This book is incredibly elementary. Not bad per se, but DEFINITELY nothing novel or special in anyway whatsoever. This information is WAAAY too commonplace to be deserving of anything more than 2 stars for me.
Anyone who has a read a few great self-help books, knows anything about psychology, or takes interest in self-improvement, would have heard nearly all this information before.
This is essentially a 3rd-8th grade level self development book.
I found myself tuning out more and more as it went on. If not for the fact that I already committed to writing a review on it (which I also know will help others), I never would have bothered finishing it. I wouldn't have even came close.
This book is so rudimentary.
Enjoy the Summary 🤗
Format:
Method
Definition
Example
Benefit
Chunking:
Breaking up long term goals into smaller objectives.
Goal: Run 26 miles. Break it into 5 mile increments and look forward to your next milestone. Example: at 8 miles smile knowing you’re nearly at 10 miles.
Leads to better performance than only working toward long term goals, boosts beliefs, increases long term persistence because we can see the progress we are making which is helpful positive feedback.
Write down your goals:
Powerful motivational tool, provides focus and direction
Set open goals:
When aiming for an ambitious fixed target creates too much pressure, set goals with no specific and measurable end goal.
Example: Become a great soccer player, have your videos impact a lot of people
Feels less arduous, you feel more relaxed, makes the task more enjoyable, improves performance
Specific + open goals:
Can lead to a state of flow
If then, planning
If situation X arises then I will do Y
Spells out where when and how we will act to achieve our goals.
Plan how you will cope with setbacks.
Write down “if” scenarios followed by “then”.
Helps you remain focused, and make better decisions, helps you perform your best during setbacks.
Make it a habit:
Habits are automatic, triggered by cues in our environment or by an event.
Replace bad habits with desirable ones.
How to set a habit
Set a goal
Decide which actions will help you achieve your goal
Practice and repeat the new behavior regularly
Repeat it consistently, in the same context, and in response to the same trigger
Emotion Regulation Tools:
Think of emotions as helpful or unhelpful rather than "good" or bad".
Become more aware of the emotions you experience. Be able to label them (this in itself is a helpful strategy). That way you are better able to change how you are feeling.
A few tools you can use:
Daydreaming
Think rationally
Distract yourself
Focus on your goal
Recall past successes
Repeating motivational statements
Suppressing emotions is not a helpful strategy, it harms performance and mental health + wellbeing.
Reappraisal: Change the meaning you attach to an emotion to modify how you experience it. More helpful thoughts will change how you feel about the situation.
Putting problems into perspective, making the best of circumstances, remind yourself that all situations no matter the difficulty, will pass.
Example:
Unhelpful mindset - A professional athlete fearful of making a mistake.
Reappraisal - The crowd makes no difference to how well I can play.
Reappraising upsetting information can help you fell more confident and perform better.
Journaling + Expressing Gratitude:
Helps express our thoughts feelings and insights. Lowers distress, depression, enhances psychological wellbeing and improves physical health. Practice
Helps regulate our emotions, helps us view situations more positively, facilitates personal growth
Schedule "Worry Time"
Write down your worries to release some of the tension associated with them
Breath and Relax
Centering: A breathing technique
Slow deep breaths
Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR)
Grounding Techniques:
Listening to Music
Deep Breathing
Exercising
5-4-3-2-1
Focus and Concentration:
Amateurs: Distract themselves from the physical sensations they experience
Athletes: Focus on their overall performance
Distractions are good when the focus is to feel better but not for time based/speed dependent tasks.
Focusing on body sensations periodically and your pace allows for better performance (faster).
Mindfulness:
Notice your thoughts and feelings, but don't judge or react to them in any way.
This helps you detach from these experiences and remain focused.
5-4-3-2-1 is a mindfulness technique
Metaphor:
The sky = your awareness
The weather = your thoughts and feelings
The weather can be pleasant or turbulent, but it comes and goes regardless.
Accept your thoughts and let them drift away.
Has numerous benefits
Flow:
An optimal experience, a state of deep effortless focus.
Requires clear short-term goals with ability to receive feedback on progress, and the ability to achieve a balance of the situation being challenging but not too challenging for you.
Clutch: a state of consciously deciding to perform at your best in response to your situation.
Focus on what you can control
Develop routines: thoughts and actions you engage in immediately before performing a skill.
Pre & post performance routines help us focus.
Use trigger words or phrases:
Helps us focus our attention and conditions how we want to feel in that moment.
Ex: Calm confident and in control, F.I. = Fuck it (mindset) was written on a runners shoe as a reminder
Self Talk Tools:
What you say to yourself can change how you feel and perform in a situation.
Motivational & instructional self talk helps our performance
Speaking to yourself in the second person ("You can do it") or using your name helps distance you from the challenging situation making it seem like the situation is happening to someone else. This helps feel less caught up and engrossed in the stressful feelings.
Sources to develop self confidence:
Previous accomplishments: Our strongest source. Meticulously record your preparation and milestone achievements. Keep a journal detailing your progress and refer back to it regularly to feed your self-confidence.
Learning from the experiences of others: Learn from their successes and failures. Speak to a role model
Verbal Persuasion: Being encouraged by others, the positive self talk you engage in with yourself. Get a good support crew
How you interpret your feelings: You can interpret butterflies in your stomach as nervousness or excitement for the new experience you are about to embark on
Imagination: Visualize yourself performing well and mastering the task. Rehearse specific skills and techniques in your imagination
This book is as basic as it gets.
It's all information you get rummaging through Instagram or YouTube.
I'd say writing down your previous accomplishments specifically to refer back to them to boost your confidence is the only advice I haven't already heard touted around a ton from others.