Abnormal Normal: My Life in the Children of God

by Mary Mahoney

A rational look into a very irrational group mentality.The early 1970’s was a turbulent time in the US. Anti-war protesters took to the streets, countless students dropped out and became hippies, and drug use spread among the young. As if to offer the youth a way out of this societal storm, there arose a rebirth of Christianity, the Jesus People. The Children of God was at the cutting edge of this movement. It is behind the curtains of this enigmatic group that our story unfolds.Mary was only 16 when she was swept into the Children of God. The hugs, the camaraderie, the sincerity of the members touched her deeply, and she fell in love with their pure ideology of living simply and freely for Jesus. She threw herself heart, mind, and soul into what she saw as a noble life of self-sacrifice. Her days were filled with studying and memorizing the Bible and the group’s texts, and telling others of her new-found faith. From that naive and well-meaning beginning, her world ever so gradually transformed through the years into a veritable house of horrors. But by then, she could not see the abuse, the exploitation, and the cruelty that surrounded her for what it was. Her sense of normal had also been transformed. Determined to never go back on her initial commitment, she continued on in denial, doing her best to be what she had been told “the Lord wanted her to be.”Imagine the shock she felt when the curtain was lifted after 31 years and she saw the Children of God for what it was. The guilt she felt for having been part of that abusive and exploitative group, the years she had lost, the family she had given up—all these had been sacrificed on the altar of her misplaced idealism. But worst of all, what weighed the most heavily on her broken spirit was the horrific realization that she had raised her children—the ones she loved the most in the world—in that toxic atmosphere.How Mary pulled herself out of the darkness of despair and rebuilt her life is a tribute to the power of education and the indomitable strength of the human spirit.

361 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 28, 2020

Reviews

[James Neill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary Mahoney tells an engrossing story of her ensnarement in a notorious cult of the 70s and 80s, and provides fascinating details on the psychological forces that make it all but impossible for cult members to break away from them. Mahoney is a fine writer and pulls the reader along in an engrossing narrative that recounts how the world that seemed so welcoming and loving when she joined evolved into a repressive and demeaning nightmare run by a privileged echelon of superior souls living a lifestyle of luxury who demand unwavering "Christian" commitment while issuing arbitrary commands that could turn a member's world completely upside down on the spur of the moment. It was painful to read the degrading things the cult's elite demanded of lesser members, such as prostituting themselves to bring in money while justifying the sex trade by having the members proselytize and giving their customers Children of God literature. All in the name of Jesus. I was struck at how the psychological factors Mahoney describes that make it difficult for a member to avoid a mind meld with the cult's bizarre view of reality also apply to current affairs in the US, i.e., the cult of Trump, QAnon, and devotion to the right wing news echo chamber. Bravo to Mary Mahoney for shining a light on the insidious ways of so-called Christian avatars.

[E.J. Bauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in one day and spent much of the time with my heart clenched for the author and her family. Spanning over 30 years within the highly controversial cult, Children of God, the memoir examines the recruitment, control, ideology and conditioning involved.
What made a lasting impression was the author's conviction she would never be involved in a cult and the denial of all things abnormal during her time of service. Her retrospection, especially the citing of published psychological experiments to explain members' behaviour and blind acceptance of the leadership's edicts, reveal an intelligent and insightful approach to finally dealing with the wasted years.

[Rosalie Haas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too many excuses

The author, at the beginning of the book, relates her tremendous feelings of guilt and blame, particularly for allowing her own children to be raised by abusers and false prophets. By the end of the book, however, she rationalizes it all through psychiatric studies. Perhaps the naive 16 year old she was could be drawn to the cult's romises. Within several years she knew those promises were lies. Worse, she recognized the horror of the sexual abuse of children and STILL she stayed and continued raising money and soliciting new members for her "missionary" work. She did this for 31 years, effectively ruining countless young lives. Justify your actions by blaming an immature brain, lady. I say Shame on you.

[Bobbie Rosnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated the detailed glimpse into the insanity of this cult without having to experience it myself. The author doesn’t flinch when describing the mind controlling methods, abuse, and sexual depravities she endured.

Well crafted art and literature frequently elicits an emotional response from the viewer or reader. That response doesn’t always have to be positive. My feelings of rage towards the leaders of the Children of God grew with each chapter. Sometimes outrage is just what we need to increase our awareness of cults and increase our determination to fight back against them.

[Sharon Hayhurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever wondered why on earth someone would join a cult and how they could be led to believe in and follow some very questionable values, then this book is a great start to gaining some understanding. Mary has managed to succinctly share her story openly and honestly while also explaining to the reader just how these cults manage to exert such a powerful control over their followers. I found this a gripping read, and couldn't put it down, it is shocking, emotional and also informative, totally recommend, 5 stars.

[Sandy McKenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real eye-opener.

In her mid teens, Mary was lured into the cult group, The Children of God, and she remained with them for over thirty years, even though at times, she did question certain aspects of this unorthodox behaviour.
Her memoir is brutally open; it's hard to believe that so many people were attracted to this lifestyle.
I found this memoir quite disturbing at times, but at the same time, I couldn't put it down.

[Heather Kelley-Thompson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book provides many reasons to leave a curly, but offers few reasons to stay. Did she love the people? Feel a sense of community? She never says.

For example, she mentions trusting Kayla, but never gives reasons why she does… and thus, when she is not “heard” by Kayla, she is surprised. The reader is not as we have seen nothing of Kayla that is positive.

I’m not sure what the point of this book was.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Children of God cult memoir written by a woman who found her way out after 31 years and bearing seven children there, this book was heavy on both day to day minuteae of life in the cult and deep regret after her deprogramming. It was a difficult read in content, but for a cult memoir, pretty well written. 3 stars.

[Misty Sack · Rating 3 out of 5]

important but heavy on details n

In this day and age, blind adherence to a flawed but charismatic person is entirely believable. To a Christian, an immediate red flag when extra-biblical revelation (Mo’’s letters) becomes “truth”. I learned much but could have skipped almost all of the day-to-day redundant details.

[Kacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing but exceptional. Explored and explains how people joined the movement in first place, being thoroughly misled. And essentially trafficked and isolated. Definitely recommend for people wanting to learn more about the undue influence and spiritual abuse used within such heinous groups.

[Mark H Duprey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book!

You are a very strong lady! Your story definitely gives hope to people experiencing the same anguish. I wish you a prosperous and successful future!

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am hesitant to read self-published books, but this one impressed me with the quality of writing. This book tells the sad tale of a trusting young girl who wants to do something good for the world, and ends up caught in the grips of a group that becomes so "normal" to her she cannot imagine her life without it. The Children of God became her family and her world. She was unable to see the exploitative and abusive side of the group, nor even was she aware that she was in a cult.

I cannot even imagine what it took to leave such an environment, and then face the internal struggle that must have gone on after she left. Mary gives a good depiction of the mental and emotional turmoil she faced after giving up what had become her raison d'etre.

Mary's conclusions, her explanation of how she overcame her guilt, and her insight into the mental processes behind false beliefs, offer a broader look at how we all can learn from our mistakes, be more aware of our inherent biases and think more critically, and move forward in our lives.

[Cadiem Charlebois · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm commenting only on the writing style and not the content of the author's memoir. This book was very scattered and repetitive. It could have been half as long with the same effect, or it could have been the same length and more detailed. It felt like the important things were just randomly peppered in and random things were dwelt on unnecessarily.