I Am Restored: How I Lost My Religion but Found My Faith

by Lecrae

When the challenges you've faced threaten to destroy your life, how do you find your way back to the truths you thought you believed?

I Am Restored tells the untold story of how Lecrae's past nearly ruined his future--until he learned that the wounds we carry can have the potential to be unlikely guides to healing and freedom for ourselves and others.

Throughout I Am Restored, Lecrae documents the shattering yet hopeful story of how he faced the scars of his past--sexual abuse, physical trauma, addiction, and depression--and emerged more fully human than ever before. With remarkable transparency and vulnerability, Lecrae reveals that at the height of his professional success, his life was spinning out of control, driven by a past that he had never confronted and a religious perspective that was incapable of meeting the challenge.

I Am Restored takes an unflinching look at the personal and public spaces that are too often at the societal core of our pain and heartache--culture, politics, family, church, and more--and teaches us that forgiveness can be the birthplace of the life that God has created for us.

Throughout this powerful, deeply personal account, Lecrae shares the life lessons he's learned about:

• Confronting the pain and trauma that has shaped your story
• Breaking the cycle of sin and shame and embracing joy and authenticity
• Finding hope and healing in the midst of chaos
• The simple practices that can change your mental, emotional, and spiritual health
• Leading a life that's bursting with creativity and true freedom

I Am Restored is a hopeful, inspiring charge to start your journey to lasting healing today. No matter what your past has held, God is near you, he hears you, and he's not done writing your story.

Genres: Christian, Memoir, Nonfiction, Faith, Biography, Audiobook, Christian Living

181 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 13, 2020

Reviews

[Lacey Mubanga · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d like to start this out by saying that I hate rating memoirs! Rating someone’s life story just feels wrong.

I read this book because I had noticed Lecrae’s movement away from Christian music and saw how he appeared to be falling out of relationship with God and into relationship with the secular world. It saddened me since he is one of my very favorite Christ-centered hip-hop artists. I was really excited when I saw this book was coming out. I really appreciated his transparency regarding his crisis of faith and his traumatic past of sexual abuse, alcohol addiction, and prescription drug abuse. Those are not easy things reveal to the world. I hadn’t known any of that information before, not having read his prior book. I’m going to have to make it a point to go back and listen to some of the music he mentions that he wrote regarding those times. His return journey to faith seems very real and I’m pleased. He had some great advice for life in general, though he and I don’t agree on everything, which is fine! I didn’t take any stars off for that. 😊

What I struggled with was the writing. The book had lots of typos and sentences that were worded strangely and required a few readings to garner the meaning of. I think a better editor may have helped, though I do appreciate hearing his voice ring true. I also had issues with the hopping back and forth in time without any clear transitions. I couldn’t figure when he was talking about a lot of the time until I was in the next section and could MAYBE reference it. The timeline confusion took away some of the reading ease and enjoyment.

Overall, I’m really glad I read this and I’m so happy he’s found his way back. I’m sure his family is overjoyed, and I look forward to listening to his new music.

[Marian Jacobs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I've been following Lecrae for years, and after his last album, Restoration, came out, I knew I had to read the book too. Immediately after things blew up with my past trauma this fall, the new album released. I listened to it every single day for months. I was hoping for more of the same when I picked this up, but never did I dream he would also discuss another topic very close to my heart--the problems in the reformed church. I am (still) a white, reformed Christian. But unlike Lecrae feeling like he'd walked out on his family, the black church, in order to hang out with a bunch of theological snobs who in turn walked out on him, *I* have often felt that my own family (the reformed church) have let me down in the area of legalism. And I know so many others who could say the same. So many times in every chapter of this book I cried out, "Me too! That's exactly how I feel!" (Except I'll never understand what it feels like to be black--which is why I value stories like these so much.) The difference now is that I can't leave those people. I've definitely thought about it many times, but I always come back to the same conclusions--they're my family, my often dysfunctional family. I'm going to follow Lecrae's advice and listen to the voices of the marginalized (as a female writer, I sometimes feel like I'm one of them), but I'm also going to stay in the reformed church. I believe God can restore me, and I pray, in time, that he will humble my family too. After all, “I fear pride more than death.” -John Piper

[Kenzie | kenzienoelle.reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have followed and been a fan of Lecrae and his music for over a decade. This book is a whole new level of transparency, rawness and realness.

“When we’re at our lowest point, our problems appear magnified and are all we can see. Our mindset becomes dominated by the pain of the moment we’re in. We can’t see anything other than what we’re facing.”

“After truly sitting in the presence of God and submitting to healthier rhythms, I finally feel true joy. I feel peace that overwhelms me and drives out chaos when I wake up. I feel the love that comes from allowing myself to be forgiven without constant shame.”

Lecrae writes about dealing with doubt, personal trauma, church hurt, politics, Blackness, depression and so much more. This book was phenomenal and I am going to recommend it to so many people.

[(Adri)ana | TenPieceLemonPepper · Rating 5 out of 5]

i have always been what i call a “millennial Christian.” my faith in Jesus is absolutely devout. however, i am fully aware of the dangers of traditional (see: white) evangelical Christianity and am aware that at its core, evangelical Christianity is rooted in racism, misogyny/sexism, homophobia and colonialism. which is why i have always said that i am not religious, i have a RELATIONSHIP with Christ. because there is certainly a difference.

i am absolutely pro-Black, pro-immigration, pro-choice, pro-hoe, an ally for the LGBTQIA+ community, and a mental health advocate.

which is why i was both shocked and excited when i noticed Lecrae starting to shift his views and platform a bit a few years ago. and after reading this book, i have so much more respect for him. every millennial Christian should read this book.

[Tim Franks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this book a 3.5 rating. I really appreciate the full transparency and thoughts Lecrae gives in this book. I agree with many of his evaluation of how Christians view things and have used/treated him over the years. I have chosen not to leave him behind still wanting to interact and listen to his music. I don’t agree with some of his landing spots and it does feel a lot like he is just joining a different tribe with some of his stances he takes in this book. After reading Weep With Me before this one I am trying to learn to listen more and lament with those of color that have had different experiences than me. I am thankful for the opportunity to hear directly from Lecrae on the issues at hand and with his own life.

[Nelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

One thought I had whilst reading this is: Celebrity Culture is actually not healthy. So many people lose themselves in this ocean of being a celebrity. Thank God Lecrae found his way back to himself.

Lecrae's story is both beautiful and heartbreaking as he narrates how he lost himself, started drinking and popping pills as he tried to not deal with the trauma from his past experiences.

A lot of this was new to me as I haven't read Unashamed but I came away from this knowing Lecrae more and grateful to have had an opportunity to learn from him

[Annie Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. If you’ve experienced church hurt, or hurt from Christianity in any way, this one’s for you. Through the telling of his own story, Lecrae looks at how evangelical Christian culture has skewed our view of God, and the way He holistically cares for our souls, bodies, minds and spirits. Couldn’t put this one down, and might read it again!

[Antwoine Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a black christian with trauma myself, I think it was really important for me to read this book. I think lecrae's story reflects mine and is very encouraging but also real. I think it's a good book for anyone to read and strongly recommend it

[Dre J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lecrae is one of my favorites. I have been listening to him since his album "real talk." The two songs from the Restoration album that spoke to my soul were drown and deep end and I can tell from those songs and this writing that he was going through something heavy. I also enjoyed his last book so this one was definitely on my list. I really feel like you have to know a little about his music and some of Lecrae's journey to understand his story. I remember going to his concerts at predominantly white churches/events and being one of the only black faces that supported and I also remember seeing the shift it took when he embraced "black lives matter" and people turned on him for being (you guessed it) a black man that hates seeing his people killed. He has had an interesting journey and i feel that him opening up Jesus to the mainstream of hip hop is so necessary. Jesus is not just for the church like people try to lock him up in...he is for all that want to call out his name and seek him and I believe that is what Lecrae has done with his music and this memoir makes you appreciate him for being a Christian, a father, a husband, and a man just trying to figure it out and deal with life like the rest of us.

[John Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last few years have produced a number of prominent "deconversions" and "exvangelical" stories from some of my favorite artists and authors, all of which have been difficult. Lecrae's apparent wandering from Christianity seemed destined to wind up in the same place. That's why this read, while difficult in many ways, was also refreshing. After a childhood spent in poverty and abuse, Lecrae went on to experience a very different set of challenges that come with celebrity status. This is the story of how he hit rock bottom, made some bad life choices, and "lost his religion." Thankfully, it's also the story of how God used the ministry of biblical counseling to help him reconstruct a faith that is strong, even if he differs in some important areas from the Reformed evangelical circles in which he spent much of the last decade. His is an important story, particularly for those of us who hold different theological and political convictions.

[Fran Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one challenged me on so many levels! Thank you Lecrae!

[Kimberly Patton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man, he went through a lot. What a journey. I appreciated his depth of not only opening up his most personal and intense thoughts and feelings but also history and perspective and a longer scope of time. God has never given up on him and he’s using his transformation to experience God in a healthier way. I enjoyed it but it was hard to hear at some points. His life has been filled with difficult moments amidst all the success and fame. I’m proud of him for opening himself up to dealing with his trauma and pain.

Enjoyed the audiobook format read by the author!

[Alexis Asamoah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not the most well-written book and a little redundant at points, but I really liked his main message. I only started listening to Lecrae within the past few years, so a lot of what he talked about were things I had no idea about. I loved his transparency and could really relate to his experience as a black person in a westernized, white evangelical context. I questioned my faith in God because my relationship with the church had changed, when in reality, I was seeing that the westernized, white evangelical church wasn’t the one and only right way. A lot of people who grow up in these churches are very judgmental and sometimes narrow-minded and as a person of color, you feel out of place and misunderstood. Really glad Lecrae could share his perspective and personal journey with mental health as well. This was a quick read!

[Beki Eikum · Rating 4 out of 5]

So appreciate this man and this book. Glad I read it. Hearing about his falling out with the reformed evangelical branch of the church was the main draw for me. We need to listen to each other and love one another deeply!

[Christy Tucker]

While there are political opinions I disagreed with in this book, I still enjoyed it. I think it is important to read books that I may not agree with in part or their entirety, with topics that deal with life, theology, and the world. Lecrae expresses this opinion in this book as well: “And while I don’t have to believe in every single tenet of any theological system, I believe we all need to read a broad collection of voices.”
I’m not comfortable with the us vs them mentality that seems to be taking over in our culture. I want to be more informed, and more understanding of the position of others with the hopes that with enough knowledge of the perspectives of others, I can have a foundation to interact and find common ground.

I appreciated Lecrae’s vulnerability and transparency as he shared his personal story of living through trauma and the personal struggles that followed. I enjoyed reading about his journey out of chaos, the lessons he learned and how his relationship with God changed along the way. One quote I loved from the book is: “But over time I have become convinced that God had a script for me to follow. His script is simply to love him completely, love my neighbors faithfully, & navigate life in light of these two commands.”

[Addy Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

As soon as I heard that Lecrae would be releasing a book to go alongside his latest album, Restoration, I'd been anticipating it for months. When it finally arrived in the mail on release day, I was super excited to read it!

I've always admired Lecrae and have been amazed at how the Lord has used him. He is evidence that 'who the Lord calls, He keeps'. Lecrae has been through so many difficult things in his life, and this book talks in detail about those and a hard season of depression. He also touches on topics like politics, abortion, and racism.

While I found that I don't view certain things the same way Lecrae does, it was refreshing to read another perspective and get to know his heart better.

Overall, four stars from me! I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

You are never beyond restoration. . .

[Alice' Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVEE the audiobook - read by the author - recommending this book to all my friends- especially the ones who got burned by the Baptist college we attended. There is a lot of hope and healing in this book for those who are willing to listen.

[Princess Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Transparency is what I love. Often celebrities especially those in the faith category are put on a high pedestal. It’s always humbling to listen to their stories and understand we all have struggles and no one is perfect.

[Camelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a surprising find this one! Not something that I would’ve picked, but I am so glad. ‘Cas exactly the reasons why I wouldn’t have picked it … were the reasons why I should’ve. To remove some lenses I was seeing things through. I was made aware - even more - of some biases I was claiming I didn’t have.
The audio is really good - I loved listening to this book. And it’s the first time I can follow an audio book! So … chapeau. 🎩

[Lanaya Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book. The writing was full of vulnerability, brokeness, humility, and grace. I would recommend to anyone questioning Christianity and to anyone who identifies as a Christian. I listened to the audio book read by the author, which was great! It's a short, easy listen.

[Ryan Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to this on Spotify. Very challenging and although Lecrae has some opinions and views I don’t fully agree with it’s good to get a different perspective on social issues today. What I enjoyed most was the vulnerability and honestly Lecrae showed in his book. It adds an extra layer of depth when listening to his music! Would recommend reading/listening if you’re into Lecrae’s music!

[Jessicah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow I really learned a lot from his perspective, this book has challenged me .

[Brittany Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

EXCELLENT !

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall the book was fine, yet lacking. For me that something missing is the fullness of the story. There were many general references to people, events, and challenges - I wanted the depth that comes in the details. It connects me to the human being vs feeling held at arms length.

Obviously the author has every right to keep private as much as he prefers. I was left wanting more as this felt more surface level and just didn’t hit me in the heart like I’d hoped.

[Ashlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honesty. Vulnerability. And truth, that any one, especially the body of Christ, NEEDS to hear.

For understanding the impact of the black perspective in the church. For understanding the lack of solid foundational teaching in the church and the bad fruit that comes forth from it.

For understanding the beauty and FREEDOM found in relationship with Christ to be the individuals He made us to be.

Lecrae shares his story of navigating and wrestling with truth so beautifully and eloquently. Highly recommend.

[Chuck Hoover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this book 10 stars if I could. Lecrae does a masterful job of taking the reader through his life: the trauma he has experienced, the destructive behaviors that resulted, and how God restored him out of it. This book is a deeply personal view into Lecrae's life. In an industry that often pretends that its celebrities are perfect, Lecrae shows that Christian artists need God's mercy and grace just like everyone else.

[Elisha Bronner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate hearing Lecrae’s story from him firsthand. I didn’t necessarily love the writing style, but I appreciate every bit of his journey that he chose to share. I am thankful for this story of restoration and redemption in his life, taking us to the lowest depths he experienced and back to where he found hope again. I recommend this for anyone who has been impacted by Lecrae’s music/life in any capacity!

[Tim Brady · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw, honest, and intriguing. Although we may differ in certain political views, I found Lecrae’s story extremely powerful. His discovery about the importance of mental health and healthy life rhythms was great to read. I highly recommend this book as it provides a great perspective on faith and spiritual journeys from a man that comes from a very interesting background and mix of experiences.

[Dan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've been listening to Lecrae since his very 1st album and have appreciated his music & his witness for decades. However, after listening to his book it confirms that in recent years he's gone woke which is disappointing. Another one bites the dust

[Ben Denison · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wrote a long review to this book but erased it. I have nothing good to say.