Caring for the Souls of Children: A Biblical Counselor's Manual

by Amy Baker (Editor)

Coming alongside struggling children can feel like an uphill battle. Yet children struggle with the same desires adults struggle with, are lured by the same lies adults fall prey to, and can find hope in the same source adults can find hope—in Jesus. This manual helps counselors share Christ—the way, the truth, and the life—while tailoring interactions and teachings to the understanding of children.

Caring for the Souls of Children equips counselors, parents, pastors, and other helpers who want to love children to boldly trust in the sufficiency of Scripture. Edited by counselor and author Amy Baker, this in-depth resource begins with an overview of foundational principles for counseling children and addresses a different counseling topic in each subsequent chapter. Topics addressed include a wide variety of general and specific issues that children face including anxiety, anger, abuse, suicidal thoughts and actions, self-harm, shame, grief, disability, disease, sexual identity, and many others. Articles are written by a wide range of biblical counselors, authors, and pastors who have worked with children for many years including Amy Baker, Julie Lowe, Marty Machowski, Jessica Thompson, Jonathan Holmes, Michael R. Emlet, Garrett Higbee, Edward T. Welch, Kevin Carson, Harvest USA, Charles Hodges, Joni and Friends, Bob Kellemen, and Pam Bauer.

Genres: Counselling, Parenting, Audiobook, Christian, Christian Living

304 pages, Paperback

Published September 7, 2020

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Amy Baker, PhD, is the Ministry Resource Director at Faith Church (Lafayette, IN) and an instructor and counselor at Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries. On the board of directors for Vision of Hope and a council member of the Biblical Counseling Coalition, Amy is the author of Getting to the Heart of Friendships and several counseling minibooks. She and her husband Jeff have two children.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as part of a class off the list of "optional" titles thinking that as a teacher and grandparent it sounded useful. I haven't yet seen much material specifically directed at counseling children biblically, so it caught my eye. I decided to pick it up on Audible because it was decidedly cheaper that way, but I actually wish I had it in hand as it turned out to be something I think would be helpful as a reference tool with lists and suggestions it would be nice to be able to refer back to.

Overall, I found most of the content quite good and useful. As with any compilation, some authors were better than others. Also, when reading you have to keep in mind that while each topic is covered specifically and practically, no chapter could say everything important to their topic. In general, though, I found lots of practical and insightful truths to apply in relationship to the children in my life without needing to specifically be a counselor. I actually think this would be an excellent text for parents to read as they seek to shepherd the hearts of their children.

I particularly appreciated that each author seemed to attempt to avoid ditches on either sides of roads and temper their advice with an acknowledgement that matters of the soul, especially little souls, are never simple or straightforward. There was a sense of compassion running throughout that I also find lacking in some of the other material I've listened to or read for the class I read this alongside.

Rounded up to 4-stars in my mind because of how little I've seen done well in either books or talks on these topics relating to children.

[Alistair Chalmers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pastoring and counselling people is tough! It’s hard to know what to say at times and it’s hard to know when to listen and when to speak. Counsellors are a huge blessing to the church and with their professional expertise they can be a great help. Many pastors are learning not eh job as they go, pulling on different resources and helpful tips to help us along the way. One of the hardest ages to care for pastorally, in my opinion, is children. Here is a resource that will help with that. Whether you’re a pastor, a parent, a teacher, a friend or a family member, this book will be a great resource to have on your shelf.

Too often we think that children are too little to think through what the Bible teaches and how it changes lives. It’s so easy to simplify answers to children’s questions because we think that the same answers we would give adults are too complicated. This all transfers over to how we care for them and pastor them as well. Here’s what Amy Baker says about that

“For children, the struggles, desires, and hopes are no different than for those of us who are adults. Therefore, the counsel we provide for them should lead them to the same place—the good news of Jesus Christ.”

The book is split into two parts. In the first part the foundations and methodological issues for counselling children are presented. In the second part specific issues or areas are addressed where children may need counselling. The book address four broad subject; children and their relationships, emotions, bodies and trauma. Under each brand category there are multiple chapters written by different counsellors to aid the reader.

This book covers so much ground it is quite remarkable. One of the things that I like about this book is that it’s a collaboration of different authors and counsellors. Each chapter is written by an expert, or experienced, person in that field. Another thing I really liked about this book is the importance that it puts on God’s Word for counselling.

The number of different authors of the chapters is one of the reason that this book is such a helpful tool. Pages of experienced pastors, authors and biblical counsellors equipping the reader to sensitively and faithfully care for the soul of a child.

I’m really thankful that I read this book and would highly recommend it to parents, people in ministry and those who are thinking about pursuing a career in biblical counselling. If you want to seriously consider how you can care for children in some of the very relevant but difficult areas of life today, I suggest that you get this book. Each page is full of wisdom and valuable insights that will help to equip you to counsel children, ask the right questions and go to the right Scriptures.

[Julie Havener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are a counselor or the parents of children this book will be a reference to which you will return. The thoughtful but concise advice not only of the source of the issues but how to lovingly address them is very helpful. Well written and easy to read and take notes on I am grateful it exists. Thank you Amy Baker for compiling the resource.

[D · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love all the content coming out from the biblical counseling coalition. Excited to think in many ways it is just getting started! Much work to be done and I am thankful for these resources. Great entry work to a plethora of issues common to children and to all. I will come back to this many times.

[Hilary Swiers · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve read pertaining to caring for a child’s heart! So many good biblical references and responses to hurt, anxious, traumatized, and angry children.

[Rachel Ekberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe I really liked this book or maybe I just liked discussing it with Julie and Addie and Eva 😉 very practical book from some very experienced biblical counselors.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

really helpful, but also the second half is really heavy and sad. makes you really long for Christ.

[Caroline Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had super high hopes for this book and I believe they were met! Thankful for resources in caring for young ones! I have many young little friends at my church and it has helped me (merely a friend) understand their little hearts more and love them more!

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This great resource speaks to many situations that children face, and provides biblical counselors and parents with tools and advice to address them pastorally and with care.

Beginning by addressing foundational and methodological issues and developmental stages, it encourages counselors to reach out to children with gospel truths and comfort. This provides a framework, which is then used as the focus turns to numerous specific counseling issues that are addressed by different authors.

Children and their relationships includes leading children to Jesus, the relationship with parents and friendships. Children and their emotions, included helping those who are anxious, angry, dealing with shame, and what to consider after a suicide attempt. Children and their bodies covers talking about sex, sexual identity, children who self harm, and those with a disability or disease. All were balanced, helpful, compassionate and contained wise advice. Finally, children and trauma covers abuse, children of divorce, facing grief and death, and children not living with their biological parents.

Some observations:

* Each chapter is structured around an example of a child and their situation, which is then used as springboard to consider the wider issue. It’s a helpfully concrete way in to considering the issue being addressed.
* Numerous authors refer to the Psalms as a way in to talking with children and giving them the language they need. This reflects the reality that children can gain as much truth, comfort, instruction and wisdom from Scripture as adults, and we should desire to lead children to these truths and help them find ways to absorb them and apply them to themselves.
* Every chapter has a ‘word to parents’, making this book extremely accessible to carers as as well as biblical counselors. These assist parents to reach out and care for their children, while being aware of their own struggles.
* It's a little surprising there is no chapter on depression, or mental health challenges generally.
* You shouldn’t read this and then expect to be fully equipped to counsel children. This would be one of many resources you would want to have before you proceed. However, the wisdom and insight contained within will encourage those who counsel children (both ‘officially’ and ‘unofficially’) to consider how the gospel impacts all aspects of a child’s life and circumstances, and how to journey with them to see the Lord is for them and with them.
* Similarly, it’s true that God’s word is indeed sufficient, but it needs to be applied wisely, well and appropriately. This book is a help to that end, but not the only resource and skills you would want. Some chapters (eg the one on abuse) really only started to address the issues, rather than being comprehensive.

In conclusion, this is a good guide for parents, caregivers and counselors as they reach out to children, helping them to see God is at work, is in control and loves them, through the complexities of life.

I received an ecopy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jessica Head · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great and insightful book! Navigating difficult trials are hard for adults and even more so for children. As a teacher, I can feel lost at times when helping my students process big emotions and sinful reactions that often appear in the classroom. I'm thankful to work at a small classical Christian school where the Gospel's good news is woven throughout our curriculum and everyday practices. But some situations are more severe than others, and the fear of the unknown often leaves me paralyzed.


Caring for the Souls of Children: A Biblical Counselor's Manuel (New Growth Press) is an engaging and practical resource for counselors, pastors, ministry leaders, teachers, and the like to help children process and work through their specific struggles with the help of the Bible. This in-depth resource begins with a summary of foundational principles for counseling and working with children and addresses a different topical situation in each chapter.

One chapter I found extremely helpful was the section on helping children with friendship. Children usually expect friendship to come and remain easy. They view friendship from an "all about me" lens. Many of their friends enjoy the same hobbies and think as they do. But how do we help our children go beyond their friendship comfort zone? How do we help them think of friendship more sacrificially? Caring for the Soul of Children helps lay a scriptural foundation for viewing friendship in the light of the Gospel. Christ was our friend when we were still dead in our sins with nothing to offer him, and yet he chose to draw us to his side (John 1:14). Sharing and modeling this with our children helps them see how the Gospel permeates how we view companionship. This chapter also had helpful sections on dealing with peer pressure and bullying, which are very prevalent in today's society, whether in person or online.

Two other helpful chapters included working with anxious children and children dealing with death and grief. Because of COVID-19, many of our children have experienced the loss of loved ones, seen parents go through immense stress because of job loss and decreased finances, and shared the overnight, abrupt changes of a world in a pandemic. Caring for the Souls of Children provides excellent activities and questions to help children process their fearful emotions while being reminded through scripture of God's great care for them. By reminding them of God's unchanging promises, we help lay a framework they can carry into adulthood regardless if life brings joy or sorrow.

I'm abundantly thankful for the "Word to Parents" section in each individual chapter, as well. Partnering well with parents is an important part of classical education and I appreciate the helpful tools to help bring parents into the daily conversations about our sin and struggles that are happening at school.

[Reyna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I´d love to have when I was studying counseling. And is a book I will recommend to all my classmates from now on. Edward T. Welch, and Joni Eareckson Tadda are authors that I have enjoyed through the years, so when I saw they were contributors and I had Rob Green as professor years ago, so I wanted to read the whole book. I have taken some courses that focus on children counseling before, the common drawings and figures you show to children, as usual interpretation is very subjective with some methods, in some courses I have taken I didn´t find the ideas/methods very legit or scientific to get to a children´s heart, they just consider behavior or were truly boring (treating children, pre-teens and teens as very immature creatures). Don´t get me wrong, children are indeed immature, but we don´t have to underestimate them, we can communicate and deal with hard issues with good communication, just as we do with grownups it is what Amy also explains. The wisdom and practical ideas this book have to approach a children´s heart, their attention, and what I loved the most: how to help their own parents to help them and involve in the healing/improvement process, I totally agree with that approach (obviously when the parents have mental health and are not toxic. I found that a very valuable approach in this book.

"For children, the struggles, desires, and hopes are no different than for those of us who are adults. Therefore, the counsel we provide for them should lead them to the same place—the good news of Jesus Christ".

I absolutely recommend this material and can´t way to see how these practices are going to improve future counseling sessions. I´m grateful for all the serious and devoted authors of these chapters. It is a good idea to keep this manual handy.

[Jennifer Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

With chapters contributed by many different counsellors, this book gives a great overview of the many issues facing children today and is full of practical and biblical wisdom coupled with many years of experience between all the counsellors. Each chapter not only speaks to the counsellor, but I also appreciated that each chapter also addressed parents. This book was so helpful to me as the parent of three teenagers. I loved that the sections to parents applied to me as a parent reading, or could help me in my counselling to speak to the parent’s needs directly.

Also included in many chapters were helpful charts, lists, practical ideas to use during sessions and of course, each chapter included a Bible passage to work through with the children. These practical helps is what spurred me to order a hard copy for myself - I see myself turning to specific chapters for ideas when needed.

I appreciated this book’s wide range of topics. Nothing was shied away from, including many hard topics that kids face today. Anxiety, cutting, suicide, abuse, disabilities, divorce, and more are all covered with wisdom and grace. “Wisdom is knowing what type of intervention they need, while wisely, consistently pointing them to greater faith.”

[Melissa Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though this book is designed for Biblical counselors, I believe every parent should own this book. I think I'll start giving it at baby showers. The book says many times, parents are the first Biblical counselors. So many cases for Biblical counseling can be avoided if parents are equipped with God's Word and are using it as the powerful life giving tool it is. The end of each chapter is a word to parents. The book is written with case examples. I read it all the way through to have a general idea for each issue. This book can be used as a reference. Each chapter is a different issue a child could be struggling with. Every foster parent should definitely own this book!!! I plan on reading the chapter on "Counseling children not living with their biological parents" every time we get a new placement. As well as any chapter that a caseworker says a child is struggling with such as anger.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have such mixed feelings about this book. Some chapters are excellent (Counseling children of divorce for example) and others are reprints from booklets. But I have a number of concerns - firstly, the definition of spiritual development is a problem; secondly, the conversionistic chapter by machowski is disappointing; but thirdly there are some significant subjects missing such as domestic violence and paired with its brevity, I worry that this may leave the reader thinking they're ready to go. The pattern of most of the chapters (start with a story and end with a word to parents) became a little too predictable after a while too. While there are some really helpful sections, I struggle with this as a 'one stop shop' for counseling children.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great text for parents as well! Some of the chapters were difficult to push through whereas others flowed better for me. I’m not sure if this was because of the author (several authors are presented in this book) or because the topic itself didn’t interest me as much. I gleaned some great information in relation to parenting my kids and also received some very helpful insights I hadn’t considered before in regards to children from traumatic backgrounds.

[Laura Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not listen to all of it but it was a tremendous help to me in realigning my focus. Counseling children can be daunting but they’re just humans who need a relationship with Christ just like adults do. And I love the focus of equipping the parents to counsel and aide their own children. I would definitely recommend this to anyone that works with children in almost any capacity, even to parents.

[J. Alfred · Rating 3 out of 5]

Moving, helpful and gentle essays on how we can be more useful figures in the lives of hurting children around us. I'm thankful that we have people like the authors in the church broadly and I think it's a good goal for us all to try to get closer to them in the way that we think about the vulnerable people.

[Logan Prettyman · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best biblical counseling books I’ve read. It’s fairly comprehensive and deals with each topic in a fair bit of depth. Excellent understanding of the nature of children and how best to counsel them. Well worth anyone’s time who spends a fair bit of time with children (parents included).

[JT Goodart · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really helpful and insightful book on counseling and engaging with children at all different stages experiencing all sorts of challenges - normal and abnormal. It seems useful for both parents and counselors and I will definitely come back to reference this in the future.

[Lisa Horne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great Resource

Baker, et al., does an excellent job delving into the different areas biblical counselors can help children struggling in various situations. AN impressive book that is much needed in our current time.

[Amanda Bittner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great and necessary read/resource. It’s just a great book to have in knowing how to counsel/help children on a lot of common issues they face. So practical, full of case studies and specific ways to counsel and help children. Will use this and return to it a ton in the future!

[Joshua Reichard · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have given this more stars but it really is better as a reference guide then a straight read through.

And besides there are better resources on child counseling.

[Elizabeth Aucoin · Rating 4 out of 5]

great resource - covers a LOT of ground.

[Kellyanne Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate the experience shared here and how the authors provide guidance as a counselor and as a parent.

[Anne-Marie Laberge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Must have for kids counselors. It is encouraging and always pointing in God’s direction. Offering good advices on a variety of subject

[Tim Sheppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful initial concepts and principles for various situations that may come up in counseling. I liked the data gathering questions that can be used for an intake.

[Yajaira Marmolejo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing! I love how each case is treated with so much compassion, love and care for the soul of the child.

[Kaitlyn Pindak · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve ever read on kids! And I feel like it’s very applicable to any ages

[Frank · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very practical book on counseling children through different events and struggles in life. A must read for any biblical counselor.

[Andrew Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful. Written for biblical counselors, but a lot of good fodder for parents in shepherding their children.