Raising Multiracial Children: Tools for Nurturing Identity in a Racialized World

by Farzana Nayani, DR. Paul Spickard (Foreword), Dr. Velina Hasu Houston (Afterword)

The essential guide to parenting multiracial and multiethnic children of all ages and learning to support and celebrate their multiracial identities

In a world where people are more likely to proclaim color-blindness than talk openly about race, how can we truly value, support, and celebrate our kids' identities? How can we assess our own sense of Racial Dialogue Readiness and develop a deeper understanding of the issues facing multiracial children today?

Raising Multiracial Children gives caregivers the tools for exploring race with their children, offering practical guidance on how to initiate conversations; consciously foster racial identity development; discuss issues like microaggressions, intersectionality, and privilege; and intentionally cultivate a sense of belonging. It provides an overview of key issues and current topics relevant to raising multiracial children and offers strategies and developmentally appropriate milestones from infancy through adulthood. The book ends with resources and references for further learning and exploration.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Social Justice

288 pages, Paperback

First published March 20, 2020

About the author

Farzana Nayani is a recognized Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion specialist, business and strategy coach, and international keynote speaker. She has worked with Fortune 500 corporations, public agencies, higher education institutions, school districts, and non-profit organizations as a consultant and trainer on diversity and inclusion, intercultural communication, supplier diversity, and employee engagement.
Farzana’s advisory work with Employee Resource Groups (ERGs), small business advocacy, and entrepreneurship, and racial equity & inclusion has taken her to engagements across North America, from the White House to Silicon Valley. Farzana’s expertise has been featured in media outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, DiversityInc, Parents magazine, NPR, the Washington Post, Marie Claire, and the LA Times. Her book Raising Multiracial Children: Tools for Nurturing Identity in a Racialized World with North Atlantic Books was released in 2020 and distributed by Penguin Random House. Her upcoming book The Power of Employee Resource Groups: How People Create Authentic Change will be released in Spring 2022. For more information visit: www.farzananayani.com

Reviews

[Shana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oof, this is a difficult one for me to review. For me, it was a 3.5 for personal reasons. I do believe that all the 5 star ratings are merited, and so I rounded up to 4 so as not to detract from the importance of this book. This is an invaluable resource for monoracial parents of multiracial kids, or even for multiracial parents who have yet to delve into the necessary self-work. Farzana Nayani lays out all the essential definitions, uses quotes and examples to highlight her points, and makes a convincing argument for how adults can be supportive and nurturing of multiracial children in a world that often ignores them or diminishes their experiences. It serves as a great primer for those getting started in the work. And that is precisely why it didn't quite fit my needs. As a multiracial parent myself, and someone deeply interested in the topics covered in this book, I didn't really learn anything new. A lot of it was very matter-of-fact for me because it described much of my lived experience and acquired knowledge. The writing is accessible without being patronizing, and I am deeply appreciative of the work Nayani put into creating this book; I'm just not sure that I was the intended audience. That's okay, though! We all have to start somewhere and I would certainly recommend this book to those who aren't already well-versed in the topic.

[Catie Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s so cool that a book like this exists in the world! I felt so seen reading the passages about the experiences of multiracial children and I feel like the book does a good job centering the voices of multiracial children. I really liked that this book looked beyond just Black and white mixed heritage, which is the most commonly addressed multiracial combination in literature, and instead focused on the general experience of being mixed. I was also really impressed that the book included advice for multiracial parents raising multiracial children, which is an area of family communication that I think is woefully underrepresented. I would definitely recommend this book to any parent, friend, mentor, or teacher of multiracial children.

[Ted · Rating 2 out of 5]

"A Jewish parent shares their intentionality around building community: 'My children are the other everywhere they go--with my white, Jewish family and with my husband's Kenyan family. We have sought out a community of other families who look just like ours so our kids can have a community of kids like them'."

Imagine being so narcissistic that you create children who will suffer needlessly outside artificially created communities that are few and far between. This cosmopolitan psyche needs to be registered in the DSM for the sake of humanity.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is of those books for everyone to get their hands on! Most of us have someone in our life, whether we know it or not (or maybe it's ourselves), somewhere on the path of exploring their multiracial identity. With this book, Farzana Nayani puts her seminar right in your hands. Her tone is conversational, warm, honest, encouraging, cautioning, and understanding. She shares not only the stats and research, but also her personal story and those of other people she has met who are multiracial and multiethnic. There are also multiple action steps for parents, caregivers, and teachers that could apply to just about anyone. This book is, and will continue to be, invaluable as multiracial people continue to share their identities and journeys in societies (especially in the U.S.) where white supremacy's grip remains.

As a biracial person who didn't spend much time thinking about my own dual identity—White (German, Irish, other unknown European) and Hispanic/Latina (Colombian)—until college, I found in this book some of the support I may have needed growing up, considering the internal work I find myself doing now in my late 20s. As a soon to-be-mom of my first multiracial kid (Black [African], Asian [Filipino], Hispanic, and White), this book will likely never leave my nightstand.

[TammyJo Eckhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a huge fan of education from preschool through university and beyond. This book is far more a guide for teachers and educational institutions than I was expecting from the description. I thought it would more focused on family and community outside of formal education. The book does begin with the experiences of multiracial children and their families but also spends two chapters on education with most of the appendices and resources focused on education issues.

The text is written in an accepting fashion, meeting people wherever they may be in terms of their biases. Frankly, I am not this understanding of prejudice and discrimination but I appreciated Nayani's ability to write with compassion, empathy, and yet clear explanations as to why being multiracial can create such discord in the self as multiracial individuals face a starkly racist and racialized world. For anyone afraid that she is targeting all whites, I'm as white as you can get, I never felt targeted. I appreciated her candor and sharing how racism and racist biases are promoted and maintained in all cultures.

I strongly recommend this book for educators and parents. I hope the final version of the book (I got an ARC to review) includes all of the charts and appendices so that is it easier to use the information that often feels overwhelming in a few huge paragraphs of information. This is especially the case for the chapter about higher education.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Farzana Nayani’s book, Raising Multiracial Children: Tools for Nurturing Identity in a Racialized World, is the most comprehensive book on multiraciality and community that I’ve read. Farzana’s expertise on the subject is evident in every chapter. The book takes you from the early years through college and beyond. It references history, research, statistics and stories. There are tons of resources that are very helpful for guiding you in the right direction. I personally really appreciate all of the stories and experiences that are shared throughout the book. It gives it an intimate and personalized feel that sets it apart from other books that I’ve encountered on the subject of multiraciality.

I can sense that this book was a labor of love for the author and I can say that I deeply appreciate having this book not only as a reference for my work as a coach for parents of mixed children, but a reminder of the complexity and richness of the multiracial experience. In the short time that I’ve had this book it’s become an incredibly valuable resource that I utilize not only in my coaching, but in my own parenting endeavors as well... one that I’m sure to refer to, time and time again.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aside from being dreadfully dry and boring, Raising Multiracial Children didn’t seem to have a clear focus or purpose (definitely not what the title indicates). The author rambles on and on and is very disorganized. Sometimes she’s talking to parents, sometimes to teachers, switching sometimes in the middle of a single paragraph. There are some excellent statistics and a few gems for raising children from multiple races or ethnicities, but for the most part it’s just not a very well-written book. Everything useful in it could have been written in a handful of blog posts. This is a book to skip.

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much of the anti-racism work focuses on monoracial identity and neglects the nuanced experiences of multi-racial individuals. Farzana Nayani captures these complex experiences in a compassionate and inclusive manner. Her resources and lesson plans are also very helpful. For multiracial people of color, dismantling anti-Blackness, implicit bias, and internalized racism also requires the additional step of healing, accepting, and ultimately embracing all facets of themselves— while recognizing that they have a right to a fluid identity that is determined only by themselves.

[MrsAgnello · Rating 4 out of 5]

As another commenter said, this book would make an amazing introduction to navigating ways to support multiracial children, it’s just not the right book for me now. I wish I’d had this text in my college teacher training courses! I personally didn’t learn anything new in this book, but I would 100% gift this to a new teacher or parent. It’s a fantastic resource for those newer to the work of loving on children from multiracial backgrounds.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted this to be a bit more practical but it was very academic in nature, and mostly useful for someone who has never studied race or worked on racism in an academic or professional context before. Pretty 101 but important if you are starting from scratch. A few good ideas here and there but more like a textbook than I’d hoped.

[Veronica R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and incredibly helpful for anyone seeking to improve the lived experience of multiracial children

[Noelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting a book of advice, but this was more a sociology book

[Jen Beauchesne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rate 3-4. This is an important book/ topic, and I appreciate all of the author’s work, but it read like a textbook.

[Emily Bidlack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Wonderful perspective for the learning reader. Easy to digest & implement into anyone’s life. Would easily recommend

[Christina Dedios · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising Multiracial Children by Farzana Nayani is an invaluable resource for parents, caretakers, educators, and anyone else interested in understanding multiracial/mixed race identity.
 
In this book, Nayani provides practical tips on how to start difficult but necessary conversations with children. It includes history, stories, research and raises important questions and issues that multiracial people experience from early years through college and beyond. The book also contains plenty of recommendations for outside resources, including other books, festivals, toys, lesson plans, podcasts, and much more. Reading this book will equip you with the tools to help children feel seen, supported, and more confident.  
 
While I am not a parent or educator, I am multiracial and have benefitted immensely from reading this book. I experienced the book to be very healing for me as I reflected on my own journey of identity. The multiracial community is expanding, and I am thankful that Nayani has created this starting point for parents, educators, and anyone else helping children navigate the challenges of cultivating their racial/ethnic identities. I wish this book had been around for my parents and teachers when I was growing up, but I’m glad it’s here now. I am incredibly grateful to Farzana Nayani for creating this book. Thank you.

[RyB · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the read, not a page turner

On one hand I'll certainly return to this book, but on the other hand, I wasn't captivated. Perhaps it was too thick for my early entry into mixed-race learning. Or, maybe, as enter into a mixed-race marriage, having yet to father any children, I suppose a more poignant read for me might be about multi-cultural marriages. I'm glad this book has been added to my toolkit, and it did leave me with many helpful perspectives and viewpoints to grow from. Hard to give this book which leans academic five stars because it's just not a page-turner for me, but worth a read for those interested in the subject matter - or just want to expand their mind beyond anything else they're generally familiar or comfortable with.