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320 pages, Hardcover
Published October 29, 2020
How wrong I was. Then again, how could I foresee what we would become? We were trainee priests, for heaven’s sake. Lust, obsession, sex, violence, these were precisely the things that were supposed to be off the agenda. The church can be uptight about sex and love between a married man and woman; sex between women is enough to send otherwise sensible members of the church into apoplexy. So, no, I had no idea what was to unfold between Evie and me in the weeks to come. She stood on my doorstep and invited me out for a drink. I smiled back, said, ‘That would be lovely’, and stepped out on the path that would ultimately lead to her death.
I think that at that moment I would have done anything she asked of me. Her self-possession made my heart sing. I’m not going to lie. Part of Evie’s magic for me was that she was everything I was not. She was privileged and wealthy. She’d been born into a family that had exercised real power and she felt no need to conceal her past (or so I imagined). She’d gone to the right kind of school and the right kind of university. She seemed to me to be at ease with her story and her faith; she was a Christian and an Anglican because that is what people of her background and class here raised to be. If she was, by turns, foul-mouthed and scholarly, it was because she was herself. I suppose that’s what I wanted to be. Myself. I was constantly aware of my works of invention and my dissimulations. Evie just seemed a natural.