The Bad Box

by Carlton Mellick III

Little Benny isn't very good at taking tests. It's not that he's a stupid kid or doesn't pay attention in class. It's just that he's absolutely terrified of failure. It doesn't matter how hard he studies. He gets so nervous that he freezes up and his mind goes blank, rarely even answering a single question before the time is up. This is especially difficult now that he's in Mrs. Gustafson's fifth grade class, where the punishment for failure is to draw a curse from the bad box - a magical device that permanently mutates children into horrific monsters.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror

141 pages, Paperback

Published September 1, 2020

About the author

Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.

Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.

He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.

In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.

In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.

Reviews

[Lisa Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Bad Box by Carlton Mellick III is a creepy little bizarro horror novella with something to say. This is a very in-your-face story, both heart-wrenching and stomach-turning. It’s surprisingly evocative.

I read this book in one sitting. It flows like Class V whitewater rapids, fast and furious and battering your senses. Mellick uses colorful characters and valid psychology to weave the bizarre and horrifying plot into quite the compelling read.

In his Author’s note at the beginning, Mellick says The Bad Box is a story about classism, but I find it to be much more than that. He also incorporates the sociological controversies of punishment as motivation, bullying, stereotyping, and a few other things regarding parenting and the education system. But most importantly, the story is fabulously entertaining—in a dark and twisted way, of course. To say I am duly impressed would be an understatement.

Whether you care about depth in your horror or not, The Bad Box is a highly recommended read for those who enjoy fast-paced and edgy horror. (Not for the easily offended)

[Danger]

Hits all the right notes. Original and allegorical and full of all the world-building flourishes I've come to love from Mellick. Read it in one sitting.

[Mindi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to follow...

[Allison | crazypageturner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mrs. Gustafson’s class is one of a kind. If you ace a test, you get a reward from the good box. If you fail a test, you get a curse from the bad box. Fed up with the ways of their odd teacher, a few students decide to rebel and come up with a plan to get rid of these boxes once and for all.

I loved hearing about the curses, both good and bad. Such a cool concept and I was dying to know where the story was going to go. How can the kids function? How long do they last? How bad do they get!? I was just totally enthralled with learning more!

A story on good versus evil. Good kids forced to be evil….And some bad kids that are seen as good kids. This book touches on bullying, young love, determination, perseverance and also some much sought after payback.

I felt for Benny so much! I don’t want to give away any of his unfortunate curses but let’s just say the kid had it BAAAAD! He was the worst test taker in school which means he had sooo many horrible curses thrust upon him. Mika was a good ying to his yang giving him some backbone and confidence he was otherwise lacking.

I honestly LOVED the plot. A good box holding rewards for kids who do well on tests and a bad box holding punishments for kids who fail tests. I found that immediately captivating! The ending is kinda where it lost me a little bit and made me drop a star 🫤 I would have liked some more answers and finality. Otherwise the characters, the story and journey was great! Another original, attention-pulling story created by Mellick!

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick enjoyable read.

[Steven · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a crazy fun read! Not only do I love these covers to this set of books, but the stories are so wild that you never know what direction or twisted scenario Mellick is going to come up with. Plus, his characters are relatable, and I really felt bad for Benny. Plus, I found it interesting that Mellick made the 5th grade teacher a villain because my 5th grade teacher resembled this one. Thankfully, mine didn't have a Bad Box.

[Samaire Wynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ending was unsatisfying. But a commentary on current American society, which sucks, so ending makes sense.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mrs. Gustafson is a school teacher who has two boxes, one good and one bad. When a student gets 100% on a test, he/she can put his/her hand inside the good box and be rewarded, usually with a super power like the ability to read minds, angel wings, the ability to instantly know another language, etc. But those who fail must reach inside the bad box and receive a curse, like Benny, who has been cursed with goat legs, ball bearing eyes, and his friend Mika, who has been turned into a blue gelatinous blob. The two of them hatch a plot to steal both the boxes and remove their curses. This is indeed bizarro fiction. The author, in his introduction, says this is a story about classism, and I agree. It's definitely a surreal story, but also socially relevant.

[Leo Au · Rating 4 out of 5]

My 23rd Mellick so far. Perhaps not the top but still a very good bizarro-pleasure. I liked the blob girl.

[Dean Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

She blob knows whats good, take what you cant get in life. Morals to live by.

[Amanda (spooky.octopus.reads) Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Bad Box is a cute little dip into the world of bizzaro horror fiction with some depth beyond the story centered around a group of elementary school children. I appreciate that Mellick tackles the issues of classism, stereotyping, and bullying while also presenting a crazy story that you'll want to devour.

Mrs. Gustafson both punishes and rewards her students for their performance on tests in her class. On the surface, it may not seem like a terrible idea...but, trust me, both the rewards and the punishments are pretty horrifying in their own ways. You could sprout wings, read minds, or know multiple languages OR you could turn into a pile of goo, have crickets squirming within your body, or grow a tail. No one knows what awaits them when they stick their hand into the good box or the dreaded bad box. This seemingly goes on every day until Mika and Benny decide to hatch a plot to destroy the boxes and remove the curses they have each been given.

The way Mellick presented the characters' plights made me really feel for Mika and Benny, and I found myself rooting for them until the end. I wanted the "popular" kids, the ones who got all the rewards, to be cursed, if only just once. I could see the dynamics of a school pretty accurately playing out in the story, even if it was in a bit of an exaggerated and bizarre way. This certainly was a crazy story and a wild ride, but if you like your horror a little silly, or a little more than surface level, this one is for you.

[William M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Bad Box is loads of fun to read and consistently filled with unique scenes and concepts. Having read dozens of author Carlton Mellick's work, I would rate this as one of his better entries, although not in the top 5 for me. Once the story structure was in place, the narrative continued in a way that I felt was a bit too predicable. It was still amazing work, but I would have liked to have been more surprised at the developments. My only real issue was the vague motivation by the teacher, Mrs. Gustafson, as to why she is doing what does, along with her origin. This was the weakest point in the story for me, but I still recommend it as an easier gateway into the bizarro genre for new readers.

[Gerhard Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked it. I liked it a lot.

The Bad Box, like anything by Carlton Mellick, is a total trip, strange, quirky, unique, and an absolute page turner. The Bad Box is bizarro at its best. It is pure and undiluted by elements of extreme horror or splatterpunk, not that there would have been anything wrong with it if there were (as I am a huge fan of both), but the fact that it is closer to straight fictional is a real treat in that it allows the reader to focus on other elements of the story they might have otherwise missed. And with Mellick at the wheel, you can be sure that any journey he takes you on will be a real treat.

[Julie Furlong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I thoroughly enjoyed this book, it wasn’t my top 5 from Mellick. I felt so bad for Benny, getting the short end of the stick whenever he took a test and got so nervous that he failed and had to pick out of the “bad box”. Then there’s Myka, who also got to pick out of the bad box, which everyone called “Slime girl”. If I had to move it up a star, I would love to see the origin story to Mrs Gustafson. Why did she do what she did? Other than that, the story was fast paced and super fun to read!!!

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great story by CM3. This one very much a tale of classism and oppression but also told in a way that feels like a backstory to a superhero/villain.

The characters he writes are always superb and I absolutely adored Mika. I truly felt for her and Benny and rooted for them in such a way that while the ending might not have been satisfying it was one that made sense to me.

CM3 has really cemented himself as not just my favorite bizarro author but one of my favorite authors period.

[Sophie Ingley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of Carlton Mellick, and really need to update my Goodreads account with all the books I’ve read of his!

As usual, this is a fab piece of Bizarro. I loved every quirky page of it. It did make me realise that I’d definitely be one of the students who’d end up putting their hand in the Bad Box, as I suck at taking tests!

Loved this very and wish I could shoot rainbows from my fingertips.

[Cris Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carlton is a master at wrapping human behavior and morals into bizarre situations and this book is another example of this. When you continue to have bad luck - in this case by drawing from the bad box - does that make you the villain? When you continue to have great luck - in this case by drawing from the good box - does that make you the hero?
Excellent work.

[Lily Kej · Rating 5 out of 5]

CM3 writes another gross and cute classic! The punishment/reward system that Mrs. Gustafson has concocted for her students is truly twisted. The only thing that could make me put this book down was my inability to stay conscious into the wee hours of the morning.

[Ashley Dougherty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good vs evil. The keeper of the boxes. Students obeying the rules to get ahead. Two outcasts find each other and truly learn what it means to be good. Mutations or gifts? It’s all in how you perceive it.

[Juanma Legend · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mi primera lectura del género Bizarro. Nada mal, esperaba mucha menos profundidad y transfondo. Me ha sorprendido gratamente.

[Era Fritz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most beautiful book I ever read

[JoeBob Trash · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lame.

[Marissa Lawton · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ✨ I actually really enjoyed the book but ending didn’t do anything for me so that was disappointing but generally, it was an enjoyable ride!