25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing: How to Get Unstuck and Own Your Defining Decade

by Paul Angone

Your twenties are your defining decade, the time in which you are setting the course for the rest of your life it. You don't want to look back later and realize you ended up somewhere you never intended to go in the first place. How do you block out all the lies, half-truths, and "supposed-to's" constantly assaulting you from articles, social media posts, and well-meaning friends and family? How do you find something real, something true, something infused with purpose and meaning?

Funny, vulnerable, and to the point, this book exposes the false beliefs that can derail your current happiness and future impact, like

- having big dreams is naïve
- success just happens
- everyone else is experiencing the success you were supposed to
- when you fail you're a failure
- and many more

This story-driven book shows you that you're not alone in your insecurities and second-guessing, then shows you how to replace the lies with the truth--that you can live a life of purpose, earn a good paycheck, leave a legacy, and have fun doing it.

Genres: Self Help, Personal Development, Audiobook

208 pages, Paperback

Published March 2, 2021

About the author

Paul Angone is about bringing truth, hope, and hilarity for anyone going through "Groan Up" life .

Paul's newest book is "Listen to Your Day: The Life-Changing Practicer of Paying Attention", which Publisher's Weekly gave a positive review, writing "Angone’s encouraging attitude is infectious. Readers will appreciate this solid, down-to-earth entry.”

Paul is also the best-selling author of the books "101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties," "101 Secrets For Your Twenties", "25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing", having sold over 150,000 books and counting!

Paul is also the creator of AllGroanUp.com -- a place for those asking "what now?", which has received millions of visitors from over 190 countries. He is also a sought-after Millennial speaker and organizational consultant.

Paul is married with four kids and lives in Denver, CO. Find him at AllGroanUp.com, PaulAngone.com, and find him on Instagram and Twitter @PaulAngone

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️
I listened to this in one day and I did like Adam Verner who was the narrator. I wouldn’t necessarily call this a Christian book because that world view was never clearly identified. The author does share his faith (a little) but he could of easily been a Mormon, JW or Jew because of the vagueness.
This is definitely for a younger audience that may be curious about the lies flying around.
I did learned new things about the artist Bob Ross and comedian Jerry Seinfeld. I’m not going to tell you what they were. You’ll have to read the book yourself.
I discovered that we as a nation have stooped so low as to have created selfie museums all over this country. Yes, apparently that a thing! Who knew?
The author talks a lot about our digital Babylon. The stumbling blocks of hand held devices and social media. A lot of this was common knowledge but I suspect it would be helpful for many.
I had a problem with movie examples because well...they’re just movies. So they didn’t make much of an impression because none of it is real.
Thanks RB Media and ChristianAudio via Netgalley for this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

[Bailee Geries · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some good reminders but felt immature for me.

[R-mig · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am in my mid-twenties.

It again felt completely forced. I say "again", because I've read 4 Paul Angone books until now, and 2 of them disappointed every living bone in my body, while the other two made me laugh so much and took me on so many journeys.
I feel like when he talks about his life as he's done in "All Groan Up", it's more entertaining for me, as a reader.
This motivational approach is too bland and, unfortunately, doesn't always work.
I'm not saying the lies Angone dissects are not relevant; they're just not presented well enough to meet my taste or interest. This may be another person's cup of tea, but it surely isn't mine.
I wouldn't recommend this book.

[Alaa Ayman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh.

[Morgan Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read! Luckily, I do not struggle with believing many of these lies, but even still, I got a lot out of this. For twenty something’s who feel lost, this book could be incredibly life changing. I enjoyed how each chapter had bullet point take-aways at the end. There were some chapters that I skimmed through and mostly just read the ending bullet points if I did not fully relate to that chapter topic. I’m not one to use the word “inspiring” too much, as I feel like it is used too lightly, but this book truly did inspire me to continue living a meaningful, intentional, beautiful life. Life is gift and we have the power to make the most of it and not just let it pass us by.

There are SO many powerful nuggets from this book that I will continuously claim over myself. One that stuck with me is, “I will live unapologetically big, while being faithful in the small.”

[Marissa Mariano · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was hit or miss for me. There were some points that I loved and others that I didn’t. It does make me feel good that I agree/ am doing most of these things as a 26/ almost 27 year old. I think this could be an important read although I did find that some of the analogies were weird and brought up very often. I also found that I didn’t know some of the quotes/ people/ and things he was referring to which had me confused and drifting off in the middle of the book. All in all I think this is a good idea for a book but it just needs a little tweaking to be more relevant.

[Amber Streeter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good advice and inspiration to glean from this book!

[Monica Mohr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. He had a lot of great things to say, and I loved it because it inspired me to set goals and reminded me to stay off of social media and think about the things in my life that are life giving.

[Shelby Brainard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, practical, applicable wisdom for people in their 20s!

[Casey | Essentially Novel · Rating 4 out of 5]

“𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘴.”

Thanks to Baker Books and Paul Angone for the free book in exchange for my honest review.

Paul wrote this book to those in the weird years post-college when we’re still trying to figure ourselves, our lives, and our jobs out. He reminds us that the lies we believe and live are the most harmful, and we need to “call [them] out by name and remove them.” He even further reminds us that in order to fight these lies, we cannot do it on our own and need truth-speaking community surrounding us. Paul offers perspectives and some practical advice at the end of each chapter to aid the reader to move beyond that specific lie. He also talks about boundaries with social media, distractions, failures, and though Paul wrote to address both believers and nonbelievers, he very clearly talks about God, referring to Him as the Truth-Teller, and a bit of the advice and truth he offers is related to Scripture (without directly quoting it). I found this encouraging as I read it. (Although the chapter that Paul does outright talk about God, I personally wish he capitalized the pronouns in reference to God like he does with Truth-Teller, and it could’ve probably been a little longer.)

As a twenty-eight year old single woman still working jobs that aren’t what I was educated for and desire to be in, let alone who also happened to move 750 miles during a pandemic to a place she didn’t know and the closest person I know is a 4+ hour car ride away and not one thing has gone right these past 8 months, I can assure you this: life is weird. It’s ambiguous. It’s full of unknowns and uncertainties, things beyond my control, and it’s far too easy to compare my life to those I know and follow on social media; to hold my life up to the standard and expectations that culture has, and believe damaging lies. I have to stop listening and believing those lies; the ones that whisper and shout I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough, no one wants to be my friend, no one cares about my heartache, I’ll never be financially free, etc etc.

This is what Paul is driving at, writing to help open our eyes to all the lies we have somehow ended up believing and need to stop listening to. He reminds us of truth and a better way of thinking. It’s insightful, funny, practical, and encouraging. There were moments that Paul made me stop and think, and reflect.

“𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴?”

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘺-𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺.”

“𝘞𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦.”

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸.”

[Prairie Sky Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been following Paul Angone’s writing journey for many years now. I have always found him to be a very wise, relatable author who somehow manages to take concepts about young adulthood that are so real, but often misunderstand, and transform them into lessons about life and living that we all need to learn sooner than later.

So, that is why I knew I needed to read his newest book from BakerBooks, entitled “25 Lies Twenty-Somethings Need To Stop Believing: How To Get Unstuck And Own Your Defining Decade”.

From my perspective, this is Paul’s best book yet - it goes deep, and strikes chords of maturity and faith and making the best of uncertainties that really resonated with me. In fact, I’ve bookmarked multiple pages that I need to go back and re-read and journal about. The author’s signature humor is ever present, and he reveals the hurts and struggles of our twenties and thirties as something so relatable and honest that you can’t help but connect with his messages. In my opinion, this foundation of shared experience and understanding is the best conduit for growth.

Just take a look at some of my favorites of the “Lies” that Paul debunks in this book...

#2 - I’m an incapable human being who is incapable of doing things that most capable people can do / / a.k.a. I suck

#3 - I’m the only one struggling

#14 - My life doesn’t look like it was ‘supposed to’

#15 - Nostalgia

#19 - Nothing good can come out of this

#25 - Silence needs to be filled with noise

If you are in your twenties or thirties and these chapter titles don’t resonate with you, well, I’m not sure what else to say! But if you are like me, these lies, and the rest of Paul’s insight too, may be just what you need right now.

“Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.”

[Cristian Bacinschi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have first of all liked that each lie had its own chapter and that you could just explore more about the topic or just learn more in the end. Most of the chapters seemed to me like the recurrent things that are going on from adolescence to adulthood regarding living more carelessly and just thinking about yourself and your own well-being. The chapters also approached the fears regarding being an adult which consisted of being alone more, having to invest more in relationships and just being more responsible and trustworthy in your actions. I would have liked more details and personal stories on some of the chapters but overall they have enough context to understand the problem. Also having more solutions to the same problem would have seemed nicer for me at least because understanding the problem without having any action plan as a solution is not a good way forward.

[Lady Tamakloe · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title looked like something I will enjoy but that wasn’t really the case.
I could relate with some of the lies the author stated and I liked how he started the book with a story.
But along the line if got boring.

A few lessons from this book:
-Be wise about who you take life’s advice from
- Be thankful and always give thanks
-Each step is taking you somewhere. Each step matters
-Things will change. They always do
-We fail, we all do but maybe failing is training in disguise. It’s a path to your success not a detour. This too shall pass: successes and failure both. The difference between the two is perseverance. Keep walking forward, keep pushing, don’t quit.
-Make time for what is important!

[Sassy Sarah Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

This audiobook did not hold my interest and the narrator seemed to breeze through the text without any emotion behind his voice. I felt detached from the information and as though I was not getting anything to help build me in my walk with God. I decided to DNF it.

[Jay Semeniuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was gifted to me by my mom for my birthday last year and i finally got around to reading it. i think its a wonderful book to consider reading even if youre not in your twenties. only parts i didnt like were all the mentions of god

[Aaliyah · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting perspectives, thought provoking. realistic

[Zhanet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too much focus on social media, but there were some rather useful reminders. Nevertheless, I was expecting to learn more.

[Sarah Buckman · Rating 5 out of 5]

a great book for those going through quarter life crisis!

[Payton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly loved this book! It really helped inspire me and got me thinking about my life and how it is just beginning. This a definitely a book I would recommend for anyone in their 20s!

[Beth Stubbs · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book, Paul takes us through a journey of 25 'lies' faced in our 20's, offering practical advice on how to tackle them; he brings it to life with real-world examples from the lives of well-known (and somewhat unassuming) characters, along with examples from his own life too.


The title of the book defines the target audience within a certain age bracket, and I find Paul naturally levels with me as a 25-year-old reader, offering an informed perspective of understanding rather than judgement.


I was fond of the encouragements revealed through psychological concepts, for example, challenging the 'bi-stander effect', i.e. 'what does is matter if I do something? If I don't someone else will'.

A fair section of the book focused on tackling modern-day issues such as the impact of social media, comparison disorder and social isolation.

Whilst that all sounds a fairly common topic for discussion, one challenge that I haven't seen advice for is that often, 20-somethings end up in mundane jobs and situations; it's rare for the 'dream job' to land in your lap. I was therefore pleasantly surprised with the way Paul navigated the topic of 'success'. He suggested an adjustment of perspective to 'perfecting your craft' - encouraging us to find ways to use mundane situations, jobs etc. as opportunities to improve and prepare ourselves for the future.


I particularly liked the advice on "Alternative ways to say I love you" in relationships with family, friends and partners. This section provides you with 5 alternative phrases, e.g. 'I trust you', 'I want to spend time with you' etc. The point being, if you can't truthfully say these things about a relationship, it would be healthy to evaluate it and put in-place healthy limitations etc. Paul is intentional to point us to the 'right thing to do' rather than chasing happiness.


So why 3-stars? This book is clearly advertised as a Christian book, however, whilst Paul points to God and prayer on occasion, he only points to scripture once throughout the whole book, about two thirds of the way through (Psalm 23). The writer clearly has a close connection with God and his viewpoints align with Christian morality. Yet, for me personally, I would have loved to see how these perspectives/concepts were connected through the Bible. I feel that the lessons discussed in this book fell short of providing the opportunity to help others get to know Jesus; which is core to the Christian calling. For example, when discussing how to focus on 'perfecting your craft' he could have talked about Joseph learning diplomacy and humility before being able to become second most powerful man in Egypt. Or he could have talked about Apostle Paul making tents whilst also pursuing his passion for preaching the Gospel. This is not a book about ministry or a 'young leader' which is nice, and so could easily be read by anyone and building scripture in can only help us younger readers in a secular world.


Overall, I found some good snippets of advice from Paul's book that, I'm sure, I will carry with me throughout the rest of my 20's and beyond - this made it a triumph. A little more linking to 'The Book' and it would have been even better.


Just a note for those who struggle to find time to read, this available as an audiobook, which I listened to myself. Great for car journeys, walks, trips to the gym etc.


Thank you to Netgally, Paul Angone and RB Media for copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Kristen U · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2022
This was another fantastic book written by Paul Angone. I have read several of his book in the past and they always seem to speak the words of encouragement and faith that I need to hear in that point in my life.

I feel like in my 20s after graduating college there are no more training wheels. By that I mean you don’t have a advisor, Professor or guidelines from a major defining what your best next step will be. You are expected to get a job, find out how to succeed in it and if you could manage to maintain or establish new friendships or get into a romantic relationship that would be great too. But unlike college and high school you have a lot to figure out and no playbook to follow.

All these changes leaves you asking the terrifying question…… Am I doing this right? A question that no one can truly answer for you. It’s one you will have to answer many years after the fact. And hindsight is always 20/20. The good news is that the crazy experiences that you gain during this wicked decade have a odd way of being useful down the road. This book provides several examples of this!

Paul’s book speaks to this scary decade of a persons life. Where you have so much you want to do but not exactly sure how to get there. You are in unfamiliar territory with no clear map how to navigate the terrain. You have possibly your first real job, car, house, spouse, child. And again trying to figure out the right answers to the test of life. You can’t seem to get your social media to look as awesome and effortless as all of your friends. But here is a hint they are thinking the same about yours!!

This book along with his others allows you a moment to take a deep breath and know you are not alone. You are not the only one who has ever quit a job, gotten laid off, hated their boss, drops everything to move across country in search of a new adventure.

I am so thankful to Paul and his books for helping shine a light on one of the most challenging decades that anyone could face. And lending a supportive hand though his stories to say it’s ok. Keep pushing through and you will get to the other side!