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The Blessing
Brian spent a lifetime seeking his father's approval. His father wanted him to be the best and the brightest, and Brian tried - desperately! When his father lay dying, Brian rushed to his bedside to plead one last time, "Please say you love me, please!"
We all have a powerful need to know that someone in this world loves us and accepts us unconditionally. We especially crave our parents' blessing, and without it, we may become angry and driven, or detached and empty. We may also feel this hurtful lack between brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, or even within our religious congregation.
Now family counselors Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., show us how we can transform our lives - even when it is no longer possible to receive our parents' blessing. They reveal the five key elements of the blessing, describe the most common home situations where a blessing has been denied (one of them may be ours), and offer practical, effective methods to heal broken hearts and families. Most important, they explain how we can be a blessing, and pass on that life-changing gift to our love ones.
We all have a powerful need to know that someone in this world loves us and accepts us unconditionally. We especially crave our parents' blessing, and without it, we may become angry and driven, or detached and empty. We may also feel this hurtful lack between brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, or even within our religious congregation.
Now family counselors Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., show us how we can transform our lives - even when it is no longer possible to receive our parents' blessing. They reveal the five key elements of the blessing, describe the most common home situations where a blessing has been denied (one of them may be ours), and offer practical, effective methods to heal broken hearts and families. Most important, they explain how we can be a blessing, and pass on that life-changing gift to our love ones.
240 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
290 people are currently reading
1348 people want to read
About the author
Gary Smalley
294 books120 followersGary Smalley was one of the country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He was the award-winning, best-selling author or coauthor of sixteen books, as well as several popular films and videos. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won Gold Medallions, The Language of Love won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life, and his other titles have received Silver Medallions. His national infomercial Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships has been viewed by television audiences all over the world.
Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.
Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
December 26, 2012
The Blessing [Revised and Updated] by John Trent and Gary Smalley
The Blessing powerfully communicates biblical truths on how to instill self-worth and emotional well-being into others based on these five essential elements:
Meaningful touch
A spoken message
Attaching high value
Picturing a special future
An active commitment
In The Blessing John Trent and Gary Smalley shares countless true life stories of men and women and their personal examples of “the blessing.” While some have received a blessing, there are also some disheartening stories of those who are still seeking the blessing. The Scripture references are effective in illustrating the use of each of the five elements for extending the blessing. Also found throughout the book are the many practical suggestions serving as examples for blessing others.
Being a mother of small children, I found The Blessing to be both enlightening and informative. I can now apply what I have learned to make a difference in not only in the lives of my children, but also my husband and my friends and family. I highly recommend The Blessing to parents, teachers, spouses or anyone seeking encourage those around them. (You will be encouraged to learn it is never too late to give or even to receive the blessing, and there is no age limit!!)
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
The Blessing powerfully communicates biblical truths on how to instill self-worth and emotional well-being into others based on these five essential elements:
Meaningful touch
A spoken message
Attaching high value
Picturing a special future
An active commitment
In The Blessing John Trent and Gary Smalley shares countless true life stories of men and women and their personal examples of “the blessing.” While some have received a blessing, there are also some disheartening stories of those who are still seeking the blessing. The Scripture references are effective in illustrating the use of each of the five elements for extending the blessing. Also found throughout the book are the many practical suggestions serving as examples for blessing others.
Being a mother of small children, I found The Blessing to be both enlightening and informative. I can now apply what I have learned to make a difference in not only in the lives of my children, but also my husband and my friends and family. I highly recommend The Blessing to parents, teachers, spouses or anyone seeking encourage those around them. (You will be encouraged to learn it is never too late to give or even to receive the blessing, and there is no age limit!!)
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
January 8, 2022
A mixed bag here. On one hand, it actually has some surprisingly smart and strangely progressive ideas on showing love to your children for a book aimed at conservative Christian's in the early 90's. And it is filled with some genuinely good parenting advice, even if it is rather long-winded and example-heavy. But then it lulls further into a false sense of security and then hits you with things like "if you do this, I guarantee your son won't be gay!" and all I can think is "Ah yes, there it is."
January 9, 2020
A book with a unique perspective I hadn't thought of previously. While I may not agree with everything in it (which I think is common for most books...), it spoke volumes about my relationship with my dad and gave good thoughts on how to approach that situation, by directing the heart back to Christ. The second to last chapter really hit home for me. Great for anyone who feels they have/had a less than stellar relationship with a parent, sibling, spouse, etc.
April 6, 2025
From a worldly perspective a wonderful book, from a biblical perspective a terrible abuse of Scripture.
PROS
+ Great teachings concerning the importance of affirmation and physical touch.
+ Great ideas on how to leave small notes for the family during business trips, and how to brief and involve them.
CONS
- The book teaches plain Universalism. One story, where a drug-addict son was lost for several months or rather years, ended up breaking in and plundering the entire house of his parents, and probably died of an overdose (they leave that detail out but it is obvious), then concludes that the parents and the son will see each other again in Heaven ... THEOS can restore any sinner, but if there was no sign of repentance and death in the midst of severe sin, then it is false and highly misleading to teach that this man made it to Heaven.
- Similar to the Circlemaker or the Prayer of Jabez, this book takes a vague idea from the Bible and blows it up.
While it has good teachings, it terribly confuses simple affirmation with biblical blessing. There is certainly an element of affirmation in a blessing, but the biblical blessing is very specific, punctual and rather prophetic. Yes, we should bless our children at important waypoints of their lives. But this book does not stop here. It builds its 'foundation' on the Esau and Joseph blessing, recognizes that those were punctual, but then simply implies 'why not apply that to our every day' and to specifically consider it as a 'lifestyle'.
Quote: "You may only see someone once - like when you're on the road and that barista in the drive-through hands you your Americano. In this book you'll absolutely learn how to bless people once. However, the Blessing is meant to be a lifestyle practiced with the people we live with, as a clear way to love like Jesus. For it is because of Jesus' love for us that the DNA of the Blessing can be woven into the very fabric of our everyday lives."
The biblical blessing is rather the opposite to an every-day-act and has nothing to do with a lifestyle. The authors pretend to understand its concept, but either willingly or naively misapply it while tickling multitudes of obviously thirsty Christian souls out there and creating a huge business with courses, certificates, cross-referenced books, blessing-games, blessing-groups, speaking appointments et al.
Yes, we have to become better communicators and in general better in fellowship. But not by twisting the Word of THEOS to our needs and 'yearning ears'.
- In the whole book there is not found a chapter, not even a few sentences on how THEOS might receive a blessing and how THEOS might answer this in the life of the giver and receiver. Nothing. They speak exclusively about me, me, me, you, you, you. It becomes painfully obvious at this point that the Bible is just a toolbox for them and they don't really care about THEOS. They go as far in their gross misapplication of Scripture, as to repeatedly ask people to bless -THEMSELVES-, while basing this idea on the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. Oh KYRIOS have mercy.
- They overwrite Scripture with their pop-psychology. While Scripture teaches that we ought not to have pending unforgiveness after having gone to bed, they teach the 24 hrs-rule, meaning to intentionally ignore the biblical teaching and to intentionally speak the next day. While with good intentions, it shows little respect for Scripture.
- They have not even respect for IESOUS. He is at least 3 times in the book referenced to as a 'guy' (curiously enough only found in the audiobook). Statements such as 'here it was that guy named Jesus' are repeated.
- Eugene Peterson's 'The Message' is endorsed as 'eminently readable', which is highly problematic and shows on which foundation the authors are standing. The book goes as far as to directly quote from the MSG.
- Both father and daughter are active in marriage counselling, but the daughter is divorced and remarried. It is obvious that this should disqualify the daughter from coming in as author after the divorce (even by secular standards), but is obviously not a problem in their view.
- They treat divorce as just one more status out there, besides singles and married people. They also speak of multiple relationships and treat it as something normal in younger years. While this is certainly the reality, it is wrong to make it even more the reality and to not clearly judge it. Meanwhile, the book repeatedly admonishes to never speak negative words, and healthy criticism is only mentioned once in order to have it 'addressed'.
- The book is saturated with careerism, with titles, PHD's, in short the American dream, packaged in a false Good Message.
- The author states that the decision to learn Greek was a bad advice. This is a truly shocking advice for Christians out there, knowing well that the Bible received for more than 6 centuries (250 BC - 5th c. AD), was Greek in both OT and NT. Every serious teacher of Scripture should challenge people to learn Greek in order to understand the biblical text without relying on a translator.
- He somehow connects the watching of a Billy Graham movie to his salvation (Graham had a strong tendency towards universalism; key figure in the ecumenical movement; close collaboration with the Vatican and the Pope; unfriendly takeover of Halley's Bible Handbook and deletion of Jesuit references; advised his friend Nixon to end the Vietnam conflict in a blaze of glory; trained female pastors; great admirer of the 33° Mason Norman Vincent Peale; taught theistic evolution; promoted the catholic-influenced Alpha Course).
- They endorse the Narnia books as 'wonderful' (teaching of white witchcraft).
- Repeated endorsement of his 'good friend' Chuck Swindoll.
PROS
+ Great teachings concerning the importance of affirmation and physical touch.
+ Great ideas on how to leave small notes for the family during business trips, and how to brief and involve them.
CONS
- The book teaches plain Universalism. One story, where a drug-addict son was lost for several months or rather years, ended up breaking in and plundering the entire house of his parents, and probably died of an overdose (they leave that detail out but it is obvious), then concludes that the parents and the son will see each other again in Heaven ... THEOS can restore any sinner, but if there was no sign of repentance and death in the midst of severe sin, then it is false and highly misleading to teach that this man made it to Heaven.
- Similar to the Circlemaker or the Prayer of Jabez, this book takes a vague idea from the Bible and blows it up.
While it has good teachings, it terribly confuses simple affirmation with biblical blessing. There is certainly an element of affirmation in a blessing, but the biblical blessing is very specific, punctual and rather prophetic. Yes, we should bless our children at important waypoints of their lives. But this book does not stop here. It builds its 'foundation' on the Esau and Joseph blessing, recognizes that those were punctual, but then simply implies 'why not apply that to our every day' and to specifically consider it as a 'lifestyle'.
Quote: "You may only see someone once - like when you're on the road and that barista in the drive-through hands you your Americano. In this book you'll absolutely learn how to bless people once. However, the Blessing is meant to be a lifestyle practiced with the people we live with, as a clear way to love like Jesus. For it is because of Jesus' love for us that the DNA of the Blessing can be woven into the very fabric of our everyday lives."
The biblical blessing is rather the opposite to an every-day-act and has nothing to do with a lifestyle. The authors pretend to understand its concept, but either willingly or naively misapply it while tickling multitudes of obviously thirsty Christian souls out there and creating a huge business with courses, certificates, cross-referenced books, blessing-games, blessing-groups, speaking appointments et al.
Yes, we have to become better communicators and in general better in fellowship. But not by twisting the Word of THEOS to our needs and 'yearning ears'.
- In the whole book there is not found a chapter, not even a few sentences on how THEOS might receive a blessing and how THEOS might answer this in the life of the giver and receiver. Nothing. They speak exclusively about me, me, me, you, you, you. It becomes painfully obvious at this point that the Bible is just a toolbox for them and they don't really care about THEOS. They go as far in their gross misapplication of Scripture, as to repeatedly ask people to bless -THEMSELVES-, while basing this idea on the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. Oh KYRIOS have mercy.
- They overwrite Scripture with their pop-psychology. While Scripture teaches that we ought not to have pending unforgiveness after having gone to bed, they teach the 24 hrs-rule, meaning to intentionally ignore the biblical teaching and to intentionally speak the next day. While with good intentions, it shows little respect for Scripture.
- They have not even respect for IESOUS. He is at least 3 times in the book referenced to as a 'guy' (curiously enough only found in the audiobook). Statements such as 'here it was that guy named Jesus' are repeated.
- Eugene Peterson's 'The Message' is endorsed as 'eminently readable', which is highly problematic and shows on which foundation the authors are standing. The book goes as far as to directly quote from the MSG.
- Both father and daughter are active in marriage counselling, but the daughter is divorced and remarried. It is obvious that this should disqualify the daughter from coming in as author after the divorce (even by secular standards), but is obviously not a problem in their view.
- They treat divorce as just one more status out there, besides singles and married people. They also speak of multiple relationships and treat it as something normal in younger years. While this is certainly the reality, it is wrong to make it even more the reality and to not clearly judge it. Meanwhile, the book repeatedly admonishes to never speak negative words, and healthy criticism is only mentioned once in order to have it 'addressed'.
- The book is saturated with careerism, with titles, PHD's, in short the American dream, packaged in a false Good Message.
- The author states that the decision to learn Greek was a bad advice. This is a truly shocking advice for Christians out there, knowing well that the Bible received for more than 6 centuries (250 BC - 5th c. AD), was Greek in both OT and NT. Every serious teacher of Scripture should challenge people to learn Greek in order to understand the biblical text without relying on a translator.
- He somehow connects the watching of a Billy Graham movie to his salvation (Graham had a strong tendency towards universalism; key figure in the ecumenical movement; close collaboration with the Vatican and the Pope; unfriendly takeover of Halley's Bible Handbook and deletion of Jesuit references; advised his friend Nixon to end the Vietnam conflict in a blaze of glory; trained female pastors; great admirer of the 33° Mason Norman Vincent Peale; taught theistic evolution; promoted the catholic-influenced Alpha Course).
- They endorse the Narnia books as 'wonderful' (teaching of white witchcraft).
- Repeated endorsement of his 'good friend' Chuck Swindoll.
September 19, 2024
I heard about this book while listening to a sermon a couple months ago and I’m so glad I read it. I want to be really intentional about blessing (giving unconditional love and acceptance to) Millie and show her every day how loved she is. This book gave me the tools and the “why” behind those tools and I feel equipped in ways to bless her as she grows up. It also speaks on giving the blessing to other family members and your spouse. Highly recommend this resource!
November 23, 2025
Una dintre acele carti pe care trebuie sa le citesti daca vrei o viata mai buna: pentru tine, pentru familie si pentru toti cei din jur.
July 2, 2012
Another good find I would say. The Blessing is truly a wonderful blessing that I would like to recommend to anyone who could read, just because we all have the power to bless, but most especially to all parents and educators, who, like parents, play a major role in making and breaking the self-image of children.
Unlike most books I've read as of late, that I am racing to finish, this one is something that I had to pace. Not only it is very insightful but could also be a very emotional read, not only based on the stories cited on the book to showcase the powerful impact a simple word of encouragement or a thoughtless criticism could have towards someone, but also because reading the book could make one take a trip down memory lane. For me, it brought back painful memories of important people in my life who withheld the blessing from me and deliberately made me feel unimportant, and for the longest time, I could not throw away that notion. I'm sure one way or another, a lot of people could relate to that and the good news is that God has the power to reverse the curse and turn our current situation into a blessing.
Please, if you could read, pick up a copy of this blessing. This will teach you to be mindful of the things you say and do in the presence of a young child and realize how a thoughtless statement can scar a person for life or how a sincere gesture of appreciation could give them hope in trying situations they might encounter in their lives later on.
Unlike most books I've read as of late, that I am racing to finish, this one is something that I had to pace. Not only it is very insightful but could also be a very emotional read, not only based on the stories cited on the book to showcase the powerful impact a simple word of encouragement or a thoughtless criticism could have towards someone, but also because reading the book could make one take a trip down memory lane. For me, it brought back painful memories of important people in my life who withheld the blessing from me and deliberately made me feel unimportant, and for the longest time, I could not throw away that notion. I'm sure one way or another, a lot of people could relate to that and the good news is that God has the power to reverse the curse and turn our current situation into a blessing.
Please, if you could read, pick up a copy of this blessing. This will teach you to be mindful of the things you say and do in the presence of a young child and realize how a thoughtless statement can scar a person for life or how a sincere gesture of appreciation could give them hope in trying situations they might encounter in their lives later on.
June 21, 2019
Simply Put, Love Your Kids!
I really liked the overall premise of loving your kids well, but I felt like the theological premise was a bit shaky (although the author did acknowledge that a blessing like Isaac gave Jacob was prophetic, unlike a parent today would give their child, the idea of the book is to give an Isaac-like blessing to your kids).
I also thought the five elements of the blessing (which partially echo the five love languages) could be condensed into three ideas: a lifelong commitment of loving touch and words. Also, the book really emphasized the idea of having a blessing event, where a parent would bless their children with a special written or spoken blessing; I would think a lifestyle (which they do discuss but in a secondary manner) that aims for frequent loving touch and words would have a greater effect on a child than one event.
Finally, perhaps I missed this recommendation in the book or it was mentioned so briefly I have forgotten about it, but I would think one of the best and most effective ways to bless your children is to pray with and for them out loud every night. Not only would it meet the author's criteria for the five elements of the blessing, prayer is truly the most important way to bless your children.
I really liked the overall premise of loving your kids well, but I felt like the theological premise was a bit shaky (although the author did acknowledge that a blessing like Isaac gave Jacob was prophetic, unlike a parent today would give their child, the idea of the book is to give an Isaac-like blessing to your kids).
I also thought the five elements of the blessing (which partially echo the five love languages) could be condensed into three ideas: a lifelong commitment of loving touch and words. Also, the book really emphasized the idea of having a blessing event, where a parent would bless their children with a special written or spoken blessing; I would think a lifestyle (which they do discuss but in a secondary manner) that aims for frequent loving touch and words would have a greater effect on a child than one event.
Finally, perhaps I missed this recommendation in the book or it was mentioned so briefly I have forgotten about it, but I would think one of the best and most effective ways to bless your children is to pray with and for them out loud every night. Not only would it meet the author's criteria for the five elements of the blessing, prayer is truly the most important way to bless your children.
October 1, 2011
I first read this book over ten years ago, before I was a parent.
From the adult child point-of-view, this book confirmed what I knew already, that my parents are top-notch!
Now, I returned to this book as the parent of a 6-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son, and I found it a more challenging read.
How have I fulfilled the five elements of the blessing, an ancient practice of encouraging children to grow up into productive, responsible, loved adults?
1) Meaningful touch
2) A spoken (or written) message
3) Attaching high value
4) Picturing a special future
5) An active commitment
As a parent, I have plenty of room to grow.
If you’d like insight into how to improve your relationships with your own kids, or if you feel you had a difficult childhood, this book is a must-read.
As you learn and apply the five principles of the book, you will find yourself feeling better about yourself and the people around you.
I give this book my highest recommendation!
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in return for an unbiased review.
From the adult child point-of-view, this book confirmed what I knew already, that my parents are top-notch!
Now, I returned to this book as the parent of a 6-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son, and I found it a more challenging read.
How have I fulfilled the five elements of the blessing, an ancient practice of encouraging children to grow up into productive, responsible, loved adults?
1) Meaningful touch
2) A spoken (or written) message
3) Attaching high value
4) Picturing a special future
5) An active commitment
As a parent, I have plenty of room to grow.
If you’d like insight into how to improve your relationships with your own kids, or if you feel you had a difficult childhood, this book is a must-read.
As you learn and apply the five principles of the book, you will find yourself feeling better about yourself and the people around you.
I give this book my highest recommendation!
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in return for an unbiased review.
October 21, 2014
This is a great book for all relationships of life: for spouses, for parents to children, for children to parents, and for churches to its members.
Gary Smalley and John Trent share the story of the blessing in the life of Jacob and Esau and their father Isaac. Many children struggle through their lives as adults because they lacked the five key elements of the blessing. These elements are meaningful touch, spoken words, expressing high-value, picturing a special future, and active commitment.
I highly recommend this book especially for those seeking the closeness in the relationships that God has called us to share in life.
Gary Smalley and John Trent share the story of the blessing in the life of Jacob and Esau and their father Isaac. Many children struggle through their lives as adults because they lacked the five key elements of the blessing. These elements are meaningful touch, spoken words, expressing high-value, picturing a special future, and active commitment.
I highly recommend this book especially for those seeking the closeness in the relationships that God has called us to share in life.
May 6, 2013
This is a great book. It gave me concrete suggestions to make sure my children know they have my blessing and admonished me to change some of the parenting habits I have now. It also gave me insight into the hearts of people I love who have never (and never will) received their parents blessings and ideas for ways to bless them. I was also encouraged to make blessing my spouse a fixture in our marriage and I am excited about planning evenings of blessing for both him and our children!
October 29, 2016
Read this long ago and used it in a women's study group as our weekly text. Definitely filled with great insights, linked to the Biblical "blessings" in the Old/New Testament. A classic. I'm going to get this updated edition and read it again.
November 22, 2022
Enjoyed the practical concepts and biblical principles of this book. There was lots of self-promotion for other materials and products throughout the book that sometimes got in the way of the content.
March 18, 2025
How do we make sure we intentionally bless our children, wife, and coworkers? I think the premise of the book is to bestow that blessing unto your children but why not use framework to bless everyone you come into contact with? I guess the book alludes to that as well. Anyway it looks at the Old Testament blessings and breaks it down into 5 steps or 5 components. A meaningful touch, a spoken (and written) word that attaches a high value ideally with the use of word pictures. It conveys a special future and reaffirms your commitment.
The book also gets into details about what happens to people when they miss out on that blessing. Generally it's bad. It goes into a bit of what you should do if you never got the blessing. I heard about the book through a podcast which generated my interest in it. From the description I expected it to be much more dense than it was and maybe a few hours (I listened to it in the car) longer than it was. I feel like there were opportunities to be explored and maybe if I were to grab a more up-to-date version they have gotten after those points.
It was a good book though. 4 out of 5 stars.
The book also gets into details about what happens to people when they miss out on that blessing. Generally it's bad. It goes into a bit of what you should do if you never got the blessing. I heard about the book through a podcast which generated my interest in it. From the description I expected it to be much more dense than it was and maybe a few hours (I listened to it in the car) longer than it was. I feel like there were opportunities to be explored and maybe if I were to grab a more up-to-date version they have gotten after those points.
It was a good book though. 4 out of 5 stars.
December 11, 2021
Even though this book is dated, it was very relevant. Lots of good insight about why people’s relationships are a struggle and good advice about how to incorporate “blessing” others in our lives.
I’ve gotten into this idea lately from various outlets that our words either bless or curse - add value to, or devalue - other people. I think it’s such an important thing for Christians especially to be aware of. Jesus said that we will be known for our love for each other. If we are not “adding value” to the people in our lives with our words, then we certainly aren’t going to be appealing to an outsider culture. We may not be using “curse” words, but we routinely devalue with our words. How we can be edifying and encouraging, offering hope and acceptance to the people in our lives? The authors focus in about half the book on how parents give (or don’t give) the blessing, but then they talk about blessings our spouses, friends, parents and church mates.
I’ve gotten into this idea lately from various outlets that our words either bless or curse - add value to, or devalue - other people. I think it’s such an important thing for Christians especially to be aware of. Jesus said that we will be known for our love for each other. If we are not “adding value” to the people in our lives with our words, then we certainly aren’t going to be appealing to an outsider culture. We may not be using “curse” words, but we routinely devalue with our words. How we can be edifying and encouraging, offering hope and acceptance to the people in our lives? The authors focus in about half the book on how parents give (or don’t give) the blessing, but then they talk about blessings our spouses, friends, parents and church mates.
May 1, 2019
The Blessing is about giving the life-changing gift of unconditional love and acceptance to our children that will shape their deep sense of self-worth and emotional well-being. Through these five biblically based essential elements:- meaningful touch, spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, an active commitment, we can instill in our children a godly perspective on building healthy relationships that will not only impact them but for generations to come.
This revised and updated edition is jam-packed with helpful links, discussions, questions, online videos for each chapter and also an invitation to take The Blessing challenge on their website. I highly recommend this book not only to parents but to everyone as it is applicable to all relationships of life - children, grandparents, siblings, church members, etc.
This revised and updated edition is jam-packed with helpful links, discussions, questions, online videos for each chapter and also an invitation to take The Blessing challenge on their website. I highly recommend this book not only to parents but to everyone as it is applicable to all relationships of life - children, grandparents, siblings, church members, etc.
May 17, 2024
I liked this book a lot!! it had such great ideas and points made about blessing the people in your life and i think it brought up some things i would like to do better at like being more intentional with my siblings and friends. it had great things to say about how your parents’ relationship and how you were raised shapes you into who you are (which i’m a sucker for reading about that kind of stuff i think it’s so interesting). i also loved how it talks about your future marriage and how if you want to see change from your past, you need to start communicating early on about those things. only thing i got frustrated with was it was a lot of “you’re this way because of your parents” or “you struggle with anxiety because of how you were raised” and not a lot of “here’s what you should do about it” if that makes sense. it brought up great topics of conversation, but it wasn’t a “self help” book which i think was the purpose, i just love having an answer to problems 😅
January 3, 2018
An excellent book for anyone, but especially for those who have not received the father's blessing from their own father for whatever reason. I purchased copies to give as Christmas gifts to new parents so they can begin now to bestow that blessing on their children. For those who still need the father's blessing, the authors show how to receive it even if the parents have already died. It explains a lot about why some people act as they do because that blessing is missing and they can't get on with their lives in a meaningful or successful manner without it. I would highly recommend this book.
July 22, 2018
A great book - (1986 version) that reminds us of the needs of God's children to receive blessings in their lives. The focus of the book is on children and how as adults you can give them the blessings that they cherish so much, but also is about blessing others, including your spouse, parents, church family, etc. I think it would be great if we all practiced this - empowering us to give this blessing to others, even if you don't feel like you have received it yourself. But a large part is in forgiveness to be able to receive the blessing for you as well. I enjoyed the version of the book I read - would like to look over the updated version.
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November 7, 2020Something I was reading must have pointed me to this book by Smalley and Trent. I've enjoyed reading Gary Smalley's books ever since I heard him speak at a Promise Keepers conference a decade or so ago, but unfortunately this one was so dated that I had very few takeaways, and got about five or six chapters in before giving up on it as a waste of time for me at this point in my life.
Smalley and Trent begin with the concept of the biblical patriarchal blessing and stretch a point nearly to the point of breaking showing how children and adults are negatively affected by not being "blessed" by their parents and other loved ones.
Smalley and Trent begin with the concept of the biblical patriarchal blessing and stretch a point nearly to the point of breaking showing how children and adults are negatively affected by not being "blessed" by their parents and other loved ones.
February 5, 2024
In the beginning I did not think I was going to like this book or gain much value from reading it. I am happy to say that I was wrong, I am so glad I read this, I think there is so much good information here. I will say there are FAR too many personal anecdotes and they had me skipping through the ends of several chapters. BUT, the overall lesson is fantastic. If you’ve ever been intrigued by the blessings given in the Bible and how to construct and deliver a blessing to your own people, this is an excellent resource. I especially love how it frames a way to be a blessing and bless others daily. Some really sweet ideas and tools in this book.
January 2, 2025
Our pastor piqued my interest in this book after referencing it in a sermon last year. It seemed just the right book to begin my reading journey in 2025. Published nearly four decades ago (revised/updated in subsequent editions), The Blessing is both timeless and timely for our generation today. Highly recommend!
•••
“The blessing described in scripture always included five elements:
1. Meaningful and appropriate touch
2. A spoken message
3. Attaching high value to the one being blessed
4. Picturing a special future for him/her
5. An active commitment to fulfill the blessing”
•••
“The blessing described in scripture always included five elements:
1. Meaningful and appropriate touch
2. A spoken message
3. Attaching high value to the one being blessed
4. Picturing a special future for him/her
5. An active commitment to fulfill the blessing”
August 24, 2020
I am not a devout Christian but was brought up in the Christian belief. Despite of this my parents seem to not know how to bless anyone.
As an adult I am blessed to have a curious mind and to have stumbled on this book.
This book reminded me the importance of appropriate touching and sharing kind words to others. I am reinvigorated as a human!
I can’t help but buy a hard copy for my sister and hope that it will help guide her in blessing her new baby boy and the lives she touches.
As an adult I am blessed to have a curious mind and to have stumbled on this book.
This book reminded me the importance of appropriate touching and sharing kind words to others. I am reinvigorated as a human!
I can’t help but buy a hard copy for my sister and hope that it will help guide her in blessing her new baby boy and the lives she touches.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 24, 2023
I learned so much from reading this book. The first 10 chapters I was able to read my Mom's hardcover copy. Then, I was able to finish by listening to the rest via Hoopla audio book. This was tremendous for me as I was able to hear a couple of the authors share the book as well as their own stories and experiences surrounding the Blessing. Highly recommended for everyone, whether you received the blessing or not. We all should learn how to give the Blessing to others!
March 23, 2021
I have a sense that I may feel differently about this book if I read the updated and revised version, rather than the 1986 version. The principles were good, but many of the examples seemed dated or inappropriate. I was reading it to continue a journey of grief. But this earlier version could off-putting to people who are more progressive in their beliefs.
November 20, 2017
Siunaus on sinetti: sen sisältämä varaukseton rakkaus ja hyväksyntä ovat elintärkeitä henkiselle hyvinvoinnillemme. Se vaikuttaa myös siihen, miten pystymme kohtaamaan kaipuumme siunakselle mikä emme koskaan tule saamaan.
January 1, 2018
I was fortunate to attend lots of trainings when I worked for a regional school center and one was on this book. After I had a child, I remembered it and got it and read it again. I think it’s a must-read for parents.
July 12, 2019
Excellent reminder to bless those we love with intentionality
Writing out a blessing for each of my children is a priority for me now! I'm grateful for those who have blessed me and am excited to put these ideas into practice.
Writing out a blessing for each of my children is a priority for me now! I'm grateful for those who have blessed me and am excited to put these ideas into practice.
August 25, 2019
Not a bad book, great concept overall. In my opinion the book could have been much shorter as it’s topic wasn’t that varied throughout. Most of the chapters were filled with examples but overall were repetitive. Worth the read for parents.
August 28, 2019
this book touches on how to be a blessing in all kinds of relationships.
it was a blessing to be able to read and learn something about myself.
if you are seeking validation from your parents, want a better relationship with your children, spouse, and friends, then this is the book for you.
it was a blessing to be able to read and learn something about myself.
if you are seeking validation from your parents, want a better relationship with your children, spouse, and friends, then this is the book for you.
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