Dear Black Girl: Letters From Your Sisters on Stepping Into Your Power

by Tamara Winfrey Harris

From the bestselling author of The Sisters Are Alright comes a book of personal letters written by black women to black girls to nurture healthy womanhood and sisterhood, covering topics like identity, self-love, parents, violence, grief, mental health, sex, and sexuality.

"Dear #DopeBlackGirl,

You don't know me, but I know you. I know you because I am you! We are magic, light, and stars in the universe." So begins a letter that Tamara Winfrey-Harris received as part of her Letters to Black Girls project, where she asked black women to write honest, open, and inspiring letters of support to young black girls aged thirteen to twenty-one. Her call went viral, resulting in a hundred letters from black women around the globe. In Dear Black Girl, Winfrey-Harris organizes a selection of these letters for young black girls, modeling how they can nurture their future generations as black women. Each chapter ends with a prompt encouraging girls to write a letter to themselves, teaching the art of self-love and self-nurturing.

Winfrey-Harris's The Sisters Are Alright explores how black women must often fight and stumble their way into alrightness after adulthood. Dear Black Girl continues this work by delivering personal messages of alrightness for black women-to-be--and for the girl who still lives inside every black woman, who still needs reminding sometimes that she is alright.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Audiobook, Mental Health, Self Help, Black Literature, Womens

192 pages, Paperback

First published March 9, 2021

About the author

Tamara Winfrey-Harris is a writer who specializes in the ever-evolving space where current events, politics and pop culture intersect with race and gender.

She says, “I want to be a storyteller of the Black female experience and a truth-teller to all those folks who got us twisted—tangled up in racist and sexist lies. I want my writing to advocate for my sisters. We are better than alright. We are amazing.”

Well-versed on a range of topics, including Beyoncé’s feminism; Rachel Dolezal’s white privilege; and the Black church and female sexuality, Tamara has been published in media outlets, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, Cosmopolitan, New York Magazine and The Los Angeles Times. And she has been called to share her analysis on media outlets, including NPR’s “Weekend Edition” and Janet Mock’s “So Popular” on MSNBC.com, and on university campuses nationwide.

Tamara’s first book, The Sisters Are Alright: Changing the Broken Narrative of Black Women in America was published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers in 2015 and called “a myth-busting portrait of Black women in America” by The Washington Post. The book won the Phillis Wheatley Award, IndieFab Award, Independent Publishers Living Now Award and the IPPY Award. Her sophomore effort Dear Black Girl: Letters From Your Sisters On Stepping Into Your Power is forthcoming in March 2021 from Berrett-Koehler Publishers, and available for pre-order.

Her essays also appear in The Lemonade Reader: Beyonce, Black Feminism and Spirituality (Routledge, 2019); The Burden: African Americans and the Enduring Impact of Slavery (Wayne State University Press, 2018) and The Arlington Reader: Fourth Edition (Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2013).

Reviews

[Never Without a Book]

I boohoo cried to so many stories here. Talk about affirming and resonating. I highly recommend this collection.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIGHLY RECOMMEND. This book was perfect. The letters were healing, affirming, eye-opening, and relatable. I absolutely needed it earlier this month and I can see myself returning to it again and again.

I love that Black women take it up on themselves to restore and to give to the younger sisters, to acknowledge where they have been wrong, to recognize truths that sometimes are hard-won, and to move towards self-actualization and understanding for our community of sisters. Our sisters who are usually not upheld by the mainstream, who are usually pushing to create space for themselves and each other and won't let up on those who have stolen from them, ignored them, misused, and mistreated them.

This was a love letter to Black Girls and I love that this space was created. I felt the love and understanding on every single page. It hit me deeply. Thank you Tamara Winfrey Harris!

[Nursebookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Black Girl is an empowering, and a must read for not only black girls, but for someone who is a mixed race, someone who feels different or excluded, for anyone who needs to understand black girls, and really basically a must read for all women and girls.

I was so touched reading this as it resonated a lot on the lived experience of a black girl, and someone that just needed to hear from a friend that it’s okay, you are not strange or weird or bad or ugly. You are you and being different is amazing and it’s what makes each one unique and beautiful.

I enjoyed that in each chapter, there is a section that provides a must know where people, terminologies or events are defined to better understand the situation a black girl may encounter.

Overall, the book is beautiful and heartfelt - a message delivered by many people who cares about issues such as identity, mental health, sexuality, self love and self care, friendships, violence and body positivity for that special black girl.

I highly recommend this powerful read.

[Patricia Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. This book is so on target for its' audience... and for their mama's too.I wish this book would hav been around 50 years ago, or even 30 years ago. I first refrained from highlighting because I wanted my grandnieces to be able to sort through what SHE needed from Dear Black Girl. But then .. the letters addressed to Dear Hope, Wonderful Woman, Magical Black Girl...the topics of embracing yourself fully were carried through in the salutations of the letters. The messages of valuing color, "colorblindness is not an attribute", safety and love from your community, expectations of others and living to your true self, friendships, racism, classism, perfectionism, sexuality, sexual assault, mental health and therapy, OH MY> I resorted to `using a STAR to designate what was marvelously over the top great (p.75, p. 159)..At the 'end' of each chapter is an exercise for the reader to do. I hesitate calling it the end of the chapter... There has to be a word that says "now you've read this from us. What steps, thoughts, ways can you use to Begin changes for yourself? " I'm in awe how such a small book from so many beautiful women has said so much and so powerfully!!!

[Myni ~ myniturnspages · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for Black girls and Black women. I listened to this and I'm so glad I did. Hearing Black women be so affirming, encouraging, and supportive is special. It was nice to hear some of them share their own stories and I learned that every woman who wrote a letter came from a different generation. It was powerful to hear many of these ladies express how they identify, some of them had no support and some had tons of support. We can all gain love and light from these letters. I highly recommend and I intend to purchase this book.

[Ashley G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I am so glad that Tamara Winfrey Harris has curated this exact group of letters. This was invoking wise Auntie and cool mom. There were so many topics covered and each with care and wisdom. I would recommend this to anyone, will probably gift it to many people and will certainly be encouraging my own daughters to read this.
I really loved this book and will likely read it again and again.

[Delbels · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is healing. I cried the whole way through.

[Erin Cataldi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inspiring young adult nonfiction novel filled with letters and advice for young Black women. The letters are written from Black women all across the country and address a variety of topics; body positivity, sex, relationships, family, mental health and more. Each letter is meant to inspire and empower. As well as letters, there are writing prompts and educational resources. This book contains love letters to a new generation of women. A perfect gift for any young Black girl.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Black Girl was a joy to experience. The letters penned by many authors were honest and inspiring. The “Know This” sections were a great addition, especially the ones that included resources and phone numbers. My favorite chapter, of course, was the one on mental health. Although this was a book written for Black Girls, I think it’s an important read for all.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing! I really appreciate that it is directed to all types of Black girls with all types of experiences in their world. Their is a letter included with a Transgender lens, a letter from the viewpoint of a teen mom and those who are saddled with challenging home environments. No one is left out. It is a revolutionary work.

The wisdom shared obviously comes from a place of deep reflection and a caring that future generations emerge victorious despite hard challenges that life will present. The author is clearly someone who recognizes that older Black women love to leave an impact on younger Black girls, and this book reflects that. It provides and supports the planting of beautiful seeds.

[Carmen Slaughter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impeccably curated by Tamara Winfrey- Harris this collection of epistolary inspiration is essential reading for Black girls and women, the people who love them, need to understand them, or walk through this world alongside them. I love this book so hard!

[ReadnliftwithShar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do not let anyone steal or dim your light.

I also hope you find out that it’s ok to not feel strong all the time; that it’s healthy and normal to sometimes feel vulnerable, and to need comfort and protection. And that you deserve to have it.

May you love yourself exactly as you are. And have the courage to always try.

You are the prize in every room.

There are tables with a seat waiting for you

Let us be the generation to heal

Those are just a few of my favorite quotes from this book. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the letters and all the gems dropped throughout the book.

[AMAO · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Black Girl: Letters from Your Sisters on Stepping Into Your Power
by Tamara Winfrey Harris
Published March 9th 2021

<3 I DEDICATE THIS TO ALL BLACK WOMEN, BLACK YOUNG GIRLS AND BLACK LITTLE PRINCESSES. I SEE YOU! THIS RIGHTS OF PASSAGE IN THE FORMS OF LETTERS, WAS SO VERY WELL DONE & A MUST READ! #POTENTIALTRAUMATRIGGERS

"Dear Black Girl is the empowering, affirming love letter our girls need in order to thrive in a world that does not always protect, nurture, or celebrate us. This collection of Black women's voices... is a must-read, not only for Black girls, but for everyone who cares about Black girls, and for Black women whose inner-Black girl could use some healing." –Tarana Burke, Founder of the 'Me Too' Movement
"Dear Dope Black Girl, You don't know me, but I know you. I know you because I am you! We are magic, light, and stars in the universe." So begins a letter that Tamara Winfrey Harris received as part of her Letters to Black Girls project, where she asked black women to write honest, open, and inspiring letters of support to young black girls aged thirteen to twenty-one. Her call went viral, resulting in a hundred personal letters from black women around the globe that cover topics such as identity, self-love, parents, violence, grief, mental health, sex, and sexuality.

In Dear Black Girl, Winfrey Harris organizes a selection of these letters, providing "a balm for the wounds of anti-black-girlness" and modeling how black women can nurture future generations. Each chapter ends with a prompt encouraging girls to write a letter to themselves, teaching the art of self-love and self-nurturing.

Winfrey Harris's The Sisters Are Alright explores how black women must often fight and stumble their way into alrightness after adulthood. Dear Black Girl continues this work by delivering pro-black, feminist, LGBTQ+ positive, and body positive messages for black women-to-be—and for the girl who still lives inside every black woman who still needs reminding sometimes that she is alright.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I believe this is a must book for every Black girl as she is growing into womanhood. The letters are uplifting, honest and true to the core. I think every guidance counselor, social worker and those who work with young women should have this book to hand out. Young ladies read this book over and over highlight the phases that stand out to you. Each time you read it use a different color of high lighter to see where you are in your life. I didn't agree with everything but then again I have not been in most of their shoes.

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked reading the letters Black women wrote for Black girls to both inspire and comfort them. I was drawn to this book because I’m a middle school teacher for students who are mostly Black. While some of the topics covered were ones that I was familiar with, there were some that weren’t on my radar as much. I think the chapter on relationships and sex would be especially helpful for teens to read because it’s issues that are often shied away from. Unfortunately, I feel like more adults rather than teens are likely to read the book based on the feel of the read.

[gladness · Rating 5 out of 5]

you ever read something that feels like a warm hug? like the kind of hug that makes your shoulders drop, makes you breathe a little easier, makes you realize just how much you’ve been holding in? yeah. that’s this book.

tropes to expect:
• sisterhood & community
• self-love & self-acceptance
• letters as a storytelling device
• healing & affirmation
• intergenerational wisdom
• reclaiming identity & power

this isn’t just a book—it’s a love letter, a healing space, a mirror for black girls who don’t always get to see themselves reflected in love, softness, and understanding. a hundred letters from black women across the world, speaking directly to young black girls, reminding them: you are not alone.

“dear #dopeblackgirl, you don’t know me, but i know you. i know you because i am you. we are magic, light, and stars in the universe.”

if that line alone doesn’t hit you in the chest, i don’t know what will.

as a black girl myself, i ugly cried my way through so many of these letters. full-on, had-to-close-the-book-for-a-minute type of crying. because when do we ever get to hear this? when do we get told, without conditions or expectations, that we are loved, that we are worthy, that we don’t have to shrink or bend to be accepted? that our joy, our rage, our softness, our strength—all of it—is valid?

“you don’t have to be strong all the time. you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

the honesty in these letters? raw. the love? tangible. the impact? deep. this book doesn’t sugarcoat anything—it talks about identity, self-worth, pain, joy, sex, mental health, friendships, and the struggles that come with simply existing as a black girl in a world that doesn’t always make space for us. and yet, every letter is a reminder that we deserve to take up space anyway.

i also loved how each chapter ends with a prompt, encouraging black girls to write letters to themselves. because self-love isn’t just about hearing it from others—it’s about saying it to yourself, too.

if there is a black girl in your life, buy this for her. and if you are a black girl, read this for yourself. it’s the kind of book you come back to, again and again, whenever you need to be reminded of the truth: you are enough.

[Latiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there is a young Black girl in your life, buy this book for her. In addition to buying this book, make sure that the Black girls and women in your life know that they are loved, appreciated and don't need to bend to exist in this world. Tamara Winfrey Harris was featured on a podcast that I enjoy. I made a mental note to buy Dear Black Girl, for my daughter. My daughter is away at college and didn't open the book while on visiting, so I decided to read a few of the letters. I read the entire book in one sitting.

Dear Black Girl is the type of guide that I wish I had many years ago. I am grateful that older Black women are acknowledging that they aren't always kind and generous with younger Black women. I see this in the workplace and it is disheartening. There are a range of letters about trauma, friendship, respect, relationships, motherhood, play and my favorite topics: fitness and exercise! It feels like you can't discuss eating healthy and moving your body without someone calling you fatphobic. Luckily, two of the letters encourage girls to build their health from the inside out.

I don't know this author, but I want to find a method to support her work. I am considering buying more copies of this book to give to young Black girls with hope that one of the letters might be the thread that is needed to continue moving forward in life.

[Stina Marcell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice change of pace from the books I usually read. I enjoyed listening to each letter and I appreciate that biracial and trans women were included. Most of the letters were relatable and have the tone of your favorite Auntie that loves and accepts you, all of you, and loves your sheer existence.

Social Media has skewed how some of us view older black women that can be harsh, unkind, stuck in their ways, unsympathetic etc but this book changes that narrative. These women purposely wrote letters to black girls celebrating us, our features, our skin, our hair, our bodies. They talked about loving and accepting ourselves, giving ourselves grace, reminding us that's it's ok to ask for help, to go where you're celebrated; they also dispelled stereotypes, and reiterated that they care about us, they love us, and they are rooting for us. Powerful book that every black girl and woman should read.

[Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book with my whole heart to the deepest part of the earth and back. I needed this before, now and tomorrow.

I felt seen, appreciated, looked after and uplifted!

The Black women/ Queer folk who helped write this are now my heroes and I wish every one of them the best.

Every Black women/Black queer folk should read this.

- Also has perspectives from Biracial Black women and Black women who were adopted by white people and their experiences!

CW: assault, abuse. teenage pregnancy, abortion, neglect, ptsd, underage drinking, homophobia/transphobia, over-sexualization, depression, anxiety, generational trauma

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Black Girl! Awesome book for all women of color to read!

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book through white eyes. I cried, my eye were opened. EVERY girl should read this book

[Salima Etoka · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had access to this book growing up. It was validating and affirming as a Black woman still making sense of her past and how to best navigate this world. I appreciated the “Letter to Your Black Girl Self” exercises. It was an opportunity to reflect on the letters and apply the lessons learned to my life.

[Kim Bakos · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll start out upfront by telling everyone I am white, so there were some things in this book that I couldn't directly relate to. I will say by reading it I have a better understanding of the thoughts, feelings and experiences of my Black friends and for that reason alone I'm glad to have read this book.

I have a number of friends who are in interracial marriages and raising biracial daughters and wanted to pass this book along to them. However, I have some hesitations about that as they are friends from church. Some of the language used in this book, as well as the advice that goes against Christian values, makes me second guess that.

[Indiana Authors Awards]

This past summer I had the pleasure of working with the Asante Art Institute’s program Zora’s Daughters. This program teaches young Black students about Black women writers. It was a joy to write and grow with them for the six weeks we were together. When preparing for the big ceremony, every student was asked what they wanted to share during the celebration; it could be something they or someone else wrote. Instantly, one specific student said they wanted to share a letter from Dear Black Girl: Letters From Your Sisters on Stepping Into Your Power. At the time, I hadn’t read the book, but I owned it (yes, I am a serial book buyer). On the day of the ceremony to receive their completion certificates, I gathered all the students to ask them how confident they felt or if they needed to practice one last time. This student looked me in the eyes and said, “No, I’m ready. I want to read this letter written by Mrs. Dixon.” When the time came to present, this student stood up, shaking, and shared anchoring words from the book. Because of that moment, I can without a doubt say that this book is changing lives. Everyone’s eyes filled with tears as the words of Mrs. Keesha Dixon left this young writer’s mouth: “Hey Black Girl! Did you know there is a divine cord that connects us together? We cannot be separated. Our strength is in our stories.”...

Read Chantel Massey's full review at: https://www.indianaauthorsawards.org/...

[Morgan (prettylittlebookshelf) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Know that you are not alone.

You are not invisible, I see you.

You are capable.

You are powerful.

You are worthy.”

- Nicole Jackson

DEAR BLACK GIRL: Letters From Your Sisters on Stepping Into Your Power by Tamara Winfrey Harris is an empowering, heartfelt must-read collection.


These beautiful letters by Black women to young Black girls about identify, self-love, employment, mental health, violence, and sex are essential insights and lessons for young Black girls coming into their own. Harris stresses the importance of not letting the negative narrative of Black women be taken as fact and understanding your worth.

Oh how I wanted to reach out and hug the authors of these incredible letters as they shared gems about their experiences with discovering that self-worth is fundamental, finding supportive friends who do not view you as competition is vital, remembering that it is okay to be vulnerable, and most importantly that you are not alone.

These letters emphasize love, acceptance, empowerment and inclusivity. Black women are unique and should not feel that they have to fit a certain stereotype created by society to be palatable. Let Black women be unapologetic!

Thank you @tamarawinfreyharris @bkpub & @getredpr for the #gifted copy!

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

When the author asked black women to write honest and inspiring letters of support to young black girls, the request went viral. Hundreds of letters from black women poured in from around the globe. This book gathers some of those letters and organizes them into topics such as identity, self-love, parents, violence, grief, mental health, sex, and sexuality.

This book is absolutely beautiful. The author could've just put the letters in here, and it would have been enough. But instead, she peppered the book with definitions and history and all sorts of information about the importance of black artists and fostering young talent. She even included "Know This" passages that told us what we all need to know.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/tam...

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

J’ai beaucoup apprécié ce livre car en tant que jeune femme noire, il est parfois difficile de se construire comme les autres et d’avoir quelqu’un qui nous comprend. A travers ces lettres, on se sent écoutée, comprise et aimée. On est également encouragée par d’autres femmes noires sur plein de sujets tabous ou non. On nous apprend à ne pas laisser la société ou les autres nous définir. C’est un livre très «empowering » qui peut notamment servir lorsque l’on se sent mal ou que l’on a juste besoin d’être encouragée et se sentir comprise par quelqu’un d’autre. En lisant ces lettres, je me suis rendue compte que ce que je ressentais était un sentiment partagé par beaucoup d’autres femmes. En lisant ce livre, on ne sent plus seule ✨

[aviva · Rating 5 out of 5]

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 💗
.
You are loved, you are important, you are deserving of everything Good thing! You are blessed, you are smart, you are whatever you want to be!
.
Thank you @getredprbooks, @getredpr for my gifted copy! 𝐏𝐔𝐁 𝐃𝐀𝐘 3/9
.
This book by @tamarawinfreyharris is a love letter to black girls, letters of affirmation, of love, of acceptance, of encouragement, of inclusivity. I love the “ letter to my black girl self “ at the end of each chapter. These letters are timely and necessary!
.
Everybody gotta have people!

[Annalicia Taylur || pagesescape · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Know that you are not alone.
You are not invisible, I see you.
You are capable.
You are powerful.
You are worthy.” - Nicole Jackson

This was a great read, wish that my younger self would have read this book. Very informative! I was able to connect to the letters, loved that they were so uplifting. Every black girl needs to read this book but I would recommend it to everyone because they need to read about the things that black girl experiences on a daily basis so that they can understand the struggles.

[Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars. This was everything. I loved it from start to finish even though some of the essays were so difficult to read because they hit too close to home for me. It made me emotional as hell and at times a bit uncomfortable but it is definitely a more than worthy read and it’s so damn relatable. I will read whatever Ms. Winfrey published because she absolutely gets it. I look forward to seeing what she publishes next.