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The Things We Don’t Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths
Chronically ill people don’t always talk about it. Until now.
Spanning different ages, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and diagnoses, forty-two authors from around the world open up in fifty true stories about their chronic illnesses and their search for answers, poor treatment by doctors, strained relationships with loved ones, self-doubt, and more. They share the warmth of support from family and friends, the triumph of learning coping mechanisms, and finding ways to live their dreams. These stories are honest, raw, and real, and if you have chronic illness, you will find comfort and companionship in these pages. For everyone else, if you have ever wanted to know more about your loved one’s experience with chronic illness but didn’t want to ask the wrong questions, this book will have some answers, and more importantly lead you to a new-found understanding.
Spanning different ages, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and diagnoses, forty-two authors from around the world open up in fifty true stories about their chronic illnesses and their search for answers, poor treatment by doctors, strained relationships with loved ones, self-doubt, and more. They share the warmth of support from family and friends, the triumph of learning coping mechanisms, and finding ways to live their dreams. These stories are honest, raw, and real, and if you have chronic illness, you will find comfort and companionship in these pages. For everyone else, if you have ever wanted to know more about your loved one’s experience with chronic illness but didn’t want to ask the wrong questions, this book will have some answers, and more importantly lead you to a new-found understanding.
- GenresNonfictionHealth
256 pages, Paperback
Published June 19, 2020
30 people are currently reading
182 people want to read
About the author
Julie Morgenlender
1 book10 followersJulie is the editor of The Things We Don’t Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, a nonfiction anthology about living with chronic illness.
Chronically ill people don’t always talk about it. Until now.
Spanning different ages, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and diagnoses, forty-two authors from around the world open up in fifty true stories about their chronic illnesses and their search for answers, poor treatment by doctors, strained relationships with loved ones, self-doubt, and more. They share the warmth of support from family and friends, the triumph of learning coping mechanisms, and finding ways to live their dreams. These stories are honest, raw, and real, and if you have chronic illness, you will find comfort and companionship in these pages. For everyone else, if you have ever wanted to know more about your loved one’s experience with chronic illness but didn’t want to ask the wrong questions, this book will have some answers and lead you to a new-found understanding.
Chronically ill people don’t always talk about it. Until now.
Spanning different ages, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and diagnoses, forty-two authors from around the world open up in fifty true stories about their chronic illnesses and their search for answers, poor treatment by doctors, strained relationships with loved ones, self-doubt, and more. They share the warmth of support from family and friends, the triumph of learning coping mechanisms, and finding ways to live their dreams. These stories are honest, raw, and real, and if you have chronic illness, you will find comfort and companionship in these pages. For everyone else, if you have ever wanted to know more about your loved one’s experience with chronic illness but didn’t want to ask the wrong questions, this book will have some answers and lead you to a new-found understanding.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
July 9, 2020
This is the book for you if you have a chronic illness. This is the book for your loved ones. Your medical professions. This is the book for everyone. To get it. Finally, Get It.
Because this is a collection of essays on the chronic illness you get a broader view of the chronic illness experience from a variety of perspectives. In many ways, we have the same story. Guilt, self-blame, denial, fear, acceptance, stigma… but each disease comes with its own nuances and challenges. It reminds me of a quote I know:
“We are all in the same game; just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils”
I cried a bit. I’ll tell you that. I have empathy so large it pours out of me. I cannot read the experiences of others, with completely different conditions, without that empathy spilling forth. The very first essay got to me. Hit me in my feels.
Fact is every story is relatable in some way. We see ourselves in them or we know people with chronic illnesses who have experienced the same thing. These are stories from our lives and our community as a whole. This is our Voice. Pieced together into a fabric. Each saying a little bit about our story. Each revealing a part of our experiences, but in their personal lives. But we know. We recognize it. It may not be our story but we have felt those emotions.
And because these stories reflect a fraction of all our emotions and experiences it is relatable to us and I would hope it is something that makes us Seen by anyone who reads this book. Like really Seen. Because this is just snapshots of our lives. Imagine the decades of it?
Imagine friends disappearing. Imagine valuing the ones you have like they are more precious than gold. That is chronic illness. Have you ever thought your sex life would diminish or change or never be the same? (I have).
The guilt. Sadness. Blame. And even empowerment. All stem from our struggle to survive with chronic illness. Have you ever thought about not being about to have kids? (I have). What if I can’t work? (I know that one very well)
All these explorations you will find in these deeply personal essays on a variety of chronic illnesses. Snapshots into people’s lives on various topics. I empathize with them because I can relate to so many of their stories in so many ways. I am these stories at their core essence in my personal experiences. I am this voice. I am these emotions.
Because this is a collection of essays on the chronic illness you get a broader view of the chronic illness experience from a variety of perspectives. In many ways, we have the same story. Guilt, self-blame, denial, fear, acceptance, stigma… but each disease comes with its own nuances and challenges. It reminds me of a quote I know:
“We are all in the same game; just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils”
I cried a bit. I’ll tell you that. I have empathy so large it pours out of me. I cannot read the experiences of others, with completely different conditions, without that empathy spilling forth. The very first essay got to me. Hit me in my feels.
Fact is every story is relatable in some way. We see ourselves in them or we know people with chronic illnesses who have experienced the same thing. These are stories from our lives and our community as a whole. This is our Voice. Pieced together into a fabric. Each saying a little bit about our story. Each revealing a part of our experiences, but in their personal lives. But we know. We recognize it. It may not be our story but we have felt those emotions.
And because these stories reflect a fraction of all our emotions and experiences it is relatable to us and I would hope it is something that makes us Seen by anyone who reads this book. Like really Seen. Because this is just snapshots of our lives. Imagine the decades of it?
Imagine friends disappearing. Imagine valuing the ones you have like they are more precious than gold. That is chronic illness. Have you ever thought your sex life would diminish or change or never be the same? (I have).
The guilt. Sadness. Blame. And even empowerment. All stem from our struggle to survive with chronic illness. Have you ever thought about not being about to have kids? (I have). What if I can’t work? (I know that one very well)
All these explorations you will find in these deeply personal essays on a variety of chronic illnesses. Snapshots into people’s lives on various topics. I empathize with them because I can relate to so many of their stories in so many ways. I am these stories at their core essence in my personal experiences. I am this voice. I am these emotions.
August 28, 2025
While this book made me feel incredibly seen and I loved hearing about others experiences, it was a lot to get through in one read without getting overwhelmingly sad
July 7, 2020
This is a book which gives unheard individuals with chronic illnesses the chance to speak up for themselves. Julie Morgenlender in her anthology The Things We Don't Say
An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths bravely opens up a rarely visited literary frontier written by different people all over the English speaking world who live there every day. This is a very personal book, complete with headshots, which make one feel as if one were meeting these varied individuals and hearing their life stories firsthand including the editor's own story. The truths are complex, painful, at times terrifying but most of all they are imbued with hope.
The book is divided into sections to show many aspects of these truths which include medical, emotional and relational. The authors write about their struggles with doctors, family and friends to be believed and to get good care. They write of limitations, unending pain and discouragement. They also acknowledge their own courage, triumphs and determination to live their lives as fully as they can.
I wanted to root for each one of them and tell them that they are heroes and sheroes. Some of these chronic illnesses may appear invisible but as one author, Jessica Ward, writes “Hope is visible”. This book educates, sensitizes, supports and connects us all. It's for people silently suffering with these illnesses and for those who know and love people who have them. It's also a reminder to all of us not to judge our neighbors.
An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths bravely opens up a rarely visited literary frontier written by different people all over the English speaking world who live there every day. This is a very personal book, complete with headshots, which make one feel as if one were meeting these varied individuals and hearing their life stories firsthand including the editor's own story. The truths are complex, painful, at times terrifying but most of all they are imbued with hope.
The book is divided into sections to show many aspects of these truths which include medical, emotional and relational. The authors write about their struggles with doctors, family and friends to be believed and to get good care. They write of limitations, unending pain and discouragement. They also acknowledge their own courage, triumphs and determination to live their lives as fully as they can.
I wanted to root for each one of them and tell them that they are heroes and sheroes. Some of these chronic illnesses may appear invisible but as one author, Jessica Ward, writes “Hope is visible”. This book educates, sensitizes, supports and connects us all. It's for people silently suffering with these illnesses and for those who know and love people who have them. It's also a reminder to all of us not to judge our neighbors.
July 26, 2020
Disclaimer - A personal essay I wrote is included in this anthology.
Wow! What a collection of essays. Raw, honest, real, emotional. I was truly surprised to find myself identifying with so many of the authors. Our chronic illnesses may differ, but the emotions, the fear, the frustration - we all have that in common.
Wow! What a collection of essays. Raw, honest, real, emotional. I was truly surprised to find myself identifying with so many of the authors. Our chronic illnesses may differ, but the emotions, the fear, the frustration - we all have that in common.
August 14, 2020
If you have chronic illness, reading this anthology will make you feel seen and no longer alone. If you have a friend or loved one with chronic illness, reading these essays will help you clearly understand what they are going thru and how hard it is, especially if they don’t talk to you much about their conditions. If you are a health care provider, reading these essays will help you gain empathy for your patients and perhaps teach you some things as well.
This anthology has 50 essays by 42 authors from all over the world, including two by the editor. The authors have a variety of illnesses. All chronic illnesses are not the same. Even people with the exact same diagnosis might have wildly different symptoms from each other, and respond differently to the same treatment. This book ably shows this fact.
The book is divided into seven parts, with as few as five essays and as many as nine per section. Some essays are as short as two pages. Because most of them are so short, it is quite easy to read them, even on high brain fog days.
At the end of each essay, you’ll find a photo and short bio of the author. The editor includes the location of the author under their name with the essay title, which helps orient you, as every country has slightly different protocols for treating illnesses.
The book also includes an index to make it easy to find an illness or condition, and the book’s website includes an index and a comprehensive glossary with definitions of many of the diagnoses, symptoms, treatments, and more.
Overall, the anthology is easy to read, short and to the point, and unashamed about the truths it reveals about chronic illness. The essays share the whole gamut of negative emotions you feel when you have a chronic illness: grief, shame, guilt, sadness, etc. Many of the essays are so passionately written, you can almost see the sweat from the writer on the words.
Standout essays include “My Journey for Answers: Because No One Will Care More about My Health Than Me” and “This Is Hard” by the editor; “Things Every Newly Diagnosed Patient Needs to Know” by Dylan Gomez; “I Didn’t Cry on My Birthday This Year” by Tara A.; Keidra Chaney’s essay “I Am Not My Cornea”; and “An Echo Unheard” by Deepti Dilip Kumar.
I particularly loved the essay “Pain” by Heron Greenesmith.
Note: I received a digital ARC of this book from the anthology. This has no bearing on my review. I never guarantee a positive rating, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
For my full review of this book, visit my blog at dsavannah dot com slash blog.
This anthology has 50 essays by 42 authors from all over the world, including two by the editor. The authors have a variety of illnesses. All chronic illnesses are not the same. Even people with the exact same diagnosis might have wildly different symptoms from each other, and respond differently to the same treatment. This book ably shows this fact.
The book is divided into seven parts, with as few as five essays and as many as nine per section. Some essays are as short as two pages. Because most of them are so short, it is quite easy to read them, even on high brain fog days.
At the end of each essay, you’ll find a photo and short bio of the author. The editor includes the location of the author under their name with the essay title, which helps orient you, as every country has slightly different protocols for treating illnesses.
The book also includes an index to make it easy to find an illness or condition, and the book’s website includes an index and a comprehensive glossary with definitions of many of the diagnoses, symptoms, treatments, and more.
Overall, the anthology is easy to read, short and to the point, and unashamed about the truths it reveals about chronic illness. The essays share the whole gamut of negative emotions you feel when you have a chronic illness: grief, shame, guilt, sadness, etc. Many of the essays are so passionately written, you can almost see the sweat from the writer on the words.
Standout essays include “My Journey for Answers: Because No One Will Care More about My Health Than Me” and “This Is Hard” by the editor; “Things Every Newly Diagnosed Patient Needs to Know” by Dylan Gomez; “I Didn’t Cry on My Birthday This Year” by Tara A.; Keidra Chaney’s essay “I Am Not My Cornea”; and “An Echo Unheard” by Deepti Dilip Kumar.
I particularly loved the essay “Pain” by Heron Greenesmith.
Note: I received a digital ARC of this book from the anthology. This has no bearing on my review. I never guarantee a positive rating, and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
For my full review of this book, visit my blog at dsavannah dot com slash blog.
December 18, 2020
My review is here.
August 17, 2020
I just finished Julie Morgenlender’s book, “The Things We Don’t Say”. Truly a tale of many heroes. The title and cover are perfect! Even though many of the stories are hard, they awaken your senses—your sense of compassion, empathy, understanding, and gratitude.
Thank you for your monumental efforts to get this book out into the world.
Thank you for your monumental efforts to get this book out into the world.
September 26, 2020
Full discourse: I'm in this book!
But honestly, the collection is such a spectacular, honest, diverse look at not only how chronic illness shapes our lives, but also how *thoroughly* it shapes our lives.
Please read this book.
But honestly, the collection is such a spectacular, honest, diverse look at not only how chronic illness shapes our lives, but also how *thoroughly* it shapes our lives.
Please read this book.
June 2, 2021
Wonderful
A wonderful insight into the life of a chronically ill person. I’m so glad I got a chance to be a part of the making of this anthology.
A wonderful insight into the life of a chronically ill person. I’m so glad I got a chance to be a part of the making of this anthology.
August 2, 2020
This was a very good read. It covers a variety of illnesses but many of them are chronic illnesses dealing with pain.
Truth—I wrote an essay in this book but mine does not deal with physical pain
Truth—I wrote an essay in this book but mine does not deal with physical pain
September 2, 2020
Highly recommend even for those with chronic pain. Everyone should read this. Great insights.
September 20, 2020
No comments.
March 17, 2025
Hurt "Johnny Cash"
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
May 14, 2021
Good read. Having been dealing with a chronic invisible illness for the past two years it was nice to read how I’m not alone. How doctors are so unwilling to help, do not care or assume you are faking it. It is lonely feeling when people wonder why you are not fixed yet. And you feel like a failure when nothing works and you do not have an answer to give people. I have had “friends” make fun of me, exclude me and stop talking to me because life decided to show me it’s cruel side. The list goes on on feelings and social side effects having an illness costs you. The pieces of yourself that go missing. The doctors who only cause you more pain. The insurance that prays you die before you cost them another penny. Glad I am not alone.
July 11, 2021
I found each author to have a unique and engaging voice. I appreciate folks' honesty and openness. As someone who doesn't suffer from chronic illness but has friends who do, I learned a lot about how different people understand their condition(s) and how they operate in a world that doesn't take these things into account (and can even be harsh and judgmental). As a female-presenting person, and as someone who is late-diagnosis neurodivergent, I can relate to doctors not wanting to believe me, rushing to use a not-entirely-apt diagnosis, or simply not having answers - so this book made me feel less alone in that area.
August 12, 2022
First, as a contributing author, my review is most likely entirely biased.
Saying that what I love about this is that so many voices are in one piece, and voices that are usually silenced within the publishing industry.
In a world where our stories are written by able-bodied people with little understanding of us, this is a breath of fresh air on how it actually is to be disabled and chronically ill. So many of the stories in here are gripping, upsetting, uplifting or sometimes in the best all three.
Please take the time to read it if you can.
Saying that what I love about this is that so many voices are in one piece, and voices that are usually silenced within the publishing industry.
In a world where our stories are written by able-bodied people with little understanding of us, this is a breath of fresh air on how it actually is to be disabled and chronically ill. So many of the stories in here are gripping, upsetting, uplifting or sometimes in the best all three.
Please take the time to read it if you can.
August 16, 2023
One of the best chronic illness anthologies out there! I adored this collection of stories ~ It has a wide range of diverse voices with different backgrounds and varying illnesses. It’s also apparent that the author, who lives with chronic illness herself, put a lot of time, work, and love into this book 💙 Definitely something I would recommend for anyone with a chronic illness or anyone with a loved one who lives with chronic illness. I’m so excited for the audiobook to come out so I can listen to the book all over again! 📘
September 9, 2022
This book was a gift to me--which is a very cool way to feel seen when so much of my life related to chronic illness is unseen. I appreciated the variety of illness and the diversity of people telling stories about their illnesses represented in this book. I think it will be a useful volume for my clinical practice. My only issue is that I wish the writing had been edited a bit more--some of the writers were not very seasoned and there were redundancies that got irritating.
June 30, 2023
As a person with chronic illness, it was definitely validating and reassuring to read words written by others that I can relate to. A lot of it, however, referred to the American health-care system, and because I live in the UK it was difficult to fully understand some of the points that were made.
July 12, 2021
For anyone suffering with chronic pain, a must read.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews