different topics in several different styles.
I'm not going to lie, I definitely didn't fully understand every poem in here, but not every poem is written for every person. I did love a lot of them and Whitney's grouped the poems around emotions and provides a brief description before each new emotional section that allows you to understand at least some part of all the poems even if they don't fully resonate with you personally.
Drawing from so many different voices also allowed for a stunning amount of intersectionality here. The poems are all so diverse in subject matter, writer, and speaker that there's almost certainly something here for any and every kind of girl.
March 13, 2024
A Beautiful collection of poems that made me feel empowered, and comforted.
In this day in age it's easy to feel pressured to meet all the expectations that are thrown at us, this is the type of book that you tab up so that when you need it you can flip to the poem you need.
In this day in age it's easy to feel pressured to meet all the expectations that are thrown at us, this is the type of book that you tab up so that when you need it you can flip to the poem you need.
April 30, 2021
Absolutely gorgeous book of poetry for teenage girls. Poems about loneliness, longing, attitude, rage . . . by everyone from Amanda Gorman to Margaret Atwood to an amazing line-up of poets whose stunning work deserves a larger audience!
April 5, 2021
This poetry collection was not what I was expecting. It was so much more real and visceral than I anticipated. So many voices were represented and it was beautiful to read. These words were strong and it was honor to read the poets’ truths.
I do feel that some of the content is best suited for older teens, depending on maturity level. It wasn’t was I was expecting thinking of reading material for younger teens. Even more so with some of the words being from mothers. But then I was thinking that maybe these are the words they need to hear? That they haven’t heard. Or that have maybe even been silenced. There were many poems that I could relate to when thinking back to my younger self, and that I could relate to now. There were some that I didn’t really “get” or maybe even disliked, but I think that’s the beauty of poetry. Some you vibe with and some you can choose not to try again, kind of like a box of assorted chocolates.
After reading this collection I reflected on the editors goal of creating a collection that could represent a piece of all identifying women, and to extinguish the inadequacy that we often feel due to the constant noise thrown at us of what we should be. This is a great feminist read.
In this collection I read works by some of my favorite poets, and found new artists that I am looking forward to reading more from.
The artwork that shapes this book, both lyrical and illustrated, is gorgeous. The illustrations are captivating, and the colors help to accentuate the written words, making them come even more alive.
CW: abuse, rape, abortion, eating disorder
I do feel that some of the content is best suited for older teens, depending on maturity level. It wasn’t was I was expecting thinking of reading material for younger teens. Even more so with some of the words being from mothers. But then I was thinking that maybe these are the words they need to hear? That they haven’t heard. Or that have maybe even been silenced. There were many poems that I could relate to when thinking back to my younger self, and that I could relate to now. There were some that I didn’t really “get” or maybe even disliked, but I think that’s the beauty of poetry. Some you vibe with and some you can choose not to try again, kind of like a box of assorted chocolates.
After reading this collection I reflected on the editors goal of creating a collection that could represent a piece of all identifying women, and to extinguish the inadequacy that we often feel due to the constant noise thrown at us of what we should be. This is a great feminist read.
In this collection I read works by some of my favorite poets, and found new artists that I am looking forward to reading more from.
The artwork that shapes this book, both lyrical and illustrated, is gorgeous. The illustrations are captivating, and the colors help to accentuate the written words, making them come even more alive.
CW: abuse, rape, abortion, eating disorder
May 9, 2022
Beautifully illustrated and emotionally heavy. With these selected poems, I rarely remembered specifics after turning the page, but felt the mood long after closing the book.
May 11, 2023
3.5 I just don't think I'm a poetry girl, but I did really like some of the poems and the art and sections were really cool.
October 20, 2022
Temanya bagus. Tapi "datar" banget. Jadi ga enjoy.
May 25, 2021
“You do not have to be good.
You so not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.” (Mary Oliver, excerpt)
This was a beautiful collection. I don't know what I was expecting, but this one surpassed any expectations I might've had.
Split into sections based on emotion, this one has such a wide variety of poems in each section. Some are more traditional-feeling, very abstract and "out there" and others feel more accessible. My preference is typically for poetry that feels natural, easy, more free verse than anything, but I found myself enjoying pretty much all of the poems here. I just let them wash over me without analyzing too hard, and that contributed to my enjoyment of them for sure.
I do think that maybe the sections were labelled too restrictively; I felt that the introductions/explanations for each section were a bit much, and not super necessary. But that's really my only gripe with this one overall.
You so not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.” (Mary Oliver, excerpt)
This was a beautiful collection. I don't know what I was expecting, but this one surpassed any expectations I might've had.
Split into sections based on emotion, this one has such a wide variety of poems in each section. Some are more traditional-feeling, very abstract and "out there" and others feel more accessible. My preference is typically for poetry that feels natural, easy, more free verse than anything, but I found myself enjoying pretty much all of the poems here. I just let them wash over me without analyzing too hard, and that contributed to my enjoyment of them for sure.
I do think that maybe the sections were labelled too restrictively; I felt that the introductions/explanations for each section were a bit much, and not super necessary. But that's really my only gripe with this one overall.
April 4, 2021
I needed this book desperately when I was an adolescent, and I need it almost nearly as much now, at 42 years old. This book is a true testament to feminine power and wildness, as well as despair, loneliness, shame, and the search for identity and belonging. It is a relevant, potent reminder of the societal expectations placed on women from such a young age, but at the same time, it is a reminder that we are indeed enough.
In this brilliant collection, Diana Whitney has compiled the works of extraordinary, fierce, unflinching poets, and gifted us with their voices. She has added her own exquisite voice too, the voice of a talented, skillful writer, who is not afraid to share her own raw, poignant truth. I have already thought of so many girls and women I will gift this book to; it will heal time and time again.
In this brilliant collection, Diana Whitney has compiled the works of extraordinary, fierce, unflinching poets, and gifted us with their voices. She has added her own exquisite voice too, the voice of a talented, skillful writer, who is not afraid to share her own raw, poignant truth. I have already thought of so many girls and women I will gift this book to; it will heal time and time again.
July 9, 2022
Some of the poems were a bit too bland for me, or missed the mark, but overall I feel as though this collection has a strong contender of touching the reader as they navigate through the mental sections that this collection tackles.
October 14, 2020
I am not fan of poems, but if you are you will like it a lot.
January 14, 2022
It didn't grab me as much as I wanted. There are some good poems in there, and poets I want to learn more about, but it's not a collection I think I will run out and buy.
June 2, 2023
The book was aesthetically pleasuring but I felt meh about the poems. I was hopeful it would be nice to share with some of the adolescent clients but it felt to meh for that
October 14, 2020
This is an excellent collection of empowering poems for women to read as they are growing up and going through life's challenges. I wish that I had a book like this when I was younger, especially as a teenager, to remind me that it's okay to be unique and that sadness I feel will not last forever.
The poems are split into different categories for different moods. I truly felt moved and effected by a handful of these, and re-read those over and over to fully understand the impact that it was having on me as I read it. The illustrations that go along with these poems were an added bonus. They were bright and colorful, reminding you that life can be both those things.
There are such great female authors who contributed to this anthology, and I loved that. It was empowering to me, plus it was women writing about these experiences, who understand what these experiences are like for us.
I feel like this is a book that should be required reading for females in high school.
The poems are split into different categories for different moods. I truly felt moved and effected by a handful of these, and re-read those over and over to fully understand the impact that it was having on me as I read it. The illustrations that go along with these poems were an added bonus. They were bright and colorful, reminding you that life can be both those things.
There are such great female authors who contributed to this anthology, and I loved that. It was empowering to me, plus it was women writing about these experiences, who understand what these experiences are like for us.
I feel like this is a book that should be required reading for females in high school.
March 25, 2022
This was a truly gorgeous collection of poetry! Broken into sections surrounding emotions, Diana Whitney curates a diverse collective of female poets and experiences. There's a variety of experiences and stories here, and this would be a great introductory collection for any young poet or for readers looking to get a wide sampling of styles and poets. So many of these poems being intentionally read through the lens of a young girl or woman coming of age make them even more powerful. I would have loved to have this collection when I was in high school, no doubt.
October 15, 2020
Read thanks to NetGalley :D
I really liked this collection!
I don't normally like poetry, but when I saw this title for request I did it right away-- female and queer authors, full of empowerment, for young women? Count me in!
I loved a lot of poems but also didn't like a whole other lot. I think a lot of them were rooted in its authors and therefore extremely personal, so I couldn't fully comprehend them. I would read and understand, but didn't connect at all.
It also has a lot formats on poetry, from typical, structured poetry to Instagram, prose-alike, punctuation mark-less poetry. I bet any reader would love many of these poems and their structure and rhythm.
I really liked this collection!
I don't normally like poetry, but when I saw this title for request I did it right away-- female and queer authors, full of empowerment, for young women? Count me in!
I loved a lot of poems but also didn't like a whole other lot. I think a lot of them were rooted in its authors and therefore extremely personal, so I couldn't fully comprehend them. I would read and understand, but didn't connect at all.
It also has a lot formats on poetry, from typical, structured poetry to Instagram, prose-alike, punctuation mark-less poetry. I bet any reader would love many of these poems and their structure and rhythm.
March 11, 2021
This is a book that I will be buying for my two daughters. It is incredible incredible group of authentic voices and powerful poetry, end it is essential for girls to have this kind of say in the world. I wish something this powerful had been available when I was a kid, because of the strength that I could have taken away from it. I grew up in the 70s, when girls were still struggling to be seen as capable, let alone as equals. One of my friends was the first girl ever to play in our city little league. Had this book been around, maybe I would have felt strong and a short enough to have tried out with her. What a powerful, powerful book. There are a few poems I would not share with my sixth graders, because the themes are more appropriate to high school. However, there is still plenty here that can be used with younger people. this book is about 50 years overdue… Or longer.
March 17, 2021
Thank you NetGalley for this eARC in exchange for my honest review
3.5 stars
I loved how this poetry book was separated into categories of feelings. While I loved that there was a bunch of authors in this book, it was also hard to relate to a lot of the poems because the writing styles were so different. Still if you love poetry I would recommend reading this book!
3.5 stars
I loved how this poetry book was separated into categories of feelings. While I loved that there was a bunch of authors in this book, it was also hard to relate to a lot of the poems because the writing styles were so different. Still if you love poetry I would recommend reading this book!
July 16, 2024
faves in the collection:
-bike ride with older boys by laura kasischke
-lost & found by amy dyransky
-with pretty legs by talin tahajian
-self-portraiture by fariha roisin
-i go back to may 1937 by sharon olds
-when the fat girl gets skinny by blythe baird
-what to say to a friend who wants to give up by jp howard
-for my daughter on a bad day by kate baer
-bike ride with older boys by laura kasischke
-lost & found by amy dyransky
-with pretty legs by talin tahajian
-self-portraiture by fariha roisin
-i go back to may 1937 by sharon olds
-when the fat girl gets skinny by blythe baird
-what to say to a friend who wants to give up by jp howard
-for my daughter on a bad day by kate baer
February 17, 2024
I loved this because of how the chapters were separated into aspects of life that girls of color struggle with. each poem was so personal to the author but it also felt like it was easy to connect myself to them as well.
August 29, 2021
Not totally sure how to review this - great book to check in with every now and then. Favorite was the period poem. “Bleed and bleed and bleed on everything he loves…period”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 18, 2021
Everything about the collection is beautiful.
June 26, 2024
Good collection of poetry on growing up, from a lot of accomplished poets, writers, people.
August 30, 2021
I loved this little poetry collection! It was definitely cheesy at times and I didn't absolutely adore every poem in this book, but I loved the themes and the way the poems were organized. It was a fun read!
January 9, 2023
I’ve promised myself to read poetry daily and maybe write some too so I’m working my way through my own collection at home. I purchased this as part of my Independent Bookstore Day spree and it does not disappoint. As visually appealing as it is timely, this collection made me think and rethink the way society treats women. Raw, direct, and inspiring collection with many of my all time favorites (Maya Angelou) as well as just discovered favorites (Blythe Baird When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny- google it and you won’t be disappointed). Sad to finish it!
Read
February 17, 2023Got this for my burgeoning teen. She has been carrying it around for the past 2 months.
It's a fantastic collection and it's brought poetry to my kid
It's a fantastic collection and it's brought poetry to my kid
Displaying 1 - 30 of 176 reviews