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by Lisa Frankfort, Patrick Fanning

Here's a book for all those times you said 'yes' but really meant 'no.' Every day we encounter difficult people with whom we're tempted to agree to anything-if only they will go away. The list of characters is virtually endless: the rude acquaintance, the dismissive relative, the passive-aggressive coworker.

Of course, the best way to deal with all of them is to hold your ground, communicating your needs and feelings openly and assertively. But, of course, this approach is always easier said than done. The less-than-assertive among us sometimes need a little help to take charge of these difficult exchanges and start getting what we want. This concise, witty book reveals the secrets you need to know to make the most of difficult conversational situations.

The book offers an arsenal of rhetorical weapons you can use to stop verbal assailants in their tracks like the snappy comeback, the well-argued response, and the simple truth. From ways to answer the ubiquitous 'How are you?' honestly to strategies for talking to an unresponsive physician, the book offers up fun, easy ways to deal effectively with common situations. In no time, you'll learn to hold your own in family discussions and relate to significant others with confidence, savvy, and tact.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology

128 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2005

Reviews

[Carolyn Bernier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life for the better. I learned how NOT to be afraid of most people.

[_Magnolia_ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Na Internecie regularnie przewija się temat o asertywności, ale nigdy nie zwracałam większej uwagi by zobaczyć o co dokładniej chodzi. Skoro wpadł mi w ręce ten tytuł, to stwierdziłam by skorzystać z okazji, aby dowiedzieć się czegoś więcej. Wniosek, który mi się nasuwa po lekturze jest jeden: książka jest skierowana do niesamowicie uległych osób. Mam na myśli taki typ uległości, który wymaga pójście na terapię.

Sposób w jaki wszystko zostało przedstawione, przypominał mi instrukcje obsługi. Na dwustronicowych rozdziałach podano przykład jakiejś sytuacji, w której każdy mógł się znaleźć, a następnie rozwiązanie jak można z nich wyjść, nie zawsze pokazując konsekwencje. Poza tym, niby mowa o asertywności, ale bywały rozdziały, w których zachęcono do agresji, szczególnie w stosunku do osób, które wykonują jakąś usługę (sprzedawca, mechanik itp.).

Napisano w lekkim stylu, z humorem, ale czasem nie wiedziałam, czy autorzy żartowali czy mówili poważnie podając swoje rozwiązania.

Moja ciekawość została zaspokojona, ale nikomu bym nie poleciła tej książki, ponieważ myślę że może więcej szkód narobić niż pożytku.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 Stars

This book has a good sense of humor and some helpful tips. Nothing groundbreaking but a good reminder.

[Anna Garczyńska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point with life examples. Some were a bit cringy for a non native speaker but overall message travels well.

[Cate · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most basic of self-help books on assertiveness, breezy and fast read, but not likely to be of lasting help. Each "chapter" is two (facing) pages long, has a message which is briefly explained, is illustrated with a "real life story" and then closes with words of encouragement. Concepts include such no-brainers as "assertiveness lies between being passive and being aggressive." Passive people are encouraged to be more assertive, aggressive people are warned to be less antagonistic. When somebody asks you to do something you don't want to do, say "no." When you want something, ask for it. Keep asking until you get what you want (or until the other person says "no," I guess).

If you are truly unable to ask for anything, or can never say "no," and need a friendly voice to needle you into action, this might do it.

[Jean Oram · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a funny, to-the-point, easy-to-read self help book that should be on all teen girl's shelves. This is a quick read full of 50 tips and suggestions on how to act more assertive to get what you want and still keep your friends.

[Elwirka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable, fast lecture.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was having some issues with an adult bully and this book gave me some helpful tips.