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Brutal School Ties: The Parktown Boys' Tragedy
South Africa is blessed with some of the best biodiversity in the world. Included in this biodiversity are some of the most deadly snakes in the world.
This guide aims to educate young readers on the deadly snakes that we find in South Africa.
This text is designed to give a learner practice in reading interesting and enjoyable content. It is also a first “Field Guide”.
This guide aims to educate young readers on the deadly snakes that we find in South Africa.
This text is designed to give a learner practice in reading interesting and enjoyable content. It is also a first “Field Guide”.
250 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 4, 2020
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82 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 9, 2020
#BrutalSchoolTies - Sam Cowen
#MelindaFergusonBooks (imprint of #NBPublishers)
Parktown Boys’ High School became news for all the wrong reasons: the festering wound erupted on 3 November 2016 when Collan Rex, the assistant waterpolo coach, was arrested and later charged with 327 offences, including attempted murder, sexual assault, rape and grooming. Only a few years later the school was in the news again when a young scholar, Enock Mpianzi, drowned at a school camp.
When I started reading this book I was under the impression that the focus would be on the sexual offences committed by Rex and it came as quite a shock when I realized that his part in this tragedy was merely one of the atrocities allowed by the authorities at this school. For generations the ‘old boys’ created an environment of toxic masculinity, bullying was considered ‘normal’, silence was essential for acceptance and violence was part of hostel life. This created the perfect setting for predators to strike - and get away with it - because it was accepted as ‘initiation into manhood’.
Collan Rex, an ‘old boy’ himself, suffered similar trauma and became a part of the ongoing tragic events when he returned to his alma mater as a teacher. If those in the know had spoken up, the abuse of his victims could have been avoided and Enock could still have been alive. It is tragic that one person (Rex) had to take the fall for a system that became rogue and corrupt to the core.
My only criticism is that the interviews were taken down verbatim (a deal made between the author and those interviewed) and these parts are thus mostly unedited; containing repetitions and incomplete sentences and are not always chronological and logic.
It is nevertheless an excellent book; disturbing and emotional, but necessary and well deserving of 4 stars.
#Uitdieperdsebek
#MelindaFergusonBooks (imprint of #NBPublishers)
Parktown Boys’ High School became news for all the wrong reasons: the festering wound erupted on 3 November 2016 when Collan Rex, the assistant waterpolo coach, was arrested and later charged with 327 offences, including attempted murder, sexual assault, rape and grooming. Only a few years later the school was in the news again when a young scholar, Enock Mpianzi, drowned at a school camp.
When I started reading this book I was under the impression that the focus would be on the sexual offences committed by Rex and it came as quite a shock when I realized that his part in this tragedy was merely one of the atrocities allowed by the authorities at this school. For generations the ‘old boys’ created an environment of toxic masculinity, bullying was considered ‘normal’, silence was essential for acceptance and violence was part of hostel life. This created the perfect setting for predators to strike - and get away with it - because it was accepted as ‘initiation into manhood’.
Collan Rex, an ‘old boy’ himself, suffered similar trauma and became a part of the ongoing tragic events when he returned to his alma mater as a teacher. If those in the know had spoken up, the abuse of his victims could have been avoided and Enock could still have been alive. It is tragic that one person (Rex) had to take the fall for a system that became rogue and corrupt to the core.
My only criticism is that the interviews were taken down verbatim (a deal made between the author and those interviewed) and these parts are thus mostly unedited; containing repetitions and incomplete sentences and are not always chronological and logic.
It is nevertheless an excellent book; disturbing and emotional, but necessary and well deserving of 4 stars.
#Uitdieperdsebek
July 13, 2020
A most gripping and powerful read. A part of me did not want to put this down, but I had to take breaks in between reading because the content of this book was so emotionally draining.
The focus of the book is on the sexual abuse meted out by former water polo coach, Collan Rex on several underage boys at the school. But what the book clearly illustrates in gathering various points of view, from victims to their parents, educators and even the perpetrator - is that the root of the problem really lies in the broader system at play at Parktown Boys. It extends to physical assault and bullying in the name of initiations and a military style ethos of breaking one down to build one up, founded on toxic masculinity in which homophobia also finds a place. All boys have to go through it to become ‘men’ & to speak up and to object is to be weak and to betray your ‘brothers’.
The author should be commended for bringing the experiences of these people to light and giving them a voice, and allowing them to share their truth.
Their story needs to be told even though we may not like what we hear.
My heart broke for many of the victims who are still struggling to deal with the events which have taken place. I hope that in telling their story they will get some comfort and take some steps forward in their journey of healing, knowing that their bravery will be an inspiration to many.
The biggest lesson of this story is that the environment at Parktown Boys is just a drop in the ocean of our society at large, and the twisted gender norms and stereotypes that define it. We need to seriously have more open dialogue about these issues because to stay silent and to let the system continue will result in more of our sons, brothers, fathers and husbands being broken men, perpetuating a culture and cycle of abuse.
The focus of the book is on the sexual abuse meted out by former water polo coach, Collan Rex on several underage boys at the school. But what the book clearly illustrates in gathering various points of view, from victims to their parents, educators and even the perpetrator - is that the root of the problem really lies in the broader system at play at Parktown Boys. It extends to physical assault and bullying in the name of initiations and a military style ethos of breaking one down to build one up, founded on toxic masculinity in which homophobia also finds a place. All boys have to go through it to become ‘men’ & to speak up and to object is to be weak and to betray your ‘brothers’.
The author should be commended for bringing the experiences of these people to light and giving them a voice, and allowing them to share their truth.
Their story needs to be told even though we may not like what we hear.
My heart broke for many of the victims who are still struggling to deal with the events which have taken place. I hope that in telling their story they will get some comfort and take some steps forward in their journey of healing, knowing that their bravery will be an inspiration to many.
The biggest lesson of this story is that the environment at Parktown Boys is just a drop in the ocean of our society at large, and the twisted gender norms and stereotypes that define it. We need to seriously have more open dialogue about these issues because to stay silent and to let the system continue will result in more of our sons, brothers, fathers and husbands being broken men, perpetuating a culture and cycle of abuse.
January 11, 2021
You begin this book knowing what happened, a young water polo coach, an old boy of the school, molested many, many boys. I know how I felt about him at the start of the book, how would I feel by the end?
What you know at the start of the book, the bare bones of Brutal School Ties is like looking through a keyhole and thinking that you have the whole story. You don't, you need to open the door and step inside before the tragedy unfolds.
The full story begins almost a decade earlier, and even before that. As you near the end you realise that the story that you started reading thinking it was about a young water polo coach is about more.
It's about a toxic code of silence stretching back further than anyone can pinpoint, it's about masters and old boys looking away, it's about the normalisation of abuse and it's about boys having nowhere to turn. It's about belittling and humiliating 13 year olds so that they become compliant, silent victims, waiting for their turn to have a go at 13 year olds that were just like them a handful of years ago.
It has stayed with me this book,I think how many have passed through that school, what has happened to them and wonder how they are doing today. The ones that no one knows about. The ones with no book that tells their story, anonymously or otherwise.
And the water polo coach? Well, I'll leave you to read the book to see how you feel about him after you've turned the last page.
What you know at the start of the book, the bare bones of Brutal School Ties is like looking through a keyhole and thinking that you have the whole story. You don't, you need to open the door and step inside before the tragedy unfolds.
The full story begins almost a decade earlier, and even before that. As you near the end you realise that the story that you started reading thinking it was about a young water polo coach is about more.
It's about a toxic code of silence stretching back further than anyone can pinpoint, it's about masters and old boys looking away, it's about the normalisation of abuse and it's about boys having nowhere to turn. It's about belittling and humiliating 13 year olds so that they become compliant, silent victims, waiting for their turn to have a go at 13 year olds that were just like them a handful of years ago.
It has stayed with me this book,I think how many have passed through that school, what has happened to them and wonder how they are doing today. The ones that no one knows about. The ones with no book that tells their story, anonymously or otherwise.
And the water polo coach? Well, I'll leave you to read the book to see how you feel about him after you've turned the last page.
August 9, 2020
(TW: sexual assault. molestation, physical abuse)
Parktown Boys High School(PBHS) has been in the news more often than not over the last few years, almost always in a negative way. From accounts of initiation practices, sexual assault, and the tragic drowning of Enock Mpianzi at a grade 8 camp, there isn't a good story to tell.
In this book, Samantha Cowen recounts and gains the perspective of the various people who were confronted with PBHS traditions of abuse, traditions that enabled the convicted offender Collan Rex to sexually and physically abuse several boys.
+ The author worked with a complex case and was able to strip everything down to the human feelings and thoughts. This book was not overtly focused on what happened, but rather on how the involved persons felt and were impacted by it
The author also remains respectful of each of the persons involved, and she allows them to tell their stories in their own words
- This novel doesn't focus much on the detail of the case, so its maybe not for those who seek specifics
One aspect I struggled with was the author's interaction with Collan Rex himself. On the one hand, I understand the need to gain his trust and tell his story from his perspective, but I battled with how the author continuously sought to affirm his position as a victim, and not as a 22 year old adult who should have been able to account for their actions. As someone who is a similar age to what Collan Rex was when he committed his abuse, I know that the interactions he had with those boys were wrong. One does not simply slip into molestation. I firmly believe that he saw the power dynamic and exploited it
I do wish that the author dissected the traditions of silence and abuse more, but I understand the obstacles that she was working with
This is an important book, because it highlights that our schools aren't doing well, and we need to sit up and pay more attention.
Parktown Boys High School(PBHS) has been in the news more often than not over the last few years, almost always in a negative way. From accounts of initiation practices, sexual assault, and the tragic drowning of Enock Mpianzi at a grade 8 camp, there isn't a good story to tell.
In this book, Samantha Cowen recounts and gains the perspective of the various people who were confronted with PBHS traditions of abuse, traditions that enabled the convicted offender Collan Rex to sexually and physically abuse several boys.
+ The author worked with a complex case and was able to strip everything down to the human feelings and thoughts. This book was not overtly focused on what happened, but rather on how the involved persons felt and were impacted by it
The author also remains respectful of each of the persons involved, and she allows them to tell their stories in their own words
- This novel doesn't focus much on the detail of the case, so its maybe not for those who seek specifics
One aspect I struggled with was the author's interaction with Collan Rex himself. On the one hand, I understand the need to gain his trust and tell his story from his perspective, but I battled with how the author continuously sought to affirm his position as a victim, and not as a 22 year old adult who should have been able to account for their actions. As someone who is a similar age to what Collan Rex was when he committed his abuse, I know that the interactions he had with those boys were wrong. One does not simply slip into molestation. I firmly believe that he saw the power dynamic and exploited it
I do wish that the author dissected the traditions of silence and abuse more, but I understand the obstacles that she was working with
This is an important book, because it highlights that our schools aren't doing well, and we need to sit up and pay more attention.
August 2, 2020
TW/CW for the book: child abuse, child rape, toxic behaviors, abuse, assault, homophobia, etc
This was not easy to read. As a teacher, and someone who cares deeply about children, it was a tough book to get through, but it was necessary. Cowen manages to tell a truthful story that considers all sides of the story (including the perpetrator) while still getting down to the root issue and condemning the behaviors. Cowen emphasises that the issues are trauma bonding, secrecy, toxic masculinity and toxic patriarchy, as well as the fact that young men are not really encouraged to share their emotions and feelings. The book was well written and well researched and I devoured it the day I bought it. However, it was emotionally challenging. It has encouraged me to be a better teacher, to be a better mentor and role model to the students that I teach. Trigger warnings and content warnings abound.
PS: Sam - please update the Goodreads details on this!
This was not easy to read. As a teacher, and someone who cares deeply about children, it was a tough book to get through, but it was necessary. Cowen manages to tell a truthful story that considers all sides of the story (including the perpetrator) while still getting down to the root issue and condemning the behaviors. Cowen emphasises that the issues are trauma bonding, secrecy, toxic masculinity and toxic patriarchy, as well as the fact that young men are not really encouraged to share their emotions and feelings. The book was well written and well researched and I devoured it the day I bought it. However, it was emotionally challenging. It has encouraged me to be a better teacher, to be a better mentor and role model to the students that I teach. Trigger warnings and content warnings abound.
PS: Sam - please update the Goodreads details on this!
July 16, 2020
This was one of the saddest books I’ve ever read. Not only for the victims, but for every single person involved.
Sam has done a tremendous job. She’s looked at the situation from every single angle in a sensitive and respectful way. She’s got the ability to get the best out of each person she’s interviewed, including the perpetrator, who I also feel deeply sorry for in a strange way.
Reading this book brought back many deeply buried memories of my days in boarding school. I can’t help but feel, in this case, that the teachers turned a blind eye to the bullying and sexual abuse and placed the school tradition and associated secrecy ahead of the boys’ well-being. They need to be held accountable as parents and pupils alike place their trust in them.
It’s a good read and something that every parent needs to read before considering putting their boys in boarding school.
Sam has done a tremendous job. She’s looked at the situation from every single angle in a sensitive and respectful way. She’s got the ability to get the best out of each person she’s interviewed, including the perpetrator, who I also feel deeply sorry for in a strange way.
Reading this book brought back many deeply buried memories of my days in boarding school. I can’t help but feel, in this case, that the teachers turned a blind eye to the bullying and sexual abuse and placed the school tradition and associated secrecy ahead of the boys’ well-being. They need to be held accountable as parents and pupils alike place their trust in them.
It’s a good read and something that every parent needs to read before considering putting their boys in boarding school.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2020
I love everything Sam Cowen writes. She just seems to have such a great conversational tone in her writing. This book absolutely infuriated me and broke my heart in equal parts. I cannot believe such violence and humiliation can be so "normalised" in a school environment. I have two stepsons, one who is now an "old boy" and one that is still attending a very famous JHB boys school and have been planning to send my 11 year old there for high school too but this made me seriously reconsider. I lay awake for hours after finishing the book, planning my talk with them to see what their experiences had been at their own Gr 8 camps and wondered what they would actually tell me seeing as there is such a code of silence around initiations. I too was amazed that in the end I also felt sorry for Collen Rex who was as much as a victim. Great read.
August 2, 2020
Broken minds, bodies and lives.
An emotional roller coaster. Busting wide open, the stereotyped notion of what it takes to be 'a man'.
Sam Cowan's empathetic interviewing of the abused Parktown Boys high school students, and their parents, is a synthesis of mother, psychologist, cop and healer.
I expected eruptions in response to some questions. That didn't happen.
This is a vital and cautionary read for parents and caregivers about ceding power to schools that have a code of 'what happens here, stays here.'
Sam's writing flows effortlessly and sensitively. It's a riveting and heart-breaking read. *Highly* recommended.
An emotional roller coaster. Busting wide open, the stereotyped notion of what it takes to be 'a man'.
Sam Cowan's empathetic interviewing of the abused Parktown Boys high school students, and their parents, is a synthesis of mother, psychologist, cop and healer.
I expected eruptions in response to some questions. That didn't happen.
This is a vital and cautionary read for parents and caregivers about ceding power to schools that have a code of 'what happens here, stays here.'
Sam's writing flows effortlessly and sensitively. It's a riveting and heart-breaking read. *Highly* recommended.
August 5, 2020
My opinion
In my humble opinion, the school boys and Collan were having a pity party, I don't think they didn't know what Collan was doing was wrong,
I also don't believe Collan was abused at the school, perhaps by his mother's many male friends, he was a predator of note and the teachers and principal must have been blind not to see what he was doing.. I myself know if a teacher who was abusing boys, he was fired as now works at another school. Parktown school should be closed down.
Well written. Book Sam thank you
In my humble opinion, the school boys and Collan were having a pity party, I don't think they didn't know what Collan was doing was wrong,
I also don't believe Collan was abused at the school, perhaps by his mother's many male friends, he was a predator of note and the teachers and principal must have been blind not to see what he was doing.. I myself know if a teacher who was abusing boys, he was fired as now works at another school. Parktown school should be closed down.
Well written. Book Sam thank you
January 12, 2021
At times it felt like I was reading a very long newspaper article. It is basically transcripts of interviews and conversations.
The code of silence at Parktown Boys is enough to make a person's blood boil. Its an uncomfortable read but an important one.
The code of silence at Parktown Boys is enough to make a person's blood boil. Its an uncomfortable read but an important one.
April 19, 2021
I liked the integrity and messiness of it. There are no absolute monsters, yet despite showing sympathy for the perpetrator she holds a candle for the victims. SA is a place of violence, for women, for boys, for all of us. Cry, the beloved country.
July 14, 2020
Not an easy read. Utterly gut-wrenching and heartbreaking.
July 18, 2020
Brilliantly written
A shocking story that had me questioning my own brothers experience at boarding school. Well written, however hard to read the experiences those poor boys
A shocking story that had me questioning my own brothers experience at boarding school. Well written, however hard to read the experiences those poor boys
August 11, 2020
A tough read. A book I value having read. A story that needed to be told.
August 14, 2020
Well written, powerful read. Left me feeling anxious and heartbroken for those impacted.
June 19, 2021
harrowing account of school bullying and abuse.
September 1, 2022
A book that left me with my mouth hanging open! Triggering. But excellent read.
November 9, 2022
Brilliant book that opens the readers eyes to the tragedy that took place at Parktown Boys . Disturbing at times . Emotional story about the pain these boys endured in silence.
November 23, 2025
raw and heartbreaking...
November 20, 2020
This is such an important book to read especially for us that have boy children. The trauma ,sexual harassment, bullying these children went or go through in the name of culture is deeply disturbing. Highly recommend
April 18, 2022
I found this book more harrowing than the scariest thriller. I didn’t ‘enjoy’ the read, but I found it very eye opening (and a good talking point with the kids). The ‘silence of brotherhood’ culture is so very toxic. Very scary…
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews